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30. A Surrender Soapbox
18 Plays1 month ago
It’s soapbox time!
A surrendered state is challenging to achieve, but in a world where we have control over so very little of what happens to us and around us, it might just be the only thing we can do whilst still maintaining our sanity.
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Hosts: Christina Bell & Molly Wilde
Music: The Confrontation, by Jonathan Boyle, licensed from Premium Beats by Shutterstock
Editing: Molly Wilde
Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is for entertainment and enjoyment. We are not professionals in any regard. We do not have professional knowledge, training, or education in physical health, mental health, or spiritual matters. Any suggestions or recommendations made during our episodes should be independently researched by the listener before considering implementation, or better yet, listeners should ignore everything we say. We cannot be held responsible or liable for anything we say, or any actions taken by any persons as a result of listening to our podcast episodes. Stay safe, stay informed, stay smart.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Amorphous Topic of Surrender
00:00:24
Speaker
actually no let's let's let's get into it all right
00:00:34
Speaker
our topic today is a little amorphous that's an interesting term i like it i think it's a fun word um you get what i mean about it though right like It can be a lot of different things.
00:00:50
Speaker
Yeah. Well, it's like, it's a little like, uh, there's a lot of different ways to look at it and slice it probably. Yep. Yeah. So like, I figured that by suggesting that I was going to catch you a little off guard.
00:01:05
Speaker
ah hu i could be wrong if, whether I have or not. By suggesting surrender? they The topic?
Defining 'Surrendered State' with Humor
00:01:14
Speaker
We have not even announced the topic, I guess. Okay. The topic, dear listener.
00:01:21
Speaker
Christ, we're a mess. of The topic, dear listener, is a surrendered state. I just have to make a comment. Make it make the comments.
00:01:34
Speaker
And I'm going to turn off my heat. You sound so much like what's-her-face in that show. I don't know who you're talking about.
00:01:44
Speaker
I know. There are so many faces in so many shows. know. I'm trying to remember the name of the fucking show. Oh my god. The guy who comes weird.
00:01:56
Speaker
the first I don't sound like him, right? yeah No, but the show. show Tell me the name of the fucking show. you said dear listener and I'm like dear reader.
00:02:08
Speaker
so that's what made me think of that. i was like, you sound like that. Whatever from that show called where she goes, dear reader. get it. I get it. I thought you meant my voice.
00:02:20
Speaker
Was sounding like no no a person from a show? Just the way you said, dear listener. And I was like, dear reader. Okay, never mind. Lady Whistledown. Moving on.
00:02:33
Speaker
Okay, that's the other thing. You were talking about Lady Whistledown and not talking about Daphne. Yeah, no, I was... Because you said the guy that comes weird, and I'm like, well, not the guy, then I'm the girl. was my The only thing that I could remember about that show that would get you to remember what show I'm talking about.
00:02:53
Speaker
I couldn't remember any fucking characters names. I couldn't remember like any other, like the obvious things to point out about that show that would get you to remember the name of the show because it wasn't coming to me. And I was like, the only thing I can remember about that show right now in this very moment is dear reader and the guy who comes weird.
00:03:14
Speaker
Wow. Wow.
00:03:19
Speaker
wow Wow. So I apologize, but at least I got my point across. Honestly, thank you for that. I needed a giggle.
00:03:30
Speaker
I needed a giggle. um That was good. Yes. ah Oh, man. um Yeah.
00:03:41
Speaker
So anywho. are we starting over now? No. From the very beginning. We're using that. We're using that. I mean, are we reintroducing the topic because I know that all of them. You didn't.
00:03:53
Speaker
You didn't. We're using all of that. Okay.
00:03:59
Speaker
So, yeah, like that's why i um was unsure because I've not talked about it as a potential topic. I just added it to our list one day. And so like, i figured I would probably be kind of blindsiding you a little bit.
00:04:17
Speaker
um Because I don't know if you even have any thoughts on it, on the the concept, or if you even know what I'm talking about or thinking of when i refer to it.
00:04:29
Speaker
um Like when you said amorphous, I mean, I guess that's exactly spot on. If I'm, if I'm understanding the usage of that word correctly anyway, that can be applied to so many topics and can be a good thing or a bad thing. And it just depends on what you're applying it to and what, how we're, how you're using it and, you you know, in what way you're referring to surrender.
00:04:56
Speaker
So what made you think of that?
Struggles with Life and Financial Stress
00:04:59
Speaker
Well, feeling the way I've been feeling about life, lately And I mean, I was, I've been feeling it increasingly over the last few years where there's just a lot of struggle, mostly financially. And nothing is really giving.
00:05:20
Speaker
There's like no something, you know, the phrase something's got to give at some point. Like, yeah, nothing. exactly Yeah. And nothing has been giving on any front anywhere.
00:05:33
Speaker
And the only thing that I have control over is myself. Yep. And so my thought about a surrendered state is the surrender being not me giving up, but me being the thing that gives.
00:05:51
Speaker
Let it go. Let it go. I don't know the word. Those are the words. I don't but I'm just like, I don't know exactly what the harmony or whatever the fuck the melody is.
00:06:03
Speaker
All that sounds. So I'm singing it all weird, but whatever. you can cut that out too if you want. um ah My point was letting go, like letting. No, I know. Like the control aspect of like trying to control everything. Yeah. And like make things be like normal or at least tolerable and like not having the success because it literally is out of your control. Like you just have to like give into the concept of like, fuck it.
00:06:30
Speaker
I can't do anything about it. Yeah. God. That's if there was a subtitle. to the title, if I don't even know what the title this episode is going to be yet, but there was a subtitle to the subject of this episode.
00:06:43
Speaker
It would be that fuck it state. Yep. Yeah. I hear it. I hear you ya loud and clear. Yeah. So...
00:06:53
Speaker
I'm just reaching a point where I have to focus on myself. I have to focus on what I want my priorities to be, regardless of the demands that are outside of that external from me and everybody else and everything else is going to just have to get in line.
00:07:16
Speaker
That's awesome. Yeah. It's not great. It's like, it feels terrifying. I know. I know. It's awesome in theory. But I like the the thought of get in line. like Yeah.
00:07:28
Speaker
Just wait your fucking turn, bitch. Yeah.
00:07:34
Speaker
Oh, man. But you saw my Instagram post from yesterday, right? Yeah. My from last night. It was pretty. Very pretty. got all vibey.
00:07:47
Speaker
ah Well, so last night was the Leo full moon. and myself being a Leo moon, I knew that I needed to take full advantage of the energy. um And I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do with it.
00:08:04
Speaker
But i knew but like the the way I was feeling, I was like, this feels like it's going to lean into something like self-empowerment, something like self-love.
00:08:16
Speaker
And that is absolutely what it turned into. Awesome. Yeah. And like, that's just been sort of on the forefront of my mind now. Thinking through, like, I don't even know how I want to phrase this.
00:08:33
Speaker
huh Like, I feel like I've made this commitment in the past to like prioritize my own projects, my own interests, my own priorities, my own, like, what's important to me.
00:08:48
Speaker
ah feel like I've made that, it's like, quote-unquote commitment before. and it just never seems to continue to turn out that way. Well, there's but nothing wrong with, like, renewing it right?
00:09:00
Speaker
Yeah, I guess that, like, a renewal is maybe the way to think of it. But it's like, I want it, I want and need it to be something that sticks and, like, stays...
00:09:11
Speaker
Like i don't I don't sort of, you know, fade out from it. Yeah. The way that I have repeatedly in the past. And so like that's, I think, yet more so where I'm coming from here.
00:09:25
Speaker
Where it's like i'm I'm giving into what it is i know the universe wants and needs from me. and what I'm supposed to be doing, which is creative projects, which is the Leo moon, you know, energy. Uh-huh. Yeah.
00:09:40
Speaker
And that's, you know, in and large part this podcast. um But I've got other stuff going on outside of that. Right. Yeah. and And yet I don't get to prioritize them because, you know, things just fall by the wayside when life, you know, is what it is. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
00:10:08
Speaker
Yeah. And so like, it's, it's as much like a commitment to creativity again, or a recommitment or renewed commitment as it is ah realizing that I need to reshuffle my priorities.
00:10:28
Speaker
Hmm. You know, take things into consideration and not just be like, oh, like, it's just a given. Like, this is how it always has been and is always going to be. and just sort of shift things around and make the time that I get to have to myself actually become time to myself.
00:10:49
Speaker
Mm hmm. So. Yeah.
Surrender to Creativity and the Universe
00:10:52
Speaker
And, and that's like, it's, it's simultaneously a surrendered state where I'm just letting go. yeah you know, as, as much as it is like taking action in the ways and on the things that I want to take action.
00:11:10
Speaker
God, I hope that made sense. hey I just feel so intensely like, Like I'm throwing my hands up to the universe. Like, fine.
00:11:23
Speaker
If I'm supposed to live my life differently, i give in. Put the things in place. Like, you know, light the way. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:34
Speaker
And like, the way that I show the universe that I'm ready for that is by, i guess, renewing this commitment to myself and to my creativity. Yeah.
00:11:50
Speaker
ah I'm so tired. ah oh and know. God. sick and tired. know.
00:12:04
Speaker
um There was a ah European musician named Anastasia. And... I have only ever listened to her one time and it was with a friend of mine from middle school who was listening, who really liked her.
00:12:24
Speaker
and we were listening to a CD of hers or something. And she, there was a line from one of the songs that has always stuck out or stuck in my mind. Cause it's, I mean, it's probably a cliche, but like,
00:12:42
Speaker
You know, it and made an impression on my 13-year-old brain. Hmm. Where the line that of the song was just, I'm sick and tired of always being sick and tired.
00:12:56
Speaker
Yeah. And that is i like, I have never felt more that in my life than I do right now. I get it. We making changes up in this bitch.
00:13:09
Speaker
Hmm. Not to the podcast specifically, but to our lives, which will hopefully positively impact the podcast. True. That's what we're aiming for anyway.
00:13:21
Speaker
h
00:13:24
Speaker
I don't really know what I can add to this. um Not really in a place where I can surrender to much at this moment. i think I would argue you could.
00:13:37
Speaker
I would argue you could. I don't know what. It's because it's it's less about what you can actually release from your life literally in more about shifting your mentality around the things that have been bogging you down in life.
00:13:57
Speaker
ah You want to elaborate?
00:14:02
Speaker
Well, I worry about getting into too much detail. Yeah. I don't know what I can surrender on. Like, I mean, right now it just, I feel like I have fights coming from ah many angles and like, I can't really just surrender and the fights I'm in.
00:14:21
Speaker
Like I have to deal with the things that are going on and and I have to, have you know,
00:14:28
Speaker
I don't know how to describe it I have to handle them. I have to take care of them. I cannot, like, step away and ignore things. Well, that's not what surrendering center but the but that that's not what surrendering means.
00:14:43
Speaker
Well, then how you how would you explain it, then, in my case, then? Like, what am I supposed to surrender to It's, well, okay, so
00:14:54
Speaker
I can't remember how many episodes ago it was now, but we talked about a mindset shift. Mm-hmm. And like, I think that is where it happens. And it's very, it's God, it's so amorphous.
00:15:09
Speaker
well It's amorphous, but like, I'm trying to think. Cause it's like, it's, I know that you can, it's just, I don't know how to describe how to shift your mindset.
00:15:21
Speaker
I don't think I have a bad mindset about it. It's not, it's not about good or bad. It's not that it's like, there's like, the tense mindset around everything going on. And then there's the surrendered mindset around everything going on.
00:15:36
Speaker
Okay. But the fact that I have ADHD and um bad at, um, already bad at like, organizing things and or in and and but um but so do i and all of that why that's the stuff that overwhelms me is because i feel like all these things are going on all at once and I can't always like separate them or organize them in a way that make that makes me feel less overwhelmed so that's when those moments come in for me where I'm just feeling like
00:16:09
Speaker
fuck, I just have too much going on right now. And I just want everyone to leave me alone, you know, and I can't do that. yeah Okay. So here's, here's something relevant.
00:16:23
Speaker
um
00:16:25
Speaker
The song that I attached to the Instagram post that I posted last night. I don't know if you listened to it or if you just looked at the pictures, but I don't know. can't remember right now.
00:16:37
Speaker
It's a song by Dochi called Bloom. Oh, okay. i I remember seeing the name, so I think I probably heard it, but I don't i i don't remember it right now. So the beginning of the song starts with an audio clip of a conversation, assumingly between Dochi and an older, wiser person.
00:16:57
Speaker
Okay. And this I intentionally included this part of the song, but in the, you know, the clip that could be heard while I like during on the post, because it reflects how I feel.
00:17:12
Speaker
And it's where she's talking about how she feels like she's always neglecting some part of her life. And the person that she's talking to responds with, there's only 24 hours in a day.
00:17:26
Speaker
and you can only do what you can do. And you You know, the only thing like the the best that you can do is wake up and do what you can and go to bed.
00:17:37
Speaker
And that to me is a surrendered state. That's interesting because I wouldn't have thought of it that way. i mean, i think it's again, because it's amorphous. I think that's one take on a surrendered state. And I don't think that it's a blanket like everybody yeah would agree with me when I say that. But like that is how i am internalizing it right now, you know.
00:17:58
Speaker
Where it's like, I can only do what I can do And for the things that I do have control over, I'm going to make more priority or make it a priority to take more care of myself or better care of myself and to take more time for my creative projects.
00:18:16
Speaker
But like, at the end of the day I'm no longer going to get caught up in like, oh God, I didn't have time to get all this done today. Or, oh God, I'm overdue trying to get this thing done.
00:18:28
Speaker
Like, I'm just going to be like, I can only do what I can do.
00:18:33
Speaker
That's how I have been past, like three weeks since I've had my car accident. Right. Like there's always something new coming up that I have to do for somebody with this, you know, situation.
00:18:49
Speaker
And i was neglecting my own stuff for, for a little too long and like not getting my own insurance situation figured
Managing Practical Life Challenges
00:18:58
Speaker
out, bait you know, for like the emergency room visit and the CAT scan and all that stuff. Like I already got a bill from the emergency room personally, like billed with no insurance attached, you know, no, no insurance payment.
00:19:13
Speaker
And the so I finally got through to my insurance yesterday And figured out some stuff. But, um, in it and it's, and it's nothing bad, but it's just like, I started to stress out because I'm like, now I'm receiving bills because the insurance hasn't been paying anything yet and stuff.
00:19:33
Speaker
But right. But also like, you don't have to pay anything on those bills until the insurance applies first. Right. And so like, there's no reason to then let the bills starting to show up be a thing that stresses you out.
00:19:48
Speaker
No, it's just starting to it just put a little bit more urgency on it. Like I need to make sure this gets handled because if I let it go too long, then I'm going to start having collections and shit like that, that I don't need to deal with. You know what i mean?
00:20:02
Speaker
So it just helped me push in, like push help. Okay. Make sure I stopped and took care of myself and my own things first, like yesterday, you know, instead of like other people's shit.
00:20:17
Speaker
So yeah. It's like, i i I'm really, and this is, I don't want to, I don't want this to sound like I'm trying to cop out here, but like, like there's really too many details that I would need to get into with you to get you out of the details that I don't think belong on this podcast right now.
00:20:40
Speaker
If that makes sense. So yeah. so Well, all I'm trying to say is, is that with the many multitude of tasks that I've had to take on over the last few weeks, I have gotten to the point in my mind where it's like, okay, I'm taking care of the most important ones each day.
00:21:00
Speaker
and like certain ones keep getting pushed back and pushed back and pushed back. And like, that's okay but there's going to be a point where the ones that I've been pushing back are now like urgent and have to be handled immediately so like I'm trying to prioritize like what's most important each day to do yeah and yeah being okay with letting the rest of them wait yeah yeah like I'm okay with it but there will be a point where I have to like Now I have to ignore and you and and whatever in order to take care of these things. I have to take care of like right now, because there's no more waiting. Like I can't keep pushing them back, you know?
00:21:41
Speaker
Okay. But yeah, what I'm trying to say is that like, you know, it's, I don't know. i I give up.
00:21:53
Speaker
Is it because I'm too, ah complicated here no it's because i don't want to get into details like i want to talk about this with you but i don't want to get into details on recording okay and like i but i'm trying to explain to you the way that i'm trying to like zoom out to be able to explain the mindset thing because it's like you Having, you know, i don't want I really don't want this to sound like inconsiderate or, or insensitive, but like, while all of your overwhelm and your constant stress is extraordinarily valid, you can also choose to stop stressing.
00:22:37
Speaker
i I don't, I'm not stressed. I don't, I don't, i don't, I don't want you to argue back or defend or Or say that I'm wrong about any of this. What I'm trying to say. Like you you are stressed a lot constantly.
00:22:51
Speaker
You have way worse anxiety than I do. on In a chronic constant way. But like you remember the day that you just hit a like complete like fuck it I don't care anymore point.
00:23:05
Speaker
Like a year or two probably been a couple of times. Yeah. I remember a specific day. Mm-hmm. But you hit it because you went so far into overstressed territory that you couldn't take it anymore.
00:23:22
Speaker
What I'm saying is there's a, there's a way to healthily hit that state. Okay. And it is by choosing not to let any of it affect you anymore.
00:23:35
Speaker
Like understand that, like you have to take precedence, set boundaries with people And then you'll start to be able to surrender and allow the choosing of setting boundaries to also be a part of that surrender, that shift of mindset.
00:23:54
Speaker
It's really fucking hard to do. and and it's ah it's one of those like you don't know it till you know it type of things. But when you know it, you can't unknow Like, no, the responsibilities don't just go away, but you don't have to feel so fucking awful about them all the time.
00:24:13
Speaker
You know, there are people with just as busy of lives as you, if not more busy, who have just sort of let go of the reins. And letting go of the reins doesn't mean letting go of control and letting chaos take over and letting responsibilities fall by the wayside and like, you know, fucking up a lot of things.
00:24:37
Speaker
It just means and so letting things be what they are and just remove your emotional attachment to them. Maybe that's the big thing. Maybe that's the like real actual definition is removing your emotional attachment to outcomes.
00:24:50
Speaker
huh Because you have like as much as you probably don't even want to you have like intense emotional attachments to every outcome of every or every possible outcome of everything that happens in your life because that's what causes stress.
00:25:07
Speaker
Okay. I mean, not saying you're wrong. I'm just trying to like let what you said kind of incorporate itself into like my mind space and like the daily, you know,
00:25:23
Speaker
Yeah. Thoughts and activities and like, how, how do I do that? You know? i mean, like, I feel like I was getting at it a little earlier today too, where I was trying to say to you, like, you have more control over things than you think you do.
00:25:38
Speaker
And, you know, where you can like call the people that you're, you haven't heard from and that you can get like answers to your questions or at least get updates.
00:25:51
Speaker
Mm-hmm. You have every right to ask for those things of people. Right. You have every right to advocate for yourself in situations where, you know, the person that you're advocating to is going to be a rational person.
00:26:08
Speaker
But I think that like, I might've come to the really the better the point or the better like description of a surrendered state being ah relinquishing emotional attachments to outcomes.
00:26:21
Speaker
Yeah. And that's like, it's, that's like ah an extension of the, you can only do what you can do. van It's like, you'll do what you need to do, or you'll do what falls on your lap to have to handle.
00:26:38
Speaker
But like, if something falls through the cracks, that doesn't mean that you failed. It just is what it is.
Mindset Shifts and Emotional Release
00:26:45
Speaker
Yeah. Let things be what they are. And it's like, whether or not that means that you end up becoming a more productive, organized person is not relevant to the question. What's more important is whether this mindset shift turns you into a happier person.
00:27:06
Speaker
You can stay the most ADHD disorganized person on planet earth. And as long as you're happier, you've made the right choice.
00:27:19
Speaker
And I think that like lately, I personally feel like I've gotten better art releasing emotional attachments to outcomes at work, specifically.
00:27:31
Speaker
But that's more so to do with like releasing emotional attachments to the way that people react to me in emails and stuff, or or things that are like outside of my control. And I think what's gotten harder has become you know, releasing emotional attachments to my ability to do my job when so many constraints have been put on me.
00:27:57
Speaker
But the thing that I have to keep almost like clinging to is like
00:28:08
Speaker
malicious compliance. Yeah. Yeah. Where it's like, you've given me all these restraints and this is all that I can get done within those constraints. So you can, you know, deal with the result of that.
00:28:23
Speaker
Right. Because I'm not going to. Right. It will very literally kill me to continue to care about needing to do better, do more within less time and less resources.
00:28:40
Speaker
Yep. And it applies within this context, but I would personally also say it's worth considering how that can be applied in other areas of your life.
00:28:56
Speaker
So I know that I deserve better and I know you deserve better. Well, all I keep thinking about as one day I'll get there.
00:29:08
Speaker
One day, all these extraneous stresses are going to be gone. But also, you deserve to be happy before that day. Yeah, I agree. Yeah.
00:29:21
Speaker
sorry i said mean that makes sense i know i hit i muted myself accidentally while i was talking you know i saw you make the face and i didn't even realize that you had said something additional boom um it's it not only makes sense though it it's like it's got to become your your truth At some point, because at at this point, like, i don't feel like it's still your truth yet.
00:29:49
Speaker
um It's still something that you are digesting. Because, again, it's like there's like knowing and then there's knowing. Yeah. Something.
00:30:01
Speaker
I think because there's just so many responsibilities that I have to handle. Yeah. I don't have a lot of time just sit and focus on myself.
00:30:14
Speaker
Like I don't have that luxury right now. But that's, but, but I think that you're missing my point is that you don't necessarily have to have the time to sit and focus on yourself.
00:30:28
Speaker
It's that you can be happy and still have the responsibilities you have. But it's like, there's like a level of tension to your, entire being that you may not even be aware of because you've been in it so long.
00:30:49
Speaker
Because it makes sense there was no reason to come across like you were yelling at me today. was like, there's like a hundred other ways to express what you were trying to express that didn't need to result in you getting stressed out and sounding like you're yelling.
00:31:11
Speaker
And it's, it became overwhelmed in that moment. I was, well, right. But it's like, didn't know how else to express myself, but it's like, but it's like, that doesn't have to be a thing that overwhelms you is what I'm trying to say. There's a lot that overwhelms you and you're so on the edge of being overwhelmed all the time. That doesn't have to be that way.
00:31:34
Speaker
And it doesn't mean that you, get to, or it doesn't mean that you're just, you know, you've got to like shirk responsibilities and like drop stuff intentionally to get to that place.
00:31:47
Speaker
That's what I'm saying. Like, that's where the mindset shift comes in. You don't have to be on the edge of overwhelm constantly. and I think I'm also coming from a place of like understanding, like you don't have to feel the way you feel. you think you're fine because you've been in it so long.
00:32:03
Speaker
You think you're generally okay, but Being on the outside, I can tell that you're not objectively and that things are too much objectively, but also that you're like emotional attachment to them is more than it needs to be because you don't, no one on earth has as much control as you feel like you need in order for things to go. Okay.
00:32:30
Speaker
It's just like, it does that's not how anything works, you know? And so like relinquishing control and relinquishing the attachment to how things play out is the only way that you can continue on not feel as tense and, you know, stressed and overwhelmed miserable, but still, still do the things you got to do.
00:32:57
Speaker
i think emotional attachments, or I don't know what responses maybe that I have to the situations or my life are like mostly out of frustration because i i should be getting more help from John or whoever with things that I'm getting. Like I don't get help from people in general, like, right.
00:33:23
Speaker
I wish I could, or other people do get, or, you know, whatever. Yeah. And that is frustrating me. And like, that also adds to the, what looks like stress and anger and whatever else. Yeah, and absolutely. But that also is a should where we say don't should on yourself.
00:33:43
Speaker
Like, don't should on the situations and also relatedly, let things be what they are. You know, like, just because you have emotional attachments to outcomes of things or or the circumstances, like, you you you absolutely...
00:34:01
Speaker
can and should have emotions about things because that's what makes a human, a human like, but releasing the emotional attachment to outcomes is different than that.
00:34:17
Speaker
You know, you can have compassion without needing to dive in and be the solution all the time.
00:34:29
Speaker
You can have empathy with, without diving in and being the solution all the time. Especially when it's to your detriment. No, that makes sense. And that's, I don't know, that's where the conversation comes back to boundaries, but
00:34:44
Speaker
I don't feel like I can rehash that anyway. I'm just trying to deal with my shit, you know? and I'm trying to get through it. there's There's always going to be a form of some kind of bullshit that I'm going to be dealing with, but I just want to I just got to deal with them. You know, I just got to do it.
00:35:05
Speaker
That's all there is to it I'm not trying to shirk my responsibilities. And I, I mean, as for. But like, I didn't say to shirk your responsibilities. I know you didn't. I'm just, that's just part of my thinking process. Like I can't just stop in the middle of everything that's going on and like walk away from shit.
00:35:24
Speaker
ah I mean, you could. Well, to my own detriment. Right. I mean. how many people would I piss off if I just turned my back on people and like walked away? Well, I can't afford to lose friends. Is that theirs?
00:35:39
Speaker
I can't afford to lose friends. I mean, I don't have that many to begin with, so. I don't see.
00:35:48
Speaker
i don't know. Again, I'm a heartless bitch. but I think you can, and you can afford to lose friends if they're not really being good friends to begin with.
Navigating Relationships and Future Plans
00:36:00
Speaker
absolutely and if they and and in your specific case if you have to walk away a good friend would understand you need to take time for yourself alternately a good friend would offer as much support as they possibly could right to you i get everything that you ever give to anybody else you deserve back to you tenfold well ah but you don't get it i don't and and that's why i'm saying like Can you not afford to lose friends? I think you could.
00:36:33
Speaker
If you're not getting that from the friends that you have. Anyway.
00:36:40
Speaker
what was that? They're bowling above me. Oh
00:36:46
Speaker
my god. Yeah, didn't you know it's a bowling alley up there? thats
00:36:52
Speaker
Living room bowling. Or whatever. Oh god. Oh, to quote the Lady Whistledown, Dear reader, i hope that these made these things made sense.
00:37:08
Speaker
But this episode, i don't even know what this episode is.
00:37:15
Speaker
It could just, you could literally just cut out the parts that you specifically referenced me or something in my life and just make it a monologue of like, this is my, these are my thoughts for the day. It's going to be the opposite of of Tuesday where everybody else was talking. and I was like, this is great. I don't have to listen to my stupid voice when I edit.
00:37:36
Speaker
And now i have to cut out everything that's not my voice and only listen to my voice. Oh God, I'm going to be in hell. up oh surrender surrender this has been are very incoherent takes on surrender
00:38:03
Speaker
and Maybe someday we'll have a better grasp on what it is we're trying to say.
00:38:13
Speaker
And we'll try again. my God. Christ. oh But until that time, please join us next week and join us on Patreon when we decide that we're doing a Patreon because we've basically decided, but we just got to do it.
00:38:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:33
Speaker
So we'll be making announcements once there's more firm plans in place. But ah Patreon is looking like it's going to be a thing. And so that'll be fun. ah We're going to have a great time. Yeah.
00:38:47
Speaker
Yeah. Me of so little words. Me of too many words. I've just been nodding my head and saying, yo yep, yep. Oh, no.
00:38:59
Speaker
Oh, no. Damn it.