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6.5. Intentionality In Our Relationship - A Soul Pod Bonus
23 Plays3 months ago
As we had no real framework to follow, establishing our relationship was a journey through uncharted territory that both of us have found to be deeply transformative. Join us as we discuss what it has been like to figure out what we are to each other, and what it means to us to be in a soul pod.
We're grateful you're here! If you like what you’re hearing, you can follow us on Instagram: @soulpodthepodcast. You can also email us directly at [email protected].
Hosts: Christina Bell & Molly Wilde
Music: The Confrontation, by Jonathan Boyle, licensed from Premium Beats by Shutterstock
Editing: Molly Wilde
Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is for entertainment and enjoyment. We are not professionals in any regard. We do not have professional knowledge, training, or education in physical health, mental health, or spiritual matters. Any suggestions or recommendations made during our episodes should be independently researched by the listener before considering implementation, or better yet, listeners should ignore everything we say. We cannot be held responsible or liable for anything we say, or any actions taken by any persons as a result of listening to our podcast episodes. Stay safe, stay informed, stay smart.
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Transcript
Returning with Listener Interaction
00:00:22
Speaker
Hello friends. Howdy listeners. Welcome tip back to SoulPod. We are back in action. yeah It feels like it's been a little bit of a break since we last recorded. It has been a bit of a break for us, but hopefully not for the listeners. Yeah, well, yeah, definitely.
00:00:42
Speaker
It's, uh, we, we did take a break from recording cause we had a bit of a backlog. We had editing to do and we got our, you know, first episodes published and we have been so excited watching the interaction with that. It's been really cool. Yes. It's really fun to see the numbers ticking up. for yeah And I, oh man, I especially just cannot get enough of that map.
00:01:08
Speaker
Honestly, I just, I love a map so much. I, uh, I'm interacting with that thing constantly. I'm just like, who's, who's listening to us? Where are you? We got somebody in Belgium listening. If you're here in this. that is exciting yeah It's so cool. Oh my God. So cool. I would love to visit Brussels.
00:01:29
Speaker
Honestly. But yeah, we see you. We love you. We're happy you're here. Heck yeah.
Listener Feedback: Candle Varieties
00:01:36
Speaker
Oh, hey. And you know what? We we received an email from somebody named Em. Yeah. And um they were talking about the candles. i and What did you want to say about that, Molly? Just to like the fact that like somebody actually took the time to like explain all the different varieties of candles in the Catholic Church.
00:01:59
Speaker
like in a particular, you know, in any given, I guess, cathedral setting, like, and the functions that that each of them serve. It was like super, super fascinating. And especially I just appreciated the fact somebody just took it. It was like such a detailed, long email. It was beautiful. I loved it. I was just like, Oh my God. Yeah. Thank you. yeah we We really appreciate the interactions for sure. Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:24
Speaker
Thank you for taking the time to listen to us, to write to us. ah like this it just is so It's already so fulfilling. Yes.
00:02:37
Speaker
Oh, that's
Exploring Relationship Dynamics
00:02:38
Speaker
awesome. In that vein, we wanted to kind of continue on the same theme of our last two episodes yeah in you know with the thought that people might have questions about our relationship a since we have become a reunited people in a pod.
00:03:00
Speaker
that uh we genuinely believe that we are in a soul pod together um but then you know we do realize that there's probably a lot of questions about our relationship dynamic and um how we are with each other how we refer to each other um those kind of things so we wanted to do ah an episode based on that stuff and like maybe preemptively um answering questions before we've actually received any. And if we do receive any in an email, we'll definitely make another episode where we answer some questions. But i'm just thinking about what our listeners might be interested in knowing or you know what they might be thinking. and
00:03:48
Speaker
questions they may have. So we're going to do you a little episode about that. I kind of wanted to start with how when we first got reacquainted, probably before we even met in person, I think that, you know, the conversation definitely came up about how we would address each other. And I'm pretty sure I told Molly, like,
00:04:13
Speaker
you know, you can call me mom if you want to, you can call me Christina if you want to, you can call me whatever you want as long as you call me. but And that was my feeling is like, I don't give a shit, call me whatever you want to call me, call me shithead for all I care. I do remember you saying that actually. I do. like god As long as you call me because like, I'm so excited that you're back in my life and it's unreal. so Yeah. So sometimes you call me, you know, most of the time you call me Christina. And that's like, especially in the context of like when other people are around, because you do have a mom, you had a mom that raised you and you know, that's the mom. And then on the other, any other type of occasions, once in a while when Molly's excited to tell me something, when you Molly are excited to tell me something, you'll call me Ma. Like when you're really excited, you're like, Ma.
00:05:09
Speaker
yeah Usually it's all caps. Ma! Exactly. Yeah. So yeah, and I mean, i'm I'm good with it either way. I don't, I don't care. I am just like, like I said, I'm very grateful to have Molly back in my life. And like, I'm talking to the audience. yeah I realized that when I'm talking, like somebody pointed out to me.
00:05:32
Speaker
And one of our listeners pointed out to me and Molly that like I tend to talk about her in the third person because I'm talking to the audience about her. um And I'm sorry if that sounds really awkward. And like if it does, write to us, tell us. um what We can adjust accordingly. yeah we Her and I, Molly, you and me, can be sitting here like looking at each other through the computer and talking to each other like we're having a normal conversation on a phone.
Addressing Each Other & Audience
00:06:02
Speaker
But it's hard to do that when we recognize that we have an audience that's listening and we're trying to like, you know. Yeah. Like, it's like we're telling a story to people who's, you know, it is like a third party, third, you know, third person situation. It makes, I didn't question it initially, um you know, just because like it made sense to me knowing like, Hey, we're talking like to an audience technically, like when we're telling a story,
00:06:30
Speaker
both of us have heard the story before. So it's not like we're telling it to each other, we're telling it to our listeners. And so that's like, it made sense to me that, yeah that you'd refer to me, you know, in the third person talking about a story. But I also understand how it can be a little jarring to just be like, who what? You know, um especially when like you switch back and forth. yeah um And it's like not consistent, I can see that too. um But I also I don't want to get too cut up in you know being worried about correcting ourselves. like I don't want to get editing too complicated. So like I think that like we're well you know if more people reach out, we'll adjust accordingly. But like I feel like we've we've done our due diligence to address that. but yeah
00:07:18
Speaker
So that that being said and that out of the way, um I was curious if you wanted to talk about how you view me. Like, ah do you view me as more of a friend or what other type of feeling do you have towards me in terms of our relationship? How do you how do you personally define define our relationship? Right. Yeah. And that has been something that I think over the years has been just sort of an ongoing back burner question, you know, going on in my mind, because there it's, it's very hard to define, uh, our relationship and how you, how I view you. You know, I was thinking about it today, earlier today in like preparation for wanting to have something coherent to say in this episode. Um, and realize that like technically.
00:08:13
Speaker
For me in my life the role of birth mother or biological mother whichever term you prefer I prefer biological mother That's always been a role that has existed in my life my whole life Like it's our it's always been there. It's always been present I've always been conscious of it as being like there is someone in the world who fills that role for me and It was just simply that up until I was 23, that role was, you know, faceless and voiceless. And so it still feels pretty natural to refer to you as my biological mother, you know, especially since that is like the most straightforward possible like answer I could ever give somebody, you know, in the, in a crunch of being like, who is she to you?
00:09:05
Speaker
Well, she freaking brought me into the world. um Literally a biological mother. So it's like, that's sort of is almost the default, I think. But it still doesn't have a clear defined, a clear definition, you know? um Because a biological mother or a birth mother means something different to every effectively every adopted child because kids who aren't adopted don't usually refer to their mothers as birth mothers. So, you know, and as we mentioned previously, our situation is so rare that there really isn't any sort of path already paved for how to proceed, how to view you, think of you, refer to you.
00:09:59
Speaker
And so I've really had to think hard on like what but like what functions have you fulfilled since we've come back into each other's lives.
Mentorship and Friendship
00:10:12
Speaker
And like the closest understandable like role that most people can understand and relate to would be like a best friend. And like maybe like a trusted mentor, too, because like I do still also view you as like somebody who has more life experience than I do.
00:10:30
Speaker
ah You have been through for all the very similar things that we've been through in our lives There's also been a lot that you have been through that I have not that you know still but Gives me like the leeway to be able to view you as somebody that I can turn to you when I just need somebody who understands more of life a broader range of life and you know and in some contexts like that also sort of Like the the Venn diagram sort of overlaps there with with the role of mother too. um But it's like you said, that role, mother is filled in my life already. And so- And I just want to inter interject really quickly. Like I never expected to, like for you to come to me, in you know, as the role of mother, I never, I mean, if you ever wanted to, you know,
00:11:27
Speaker
I don't know how to say all this. It's really hard. but yeah I didn't expect you to to talk to me and treat me as your mother, but if you needed that from me, like I'm willing to do that or be that for you, but I never expected it. and that's That's the thing for thing between a bio mom and child that gets reunited is like a lot of times that parent, the bio parent expects to become that role of parent.
00:11:55
Speaker
yeah And I, you know, I mean, hurt me okay, Molly, you and I are 16 and a half, whatever years ago. Like just under 17 years apart. So ah in a lot of ways, and you know, when we're together, people think we're sisters. right um And we do kind of like have that, I think in some ways we definitely have that kind of vibe between us. yeah yeah we're We're best friends, sisters.
00:12:25
Speaker
And like, you know, it's kind of cool to hear you say that you think of me as a mentor in a way that's really cool. I appreciate that. As much as I know that like, it probably was unexpected for me to say that based on how I tend to.
00:12:39
Speaker
behave. It's all good. That's, you know what, I have an almost nine-year-old son and I'm very used to being treated like my views don't count. My opinions are garbage. There's never a feeling I'm going to give someone woman and I know, I know. But I do, like I do lament it a lot in my life and it's not because it because it isn't only with you that I'm that way where I'm just like,
00:13:10
Speaker
I cannot be told what to do. I cannot be bombarded with you know advice and things. like I just absolutely can't stand it to the point of like physical illness, practically. oh and It just has not ever gone well. so ah to you know i I've really had to confront that, I guess, yeah with you because I can't just ignore you, ah you know, or just like, ah I can't just, you know, there's, there is through it all. And this is also going back to the overarching theme here. Like, we're in it now. Yeah, together. We're in this. And to that end, like that, that really has informed
00:13:59
Speaker
you know, the way that we operate with each other to the point where it's like, even if we are so uncomfortable or so scared to bring up issues and, you know, problems that we're coming up against, you know, cause we both really dislike confrontation of any kind. um Like we're both that way, but like we have prioritized that because of the fact that we know, like we have, it wasn't even a conscious commitment commitment that we needed to make, you know?
00:14:28
Speaker
um Like, it was just it was just understood, like, we're in this. And that, I think, is you know ah hugely indicative of the presence of a soul pod for us. Yeah. Yeah. And i you know going back to... and We don't have her... and Molly, you and I don't have other people to compare ourselves to in our lives. Like, I don't know anyone else that's been adopted or given a child up for an adoption or any of that.
00:14:56
Speaker
or that's, you know, reconnected and been able to establish a relationship with that. Right. Well, you pay you might know. Well, I know, I know people, people but I don't, that's the thing. And I think we we did talk about this, you know, um, in like part one or part two of our telling our story somewhere in there. Yeah. But you know there are people, there are people that I know who have not had good experiences either knowing their biological parent or trying to find and being unable to find their biological parent. you know and And I don't have any other, it's to my recollection right now, I cannot recall another adopted person that I know.
00:15:37
Speaker
so Like my point of bringing it up is just literally that if we do know anybody, it's not ever been like a successful reunion right um in terms of like... However you wanted to find a success, but like... Yeah, but like it hasn't been an ongoing long-term relationship that's come out of the reunion for these other people. So we know how lucky we are and that we both want each other in our lives.
00:16:04
Speaker
And we've talked about that and i you know something that Molly had said to me early on that you you wanted to find me pretty badly and you finally did. And you're not about to like lose me at this point. you know And yeah you know it was like awesome. like I appreciated knowing that. I appreciated her honesty upfront with even if we were having miscommunications with each other and misunderstandings and scared to death about talking to each other.
00:16:33
Speaker
And in voicing our concerns or whatever, that the knowledge that we needed to keep each other around was going to override the fear that we had to talk to each other about things that might bother us or something like any normal relationship.
00:16:53
Speaker
Yeah. You may, you know, anybody has misunderstandings and need, you know, need to be able to communicate with each other openly and honestly. And that's the thing that's been really cool for me is because I have a lot of difficult relationships in my life and like learning about how to communicate more in a more healthy way and a more open and honest, but also willing to listen kind of way. Like needing to know Molly's point of view on things as well and like trying to weigh her concerns in with mine and, you know, just learning that, learning all these new ways to communicate. Like like I said before, it helps me with my son. It helps me in other relationships I have.
Intentional Relationship Building
00:17:43
Speaker
and definitely have become a better person for it. And so I'm so so grateful because Molly has really opened my eyes to a lot of things and taught me a lot of things. And that's helped me in countless ways. So I'm so just grateful for the whole the whole relationship and experience of having her in my life.
00:18:07
Speaker
So yeah, like bestie or whatever. ahly but You know, in all transparency, we were talking about this the other day on the phone and that kind of was what triggered me having this idea to do this um episode. And you were kind of seeing how it's so much more than just these like labels that we can put on it. It's hard to define it. Yeah. Like.
00:18:34
Speaker
You know, like I was thinking about it, you know, I was thinking about it then and again today, like the, you know, terms like best friend or mentor or mother or whatever, like those that like they fit technically on paper, but like they feel too hollow of, of like, in contrast to like what we actually are to each other. Like it's just, it's, it's thin. It's not.
00:19:02
Speaker
it doesn't carry the weight of like how important we actually are to each other. ye Which again, it just says with every point that we make here, I'm just like, and this is why we know we're in a soul pod.
00:19:18
Speaker
This is why. It was our destiny to be reunited. e And I think we both knew that from very early on. Yeah. We both felt it and that's what makes things with us so unique and different. It's like we both just knew that we wanted each other in our lives and we're going to fight to keep it that way and you know everything we can do and everything in our power that we can do to keep this relationship healthy and you know full of positives and meaning all of those things. Does that make sense?
00:19:57
Speaker
Absolutely. I was thinking about it in that same vein, like the way in which us reconnecting has truly taught me what it means to be intentional about a relationship. Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh, that's perfect.
00:20:14
Speaker
because like all my ah all the relationships and friendships that I've had prior to finding you again felt circumstantial and that didn't ever mean surface level because I certainly had really deep connections with people and things that, you know, were relationships that meant a lot to me.
00:20:35
Speaker
But they were circumstantial. They were like, because we were thrown together like in school or in church or the fact that it was, you know, a family relationships, whether that's my immediate family that I grew up in or like the extended family that I had growing up, like it was all circumstantial. It was all like preset already there. And then against all odds, you come back into my life and I suddenly realized like how much I need this to not ah falter.
00:21:05
Speaker
and so and how much i and and not in a ah way of like feeling. Oh, like there's so much pressure to make sure that this like works out. Cause I never felt pressure that way. Cause I never felt like we were up against, like there was no, there was so much comfortability from the start. Um, yeah, there was no external yeah no external pressure from anyone else. It was all within ourselves to be like, we really need to make this work because we, we recognize how valuable we are to each other. Yeah.
Reconnecting Fears and Openness
00:21:36
Speaker
Yeah. In ways that like I still even don't.
00:21:39
Speaker
know if there's a way to particularly, um, specify, you know, or put words to. It's really, it's really difficult. But with regards to like intentionality, i I did worry a tiny, tiny bit before we actually, like when I knew I was going to effectively that I had found you, but before we had actually spoken, I had a tiny fear of like, what if we don't get each other? What if we're not on the same wavelength? What if we're not? like you know What if there's awkwardness? like I've never been the kind of person who can handle awkwardness very well. wow
00:22:17
Speaker
and you know you know to like I worried like because I was like, I've wanted this so badly and like I have this feeling that she has to and what if there's awkwardness and we have to like overcome that somehow and if we want to maintain a connection?
00:22:35
Speaker
and But fortunately, like, we're practically the same person. Oh my god. Fortunately and unfortunately sometimes. um Is that the truth? Oh lord. But like, it just immediately there was like no, that any pressure, imagined pressure that I had started to feel before experiencing speaking to you for the first time just immediately disappeared because it was like,
00:23:06
Speaker
I felt very early on, like I could talk to you about anything. meet you And like it was, and then actually ah almost kind of leads into like some of the other points that we wanted to make where like the differences that we've found in our relationship as mother and daughter, as opposed to your typical mother and daughter relationship, just because like ah for me in considering that, like the first, like the very number one thing that comes to mind when I think of how we're different from most mother and daughter dynamics is the comfortability in like the range of topics that we can talk about with no awkwardness.
00:23:52
Speaker
Um, or little to no awkwardness, little to no awkwardness. I mean, you know, but, uh, you know, I there's, and it's difficult too, because like, and the only other parent dynamic that I can compare to is, you know, my adoptive mother who I was raised in a very religious home. And I think the, the very rigid,
00:24:19
Speaker
religious a culture dictated more than anything else like beyond personalities beyond anything else like being so felt feeling so restricted in the religion that was not only our family is just chosen religion or whatever but like it really just sort of formed like the structure and the rules and the like just everything that i was like and well i it makes you automatically not comfortable talking about certain things. Like maybe not even just like some friends within that religion, you know? And to not have that, I mean, like I, you know, I can talk to friends who are outside of Mormonism, or I could talk to friends outside of the religious context more openly, but to to have like a coherent relationship who where I was like,
00:25:15
Speaker
Not only is it that I feel comfortable talking to her, but I feel like in all likelihood, she's going to understand what I'm saying or where I'm coming from because we share DNA. We share the same brain. No, I'm just kidding. Practically.
00:25:33
Speaker
there was just like There's there's like a level of trust that was like built in with you that made it so much easier to just be like very blunt or upfront about some stuff that like most of the time I would have assumed others might not understand. Yeah. And whether that is the case for, you know, a mother-daughter dynamic where, you know, they are biologically related and they were raised in that same household together, like, I can't say because I didn't experience that. You know, it's tough.
00:26:13
Speaker
But i regardless, like there was such a comfort in realizing like how much we did understand each other out the gate and how I could just be open with you about so much in ways that I really don't think I ever experienced with anybody else before.
00:26:32
Speaker
And yes, in case, uh, the audience is curious that topic, those topics do include sex. Lots of crazy sex.
00:26:45
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Edit that out if you want. I don' i mean, we may not need to cause honestly, let's, but let's just be real, right? Like sex is.
00:26:59
Speaker
a taboo subject for most people. And it's also one of my favorite things to talk about.
00:27:08
Speaker
and And at one time in my life, it was probably one of mine as well. I'm just the young, weird freak. Maybe I'll become less, ah I don't know, ah open when I get older. Who knows? I don't know.
00:27:30
Speaker
Regardless. Yeah. Yeah. wrote When she talks about comfort, comfortability and not awkward and whatever, like that's one of the big things I think that you were trying to. It is the main thing because like we did, we did discuss it a lot and not even in like a, like, I don't know. Cause it's, it's, it's hard even to talk about it like now.
00:27:50
Speaker
without worrying that I'm giving the impression of like that we have like super inappropriate conversations, but also like who defines inappropriate and is it inappropriate? Like, you know, when you're just having a discussion, you know, you need advice about something or, and or just wanted to talk about experiences. Like, yeah yeah. I mean, if you had a question about, you know, my sexual experiences growing up or, you know, as a younger person or whatever, um,
00:28:20
Speaker
You know, I would probably tell you pretty much anything. You probably have told me most things. I probably have. I don't even know. yeah um But yeah, I don't know. that's That's one of the ways that we've been able to talk about stuff that would normally be embarrassing for some people, but not maybe not for us. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, again, I don't have like a normal, typical,
00:28:47
Speaker
parent-child relationship to compare it to within my own experience. But like you know for the most part, the discourse that I hear is that people feel awkward talking to their parents about sexual subjects or sex as a topic in general, and or the parents get weird and uptight yeah wanting to hear yeah anything.
00:29:11
Speaker
And I think you've had a little bit of that with me. Just a little, you know, it's just like as I've gotten a bit older and like... I don't know.
Unique Communication Style
00:29:20
Speaker
It's hard to put a word to this or a feeling to it, but, you know, like Molly was going to tell me something the other day and I was kind of like, eh, I don't know. Yeah. And I was like, okay. i Like it's okay if you don't want to hear it. It's really okay. Just because it's, it's, it's a very awkward thing in, you know, in general for a parent to be thinking of their children in a specific sexual position.
00:29:47
Speaker
who oh position come on like a a certain act I don't know if I want to know everything. my god But when it comes down to it, it's like if she really wants to talk about it, it's fine. I will listen to it. It's not, but you know, I don't get too skeeved out about that. Just pause for a moment and think,
00:30:13
Speaker
and Do I really want to know? But then it's like, okay, all right. And it's funny. It's funny too, because like, I'm trying to think of myself, like on the flip side, like how do I feel in that same sort of vein? And like, I'm not sure that there's any aspect of anything you've ever told me that's made me uncomfortable. You know? And I don't know, again, I don't know why that particularly is because like, sure, if I think back, my I really didn't get ah like sex talk from my, you know, adoptive parents. But like, you know, if I had, like, I don't feel like I would have been comfortable. mom And I think I feel uncomfortable about like, the, you know, thought of like, you know, people, people do feel weird about like, thinking about whether their parents are having sex or not, you know, people people get weird about it.
00:31:09
Speaker
yeah um And i I have a little bit of that, but like i really I really feel, and again, I've been doing some serious thinking about it today in particular, like just being like, where is that coming from? like What's the root of that? I really feel like the root of it is the religious culture.
00:31:25
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, it's possible, but it's just also like you have to just put it in context. It's like the person, you know, not me, not me necessarily, but like the person who raised me, quote unquote, raised me. And, you know, ah that I've known my whole life since I was a baby is like, you have a specific kind of relationship with that person. And then to put them in the context of being sexual is just kind of weird. And it's like, eh, I don't know if I want to imagine that at all. like Most people don't want to marry their parents in that regard. Right. And I'm like, I am full like sex positivity. like you know So it's like, sure, like if I'm aware of them or anybody in my family that's getting it, like I'm like, hell yeah, i get it. But like I'm also like, get it.
00:32:15
Speaker
elsewhere. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to smell it. Ew, come on. What That is my sense of humor right there.
00:32:38
Speaker
Oh, man. Oh, no. Okay, anyway.
Reversing Teaching Roles
00:32:44
Speaker
Welcome to Soulpod the sex hour.
00:32:50
Speaker
but Oh my god, yeah, I didn't even want it.
00:32:57
Speaker
da so yes You know, I had another i another thought about something that a friend of mine um a friend of mine recently brought to my attention and and this kind of rolls into the same thing. um we Since we don't have the traditional mother-daughter relationship,
00:33:20
Speaker
A lot of times you think of mothers, parents in general, teaching their children certain things, like certain belief systems, um specifically religious stuff. And like yes, I did pick a Mormon family for you because I was Mormon. When I was 16, I was very Mormon and I believed it was the right thing to do and all of that.
00:33:44
Speaker
And you were raised in a Mormon family, but now that we're both adults and reunited as adults, you know, first of all, I couldn't view you as my child to begin with because you, you know, you weren't, you were raised by somebody else. But as we've gotten to know each other, the one aspect of like the parent handing down belief systems and things like that to their child, it's like, been it's been turned on its head with us because you brought to me the whole concept of witchcraft and like paganism, those kinds of things. um Yeah, in that regard, the the whole concept of that has been completely reversed in that you're you're opening my eyes to a whole new way of thinking and a whole new belief system. And that I've gotten that from you and have incorporated it into my
00:34:40
Speaker
lifestyle and my, you know, belief systems and blah, blah. So that was interesting. and And, you know, the fact that my friend brought that up to me, I thought that was a good point, something to kind of show an example of how we are to each other.
Soul Pod Concept
00:34:56
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It's an interesting concept to sort of mull over really too, because, and again,
00:35:03
Speaker
I just, I keep thinking about soul pods. Um, I keep thinking about, you know, the, the way that which in which like, you know, you had said like, Hey, if, if we're in a soul pod, you know, in previous lives, we were so many other different things to each other. And, you know, like listing the only thing we can list are like traditional relationships, like mother and son or best friends or,
00:35:31
Speaker
you know, whatever. But like, here, it's like, as we have repeatedly stated, it's so hard to define. And there is, there is not, like, there are the titles that we can ascribe to each other. ah But there are not defined roles that we need to play. Right. with Like with each other, you know, and so like, to that end, it felt nothing short of natural to be able to just come to you and be like, let me teach you about this belief system that I'm figuring out myself and not have it be like, a like oh, is it weird to do that because you're my mom? Because no, like you what you know the the driving force behind even bringing it up to you was like, I knew that you needed to hear it. And it didn't matter who you were to me or how other people might view who you are to me.
00:36:30
Speaker
it mattered that it was the path that you also needed to go down. And I knew that somewhere deep in my bones. yeah so that That, you know, drove me to bring it up to you and and to weather the storm of your freaking out over it being evil to me. You know, because I was like, I know deep in my core that like it is not and therefore once she's done being like blindsided by it, she's going to hear me out, you know? um And so like being able to do that and have the confidence of like it doesn't matter that it didn't even occur to me. I'm glad that your friend pointed it out that we like flipped that on its head because it didn't even occur to me that that was a role reversal yeah effectively.
00:37:25
Speaker
yeah And in all honest honesty, like the the thing that's been pointed out to me more than once is that between my mother and I, I am the parent in our relationship and she's the child. And you know no offense to anybody who may know her who might end up listening to this at some point in the future, but it's kind of the truth. you know she never really had a real grasp on parenting or... Adulting. Adulting, yeah, in general. And so when I effectively raised myself and started to recognize that that was the case with us and enough yeah, that was, you know, but but somebody said that to me as a teenager. In church nonetheless, you church, a woman, a really nice lady,
00:38:14
Speaker
who attended church. she She said that to me one day. She was like, you're the mother. Because I mean, I think she saw that I was taking care of my brother a lot and in church, like so my parents could do their thing. um And you know what? She was right. She was right. And that that was the first time I ever heard it and not the last time. But so it's kind of funny that in our relationship, it's not like you've been the mother to me, but You know what I'm saying? It's been, it's been effectively very different than a normal mother dollar-daughter relationship in a lot of ways. And that's totally fine. I would love to have somebody be a mother to me though, at some point in my life. Cause I don't really, I can't really say that I've had that, you know? And that's, I mean, like this, I actually really should.
00:39:07
Speaker
or if you're in it right now or a list of of topics, we need to add this. The concept of re-parenting as a method of recovery from trauma yeah is so relevant to that yeah because that's something that I've been doing for myself and to like my my therapist has ah really helped me and guided me through you know during the last couple of years.
00:39:35
Speaker
to just learn how to cosmically, psychically, metaphysically, however you want to say it, or view it, fill that role for myself and give myself the things that I needed that I didn't get. um And like, I really hope that that's something that could also help you.
00:40:01
Speaker
as much as it doesn't be it it doesn't seem, it seems counterintuitive maybe to be like, I've been the parent my whole life. I don't want to be a parent again. You know, I can get that. I think that in my own ways, I have found ways to do that and maybe not as thoroughly as a therapist or a counselor could have explained it. and I don't know how to say that, but like the way that I i could have, if i had like if I learned exact methods and things like that, but I think that there were times when I definitely did take care of myself as a child, like treated myself as a child and like mothered myself or
00:40:45
Speaker
You know what I mean? So I think that there's been times that I've been been doing that, like instinctively, you know?
Engaging with Listeners
00:40:52
Speaker
yeah So and I think we pretty much hit all the um topics, all the points that we wanted to hit today. But I think, you know, like I said before, we're definitely open to questions. We welcome them, we invite them, and we'd be more than happy to make a whole other episode or at least a segment of an episode yeah dedicated to answering some questions. I would love to. you i would Honestly, like because you know we when we came up with this episode, it was really too you know we were trying to think to ourselves, like what sort of things do we feel need some explanation you know coming from ah within ourselves? I would love like external input. yeah and add to like what What is it that other people are wondering that we probably haven't thought of?
00:41:45
Speaker
um you know things that don't even occur to us. and so like i'd be I'd be really curious to know what people do want to know, and I would be ecstatic to take the opportunity to do like ah like a Q and&A episode in the future sometime. It'd be great. But yeah, this has been really good and I feel like we've we've done a great job with it. yes We're definitely running short on time.
00:42:14
Speaker
Uh, we just wanted to thank everybody again for listening. We are so grateful that you're here. And, you know, if you want to follow us, hit that follow button, please leave us a review. Uh, if you like what you're hearing, you can write us an email. Our email is soul pod, the podcast at gmail dot.com. And, uh, for ease of clarity, our Instagram is the same.
00:42:44
Speaker
at SoulPod the podcast. know You can find us there too. We're super stoked to be here and we're having a lot of fun. This has been really wonderful so far and we're really looking forward to you so many more and the discussions in the future. we We appreciate you spending your time with us and and we're you know grateful for you. So thank you. Absolutely. And until next time. Absolutely. Everybody have a beautiful day. Yeah. Love ya's.