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A Wise Man Prepares for Danger While the Fool Denies It
63 Plays4 months ago
In this episode Patrick and Andrew are joined by Brett Cain to discuss self defense, preparedness, the responsibilities of fatherhood, martial arts, and the fine line between preparation and paranoia.
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Transcript
Introduction & Theme of the Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
and the brave new world begins when all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins as surely as water will wet us as surely as fire will burn the gods of the coffee book headings with terror and slaughter return
00:00:28
Speaker
Hello everybody. And thank you for joining us for another episode of the copybook headings podcast. If you're a new listener, just joining us for the first time. This show is inspired by the poem by Rudyard Kipling called the gods of the copybook headings. And every week we take an old saying proverb or maxim and we break it down to see what we can learn from it and see if there's any ancient wisdom that's still relevant today.
Meet the Hosts and Guest
00:00:46
Speaker
I'm your host Patrick Payne. And with me as always is my co-host Andrew Stevens. Andrew, how are you doing? Hey, I'm doing great. I'm a great man. Yeah, me too. good Because, because why? got have with us Yes, we do. Joining us is Brett Kane. Brett, how are you, sir? I am fantastic. Super happy to be here. Thank you both so much. Yeah, it's it's the pleasure is ours for real. I'm very excited to have you and ah and very excited to chat with you. you For um anyone who kind of runs in our circle,
00:01:20
Speaker
You know, Brett needs no introduction. Like you're ah you're a legend among our among our group of friends. If you don't know who Brett is, um can you maybe take a minute to tell tell our tell our dear listeners a little bit about yourself?
Understanding Wisdom: Proverbs in Modern Context
00:01:33
Speaker
You know, it's that's always a ah hard question, especially job interviews or something like this. um But I like to think of myself as a knight errant in rusty armor on an old sway-backed horse that's just, you know, limping along, trying to do my best. but
00:01:57
Speaker
um, you know, there's a great uh, I don't know if you if you guys have ever read charles dickens, but ah He describes in his book great expectations, which is one of my favorite um, he describes uh, so it's it's from the main character is pip and his uncle joe gargery, uh, he describes him as a sort of hercules in both strength and weakness and I like that descriptor but ah Long and short of it. Husband, father. I wrote some books. and I love people. And yeah, just ah just a regular internet guy.
00:02:40
Speaker
Yeah, that was the best introduction. You're like, I don't know what to say. And then you go on this ah beautiful soliloquy describing like yourself in a very poetic form. So yeah, that was awesome. Yeah. Brett's a great guy, written some books. um ah just an interesting just ah Just an interesting guy and and one of the best guys we know. So we figured we'd have him on to discuss to discuss a cool proverb. So um let me pull it up. This is one that I had selected that I thought would be an appropriate one to chat with Brett about. um And it is a wise man prepares for danger while the fool denies it um Now I threw this one at you Brett and you you liked it and we decided to to run with it I part of the reason I wanted to ah Pick this one for you is because I've I've heard you you know online and talk about various things and in your your martial arts journey and that sort of thing and so you're kind of the you seem like a very much the the prototypical kind of protector type of type of um
00:03:40
Speaker
ah archetype, you know? And so I thought that would be a good person to discuss this with. um What did you think about the proverb when I first gave it to you? You know, I loved it and and and thank you for that. i i do I do love to fight. I do like i do like that. um And, you know, definitely some similarities to the the Bible, Proverbs 27, 12. So i I
Personal Experiences with Preparedness
00:04:08
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liked that. and And really it's so applicable and not not just, you know, physical
00:04:14
Speaker
violence and and danger but that's also really important to prepare for but just anything I thought it's like okay what what does that apply to me you know if if you prepare for danger and and you're actively looking for threats you're going to be in such a better position yeah and it's it's almost You know, like, uh, like a prey animal or a child to deny it, you know, it's like, Oh, if I covered my head, if I stick my head under the covers or in the ground, they can't see me. They can. It's like, Oh, there's, there's no danger. Like, you know, it's, it's easy to be dismissive. Um.
00:04:59
Speaker
of potential threats like oh there's no bears out here so I just got back from a young men's camp for my church and the previous week they had had a young women's camp and there was a very aggressive bear that had ah come into camp and they actually had to to leave a day early because of this bear threat. um Fortunately, you were we were prepared, but people say, oh, that you know there's no bears. We never see bears around here. Oh, no, that never happens here. yeah there's There's never a terrorist attack here. There's never you know robberies here. We leave our doors unlocked. All all these things, um yeah it it ends up looking pretty foolish. Yeah, i'm i'm I'm glad you said that. I had an experience recently ah just the other day. I took my kids to the park.
00:05:48
Speaker
And um you know I'm licensed to carry a firearm. i I've been been had my concealed weapons permit for a long time. And and I live in the safest little town. It's like 900 people. you know Everybody knows each other. Everybody locks their doors. and I decided to carry my firearm, even though part of me was like, why are you doing this? you know Nothing's ever bad is going to happen. And we get to the park and a moose comes into the park and starts running around. And like all the kids freak out and start to run and scream. And I didn't have to shoot the moose. you know But I'm like, what if I did? What if it was like between you know between me and my kid or something happens? but You don't expect a moose to come run into the park. Even a safe town, things things can happen. And having having a tool on me that could potentially
00:06:32
Speaker
you know um deal with that threat was, I was glad I had it just because because ah because of that situation. but But yeah, I totally agree. I wanted to kind of throw it over to Andrew. Andrew, ah what are your thoughts on them on the proverb when I threw your way? Yeah, this is a good one. it
00:06:51
Speaker
it's kind of it's kind of a sifter of people right how you react to to things but but a lot of it can be I think what what I've seen you um talk about like especially with some of your videos Brett that you've done in the past like it is something you can train for it is something you can train your mind for um to to look out for for danger to look for threats um but I was wondering though what you think about I think the average person now has seen way more danger and violence real, not just portrayed in movies, but like real videos more than anyone would have ever seen, you know, 100 years ago, except and unless you're in a war or something, you see way more violence now just getting online. and And I think, you know, that definitely
00:07:39
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makes people feel like that's a movie, that it can't happen to them, that any bad stuff is not in the real life because it's not happening to them right in front of their, like, immediately. Like, do you think, um do you think that's doing people a disservice? Do you think that's um something that we need to to overcome or or do you think it's actually helpful? Yeah, wow, that's that's a good question and and what ah a crazy experience with that moose patrick. That's that's not something i'm glad you work here and just in case Yeah, but um andrew. Yeah, that's that's a really good question. I my knee-jerk reaction Which can sometimes be good and sometimes be bad is is that it is a disservice I I do think
00:08:27
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As a society we are getting more and more desensitized to violence Which doesn't do us any favors in terms of of preparing for danger You know, we we see this all all the time uh, especially online people say hey, I don't want to see that video of Yeah, this person being brutally murdered or mauled by an animal or set on fire or what whatever it is um because just by the the totality of of all of these different videos and and it does seem like a movie and there is that disconnect. you know people People don't think about it. They see it on a CCTV video and they forget.
00:09:12
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Now, it it can be good for training purposes, but if it's just for someone's hot take or just to um be reactionary, I don't think it's helpful.
Balancing Preparedness and Fear
00:09:24
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That's a good point too, that you know even people and in ancient times, you know a short of warfare really weren't exposed to this much violence. um I don't know if you guys have ever seen the ah the television program, The Simpsons, but there's an episode where ah they're doing kind of a spin on the Grimm's fairy tales and Bart, you know, the the little boy, he's sitting in front of the fire and one of the pine knots explodes and he laughs. And his mom is like, I don't want you watching that fire. It's too violent. It's like a television. um
00:10:00
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Yeah. And it's a really, really fine edge of fear mongering and being prepared. And I think you have to walk that every day, ah even in terms of of the shoes you wear. yeah i I won't wear flip-flops yeah because i I can't run, I can't fight in flip-flops. um You know, I, I over-prepare, you know, in terms of first aid, uh, I always think, man, what if, what if I need, you know, seven knives? Like I always try to have like an extra knife and in my pocket or in my car and yeah. Hey, I need a car gun. I need, you know, a belt gun. I need a backup, you know, and all these things. And, and you can, can perhaps over-prepare, but really just thinking it's like, okay, what would I do? And you almost have to war game these situations in your mind. Like, how would I react?
00:10:55
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um Yeah, that that's a really good question. I don't know if that's a good answer, but that that was the first thing I thought. That's a good answer. I yeah ah thought it was a good answer. I like the concept of walking the fine line because it it's easy to, like you mentioned, kind of stick your head in the sand for a lot of people and just be like, look, danger. It's too much to think about. But then it's also, I mean, you can go too far with it. You can be like, I don't want to leave my house. you know I'm not going to go do something fun with my family because you know I'm not able to watch all the exits. It's like, come on, man. like you got You got to live your life and you got you got to do things. And and it's it's certainly possible to,
00:11:31
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drift from the area of preparedness into paranoia. And so we all kind of have to be kind of figure out what what that what that line is for us and where our situation is. and And the people who depend on us, that's a big thing as as husbands and fathers. ah That's a responsibility I think that all of us have.
00:11:49
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Absolutely. You know, it's it's funny because I was thinking, you know, I mean, I don't know how often you you had game planned in your mind. Like, man, what do I do if a moose shows up at the park? you never It's not really not saying you can't prepare for every eventuality, but you just, you develop that, that reflex of, okay, how do I lean into danger? So a couple weeks ago, ah so we live in Northern California, we went down to the Bay Area um to see and one of my favorite authors and do a book signing and we stopped at the beach and we're out there.
00:12:23
Speaker
My daughter and I are in the waves. yeah I love the water, so I'm out there a little bit further. I'm catching crabs. you know With my bare hands, we see ah um a little like harbor-type seal. And then I turn around and and not 10 yards from me, this huge ah stellar sea lion just like breaks the surface and and like just goes by. you know they're They're usually not super dangerous, but I'm like, man, that's That's a big animal. Like what would I do if this thing had been aggressive? Yeah. ah You know, so you you just have to think about this and and you have to put yourself in situations and then afterwards you have to evaluate, okay, how did I do here?
00:13:07
Speaker
you know, if you're out in public, was I on my phone too much? Was I doing that 45 degree syndrome? And you'll see it. And if you start looking for it, like today in the supermarket, someone comes around a corner and almost bumps into me and they're, cause they're looking down at their phone and I step around and said, Oh, sorry, excuse me. No response. And they just kept going like a drone.
Training for Realistic Threat Scenarios
00:13:29
Speaker
And I think that that is, is the biggest disservice that um yeah going back to to the question earlier, Andrew, is people being ah chronically plugged into their devices, and they they think things are like a video game or or whatever, and they're not prepared. they They get the sense of preparedness because they're like, oh man, I would totally
00:13:54
Speaker
You know handle any situation yeah cuz they're watching on their phone but then when the situation comes up. First thing they pull out is their phone instead of you know some sort of tool or instead of you know open handed skills. Yeah, yeah, that first thing is is to to start video, ah start recording what they're seeing.
00:14:16
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's pretty amazing, especially when it's with something that's, I mean, it's it's one thing when you see people recording a fight that they're not in. or something, but when it's like, oh, it's a bear, or it's, it's a tsunami, you know, like just where where the instinct really should be, okay, we got to get out of here, you know, yeah or, or we got to prepare, at least prepare to ah address this danger. But no, it's just, I'm gonna watch the screen, you know, watch, put the screen between me and, and reality, right?
00:14:50
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And you'll even see that like at the Grand Canyon or a sunset. And i'm I'm not, you know, trying to dog on anyone who takes a photo or a video, but imagine during the Revolutionary War, if you had someone and instead of, you know, their musket, they'd be like, Oh man, check this out. You know, I'm, I'm crossing the Delaware right now. You know, it's like, Hey, shut up, you know, in battle. yeah i Yeah, it's funny you mentioned like people not knowing, you know, thinking they're more capable than they are. It's always important, I think, to put yourself in a situation to test yourself a little bit, to to get a little bit of realistic training, just to kind of give yourself a no BS assessment of of where your skills really lie. And and you'll be usually shocked at how deficient you are, right? Like anyone who's trained in martial arts knows, man, I suck a lot more than I thought I did. I was just the other day, I was at jujitsu, and I've been doing jujitsu about
00:15:43
Speaker
two, two and a half years. so And there's this kid who's like no stripes on his white belt. He's new. He's two, three weeks in. And I'm like, I'll roll with this kid. And they're like, yeah, yeah. You can roll with that. to The coach is like, roll with Patrick. he's He's a good guy to roll with. He's going to take it easy on. He's not going to you know be spazzy or hurt you or anything. So he's a good guy to start start you with. And this kid was an athlete. I think he'd wrestle a little bit. he he would He gave me all I could handle. And like I was like, dang, bro. You forget, there's just these athletic freaks out there. you know i'm like um you know I was able to kind of get a get a tap. But I was like, dang. and I had to work for it. I was like kind of surprised at how well this kid was doing just because of his physical abilities and maybe some of his previous experience. I don't know. But it's it's good to test yourself because it it'll humble you.
00:16:29
Speaker
Yep, absolutely. And you know, it's funny. So, um, I'm, uh, in the hiring process with the California highway patrol and every week we go to the academy to do a workout and there are some fit people who go there, but they're not used to being yelled at, you know, while they're working out and you have to stand at attention and they have to go really quick and you can't let your knees touch the ground. And then you're doing all these things. And so your adrenaline's pumping, you know, you're moving. And they make you do a ton of reps, and you never know like how many reps you're doing. And when people start struggling, the instructors, you know it's it's paramilitary. They're they're yelling you at you more. And they say, hey, every rep is a punch to the face. And and that's the idea. And you're you're dealing with suspects who are on drugs or something. Yeah, and then like you said, the people who just have different physicalities than you, even if you're highly trained,
00:17:24
Speaker
It's going to be a ah tough situation. um Yeah, that's a that's a cool experience and i'm i'm glad you're training jujitsu andra you you've got some some marshal prowess as well, right? His marshal prowess is is enormous. but Yes. Yeah, just genetics. That's that's the blessing. No, no, I uh i am getting I'm getting into shape here, um but but that I think I found a place that that Patrick says is pretty good locally here, so I might i might try Jiu-Jitsu out here in the and the future.
00:17:57
Speaker
Yeah. Well, with your size, man, like if you had some training to that size, just you're unstoppable for real. Seriously. Like you got a guy you his size with two stripes on a white belt. I'm like, Oh, that's scary. Like you don't have to get up that high to be like, dang, like he's a problem.
00:18:15
Speaker
You know, so i I know I keep referencing ah books and stuff. So, well, this is the, you know, copybook heading podcast. So I think that you'll, you'll forgive me. Yeah, but there's a book by ah Lee Child, the Jack Reacher series, and and I've always loved that
Inspiration from Fiction and Writing
00:18:35
Speaker
series. and And in one of the books, and this won't be a spoiler for anyone who hasn't read them yet or or seen the movies or the television series. ah But there's a part where Jack Reacher is ah talking to someone who's looking through his his old army file, and they find a file on him from when he was 10 years old and say, well, why why would there be anything on a child? Because he grew up on military bases.
00:19:07
Speaker
And it was ah it was an experiment that was being conducted where they had all these kids on this army base watch this scary movie where this this monster comes out. and
00:19:20
Speaker
Jack Reacher's character even at 10 years old when the monster shows up all the all the kids leaned back and screamed and he stood up and was leaning forward and had pulled out a pocket knife and was like charging the screen and and did that and I said like this so that was kind of a cool thing those books have been ah very inspirational for me it's like okay how can I in instinctively lean into danger um You know and and just putting yourself out there and obviously You have to be safe. I mean we see a lot of good Samaritans out there, you know going back to those videos We see good Samaritans all the time. They try to intervene uh, and The bad guy escalates it beyond what a normal person would and they weren't prepared for that
00:20:07
Speaker
And I think that's the big thing is understanding like you'll have some people there who will will be, uh, you know, merciless and cruel and violent in ways that you can't even imagine. And you have to imagine them to some degree or else you're going to be the first to die. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with that. um was i got ah go ahead, Andrew. Since you had mentioned ah Jack Reacher books,
00:20:41
Speaker
um yeah Your books are in that vein, right? That the action thriller vein and going back to what what Patrick said ah earlier about, you know, game planning situations. Is that where you get your ideas from for your books and the situations from your like real life game planning when you're out and about? Is that what is is in your books? Yeah, that's it. That's a good question. Thank you for for referencing my books. Yeah, I like to go through. It's like, okay, you know, here's a scenario.
00:21:13
Speaker
what What would I do? Or what what could potentially happen here? And how does that work out? um Some of the scenarios, you know or at least some of the the outcomes have been fights that I've been in. And then obviously um made a little bit more theatrical and for for the for the page. um But yeah, I figure I it was like, okay, what would happen here? Okay, then you do this, then you do that. And it doesn't have to be formulaic, but you just have to understand, okay, how quickly can I, you know, run a hundred yards or how quickly could I take off this hoodie to use as, you know, kind of a, a net if someone had a knife, you know, even when I'm out walking with my wife and daughter.
00:22:08
Speaker
I always try and have them play strategically. um yeah If we're in a bad situation, you I say, hey, I need you to stand on my left because I'm right handed and I want to have a ah clear field of fire. um And ah you know it's it's just things like that. I remember early on in my marriage, our daughter was born very recently and we thought, hey, we'll just go for a little walk around the lake. And it it was fairly late at night. um Yeah, and and I i was caring. Fortunately, I didn't need to have anything. we had There was some and I think it's gotten worse. There's more and more dangerous people out there. um So you just have to be safe. You just have to be smart. You don't have to be paranoid, but you have to be looking around. And I think as soon as people get off their phones for a little bit um and turn it into an exercise, that's what I try and do with with my books um is like, OK, how can I
00:23:06
Speaker
Be more glued in and it it can be fun too. You know people like to people watch all the time It's a common thing or just try and read lips or overhear conversations Or the more look at different things and you're gonna miss it, you know if you're You know texting or just you know mindlessly scrolling through and obviously, you know i'm not saying you need to destroy your phones, um but at least when you're out in public, you you don't have much excuse to be looking down at your phone when you're standing in line or you're walking down the aisle because otherwise you are going to miss some things.
00:23:43
Speaker
Yeah, i I love that. i I've recently ah just deleted all the social media apps off my phone. And if I want to get on, I have to go on my computer, you know, I found that to be really helpful to kind of keep me so it's not such a temptation in my pocket on board, I'm going to scroll for 30 seconds, there's really no benefit or reason for that. So that's kind of helped me. um But yeah, I i love it. What? Can you tell us a little bit more about your books? Like, what what are they called? And where can people find them? And what are they about? Yeah, Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. So ah my my books, they're the Frank Sawyer mystery series. So yeah, the the action, thriller, adventure type story. It's it's about a young man, a returned missionary who ends up you know in ah some pretty hairy situations and he just wants to do the right thing.
00:24:33
Speaker
And yeah part of the right thing sometimes it involves throwing a punch, getting involved, sticking your nose where it doesn't necessarily belong, um and and just being outspoken. yeah you know And so that's that's his thing.
Steps to Become More Prepared
00:24:47
Speaker
He wants to um he wants to get involved. ah He doesn't want to sit quietly. So you can find him there ah on Amazon. ah There's some audio versions as well of the first two. um They're on the Deseret Bookshelf app as well. um You can find them at Nauvoo Supply Company. and That's my current publisher, so we've got three volumes out right now. I'm working on number four. You don't have to read the first two in order, but if you want to read the third, yeah you should have read the the second, but you can kind of you can start in the middle.
00:25:20
Speaker
um Yeah, there's there's some good stuff. I try and make them action packed, but clean. My first publisher for some reason marketed them as romance, which is not the genre that they are at all. you know there There is a ah love interest, but the main thing is fighting. I was really inspired by Louis Lamour and Andrew. I know you you and I both love Louis Lamour. Patrick, have you ever read Louis Lamour? I haven't. No, okay. Yeah great great books, you know western so it's kind of they're modern but in that western style of you know stranger comes into town Find something going on that's wrong, you know fixes it and then rides off into the sunset. That's that's kind of the model
00:26:03
Speaker
Yeah, my brother-in-law is a big fan of him. He's been you know it's got all tons of those books. I just haven't ever delve delved into him. But yeah, I should check him out. But yeah, that's ah that's awesome. you know Fighting has is is romantic in it in a way of of its own. So you know maybe it is a little bit romantic. Yeah, maybe it is. yeah that's That's a good outlook. yeah I like that. um Yeah, the question you asked, Andrew, was the exact question I was going to ask. So we're on the same wavelength. Oh, nice. um I was wondering, um for someone who maybe, maybe they feel like they need to be a little bit more prepared, you maybe take a little bit more responsibility for being a kind of a protector, where would you say they should start? Or do you have any advice on, you know, should they should they start a martial arts class? should they Should they go to a shooting range? Should they, you know,
00:26:53
Speaker
My thought first thing is maybe just learn to kind of keep your head on the swivel, that sort of thing. Just pay attention around it. And you mentioned that already. um But what would do you think beyond that? Any thoughts? Yeah, that's ah that's a really good question. um I'm so glad you asked that. And and you're exactly right. I mean, if if most people, if they look, there's probably at least one or two and more likely three or four mixed martial arts ah you gyms in You know a 30 minute radius of them And every one of them will give you at least one free class or in many cases of a free week And if you've got you know three or four you can have a month of free training
00:27:35
Speaker
So try that, see where you're at. oh you know you're You're never too old to learn jiu-jitsu. I mean, there are 70 year olds who can kick my butt at jiu-jitsu, you know? yeah um And then additionally, um you should definitely just try and be more and more I'm aware of what's going on. And I think that that's and just get off your phone, look up, look around and try and spot different things that you wouldn't have looked at before. ah Figure out different routes. You know, you probably drive the same way to and from church or the store or the library or wherever you go work.
00:28:15
Speaker
Figure out different routes. Try navigating you know if it's not urgent without your phone. And just figuring out, okay, how could I get from point A to point B? ah Start walking. Here's a big thing, and this has been life-changing for me. figure out after this meal could I run a mile if I had to and that's going to be really hard so you never want to eat you know in excess and that's just going to help you get in better shape could I fight someone after this meal without throwing up or something a couple different things like that but yeah every day you should be improving in something and it doesn't mean spending a bunch of money you've had clay martin on here and his books are phenomenal
00:28:59
Speaker
But one of the things that he warns against is you don't feel like you have to just go out and buy a bunch of stuff. That's not the place to start at all. um Yeah, I think hopefully that that gives you know people who haven't tried anything before just just an idea. Yeah, I love that. It reminds me of that scene in New York, seeing Band of Brothers. It reminds me of that scene where the the this the sadistic lieutenant is like, ah makes them, feeds them all spaghetti on purpose and then makes them run up the hill to yeah that's a torture them. Yes, exactly. and You know, there's a great book, I don't even know if you can call it a book, but by Jocko Willink.
00:29:38
Speaker
um And it's called the code the evaluation and the protocols and it's really short. It's it's a very thin manual um And he just has these different things and and there's some leadership and and familial i things to improve upon. It's actually very similar to the ah children youth program for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, of which I'm a member of improving intellectually, spiritually, socially, ah and physically. And he's got all that covered, but he does say like every day
00:30:12
Speaker
you should become a little bit more lethal, you know, training with with tools, whether that's guns, knives, um and then you should also be you know training in some form of martial arts. And and that can just be like shadow boxing a little bit or or picking up something heavy or running a little bit. So just figure out any exercise. How does this translate to a combative situation or a life saving situation?
00:30:39
Speaker
um Come on, come on back to our ah proverb. Um, you all, what you're saying is really making me think about it a lot. Um, and, and part of it is so a wise man prepares for danger while the fool denies it. Um, and it makes me wonder about the people who deny danger. Do you think it it's part of that is related to people being unprepared to confront danger or do things about it? The, the reaction to that is to deny it. It's kind of ah a coping mechanism.
00:31:13
Speaker
Um, yes, yes, absolutely. Sorry. Was there more to that question? but that I didn't, I didn't, uh, that was kind of the end of the question, but I didn't phrase it that way. Um, I guess, you know, what would you say to someone to who isn't prepared to confront danger? Um, You know, is it still worth learning to identify it? Right. Like, yeah, 100%, you know, and I recognize, you know, not, not everyone is going to, um, you know, be willing or or able to respond to situations, uh, with any degree of, of violence or competence or, or confidence. Uh, and that's okay. You know, and they didn't it's not for everybody. Um,
00:32:02
Speaker
You know, there, there's a reason that, that it is hard, but you know, if you, it's, it's like the the old ad, if you see something, say something, you know, you, you can at least be aware and, and bring that to other people's attention.
The Broader Scope of Preparedness
00:32:15
Speaker
And if all you can do is, is get other people to run away, that's fine. You know, you're still helping people. And so, but yes, it it is a bit of denial. I think it's, it's pride and, and really, I think it is also fear. It's because they they don't want to admit. the chinks in their armor. It's like me, you know, even, and there are people who, you know, be like, I don't need to, I don't need to get in shape. I don't need to know how to fight because I'm always pack and I'll just shoot the bad guy. It's like, well, uh, wrong, you know, yeah, you're going to be the first as like, you know, you're not going to be able to murder someone or, or shoot someone in every situation. And you know what, what happens if, you know, you're,
00:32:59
Speaker
firing hand is is disabled, you know, or you you do have to run or you have to carry an injured person. It is all these other things that people just want to make excuses. And it's not just physical violence. I mean, I think that the greater danger is is there's a lot of spiritual and emotional danger out there as well. People want to say, oh, no, it's fine. I let my kids watch these bad programs. They're they're not bad. They're not, kind of you know, and that's the denial of these dangers or no i'm i'm not in danger of you know uh being uh unfaithful to my spouse i would know you know they they deny these things and i think that it is a form of pride and and it's ah a form of fear as well because there there actually is danger out there but if you confront it and if you're looking for it um you know you don't have anything to worry about one one last story um my family and i were recently camping with some friends and we uh
00:33:57
Speaker
ah went down by the river and You know, I didn't have my phone with me No cell service obviously which helps and I was looking around and I saw in this little hollow of this tree there's a big rattlesnake and I was like, hey, you know, that's right by where the kids are running That's where we're setting up camp to play in this river and I love animals. I and Don't don't like to Kill animals and I've you know picked up and rescued, uh, lots of venomous serpents before. But in this case, I'm like, Hey, my kids are here. Dogs here, my friends, kids, you know, can't, can't have it. So had to, had to kill, kill that critter. And I would have missed it because they're very well camouflaged if I had been distracted.
00:34:47
Speaker
Yeah, I love that. I love how you mentioned, you know, the people who carry a gun feeling like that's all they would ever need. Sometimes I think people view a weapon or a tool like that as like a magic talisman that wards off evil, but that's not how it works. You know, it's, it's one tool to deal with one potential problem. um But I mean, most kind of quote unquote violent encounters that people deal with are oftentimes people they know, you know, it's your crazy Uncle Ted that had one too many beers at the barbecue and now he's pushing and shoving and throwing fists and you're like, Oh crap, maybe you're the
00:35:21
Speaker
the the next fighting age male there that people are looking to like, hey, what are you gonna do? And you're like, oh, shoot, what am I gonna do? You shoot Uncle Ted, you're not gonna do that. But maybe you have to step in and help out before he hurts somebody, you know? So there's there's stuff that that, you know, being prepared is, is ah man, it's just super important and in having having ah ah different options. I was recently, a few months ago, ah Braxton McCoy, if you you know him, from ah he's a mutual friend of ours. He had me on his his program to talk about doing jujitsu at my age, you know kind of like middle age and what to expect and everything. and
00:35:58
Speaker
and you know i I told them, I'm like, look, I didn't pick jujitsu because it's like the end all be all best of everything, but it's it's a good it's a good starting point that you can do. Like you mentioned, people can do it in their 70s. You're not getting punched in the head all the time. it's something it's a it's a The barrier for ent entry is fairly low. You can start it and you can ramp up and do intense stuff, competitions, whatever if you want to. where you can kind of keep it kind of easy. And so I think it's just incredibly accessible. so um and And like you mentioned, there's gyms everywhere. There's MMA gyms. There's you know whatever whatever is your flavor. I think there's there's so many options to help you out. you know Just like you said, get a couple percent better. That's awesome. Yeah. I love Braxton. I'm going to have to listen to that. That's really cool. Yeah. And and you're exactly right. And
00:36:45
Speaker
I think for everyone listening to, I mean, you're way more capable than than you think you are. You can do way more than than you think you can. And you don't have to be a Superman. You don't have to you know be ah some sort of of crack shot with a weapon. you You just have to be aware. You just have to look up. You just have to be willing to say something. And I think that that's the thing. I mean, we we there there are stories, well-known stories of people who are you know, being violently attacked and there's tons of bystanders. And if all those bystanders had just all, you know, rushed the bad guy at once, then, then things would have gone a lot better. So, and then of course there are, you know, those single heroes who are able to neutralize a threat just by themselves. Um, but you know, just working together. I mean, you you look at, at people who.
00:37:40
Speaker
You and you'll notice people like you'll just kind of see your penis like, Oh yeah. Hey, that that guy looks like he's also a fighter. That guy definitely lives or he's prior military, you know, all, all these things that you can figure out and be like, Hey, in a bad situation, that's the person I'm going to first. And, and it just helps just talking to people in general, like yeah when you're camping, go talk to the people next to you. Oh, do they have a tool you can borrow or just knowing their names and like, Hey, There's an issue, you know, you can, you, you, you've built some rapport. So you don't have to build that later. You know, I, my dad is so good at preparing ahead of time. Um, I remember just as a kid, we were camp, I grew up in Illinois and we were camping and saw this funnel cloud ah appearing overhead. And my dad said, Hey, let's get all packed up. And we did. And and the people we were with didn't, and then, you know, fortunately there was no tornado, but there was a
00:38:38
Speaker
really bad rainstorm and their their stuff got ruined and soaked and we were fine just sitting in the car waiting for it to pass and then we set up camp again. And so, um, yeah, just be, be willing to do things. If you get a bad feeling, like just work on that and and develop protocols and as a family, Hey, have a code word, have a rally point, have secondary points. Okay. There's an issue. Where do you go? Which neighbors can, can we go to? Um, and again, not a fear. Uh, not fear tactics, but, but just being prepared and be like, Hey, we we need to rely on each other and you're just going to be better for it. And it's like insurance, you know, hopefully you never need it, but you know, you're glad you do have it. Yeah.
00:39:22
Speaker
um I like what you said about going and talking to your neighbors, the people camping next to you, that sort of thing. And and you mentioned Clay Martin. I mean, that's one of the things in his books is talk having a network, having people around, you know you could be the biggest, toughest, baddest dude around. If you're alone, you're in trouble. you know i mean you know like Compared to having a group of people, even mediocre guys like me, you know are better in a group versus one super tough guy. um And and you know like you said, not only is it good, just friendly um
Teaching Preparedness to Children
00:39:54
Speaker
neighborliness to go talk to people, but it's also, you can you can spot, like you said, potential allies, but also you can spot if there's someone who maybe seems a little iffy. If you get up and go out and talk to them, you can be like, hey, maybe these people we we don't wanna be camping next to, you know? And then you can you can you can make a change before before something happens. So I love that.
00:40:14
Speaker
I know Andrew is really good at building communities as well. He's just one of the friendliest guys in the world. Yeah, that's good. I didn't even think about that from the the a standpoint of threat assessment. That's really smart too. Thank you for that. See, you taught me something.
00:40:32
Speaker
ah One thing that that Patrick and I talk about a lot Uh, in these episodes is, you know, how we kind of instill these values in, in our kids. Um, and, and so I want a question for both of you, you know, what do you do to teach your kids, you know, to prepare for danger and not just, you know, physical danger. Um, that's kind of like age appropriate as they grow up, you know, like you don't want to freak your kids out and everything, but so what have, what have you, what have you guys done?
00:41:05
Speaker
We'll start with you, Brett. Yeah, that's a great question. You know, I, I try and, and my wife's really good at this too, is just saying like, Hey, there there are unsafe people out there. So we just need to be aware and, and just teaching your kids some confidence and saying like, Hey, it's okay. Come talk to us. If you come and tell us something, you're not going to be in trouble. We just got to know. Um, and, you know, and really enforcing those things like, Hey, if you don't answer the door. You know, if, you know, without us or, you know, just being aware of, Hey, do you know where to go? If, uh, if there's an issue and finding a skillset that they already have that they like, uh, or something they like to do and turning it into an exercise and making a game out of it. So even when my daughter was really young, she loved going to grandma's house. And, uh, we would always say like, Hey, okay, tell me where to turn.
00:42:01
Speaker
And, you know, she, even from her car seat, she was like, Oh, yep, you got to turn left here. You got to turn. She just, she got really good at navigating. And so recognizing that, and then on walks, I'd say, okay. We're here. We are at the park. How do we get home? And it's like, okay, you know, looking around cause things look different and teaching them to look at the back trail. Cause things always look different coming the other way. Um, so things like that. And and then. Yeah, if you can get them into some sort of sport, that's awesome. I'm still trying to get my daughter to do some jujitsu with me. you know She's not quite at that point. She's a really good athlete. But yeah, so I think having them try out some sports like that is really important. um And then just teaching them things like letting them start a fire that's age appropriate, saying, okay, and so I always think about
00:42:50
Speaker
Maybe this isn't the the best exercise, but I figured, okay, if I were incapacitated or if I had a heart attack or something right now, could my daughter, you know, would she know how to unlock my phone or would she know how to, you know, get some food out of the cabinet? Is there stuff that she can reach? You know, would she know? um How to lock and unlock the door open the garage or use a fire extinguisher like just all all these things are so so important and I think if you just like if you make a game out of it and learning where things are and say like hey, okay Powers out turn out all the lights. Everyone needs to go find their flashlight um You know, I think having a flashlight, you know um
00:43:35
Speaker
closed toed shoes under the bed in case there's broken glass or something. it's just It's a good thing to have. So you just get an emergency kit together and go through it periodically. What would you use this for? I think that that's that's what we try and do. I'm excited to hear about what you guys do as well.
00:43:52
Speaker
Yeah, we um I mean, listen to all that stuff. I feel like there's a lot I could do better, frankly. But um but yeah, I love all of that. That's that's fantastic. um I think it's really important to talk to him and and just um let him know that you're serious about things. it doesn't have to be You don't have to be terrified. ah Let him know that there's there's bad things in the world. And the we we're in a family. We have a home together. for partially for the reason to protect you from those bad things. So you're safe here, you don't have to be afraid, but just understand that if you, there are certain rules and certain things that we have, and as long as you stay within these parameters, the likelihood of anything bad happening is gonna be very low, but if if you,
00:44:35
Speaker
Just understand that there's stuff out there that could it could be harmful and that's that's physical stuff. That's ah Mental emotional spiritual stuff, you know once my my oldest daughter now has a phone and I was terrified of that not not because I was afraid to let my Daughter access the world but because I was afraid of the world having access to my daughter, you know And so we had to put some some strict limits on it and and we got a special kind of kids phone that didn't couldn't do this that and the other and and we're kind of easing her into it as she you know is now a new teenager and she's gonna be growing up and And then hopefully by the time she's an adult and going off to college or doing what she's gonna do, we'll have had a ramp up period where she's ready for all the responsibility. which's not We didn't give it to her too soon, but we also didn't you know shield her too long where she's not ready. you know So I think it's that that gradual process where you just try to warn them about things and give them more responsibility and and yeah, all the stuff Brett mentioned I thought was awesome.
Conclusion & Call to Action
00:45:30
Speaker
Yeah. Thank you so much. And then for that too, cause that that's one thing I've been trying to consider saying, okay, when, when's the right time to introduce all these things? And you you might find like there's not a ah good, a good period. You might have a five year old who's ready to, you know, carry the matches. You might have a 12 year old who's not even ready to, you know, have a pocket knife. and And so you just figure out like, okay, what's, what's the right thing? What, what is everyone's level of maturity? and skill set and what's needed. And then you kind of go from there. but yeah Yeah. And that's why you have multiple kids because yeah he'll be like, Hey, he's doing it. Why can't I? like well You guys are a different spot.
00:46:16
Speaker
Well, yeah, that's that's a challenge for mine right now. The two and four were the two year old definitely wants to do everything the four year old does. Yeah, we've done that how do you get home directions game with my oldest. And that's been a lot of fun. I have to do that more often. I like a lot of your ideas here, Brett. I have to try some of these. Because yeah, one big one is we've done Montessori with our oldest. And that's a lot of real world practical skills that you learn.
00:46:52
Speaker
um that, you know, things you wouldn't normally want a two or three year old to do, like pouring things out of a pitcher into a glass, right? Like, like, Oh, let me do that. But um but yeah, that's the good, good reminder to to let my kids try and do real things more often. Yeah, love it. Well, hey, um yeah this is kind of usually about the time we wrap up with a guest. But this has been so awesome, man. Thank you so much for coming. Is there? ah Andrew, any last questions for Brett or anything before we before we sign off? I just want I just want him to to properly plug his stuff because we've heard the books. um I want the titles. And I also want to hear about your podcast.
00:47:38
Speaker
Thank you. You're too kind. Yeah. So, so my books, uh, first one's called white out. Uh, second one is out by night and the third one is without a shadow. And, uh, yeah, I, I'm going to see how long I can go to include out in, in, uh, the titles and I might run out of. I might run out of stuff. Yeah. had The last one we called burnout running out work out or run out yeah without a title. No. So, yeah, I definitely would would love to hear if anyone's read that, you know, please leave a review. I want to keep right. And I've got.
00:48:20
Speaker
Some short stories as well that i'm going to put out for free on my sub stack. Um, I don't put too much out there. Uh, but you can find me online at Brett W. Kane, uh, on X formerly Twitter. And then, yeah, my, my podcast, uh, off to have you guys on now. Uh, Patrick, I've been wanting to have you on for a long, long time and and you beat me to it. So that's, uh, iron side one word, iron side podcast. And. had a lot of of similar guests and and we we talk about just kind of stuff like this and and you know books oh and got a lot of different you know people from all walks of life. So it's pretty... ah
00:49:03
Speaker
It's pretty eclectic. I like how yours has a central theme. Mine certainly doesn't, but yeah, we'd love to connect. i love people So can I just say was that satisfactory? That was awesome. Yeah. Can I just say like I was looking through your list of episodes. I've i've listened to several of them, not all of them, but i've I was looking through recently. And I, we, you have like, dramatically similar guests, like we have a lot of the exact same guests on and it feels like we're copying, you know, like, man, everyone's gonna think we're just copying Brett's Ironside podcast, because of all the guests we have, they're like the same ones, like really, we think are awesome, awesome people. So um yeah, if you like the copybook headings podcast, you should check out the Ironside podcast, because it's got a lot of the same people, really cool.
00:49:46
Speaker
Hey, great minds think alike. know I guess, yeah. So, hey, thank you so much for coming on, Brad. We really appreciate it. Everyone go check out his stuff and thank you everybody for listening. We will catch you guys all next week. We'll see ya. There are only four things certain since social progress began. That the dog returns to his vomit and the sow returns to her mind. And the bird pulls Bandic's finger, goes wobbling back to the fire. and that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins, when all men are paid for existing, and no man must pay for his sin, as surely as water will wet us, as surely as fire will burn, the gods of the copy of hideous, with terror and slaughter at earth.