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Dungeon Dive Inc 11: The Wizard and the Frog
78 Plays9 months ago
The trio goes to the swamps today to investigate a mysterious doorway. Tulip and Protects share a single brain cell trying to figure the place out while Boom parties with the locals. Check out our website: funinstallersnetwork.com for playlists, merch, and more and support us at ko-fi.com/funinstallers if you can! Thanks a bunch! Rate it if you hate it!
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Transcript
Introduction to Dungeon Dive Inc.
00:00:00
Speaker
Oh, shit. Banana chews. Hello. Welcome to the show today. Thanks for listening with us, to us. We're playing Dungeon Dive Inc. And we've got Adam, Cass, Adrian, all playing characters that exist in this world. One's a human wizard.
00:00:19
Speaker
One's a little goblin guy that punches and hits with rock, and the other is an orchish lady who is real passion of singing on stage, but for now she will bash people over the head with the hammer instead.
00:00:33
Speaker
And now she has a very pretty dress over her armor.
Recap of Church Infiltration and Father Aimsley
00:00:37
Speaker
So now she's doing it too. Yeah, hopefully that doesn't get ruined. Last time we did some stuff. What was those things, Adrian? Church stuff. Roll the music. Exactly.
00:00:53
Speaker
Damn right. Damn right. All right. Uh, yeah, you, um, more or less, uh, ran a operation of, um, getting, I guess a foot in the door of the church and trying to find out where they keep all their money. Uh, boom, pa cast a spell on a coin and there was some singing and there was a, there was a goblin turtle. And, um, father Aimsley for now, his name is clear.
00:01:20
Speaker
And everything's okay for him. He changed his name to Clear? Now his skin is very clear. Yeah. Oh, good for him. Visine. Or no, not Visine. What's it called? I don't know. Let's play music.
Character Development: Promotions and Robes
00:02:09
Speaker
Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof. Wexlorn Wexlof.
00:02:32
Speaker
Piggocks. What are they? What do they call it? Like a puppet king, but not necessarily a puppet king. I got like a little puppet man in there that's a puppet church man, so to speak. You know, who's kind of going to get your hand of a precise. Yeah. Take the police from the inside, you know, take control. That's right. Yeah. And I got him a promotion and I got him a nice robe.
00:02:53
Speaker
And now he's all in the good graces of the Archbishop Dingleberry. And yeah, so I mean, I feel like I did a lot there. I don't know if I need to do any more at the moment, unless you tell me that my spell doesn't last for very long to find money, in which case I need to do something right away. Well, I have been forgetting my own rules that if you want to do a long lasting spell, you have to do like sort of a big magic type of thing. But well, I did. I wrote like a 16 when I wrote really good. That's going to last going to last. That's fine. And I also forgot the rule. So I mean, it doesn't really give a shit.
00:03:22
Speaker
It's my game, I can do what I want. I did the biggest magic you can get with the highest number I can roll. You rolled pretty dang good there. Yeah, so that's- You sure did. I did it. Yeah, man. You did it. Good job. Good job. Yeah. Good job, buddy. Yeah, sweet. Good job. Well, and especially because like you always, like whenever you really, really want something, your roles always go the other way. So, oh, it worked out in your favor this time.
00:03:50
Speaker
Yeah. Finally, asthma, razzmatazz, whatever that God smiled upon me. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, you guys, I mean, that's up to
Mission Memory Lapse Near Bogburg
00:04:00
Speaker
you. If you want hell, you want to follow up with the church. I'm not going to fucking force you. Or when you got your other job, you were given, you can do that. We're giving a job. Yeah.
00:04:07
Speaker
That's why I made sure I mentioned it, because I knew you forgot. Fuck. What was that? Was I there? Probably not. Both in real life and in character. She does not remember. Thank you. Teleported away. Who the fuck got a job? What? When did that happen? Randomly somewhere. What was the job? He said that somebody found a cool place down in Bogburg, now near Bogburg in the swamps, and then you can go there. I don't remember any of that.
00:04:37
Speaker
Remember any of that conversation? Fuck, I was only like six days ago. And I forget that shit. Well, maybe because you were in the scene, you didn't remember. Yeah, I was in the zone, man. My brain. I was father. I was doing something else. My brain is not here at that moment.
00:04:53
Speaker
Yeah. Thank you. Uh, yeah. Can you just give us a brief description again? Maybe a slightly less brief. Can you tell us again one more time what that job was? Uh, basically BOOROCULES had told, I think Tulip and maybe Protex was there that I think someone sometimes instead of like dire urgent missions, they also get just people who say, Hey, like I found a cool hole in the ground. Maybe you guys can go look at that. And then dungeon diving pays them a small amount of money to give that information. And then you guys can go.
00:05:22
Speaker
and look and see if there's anything cool in there that can make profit for you and the company. And that's basically what you got. Someone down in the swamps said that there's a thing down there. I definitely, you were listening, because I remember I said there was a peat farmer down there, and you're like, oh, who's peat farmer? So I shouldn't remind you that, because now you're going to say, hey, we're looking for peat. I remember you saying something about a peat farmer, but I don't remember anything else about holes.
00:05:44
Speaker
Dracula's whatever it else you said about that was never mentioned Dracula's anyway, there's a place. There's a place you can go. You're confusing preoculars with Dracula again
00:05:53
Speaker
Damn it. Can we meet a vampire named Dracula?
Squirrel Mount Jokes and Fishing Pole Antics
00:06:00
Speaker
Can I put in a request for that too? Let's go. What are we waiting for? Let's go to more Draggy. Is that where we're going? No.
00:06:15
Speaker
Wrong direction. Um, yeah, that's basically what's going on. He told you there was a guy, he couldn't remember the guy's name either. Cause he, I think he got a shitty little letter written guy named Jeff perhaps. Yeah. And then in Bockberg. So we had a hole in Bockberg. They give us transport. That's a long walk. No, man. Hey, does your work, you go to now and give you a car to drive? No, you drive there and you bought.
00:06:42
Speaker
My old car, my old job did though. They gave me a company car and everything. They said, here's gas. Pay for gas with this. That's because you probably drove around places for your job. I did. I mean, we're driving around places now for our job. Give me a horse, you cheap fuckers. You have a lot of you guys have a lot of more cash, but others on, I mean, to it, but others on a dress. So I mean, you guys got money.
00:07:02
Speaker
Hey, hey, guys, what if we go find like, you know, maybe like a little squirrel family and then we turn them into mounts and then we ride some squirrels where the last time you tried that you blew. I mean, it was dead already, but you blew up the last. That's right. Maybe this time I can do it. Maybe this time I can do it right. You know, I believe in you to do this this time.
00:07:25
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I guess you probably don't care. I will say if you want to make them a permanent giant squirrel family, you can ride on. Also, though, hopefully you're going to cast giant these squirrels up and make them docile and tame to me because otherwise they're going to be giant fucking wild squirrels running around, biting the shit out of people. It just dropped them off at the groomer and we come back in half a hub versus going. Oh, my God. I get up that squirrel to do that, please. But you can try. You can.
00:07:53
Speaker
When Boom gets a little bit more proficient with his magic, he's gonna bring Betsy to life for real. And he's gonna fuck her. And then we'll have Kimi, then we'll have Kimi come on and she can play Betsy. He'll be like, yes, please. Can you cut a hole in the bottom of Betsy before I make her big? No, Boom, you're weird. All right, hey, guys.
00:08:22
Speaker
So I heard about this job that you guys were talking about earlier. Totally made sense about investigating a hole in the ground. Mm hmm. You know, maybe Dovin's in there, but but you guys, I mean, should we just let the church go for a bit? You know, I got a little track and spell on the money. We could give it a couple of days and go do a quick job while we wait. Yeah, I think we can progress that quest runs like the main quest, like progress further. What what are you talking about?
00:08:51
Speaker
Protonks is having a stroke. I know you said you're progressing them, progress them. Protonks is having a stroke. Progress the side quest. You want to progress the side quest while waiting for the main quest to progress. It's one of those games. It's one of those games.
00:09:10
Speaker
Yes, yes, which is a good way to I think I love video games do that by the way when like oh Hey, you know the main quest is something's going on. So go do some side missions and shit I like whenever they like this it was like a kind base like exploration like fallout find your son, but also like build a thousand towns. Mmm. Yeah Closer to your son with every settlement you build I'm God yeah
00:09:36
Speaker
Could Tulip find a fishing pole before we go? Could she just go to a shop where they have that stuff and buy it? Or is she going to try and yank one off somewhere? Either find one that's been abandoned or I could buy one. It doesn't matter.
00:09:56
Speaker
Um, I mean, there's probably some laying around some of the various waterways and stuff, but they probably have people who want to use them. I would imagine, but, um, or you could just grab a stick and put some rope on it. That's boring. I want a fishing pole and go shopping. It's a fishing pole. I want a proper one, a proper one with a hook and everything. And I really.
00:10:23
Speaker
What are those things? Yeah, they're probably not just like, you know, abandoned fishing hooks, fishing poles along the road, laying around. So you probably have to buy one if you don't want to steal one out of a barrel or something. I'm going to steal one.
00:10:36
Speaker
Nice. So you go to like, I guess one of the dark side areas, do a nerve roll to see if you can steal stuff, stealily. Okay. Without blowing up. I said it was a good stealily. I caught a three. Hey, what are you doing by my barrel fuller? That's my fishing rod barrel, lady. Get away from there. Oh, these aren't free. No, you crazy bird. What are you talking about, free barrel? Don't we ever have free barrel fishing rods?
00:11:05
Speaker
I thought that this, um, this word over here, it started with an F correct. I thought it said free. No, that's the label that says fissure rod. So I know which barrel that is. Oh my bad. I'm so sorry. She like, she does like the, um, with the hands in front of her and like the cute little, like, I'm so sorry with a cute little face trying to be like.
00:11:31
Speaker
Uh, like, uh, you know, she still got her dress on over her armor and she still got, uh, Betsy. So she's trying. This isn't going to have much bearing other than the guy's reaction, but Rome personality and see if you're, if you're actually turning. Well, all right. I guess you kind of, uh, kind of cute with your dress, but just get the heck out of here. You're kind of cute with your dress. It all creeps me out.
Adventure Preparations and Route Debates
00:12:00
Speaker
OK, do you know where I could get a fishing rod? Yeah, my pal, Dawn, makes a crapload of them all the time. He's right around the corner fishing. Dawn's fishing tackle. Oh, OK. Dawn. Who the hell, who the hell, who you got a little sneaker right here trying to get a fishing rod? I mean, meanwhile, you see, you see, you see, you see Boom is like just holding up his like rod next to those rods. But like, it's about the same. I mean, I could probably.
00:12:49
Speaker
If you give me double the money back, then we have a deal.
00:12:54
Speaker
There's interest. There's 100% interest on this. How about this? When, um, we get paid from the last or from our job, when we get back from bog bug, then I'll just pay you back. How does that sound? But it's double the amount, right? Sure. Why not? I spit in my hand and hold up my hand.
00:13:17
Speaker
She does the same and grabs it and like furiously shakes him. I spit your hand too. I also spit in their hand. To make it official, while your hands are clasped together, I spit on your hands together to make it a, what's the word I'm looking for? A sanctified moment.
00:13:45
Speaker
Lovely, lovely. How much money do you take from Protech Skull? How much would a fishing pole cost? Probably like not that much like two silver pieces probably. Like four bucks. Alright, I'd probably just take like three silver from him. Okay, we're not gonna act it out. You go see Dawn, he's got fishing rods, you buy one and now you have it and you have one silver left. Yay! Yay! Hey, I'm ready to go now.
00:14:13
Speaker
Okay. Let's go look at some holes. Well, yeah, we're going to go investigate a hole. Yes. Whoa. Whoa. That's crazy. Congressional hole lookers. Whoa. So you guys leave town through the southernest gate and you walked back down to actually, you could teleport to dolphins as you've been there. We could do that. It would be faster. You could, you could, you could do what, Protex? You just got to talk it out loud as if someone's talking to you. What are you talking about?
00:14:44
Speaker
He's like JD. Don't worry about it. He just said that we're in utter silence walking for like five more minutes. He goes, yeah, we could do that. We could do what? What are you talking about? No one was talking. You know what it was? My head just told me we could actually teleport to Dolvin. It would be way faster. Oh, yeah. Good. Wait, but I don't know where Dolvin is. Who's Dolvin? We never found him.
00:15:15
Speaker
Oh, I could teleport to the town of Dolvin, the town that was named after the elusive. Yeah, yeah. Big, bad, evil wizard were hunting. Totally, totally. Yes, that's what you're going to keep thinking. That's what we're going to keep telling you. Yes, whatever. Everybody, everybody grab ahold of me nice and tight. OK, I'm grabbing your rod. Get ready, sound effects guy. Boy, you look to look grabs his cheek. Oh, and what's the right one?
00:15:35
Speaker
You know, it's the city don't sell us an adventure.
00:15:47
Speaker
The Northern Cheek or the Southern Cheek? The Southern Cheek. Just grab... Full hand, like... Roll mine so you can keep your... Just kidding. Oink! You guys reappear in the town of Dolphin. There's a little goblin guy. He's carrying a platter of something. Holy... Careful where you guys... Do your teleportations, jeez! Welcome, Caskin. We have arrived in Dolphin again. I'm walking over here.
00:16:14
Speaker
Hey, um, do you want to come and hang out with us? Uh, goblin person. Oh, and I say, God, I mean, I'm a gnome and no, I don't want to. Oh, are you cosplaying as a goblin today? Or are you just working in the mines or something? No, I'm covered in shit now. Cause you scared the shit out of me. I'm all covered in this green stuff. I was carrying, I was carrying green paint. Oh, all right. Well, um, okay. Bye. Bye. Do I live alone? Do you want alone? No.
00:16:42
Speaker
Okay. I've heard of you goblin bankers and your interest rates. I'm leaving. Bye. I guess travel's fast. It does. Now you're in Dauvin. You can see to the south across there's a river. You see the old enchanted forest that was your friend a little while back. You spend some time there and you know, from knowing things, the bogberg and the dregmire swamps are down to the south below the enchanted forest.
00:17:13
Speaker
Oh, let's go down southwards. What if we just cut straight through the woods, you know? Yes. Hey. Wait, wasn't the enchanted wood where that wizard's tower was? Yes, yes, the portal to the wizard towers was. Yes. Oh, I'm going to teleport us there next just to cut our commute in half.
00:17:31
Speaker
But the tower isn't there anymore, so we end up somewhere else. Yeah, but I can go to the portal where the tower was poofed to, where the portal that poops has to... Yeah, but if you don't remember, there's a bunch of wacky shit that happens to you in the chain of force. You're gonna take longer trying to walk through that. Is it really gonna take longer? Let's just walk. Oh yeah, let's just walk. It's easier for you to say. You're closer to the ground. Your legs don't have to work as hard. Yeah.
00:17:58
Speaker
I got all this bunch of man to carry everywhere I walk. It's exhausting. I have a turtle shell to carry. That's even heavier than you. Yeah, well, that's probably true to some degree. And here in the background, beware the goblin turtle. Keep your candles under lock and key. Watch out for the goblin turtle.
00:18:28
Speaker
Can you, uh, can you take point in case any, any crazy critters jump out of the woods and try to bite us in the took us? She, she looks at you all serious and does that the two fingers to her eyes and two fingers to him and nods totally. All right. Well, I suppose, you know, let me stretch my legs. Let me eat a quick little power bar here. And I suppose we should get booking downward across the river. Is there a bridge? Where's the bridge?
00:18:59
Speaker
Probably some point, yeah, probably. We don't know if there's a bridge. Not really, at this point, because nobody wants to cross over into the Enchanted Forest and get trapped forever, but down lower towards the actual town on the Swamps is probably a bridge. We can just follow the Toon River, all the way to the Drakebyre Swamps, right? Right, guys?
00:19:18
Speaker
I guess. Or the other one, Bogburg closer to the other river. Yeah. You thought we were going to the swamps. We got to find the guy as a guy lives at Bogburg who knows where the thing is you're going to. Oh, my God. I never know anything is going on in this life. All right. Let's go the other way. Jesus Christ. You're not the navigator. Yeah. All right. So you walk there and you walk down through the past along the river and his beautiful nature and everything like that.
00:19:48
Speaker
And it's just great. And then you pass over a bridge that you were hoping to find. And he throws a rock at a bird. Oh, jeez, Louise, that poor bird is dead. And then you get keeping it for eating later.
00:20:10
Speaker
Neat. That's nice. Good for you. Little, little road snack. Yeah. If you eat it all at once, it's nice and crunchy. And then you get down to a swampier region and you get to a little, you see a little town like in the swampy areas, a bunch of people milling, not really a bunch, a bunch of people. Some people walking around, they got like big nets and shit. And it's about what you see. It's a little town, a little tiny little town.
00:20:38
Speaker
at the edge of the swamps. Oh, do we have a contact? Who are we looking for down here? Are we looking for Bork? I don't even remember. How about we use our calling stones to call back to Draculys?
00:21:05
Speaker
Oh, the Hercules. Do you actually say the Hercules or do you say the Hercules in pure fun? I want to call Drac-a-coise. Sorry, the color you're trying to reach does not exist. Shit. What do we do now? Let me try to remember. You said the wrong name. Real. Try to remember real hard. You were in that conversation. It's pure-oc-u-lease.
00:21:36
Speaker
No, I mean who we're supposed to meet down here. I don't remember. Roll mine. Maybe you can roll to see if you remember. Just because Cass doesn't remember, maybe two of them. Do a think. She's going to do like the thumb and her forefinger to her chin and look up with her one eyebrow looking up.
00:21:57
Speaker
I got to seven. Oh, um, you think it's like, uh, Jefferson or Johnson or Jay Jim? Well, that's right. You can reroll seven. Oh no. I mean, you could reroll that now or you could keep the seven and bank it for the episode. Um, you know, I think I'm, I think I'm going to keep it. Nice.
00:22:26
Speaker
In that case, it's... Jefferson Jackson Johnson, something like that. I remember, I thought it started with something like with a J or something. It was like Jefferson or Johnson or something. I guess we could go see if there's any names on any mailboxes. Yeah, let's do that. Perfect. OK. OK. Put your own tone. I'll tell you now, there's no mailboxes. Well, I guess we could go to like the
00:22:56
Speaker
to see if there's an event and be like Jefferson or Johnson or something and call out their name. There's people doing various tasks around the town. How many houses are there? Like five or six. Does Dungeon Dive Inc send us with anything?
00:23:22
Speaker
Do they ever just, you know, because the real life people that you're playing with don't remember shit. We could really use a hand with this. So does DDI give us anything? He said that he himself didn't remember because it was a shitheel letter. What? You know, you know, there's a guy in this town that you will show you where to go. That's it. That's all he told us. Yes. And you're making it way more complicated than that. Let me tell you something.
00:23:49
Speaker
The secret the big the big mystery and secret of the game is not where is the guy who's gonna if you just say Ask someone where this guy is and they'll say over there probably because this is not the main hurdle of the story Well, we don't even know who the guy is Something
00:24:08
Speaker
Yeah. All right. All wrong. And saying maybe I cast shout to the fucking town is Jefferson Jackson Johnson here. And if so, meet us at the pub in five minutes. You're all mine. I don't remember where my character sheet is. Sometimes it's like, man, you guys do when you do stupid shit before the floor. Your voice kind of just blows out. You're just the flow. Holy cow. What are you doing over there? Jesus. You're blowing me ears out, feller.
00:24:37
Speaker
Hey Scrooge McDuck, where the fuck is Jefferson Jackson Johnson? Oh, there's been no one here by that name, but there's a fella named Johnson, he lives three huts down that way.
00:24:49
Speaker
There we go. Mission accomplished. I misspelled what I needed to go. That worked. There's like babies crying and dogs working. I don't care. A car alarm going off. Ask me to stop taking notes again.
Finding Jensen and Swamp Doorway Guidance
00:25:07
Speaker
Someone's horse alarm is going off. It's going, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop,
00:25:19
Speaker
Babies are crying. Alright, his name is Jennifer. Is that what he said? Jennifer? I couldn't understand his accent. Jansen. Jansen. He said too much over. It's stuff like that that is why I let you guys stew a little bit when you don't know what you're doing. Because if I do tell you, you still fucking around with it. Anyway, yeah, there's too much down. There's a guy named something or other what you just heard.
00:25:44
Speaker
He said Jensen for sure. It's because in between information, we fuck around too much. Yeah. OK. It's OK, though. You know, also in the recap, we didn't know, you know, and bureaucracy set us up for success. So I think I've decided I think I've decided that after I conquered that church, I'm going to take over DDI as well or just start my own organization with Blackjack and hookers. I could do it in every game.
00:26:13
Speaker
Yeah, you know, and there's a reason for that. With Justin's GMing, he makes all the people that run the companies really shitty. And I, as Adam, don't want to work for them anymore. Yeah, just like real life. When I realized that the people who are running the business are inefficient, I need to take over and do my own and make it better. But in real life, you sadly can shoot everyone and then make your own company. Well, I'm not going to shoot everybody. I'm just going to start my own company and still all their clients. That's all.
00:26:43
Speaker
Next thing, you know, beer Achilles goes out a window. Yeah, well, I mean, that's if he fucks around and finds out, you know, you know, when I bring Betsy to life, she's going to be my bouncer. We're having this conversation as we go to the hut. OK, that's great. So you're at the hut. There's a door on it and it's a hut.
00:27:06
Speaker
I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock. I'm not going to knock.
00:27:35
Speaker
Uhm, your construction I think. And you have a hole for us. Oh yeah, I found a creepy weird little doorway down there in the swamps when I was digging around D.R.D. I'll show you a state if you're all interested. Yeah, yes. Very interested in hole. Oh you want some? I just whipped up some. He said I'm very interested in hole. Who wouldn't be? I've got some sausage hair on our pot. If you like some for a little trick. You hungry? I guess that's hot, that's hot, that's hot.
00:28:05
Speaker
He was hungry or what? You know, I only speak goblin. I don't really understand you. He wants to know if you want some sausage. Does the sausage hurt? I mean, it should be useful to have some sausage while we go to the hole. All right, come on in here. It's fine if I come on in here and you go in and it's like the it's like a little dirt floor like single room hut is like nasty little beds over in the corner and
00:28:32
Speaker
He's got like a little pan with some sausage and a little sort of like mini sort of stone space where he has a little fire. And it's some really like green looking funky sausage. Yeah, the finest bug bark's got all four hairs in this. But it's putt right here for ya. Wait one second. I'm gonna get it all for ya. And it gives ya all the guys all uh... I only got no plates, so let me spill here. He holds out a wooden spoon. How much the first bite? Me! Sausage with a spoon? Yeah, he's like scooping it out. Apparently.
00:29:01
Speaker
It's like, it's like mashed a little bit. It's like, it's real weird looking. All right. Hoping wide. Here comes the, here comes the horse and buggy. I want, I grabbed the sausage and put it in my pocket. Oh, that's a, okay. Oh, you're a little feisty, are you? All right. He scoops up, scoop. Who wants the next point? Lady or man? Uh, you know, I kind of generate my own sausages. I love my own sausage. You know, my sausage is the only sausage for me. You know? Oh, I understand who Lady is. Lady has some sausage for you.
00:29:32
Speaker
Of course, can I put it on a stick? I've got, uh, if you want to go out to the woods and get a stick, you can get one of them. Right here on Spoonfree, just suck it off, just suck it off the spoon.
00:29:42
Speaker
But, fine. Suck the sausage off. It's good, ain't it? Off the spoon. Finish your sentence, you freak. It's very obvious I've got a spoon. I don't need to tell you, I've got a spoon. I'm just going to say suck it off here. You can see the spoon. I don't need to tell you. I can't see the spoon. Look at it right here in front of the balmy band. Oh, that's spoon. Open your eyes. Let me have a couple of bites of it.
00:30:13
Speaker
All right, I'm ready for a walk in the woods now if I ever have been ready. All right, let's go. And he leads you out into the swamp. I'm full of sausage. I'm ready. He leads you out into the swamp and he's like, well, over here is where I once saw three beautiful dares running through the woods over there. And right over there, there used to be part of an old castle or something, but it's all shrunk into the swamp now. And all over there is where I got my first kiss.
00:30:42
Speaker
and then walk through the forest and you're telling all these stories. Did you have your first kids suck off the sausage too? Yeah, she's nervous about my sausage. She loves to eat it. Wow, good for you. That's great.
00:30:57
Speaker
Anyways, here's right over here, around this tree, down this little gully here. There's a weird little doorway I noticed there. This place here used to be covered over a bit, you see. Until recently it became opened up by the waters receding, and that's where it'll be now, is this little opening here.
00:31:18
Speaker
That's very interesting indeed. Yes. And I know we've been kind of lucky now, but you've got to be mindful out here of the frog people. The frog people? Yeah, the frogs. They don't like us coming out here. But we do it on account of... Fuck them, right? Yeah, that sounds very menacing. Yeah, they're really thinking that they own the schwumps, but... And here I am, walking around. Why is he at your frogs? They killed me. Why do you kill those frogs?
00:31:47
Speaker
I'll tell them. They killed my wife, so I'll tell them. We gotta do something about this frog, people, if that's so rude. I mean, she was trying to get their eggs to eat their babies at tadpoles with their good eatings, so I mean, we're gonna eat them. I mean, you gotta survive some way. Right. But anyway, that's neither here nor there. There's little holes down here if you want to go into there and see what's in there. I don't really even know.
Frog People and Mysterious Swamp Figures
00:32:10
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. We all do that, because that's what we are hired for.
00:32:14
Speaker
Oh, that's great. That's lovely. Alright, well, I'm gonna fuck off then. She always finishes me sausages off. I think I've got three different accents for him. That is fine. Later. Bye-bye. And he walks away. And as he's walking away here. Oh, and over there's where I once saw a man take down three deers at once with his hands. Oh, and over there's where I saw him.
00:32:38
Speaker
Right. Good. I cry myself and throw it into the hole. It splats into the hole. Oh, man. It's sort of. It must be. It must be really into your sausage because it didn't spit it back up. That's true. Yeah. How deep? Like how long did it take until the splash?
00:32:59
Speaker
Very well, so let's say it's not it's not like a hole in the ground. It's like it was like a little sort of like a little depression in the earth and There's like a little stone sort of like some old ratty steps and a little doorway down there. It's kind of like Leaning into the walls a little into the earth a little bit, but uh sort of yeah So you just kind of splat right in there's like the entryway there. Okay. Yeah Shall we proceed then I'm ready
00:33:28
Speaker
I guess I mean, are you guys just tired of like going in holes? I feel like we spend a lot of time in holes. I mean, I'm fine with that. That's always fun thing in holes. Always fun thing. Well, you know, I'm indifferent. All right, so I hate it. You're indifferent and you like it. See, we got the whole range of experience. Yeah, exactly. That's what makes us great.
00:33:50
Speaker
I just feel like we're going down into another hole filled with some sort of amphibious creatures or reptilian creatures that, you know, are just buying their own business. In this case, they didn't kidnap anybody. They're just living down there or living around the area, at least in the swamp. Yes. And we're just supposed to go down there and then murk a bunch of people and then leave. I mean, we're just here to investigate, right?
00:34:21
Speaker
Well, we investigated it. That's a hole, all right? Let's call up Dracocules and let them know what we found. You can do that, but I'll go into the hole. All right, go into the hole, I guess. Call Dracocules. This person does not exist. As you're standing here, talking to you behind you. What are you guys doing down there? Oh, hey, it's Prosephus. What's up, my guy? My name's not Prosephus.
00:34:48
Speaker
And you look if you're looking up, you see there's a there's a little there's a little frog man standing there. He said it's not like a guy I met before. I was just going to ask, are they large frog people? Are they like normal? What do you mean? Like are they actual like real life frog sized frog people? Yeah, like normal sized frogs. Or like human sized frogs. They're like human sized.
00:35:16
Speaker
They're like Bill. This guy's at least a little bigger than Protex as far as height goes. OK, so kind of like Meet the Robinsons. Yeah, just like an Injago or whatever. I don't know. I never seen that movie. I think I go around my hands around like where your hips are.
00:35:36
Speaker
Whose hips are you touching? I'm not touching anyone's hips. I'm just saying that my, like, height wise, I think that I'm, that my head is around like two lips hips. Oh yeah, probably. Yeah. You're about like two, three, you're like three, four feet tall, something like that. Yeah. And so I like to throw people up even a bit taller than that. They're like Danny DeVito kind of size and shape. Just like, it's like green Danny DeVito without hair. Raw guys. And he's like, what are you guys doing down here? Hmm? Why not guy bringing here?
00:36:08
Speaker
Not sure, we just... were told to come into this hole. Yeah, what they both said, kind of. We don't like that hole. Why don't you like that hole? Bunch of weird people going around. You know, now if there's enough people in this swamp area, we don't need any more. And they're coming around. What's in it? I don't know. Well, why do you not like that hole? You don't even know what's in it. Because people must come around here.
00:36:37
Speaker
creeping around. I like it. That's why we need to investigate to find out what's in the hole. Do you want to join us? Maybe. You gonna kill the people in their homes? Much better than I expected, so you're coming with us. They might miss me back home, but okay. Yeah, it's a bit of an adventure. You're not too bad for a bunch of non-squishy skins.
00:37:07
Speaker
It's so squishy. We're the shiny skins. We call you the dull skins. The rough skin. Don't touch yet. Don't touch for Tex. He's got that little pointy booger face about him. You know, it's not going to feel as good. What are you calling booger face? I didn't call you a booger face. I said you had a booger face. Settle down. Well, you have a booger on your face.
00:37:35
Speaker
what that's there for a reason what's the reason it's not it's for my enemies to know I mean wait it's for me to know my enemies to find out but also for my enemies to know because they'll know not to mess around with booger pop pop I mean I can't really argue against that yeah
00:37:59
Speaker
Hula, be alright. You seem a little quiet today. You okay with going down to a hole with your dress? I'm trying to figure out how this frog is talking. Like my mouth! Well, I understand that, but like your frog.
00:38:17
Speaker
What's this? And I'm not open. All right. I'm not going. That's I don't. That's that's racist. I'm leaving. I know you. Oh, no. You don't say rip it. Rip it. I know you dry. Oh, fuck you. You dry landers are all the same. You start swapping. You shoot him away. Zug's going to kill all of you. You're going to burden the non-wet.
00:38:40
Speaker
lands forever. You're going to burn in frog hell. He's freaking me out. I had to get him away from us. Well, we could have used him as campfire, but now he's gone. We can throw him down weird holes to see what he saw. Yeah. So say you guys want to explore? I don't know. Yes, I don't know. I hate this place. I don't want to go in there. Let's go down a hole.
00:39:09
Speaker
Well, how about you stand God and me and Protex will go down. Sounds good. I'm going to sit here and commune with nature. Hey, nature. Hello. The bird is a real bastard today. So, OK, Protex and Tulip, you guys walk down into the place and it's pretty dark and it's been spooky in there. It's drippy, drip, drop, drip, drop.
00:39:40
Speaker
Any of you guys have Darkvision? I don't remember. Do Goblins have Darkvision? No, because that's not a thing in this game, because that's bullshit. Then I do want to go back outside and talk to Boom. I'm pretty sure she still has the torch from when she went into the Cobra Man place. Oh nice. The Ninjago guys, right. Now we're going to meet the Robinson's place. Okay, good.
00:40:05
Speaker
So you want to talk with boom. OK, we're going outside again real quick. All right. Look who comes crawling back. Protects comes out of the hole. Booms yelling at nature. Hey, can you like cast a light spell on me or something? Let's go set something on fire. What do I look like? I'm fucking what? I look like a dispenser for light. Come on. You look like a magic person. So please do some magic on me.
00:40:30
Speaker
Just take a torch like any other adventurer would. What are you talking about? Don't be so much convenient with both my hands free though. Oh my god, first world medieval problems. This is the goblin. The goblin doesn't want to hold a torch because he's a little lazy ass. Build up his arms scrawny. What do you do all those triceps exercises for if you're not going to carry a torch? You're brave enough to go down the hole.
00:40:53
Speaker
Hey, listen, I don't want to go shit in the hole anymore, okay? I want to go fraud a church. That's what my mission in life is right now. I don't want to go... Well, that crap isn't active right now. Look, I'll tell you what. I'll cast a light spell on you, but if it fucks up and you get blinded, it's your own fault. I can live with that risk. You don't have to live with it. There's no going back. So, you want me to maybe accidentally blind you? You just want to make a torch.
00:41:23
Speaker
i just make you a torch i want to glow like the star i am i'm gonna make your clunk and suit glow you're just gonna be a giant fucking light bulb whatever that is okay that's what i want all right glow a kiss clunk and suit this that's a 16
00:41:46
Speaker
He's like a fucking glow worm. What a waste of a good role. I knew I could trust you. You feel like a superstar, Protex. Yeah. Yeah. And every time, every time that you run and your clock goes, it's radiant light. It's so radiant.
Illuminating Protex and Room Exploration
00:42:09
Speaker
It has five points of hurting eye damage to people. If you look directly at them, your fucking your eyes start to crust over. So you turn around, you start going back into the hole and just as you see, perfect, as you see a little flame light up in the tunnel where a bunch of faces lighten the torch.
00:42:30
Speaker
You come in and just as you're letting your torch tool up, you see a big source start to come into the tunnel with you. I'm a star now. He's a clunking worm. What did you do to yourself? I did magic. Did you do magic or did Boom do magic? I told you I'm a magic goblin. I don't believe you. Well, you see the evidence right here.
00:43:01
Speaker
Sure, that's why you went outside. Anyways, let's go. Let's go. The proof is in the pudding. So you start to walk down. There's like a few side steps and there's a little hallway. There's a couple of little rooms with open doorways on either side.
00:43:19
Speaker
Things seem kind of quiet in here at the moment, and if the tunnel goes a little further down and beyond the point of your lights, you can't really see darkness down there. Where's your direction you'd like to do with yourselves here? So, we just have found some rooms. Let's go into the rooms. The rooms? Great. Which one are you going to go to first, right or left?
00:43:50
Speaker
uh let's go to the right okay so you guys do you discuss or just turn into the room you're going to turn into yeah i just imagine they both just like they don't hear the other one they're like let's go left let's go right and they just like fork themselves we don't even say anything to each other we just veer off into different rooms
00:44:10
Speaker
Okay, protects you find in the right side. There's a room. There's a little table in the center Your little light shines to the whole room You see there's like some plates and things and some books and some scrolls on the table some candles Some plates I said plates already didn't I? And there's little beddings around the area and there's nobody here right now, but that's what you see and tulip over another side you see sort of like a
00:44:37
Speaker
Half the room's kind of crumbled in, but there's like, the floor's kind of wet, but there's like some like storage boxes and things in there and stuff like that. Some sacks of food that people have brought in. Can she go through the storage boxes to see what's in them? To get a clue as to who's been down here.
00:45:02
Speaker
Sure thing there. Yeah, you open one up, it's just got fur blankets and cloths and things in there. And another one with some dark robes. Another one has some assorted little silver items, like candle labras and things like that, if you wanted to steal those.
00:45:24
Speaker
And like there's like sacks of like grain and other little food items that are kind of fresh enough. It will look like they've been down there recently. People. Yeah, anybody.
00:45:37
Speaker
Yeah there's like you know there's like it's clear like some of the stuff's been like there's a half sack full of food and stuff like you know people been clearing taking things out of things and stuff like that and so there's like not a lot of dust or anything on anything oh yeah no yeah it looks like looks like yeah this stuff looks pretty nice like it's been brought down here recently
00:45:57
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Um, is there like a, is it just a single room enclosed or is there like another doorway or is just the one doorway behind me? Yes. Yes. All there is just a one way in and out.
00:46:11
Speaker
Okay, she's gonna kind of look around for a minute and shrug and then go back out as she like snipes one of the candle hovers. Nice. That's it in her bag. Anything you want to do in your room protects? I want to see if there's like any clues to what kind of person like usually is in here.
00:46:37
Speaker
What kind of person all right do uh do a sense roll for me. Let's look around here. Oh, it's 2d6. Oh, yeah, brother That's a two two. Um You see like there's all kind of books and papers and scrolls laying around But you really don't look at those You see there's a pair of boots Muddy boots laying on the by one of the bed areas. So
00:47:06
Speaker
Someone probably wore some money boots in here. I found some boots. Tulips. I found some boots. Yes. Oh. I'm coming. So we know that a person wears boots and has two feet. I found some boots, but where's the foot? I'm missing the feet.
00:47:32
Speaker
Well, at least one thing you don't want to find in a dark, scary tunnel is defeat. Yeah, that's all you see in those two rooms there. Yeah, after that, I go back and see what Tulip is doing.
00:47:54
Speaker
She's probably in the doorway because she heard you calling to her and she was just leaving. She has a candelabra in her hand. Oh, wait. She actually thinks about it for a second. No, she thinks about it for a second. She puts the candelabra in her bag and then she goes back for one of the furs and then drapes it over her shoulders. Okay. Nice. Nice. I'm sure you find something to pin it together so you can wear it. I got a little cape. Very nice. Look at that protect. She's got a fur coat. No, fur cape.
00:48:24
Speaker
Oh, that looks nice. Where do you find that? I found it in this room over here. Oh nice. What's in there? Um, really some food, mostly and some robes and some other stuff. Okay.
00:48:41
Speaker
What, were there the only two rooms or does it continue elsewhere? It just goes straight down, after that, further into the ground area of the earth. Do you want to go further in or like head back? I guess we could go further, but I didn't really see anybody over here, so... I mean, it might be abandoned, actually.
00:49:09
Speaker
Um, yeah, I don't know. So, but maybe we'll find out once we like reach the bottom. Okay. Let's go. Okay. Um, so you guys plot a little further in, uh, boom, you're sitting outside still. Um, it's been like probably, you know, like 10, 15 minutes. Let's just say you're sitting there chilling. Well, no, I don't want to just sit there chilling. I'm trying to, I'm still calling out, trying to see if any frog people come and talk to me.
00:49:39
Speaker
or if any nature will come and talk to me. Anybody around? I'm still calling out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you, are you, what are you doing? You walking back and forth? You stand in one spot. I'm just kind of chilling. I'm just kind of, uh, you know, I'm sitting on a, on a rock, just being like, Hey, anybody who speaks common, uh, you know, I just want to talk. My racist or friend is gone now. So you can come and talk to me. Anybody, my gross goblin friend is gone too.
00:50:10
Speaker
You hear sort of like echoing out of the woods somewhere you hear, you are friend to frog. Oh, yeah, absolutely, man. I used to I used to play with you guys when I was a little dude. Hmm. And then you hear slop, slop, slop, slop. And that guy you met first, he comes down. He's got his little his little wooden spear with a stone head on it. He's like, ah, where are they? They're gone, huh? Yeah, yeah. You know what? They're not the.
00:50:40
Speaker
you know, the brightest bulbs. But well, I mean, I guess the goblin is now because I lit him up like the like the fourth of boom lie. But outside of that, yeah, it's whatever. But I just want to talk to you because, you know, I figure, you know, you hate all these people coming in and out of here. I thought maybe you could tell me like who's been coming out because I kind of want to put a stop to it so you guys can have your swamp back. Oh.
00:51:07
Speaker
Um, and then, uh, up kind of from where he came out originally, like above the little, uh, area where that passageway is, another guy comes out and he's got like, in the first guys, he's sort of wearing sort of like sort of a ratty little like leather sort of stuff. This guy comes out wearing a little bit nicer. He's got like a fur, a little bit of fur on him and shit. And he's like, Oh, hello. You are from the dry ground. I mean, yeah, it's dry most of the time, I guess.
00:51:33
Speaker
Ah, dry lander. Well, I welcome to our kingdom. Oh, this is your kingdom? Neat? Yes. The kingdom of the anurins. Yes, that's us. Right? Isn't that right, Squigarff? And the other guy's like, yeah, that's right. Yes. Right. Cool. So, uh, my liege, what's been going on? How can I, a humble servant of the aneurysm people, help you?
00:52:03
Speaker
Well, I say, we have been washing many sneaky little people coming into this place. They make us angry. They stomp on all the flowers and they spot the mosquitoes that we like to eat. We can't eat a smashed mosquito. Obviously, it would be nasty and not as fulfilling.
00:52:26
Speaker
It's terrible. And they're not quite as bad as the people in Magmar who come out here and dig up the soil and take the eels out of the water. We like to eat the eels, too. They take all. We can't eat the eels if they're not there. That's terrible. Right. I mean, of course. I mean, yeah, it's like when you open the fridge and there's like no grapes there and you really want a
Magic Rainbows and Eel Revelations
00:52:45
Speaker
grape. Yes. I come down to the river. I expect there to be food in there. There's not any food in the river. What's going on? Well, I don't go to the river. I send Squidworth here to the river. He gets it from me.
00:52:55
Speaker
My boom-ma-ma used to be like, hey, when you get your magic, you know, upgraded, if you could turn these raisins, you know, back to the way they were, that'd be great. And that's like... You are a magical man? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Magical with my mouth, even more magical with my stick. Do some magic for me, then. I mean, didn't you see me just light up my goblin friend's Klonkin suit?
00:53:25
Speaker
No, I don't know what that means. I wasn't here for that. Oh. I'd like to see him. Well, all right. You know, I'll try to do something that's not going to blow the place up. So how about, um, excellent. I don't, I don't know how about, uh, make it rain eels. I love to eat eels. You know what? I do make my own food. I could probably make some eels. All right. I could do this. Keep your eyes peeled for the eels.
00:53:51
Speaker
Yeah, feel your eyes. Whatever makes you, you'll see better. Peel them. And I didn't say this, but Squigsworth has a basket on his back. He pulls out, he's like, I'm ready. Oh, that's all he does. I'm ready to catch them.
00:54:02
Speaker
All right. I'm going to cast Eelicus Revealicus. And I'm going to do that. It doesn't look. OK. Go. That's a five. That's a five. Sit with you. Are you trying to actually reveal the local eels and not make it rain eels?
00:54:24
Speaker
No, I'm not trying to make, like, literally rain eels from the sky. No, that'd be crazy. Why would I do that? That's what he wanted me to do. He wants me to literally make it rain eels? No, I don't know if I could do that. Okay. So you're just going to make a reveal nearby eels? Uh, yeah. I mean, that still demonstrates that I do magic. Yeah. Um, so like you kind of hear. Oh, that's just a ping.
00:54:47
Speaker
What is it? What is it? I don't see any eels to eat. What is going on here? I don't know, you do. Just follow the pink, see? The pink shows you where the eels are at. Ah, Squidsworth! Follow the pink! See if there's an eel there. Yeah, all right. And he runs off. And has some time passes and he's like, so! What else do you do? Uh, you know, I dissed that. You know, I'm still looking for new hobbies. You know, what do you guys do when you're not looking for eels or being angry at...
00:55:15
Speaker
land walkers for ruining your life. We make many fine marks of art out of muck and it's very it's very it's very beautiful actually how you see you make something and then as it does it's muck it goes away so you could only enjoy it while it lasts it's very meaningful to us you see
00:55:35
Speaker
Right. So, you know, say it's like it's like a rainbow. You know, you enjoy it while it's there and then it disappears. We love rainbow. We love to see a rainbow. Oh, me too. I could probably make you a couple of rainbows. You want to see some rainbows? Yes. Make it make a summer rainbow. Yes. I'm going to make it rainbow. Excellent. All right. I'm going to cast. Let's see, rainbow.
00:56:02
Speaker
For my new best framed bow. Oh, I forgot. And there's a 12 for you. Holy shit, yeah, you make like a big one shoot across like the opening, like in the trees above you where you're in this little gully. And they're like, oh my word, that's so beautiful. Wow. Holy shit. Holy shit, no one ever call you shit.
00:56:22
Speaker
I could not imagine seeing something like, Squithersworth, where are you? And you hear, pep, pep, pep, pep, pep. He's like, I found one of the, I mean, I found one of the hills over there, and it was beeping. And he was a bing, bing. Excellent. I told you it's a ping. Call it a ping, come on. Look up Squithersworth at this beautiful rainbow that this man has summoned. Oh yes, that's very nice. Yes. What is your name, by the way, magician of great power?
00:56:46
Speaker
Uh, you could just call me Boom. That's what my friends call me, Boom. Boom. Boom. I like that name. Boom. Yeah, it's got like, it's like an onomatopoeia. Popopopopopoeia. Yes.
00:56:57
Speaker
Well, you see, you can probably shine a rainbow right in the face of the people that come through here, stomping on everything, and swattling the mosquitoes. They come into that hole there, and we've kind of sniffed around there. It does not seem right to us. Very odd, and bad, bad. Who's gone down there? Who's gone down there, if you don't mind me asking? Have you seen witness people go down there? Yes, people in road attire.
00:57:27
Speaker
Hoods and things are sanitizing us. Mostly by night they come. Very, very frustrating, I think. We only walk in the daylight. Oh. Unless we want to go out at night, we do that too. You have a nightlife? Yeah, sometimes, yeah. What do you do at night? What's that fun to do at night time? I can hang out for a day. No! Well, do you want to come back to our village?
00:57:52
Speaker
Oh, hell yeah. I just yelled out in the hole. Hey, guys, I'm going to see the frog king's house. And back, you guys are walking down further in the hole and you hear very far, do a really light version of what you just said there. Boom. Hang on. Let me scooch all the way back. Nice. This is behind the scenes stuff here.
00:58:20
Speaker
I kind of hear that you can't understand anything. You want to hear that? And your lights light up in front of you. I heard something, but I didn't understand anything. Perfect. And you guys see ahead of you, there's like a door, sort of like almost looks like it's like a dark, perhaps either wood or stone, something like that ahead of you with like sort of like a very natural, rough look to it.
Talking Door Password Puzzle
00:58:47
Speaker
Um, and as you come up to it, um, it's sort of like, you hear like a little crickling, crackling, and frugal, frugal, crumbling sound. And like, uh, an eye opens up real gross looking on it. And like a mouth pops out and it's like on the door. Yeah. That's gross. Speak the word of intro and you shall never allow it in.
00:59:15
Speaker
I like that you're really leaning into these more grotesque, you know, incoherent voices that you're doing. We're not able to keep up a good accent or think of one. Just do something really fucked up instead. That's good advice. What are we supposed to tell you? Yeah, I like blinks and it's like, you just hear like a crunching of like the stone. Speak the word.
00:59:43
Speaker
And you will be allowed in. Booze. That's not correct. I just went to the frog king there, sorry. That's not correct. And the eye closes. Do you have a guess? Um, I was, I'm not really sure. Maybe, um, sorry, face. The eye opens.
01:00:13
Speaker
This is not the word of entry. Speak the word of entry and you will be allowed in. I feel like I've done different voices during the time it talks. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Um, do you, I didn't, did your rocket leaves give us a password? I don't remember. You certainly did not. Um, how about we just punched I,
01:00:40
Speaker
I don't want... No, you don't punch someone in the eye. What is wrong with you? I want to go through the door and the door speaks to me in weird language. So I want to punch the door. No, she looks at him and suddenly puts her like hands on her hips. No punching people in the eyes. She looks over at the door. Ribbit. It blinks.
01:01:09
Speaker
Speak the word in a train and you'll be allowed inside of me. Two hours later. It was so, it was so close. I'm just going to sit on the stairs while you do that. I imagine like Protex is like being salty, just crossing his arms. He's like irradiating his life right now. Yeah, this immense light and he's just sitting on a fucking bench just crossing his arms like I hate it. I hate this. I know. I know I could punch this door and it would work.
01:01:37
Speaker
Um, you wrote mine to live. What are you trying to do with your brain? I was trying to remember the password. Oh, there's, you're pretty sure you were never told a password. That's why I was going to say she is very certain that someone told her the password. I know that Dracocules told us something. Someone told us something. I swear.
01:02:01
Speaker
Any who, yes, that's that's that's your situation. You want to see if you can talk to your magic using friend? Maybe he can do something. If if you're done with that, I can still punch the door. He's like over there stretching, cracking his knuckles. I got the key right here. Not everything is solved by violence. You.
01:02:33
Speaker
Oh shit, get dunked on. Says you. So she's gonna just look over and punch him in the kneecap. Like, oh yes, you alright. It does solve everything. So you don't feel better, right? Proceed. And punch her in the knee.
01:02:53
Speaker
Just punching each other's knees. Remember what? That's like when I think for Texan, boom, we're just like, what are we doing? Like in punching each other. Yeah, I remember you're trying to write those backs for a while, too. Yeah, we're trying to write others backs, but you know, Dix is just like there's this big ass orc and his tiny ass goblin. They're just like a tulip has to like crouch down to punch him in the knee.
01:03:21
Speaker
I imagine he was still on the step so maybe he's up on the step that led down to this point. He's punching her cross and she's punching her cross. Probably still a little down. But yeah you guys are in there having your hissy fit with each other and boom you're being led through the forest by the frog king and his squire and he says
01:03:40
Speaker
Well, over there, I saw three deers the other day. It was very nice. And over there, there used to be a stone structure that the dry landers made because they didn't have enough dry land, so they had to make more for themselves. They cut all the... You know what they did? They cut the stone out of the ground and put it somewhere. How foolish is that?
01:04:01
Speaker
That's crazy! It was already... It's already a... What? That's crazy! Goodbye! I'm gonna hold it in the ground where you cut it, or just dig into the ground a little bit. Lay there! It's fine!
01:04:13
Speaker
No, I totally agree. I mean, why are we doing that? You know what I mean? Like, it's a rock. I mean, just leave it there. And I see we automatically assume you are going to be crappy people, because I like you. I'm sorry. I don't want to say that. You're a great guy. But yeah, your people, they all cut the trees down and live into the earth for the make two more tools to destroy more things. What is the point of it all?
01:04:37
Speaker
Yeah, that's crazy. What if I just like, you know, what if we just build like a like some sort of a protective wall around like your area so people can't get in? That would be counterproductive to what we believe in. I don't want to build a wall. We would have to tear down a many trees. We do tear some trees down to make a house. We're not a whole bunch to make a whole lot. That's silly. Zung would not allow it. Zung sees all. Do you want to coexist with the people with your neighbors or?
01:05:06
Speaker
Now we just want them to stay in their own area and we'll stay at ours. Leave us alone. Don't worry about it. Try and fuck your own. Fuck us, we say. But anyway, here's our place of living. And you see, they got some various little muckholes and piles of stone that they picked up off the ground and made little sort of almost igloos and little domes and shit with grass and stuff. Cakes, mud and stuff like that. And some branches. Well, that's a nice muckhole.
01:05:34
Speaker
Well, that's, that squigs was there, that's, I look across the way there, that brick one was mine. Yeah, yeah. Did you say fucking fuck us? Well, fuck you and fuck us. Fuck, uh, if they, if everyone just said fuck you and fuck us, everyone will be fine. Don't give a fuck about me, don't give a fuck about that.
01:05:58
Speaker
That's our philosophy.
Mud Party and Door Struggles
01:06:00
Speaker
Do you like how, look at my house. We built it into the roots of that big tree there. That's the nicest one in the place. Yeah, that's cool. Hey, you know what? Bunches of trees full of termites. So it's really the nicest. I have free access all the time to eat termites. I don't need too many so they can keep reproducing. You see, very smart. Yeah, it sounds like, um,
01:06:27
Speaker
You know, as, as nature, you know, I always ask, you know, how does nature know how to do that? You know, like, how does it know? How does it know to do those things? Our greatest philosophers have never figured it quite out. Fuck you and fuck us. Yes. Fuck you. Fuck us. Who gives a shit? Fuck you. Fuck us. Who gives a shit? Just come on. Sit down in the mud over here with us and take your shoes. Are you wearing shoes?
01:07:05
Speaker
Oh, I'm gonna- I'm gonna- I start stripping off my robe and placing my stick down on top of it like on a rock. Oh, excellent! He claps his- his hands together. Everyone! A muck roll! And all the people come around and out, he starts throwing their legs off. Oh, hell yeah! And they start- that's some dude, like there's a running dive through the muck.
01:07:11
Speaker
Uh, yeah, there's little crummy shoes though, they're leaking.
01:07:22
Speaker
I do a can opener into the deepest muck I can find. Oh, you're a born frog, a born frog. I knew it. I fucking knew it. Fuck you. Fuck Austin. Who gives a shit? And if you get a leech stuck to you, it's free lunch. Oh, hey. Yeah. Come suck me, leeches. Suck it off. All of it. This is great. What is going on with you? Fucking boom has happened like a fucking mud party while you guys are trying to solve a puzzle.
01:07:52
Speaker
And I think with the mystery of the door and the fun of the muck party. Fuck us. They're like making muck at mud angels. Fuck you. Fuck us. Fuck you. Fuck us. Who gives a shit? Fuck you. Fuck us. Who gives a shit?
01:08:09
Speaker
And that's where we'll end the episode of that adventure. Fuck you.
Cliffhanger Ending and Dungeon Battle Recap
01:08:13
Speaker
Oh, what a cliffhanger. Thanks for listening. We'll find out what's behind the door later. I guess if maybe someone can figure out how to open it up or what's going to happen there, who knows? I'm going to punch your knee. I'm going to punch your knee. They're both going to come out of the dungeon like limping on one side. Wow, why'd you guys fight that shit?
01:08:35
Speaker
Yeah, what a fierce battle was fought in the dungeon. And a monster you fight down there. And a orc was down there and they kept punching us in the knees. Knees.
01:09:28
Speaker
Well, does it look good already?