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Ep 167: Terminal Velocity - SKYtember!
52 Plays5 days ago
SKYtember continues with another 1994 action film, TERMINAL VELOCITY. Charlie Sheen is a thrill-seeking skydiving instructor who gets tangled up in a deadly conspiracy when a mysterious student (Nastassja Kinski) seemingly falls to her death during a jump. As it turns out, she’s a secret agent staging her own demise to stop a group of ex-KGB mobsters (featuring Christopher McDonald and James Gandolfini) from stealing Russian gold. What follows is a series of midair stunts, car chases, and shootouts as the unlikely duo fights off villains with gravity-defying flair.
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Transcript
Introduction to Sky Timber Theme
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to Sky Timber. And this week, I'm a flying penis. I'm Derek. I'm Yitney. I'm Jack. And this is Bad Movies. Where's people?
00:00:49
Speaker
You know what I've been busy doing? I've been busy watching movies about skydiving for Sky Timber. This might be the best theme month we've ever come up with. Yeah, it's a good one. It's definitely my favorite so far.
00:01:00
Speaker
I mean, like Drownuary sounded fun, but then you get like the sphere. And maybe I'll change my tune when we get to the last week of Sky Timber. But right now, just coming off of Drop Zone, having a hoot.
00:01:14
Speaker
Yeah, because I mean, worst case scenario, you're you watch the worst movie you've ever seen, but it's got people jumping out of planes. It's got some real ass sky pranks. All the stuff we chose has real sky pranks.
00:01:27
Speaker
Yeah, fake sky pranks. so ah Sky pranks and car pranks in this one. You combine them. Sky car pranks, sky car pranks. I almost wish we would have had classy in on this one, too, because of how much he enjoyed Drop Zone. yeah I can already tell you right now he's going to say great movie.
00:01:42
Speaker
Put in Wesley Snipes five stars.
Skydiving Movies Conversation
00:01:44
Speaker
Um, actually, um, actually. Here he is right now. Come on down.
00:01:54
Speaker
Come on down. we love you. Pretty sure he's at work like a responsible adult while we're on the internet screaming about Charlie Jean. I'm drinking for him then. Well, let me, before I go, before I read that, let's tell everybody what we're watching or what we're talking about. We already watched it.
00:02:11
Speaker
We're talking about... We're talking about... Vertical Terminosity.
00:02:18
Speaker
Well, I got to go watch a movie called Verminal Terminosity because I didn't watch that. ah Terminal Velocity. Vertical Terminosity ah starring Charlie Sheen and Natasya Kinski.
00:02:30
Speaker
Will you please name that the episode that?
00:02:34
Speaker
Vertical Terminosity. What was it? It was Vertical Terminosity. Vertical Terminosity. Charlie Sheen doesn't know where he is, but he's a skydiving penis. He is a skydiving penis. I think actually last year week when we had Classy on, I mentioned liking this one more than Drop Zone. And so did he.
00:02:54
Speaker
And he said he did as well because of right the titular Skycar prank.
Charlie Sheen's Role in Terminal Velocity
00:02:59
Speaker
And that's what i was looking for. So on my letterboxd, when I checked this in last time I watched it a year ago, He said, i hate to admit that term the terminal velocity mid-air car stunt only slightly edges this movie out because you know how much I love Wesley Snipes.
00:03:15
Speaker
So exactly. If this movie had Wesley Snipes, it's a perfect movie. Yeah, that's fair. I didn't hate Charlie in it. No, no, no. You don't hate Charlie in it. Because Charlie's in the prime. like This is prime sheen.
00:03:28
Speaker
Yeah, he was sober. Late eighty s early 90s. This is 94. I don't know about sober. I don't think that dude started sober. think he was born on cocaine. Right. This is, i want to he was. literally squished out onto a pile of cocaine. Yeah. I'm pretty sure this is when he was sober.
00:03:42
Speaker
Was he sober? I just don't feel like it. right He does the, he did the, the, the Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. Thank you. He did his stints.
00:03:54
Speaker
Like, crazy boy Charlie. and Yeah, but that's just because he was getting in trouble. I think that was just him getting in trouble. So the judge like, gotta go to rehab. Yeah. ah do want to say up front, because we're saying good stuff.
00:04:05
Speaker
and we're going to say good stuff about Charlie Sheen and bad stuff, but good stuff. This is not an endorsement of Charlie Sheen. He is kind of garbage person. He's overall garbage person. Yes.
00:04:16
Speaker
So don't come at us or sort of whatever. but When did he catch the hiv?
00:04:24
Speaker
I don't know. Does he was an HIV hepatitis or. Yeah, I think it combined them in the it was in the tiger. Have a tiger riding days. His high five.
00:04:36
Speaker
His bag of blood. Yeah. it's Tiger blood days. There you go. When he was doing all the what whatever that crazy shit he was saying all over the Internet. Hashtag winning and whatnot. Yeah, fuck. I barely remember that, but I do now.
Film Production and Box Office Analysis
00:04:48
Speaker
Hashtag winning. This is directed by a man no one knows named Darren Seraphian. Someone one knows him. um He directed Death Warrant.
00:04:59
Speaker
So that's a movie I've seen. Okay. That's young Claude. Yeah. and But pretty much he did a lot of TV. He was you i his IMDb actually had like a the actual bio. It wasn't just like he's a director known for.
00:05:15
Speaker
So I guess he was a Roger Corman guy, started directing a bunch of genre movies. And then eventually he got his big Hollywood chance, which was vertical terminology.
00:05:26
Speaker
Now that you say he's a Corman guy, I kind of can't wait to play the box office. um But ah so now he's a TV where after that he became a TV guy. He did 23 of the first 100 episodes of House.
00:05:40
Speaker
um He's made. He's done episodes of like Swamp Thing, CSI, Lost, Hemlock Grove, The Strain. Oh, I like Hemlock Grove. I like Strain. And then it's written by David Tui.
00:05:52
Speaker
Who sounds familiar. Wait, did I? Hey, I did put these things up there. It is Darren Serafian. Look, I thought ahead. But David Toohey, whose name I didn't put up there, ah we'll be talking about again. It's something you eat.
00:06:06
Speaker
Because he wrote Warlock, The Fugitive. He wrote Waterworld, so we've already talked about him. That's how I know the name. And he wrote and directed The Arrival also with Charles Sheen. Wait for D. Sheenber.
00:06:23
Speaker
But could we throw some Martin up there, too? Oh, yeah. it's just for Sheen's. So no no Emilio, sadly. Right. He's going to be rewarded by keeping his family name and not be on this podcast.
00:06:35
Speaker
But we could find something that Amelia could be. I mean, he's already been on this with men at Aren't we doing the Mighty Ducks next shit timber? I don't know. Maybe. That's a whole year from now. Yeah, I'm trying not to think about it.
00:06:46
Speaker
I haven't thought that. This is the only time I've planned an event like this this far in advance because I watched Drop Zone and Terminal Velocity back to back and was like, well, we got to do that. And I watched Cutaway like the same fucking time. But we'll play the box office game.
00:07:00
Speaker
Do we want the budget? Yes, please. Because that's the Corman aspect. If he's a Corman guy, 50 million. This was not a Corman movie. Oh, I know that, but I just mean like maybe he knows how to deflate a budget. But 50 million budget. Well, you are throwing a car out of a... I mean, they did know how to deflate the budget. They shot it in Arizona.
00:07:18
Speaker
True. That 50 million would have been 150 million if you were shooting this in California. And not just Arizona. It was there's saguaros everywhere. Like it's Sonoran. Oh, it's a lot of Tucson. They're at the Marana fucking skydiving place that's out here. They're literally shoot that's where the skydiving school is in this.
00:07:37
Speaker
no Okay, so 50 million, you got the Sheen, you got Gandolfini, you got McDonald's. Nobody knows who Gandolfini is in 94, though.
00:07:48
Speaker
i mean, the only real known person, and it Charlie Sheen is the name. Yeah. Chris McDonald. Who is he right here, though? Like, who is he now? don't know. Not much. been in some stuff. He's been in stuff, yeah. This is 94, yeah? He honestly didn't really become a household name, I would say, until he was Shooter. Just because he was always like... I mean, yeah, he did Dutch. He did... ah Thelma and Louise, but like he was never been a leading man. Christopher McDonald and Thelma and Louise.
00:08:15
Speaker
Yeah, he's the Gina Davis's husband. They steal a car from okay I have it on 4k. Okay. It's fucking um okay i'm in a terrible soundtrack. We're soundtrack ever.
00:08:28
Speaker
I only have one number. There was only one number. I'm gonna say 69 Alex. Ooh. Nice.
Skydiving Movies' Lack of Popularity
00:08:36
Speaker
50 million. It's on this podcast, so I'm going to say 48 million.
00:08:41
Speaker
Oh, don't they wish. oh $16.4 million. See, look, here's the thing. We always get it fucked up where I'm like, let's be a little bit nicer than Derek's like, you're being way too generous. And then other times like, God, you're being mean.
00:08:55
Speaker
Never get it right. Those are your two modes. You're either really generous or really mean. That's true. I'm kind of a sour patch kid. Yeah. First he's sour. i have sourer I have a whole ass bag of sour patch kids. I heard this last week. Let me look.
00:09:10
Speaker
So last week drop zone was 45 million and it made 28.7. So skydiv movie skydiving movies are just out, dude. Well, this was the attempt, the attempt to make them a thing. This is the 90s.
00:09:22
Speaker
Extreme sports are becoming a thing. They're like, we want to make skydiving movies a thing. Well, all the skydivers went and saw it. So it made $16 million. dollars Do you know the big issue though? They give ah next to nobody's not to to, not to like disparage anybody, but they don't give anybody like super well known the script to write.
00:09:42
Speaker
You know what i mean? So it's like you have these guys. It's like, all right, I can get you from A to B. It's not going to make a lot of sense, but I can get you there instead of somebody else. Like that's going to be just methodical and give you a plot that maybe the non skydivers are going to really enjoy.
00:09:56
Speaker
which Because the skydivers are going to see anything that has people falling out of planes, I feel.
Speculating Alternative Castings
00:10:00
Speaker
Well, which movie do you think storyline-wise made more sense? Terminal Velocity with ah ex-Russian spies stealing gold something something Charlie Sheen or Drop Zone with an air marshal or just a marshal learning how to skydive to stop terrorists from doing something with Gary Busey.
00:10:20
Speaker
They're both awesome. Equally dumb plot lines. Great movies. Five stars. Five stars.
00:10:27
Speaker
As I mentioned, this was pretty much filmed in Arizona. So when I was watching this on my own last night, I kept pausing it, which is why I didn't finish it and fell asleep because we may have had a few drinks. ah I knew. I was like, I got home. I looked at it and I was like, nah, not tonight. If I had to fall asleep, straight chew I would have made it.
00:10:44
Speaker
Right. Yeah, I was up for I made it about almost an hour and a half. So I would have made it. Just about. Yeah, but I wouldn't have retained any of the information. I kept pausing look up stuff to see what was, like the address in Arizona and stuff like that.
00:10:59
Speaker
ahha Not a real address, by the way I do have ah couple of alternate possibilities for Ditch Brody, Charlie Sheen's character. Ditch Brody.
00:11:11
Speaker
We got 94. Thank you. I only know that because the medal at the end says 1994. We got Steven Seagal in this mix? No, thankfully. Thank God. JCVD?
00:11:24
Speaker
No, that would have cool though. That would have great movie. I am Ditch Brody. Hey, you have to do a tandem where I ride you like a mule into the ground. You know what makes you more aerodynamic?
00:11:36
Speaker
Silk underwears. It does. You see the suit? It's made of silk underwears. It does. Danny DeVito. Ever since Whitney pitched it for a Punisher, it's just my favorite thing is to think of Danny DeVito as like a skydiving badass.
00:11:51
Speaker
Dolph Lundgren. No, he just hits the ground as soon as he leaves that plane. Is it somebody we know? These are both people we know. ah One of whom that makes her perfect sense and one of whom did a lot of like erotic thrillers and kind of confuses me about why he's here.
00:12:08
Speaker
And I'll give you a hint about the second one. David Caruso? We recently learned that his dad's name is very, very Russian. was just talking about this last night. No. Douglas. No, Michael Douglas. Michael Douglas is one of them, which doesn't... I don't see that.
00:12:23
Speaker
I could... Jewel of the Nile. like It's going off of that kind of thing. Romantic in a stone. What is happening here? What is going on? Which I think is perfect for Charlie Sheen.
00:12:35
Speaker
For Michael Douglas, I think of disclosure and was it fatal attraction and stuff like that. Yeah, basic instinct. Yeah. Was it fatal attraction he was in? Yep. Yeah. Okay.
00:12:45
Speaker
I think of stuff. I just, I just think of him in erotic thrillers. I don't know. Maybe disclosure. Maybe. yeah Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's just cause I know that he got, he's the one that got cancer from eating. Oh yeah. As me and the bleeps come old pussy eater.
00:12:59
Speaker
Anytime he's on screen to fucking bleep, it's just like, look at that old pussy eater. The other person who, who could have, who passed on the role. I think he regretted it because he decided to so make a career of doing stunts.
00:13:13
Speaker
Tom Cruise. Jesus. There you go. Oh, my God. he would have He would have loved this movie. We would have gotten all these Mission Impossible stunts so much sooner. This is why he did that in Mission Impossible.
00:13:24
Speaker
Yeah, he waited. in this Finally, this year, he was like, I'm hanging off a biplane. I could do biplane stunts. I have no Tom Cruise because fuck that dude. So he will just sound like that.
00:13:36
Speaker
There's another one who was supposedly considered. Those two are said to have actually passed. But there's another one who was supposedly considered who was not quite doing action movies yet. But very soon he would be doing a lot of them. And we love him.
00:13:51
Speaker
I've watched a lot of his movies recently. age. Yep. Yep. Mr. Nicholas Cage. That's who I was thinking of. Man, Nick Cage would have been phenomenal at this.
00:14:02
Speaker
What the hell is going on? But I think the skeeziness of Charlie Sheen works better to the way he treats Natasha Kinski throughout this movie. Agreed.
00:14:13
Speaker
Yeah, I buy it. i did. i I believe he is just trying to get his dick wet. Yes. I might go pull a clip for this because this movie starts with, bam, title sequence.
00:14:24
Speaker
It's just like all the letters flying at the screen. did a Terminal velocity. And you're like, what the fuck am my wife I watching? think you said it wrong. Vertical terminosity. Vertical terminosity. I'm never going to live it down, Emma, boys. I hope not. It's such a better name.
Film Setting and Opening Scene
00:14:39
Speaker
Are you prepared for what? The vertical terminosity. Yeah.
00:14:47
Speaker
Get them boys at B Action Films to whip us up a fake trailer for vertical terminosity. Dustin. I'll put together a bunch of clips and just send it over to Mickey and have him just voice it. Yeah.
00:14:59
Speaker
Vertical terminosity. I can pay him in friendship. I'm very poor. French kisses? Well, and said as we said our recent episode Hardball, the only ship that matters is friendship.
00:15:12
Speaker
I thought he said French dip. I could pay him in French dip. You know what? I could. i don't know i don't know where he lives. They're probably going hold over in the mail very well. you can put You can put it in some ah dry ice and send it over.
00:15:26
Speaker
I'm going to do a deconstructed French dip. It's just raw ingredients that I send him. Yeah. You have to cook it. What the hell is this? It's a deconstructed French dip. This is groceries.
00:15:38
Speaker
You fucking hipster. This is a packet of French dip and some sour cream. Here, deconstructed coffee. you You mean make myself a coffee? That's what this looks like. so It looks like me making coffee.
00:15:48
Speaker
Yes. Unground beans on water. Happy Christmas. I don't think we talked about on recording, but Derek and I, and I think, Whitney, you might have been there for this. Who knows? We were definitely at at our work.
00:16:01
Speaker
Charlie Sheen must have just lived in Tucson for a time. I looked it up because we were talking about it the other day. i looked it up today before we started. He did not live here, but he shot a lot of fucking movies here. Yeah, because I'm watching him on this dirt bike at one point going down this dirt road. And I'm like, wait around. You'll be welcomed by the Wraith or yourself in the Beyond the Law.
00:16:22
Speaker
Yeah. Or wasn't the arrival shot here too? At least parts it? Parts of it? I think it's New Mexico mostly, but I could be wrong. I could be very wrong. I've seen that movie once.
00:16:33
Speaker
I thought when they were in Mexico, they were actually in Arizona, but I'm not 100% sure on that. Okay. Well, stay tuned for DeSheenber. We're going to use up all of our Arizona movies in December. I know. That's okay.
00:16:44
Speaker
I guess we could just double Not this December, guys. Dachene Burr is not this December, but oh keep it in your mind. all alright Unless you want to work more. Always.
00:16:57
Speaker
i'm not I'm not working. You're working. I just got to sit here and talk. You think that's hard for me? December is our time off. It is very difficult for me to sit in this corner for more than two hours at a time. We need to get Whitney like the standing desk that you could do you could have options. even worse. Oh, yeah.
00:17:12
Speaker
I need aren't No, not just yeah not just standing. to do with mine. I'm like, bye. Not like Ricky Bobby. Yeah. i um So you have to go fast and... But see, that's the thing, Whitney. i also don't know to do with my hands, so I often fill them with things.
00:17:31
Speaker
We start in Sonoran Desert, Arizona. Yeah. Very generic. ah And she's driving. this This woman is driving through fog. but No, she's driving behind a van with her headlights off, trying to keep far enough behind, but still see them.
00:17:48
Speaker
So she's not smart. Smart. didn't even see the van. I just thought she was in the fog. She's following their dust trails and staying hidden the dust. was waiting for Tom Atkins to show up and start yelling at people. Look who paid attention.
00:18:00
Speaker
and I was drunk. Um... But there's lights coming up behind her and she's like, oh shit, someone saw me. Here comes a van. It's not a van. It's a 747. It's an airplane. Nearly lands on top of her car.
00:18:15
Speaker
Yep. because then she cuts to her at the hotel or whoever she's talking to, like the handler. She's like, what the fuck? Explain the tire marks on my hood then or my roof. Yeah. What do you mean? There was no plane. Explain those tire marks.
00:18:28
Speaker
And she's speaking Russian. And she's like, dude, I'm leaving Tucson. If you're smart, you will, too. Yep. I think she's talking to Natasha Kinski. I think is what's going I think she's talking to us.
00:18:40
Speaker
like She's like that talking to the audience. She's like, dude, I'm getting the fuck out of Tucson. You should too. I'm just kidding. i love my Tucson. Shitty as we are. i know I can't imagine living somewhere else,
Character Introductions and Dynamics
00:18:50
Speaker
honestly. I can imagine it.
00:18:51
Speaker
He wants to go places. Vivid imagination, though. I just need to find that place where it's never really hot, but it doesn't snow in the winter, and it's also not humid in the summer. um I could do with some snow in the winter. I like i like dealing with it.
00:19:04
Speaker
It's not that I like it. I like dealing with it. I lived in the snow for two years and I was like, well, never doing that. You didn't have me to cuddle with, big boy. It's not the cold that bothered me. It's the yeah wet ice everywhere. You didn't have me to cuddle with, big boy.
00:19:21
Speaker
I love it when you call me big pop. But ah yeah, she gets attacked in her apartment by Kerr, who is played by Christopher McDonald with the blondest hair i have ever seen. Didn't know I needed to see Chris with blonde hair. i thought There's a better look coming up.
00:19:36
Speaker
I thought Joe Pesci with blonde hair was weird in that oh yeah weapon, but this is weird. But I do like seeing Chris McDonald be a bad guy. Yeah. I really like it. like he does this is but Besides Shooter McGavin, obviously, he's a bad guy. But this guy is like a punchy, kicky, stabby bad guy.
00:19:54
Speaker
This is a mustache-twirling, evil bad guy. And I loved every second of it. And of course, for those listening who haven't listened before, we have talked about Chris McDonald. If you want to go back, we talked about him on The Faculty. We talked about him on Flubber.
00:20:08
Speaker
You bet. We talked about him on Dutch. Three Pete. One of these days we're going to get a movie where he's the star. We'll have to do some digging. Yeah. Oh, they exist. It's probably just not a big known one. He goes in there. He's beating the shit out of this lady.
00:20:21
Speaker
Where's your roommate? She's not talking. She gets murked. They leave her in the shower. And it's like she slipped in the shower. It's a bummer, too, because she is KGB-utiful.
00:20:32
Speaker
Yeah, she is. Remember in the 80s and 90s, giant fish tanks were like the thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I had one in here. I had a giant fish tank at one point.
00:20:44
Speaker
My mom had a saltwater fish tank. I got to watch ah seahorses give birth. Oh, it's like popping a pimple underwater. oh now I'm out. it was cra Yeah.
00:20:56
Speaker
Derek was right. Yeah, I was very wrong. I also want to mention that Chris McDonald is obsessed with his car. It's a Cadillac. It's a Cadillac. It's a Cadillac Ooh, I looked them up. I had to go because I, I had to look, go look it up because I loved Charlie Sheen's challenger and I wanted to know what year it was.
00:21:17
Speaker
So I went to the internet movie cars database. They have one for guns, too. Yeah. And I mean, this thing is crazy. It's literally got the make and model of the fucking ah forklift someone is driving.
00:21:30
Speaker
Oh, for sure. Man, I wonder what the trivia is like in this. So she was driving a 1987 Chevy Camaro at the beginning. He's driving a 1990 Cadillac Elante.
00:21:41
Speaker
And chris Charlie Sheen, sorry, is driving a 1970 Dodge Challenger until he steals a 1991 Chevrolet Corvette c four yeah Which we have a bar regular that seems to know everybody that says that he knows this guy. He's a Tucson rich guy with a bunch of nice cars.
00:21:58
Speaker
and I believe it. So like he ends up being in a bunch of movies. If you look up that guy, i guess he's in a bunch of movies because they always need his cars. I mean, um I believe it because he's got a jacket that matches his car. Yes, he does. Yeah.
00:22:11
Speaker
I have a vest that matches my van. Is it naked? fits. It's ah full of holes, but I love it. Sometimes there's tacos in it and you don't remember when they got there.
00:22:22
Speaker
But I'm willing to try a pocket tacos. That's as good as Vangelata is my friend. wo No. Let's see. Corvette owner, Sam Smiley. I know that name. ah No, this guy. Well, he was born in Columbus, Indiana.
00:22:41
Speaker
Oh, there where we go. i It took a minute for thing to come up. ah Oh, he's dead. He died August 15th, 2018 in Tucson, Arizona. Rest in pictures, my dude. Yeah, on his thing here, he's got...
Action Scenes and Plot Twists
00:22:54
Speaker
He's got 13 acting credits. We got Hoosiers, the Untouchables, Night of the Kick Fighters. I'll sign me up for that. hit hit a little save on that. You hit the save button, right?
00:23:06
Speaker
It's got a 3.1 on IMDb, but I'm in. That's a little generous. Billy of the Kid, Border Shootout. A TV show called The Young Riders. I did watch The Young Riders. Four Eyes and Six Guns.
00:23:20
Speaker
Young Riders is great. a Suture, Geronimo, Terminal Velocity. Geronimo. Anytime. And then a TV show called Invasion in which he's in two episodes of three.
00:23:31
Speaker
ah oh Is that a latchkey? I don't know how if I can find it on the internet. It's only three episodes. But that's not till later in the movie. So we are introduced to Charlie Sheen, Mr. Carlos Estevez, skydiving, as we should be.
00:23:49
Speaker
Uh-huh. Skydiving. It's a good introduction to ditch Brody. Yes, it is. Skydiving into downtown Phoenix wearing a Thor helmet and assless chaps.
00:24:01
Speaker
With a fake butt. Yeah.
00:24:04
Speaker
And he skydives into this party and he's like, this a bad bachelorette party? No, it's an eight-year-old's birthday party. For Bernadette. And I think that they didn't show it for a good reason, but I think he's got like a fake penis.
00:24:15
Speaker
Yeah. like All the kids are staring up like... And yeah, it wouldn't just be chaps. You know, there's something... Unless it's just junk all wrapped in leather, and that is gross enough.
00:24:26
Speaker
And I did see... Because I had scrolled through. There's a lot of people who are nobodies in this. Um, one of the girls at the party did go on to act, um, Mo BD as her name.
00:24:40
Speaker
She was born in Phoenix, but she went on to do, it was a lot of commercials, but she did some TV like still recently. She was on some HBO show called hacks. Um, she's in star Wars galactic pals.
00:24:54
Speaker
Is that what you guys are galactic pals? Oh yeah. And she was in an episode of rook the rookie feds. Oh, I watched that. She was one episode, Bree something.
00:25:06
Speaker
But she went on to be an actress and she's from Arizona. I'm giving her some credit. three a And did you guys recognize the news anchor that's reporting on Charlie Sheen? Everybody who ever lived in Tucson knows who Martha Vasquez Thank you very much.
00:25:25
Speaker
She is a delightful person, by the way. I did get to meet her. oh i by I mean, I worked at Osco, and she would shop at my store. Delightful. shoes She was a ah news anchor here in Tucson on KVOA for...
00:25:40
Speaker
Ever my whole life. And yeah, like I think 2012 2011. Yeah. And we go to the skydiving school and we meet Joe, who is uncredited in this movie, but is an actress that we personally have seen before and will definitely be talking about on the podcast one day.
00:25:59
Speaker
Joe, my name is Joe, the girl that runs the ah flight school. Oh, OK. And yelling at him. She's not in the credits. Why? I don't know. But her name is Margaret. Margaret Collin.
00:26:12
Speaker
She is in Independence Day. She's Jeff Goldblum's ex-wife and the White House communications director. oh yeah So she's like a main character there. She kind of she could be sisters with Flubber's wife.
00:26:24
Speaker
I can see that. And she did you watch Amos and Andrew with me? I think you did. Right. With Nick Cage and Sam Jackson. No, I thought you did. i so She plays. ah She's the one of the women who causes all the trouble like this. It's a husband and wife team. Always a woman causing trouble.
00:26:40
Speaker
it's It's a husband and wife team. Michael Lerner and her. Michael Lerner is Mayor Ebert from ah Godzilla 98. Gotcha. They call they call the police because they see Sam Jackson and they're in a house and they're like, black people don't live in see i saw the end of that.
00:26:55
Speaker
But yeah, we find out the FAA is hitting them with a bunch of violations. It's the most violations anybody's ever had. Charlie Sheen is pretty proud of that record breaker. I don't want to sound like a brag or nothing, but I've been shot down more than this.
00:27:09
Speaker
Oh, and we get the Charlie Sheen, you know, his I felt like he was bordering on hot shots here in this. OK, because some of his quips like she's like no more base jumps, no more bungee jumps, no more low altitude poles because you're going to bounce.
00:27:25
Speaker
Can I put the Q-tip in my ear or just around it? Yeah. You're just running edge and we meet broken legs, Max. Yeah. Which is what she's credited as.
00:27:36
Speaker
I actually really, well, first of all, she's gorgeous. That's why I had to put my name as hers. Backwards hat. I looked her up. But I love that, just to cut, spoil things, she's broken legs here. At the end of the movie, she's her legs are fine. she's got two broken arms. like This chick is just a fucking klutz.
00:27:54
Speaker
It'd be great if she's not even a skydiver. No, she's not. Like, what happened? Oh, I just fell in the kitchen. Got real excited. Started running like Scooby-Doo. I'm the cook for the skydiving school. What does a cook at the skydiving school do? I make sandwiches.
00:28:07
Speaker
Turkey sandwiches. That's it. What happened? French dips. Rough. But she needs Ditch to do a lesson for a new student. ah Chris Morrow, played by Natasha Kinski.
00:28:22
Speaker
um who's in a great movie called Paris, Texas. If you have ah two and a half hours or so, it's excellent. I do. It's one of the few movies, one of the two movies that stars. um God damn it. Why am I blanking on his name? I love the guy.
00:28:38
Speaker
Danny DeVito. No, Harry Dean Stanton. Harry Dean Stanton. Thank you. God. It's one of his two starring roles. I don't know how I pulled that. just I just felt it. Is that? ah yeah I know who that is. Never mind. We'll be talking about him when we do down Periscope.
00:28:55
Speaker
My cat's favorite movie. And he co-star he does co-star in a movie with Emilio Estevez called Repo Man, but he's not. oh yeah. um And then she's also in a movie called Dotcom for Murder. So don't change the dial because I've seen it and it's bad.
00:29:11
Speaker
Alright, Paul, so I think it's time we, uh, you know, made a trailer. Do we have to? Like, yeah people keep asking, so we're gonna deliver. Well, what are we supposed to do in this damn trailer? You know, we're just gonna talk about shit we do here. we theme our months, right? Like, what do we...
00:29:25
Speaker
I mean, I know we've done stuff like musicals and animation months and creature features, all sorts of stuff, but is that what you're talking about? Yeah, it's something kind of like that that I'm probably going to sit there and tell people, you know, we're on all social medias. We're on the Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok, and it's all under Flicks and Friends Podcast.
00:29:44
Speaker
Yeah, I guess so, if they're not tired of hearing that by now. Yeah. So, but yeah, that'll work. Should we press record? Yeah, let's let's press record right now.
00:29:54
Speaker
If you really enjoy listening to bad movies, worse people, just so you know, we do have Patreon. We have two different tiers. That's right. Patreon.com slash worst people. We have a $3 tier. We get early access to Han Took Shots First, our Star Wars podcast. You get a monthly newsletter.
00:30:10
Speaker
You get archived episodes that are no longer available on the main feed. Plus, you get our monthly mental health episodes. which we need and yeah we do. And there's also $5 tier where you get all of that content.
00:30:21
Speaker
Plus you get ad free episodes from the main feed and you get access to latch key vids, which is our recap show about forgotten or never known television shows from the nineties like cop rock too soon, man. It was just too early. It's a beautiful thing.
00:30:37
Speaker
It is a beautiful thing. So check out patrion.com slash worst people help support this crazy endeavor. Thank you. Thank you. And ah the lady, this lady, Chris claims it's her first time. She's less than skydiving.
00:30:50
Speaker
He's like, how about Friday? Well, if I don't do it today, I'm going to lose my nerve. Yeah. I mean, as an audience, we know, right? Like, at least I know obvious. At least I did. Like, I don't want to sound like I was the Oracle, but it's pretty obvious. Right.
00:31:03
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I forgot to mention. I remembered a lot about this because when I paid money to rent this from Prime, because we didn't mention that last week, but it's not streaming anywhere. You have to rent it from Amazon and you have to type in the entire name.
00:31:17
Speaker
Yeah. I typed in terminal Vell and it gave me an app for like. diagnostic something it didn't even give me terminal velocity that's because it's vertical terminosity that's why you look you searched wrong you sound like because it's Hollywood Pictures which is Disney and they're like let's forget this never happened no way is there not a 4k of this because of that yeah I'm or even a blu-ray gonna happen yeah There is a Blu-ray out there, but it's not like any kind of boutique and it's hard to get. I so i found it on Amazon. It was like $45. I was like, oh, no.
00:31:50
Speaker
i then i might I just want to own this. So I might spend the 15 digitally eventually. Yeah, I almost bought it digitally because I was like, well, now I've spent $8 to watch this movie. I'm halfway there. Exactly.
Balancing Comedy and Action
00:32:00
Speaker
like The next time that I go to rent it, I'm just going to send it.
00:32:04
Speaker
Question. What happens if ah you purchase it digitally from Amazon? And then Amazon ceases to continue. Well, yeah, that's why I don't do digital typically because your digital shit can disappear.
00:32:18
Speaker
There's just no chance in this world that I outlive Amazon. Okay. And he can't take money with you. Oh, my thing is more of just outliving the rights their rights to having it or their need to keep it in their servers. Sure.
00:32:32
Speaker
That's my main concern. Well, I'll start downloading those. um So he does agree to take her up for her first lesson doing to do a tandem jump. All busted, Jerry. I love that she's like, oh, you mean like that? And points this poster.
00:32:45
Speaker
And it's a guy riding a busty woman. And it says, of ah do tandem jump her bones. Yeah. um Can I find like another school like just anywhere else? This is you've got porn on the wall about banging chicks while you're skydiving.
00:33:01
Speaker
And this lady is so obvious because she's like, um that's cool. But I heard about this thing called static line. And I'm like, I've watched two skydiving movies this month. and This is the first time I've heard that word.
00:33:11
Speaker
I don't know what ahve I've never heard of static line except. I know it's static line is from military movies. OK, I don't. It's just the thing that you hook up that as soon as you jump, your chute goes.
00:33:23
Speaker
Oh, okay. That's what it is. There's there's literally ah a line going. That's what that's called. It's not a carabiner, but it's whatever clip. it Maybe it is a carabiner. It's a breakaway. So that way, as soon as you exit that plane, your chute's already gone.
00:33:36
Speaker
And this is, I believe at the time that was true, like your first jump ever has to be one of those. Like you either get no free fall or you get, yeah it was it was one or the other. I've always heard that you had to do tandem at first.
00:33:47
Speaker
I think it used to be that you could do this as well. And in lieu of, I mean, it's possible. I don't, again, as I said last week, ain't going to happen. him Yeah. i might I'm not jumping out of a plane unless there's, ah you know, it's being taken over.
00:34:01
Speaker
We can do that. We can cosplay. We can role play. Your safe word going to be Geronimo. We meet this guy, Robocam, who doesn't really matter except for the you know he's got a ah big story point. His his work does.
00:34:14
Speaker
Yeah. His filmography. But he's a guy named Sully McCullough in real life. And the only thing I really recognized was he's in Don't Be a Menace, <unk> etc.
00:34:25
Speaker
as Crazy Legs. Okay. Do yourself a favor at home. Look up him because I don't know what that IMDb photos from, but it's great. What's his name? Sully S-U-L-L-I McCullough M-C-C-U-L-L-O-U-G-H.
00:34:40
Speaker
But it's like he's cosplaying as a cracked out Hulk Hogan. But he's talking to this guy and he's like, you know, I'm thinking because she he's should I record her? She doesn't want me to whatever.
00:34:52
Speaker
And i'm he's like, Charlie Sheen. I'm thinking we jump, get a Coke. I call her for dinner. And then they both at the same time. Yada, yada, yada. Yeah, I love it. They have like a whole plan of just this is what we do, man. Pretend to bond on our way down. And then ah I get to go down.
00:35:09
Speaker
i like that. I like that a lot. Girl, I'm going to eat you out so much. I'm going to throat cancer. here you go it's not easy to see oh man you gotta find that it's like if if sam elliott and hulk hogan had a black baby you tell you what brother
00:35:34
Speaker
you have to curse so freaking much brother So they go up for the jump. He gives her a little thing that'll beep when you're too close to the ground. Eight seconds. And this is when he's like, come here and sit between my legs. You get the best view in the house. And she's like, why do you pretend that's all you're about?
00:35:48
Speaker
Yeah, like, yeah, he's like, I'm because she's like, it would be stupid to trust my life to walk to a walking penis. And I'm not stupid. This pilot's laughing. You know who this pilot is?
00:35:59
Speaker
I do because I saw the credits and I misread them and I was waiting the entire time for Mario Van Peebles to show up. And it's Melvin Van Peebles. ah ah Some relation. Enlighten us that don't know who Melvin Van Peebles is.
00:36:14
Speaker
I just know it was Mario Van People's dad. Yeah, he's very over and people's dad He was in the TV version of the shining the one that they did with ah the guy from wings I think okay, he was in jaws the revenge as well as his son that's The fourth one yeah um But yeah, he's Mario Van People's dad
00:36:39
Speaker
He was also in the Hebrew Hammer. Saw that one. I i would subscribe to Peeble Magazine.
00:36:46
Speaker
But, oh my God, bad movies, worse Peeble.
00:36:51
Speaker
A whole month of Peebles. Ha ha ha. But ah Charlie Sheen's retort to her is I'm not just a walking penis. I'm a flying penis. I believe him.
00:37:03
Speaker
If anybody has fucked while skydiving in this universe, it's him. Yeah. Like in this movie universe. Yeah. Also in real life. But there's this thing where she's like, hey, I think I saw another plane. So he goes to ask Melvin Van van Peebles about it.
00:37:19
Speaker
And he goes back. She's gone. Looks out the plane door. And there's a bright orange jumpsuit. Very clear dummy plummeting to the ground. I mean, also laid on thick.
00:37:30
Speaker
She was very adamant about wearing this orange jumpsuit. Yeah, exactly. Old broken legs. Max was like, oh, no, this one's going to be but that one's a little big. This is like tight fitting. Everybody in this place is horny.
00:37:41
Speaker
Yeah. Everybody's just trying to safety thing. Nah, because she gave up real quick. She's like, the orange will be fine. She's like, yeah, well. Yeah, because when you're falling, when you're skydiving, it's going to suck it all back against you anyway.
00:37:53
Speaker
We'll see all them bits. if you See all them bits. All right, RoboCam, calm down. But it's weird because it's falling much like a dummy, and then it hits the ground really hard, much like a dummy. Yeah, because it's a dead body, guys.
00:38:08
Speaker
Well, because people who jump out of planes are dummies. Hey-o. I'm going to throw this at All right. he quit flinching guys name or her sex tape i think i actually need to start hitting him but we talked to robocam we talked to robocam and he's traumatized because he's like bro i was down here filming a girl's landing thing yeah i watched that chick bounce we used to joke that when when a newbie would hit they would dig in like wile coyote he's like i'm not joking about that anymore Yeah, which is kind of fucked up, but I guess that's like the same thing as like a surgeon or a cop, right? You got to make jokes about the fucked up shit. You know, I think that's the joke is they've never seen it. They were like, we we always joke that a newbie would do that.
00:38:51
Speaker
And he's like, now that I just saw somebody fucking bounce off the earth, I'm done. That's not funny. It was funny, though. It was funny. But the FAA comes to investigate and Charlie Sheen's like, I swear to God, Melvin Van Peebles, I i put the dope rope on her, which is a cool name.
00:39:08
Speaker
Yeah. And he's like, all I'm saying is maybe the pretty lady distracted you and you're thinking with ah little Charlie and not big Carlos. Right. Big Carlos is his brain. yeah I guess little Carlos is his penis and big Charlie is his brain.
00:39:23
Speaker
i Yeah, I don't know,
Character Development and Humor
00:39:25
Speaker
man. I think this guy's got a bigger dick than does brain, and I think he's got a big dick. Just saying. And he's like, what do you want me to tell them that maybe she unhooked herself? I didn't see anything.
00:39:36
Speaker
And that's what Charlie Sheen's like, unhooked herself, you say. Wait a minute. Huh. didn't even think of that possibility. He goes through all her shit, finds a photo of the roommate, finds her ID.
00:39:48
Speaker
2201 High Desert Road, Tucson, Arizona. You better believe I Googled it. It doesn't exist. ah There is 2201 High Desert Trail in They did this just in case the movie took off. They're like, we don't want to create another Goonies house situation where people are showing up to the house from vertical terminosity all the time.
00:40:06
Speaker
and buging the game Unlike Breaking Bad, where they're like, the people who live in that house are like, please stop throwing pizzas on a roof. Yeah. Oh, dude, i' would make a great day of that. Or life. Come on over. Don't bring anything.
00:40:18
Speaker
Pizzas will be delivered. There we go. We can do some rooftop drinking. Gross shit on it. Like, I don't know. Yeah. um Well, there's if there's enough for being thrown up there... i tried I can afford to be picky.
00:40:30
Speaker
Like I said, when i tried to look this place up, I looked at what was that 2201 high desert trail. it's a It's called Desert Sanctuary, and it's a yoga place. And I went down to like the street view, and it's literally beyond. like The street view goes up to a fence, and it's way back on some private property in the middle of the desert.
00:40:48
Speaker
So that's some ah Charles Manson shit going on back there. I had to start doing more yoga recently because your wife shamed me. How did I shame you? 100% on accident. But you walked in. You went, why do you a yoga mat?
00:41:00
Speaker
but Because I do yoga. You do yoga. And now I had make more use out of it. Well, at least it wasn't you do yoga. It was like that. I mean, like, it was. like it was i have a man of I think it was more of her just being like, yoga's for losers. Yeah. You yoga you see this hair? That's yoga hair, girl.
00:41:20
Speaker
He does it because it sounds a lot like Yoda. He's not wrong. so you're doing Yoda? Uh-huh. I do my best Yoda pose, which is when I tuck myself in and fade away. I was going to say you get on somebody's back and tell them where to go. Rocking and rolling.
00:41:37
Speaker
Down to the beach, I'm strolling. That's why you have long arms to like rip around the body. Long arms and legs. like im serious There is not a lot of people in this world that want to fucking give me a piggyback ride is all I'm going to say.
00:41:52
Speaker
I offered last night. Yeah, I didn't feel like picking you up off the ground after I collapse on you. um was going to go full boneless. So he goes to investigate her apartment and it's like, we're definitely American in this apartment because you get a crate full of Bruce Springsteen albums. That's what I got from that was it's like this is their The Americans cover.
00:42:12
Speaker
They're undercover Russians. So they're like, what do Americans like? Bruce Springsteen. Everybody loves Bruce Springsteen in America. Now it'd be Kid Rock. And Chris McDonald hits him really hard with the tank lid of a toilet seat. or a toilet This is the better look, by the way. He's got this black leather jacket going.
00:42:31
Speaker
He's got the bleach blonde hair, pink latex gloves. And I love it. love that he chose pink latex gloves. He's peacocking. He's like for hitman. peacocking. He's got his fucking Cadillac. That's all red and bright.
00:42:45
Speaker
Excuse me. He's got his bleach blonde hair. He's got his fucking pink latex gloves. He wants to stand out while he lives in the shadows. Well, he even says it with his car later. He's like, people notice it.
00:42:55
Speaker
Yeah. That's saying. Peacock. Gotta let him fly. I do love his, his delivery. When Charlie Sheen's like, who the hell are you? And he's like, here's my card and whips out this knife.
00:43:06
Speaker
That's pretty fucking good. He takes the knife though. Oh, yeah. Charlie Sheen snatches that shit. He should have stabbed him before he ran away. And whatever hotel or apartment this is, they need to make some smaller ledges because this these fit a full-size Charlie Sheen and a full-size Chris McDonald just running along these ledges. i think it's pretty dope.
00:43:26
Speaker
They knew. This is like before scaffolding window washers. Like, we got to put somebody out there, dude. We got to give him room. But don't give him a guardrail. Let's go very Death Star. I was just going say that. It was designed by...
00:43:39
Speaker
Valenians. No. Geonosians. Daldenians. Geonosians. Pablo the lesser, if you might.
00:43:51
Speaker
um But he dips out of there in his bitchin' challenger. Bitchin' is the right word, by the way. Off to this junkyard to meet a guy who exists in this script so that we can have a rocket car. Yep.
00:44:03
Speaker
I'm okay with it. I do wish it was, oh, fuck, what's his name? Ganey. Ganey. MC Ganey MC Ganey. I kind of wish it was him, right? This guy is played by someone named han Hans House.
00:44:15
Speaker
ah He was in Harley Davidson the Marlboro Man, but I don't I'm assuming he's maybe just like a bar guy or something. Yeah. I love what he's like looking at the knife, telling him all about it. And he's like, oh, these markings, they're Cyrillic from Syria, from Syria.
00:44:30
Speaker
Are you being Cyrillic right now? And this guy, Sam, is just like, look, I don't have time to deal with your shit. Charlie Sheen. Are you going to sell me the knife are you going to fuck out of my face? I mean, so this guy has a working relationship with Charlie Sheen. He's buying stuff off him.
00:44:43
Speaker
Yeah. Like he goes through, he goes through like the pair, the, the, uh, skydivers purses and personal belongings. It's the shit they drop when they're skydiving. He goes down and collects it afterward.
00:44:54
Speaker
huh. That makes sense. How many fucking different sets of dentures do you need? I'm going to build a Gary Busey style army of squirrels. This guy is just, just imagine a bunch of squirrels with like Gary Busey has teeth. Terrifying, terrifying. Yes. That's how you get nightmares, dude.
00:45:12
Speaker
This guy is building a rocket car that's on rails. It goes about 350 miles an hour. It's more of a rocket train if it's on rails. But we're we you splitting hairs here, dude. Well, it's just it's honestly it's a jet without wings. yeah It's a it's a rocket chair.
00:45:27
Speaker
Let's call what it is. it's a rocket chair on a track to death. He's working on his first Star Wars speeder. you couldn't even You couldn't even have this track end like gently. It's literally cutting ahead. It's a sign with a smiley face that said, had a nice day.
00:45:44
Speaker
This guy is planning on killing himself with this thing. Charlie Sheen even says, you're going to kill yourself. And he's like, yeah, but what a ride. So it all it's doing is setting up that when he does, spoiler, he's going to die. When he does die, we're okay with it because that's what he wanted anyway.
00:45:58
Speaker
Yes. He wanted to go out with a bang and this motherfucker do. He's like, I never thought I'd make it to 40. And here I am at 1994, 52. Building a rocket chair. looks like he's about 70. So I'm going to call it 1994, 52. Yeah.
00:46:10
Speaker
Did he build a rocket chair on his front porch? Yeah. Yeah. to sit in my rocket chair. Just get these kids off my lawn. but I'm going to sit on my rocket chair in the front porch and launch myself into the sunset.
00:46:24
Speaker
Sounds phenomenal. He times it out so as soon as he hits the wall is right when the sun goes down. When the sun goes down. I love it.
00:46:35
Speaker
There's a plane flying around and he notices it. Doesn't really think of it this time. Right. He goes back to the school. It's where we meet James Gandolfini playing Ben Pinkwater, deputy DA a of Tucson.
00:46:46
Speaker
This is some of my favorite Gandolfini because we know he's hiding something. But when he's trying to be this like nerd, timid guy, fucking great. Well, he's great because he's always he's got nasal spray and he's like chewing on shit and he's doing eye drops.
00:47:01
Speaker
But even when he's when he's questioning Charlie Sheen and he's like, yeah, I don't know anything about the girl or whatever. You see him look like you see the. the character that the character is playing break.
00:47:12
Speaker
Yes. Yes. Like James Gandolfini is playing a guy, playing a guy, and you can tell, and that's kind of the point. And I love it. When he gets to the soda machine, he looks back at him and he's like, I would drop the attitude if I were you. And it's like just a very haunting thing where it's like...
00:47:26
Speaker
Gandolfini is not hiding it well and ah in a good and a purposeful way though yeah I like when Charlie Sheen's recapping he's like alright look I'm a pretty decent guy so this wet dream of a person comes in i like you can't describe a woman as a wet dream of a person 1994 you can you can't you you can i shouldn't You shouldn't.
00:47:49
Speaker
You shouldn't. Unless you're another woman. I think Whitney can get away with it more than we could. if if anybody was asking about like a bar customer, it's like, oh, this wet dream just sat down and ordered a beer, like, ugh, Jack?
00:48:01
Speaker
Ew. Whitney, hand me hand. I'm going to that when some of our regulars come in and be like, look at this wet dream of a person. But it's more like ah someone who drank too much and has undiagnosed diabetes. Wet dream. Yeah, I know the type.
00:48:12
Speaker
I like his thing where he's like, um what does Charlie Sheen say? I think she did for bullshit what Stonehenge did for rocks. I like that. That's good. That's good. I like that. Why don't I get it?
00:48:24
Speaker
Because Stonehenge is really just kind of nothing place, but everyone thinks it's all magical and spiritual, so they love rocks now. Okay, that's what... And she's doing big bullshit, like big rocks.
00:48:35
Speaker
Okay. That's kind of what I thought, but I was like, that's not. If I'm wrong, correct me. It's either a poorly written David Tui line or it's a well-improvised Charlie Sheen line. Yeah.
00:48:47
Speaker
He's just all fucking coked out of his gorge like, ooh, that's funny. I'm to say that. I'm going to that tomorrow. And he's got the, you know, Gandolfini's like, is there any pictures or video of what happened? And so you're already sitting there going. So he's involved.
00:48:59
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. was Oh, yeah. The second you have this guy break characters character, like you said. Yeah. OK, well, he's definitely not fucking D.A. Yeah. And Charlie Sheen's like, no, no video that I know of. Cut to Charlie Sheen watching Robocam's video.
00:49:16
Speaker
yeah And he sees that there was a second plane. I thought we were about to film a porn because it cuts to this chick and he's like, she's like, I'm always natural.
Skydiving Scene Realism
00:49:24
Speaker
So the first time that I don't know, I just like it. I'm like, this is getting really sexual.
00:49:29
Speaker
Not bad. You heard RoboCam and Ditch's conversation earlier. Yeah, that's what they do. They fuck these chicks. All right. All right. All right. I mean, you're going through an exhilarating, life-changing seconds of life. That's why Robocam really wants to be there. He's like, I even offered the Natasha Kinski a discount price.
00:49:50
Speaker
He wants to be there when they land. So when they're their adrenaline's flowing and they're all juiced up, he's the first one they see. Yeah. Different term. Please. Juiced up, dude. Don't like it.
00:50:02
Speaker
Moist. I like that more. i meant like adrenaline juices, not vagina juices. Adrenaline juices the worst way to talk about sweat.
00:50:14
Speaker
oh God, i got adrenaline juice all over me. He notices the second plane. Licking up armpits. He hears the plane flying overhead again, and he goes out, and it's the same plane from earlier. So he's like, all right, time to chase this plane on a motorcycle, much like Iron Eagle.
00:50:29
Speaker
Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. Yeah. yeah Also Top Gun. Yeah. But Iron Eagle did it cooler. Didn't have Tom Cruise. That's why.
00:50:40
Speaker
Well, because they're actually like racing side by side in the plane and the motorcycle. And Tom Cruise is actually just driving his motorcycle and looking at a plane. So he gets to this abandoned gas station. He finds the jumpsuit cameras and an article about his skydiving mishap downtown. Yep.
00:50:57
Speaker
And then he gets jumped by this guy that looks like Lurch. Uh huh. I thought I knew him. His name is Lex played by guy named Gary Bullock. ah He's in RoboCop two and three. Yeah. And he's in species.
00:51:10
Speaker
That's the stuff I recognized from his credits. It's not who I think it is. I think there's a guy that looks like him that is in a lost. Maybe. i don't know. I just, I didn't go too deep into who I thought was. I didn't, I didn't go that far through his stuff. I mean, he could have been in lost. This director directed some lost.
00:51:26
Speaker
Okay. He's like, Hey, Lurch, I need you. I mean, Lex, I mean, Gary, I need Lurch Luther.
00:51:34
Speaker
But it turns out their whole thing was they had this other plane over his plane. Blind spot. She jumped out and did like a max spiral or some shit they call it. I don't To get really far away from the drop zone so nobody ever looked for her.
00:51:47
Speaker
Yeah. And then dropped the other body out of the plane. The other plane, which is the roommate's body. So that it was still a blonde woman who hit the ground. Yep. And. Charlie Sheen's like, what about the corner?
00:51:59
Speaker
And Natasha Kinski is like, don't you remember? You're in vertical terminosity. And she yells it. ah She does yell vertical terminosity. i know Charlie Sheen's thing. He's like, OK, cool.
00:52:10
Speaker
So so far, you fooled a guy who can't shave his sideburns evenly. Yeah. ah How did you trick the corner and the police and all this stuff? Hello. Why would the corner?
00:52:21
Speaker
Well, why would they check fingerprints when you're all standing around telling them it was my body? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's at the corner. He was somebody else. Because like, well, now I'm just going to go tell him to check.
00:52:32
Speaker
You know, that too late. Cremated. ah How'd you get it? Cremated. Oh, the so and so funeral director. And he's like, that's me. I did that. So she's like, I'll help you prove that I'm alive and get out of trouble. But you have to come help me with something.
00:52:46
Speaker
And they go and get on a plane and she slaps him in the ass to get him back for earlier for his sexual harassment. She's like, come on, buddy. to the problem it The problem is, though, like you can't. She didn't slip a finger. You can't sexually harass somebody like this because he just loves it.
00:53:00
Speaker
Yeah. It's reaffirming his ah but his thoughts on his behavior. I mean, it goes throughout this, right? because I mean, later on, he's like, I believed your story about your three-legged dog because I thought I was going to get laid.
00:53:11
Speaker
didn't think it was real. I didn't say anything cause i thought i was going to get my fucking wiener wet. Yeah. So they do this night jump, which looks really cool. Smelly adrenaline juices. I like that they shot this probably at dawn, not at sunset, like, yeah, but like because you can see the silhouettes of the people against the sky and much like last week's episode, you know, there's the close ups of the actors that are very clearly green screen, but the sky pranks are real.
00:53:38
Speaker
The close ups. The only thing that looks a little janky. Everything else looks fucking great. My question is, why did the one person pull the shoot on the other person?
00:53:48
Speaker
Yeah, they have Natasha Kinski pull his shoot, and I don't know why. Maybe she's like, this is the height we need to be at. But then immediately they're talking on like headsets. so she could have just told him. I don't know. It's kind of the thing where she's cool is what I told Whitney. She asked me while we were watching. i was like, it looks like that because I like that of the two people approaching and she pulls out the shoe. The other thing could be, though, because she's not giving him a lot of details. She's very like, I'll tell you in the air.
00:54:14
Speaker
We'll do this. tv baby So she's controlling him. Like, I don't know. Maybe maybe because he is a flying penis. She's like, I'm going fucking just kind of rule this guy a little bit. Yeah. But they they go to some facility.
00:54:27
Speaker
Who cares? And she's like, all right, you see the roof? Don't land on that. He's like, the roof? Easy peasy. Yeah, don't land on that. Oh, what? Yeah, land inside of a smokestack. With this wind?
00:54:39
Speaker
He does it. Bing, bing. Yeah, he does it, but he fucking lands hard. He bonks. he's couple times. heavy bonks. Just imagine being one of these security guards. Like, just hear that? Big metal fucking bonk.
00:54:52
Speaker
She knows there's no security guards, so that's why they're good to go. But because there's a lot of security, there's electrified fence, there's motion sensors, there's all that kind of shit. um But yeah, she directs him through the facility here, shut off the electric fence, but he's not a spy like her, so he keeps doing stupid shit. Like, he shuts off the breaker for the electric fence, leaves the breaker box open. yeah yeah He gets into the office. I love the... ah I found the safe.
00:55:18
Speaker
And she's like, ignore the safe. That's just for idiots. Yeah. He has to steal this tube that's hidden inside of the hanger pole, which is a good idea. You put it right above the safe and people are trying to get in the safe. Yeah, it is. it's I would have fallen for it.
00:55:31
Speaker
Yeah. And now I'm going to spend the rest of my night when we're done with this hollowing out all my ah my hangers rods. Just don't put too much weight on them. Damn it. I'm out.
00:55:43
Speaker
Oh, do you like to hang off of them? Yeah. I like to play Georgia in the jungle right into my closet. That's what I was about to say. I get in my bedroom, but sometimes I pretend I'm a monkey. Yeah, right. I take my shirt off and I think I'm Brendan Fraser from that movie. Get real.
00:55:58
Speaker
More like the whale, am I right? Yeah. Just kidding. No. i Sadly, I'm closer to the whale than I am to Georgia in the jungle. That would be easier for me to hit.
00:56:09
Speaker
Yeah. ah Well, it's more fun. He's a he's a fucking Adonis in that Georgia jungle. That's an unfair look for any human. ah Chris McDonald and his cohorts have showed up. They find the fence and they turn it back on.
00:56:24
Speaker
Ditch sneaks out the window right as Chris McDonald goes in and they see him on the cameras. So she gets she bails. She's like, you're on your own, dude. Fuck me then, I guess.
00:56:35
Speaker
but I don't know where I'm at. I don't know where I'm going. And I got people shooting at me. She doesn't care, but he's still just a flying penis to her. Yeah. So he uses his strengths and he goes up to the roof, pops out his chute, his other chute, I guess, and base jumps off this fucking building, barely missing that razor wire, which is. Oh, yeah. done Yeah.
00:56:57
Speaker
Fucking Chris McDonald's is shooting at him is just emptying the clip trying to fucking get this guy. Yeah. um So she ends up calling him at the jump school and he's like, well, those guys speak in Russian.
00:57:11
Speaker
If you tell me it's French, but I love you. No, he definitely is one to prove. He's like, I speak French, bitch. know if you know that about me.
00:57:22
Speaker
Oh, my God. We didn't talk about the fucking Olympics magazine. Oh, i I think I had it later on with the ah trading cards. that Yeah. But he it starts with the the girl that um so is at Independence Day. Yada, yada, Joe, Joe.
00:57:39
Speaker
Like it's her. She's like making fun of it. and it's like, why don't you ever tell us? It's like, see that haircut. That's why it's this. It's not a different haircut than he has right now. Right. No, just look it didn't look any different.
00:57:52
Speaker
They just took a picture of an actual gymnast and glued Charlie Sheen's head on Yeah, because he's supposed to be 18 or 19. Yeah. yeah In what world?
00:58:05
Speaker
The 80s Olympics. um Not looking like that. Not steroids. He tells her to come meet her meet at Sam's junkyard there. He calls James Gandolfini because he's like, i need a witness.
00:58:20
Speaker
And goes over to meet her. Gandolfini disappears. little sneaky sneaky spy stuff. Yeah, this guy Lex is chilling with a sniper rifle in the plane. And Gandolfini takes him out.
00:58:33
Speaker
And he's speaking Russian to, you know, rockamrockam.
00:58:40
Speaker
I don't know Russian. There you hey go And um McDonald and his goons show up and there's a big shootout.
Leslie Nielsen's Comedic Style
00:58:49
Speaker
And Charlie's seen the whole time. They're not going fuck with my car, are they?
00:58:53
Speaker
This fucking car gets obliterated. not going fuck with it. They're going to make it cease to exist. Well, it's his buddy that exploders it. Well, yeah, but even before, they filled that thing with so many holes. They took out all the tires, all the glass.
00:59:07
Speaker
But hey, you know what? It's a good thing he drives that old car because if he was driving a newer car, those bullets would have gone through both sides and they'd all be dead. True. True. ah Yeah, Sam comes out like, what the fuck's going on in his long underwear? And he's like, oh, there's a shootout?
00:59:23
Speaker
I've got the right thing for this. I'll be right back. i God, I was having the best dream Jack, do you have this bazooka? I don't have a bazooka. I wish I had any bazooka.
00:59:34
Speaker
ah Yeah, Bada Boom's the car. And Charlie Sheen's like, the cylinder is in. Kaboom. My car. My car.
00:59:47
Speaker
But they use the rocket car to escape the rocket whatever. This goes on way too long. The rocket ride? Yeah. Because it keeps cutting for probably, it feels like a minute way too long where it's like their faces, him trying to hit the switch, the wall, their faces, switch, wall, face, switch, wall. It's just too much of it.
01:00:07
Speaker
I do appreciate the fact that it had dummies strapped in when it was going by. Yes. I like that a lot. But yeah, like, you know, just kind of cut a little short. And this gave me again, like Hot Shots vibes with like, and I know they're treating it seriously, but like when they're going and their faces are being pushed back and like, Oh, remind me of Spies Like Us.
01:00:26
Speaker
I think that might've been part of the problem with this movie. And part of the reason it didn't connect with people is can't find its tone. Like, is this a spy thriller? Is this a comedy? Is this an action movie? Yeah.
01:00:38
Speaker
It's it's kind of all of them, which means it's none of them. And I think Charlie Sheen is the problem with that tone, because at this point, people are expecting him to be in a comedy.
01:00:49
Speaker
Because like in Hot Shots, he is trying to be funny, but it's that dry, serious, straight. Zucker Brothers fucking Leslie Nielsen. Or not Police Academy, um naked gun thing where it's like straight acting surrounded by ridiculous things. That's what made your wife just said Leslie Nielsen. That's what made him so great was he was delivering punchlines, but he was just always talking.
01:01:12
Speaker
He was dry as can be. but They are speeding toward the wall, and i do I do appreciate that the guy painted had a nice day on it. Yeah. because he's He's planning on dying. i mean, I think he's got the ejector there because he's like, I'll do the ejection, but he's going to do it at the latest possible second.
01:01:30
Speaker
So mean, that's why you had the switch so far away instead of a pull rip cord. Yeah, there you go. He's not 100 percent sure he's going to make it. So he's like, he doesn't want to die. He's OK with it.
Desert Scene and Russian Gold Plot
01:01:41
Speaker
But they they go off and hide. ah Well, though they're going through the desert. And this is where she tells them everybody is. All these people are former KGB. And he reveals to her that he was on the 80s Olympics team.
01:01:53
Speaker
And he's got this Sports Illustrated trading card of himself. And he gives it to her and she gives it back. And he's like, I've got more. Keep it. Which is funny. but So you hated this. You didn't want to tell anybody you work with. But you have enough of these in your wallet. just hand them out to bitches?
01:02:07
Speaker
Yeah. It's it's for when when his other lines aren't working. He's like, well, I was in the on the Olympics team. All right. I guess. Because it means at least you're flexible and strong. Exactly. that core strength for fucking.
01:02:19
Speaker
They hide out in this abandoned adobe house, which someone who doesn't live in Arizona might be like, there's just an abandoned house in the middle of the desert. Yeah. Yes. there There are a lot of them. Yep.
01:02:29
Speaker
Without a roof is perfect. Yes. I was just going to say. No roof, no windows. Like it' it's just still got stuff hanging on the walls. Like there's like a here's the thing. sort Here's the thing you're not going to do, though. You're not going to trust an opened bottle of liquor left behind, especially when it's the same color as urine.
01:02:48
Speaker
Thank you. i would He sniffed it first. He did. He knew that there's some urine, but he knew the ratio is OK. Yeah. He's like, it hasn't shifted yet. All right. i and we Trust me, I'm a urine. I'm a urine liquor bottle specialist.
01:03:05
Speaker
And we get her real name, Krista Moldova. So they they drink tequila and bond. She drinks the worm. Well, mezcal, my friend, it's got worm. Yeah, she drinks the worm in the bottom of the bottle. I'm used to swallowing things.
01:03:17
Speaker
Yeah, I was was trained to swallow a lot of things. And Shane's like, oh, okay. I'm going to marry you. yeah This is getting pretty turnt up here in this little adobe house.
01:03:29
Speaker
So they kissy kissy. She reaches down for his dong and finds the cylinder. And she's like, are you fucking kidding me? You had this the whole time? Americans are so uncultured. Yeah. Americans are uncultured. I just drank a worm out of an open tequila bottle in the desert and was about to fuck this dude. But yeah, but that's a Mexican thing.
01:03:48
Speaker
Um,
01:03:51
Speaker
um But this disc in the cylinder goes into some computer thing she has. It shows where the plane went. He's so excited about this technology, this shitty little fucking 3D thing. He's like, what the fuck? This amazing. This is great.
01:04:06
Speaker
Where'd you get a virtual Because was on a little disc this big. And he's like, all this information? Wait till this guy finds out about Oculus with porn. oh Yeah, he's like, I always wanted a virtual boy, but I couldn't afford it cause i was buying cocaine instead.
01:04:21
Speaker
Money well sniffed. But the plane is in a graveyard in Cochise County. A plane graveyard. not ah Not to be confused with the boneyard. Yeah, not the one we've seen on the show 100 times. not a welcome location. least seven or eight times. Yeah.
01:04:36
Speaker
They break into the plane. The crew is on there. They're dead. Charlie Sheen starts having a freak out. Like, is this a nuclear thing? Whatever. Yes. I love her response. i Sorry, a nuclear thing. That's how he says it. Nuclear.
01:04:49
Speaker
It's nuclear dummy. The S is silent nuclear. And she gives them like the lid of a coffee pot. And she's like, yeah, it affects external genitalia more. So just put this over your junk. You'll be fine. Your testicle blocker kind of works for him, too, because he's like, I do love my dick and my balls.
01:05:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's why she did it as friends, dude. But it turns out it's not nuclear. It is ah bunch of gold bars. Gold.
01:05:16
Speaker
yeah He always wanted that Russian gold. Yeah. Look at that. I'm rushing to get gold. She she gets that Pulp Fiction moment because she opens the crate and they have like the light reflecting back in her eyes. Are we good here?
01:05:29
Speaker
Is that what was in the Pulp Fiction? Was it a case of the Russian gold? Yes, except it was his soul.
01:05:37
Speaker
Case of the Russian gold sounds like ah another like a Hercule Poirot movie. Oh, I was thinking like an STD. Doc, I got a real nasty case of the Russian gold. You got the drippy dong. i got it It drips when supposed to.
01:05:49
Speaker
and But it's like, it was that day. It was the porn. It's $600 million dollars worth of gold. It was supposed to be for buying stuff to feed the people in Russia because Russia is falling apart.
01:06:02
Speaker
These guys want to steal it to stage a coup. I gotta say, it's kind of a bold choice to make Russians kind of the sympathetic good guy. Here in 94. Well, it's nice. It's a cool little like balance between what we were used to, because obviously for a long time there, are Russians were the go to bad guy because they were the bad guy against us in real life. quote yeah Hard quotes there. The bad guy. Whoever's the bad guy.
01:06:24
Speaker
You know what i mean? ah yeah I mean, there was a little bit of both, a lot of bit of both. But. um They do have so they they stick with the Russian bad guy. They don't hire any Russians, but they are Russian bad guys who are like separatists. They are trying to go back to old Russia. The new Russia are the good guys or at least sympathetic characters.
01:06:44
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But they have a moment where they almost kiss all the lights come on and Charlie Sheen's like, fuck, God damn it. There is no time is no God.
01:06:56
Speaker
um So there's the nerdy dude who's hanging out with ah Chris McDonald searching the plane for Charlie Sheen, but she distracts him with ah the welcome to the plane video. I like because he's doing it's that tense moment where he's like checking the bathrooms and we know it's not going to the first one.
01:07:12
Speaker
We know it's not going to be the second one. But I do like Charlie Sheen's like, lock like that's It's not going to do anything. As soon as he opens it or tries to open it's locked, and he just shoots it.
01:07:25
Speaker
All I could think of when this this thing was playing, this video was playing, and the score was going in the background, I was like, this be a someone could make a cool techno song out of this. take that You take that video and you put it over like some kind of electronic music. Not that kind.
01:07:41
Speaker
Different. donald bond Maybe something more like that. um You know, yeah your seatbelt is a safety device that du da but it's like ah background so like some Skrillex type shit.
01:07:54
Speaker
Yeah, maybe some like dubstep shit with some samples. Apex Twin is kind of what I was thinking of. Apex Twin would be awesome. Yeah. Just using the instructional video for the airplane. Okay. That's what I was thinking about. We know Yeah.
01:08:08
Speaker
I mean, he did it with that other that presidential running music video thing. or Yeah. Not music video. Presidential running video. Yeah. Those words are words. They are all words. So they go to Douglas, Arizona. And I was like, you know, I appreciate this movie's ah geographic correctness and stuff because Arizona is in Cochise County.
01:08:30
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. They did some of their work. And I recognize Douglas because it still looks like this. Yeah, it does. 21 years later. Same bars. Same people. Same workers. There's the like TP building in the background. couldn't read what it said. Wigwam something.
01:08:44
Speaker
yeah That's still there. So you don't get rid of choice building. and And I even made a joke when he goes into the the bar or diner or whatever it is. i think it's a little bit of both.
01:08:56
Speaker
And um the old cowboy is there serving him his coffee. i was like, isn't that the guy that used to be the bartender at Tombstone?
01:09:05
Speaker
I wonder if it was. Cause it kind of looks like him. And I mean, he was already old in 94, but you're trying to order a beer from that guy in 2019. You're like, I'm going to order this beer and I'm going to go check out a gun show.
01:09:19
Speaker
Uh, like one of these, uh, stunt shows they've got, maybe go buy some, uh, I'll be back and come back. Oh, my beer's not quite done yet.
01:09:28
Speaker
He's not wrong. No. um She tries to call the FBI, but they're not going to help unless she drives up there. She's like, we don't have time for that shit. It's it's the stupidest thing ever. You're going to call the FBI about a $600 million dollars fucking gold bar thing, and they're not going to come send somebody out.
01:09:46
Speaker
Because they don't believe her.
01:09:49
Speaker
She told them it was heroin. Send somebody. Send your fucking field agent you don't like. Yeah, that's fair. Send Martin Lawrence, dude. We'll make another movie out of that.
01:10:01
Speaker
It's called terminal viscosity. This really made me laugh, though. They start having a big argument in the middle of this place. And in the background, you can just see all these old cowboys staring at them while they're screaming about this Russian spies and the KGB. This is
Protagonist's Moral Dilemma
01:10:17
Speaker
the most exciting thing that's happened in this bar in a long time, dude. where She's like, there are missiles pointed at families. Everyone's like, oh shit, dish girl.
01:10:24
Speaker
What about these missiles? They're pointed at, who's killing children? What is happening with your three-legged dog? Oh my God. This is information overload. And then Charlie Sheen's over here sniffing the, is that sugar? Did he pull sugar from his pocket?
01:10:36
Speaker
I don't know why. He said no cigarettes coffee, but he poured this white substance. I guess he likes the ah non-dairy creamer and he just doesn't like to drink it. That's what it is. He just likes sniff the non-dairy creamer. Figured it out. He likes the smell of it.
01:10:47
Speaker
and The drip helps ah cremate the coffee. and Cremate the coffee. Now that's when you get coffee from Starbucks. Yeah. It's for my house.
01:10:58
Speaker
um But he's got this line like for someone who never fucked me or for someone who never slept with me, you sure are fucking me real good. and i like that line. And she storms out and everybody's staring at him. He's like, what? I'm the bad guy?
01:11:09
Speaker
Because all I could think was in this little cowboy town, they're like, No, that's a communist, sir. you but But the thing is, she was doing communist stuff where they're listening, going like, yeah, fuck Russia, let it fall.
01:11:20
Speaker
But then she brings up a good point. She's like, if these guys get in charge again, then they're going to be more weapons pointed at your country. Now these guys are like, whoa Wait a minute. Whoa. I don't like missiles pointed out at America. I sure don't. I like missiles pointed from America.
01:11:36
Speaker
And that's American. So she takes off and he's about to buy a bus ticket and he's like, fuck, man, I can't just let her go. Because the picture, it's the picture that she took. ah She went to a photo booth and held of a sign that says, says this did not kill me, did not kill me. So he's like, ah shit. So she's probably off to die.
01:11:55
Speaker
and just wants to make sure my life isn't completely ruined. Fine, I'll go try and fuck you one more time. So he steals Sam Smiley's Corvette. I've got a car just like that. Love it.
01:12:08
Speaker
Look at that. He's tearing ass in that one. I wouldn't drive mine that way. That's kind of rough on it, but like, damn, get it, son.
01:12:16
Speaker
I did appreciate that because I saw him come running out in the yellow jacket and I was like, well, that's the guy who owns the car. I was expecting that. Hey, that's my car. But I got one just like it. It's very funny. It is funny. I i thought it was entertaining us.
01:12:28
Speaker
It was a change of pace. Loved it. um So at the airfield, she's getting shoved in Chris McDonald's Cadillac. Hope there's room in your trunk because I'm putting my Natasha in it. Hope you got a big trunk. I'm putting my agent in it.
01:12:42
Speaker
Because he's taking this thing with him. And like Gandolfini is just like, okay, cool. Put ridiculous fucking car on the plane and let's get out of here, please. I just want to go home, I just want to count my millions of dollars.
01:12:55
Speaker
I'm tired of talking in an American accent. Yeah.
Aerial Pursuit and Stunts
01:12:59
Speaker
And we meet Chuck. Chuck, played by Ralph Howard. Welcome back. Welcome back three times now. Yeah, was on he was on the Tick. He was in Tick's. Halloween.
01:13:10
Speaker
Oh, four times. Because he was also in Universal Soldier. Was he in? No, he maybe he wasn't in Halloween. He's in one of those Friday 13th or scary movies we did because he's a cop that goes over to the camp.
01:13:24
Speaker
and that That's the ticks. That's ticks. That's ticks. Okay. i believe I believe both of you. Quit yelling at me. It's ticks. But either way, Rance Howard is back again. ray Yeah.
01:13:36
Speaker
And you couldn't have got Ron to direct this or even Clint? Nah. Darren Seraphian. i don't I don't want to see Ron Howard do an action. Do you? isn't he I'm sure he's done them.
01:13:48
Speaker
Willow. See, there you go. You love Willow. Love Willow. don't think you can do that again. He did solo. I do like solo. I mean, he redid solo.
01:14:00
Speaker
Yeah, he adapted to it. and But I like he's like he's an agent. He's pretending he's an agent from the FAA and Rance Howard's trying to call somebody. He's got to enter his fucking calling card number. all We don't have time for that. Raise your fucking right hand. Yeah. So he does a fake swear in.
01:14:16
Speaker
He's so happy. He's like, all right, deputy. Deputy. yeah he does this whole thing. Like, I solemnly swear to uphold the whatever. And he ends with pluribus unum. Rance Howard's just like, sounds official to me. Eh, let's go.
01:14:33
Speaker
um So Gandolfini on the plane goes to get information from Natasha. I think and he's going to hucker out the plane. He wants to know ah who else she told.
01:14:44
Speaker
Oh, that's what it is. Yeah. Is that it That's all he does yeah it's all he wants. He's like, you you don't have to die. You tell me the people you told that you talk to and talk to me about this ditch Brody character because you know you look at him. like like I'm not happy.
01:14:59
Speaker
That's not a Russian name at all. Ditch Brody. Brody.
01:15:04
Speaker
Charlie Sheen explaining to Rance Howard what he wants him to do. He's like, OK, flip your biplane upside down. I'm going to sit on the wing and then that'll get me to the top wing and then I can get closer to the plane. And he's like, are you fucking insane?
01:15:17
Speaker
Yes. Yes, I am. This is this is one of the many good sheenings, I think. he yeah He did it earlier where he's like, what is actually going on? What is happening? Like he looks so manic in this one. He he had just ah finished doing coke and then had no idea where he was at.
01:15:33
Speaker
He had a moment of clarity. They're all doing lines from the script. And he's like, you said we were running lines, guys. i yeah I've been running. When you said running lines, I thought you meant just put like four tables together, pour a line. You have run the whole way down sniffing. That's what i thought you meant.
01:15:49
Speaker
But yeah, this this is a great one, dude. Like, are you crazy? Yes. Yes, I am. Crazy in love. my ah o But ah they see the other plane.
01:16:04
Speaker
when ah he drops off Charlie Sheen, or drops up Charlie Sheen, I don't know. Charlie Sheen is hanging on plane. Charlie Sheen is now doing pull-ups on the cargo plane. Yes. And they see Rance Howard's plane, and so they they toss Natasha Kinski back in the truck, and he's flipping them off, which is great.
01:16:21
Speaker
Old man Rance Howard giving someone a middle finger is great. Always. ah Can you come look at this? What is it? It's a plane. It's but actually a biplane. A biplane? What the fuck? And then they know right away, they're like, oh Brody.
01:16:34
Speaker
Yeah, Chris McDonald comes out, starts firing at Charlie Sheen, who's sitting in the car. Get out of my car. He was going to open the trunk. He obviously wasn't trying to get in the car all the way. Right. he's getting shot at. And Chris McDonald hits like a hydraulics thing. Shoots some hydraulics out.
01:16:51
Speaker
Yep. And then the plane goes out of the car. Chris McDonald doesn't want to let go. So now we've got a plane. goes out of the plane. Did I say the plane goes out of the car? That's not how that works. Good for me. so Derek is sober. I am. That's the problem. I know. need that drunken recall.
01:17:09
Speaker
ah The car falls out of the plane. There we go. With Chris McDonald hanging off the hood, Charlie Sheen inside, and Natasha Kinski in the trunk. Okay. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
01:17:20
Speaker
Yes. Right? The good is that they are doing this fucking stunt. Yes, there is no bad. But the ugly is when it's these close ups and they're doing what they can.
01:17:32
Speaker
i think I think the problem I have is they just do like Drop Zone did the same thing, but they didn't do as many actor close ups. Right. Skydiving. And the digital part, whenever you see this car and these people digitally falling looks looks yuck.
01:17:47
Speaker
Yeah. but But when you have this actual stunt where there's a guy that appears to have no fucking parachute on holding onto the front of a car that just came out of an airplane with a person that's in the driver's seat and and and story-wise there's somebody in the trunk probably wondering what the fuck is going on.
01:18:05
Speaker
She got thrown in the trunk. He rammed Chris McDonald and then reversed off a plane. She's like, what is happening? What is happening right now? What is going on? um is it There be a little lever inside the trunk for it to go...
01:18:17
Speaker
not least Not that year. Maybe this is before they did that. that's ah that's a People in Cadillacs don't kidnap people. was going say, that was happening right now, but not as mandatory as it is now. Now everything has it.
01:18:28
Speaker
I love that. So in my I had an 03 Focus, and it glowed in the dark, oh yeah the little thing. And it's a picture of a person jumping out of a trunk. See, and Whitney's over here saying we should take safety labels off of things. Pro-Darwinism, but also pro-trunk lever.
01:18:46
Speaker
well that's because it's a funny picture. dude Comedy always wins. Right? And also, it goes in the dark. And it's, where is it most of the time? In the dark.
01:18:58
Speaker
How is it going to glow? I don't spend a lot time in trunks. Oh, you should. They're quite roomy. You're not elephant food? Yeah. But I said it and it clicked.
01:19:10
Speaker
Chris McDonald does not manage to hold on to the hood of the car. But I do appreciate his death because he he goes down shooting his gun. Yeah. He's like, all right, well, I mean, I'm dead, but I will feel a lot better on my way down if I can kill you.
01:19:27
Speaker
Would you not just put a bullet in your head? Could. He was more like. He was mad at Charlie Sheen for ruining his car. So he wanted to take Charlie Sheen out.
01:19:38
Speaker
Yeah. Excuse me. So he's like, I'm going to end up falling to my death, which sucks, but I'm not going to feel it. Charlie Sheen, if I can get him, then he won't make it either. like Yeah. Get him. Get him.
01:19:50
Speaker
If
Gold Heist and Final Showdown
01:19:51
Speaker
I can get him. How do we know you can't feel it? I guess maybe you do, but not for very long. You're not going to feel that balance. Everything's going to be snapped.
01:20:02
Speaker
You're all alive. Like, your brain is still functioning. Not the second it hits that ground. i guess is I guess the second that your fucking brain hits your skull. Yeah.
01:20:13
Speaker
Maybe he did save one. We don't know. he saved one He plummets out of this movie. um Charlie Sheen tries to open the trunk with lever. landed a plane that we didn't see, and he's come back for the sequel.
01:20:25
Speaker
Okay. Charlie Sheen tries to pull the trunk lever, and it snaps off because this is a cheap Cadillac, apparently. And why wouldn't it snap off? Come on.
01:20:38
Speaker
Come on. So it's a really cool moment because he's got to try to take the keys and open the trunk while it's plummeting through the air. I'm going to say they weren't high enough for this, but it's okay because it's a cool fucking stunt. Yeah. I'm not picking any fucking nits here.
01:20:53
Speaker
Horizontally terminal.
01:20:57
Speaker
That sounds like you just don't have a ah large penis. That's just what they call cancer. It's the sequel to Terminal. Oh, it's on a train this time, though.
01:21:08
Speaker
I don't see. See? Because going horizontal. We're going to make this work. Much like Under Siege 2. Exactly. It's terminal velocity to horizontal velocity. Dark territory. Semicolon.
01:21:22
Speaker
Dark velocity. ah But he gets her out of the trunk. They parachute at the last second. The car hits the ground and explodes. Of course, they go through the fire, so it burns up the chute.
01:21:34
Speaker
He's got a backup. A little cutaway. They land through the these windmills. Nightmare nightmare landing strip. Just a nightmare landing strip. And of course, like no one made it this way, but it's just like you're going through these giant metal propellers. Like, good God.
01:21:50
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And the plane is forced to land, which leads us to assume that the people are going to get their gold back. Hence the ending. Although I'm like, I'm like, these dudes just start loading this shit into a bag and running.
01:22:02
Speaker
Oh, yeah. You got Jawas running around, grabbing this shit. There was um you could hear the the sirens coming. Yeah, but I mean, it's the middle of the desert. It'll be a while.
01:22:15
Speaker
don't think so. I don't know. You get like a million dollars worth of gold at least. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's not enough to overthrow Russia. Someone decides to jump in. Yeah. Gandolfini jumps in. Well, we have the stupid moment between Natasha Kinski and Charlie Sheen at first because she's like, you would make a really great KGB agent.
01:22:33
Speaker
You are very courageous and cute. o Also, I've been trained to sniff a lot of things. But yeah, Gandolfini parachutes in, takes Chris to hostage and stabs her.
01:22:45
Speaker
And then Ditch and Gandolfini have a fight and he's laying Ditch out. And then he fucking like this is a wrestling finishing move. He bear hugs this dude. Yeah.
01:22:57
Speaker
He's trying to break his spine. Who does that in Street Fighter? Is that Zangief? Zangief. yeah Yeah. Somebody played Street Fighter and they' were like well, he's Russian. I mean, we it's just it's just true that Gandolfini was gandolini' like i'm just going to and i' maybe I'm not a great fighter, but I can squeeze the life out of you.
01:23:14
Speaker
I will squeeze you to death. But... Ditch pulls the shoot that the backup shoot that Gandolfini is still wearing. He gets yanked into these windmills and chopped up.
01:23:24
Speaker
I feel cheated. i why You know they're not going to show it. One, money. Two, I'm sure whoever owns these windmills is like, no, you can't throw a bag full of blood at my windmill. No, that's fine.
01:23:36
Speaker
You get, all right, fine. You get Tom Savini with a bag of fucking red liquid with a straw just blowing it at Charlie Sheen off camera. Yeah. Like he gets misted. Oh, perfect. I think it was too far away, but I did like the way they did it because they have move clothes out they have that low angle shot of the windmill and you have the two blades go by and then the third one and it's just covered in blood.
01:23:58
Speaker
I like that. It's a nice way to handle it. Yeah, it's decapitated. Yeah. I wanted a misting. Yeah. um So the movie is pretty much over. The jump schools reopen broken legs. do We talked about how she got stabbed, right? She's dead. Yeah, definitely got stabbed, but he was like, I'm going to save you and he rubbed some dirt in it. Oh, can somebody earn their red wings at the end of this movie? His mouth is covered in blood. it's Yeah.
01:24:21
Speaker
im He did get misted. You just couldn't tell because he was already covered in blood. So I've had a great time this entire movie. There's been some fun and laughs. No, no, no. Sorry. I'm moving past that.
01:24:33
Speaker
There's been some fun laughs. I'm segwaying. I'm pulling my best Derek. yeah Last night you did too. ah So... It's been a fun time. It's been a hoot. But the funnest time of this movie doesn't come until the last 35 seconds.
01:24:47
Speaker
um The most gingery of gingers. ginger's It is a ginger with a mullet if you guys aren't watching. And it is the most distracting thing.
01:24:59
Speaker
I don't know if they wanted us to look at the rest of the crowd, but you could have put Abraham Lincoln in a wedding dress on the left side and I wouldn't have noticed because I'm just stuck there's on the ginger and mullet.
01:25:10
Speaker
There's a beautiful woman who would who would notice. I just noticed that girl. as She looks like the girl that was in um Welcome to Mooseport. Welcome. oh I was thinking welcome to the dollhouse, but grown up.
01:25:22
Speaker
Oh, girl. And she's grown up with blonde hair instead. Yeah. But yeah, I took a picture here for the people that aren aren't watching. The picture is just me taking a picture of my TV. It is. Because this ginger kid with this mullet is insane. And now you know it's at one hour, 35 minutes and 13 seconds. It is insane. It took away from everything they were trying to do. like So they give her a medal. She's got her arm in sling because she's not dead.
01:25:47
Speaker
Charlie Sheen gets a fucking medal that they've never given away, not Russian. And none of it matters because that ginger kid is just sitting there. And even even when Natasha gets the medal, he looks back at the ginger kid and the kid's like, yeah.
01:26:02
Speaker
I feel like that was Charlie Sheen. Like, I'm going to give this little freak some acknowledgement. This is my drug dealer's it' you want You want a fucking eight ball at 2.30 in the morning? My son gets a roll. No, he's not going to put a hat on or shave the mullet.
01:26:20
Speaker
is that we did You kind of mentioned it. The medal ceremony is in at the Kremlin in Russia. Yeah. so Russia's giving him a medal for helping. Oh, because legless Max, broken legs Max, now broken arms Max has a postcard from Mouse Cow.
01:26:37
Speaker
Mouse Cow. My cat wants to go to Mouse Cow so bad. She's rushing to get there. But i like when ah Charlie Sheen tries to talk to the guy in Russian to thank him. And he just says, buses don't work here. I'm an asshole. yeahp And she's like, he's he's had a few too many jumps. no yeah okay Bless his heart. Bless his heart.
01:26:56
Speaker
And then we go full fucking hot shots at the end because he salutes and all the soldiers there salute. And he takes it down and salutes again. And they do it. and Real quick one. And then he goes and just like slides his hand through his hair and they all do it. He's like, ah, gotcha. Gotcha.
01:27:11
Speaker
It's Ace Ventura. Shish kebab. Shawshank Redemption. Chicago. Gotcha. Get out. ah ah the The three log, dig the three log deg. Jesus Christ.
01:27:24
Speaker
The three leg dog that Jack mentioned really quickly earlier. i needed to see it because like the whole time they're sitting there hugging as like, there's got to be a dog. If you don't show three legged dog right now, you have failed.
01:27:38
Speaker
This German Shepherd, oh my God, she's trying her hardest to run and then she keeps putting that leg because it's really like you have the dog leg. It's cut off at the foot. know what I thought? It's just the paw. I thought it was a recent thing because it didn't look like the dog was very used to it.
01:27:54
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Did they cut a foot off of a dog for this movie? Did they screen screen a foot out? but My first thought was maybe they green screened it, but then I was like, I don't know. This is Russia. this is here You want three-legged dog? Look, no problem.
01:28:10
Speaker
You're going to find one? No, go to make one. Watch. Look, dog. no that's nothing like Please don't do that. oh well, they did it. I guess we should use it. I have four different three-legged dogs for you to choose from. Take your pick. Each one different. I took four dogs, but three legs, each missing different one.
01:28:27
Speaker
What angle do you want? Now we can make a new dog with four legs. Yeah. I learned this trick where my homeland is from in Texas. We shoot dogs there in Texas. And that's the end of the movie.
01:28:40
Speaker
Huzzah. Huzzah. Indeed.
Podcast Reflections and Recommendations
01:28:43
Speaker
So we'll go around the horn for recommendations. We'll start with Jack. o Full. Full recommendations. Watched it alone.
01:28:50
Speaker
um Had a blast. This will be one that like. If this ever comes on physical media, I want it. I even text the bleeps because we share accounts with stuff. And I was like, hey, just rented Terminal Velocity or sorry, ah Vertical Terminosity.
01:29:03
Speaker
And you have 24 hours to watch it. Well, i think once I started 24, but either way. Yeah. oh I don't I don't need the caveats, but man, they fucking are fun. ah Full recommend for me as well.
01:29:16
Speaker
Like i watched this earlier in the year with you, i believe. think was last year. Maybe last year. And that was my first time watching it. I loved it then. i loved it again this morning when we watched it. And no, it's you're getting really decent Sheen acting. Like we've seen some trash Sheen.
01:29:35
Speaker
It's a role for him. Golf clap. Yeah.
01:29:40
Speaker
Yeah, I recommend it. None of you got what I said. I said trash scene. Trash sheen. Minute work. Thank you. And then we follow up. I'm always the common you are. I do recommend it too. Great stunts. Less skydiving than Drop Zone, which is disappointing.
01:29:56
Speaker
But... we throw a car out of a plane and there's dude chasing it through the air. Yeah. This is less of a skydiving movie than Drop Zone. That's not a critique. It just is. This is more of an espionage movie. But like you, you actually touched on why, like maybe why didn't do so great.
01:30:10
Speaker
It doesn't know its identity. It does have some comedic moments. It definitely has espionage moments. It definitely has action moments, but it's just kind of a blend of all three. And so it's ah it's the Jack of all master of none.
01:30:23
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. um And um I do want to mention when i paid to rent this again because I rented it a year ago and I hit play. It was literally the scene with the ginger mullet because i remember when it happened last time. We rewound it. And I'm pretty sure I took a picture and sent it to you. It's so fucking alarming. Like it is my people, but it's alarming. It's probably Howard Howard.
01:30:51
Speaker
Oh, man, it might be a Howard. It might be a Howard. It's Clint Vance Howard. Charlie Sheen's dealer. was trying to scroll back to, but it's a year ago. i was like, I think I took the picture a year ago and sent it to you.
01:31:08
Speaker
But
Closing and Community Engagement
01:31:09
Speaker
I don't think our mess I believe you did. And that's when we decided, like, well, we got to do this movie. Yeah. For that scene alone. That's it for this week, but Sky Timber continues next week as we dive into Point Break 2015, which might be on Tubi.
01:31:28
Speaker
Just Watch was a little confusing because it showed Tubi when I clicked it, but then in the actual thing, it didn't. So that just watch, I think has early information because I've done it where I was looking up, um, sleepers in Seattle and it said it was on MGM went to MGM wasn't on there.
01:31:45
Speaker
Then a week later it was, Okay, so I think it's I feel like I could be wrong, but I think it's gonna be on but it it is on ah you know Amazon Apple all that stuff $4 to rent 13 to buy it's on something called like braps sports channel or something some app you can like subscribe to that is a sports app, but they have a port. I would assume it's related movies. Yeah, like B R R a P P P or something.
01:32:13
Speaker
It was on just watch. ah But it's the remake-ish of Point Break from 2015. That will be what we're discussing next week. And then, of course, we have our Patreon at patreon.com slash worst people.
01:32:26
Speaker
We get all kinds of sweet content of the $3 level content. Yeah. At the $3 level, you get um ah newsletter. You get every month. You get ah episodes of Han Took Shots First, Early, Ad-Free, Uncut.
01:32:41
Speaker
And you get your mental health episode, which this month we are talking about the 1991 point break. Oh, my God. i wasn't ready. They looked me but they both looked me in the eyes.
01:32:52
Speaker
And that one available. got adrenaline juices flowing. That one's available a lot of places right now. It's on Paramount Plus. It's on Pluto. It's on the Shout TV streaming service. It's Canopy. It's Derek's shelf. It's on my shelf in 4K.
01:33:05
Speaker
You can rent it for $4 or buy it for $7. Oh, buy that for $7. At this current time. so That is a digital price I can get behind. Yeah. and And like I said, it is on 4K. I think Shout Factory did a 4K. It's really, really good looking. So I'm assuming that's probably where the 4K stream is also taken from. So it'll look good.
01:33:24
Speaker
We at the $5 level. Oh, do the good latchkey vids where we talk about forgotten or never known TV shows from the 90s. Currently, we are discussing cop rock.
01:33:35
Speaker
i Shit. I have the old banner here, but I'll show it anyway. Cop Rock. But this month is not episode eight. Pots don't feel me now, like it says on your screen. This month we are talking about episode nine, Marital Blitz.
01:33:49
Speaker
We're coming to the end there, guys, and it's bittersweet because it is we love it, but what are we going to do? What are we going to do? figure it out. Nothing will up to it. Yeah, I know. we we came We kind of came out of the gate running.
01:34:02
Speaker
like We have a lot of fun with Latchkey Viz right now, and then next year we're going to be like, why did we do this? We parachuted into a little silo at high winds and banged around inside with Cop Rock.
01:34:13
Speaker
yeah Next year we'll be coming out of the bottom covered in soot.
01:34:18
Speaker
We have some ideas though, guys. yeah We're kicking around some fun stuff. We've got some stuff that we can have lined up. and We have our merch store at shop.badmoviesworstpeople.com You can get merch from the show.
01:34:30
Speaker
can get merch from this show or Han took shots first. And As I've said before, I have everything marked as low as I'm allowed to put it in the store because it's not about making money. It's about you guys getting some cool merch from your favorite podcast, which is us. Right? Yeah, it's us.
01:34:44
Speaker
And we know you can advertise it to your friends, your family, strangers, kids walking down the street, dogs with toothpicks in their eyes and make them watch our podcast with their ears.
01:34:57
Speaker
Do I have I have some stickers on my water bottle? And oh, and I just found out, I mentioned it last week, that our merch store now offers shorts, which is weird.
01:35:08
Speaker
So check that out. um Of course, we have to thank Evasion for providing our opening and closing music. That's it for this week. I've been Derek. I'm Huitney. I'm Jack. Buses don't work here.
01:35:21
Speaker
I'm an asshole.