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Ep 168: Point Break (2015) - SKYtember!
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In this uncalled for remake of the 1991 classic, our characters swap surfboards for a buffet of extreme sports. We follow Utah, an FBI agent and former extreme athlete, who goes undercover to infiltrate a crew of eco-terrorist thrill-seekers led by the enigmatic Bodhi. The gang is attempting a series of high-risk, high-concept stunts around the world to honor nature (sure) and pull off daring heists. Cue wingsuits, free climbing, snowboarding, and lots of very serious talk about “the path,” all while Utah struggles to decide where his loyalties truly lie.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Bad Movies, Worst People'
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back everybody. Thanks for joining us another Sky Timber. Today we are talking about ah Point Break again because they made two of them. Utah. Two of them. I'm Jack. I'm Whitney. I'm Derek.
00:00:13
Speaker
This is Bad Movies. Worst People. We did it all together. It's fine. I love it.
Reflecting on the Podcast's Intro
00:00:57
Speaker
Wow. That was a great intro, guys. That's a fantastic intro. Derek, you did a great job. now I'm sad that we're almost done using it. yeah No, i mean I meant our intro where we stumbled over each other like a bad skydiving prank.
00:01:10
Speaker
I didn't know what to do. I'm not used to being in the passenger seat. He's really not. It's very rare he lets me drive. Sit there and take it. It's because I'm a woe man. i can't believe I didn't think of that.
00:01:21
Speaker
Menopause for a second. It's because you are a woe man. yeah i thought of it just like right before we started. was like they made two of these movies. Utah. Two.
Comparing 'Point Break' 2015 to the Original
00:01:33
Speaker
ah Yes, we are here this week to to talk about the 2015 remake of Point Break. Kinda. Okay, so keep it the screen really quick.
00:01:44
Speaker
Okay, sorry. Jack, does he not look like a Wish.com version of Sean Bean? Oh, on the right? Yeah, because on the left we have Wish.com Javier Bardem. Yeah.
00:01:56
Speaker
Yeah, that's a Sean Bean and Harvey R. Bardem in another world. And better her move what him what better i don't movie I don't know if they're gonna be doing all these wild ass stunts and shit, though. Well, the one thing that movie the only thing is Sean Bean would be the hair color would still be correct to the original because Sean Bean would have to be Bodhi because he's a bad guy and he dies. i mean, just because he dies. Simple enough. do they they They flip the switch and they're like Utah dies in this one. Why? Well, we cast Sean Bean.
00:02:22
Speaker
What you fucking mean? Why? Our hands are tied. So I will say. Let's go around real quick. Well, like you said, you i for real quick, I said it was kind of a remake. Or you said, i thought it was remake. You said kind of.
00:02:35
Speaker
It was a lot more of a remake than I remembered from when we saw it in theaters. Yeah.
Character Development Critique
00:02:40
Speaker
But it didn't feel like it originally was. It felt like they had a script and then when they went in and doctored it to because they decided it's a remake of Point Break, then they were like, okay, let's put in this line and this reference and this thing and this thing. it didn't I still think that's what happened.
00:02:57
Speaker
They just added more. They're like, all right, put a love interest because I don't think that she's originally in this movie. I mean, she's a pale comparison to any sort of character that Lori Petty played. correct yeah And I'm not saying like the great and almighty Lori Petty.
00:03:09
Speaker
She had role ah lines. She had fucking, you know, development and shit like that. This was just like, here's a hot chick with an accent. Hope you like seeing her in her underwear. Spoiler alert alert alert. This chick dies and I had no emotional reaction. I mean, I i don't cry to movies and stuff. Did No, nobody did. Because don't know who this character is. If i don't cry, you fucked up.
00:03:31
Speaker
I was a little sad because I was a little sad because the first time we see her she's in a bikini and she's very buxom.
Movie Watching Memories
00:03:39
Speaker
Yes. And so I was sad that that person was no longer on this planet.
00:03:42
Speaker
But other than that I didn't care. i think in a yacht full of boobs. Trust me. he did But I want to go around real quick and just obviously Derek kind of answered this question. Who has seen this before?
00:03:54
Speaker
We both saw it in theaters. okay Oh, in theaters. So you were hopeful or bored? Hopeful, but- Well, at the time we were going every Tuesday, cheap day. We were going to the Roadhouse Theater because they had just recently opened. It was like, oh, you can get you know some food and some beer. It was the first time we had something like that here in Tucson. beginning of our relationship. Well, and we both had Tuesdays off. Yeah.
00:04:16
Speaker
And movies were $5. So we went pretty much every Tuesday and I saw the trailer and i was like, that's not point break, but it looks like it'll be fun to see on a big screen. Yeah. And the stunts are good and they are fun to see on a big screen. they were This was at a time where I was in a relationship where we weren't going to
Impact of the Original vs. the Remake
00:04:32
Speaker
the movies. We were doing a lot of ah rentals.
00:04:35
Speaker
Oh, so this came out and it was like the same kind of thing. Like it's movie date night. Let's fucking pop it on and hope for the best. Especially because the girl I was dating was a fucking turn your brain off action fan.
00:04:48
Speaker
Like, ah her one of her favorite actors has got to be Jerry Butts. Oh, okay. But the difference here for a date night movie is the other one has Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves.
00:04:58
Speaker
So by the end of it, everybody's all wet and creamy. Yeah, that there is some sexual energy you can take home from that one. This has no energy, I think. This has no energy, but you have like generic white guy...
00:05:11
Speaker
Who has
Failed Sequel Concepts
00:05:12
Speaker
nothing. Nothing. I mean, I don't it. We'll see him again, by the way. Yeah, I saw him some stuff. Because I found out he does Cobra Commander in the second live-action G.I. Joe, which is just awful. Oh, really?
00:05:23
Speaker
I didn't see that one. But this guy, I mean, this guy is steamy. Yeah, he's steamy, but he's also bland to me. Like, he does not. i said the Wish.com Javier Bardem because he's in Commander Room. Yes, Whitney?
00:05:34
Speaker
I've seen him in other things. Borderlands. Is that what it was? Ugh. He is in Borderlands, but but ah let me look real quick. I have it here. He popped up in Borderlands, and I was like, I know this fucking cat, and then I looked it up and I was like, oh.
00:05:49
Speaker
He was in Jungle Cruise. He starred in Zero Dark Thirty, which, funny enough, was directed by Catherine Bigelow, who directed the original Point Break, and was the movie that was became her highest grossing movie after Point Break.
00:06:03
Speaker
Okay. So I had made a comment last night. Instead of calling it Point Break and like just doing a reboot, they could have just done a long sequel and been like, no, I'm Bigelow. My dad was Utah.
00:06:15
Speaker
And like. Adrenaline junkies. Just call adrenaline junkies. Change all the fucking names. like that is That was my other thing. On our Patreon episode, we, we talked about whether or not there was a planned sequel to the original. And I told you guys about the one from 1993, it was supposed to happen.
00:06:30
Speaker
There was also, I found out reading about this one, one that was in development hell forever and ended up being scrapped. That kind of probably ended up becoming this, that was a sequel, but it had like this, it had nothing to do with the original except for it was like federal agent outlaw kind
Romantic Dynamics in the Remake
00:06:47
Speaker
of thing. Yeah, yeah. But it was, they could have done something like that in there because that'd be like, you're a long sequel. Maybe it would have been like Johnny Utah trained something You know what's crazy? Something I just realized in the original, he seduces Lori Petty to get into the group.
00:07:01
Speaker
He kind of seduces Bodie in this one. little bit. Yeah. Like not sexually, but romantically, I would say. Like they they are they arere in fucking love with each other. Where the Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze, if you are in love with them, that's fine, dude. Make them gay. I don't give a fuck.
00:07:17
Speaker
It's just that that Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves relationship built. You watched it blossom. You know, was like, oh, I've got a little interest in you. Oh, you're fucking charismatic as hell. And then this one was just like...
00:07:28
Speaker
Yeah. i You can call a romance. Drop the bro. it's ah It's okay to love people. The funny thing about this one, i so there's a review I saw on Letterboxd, and the guy gave it five stars, but you can tell it's like an ironic five stars, I think.
Humorous Letterboxd Review
00:07:43
Speaker
um This character's name is Jack Flack, or this character, this reviewer's name is Jack Flack. Oh, Jacqueline. And he has a picture of Jack from Hook dressed as a pirate as his... ah profile picture.
00:07:56
Speaker
Nice. But he made a good point that I didn't realize until he said it. And I was like, holy shit, they did do this. So the balls on this movie of all the absurd shit it asks you to buy into, it draws the line at asking you to believe a guy would be named Johnny Utah and has not one, but two scenes to explain how that could be possible. They explained twice why his name is Utah.
00:08:18
Speaker
Yeah, one's to the incomparable Delroy. Yes. And then the other one to this very comparable Bodhi. Yeah, because he's talking to Delroy Lindo and he's like, oh, it's just my name is whatever the fuck he said.
00:08:31
Speaker
I don't know. Bigelow. Bigelow, which is a mountain. Okay. Well, it's also probably a reference for Catherine Bigelow. It's another one of their very clumsily handled references, which we'll get to a few of those.
Johnny Utah Name Critique
00:08:42
Speaker
So I didn't catch the name, but Utah was a name my co-students got from YouTube or whatever. yeah And then when he's talking to Bodhi, he's like, my mother was a Ute Indian. and a which And I'm like, dude, dude, come on. i Say anything. Say anything else, man.
00:08:59
Speaker
Also, he's got the pigmentation of an Irishman. He could have been an SOA. I mean, yeah. did Did I did I mention he's Aussie? No. So he's I looked at his IMDB and that's another reason I think that he'll be back is because he did some exploitation action. Looks like.
00:09:17
Speaker
Oh, OK. I didn't go through his stuff too much. I looked it up and I thought maybe that's why he's so clumsily delivering everything because he's hiding his his Aussie accent.
00:09:29
Speaker
That might make sense. Why? It seems a little dull. His face is weird on some things.
Movie Ratings and Content Differences
00:09:33
Speaker
Yeah. Sits his face. So let's do the the the tail of the tape, as Jack says. Okay.
00:09:40
Speaker
You said it. So first of all, this movie is rated PG-13, whereas the original is rated R. Go fuck yourself. Add more fucks. Yeah, more fucks. You know what? I mean, the other original had nipples. This is 2015. You don't want to put nipples in. That's great.
00:09:54
Speaker
Have these guys saying fuck. Because you know who's going to say fuck? A dude falling off a mountain. Give me some naked booties. Give me some bloodshed. You know what? It's the modern day Show us a dick.
00:10:06
Speaker
Yeah. Every other movie does. This was 10 years ago. I know, but it was already starting. ah Danny McBride just hadn't fucking hosted too many shows yet. That's what was going say. Danny McBride was already making shit. I'm pretty sure that Vice Principals was on.
00:10:21
Speaker
Yeah. Probably a dick that. sounds about right.
Director's Influence on Cinematography
00:10:24
Speaker
He was definitely a dick. His name is Walton Goggins, and he's delightful. But this is directed by a guy who named Erickson Core. And if you recognize that name... Ah, I thought it was Erickson Core.
00:10:36
Speaker
It's Erickson Core. No, this isn't a Star Wars name. But this guy has... so It's commendable, but it would explain why the movie just falls flat.
00:10:48
Speaker
He is a cinematographer, and he directs and ah cinematographies. That's the right term. He directs the film and the photography for but all the movies he's made.
00:11:00
Speaker
Okay. Okay. And you can see it on this. I didn't like the desaturated thing, but that's what we were doing in the mid-2010s, where everything's just like, the colors are all sucked out a little bit. and But it looks...
00:11:12
Speaker
Decent.
Erickson Core's Career Post-Remake
00:11:13
Speaker
And it's because this guy is a cinematographer. ah The only other stuff I saw that he directed was a movie Jack might have seen. It's called Invincible from 2006 starring Mark and Mark.
00:11:24
Speaker
Yeah, you bet your fucking ass. I'm playing for the Eagles. At least I'm trying to. That's the fucking point of the thing. There was a fucking football strike. My character said, hey, I could do that. Went out, tried out. Invincible. Boom. Boom.
00:11:35
Speaker
So there you go. That's what that's about. And then based on a true story or something, I think this movie put him in director jail because after this, he directed seven TV episodes total of various shows and a Disney movie that none of us heard of called Togo.
00:11:53
Speaker
Starring Willem Dafoe, but it looks like it's kind of... What's that movie with Cuba Gooding Jr. and... Radio? And dogs? Snow dogs? Something like that. dogs? Sled dogs, whatever it is. Eight Below?
00:12:06
Speaker
It looks like... That's a... was going to say, this there's Paul Walker. Yeah, there's like a yeah slew of those fucking movies. It looks like a more serious version of
'Point Break' and 'Fast and Furious' Parallels
00:12:18
Speaker
that. It says like the harrowing true story or some shit.
00:12:20
Speaker
And it's just willing to follow the dog. go watch it Maybe that's what it is. It's just their modern remake of Iron Will. I like that. Or White Fang. um but yeah funny enough, you know what else this guy was a director of photography on? I talked about it a lot while we were talking about Point Break.
00:12:37
Speaker
The Fast and the Furious. Oh, really? i had so Since you've said that, I can't get it out of my head. And I was watching this, and I'm like, this is just a Fast and Furious remake. Oh, wait. Yeah, it is.
00:12:49
Speaker
This is a remake of Fast and Furious, which is a remake of Point Break. Especially the moment where they sit down at the table, and they're all holding hands. on like, somebody please whisper in a deep voice, family. Just fucking say family. Get it. Yes, right there. Somebody say family or get it out of my fucking face.
00:13:03
Speaker
In my notes, I wrote family in bold. Yeah, yeah, good. I'm glad it wasn't just me.
Kurt Vimmer's Filmography
00:13:10
Speaker
But this one is written by a guy who we've had on the show before as a writer, and we will have on the show again as a writer and a director, ah Kurt Vimmer.
00:13:21
Speaker
If that name sounds familiar. It doesn't. Which it it shouldn't. ah He wrote Sphere, Jack's favorite movie. po ah He also wrote and directed Equilibrium and Ultraviolet.
00:13:34
Speaker
ah We saw Ultraviolet in theaters, That's a stinker of a fucking movie. We did not see Ultraviolet in theaters. I did not. I think I saw Ultraviolet part of one time.
00:13:46
Speaker
That's Mila Jovovich. Oh. But it does have that actor that you like. I think it's like 2006. Oh, I remember that now. It does have the actor that you... From Driver.
00:13:58
Speaker
You. He's in Armageddon. He's an astronaut. Armageddon. He's in bad movies makes him good. Yeah. Whose name I'm drawing a blank on right now. But I know you're talking about... Scott something. All I'm thinking of right now is Drive Angry.
00:14:11
Speaker
That was an MTV show back in the 90s, right? And they were trying to... No, that was... You're thinking of Aeon Flux. Aeon Which had Charlize Theron. Yeah. You don't remember Ultraviolet and you shouldn't.
00:14:22
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think anybody should. I've seen it. If it came out in 06, I was probably pregnant. so I think it was like 06. But this guy directed those two movies and then was never allowed to direct again. Or wrote them or both?
00:14:34
Speaker
ah He wrote and directed them. um And then for some reason, okay, this is what baffled me the most. He wrote the Total Recall remake from 2012. And yet they still let him write the Point Break
Remake's Box Office Performance
00:14:48
Speaker
remake from 2015. I never saw that. I never saw that Total Recall one. Oh, it's hot trash.
00:14:52
Speaker
i I thought so by the trailer. He also wrote a remake of Children of the Corn. He wrote Expendables 4 and he wrote The Beekeeper. Oh, God. Those are movies that already write themselves. Like, all right, here's what we do. We got a bunch of action guys. Give him like a generic job, then have him go kick some ass later.
00:15:11
Speaker
Cool. Beekeeper to code word for somebody who used to be a CIA agent, and now he's not anymore. Coming up next summer, The Gardener. The Beekeeper was a movie I have not seen yet, but i it was interesting in the fact that like I know what it is as a Jason Statham employed man movie and I was interested but now I'm like oh but it was written by Kurt Vimmer do they have any of them cocks transport a cock from point A to point B B is your butthole one thing I can give this movie over the original and I mean only slightly we talked about on the Patreon that the original did not have
00:15:49
Speaker
A very good score or soundtrack.
Soundtrack Comparison
00:15:52
Speaker
It's a very generically farty soundtrack. And the score here is much better. it's not It's still somewhat... ah like wrote is very generic in a way. Yeah.
00:16:03
Speaker
But it works really well for the scenes. It makes the action sequences a little bit more pumped up. Like the original had pumped up action sequences because they were awesome. This has pretty good action sequences that are pumped up by the music.
00:16:15
Speaker
Well, that's the difference. This needed to help. Well, the music was done by Junkie XL. Hmm. don't know who that is. Neither do I. He's a producer DJ type guy.
00:16:26
Speaker
Hmm. So we have a box office game and it's a weird one this week.
00:16:33
Speaker
Budget, not surprisingly, $105 million, dollars which seems high. You think modern movie, it's actually not too bad. But when you think about the fact that this shot over like a year in like 11 countries and four continents, it's actually a really good budget.
Global Filming Locations
00:16:48
Speaker
True. I'll give them that. Because you didn't pay any big name actors for the most part. No. Ray Winstone is probably pretty big at this point. Ray Winstone and Delroy Lindo are the two names in this. That's it.
00:17:01
Speaker
But ah they did have a lot of world class professional, like extreme athletes. And I mean, I was reading a thing and it was like, oh, is this surfer and this skydiver and this freestyle climber and all this stuff. But I'm like, I don't know these names. So. Right. That would mean something to the people they were trying to get with this movie.
00:17:18
Speaker
Yes. But so Point Break 2015 cost one hundred and five million dollars. I have domestic and worldwide and I'm going to have them on two separate tickers because There's a reason.
00:17:30
Speaker
So any guesses, wife, domestic and worldwide? um I'm going to say domestic.
00:17:40
Speaker
ah
00:17:43
Speaker
I want to say ah I want to be hopeful that they made their money at least. So I want to say 100 domestic. Yeah. And worldwide. One ten.
00:17:55
Speaker
I don't think anybody. I'm going to go opposite of Whitney. going to say they made 50 million domestic and 200 worldwide.
International Success and Action Appeal
00:18:05
Speaker
In theory, Jack is correct.
00:18:08
Speaker
ah Number wise, you're both way off. Domestically, this only made twenty eight point seven million dollars. which doesn't even cover the cost of flying the crew to fucking Venezuela. Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:21
Speaker
Worldwide, 133.7. hundred and thirty three point seven So it did make its budget back. It didn't cover the spread as it were. But I won the world.
00:18:31
Speaker
i mean, we both lost. and I won worldwide. I said, one yeah. But the world wanted to see this more than we did. Maybe because they aren't as familiar with the original and they just thought it looked cool.
00:18:43
Speaker
I'm going to guarantee you, because again, they don't break this down by country from where what I see, but like a lot of that's China. China likes our action movies. I was going to say, this seems like a a Chinese market where they're going for that straight action.
00:18:55
Speaker
And that's what where that's what America was doing good at one point. i I have to say, I do like the concept of like the eight levels of doing that. But like like we said earlier, should not have been.
Character Motivation Analysis
00:19:10
Speaker
whatever the fate rings of enlightenment yeah the eight challenge thing eight ordeals it's kind of a cool idea but the characters themselves and their motivations are so it's like okay we want to do these eight ordeals but we're also going to be eco terrorists yeah I just it never really fully explained I would have rather the guy that's not well I mean like what about the guy that's sponsoring them right that has all the money what if he's actually a corrupt criminal that's trying to destabilize America That's exactly what was happening.
00:19:39
Speaker
No, but he was just a rich douchebag. He was a rich douchebag. Make him a villain, like an ultimate villain. Like, yes, these guys are being used by him and they're used and he's using them and vice versa. vote voting Bodhi's gang was the only ones who had ulterior motives.
00:19:54
Speaker
He was just a rich guy that was like, if I do this, extreme sports plus YouTube equals more money? question mark No, I think he has enough money. He wanted to surround himself with the coolest and best of everything.
00:20:08
Speaker
But then why why does why is he under 24-hour surveillance? like he's all because they Because they are suspecting the gang. So they're watching. ah The guy's name is Al-Farik. They're watching his places because that's where the gang is hanging out.
00:20:22
Speaker
Okay. Or they just wonder how he got his money. like He's up to something.
FBI's Role in the Remake
00:20:27
Speaker
Well, because they do attack every like all the ones that the that they're stealing from or whatever. It's all against the U.S. Yes.
00:20:34
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, it's everybody that's ties with the US. That's why I was like, he's pissing on everybody else. like That comes down to Delroy Lindo says there are these companies are all multinational companies that have ties to the US, which is why the FBI is interested. That's the only reason they're doing it Yeah, that's a mechanic involved. That's a mechanic to get ah the US in this movie, even though you could have just made him Interpol. But either way, easy. um Nope. Because you know what? You missed the fucking opportunity to say, I'm an FBI agent.
00:21:04
Speaker
I don't worry if we're in a pool. You are an FBI agent. Yeah. We get that stupid callback. You're an FBI agent. The one we didn't get though was
Missed Nostalgic Opportunities
00:21:12
Speaker
via con Dios. And I was at least three opportunities for someone to say it to him.
00:21:16
Speaker
Mostly Ray Winstone. Via con Dios. Might've been just as bad as fucking Keanu Reeves delivery. Oi Viacom Dios mate When Bodhi goes and takes the last plunge you know yeah plunge off the Leap of Faith or whatever fucking yeah He could have said it then Yep that's one of them That would have been fucking great Yep
00:21:42
Speaker
yep um So I have a bunch of alternate castings we I won't wait for you guys to guess all of them One of them for Bodhi actually signed on to the movie And ended ended up backing out before they made it The other ones are all just listed as people who were considered 2015 right Most of them make perfect sense honestly 2015 Yeah Danny DeVito So for which character I have some for both Danny DeVito for both um For Bodhi, got Bradley Cooper.
00:22:16
Speaker
um No Bradley Cooper, but you're in the right ballpark of types of people for some of these guys at least. Oh, is the Lord? Some of them visually will be very close to what we got for Bodhi. Joaquin Phoenix.
00:22:32
Speaker
No. I see that. But I don't know if he's ever done an action movie. He plays Joker. Yeah, that's not an action movie. It's a musical. Eight Mile? The second one was a musical.
00:22:44
Speaker
Eight mile Mile? Eight Millimeter. eight millieter Now I'm just picturing You better lose yourself in the music The moment We sneak Mom's spaghetti Mom's spaghetti He's doing his Joker thing ah So the one who signed on and backed out Might have made your first viewing better At least with your girlfriend at the time It was my mola Mr. Harard Butler Oh Jerry Butts dude He was already signed and everything I've gotta take this plunge you know
00:23:16
Speaker
Dude, I like Momoa playing Bodhi. Momoa as Bodhi would be a killer, but he's he's just becoming a ah thing. Yeah, because 2015 was probably like around when it was around when guard or Game Thrones No, it was a couple years earlier. It was like 2012, Game of Thrones. But he's still not like what he is now is mamoa Yeah.
00:23:37
Speaker
You know, he is a whole yeah he's ah he's a brand now. Well said. He was still doing a lot of stuff. He wasn't a brand, no. But he was in Baywatch when he was a babby.
00:23:47
Speaker
He did that awful Conan reboot. Yeah. Not his fault. I don't know what's speaking of Jason Momoa real quick, quick dig digression. What the fuck is up with Jason Momoa's career? Because he's got Game of Thrones. It's huge. He's got he's Aquaman and he's in Fast X and he's got all these big things. minecraft But then in between all of these huge movies, he's just making secret movies and TV shows that no one's ever heard of.
00:24:11
Speaker
Yeah, and they're usually genuinely kind of fun. Like we just saw the new one. I think it's a Netflix one. Gods of War or some shit. Oh, and no, it's Apple. Is it Apple where he's got red, like, mohawk or some shit going on? Yeah, it's it's it's also got Tamora Morrison in it.
00:24:28
Speaker
I have it. It's ancient wars or some shit like that. I have it earmarked so I can watch it. Yeah. i I remember seeing it and i was like, what the fuck? are Where's Jason Momoa? What is he doing? He's he's having fun. He's yeah he's Bruce Willis-ing it.
00:24:42
Speaker
Oh, we're going lose him soon? No, no, no. He wants to do it before he's going to have to leave. Or Nick Caging it. Oh, he needs money? No. i think he Derek mentioned some big money makers that he was in, so now he's like, going fucking do things I want.
00:24:57
Speaker
Yeah. and you know and hes that A lot of people who do that do the big movie, and then they use the time they want to do the little indie like art movie or the whatever. He's just like, no, I'll do your direct-to-fucking-streaming action movie that doesn't have a script.
00:25:10
Speaker
Sign me the fuck up. I think we just enjoy this. He loves the Samoan culture. He loves the Hawaiian. like he's He's all about those fucking and the Maoris. And he like he likes working with Tamora Morrison. He played his dad.
00:25:22
Speaker
And that fucking Aquaman flick he was his father. Oh, yeah, he did. Boba Fett and Jango Fett raised me. um So some other ones we have here. And the first one makes the most sense to me. Tom Hardy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. To play Bodhi. If you look visually at our Bodhi that we got, Edgar Ramirez,
00:25:40
Speaker
Tom Hardy would fit perfectly. um Colin Farrell. Speaking of point or total fucking total total recall, which you just had a lack of recall.
00:25:51
Speaker
ah Hugh Jackman. Oh, Hugh Jackman. Whitney would have liked these next two, I think, maybe ah one of them for sure. Jeremy Renner and Chris Hemsworth, both considered. Okay. I love Renner better than Hemsworth. I know. That's why I said the first one, definitely. Renner's better.
00:26:08
Speaker
Renner's better because he can have a darker side. Hemsworth, is it's he's you're too clean. You're too good. He's either trying to be funny or trying to be sexy. He's brooding. He doesn't to try to be sexy. And then the last one is a guy named Garrett Hedlund, which is a name I recognize. It's Hedley. I had look him up.
00:26:26
Speaker
He was the lead. He was Flynn's son in Tron Legacy. He's in like Four Brothers. Oh, yeah. He's in Troy. Four Brothers. He's in Troy. He plays Patrocles.
00:26:38
Speaker
and And then I have some alternate ones for Utah, which based on the visual of our actor that we got also makes sense. It's like they were just looking for a physical type. This scene from him reminds me of ah he was in Boston Legal, Pretty in Pink. James Spader?
00:26:54
Speaker
James Spader. It's like if James Spader wasn't insane. It's like James Spader's kid. Yeah. um I mean, we can get some, I don't know, do we have, ah oh, Charlie Hunnam? Do we have Charlie Hunnam as Utah? No, he's not on here because this was after his ah King Arthur movie and he wasn't on work anymore. Oh, he shouldn't have.
00:27:12
Speaker
um That was bad. Taylor Kitsch? Yep. He was ah gambit Gambit in the original X-Men. Recently was in mu Terminal List with ah Chris Bratt.
00:27:27
Speaker
chris bratt Yeah, visually, a similar thing. sort of is kind of what i'm say you i you would He's one of guys you would know if you saw him. One that would have made it really fun for me, Nicholas Holt.
00:27:38
Speaker
oh Yeah, Nicholas Holt. I mean, I don't buy him having a wild side. he's too many. Did you guys watch Superman with me or not? Yeah, he was fucking manic. He wasn't wild, he was manic. He's sending other people to do everything.
00:27:53
Speaker
I mean, they this the one good thing about this guy they got to play, ah Utah, was when they say, like, oh, he's broken and he's looking for something. I kind of believe that. He looks broken and bored.
00:28:03
Speaker
Yeah. That's something I didn't like about the character, too, though, was, like, Keanu Reeves didn't have a lot of inner turmoil. He was just trying to become an FBI agent, whatever. And I get what they were trying to do. They're trying to give the character more depth, but it all just seems so, like...
00:28:16
Speaker
ah artificial. It was all for that. You got to follow your line, your path. Yeah, it was when his friend from your fire country show fell off a mountain. What a shift though, dude. like i'm i'm a fucking professional motocross athlete.
00:28:30
Speaker
I'm really good at it. My friend died. I'm joining the FBI. yeah Nothing in between that? like You don't you don't like take a little time to figure your shit out? It was seven years. You don't go to school for seven years to join the FBI. He took a few years off.
00:28:43
Speaker
He did cocaine and skydived a lot and lived through it. and So he was like, well, now I'll be in the FBI. Oh, he had that like year of trying to kill himself. you know Like yeah but playing Russian roulette in a fucking Bangkok bart basement bar.
00:28:56
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. We've all been there. yeah couple others that i think would work. Aaron Taylor Johnson. oh Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was ah zoom Zoom. Yeah, Quicksilver. He was Zoom Zoom. He's been on the podcast for Godzilla. He was on the podcast for Godzilla 2014. And then they had Chris Pine and Chris Pratt were both considered. Oh, okay.
00:29:18
Speaker
See, Pratt, I could see. This was the same year as Guardians though, so it was weird. It's weird if they considered... I did say Starbird, by the way. But it's weird if they considered Chris Pratt though, because he hadn't done this stuff.
00:29:31
Speaker
He had already... He had done... ah He had already done Guardians of the Galaxy. No, Guardians the Galaxy came out in 2015, didn't it? Or was it 2014? 2014. Oh, okay. Even if they hadn't seen it... But it took a year to show this. They saw his glow up and they were like, oh, that dude's fit. He's going places.
00:29:46
Speaker
Yeah. And this and funny work but Chris Chris Pine could work. And I didn't catch them watching the movie, but apparently Gromit and Roach from the original are in caught Roach.
00:29:57
Speaker
I caught Roach right away, which made me go back and look. He was like at the head of the fucking FBI table when they're all sitting around there. it's It is a blink and you miss it moment where he's like got a pen, throws it down. It's just scrolling. ah The camera goes across the table.
00:30:12
Speaker
So it is they're They're both deputy directors of the FBI Roach and Gromit from the original Point Break oh Michael LaGrosse which I think it's funny your name is LaGrosse and you play Roach Dude, halfway through the movie, I had to keep explaining who each one was. He's like, they all look the same to me. I was like, wait, so is this Roach? And she's like, no, that's not Roach.
00:30:35
Speaker
That's Gromit or whatever. And I was like, who the fuck is that? And she's like, that's Chowder. And I was like, no, that's who is Chowder. Who the fuck is Chowder? I was going through the IMDb and after all those weird names, this guy, they just named Jeff.
00:30:47
Speaker
It's like, man, yeah ah is that the Rosie of the crew? It's like, all right, man, we got Roach, we got Gromit, we got Chowder. There's Jeff. um He's going to take care of the murder stuff.
00:30:59
Speaker
ah Jeff is a mechanism. If you set Jeff upon something, he will make sure to do it without getting blood on his boots. Watch out for Jeff. He's the wild man.
00:31:10
Speaker
Okay, so let's talk about this movie. guess so And I guess I didn't finish doing my research because i didn't actually write down anything these people were in. But we talked a little bit about Luke Bracey, who's the first one we see here. G.I. Joe Retaliation.
00:31:24
Speaker
um Apparently he was in the Elvis reboot. Or not reboot. The Baz Luhrmann. The recent one, yeah, the Baz Luhrmann one. Oh, and he was in Hacksaw Ridge.
00:31:35
Speaker
Yeah, I know that one. No, me and Chloe were just talking about it. It's Andrew Garfield. It's a World War two It's got Vince Vaughn surprisingly doing pretty well. That's the Mel Gibson one, right?
00:31:47
Speaker
No, ah it's Andrew Garfield. No, but didn't he direct it? Oh, he might have directed it. Sorry. Yes, I was thinking of the We Were Soldiers that like is is him jacking himself off for the entire movie.
00:31:59
Speaker
ah Yeah, he directed it. But funny enough, despite being Cobra Commander in G.I. Joe Retaliation, ah Luke Bracey, this guy's name, is is his most known movie is Point Break.
00:32:11
Speaker
that't That doesn't surprise me. And my very first note is low-rent Sean Bean. So like I said. ye I mean, in this picture, you don't see it as much. Oh, I do. Oh, I see it. It's a lot better in this one. yeah that That looks like Sean Bean from far away. That looks like I'm watching Goldeneye.
00:32:29
Speaker
One does not simply walk into Mordor. It looks like they're walking through the fucking snowy mountains right now to Mordor. Yeah, we need some loop music.
00:32:41
Speaker
but I know it's not a loop. But they're they're doing dirt bike stuff. It's him and his yeah it's a little guitar. I was doing your mom. I was doing your mom.
00:32:51
Speaker
My mom's interpretation of a blowy. i ah But him and his friend Jeff are doing dirt bike stuff. And Jeff, Whitney, recognized right away. And I didn't have the heart to tell her because I knew exactly what was going to happen from making the intro.
00:33:06
Speaker
It's Max Thoreau. He's from the pacifiers. How we got a start. And then he's also in fire country. um The seal with David Boreanaz. Navy seals are just seals. It's just seal. Yeah.
00:33:20
Speaker
um He's a biopic. He's a really good actor. In my opinion, he's a huge producer on fire country. Should have had him be Bodhi or ah Utah. Seriously. His IMDb picture is from fire country. And when you said that and I pulled him up, I was like, oh I recognize that guy. I've never really watched the show, but obviously maybe watch maybe he saw a fire down there. And he's like, well, fire down below. him I'm going to go get that.
00:33:42
Speaker
Are you looking for a movie podcast with deep dives, interviews, and thoughtful film analysis? We ain't got none of that. What do we got? want to hold the bucket? Right, I'll hold the bucket, sit in the cuff chair. there with but I will never blink. I'll just be there holding the bucket. will never blink on her drapes, most likely. You look like a drape jitter.
00:34:04
Speaker
R.I.P. That sweet, sweet pussy. It is known that Jessica Tandy had the sweetest pussy in Hollywood. If you don't know, Google it. Don't Google Jessica Tandy's pussy, you guys. Don't do it. Don't do it.
00:34:20
Speaker
Doom Generation. Available anywhere you find podcasts. Hey, mister, I got an extra $3. I was wondering if there's any way you know I can spend it. Have you heard of Patreon?
00:34:30
Speaker
Never heard of it. What is it? You go to patreon.com slash worstpeople, give me your $3, and you can listen to a bunch of stuff that's way too inappropriate for your age. Oh, but I'm actually pretty old. I just let sound like this. It's like a Benjamin Button thing.
00:34:43
Speaker
But anyway, I was going to ask you, what if I got my mom to give me a couple more bucks and I could give you more money? Oh, that's even better. You can get ad free $5. $5?
00:34:53
Speaker
You also can get access to Latchkey Vids, our TV recap show of forgotten 90s garbage. Oh my God. I don't even know what that is, but I'm excited for it. You should be. So $5 is all I need. Then I get no more of these commercials. No more commercials. more commercials. boy. You get to hear us talk about a singing cop show and more.
00:35:11
Speaker
Well, golly gee willikers, Mr. and Miss. Thanks for all the information. I'm going to go see if I can find a mom to give me $5. Let's go beat that kid up and take his $5.
00:35:24
Speaker
Well, they're doing dirt bike pranks. And if you're watching on video and you saw our opening, it's the part where the dude is jumping his dirt bike onto like a little tiny mesa, which just seems like if nothing could possibly go wrong. Nothing could go wrong.
00:35:35
Speaker
Well, what's your end game? Now I have to get picked up by a helicopter? Well, they got a helicopter there. Also, why couldn't the helicopter come get him? I don't think it got had enough time. I mean, he fell pretty quickly.
00:35:47
Speaker
Yeah, I was quick. But Jeff makes the jump after saying he shouldn't. beefs it he like he stops just a little too far and Utah's not strong enough to hold on to a motorcycle even though he rides one should have gotten Chris Evans also put your fucking hand out like he's just holding the handlebars I'm like you've got you've got the thing held now put your arm out let him grab your arm and let the fucking dirt bike go yeah he's holding the brakes yeah well i don't know if he is or not I think we know we know Bodhi explains it that was his line
00:36:22
Speaker
Yep. head's so There's a lot of talk of lines in this movie, but nobody's doing and for once, this is like a very non-cocaine movie for us. That's what they needed. For once, we're like, man, this is like fucking, they're talking about actual lines. There's some size more.
00:36:34
Speaker
There is cocaine use in this movie. We just don't see it because Ray Winstone says at the party, he's like, oh, sorry, does this not have enough drugs for you when he's yelling at him after the party? He's talking about how FBI work is boring and whatever.
00:36:47
Speaker
Yeah, real FBI work. So that guy eats shit and we cut to seven years later and we have Instructor Hall was so was was a John C. McGinley Hall, right? That might be right.
00:37:00
Speaker
I mean, don't see why they would change it. Was it? Yeah. okay OK, because he's Irish. So it's Delroy Lindo, who most recently I think everybody on the planet has seen in Sinners.
00:37:13
Speaker
Great in Sinners. Gone in 60 Seconds. Get Shorty. He'll be on the show in the future because he's in the core. He's got a war movie I like. Is it Five Bloods or Six Bloods?
00:37:24
Speaker
ah The Five Bloods. the five i just like his persona and his in the movie. He's fucking tremendous. I suggest everyone look up the news interview. fuck?
00:37:35
Speaker
What the fuck just happened? One eternity later. What I was saying though is if ever if you want, look up Delroy Lindo on a news program where there's a white dude complaining that the N-word is a double standard, especially in rap music.
00:37:49
Speaker
And Delroy just looks at he's like, you can say it. Say it right now. I'll say it with if you want. Go ahead. yeah It is just the most intimidating. its It sets it up. They're like, that's terrifying. That's a terrifying human being because he's not yelling. He's not breaking. He's like, go ahead.
00:38:02
Speaker
Say it. I'll say it with you. Like, oh, no, I got to go. um i didn't wear my brown pants. ah Right? No, I absolutely love that. Yeah, he's great. I mean, Gone in 60 Seconds is where I fell in love with him.
00:38:15
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, he's because he's the cop opposite ah Timothy Oliphant in that, right? Yeah. Yeah. um But he's not the head of the robbery division or whatever, like in the original. He is he's accredited as instructor hall. So he's actually like an FBI, like a Quantico instructor who's vetting people before they actually get accepted. Correct.
00:38:36
Speaker
And his job here, he tells ah Utah, he's like, I'm not convinced that you're an FBI agent. You have to show me. And then they start looking at the stuff with this diamond robbery and a little nod that actually kind of worked for me to the original. They have guys on dirt bikes with the president helmets.
00:38:55
Speaker
I like it. And they had the like the George Bush one had mission accomplished. Yeah, good. Is that Barack Obama? And then I don't think that's a president. I'm pretty sure that's Putin, yeah. He's a president.
00:39:08
Speaker
He's not ours. But yeah du it worked for me. That one I liked. Because I don't want it to be an exact cookie cutter replica. No, definitely not. No, and and references and nods are cool. It's just they have to be handled better than... And I think that was done well. That one was good. Most of them are handled like you asked a three-year-old to help you move a couch. Yeah.
00:39:26
Speaker
You asked a three-year-old to pour a glass of milk. A three-year-old you with her taxes. that's I need that. But these guys steal a bunch of diamonds, and in one of the cooler stunts that doesn't really get ah a full-on shot, and I'm kind of disappointed, like, they show it real quick.
00:39:42
Speaker
These guys drive these dirt bikes out these windows and then just, like, base jump parachute off the dirt bikes. Yeah. and drop all the diamonds on this, like, poor village or whatever, which is their MO. They do it and very shortly here, the the big money heist that was in at this part of the movie I'm kind of in, I'm like, because it's exactly what we said, like, share the fucking wealth.
00:40:01
Speaker
They are. They're redistributing. They're grabbing your attention to in the beginning. But the thing is like, OK, when they drop the money all over the poor a Mexican village here in a little and very shortly, that's money. You can spend that.
00:40:14
Speaker
Yeah. You drop diamonds all over this place. What are these people going to do with diamonds? You take it to the pawn shop. That pawn shop has forty eight dollars. No, this town is broke. You take these to the Congo, see if you can get you a fucking laser.
00:40:30
Speaker
Oh, diamond powered lasers. You sell them to Mr. Freeze. I was going with another one that's diamond powered. You can get your fuck Fantastic Four.
00:40:41
Speaker
You can power your spaceship yeah or just have some old guy steal it and sit with it. Yeah, you just have to find ah Danny DeVito's cousin. that's what ah So there's another podcast that we've been trying to work on getting on their thing, Good Beer, Bad Movie Night.
00:40:56
Speaker
They just talked about Fantastic Four, 1994. Not fans, by the way. Not at all. but hey that's what we need, though. The girl on there, Catherine, I want to say. i I'm sorry, I don't remember and everybody's names. but That's a Whitney She had a really good one. she was like She was like, oh, you mean the Penguin's cousin? That's what she kept calling the jeweler. the penguins cousin and i was like i like that cat that's yeah that's your name i like that yeah that's well done so yeah we cut to the big stunt that was in the trailer the thing that they showed a lot of and it's within the first five ten minutes of the movie is this airplane they're all like hiding inside these panels they come out there's these pallets of money on it they drop the pallets of money out go skydiving down and they
00:41:40
Speaker
They cut them open and the money shoots everywhere, which is another. i have another one of these clips in our opening video because it looks fucking cool. It does. Again, I'm still in right Obviously the money and stuff is CG. But Derek's like, what happens to the actual palette, though? That was my thing. That's a big metal platform. Oh, no. I didn't think about that. Oh, no.
00:41:59
Speaker
Some little kid's just picking up money and just gets fucking sheened in half. Where's this big shadow coming from? Was that Final Destination 2 where that kid gets the glass panel dropped on him and he folds it backwards? and That's what I'm imagining. Some kid's like, what?
00:42:13
Speaker
what It's a life lesson, kids. Don't get too greedy. Darwinism. Although that pallet would probably make it down before the money. Yeah. So hopefully the pallet, I don't know. which should be like I'm not going to go pick up money if I see that drop.
00:42:30
Speaker
They're surrounded by jungles. So maybe where they did it, the pallets will fall more straight down and hit the jungle and just feel like, you know, an endangered panther or something. Whereas which they love much better. That's good. And ah the money will float a little further.
00:42:43
Speaker
It just killed. It just beheaded an anaconda. That's okay. Bodhi saw the movie Anaconda and he's like, I want to save the earth, but not them. Yeah. It killed John Voight.
00:42:54
Speaker
So Utah makes the connection between Mexico, the Mexico money heist, the Mumbai diamond heist, and these pictures of these dudes jumping off of Mount Everest or whatever they're doing there.
00:43:06
Speaker
And he starts telling us about the Ozaki eight, which is eight ordeals to challenge extreme athletes and how it's not about, Like he figures out that their their crimes aren't about money.
00:43:18
Speaker
It's about made spiritual enlightenment and doing something else. Giving back. Yeah. He hasn't quite figured everything out yet, but he's like, they're not trying to make money. They're just trying to do these things. And then these these pranks that they're pulling along the way.
00:43:32
Speaker
happen to be convenient to help with their things. Yeah. Uh, like the Mexico one he figures out was that the cave of swallows is there, which is a real thing. It's a big, super deep cave. It's bigger than the, uh, empire state building.
00:43:47
Speaker
You could fit the empire state building in it. Yeah. So they skydive down into that to become people like the first people who went from air to underground, ah While were alive, we saw Terminal Velocity. At least one person went from air to underground.
00:44:03
Speaker
It's never been done that I've been told about. ah survivor never told me about it. And apparently the the skydiving part was not shot in Mexico, but the dudes jumping into the Cave of Swallows and and parachuting down was actually a base jump thing that some of these stunt guys did for real.
00:44:20
Speaker
Nice. Like all these locations, they went to these places. Beautiful locations. I mean, that's that's beautiful. at the end We don't find out what any location is until the end, though. Oh, my God. We'll get there. it I'll talk about that when we get there. But the ah the big one towards the end, the angel...
00:44:38
Speaker
Angel Falls in Venezuela. Real place. They really went there, but it was like the most expensive set that they had to build because even though the the falls are real, it's all a protected area.
00:44:49
Speaker
So they had to build this giant platform to put like the tents and the camera equipment and all that stuff on top of so that they wouldn't disturb but the but the ecosystem. Yeah. So it was just like a giant military encampment, basically.
00:45:03
Speaker
But yeah, he gives the speech to all these FBI people who are disinterested from the beginning because he starts with like, I rode a dirt bike. And this lady's like, I have a meeting. Why do I shit? am a motocross agent. She doesn't have a meeting. She has a flight Morocco in half an hour. Yeah, because she'd be meeting up for some D. Trying to get my caboose rattled, girl.
00:45:23
Speaker
i'm um I've been working for two days straight. I need my vacation. to be straight He's talking about how the next the next crime is going to be in France because there's a big storm that's going to make super waves, whatever. Nobody believes him except Delroy Lindo. So he sends him off to meet Pappas, who is played by Ray Winstone.
00:45:44
Speaker
How would I know Ray Winstone? The Departed is kind of the biggest Indiana Jones, the Crystal Skull Kingdom. Yeah, he was in Crystal Skull. and He's in Black Widow. I mean, Departed is his best role for sure.
00:45:56
Speaker
Yeah. Did you watch that Netflix show, The Gentleman? We have not watched the show. We watched the movie. but That's worthy. ah We'll be talking about him again at some point, in ah in a sense.
00:46:08
Speaker
He's in that Beowulf, Robert Zemeckis Beowulf movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. really awful CG one that a friend and guest Dustin loves and bought on VHS, which is probably the only way you can watch it and your eyes won't bleed.
00:46:21
Speaker
Wild man. What a wild man. Oh, Dustin. So Ray Winstone takes him out to this extreme sports yacht party. Sure. yeah It's like finding a needle in a haystack because it's moving group.
00:46:35
Speaker
It's the fucking water world. It's a flotilla. Yeah. Yes. Or an atoll. I want to know a couple things here. What is your skateboard budget? I mean, you were doing a skateboard per jump.
00:46:47
Speaker
And that leads to my second question. Is there going to be some sea diving person many, many years later that finds like 20 skateboards at the bottom of the ocean? Like, what the hell happened here? after Well, that's you know what? After our current society collapses and we lose all of our history and another society comes up, hopefully not humans, hopefully like a better version.
00:47:08
Speaker
Panda bears.
00:47:11
Speaker
Sentient panda bears When they start doing like Ship diving and stuff and they they'll find All those skateboards and they'll be like this used to be Not underwater before continents moved Wetland is a myth This was a skate park that was Destroyed in the the big final purge
00:47:31
Speaker
I can't believe In postman Kevin Costner didn't say Wetland is a myth Great great But basically they're out here because it's these giant waves.
00:47:43
Speaker
And I mean, it makes sense. I guess the waves would probably be bigger in the middle of the ocean than when they reach the the shore. I'm not a science, so I canno i cannot argue. But I love when Ray Winstone's like, he's taking Utah over there and he's going to go surf this wave to try to get in with the people. He's like, you ever surfed anything like this? And he's like, I've surfed.
00:48:03
Speaker
I've surfed. Anything like this. Utah was going for the wave right he was in front he was first and then in comes fucking Bodhi well they were I think different directions i think they just showed us Bodhi second I think we're supposed to believe they're both going to same time but the camera just only showed us Utah Well, and it was like a race thing. Because everybody else agrees that he that he took it.
00:48:26
Speaker
Everyone else is like, oh, come on, dude. that was You fucking snaked him. Because Bodhi released first. Yeah, when Bodhi gets to the wave first. The jet ski guy's like, nah, he got it, dude. We're good. And he's like, fuck that. And let's go. And the entire yacht, like everybody at this little flotilla is like, whoa, dude, don't snake him.
00:48:41
Speaker
Bro, that's his line. Let's get some more lingo in here. It's a bodacious line. Don't snake him. Kind of a kook. Don't worry. It leads to the really, really wet fart ending of this movie. So this is when we meet Bodhi, played by Edgar Ramirez.
00:48:56
Speaker
As we mentioned, Borderlands, Zero Dark Thirty. He's in Jungle Cruise, which I have not bothered to watch. Maybe one day for the podcast. And apparently he stars on a show called Florida Man on Netflix. Florida Man.
00:49:07
Speaker
And I'm like, I don't know what that is, but I might watch it. I've heard good things. I haven't seen it, but I've heard good things. Same. So they're both surfing this thing, and it's actually working pretty well for a while. They're like crisscrossing and going over each other and doing this stuff.
00:49:20
Speaker
But Utah beefs it. For a moment, because I don't remember this movie, I thought it was going to be like just them in tandem was going to be their thing. Like, you snaked me, but it worked out real well, bro. Let's go massage each other. Flick, flick, flick, flick.
00:49:33
Speaker
But like Utah beefs it, and Bodhi decides to save him, much like Lori Petty in the original. This is why they fall in love. Seduction. It is. There's someone someone writing this script that like, I could make him gay. I'm like, no, don't. All right, I'm just going to erase a couple different things. We're good.
00:49:50
Speaker
ah ah The only person of the side crew that I wrote down the actor for is Roach. ah The guy, his name is Clemens Schick, because we meet all of them here. He looks like Clemens. wrote him down. He looks like a Schick.
00:50:03
Speaker
He is in Andor. Oh, yes. Yes. i cause I did recognize a little he he know his character name. Ham. and Oh, and you go ham. on And it's funny when I looked him up, i was like, who the fuck is ham?
00:50:16
Speaker
He's one of the prisoners in Narkeena five. Uh huh. He's got like three episode arc. You know, when they do like they did like character posters for a lot of the episodes, especially the arcs and stuff. There's even an Andor character poster of this guy, and it just says ham in big red letters across it And I was like, that's one of the best.
00:50:33
Speaker
You better believe I'd have that at my house if that was me. Like, you walk in my door, I want you to see a picture of me in Star Wars with the word ham written very large above of it above it. Yeah. We'll get you a framed one to put in your kitchen.
00:50:47
Speaker
Ham.
00:50:51
Speaker
But, you know, he wakes up. They're all there, the whole crew. And it's like someone says something about like no or I think guess Utah says nobody's ever surfed anything that big. And one of the guys, ah not Clemens, whatever.
00:51:04
Speaker
Cochran, whatever that other fucking guy's name is. Oh, maybe it's Gromit. One of those guys. Gromit's the littler one. Chowder's the other white guy. i think it's Gromit. Yeah, because Gromit's like he was he was going to.
00:51:16
Speaker
yeah fuck He almost did. yeah fuck No one's ever surfing like that big. He almost did. Chowder's the one that's always giving him the... Like when they start talking, he's like, Chowder will show you around. He's like, no the fuck I won't. say Say Chowder.
00:51:32
Speaker
Well, Chowder was about to get laid, so yeah I don't blame him. um This is when we find out about Alpha Reek, who sponsors them so they can be the first to achieve the impossible. And that's another thing this movie fails at. Like we talked about again on the Patreon episode, Patreon dot com slash worst people. it. That.
00:51:49
Speaker
um that the twist of like the Nazi gang war child's gang there with yeah Anthony Kiedis like them being suspected and and the FBI not knowing that it was Patrick Swayze's gang.
00:52:02
Speaker
It's not really a twist for the audience. It's more a twist for the script and for the characters. Correct. don't even bother here. Literally right out of the gate. I appreciate that though. We're committing the crimes. I kind of appreciate that, though, just because it's it is the it is the remake, so that you can't do a twist. Not that the original one was trying to, but I think they're just like, look, we all know it's these guys. His name's Bodhi, so you know he's doing it.
00:52:23
Speaker
He even says it at the end. He's like, all you had to do was ask me if I did it. Yeah. and I mean, i guess it's just the fact that at the end, too, he's like, we always knew you were a cop. It's like when we were trying to save you or whatever, it's like we're right out of the gate. You're like, yes, I'm committing the crimes officer.
00:52:38
Speaker
Like he didn't have to do all this stuff. He could have just busted you. like yeah But that's the thing. He still needed that enlightenment. ah Utah. um Maybe he was trying to build himself.
00:52:50
Speaker
Yeah. maybe He's trying to build more of a case. But he did fall in love. I do like Bodhi's little line here, though, because Utah's asked about why they like do all this stuff like for publicity sake, kind of. And he's like, well, if a tree falls in the forest and no one puts it on YouTube, did it really happen?
00:53:05
Speaker
Shut up. Like, share, and subscribe. but ah Well, because Utah, like his whole thing at the very beginning. he's like I don't really know you that well. When they were on the dirt bikes before ah ah Jeff said goodbye to this movie, he's like, just think of the YouTube hits.
00:53:20
Speaker
So it is like his life. So maybe that's what Bodie, because Bodie knows him, you know, very much like the original one. He's like, do you know who you're talking to, Roach? That's fucking Johnny Utah. Except this time he's not throwing footballs. He's motorbiking.
00:53:34
Speaker
That's Johnny Utah, dirt bike man. Dirt bike man. And we meet Samsara, who is the Tyler equivalent in this, Lori Petty, but it's Teresa Palmer.
00:53:44
Speaker
is I know her from A Discovery of Witches. Fair. so It's an AMC show. I think it's AMC. It was three seasons. Because I paid for like nine months of AMC Plus thinking that he was going to watch that show, and then she watched it once I got rid of AMC Plus.
00:54:01
Speaker
Yeah. um But she was also in Hacksaw Ridge and she was in she was number six in I am number four. Really? Yeah.
00:54:12
Speaker
OK. I so I read that book and that book was awesome. And I watched that movie and I wanted to gouge myself. I remember when that movie was coming out and I saw the trailers and i was like, that looks really cool. And then it was awful.
00:54:26
Speaker
Yep. And then it was talk about it. We'll talk about it in one of these books are really good, though. Not reading. jack Jack doesn't know how to read. Just memorize the shapes of letters usually.
00:54:37
Speaker
ah Shapes of words for me. But so she dives in the ocean. is when he get that callback. He's like, you are an FBI agent. Well, provisional. And dives in after her.
00:54:48
Speaker
And then they hold their breath for 11 minutes and swim through the ocean. It's extreme, dude. yeah You've never done extreme swimming? This is extreme cuddling. Like, cause they, they come up and they're just like, be here. Like I i see what they end up doing, which is going on.
00:55:04
Speaker
He's on his back and then she's on his stomach kind of thing on her back. But at first it just looked like they were like otters, but it did look like they were just going like hold each other treading water. like, you can kill me.
00:55:15
Speaker
That is, that is not a cuddle. This work. ah Utah wakes up and Bodhi is just sitting there staring at his sleeping body already falling in love. That's what you do when you're in love with someone, right? You just sit and drink coffee and stare at them while they sleep. I don't know. Do you share that to me?
00:55:30
Speaker
You complain this time, but the other 10 times I do it, you didn't say a Are love with me? am. I'm still in love with you. I'm not falling in love anymore. I used to wake up to him just like... ah Weird.
00:55:43
Speaker
I was still in bed. Yeah. Creepier. woke up and I was like, this person's still here. but She didn't leave and burn the house down on her way out like the last one. Nowadays, with you guys' is different sleep schedule, Derek just puts a camera, like a little fucking cell phone up at at your face when you're sleeping.
00:56:00
Speaker
But Utah wakes up and Bodie's just staring at him longingly. um And it's when he's telling him, like, I remember your reputation. You had a reputation for more balls than talent, but you lacked fear.
00:56:12
Speaker
And then today or yesterday, you lacked respect. Ooh, punch him. yeah Smack in the face with your words. And this is when they get into the the oft-repeated like enlightenment thing. It's like, well, what are you after? And he's like, just something I don't know.
00:56:27
Speaker
a Just solid brooding. edge just The broody broodiness of everything kind of kills it for me. yeah well and You can't have everybody brooding. Bodhi needs to be more captivating and charismatic.
00:56:39
Speaker
Because Patrick Swayze was. You can see why those people were following him. This guy is just like, yeah he's the leader, so we do what he says. Why? Because he's the leader. yeah he's he's He's also brooding. And then so is fucking Roach. And so is fucking Gromit. And so is Utah.
00:56:52
Speaker
And so is Ray Winstone. And so is Wallace. We do find out why everybody follows him, though. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's he's got the connection to Ozaki. That's not a surprise.
00:57:04
Speaker
Not at all. but I'm glad they didn't try and make that a twist. Like when she's telling the story. I mean, I felt like that's what they were doing. Like was to be a big reveal. But like literally because she starts we're all over the place. But this movie doesn't really have a much of a story. It's like it doesn't. When she starts like, oh, Ozaki didn't die during the third ordeal.
00:57:21
Speaker
He died trying to pay back the earth for what it supplied or whatever. And he was trying to stop this whaling ship and with his little dingy. Yeah. And they just crashed into him. And one one little boy survived. And I just turned to it. and You know, i was like it was Bodhi.
00:57:35
Speaker
And then it's like she has like five or six more lines than she. And then Utah goes. That boy was Bodhi. um Yeah, I think yeah audiences were like, it didn't say he was Bodhi. Maybe he's not Bodhi. It didn't tell me.
00:57:47
Speaker
Well, this is 2015. You have to assume your audiences are fucking idiots. That's what we do. That's what we do in movies. They're coming to see Point Break, the remake.
00:57:56
Speaker
Two of them. We don't get one of those, and that makes me sad. No, dude, at least have Ray Winstone eating some fucking meatball sub. ah Please.
00:58:07
Speaker
Or he's like, know, give me... Two baguettes. Go get me some kebabs. Two couple of kebabs. Well, they're in Paris, right? Yeah. and just Because British people like kebabs and...
00:58:20
Speaker
yeah Yeah, they love the kebabs. When I was over there, that's all you ate was either fish and chips or kebabs. and They liked them Donner kebabs. I'm saying eclairs.
00:58:33
Speaker
Escargot. None of them.
00:58:38
Speaker
But we cut back and it's Papa's driving him home or whatever. I'm driving you to the office got to hang out at the party because he was the boat driver. So they don't know or they do know that he's an agent, but everybody else didn't.
00:58:50
Speaker
And I just like his thing that he's driving. He's like, man, that was some crazy, crazy shit. And I thank you. All I saw was the bottom of my glass. Yeah. And some the really nice butt because he was hanging out with two beautiful bikini babes and getting drunk. So. Oh, yeah.
00:59:06
Speaker
He's like, look, we didn't get anything out of this undercover mission that we just did for the case. I got something. I got something for the case, too. It's a case of herpes. do gift keeps on giving looking at looking at ray winstone he was probably giving i will i was gonna say i will always remember her because i'll have to but no no no he's the one giving he's the one giving herbs look at him but he utah's like i overheard that something was happening in paris tonight so i have to stay and do whatever so he goes to this shady warehouse and
00:59:40
Speaker
ah There's flaming cars and gay it's it's like we're in hardball right now. I thought the same thing. I was like, look at that. Burning cars do happen. ah ah And how do we let him know it's a ghetto? Light that car on fire. Good job.
00:59:55
Speaker
It's like an underground bare knuckle boxing thing, except for and don't really understand what. Like there's no money being made or any like... It's fight club but with looser rules.
01:00:06
Speaker
Yeah. It's a fight club that's just these four guys. No, there was other guys. There was a bunch of other people there. think those were just homeless guys watching. Because it's literally Roach and Roach and Gromit fighting each other. No, Roach was fighting somebody else.
01:00:23
Speaker
Gromit was standing there with Boat. I don't know. Everyone looks the fucking same in this goddamn movie. It's all just generic dark hair, weird fucking tattoos and some form of facial scar. What you, Nazis? These guys have the worst tattoos. All of them. Worst.
01:00:37
Speaker
It's all just like. Black ink flash art that's been randomly placed around around their body. Yeah, I had made that comment i was like if these were actual real tattoos they would be done in a better way they'd be Positioned better they would not be that black. This is the only one I have where you can really see them of Utah if you're watching like video, but they're just like randomly Did you happen to did anyone catch what his knuckles said because I swear to God but one hand said kale Take Kale.
01:01:06
Speaker
If this guy has kale tattooed on his hands, hate that. I did read. oh Maybe it was take all. I did read in the trivia that they're upside down. I never didn't notice because didn't care.
01:01:16
Speaker
But it's it's to where he can read it yeah when he's on his motorcycle. Normally you would have it where other people can read it. Break. Stop and go.
01:01:29
Speaker
That is fan fucking tastic. No, but they're all positioned incorrectly. um Keep talking. I'm going to see if I can find it. and But I don't know if this is true or not, but Bodhi is like, I told Utah to meet us here because at first he gives him a look like the fuck you doing in here because he says this is a small world, isn't it? Or whatever.
01:01:49
Speaker
But then he's like, oh, I told him to meet us here.
Bodhi and Utah's Bonding Moment
01:01:51
Speaker
And then so Bodhi and Utah box each other. Kicking the shit of each other a little bit to enlighten Utah, I guess. going to punch him in the face to enlighten him. Too hard to find.
01:02:02
Speaker
Well, this guy's used to probably being a winner. So it's just like Patrick Swayze in the other one was like, this is going to hurt, but it's good for your your ah emotional growth. He's like, you need to learn. You're not top dog. Watch this. Bam. I'm better than you. How's that feel?
01:02:16
Speaker
So then they smoke a joint together, which is nice. It's good stuff. You can smoke a joint in PG-13 now. It's pretty Yeah. I mean, you can just say
Diverse Cast and Character Depth
01:02:25
Speaker
it's a cigarette. Yeah, but they were going... it's because they're in France.
01:02:30
Speaker
You have to smoke it like are we a real Frenchman from the under, like Mon ami. And Bodhi invites him to join them on the Life of Wind ordeal.
01:02:42
Speaker
And one of the dudes, I think it's a Chowder, is the one, like, they're all leaving, and he goes up to him, he's like, I don't trust you. I guess they're like Spanish or something. but They're all different. Roach is French.
01:02:55
Speaker
ah no ah No, Roach is Icelandic, the actor. Yeah, there you go. the I looked it up, was
Unique Character Features
01:03:01
Speaker
that's cool. The profiles said one of them was from Norway, and one of them is we was Norwegian, but born in maybe it was France or Spain or something like that and then uh Bode is born in Venezuela and what which the real actor is born in Venezuela so yes I like an ethnically diverse cast mean that's there's nothing wrong with that and it doesn't feel forced it's just that everyone's generic give me something more like maybe give him thicker accents I'd like to see Roach in some Viking shit
01:03:32
Speaker
All right. He's got those like crazy big blue eyes. And I'm like, oh, you you worship Loki, don't you? i mean, he is the most distinct looking of the group. You don't Can worship. You pray to Loki.
01:03:46
Speaker
Yeah. um He's got the scars and stuff, but he just has the most distinct looking face. Out of the group. Agreed.
Dialogue and Pacing Humor
01:03:56
Speaker
um Besides Venezuelan and Tom Hardy.
01:03:59
Speaker
i could I could pick him out because he was the one that had a beard. That's you tell us a apart, too. Whitney's the one without a beard. um So, yeah, they go to do this ordeal of the wind or whatever the fuck it was called.
01:04:14
Speaker
They hike up this mountain. Give me a rock. And... um This is when one of the guys is like, they do their line. Like the first one when Keanu says, great point break there.
01:04:26
Speaker
But yeah this, this is the first time I wrote this in my notes and I wrote it multiple times after this. It's feel the wind and you'll, or you'll hit your point. The point where you break.
01:04:37
Speaker
Yep. Because like, well, we can't, we have to explain why this is called point break. Yeah. I literally, i just wrote wet fart noise. Yep. Yeah. How many times you got that in your notes?
01:04:52
Speaker
and No less than three. Okay. That's about right. but Maybe more. Maybe closer to eight. Well, this is already our second one. Well, yeah. i That's because at this point I was already thinking about it. It wasn't in my notes the first time.
01:05:04
Speaker
This is the point in the movie where I was like, and then I started thinking about the rest of the movie. Because we're like, what, 30 minutes into the movie now? Maybe 20? yeah and And I'm still like, okay, it's not bad. like all the All the cool action stuff, because I did want to bring back the joke that Whitney brought up where they talk about the rock.
Camaraderie Highlighted
01:05:24
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I actually yeah kind of enjoyed that. I like it. was as as i As a good group prank, that's funny. Pass me that rock. What rock? And he looks in the bottom his backpack just giant fucking mini boulder and he's like, alright, that was good. You got me. Always check your fucking pack.
01:05:41
Speaker
It's like a 10, 15 pounder rock, dude. Oh, it's a big buy. It was a big fucking rock. um So they have this thing and this is another reference to the original because they throw the rock off.
01:05:54
Speaker
Count how long it takes to hit the bottom. Six seconds to fly or die. Which is, I think, a reference to the climax of the original. yeah and He's like six seconds ti we ah till we're meat waffles. Yeah, that's right. You should use the word meat waffles if you can. If you can bring back the term meat waffles in your movie, you do it.
01:06:12
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. He throws the rock six seconds to meat waffle. There you go. Did he just say six seconds to meat waffle? I think that's what he said. Oh, my God.
01:06:24
Speaker
And this is where they give him a little speech because they camp out and he's like talking about the Ozaki 8 again. And he's like, Ozaki was trying to complete the 8 ordeals to bring attention to the fact that Earth is dying. And I'm like, to who? The people on YouTube that follow your extreme sports channel? because yourt You're preaching to your own
Environmental Themes and Ozaki 8
01:06:42
Speaker
choir anyway, though. Anyone that knows this guy is that an environmental warrior is already on the side that the Earth is dying. You need to find a way to make it more...
01:06:50
Speaker
This is the way to make it more. I guess maybe when Ozaki was doing it, because Bodhi was a kid, they say, right? So this would have been like mid-90s. Oh, that's true. when Ozaki was doing it, people actually watched extreme sports like a lot. Like it was not just on MTV, ESPN, X Games, all that shit.
01:07:07
Speaker
So like maybe at that time he could have brought attention somewhat. But it would have been to a bunch of fucking stoners who don't who are like, that sucks, brah. um And then they eat three bags of Doritos and throw it in the trash.
01:07:21
Speaker
Oh, man. Hopefully some salsa fair days in there.
01:07:25
Speaker
um Oh, my next note right after that was or some such pretentious nonsense. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. It is it is leaning so heavily in this fucking guru spiritual. Yeah.
01:07:36
Speaker
So they do this wingsuit thing where they jump off. ah First, I wrote bunch of squirrel suits. Little sugar gliders. Yeah. This one, apparently, this is ah one of the biggest stunts in the movie as far as like production. It's one of the coolest looking fucking things, too.
01:07:51
Speaker
The longest glide shot it for three and a half weeks. It's in it's in a place in Switzerland. I've seen wingsuit videos in this same area. I think this is a place where people like because it's just the way that the the ground slopes down and stuff. I think it works out.
01:08:04
Speaker
Yeah. But they did over 60 jumps and cut it all together to make this oh cool sequence. Over three and a half weeks. That's a lot of shit. and Oh, and i do have I just noticed one other note because I had that earlier in my notes. Dry fart notes.
01:08:18
Speaker
No, the yacht that they're on back at the ah the the Ocean Extreme Sports Party. The one with the skateboard ramp? Yeah. Yeah, it's a real boat, obviously. It's called the Ocean Emerald, and you can rent it for
Stunt Work and Realism in Switzerland
01:08:31
Speaker
only $100,000 a week. Actually, that's not bad. So if anybody out there really wants to join our Patreon, get 500,000 of your friends to join.
01:08:42
Speaker
And then we'll have you. will I'll skateboard off that ramp. I'll skateboard right off that ramp. Oh, I will skateboard the fuck off that ramp if we get... You'll skateboard and land into an ocean? If Patreon gives us enough money to rent a $100,000 boat, you'd have to.
01:08:58
Speaker
I'll do it. It's in writing. I mean, not writing. It's in video. I can't skateboard. Neither can I. I can stand on one. I can't. I can't stand and move. Can I lay on one?
01:09:10
Speaker
and we Yeah, you can ah lose. We'll allow it. Okay, then I'll do it. There we go, people. ah But yeah, it's a pretty cool stunt. I would rollerblade in, but that's how I drowned. You can't swim in rollerblades.
01:09:23
Speaker
Put floaties on your arms. ah That's how you make rollerblading cooler is by putting floaties on your arms. and brand No one's going to respect me. for a flamingo waste one. I was thinking a big pink pink duck inner tube, but flamingo also works. It's a big pink duck.
01:09:40
Speaker
You know, with everything combined, it kind of does make it cooler. all ill be days as long As long as you're wearing Buttafuku pants while you do it. And obviously you have to have a joint.
01:09:54
Speaker
like go Oh yeah. oh I'm to get my gecko brand workout pants. It is a really cool stunt. It is included in our opening video. If you're watching on ah YouTube you can see that or on Patreon. Also I'm going to be posting that intro video on our social medias. Go look it up because you can see a lot of this stuff.
01:10:12
Speaker
I like the way you get to see that fucking sprawling little mountain going out. It is fucking cool. and I mean, there's that point where they're going down over like there's a cliffside and they're like because they're obviously descending.
01:10:23
Speaker
And there's that point where like their feet brush the grass right before they get to the edge of that next cliff. oo It's pretty fucking cool. Oh, yeah. That was Utah's foot that gets a the grass. Is it? Yeah.
Narrative Structure Critique
01:10:32
Speaker
He was the one the blue. you cut the dialogue out of this movie, we can make it like, what, 40 minutes, 45 minutes? It's stunt rock.
01:10:39
Speaker
ah Yep. At least stunt rock knew what it was. Cocaine fueled nightmare. Yeah. It's funny though, because at this point this was happening and I was like, what does this have to do with super waves in France? Because I didn't catch that that other wave thing was actually the challenge. I was like, that's a I mean, it's a big wave, but I saw bigger waves in Point Break.
01:10:57
Speaker
They don't tell you that. And also when we do finally get that, because we're going to jump all over because we have that board that he figures out, like the things we don't get to see all the stunts. That's a stupid move.
01:11:08
Speaker
Yeah. Like he lists, he's like, oh, they did this. They did this. They did this. Okay. Show me that. Well, we we did see them. We did see them. It's the skydiving the window thing. And it's the skydiving into the hole.
01:11:21
Speaker
Yeah. But there was at least one other, one or two others he talked about that we didn't see. I think that say they need to do a better job of presenting them. So I said I would get to it later. I'll talk about it now. At the end of the movie, all of a sudden we get subtitles on the screen yeah that say where the location is.
01:11:37
Speaker
Hasn't happened for the rest of the movie. It only happened yeah for the last two scenes. What they should have done if they were going to do that, one, if you're doing it at the end, do it throughout the movie. It doesn't yeah make any sense. Two, you could have been like, Ordeal three, the life of the wind, perfect Switzerland or whatever. Like it would have been stupid, but it would have helped me to understand what the fuck I was watching. Yes, I agree. agree. i agree and And also, I mean, they show the board with the names of all the all the the ordeals.
01:12:04
Speaker
That's great. That's an hour and 20 minutes into this hour and 44 minute movie. They should have showed us the list of ordeals at the beginning. I mean, gone in 60 seconds at least did the board thing the right way. Or I was thinking um ah Billy Madison, just have have ah Utah cross a name off and start putting lipstick on all crooked.
01:12:24
Speaker
Glad I called that guy. um But yeah, they do the they do the jump, but now they're all like at the top. Bodhi was Bodhi likes Utah. The other two hate him yeahp at the bottom. They're all like, holy shit. We went through this together. We're friends. Much like we're now. rathering sequence I don't think we're friends.
01:12:41
Speaker
We are. firmly we are because that's what we cut to next is family. And you think they're going to like say grace or something. But what they're doing is like, all right, everyone hold hands because you can do whatever non-denominational worship you want. And we just always end on firmly.
01:12:58
Speaker
But they're drinking wine and not Coronas because they didn't want to get in trouble for copyrighted. Derek had made a comment at this. Also, you can't get Coronas in wherever they are now. Oh, I guarantee you can. Where you think they are? Switzerland?
01:13:10
Speaker
Yeah, when I was in England, all anybody was drinking besides me at the pubs was Budweiser and Corona. I'm going Google it. So tourists? No, the locals.
01:13:22
Speaker
I was the tourist drinking the British beer. Can you get Coronas in Switzerland? Yeah. I was the local of the tourists drinking the British beer and the locals were all drinking bottles of Budweiser and Corona, except for my ex's uncle who lived in Ireland. So when he came over for the wedding, he was drinking Guinness. I'm only two years wrong.
01:13:40
Speaker
As of 2023, you can buy Corona in Switzerland. OK.
Comedic Take on Hygiene Issues
01:13:44
Speaker
um So Derek had made the comment at this part of the movie, like everybody must fucking stink.
01:13:51
Speaker
Oh, God. Yeah. I mean, it was it was her hat that made me think of it because anybody wearing that hat or that armpit up. But like these people are just running around doing this shit. I mean, I guess in between they're going to like Alpharee's place so they can shower.
01:14:05
Speaker
But this one they're sleeping in this bombed out farmhouse. Yeah, like this is Switzerland. There's a hot spring under every house there, I'm pretty sure. But her just wearing that fucking like big beanie thing that goes over her hair. like I can smell patchouli. Yeah, anybody who wears that smells like patchouli or like a... Frankenmer.
01:14:23
Speaker
Frankenmer? Frankenmer. Gold frankincense and myrrh? Yes. or Or lavender. Old Frankenstein with myrrhs. But it's one of those ones where they've got all that shit on and you still smell the BO. That's a strong, that beef's strong.
01:14:42
Speaker
um This is when he starts trying to heal from Jeff. He's talking to Bodhi about like Jeff died or maybe it's her. no It doesn't matter. it's Yeah, it's Bodhi at some point. That's when he's like, no, no, no, that wasn't you. He like he followed you because that was his line.
01:14:56
Speaker
And then that became his line. Yeah, and it's Chekhov's line. go's line It's Chekhov's line because at the end of the movie, we have Gromit who follows the line that he can't see. And then he dies.
01:15:09
Speaker
That's the wettest fart of death in this movie. but um So life life of ice. The wettest fart of death.
01:15:18
Speaker
Rest in fucking pictures, Tony Todd is rolling over in his grave right now. He's like, I could have killed them all so much better. I'm doing a better job of labeling these than the movie, by the way. This is Life of Ice, the sixth ordeal.
01:15:29
Speaker
No, you're doing a job of they're snowboarding. It's not even better job, it's just a job. They snowboard down Death And then also get a voiceover right here. he's Utah is talking to us, the audience. like Oh, yeah. it Chowder finds the the point but couldn't quite find the line. I found the line. Wow, I totally tuned that out. Yeah.
01:15:50
Speaker
I'm like i i said see him making the report right. Oh, but cut back to that. I don't know. Not well directed. Yeah. Random voiceover. Yeah, the snowboarding parts cool because yeah, they're all like we don't see a line. We're gonna have to go somewhere else and you get that fucking pretentious horse shit Utah's looking down. He's like it's beautiful line and it's beautiful.
01:16:10
Speaker
That reminds me there's a line from I think it's Terminator Salvation. It's the one that has comment in it where like I see it and it's beautiful. It's just a ah wet fart of a line that's always stuck with me from that movie.
01:16:23
Speaker
And now, here it comes crop dusting on over to the podcast. A little crop dusting again, because we'll still talk about that one day. Just queefing way down the mountain. Queefing its way.
01:16:34
Speaker
But they reach a cliff and they're like, all right, this is the end of the line. And Utah's like, fuck no. And keeps going. And I think it's Bodie that's like, we'll never, or no. Chowder. Gromit says, was it Chowder? He's like, this is where I died, man. One of them says it.
01:16:49
Speaker
Well, he's like, we're never going to finish what we started if we die on this mountain. And Bodhi's like, yeah, it'll be fucking cool. And so they go down. It'll be fucking awesome, dude. No, it won't. And Chowder kind of unceremoniously eats shit just tumbles off a mountain. yeah But then it's Utah that's like, we've got to go fucking get him.
01:17:05
Speaker
I kept waiting for like a parachute to open and him come back out. Like, I don't know. It was just like, is he really dead? That's the ordeal extreme part of it is like you don't have the safety net there.
01:17:17
Speaker
You know, you're doing this crazy snowboarding thing. If you did it with a parachute, you're not really putting your life in the hands of Mother Earth or whatever. That's fair. right. You're doing some work shit. um Yeah Utah is the only one who seems upset about it He's like we gotta go get him and they do end up Retieving the body but even when they're sitting there Afterwards at this fucking nightmare Chalet that they go to This fucking horse shit Modern sculpture with glass Windows in it this building is disgusting But like when they go there He's sitting there brooding and being sad And everybody else is just like fucking party bro Who cares should have called him broody
01:17:54
Speaker
ah So they do have a funeral pyre. I'm assuming Chowder's body is in this box of wood, which is a pretty cool way to. You guys feel like building a Lincoln Log house of wood and throwing me in it? I'll take that. Oh, you know I'm going the way of William Forsythe, man.
01:18:08
Speaker
I don't ride a motorcycle, but you can strap me to one and light me on fire.
Creative Memorials in the Film
01:18:12
Speaker
Don't forget to put a joint in my mouth. We'll put you in a bar stool. Build a bar around me light that bitch on fire.
01:18:22
Speaker
rollerblades. On rollerblades. That would be sick. Goodbye, Fruit Booter.
01:18:32
Speaker
I guess he really was a flamer
01:18:37
Speaker
Utah's trying to push he's got to get something for the case so he's like I see a lot of taking on the way to enlightenment but what's being given back they still don't tell him but Samsara kind of sells everything out he's hanging out of her he did ask right there yeah but he wanted him to learn it he's taking him on a journey for emotional growth a journey with Ernie yeah But this is where we talk about a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter. Like Ozaki would have hated this party.
01:19:05
Speaker
He always gave something back. Sometimes he did something simple like plant a tree. Sometimes he did something more complex like taking Samsara in when her parents died in an avalanche. Because that's important because Ozaki's a character.
01:19:17
Speaker
um And then they told about the whaling and all that. we need to we should have dead parents. Gotta have dead parents. Because Lori Petty did. Yeah. Yeah. So we find out the stuff about Bodhi and the whaling ship and all that jazz.
01:19:30
Speaker
And he's going to complete what Ozaki set out to do with action instead of ideas. Yes. yeah And then they maybe explain that the companies that he's been taking money from are hugely like environmentally dangerous.
01:19:43
Speaker
You know, maybe make that statement. Like, oh, this oil company. Oh, this mining company. We do see them take out the mine, which makes perfect sense. But like the the money from the airplane.
01:19:53
Speaker
Tell me that that money is going towards ah strip mining the Amazon. Well, that's the thing. They have the diamonds, so I guess I can understand that one. The money doesn't make any sense. It was just a bank. I mean, banks are evil, but like sure but like those things were just like pranks. Those were those were stunt pranks.
01:20:11
Speaker
Yeah, stunt pranks. The gold mine that we're going to get to here shortly, like literally right now, is straight up eco-terrorism. like They are murdering if at least dozens of people.
01:20:24
Speaker
I mean, they try to get the people out of the truck, and then they're like, well, I gave you a warning shot. yeah I mean Utah's the only one who really tries But Because he is an FBI agent He wakes up to these texts From Papas and he has to run off to him It's been 12 days And I haven't heard nothing from you Yeah we've been watching you I know what you've been getting up to And he's got photos of them flocking I've already checked off to these a couple of times You can have them Just wipe the sticky off them
01:20:56
Speaker
You don't want this one. I've made a wink on each one of them. But and then he immediately goes back and they're like, being gone for a day. I'm like, what? What?
01:21:07
Speaker
but You guys are still here? You just were like, well, Johnny, Utah disappeared or Utah. I don't know if they ever say it's Johnny. Utah disappeared. We'll just wait a day. Well, Roach is really pissed.
01:21:18
Speaker
Yeah, but not pissed enough to do anything about it. They're just like, you've been gone for a day. Anyway, here's your backpack. ah So Bodhi does answer his question from the night before. He's like, it's time to give back.
01:21:30
Speaker
So they go off they have a but buttload of C4 and they're going to this gold mine to liberate the gold. Not steal it. Liberate Yeah, because they don't think what they're doing is illegal. They're like, we're going to put it back in the earth. I'm like, this doesn't actually do that. You're just putting gold under rocks now.
01:21:48
Speaker
That's their plan, though. just make it like These guys already dug it up once. They can dig it up again. Yeah. yeah You think that you killing some of their employees is going to stop the people who run that company from coming back and getting that gold? no These are probably indigenous people that were well underpaid anyway if not being taken advantage of. They can find more of those. You can always find an indigenous person to take advantage it of when you're a corporation.
01:22:08
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Not that we condone that. No, don't condone it. i think that's the... If you look up ah corporation in the dictionary... That's one of the qualifications. Who's our vice president?
01:22:22
Speaker
Vance. J.D. Vance. Doesn't he have that in his book?
01:22:27
Speaker
I don't remember. I listened to the dollop about it. We will have to watch that movie, though. It's out. It's on Netflix, I think. It came out like five years ago. What movie? red Redneck Diaries or Hillbilly Journals or whatever the fuck.
01:22:39
Speaker
Based on his book. um I didn't know they made a movie out of that. Oh, they they on the dollop episode about J.D. Vance. He talks about a lot of that information came from the book. And then he's like, they're making a fucking movie out of it. Directed by Ron Howard, by the way.
01:22:55
Speaker
Oh, my God. More like red Howard. um Because he votes red. if So they attack the convoy. and he a communist.
01:23:09
Speaker
The two these two right the other two guys drive up a mountain and set up the C4. There's a really cool car crash. um The they've smashed into this Range Rover and like push it off this thing.
01:23:19
Speaker
And then they the production through a real car off of a real ledge. And this thing just fucking flips. We love that. And smashes into. mean, by the time that thing reaches the bottom, it's a chassis.
01:23:30
Speaker
The rest of that vehicle is gone. It's cool. That's some credit I can give. Like, that was a lot of the trivia was obviously from an interview or maybe a commentary or something that one of the producers did.
01:23:40
Speaker
And it because it was a lot of like whatever his I don't remember his name, but whatever this guy did, he said, i was trying to make a movie with real stunts, people in danger, like getting away from. c They use CG as minimally as possible. There's a couple of points you see.
01:23:54
Speaker
The avalanche that happens right here. Obviously, the avalanche is CG, but the dirt bike riding is real. The avalanche is the one thing I was like, all right, it doesn't look amazing, but also I get why you had to do it.
01:24:06
Speaker
It's life-threatening. Yeah, you can't throw people in front of an avalanche. Oh, land-changing. You can't just orchestrate a land avalanche, especially. You can. Snow, we can talk about a snow. Yeah.
01:24:18
Speaker
But that that kind of what you just said speaks to, i think, how bad this script is and how dry and flat everybody is. Because we always talk about, give us a modern movie with real stunts. And here it is.
01:24:30
Speaker
We got them. And we are liking that aspect of this movie. But it's just everything in between has been like, here's Utah and fucking The Wanderer. It's like, I don't care.
01:24:40
Speaker
I really don't care. Here's Bodhi talking about why they're doing it. I really don't care. The character I know the best at the end of this movie is Utah, and I don't know anything about it.
01:24:51
Speaker
Uh-huh. I know a lot more about Ray Winstow anything else. I like drinking cocaine, giving herpes, getting herpes. You know, the upsy-downsies, the in-betweensies.
01:25:03
Speaker
eleveniess Eleven Z's. Eleven Z's. but then so wallace so I've already had herpes. What about second herpes? What about the high five? ah wall Wallace and Gromit base jump off this cliff.
01:25:15
Speaker
Utah runs off to save some of the mining employees. And Bodie sets off the C4. And that's when the avalanche happens. Right before that is when... ah Utah gives himself up. He's like, freeze FBI. i can't let you do that, brother.
01:25:29
Speaker
FBI, kind of. I'm on a probationary period. I don't have the time to explain it to you. Okay, fine. So my boss at work doesn't think I'm really fit for this job. He thinks that I'm having like a midlife crisis because my friend died. And, you know, so I'm i'm working for them. If I can arrest you, I'll actually be a full fall. That's coming down really fast. We should probably get going.
01:25:45
Speaker
um If I can arrest you, though, they will make me an FBI agent, though. They will make me FBI. But right now it is probationary. Please come with me because that mountain is bearing down on us very fast. Like I said, I am an FBI agent, kind of.
01:26:01
Speaker
Freeze Quantico. What?
01:26:05
Speaker
Citizens arrest Technically But yeah they do this really It's a really cool dirt bike chase down the mountain And that's when he at They get to the bottom of the mountain here and he tells them Like all you had to do was ask and then they zoom off And chase through the forest Like it's fucking ah Return of the Jedi Yep. Redwoods and Endor.
01:26:25
Speaker
They kind of smash into each other and crash. And this was this is another part where I have wet fart noise written down because it's the ripoff of the, you know, can't shoot him because he loves him so much part from the first movie. you When you shoot, you don't miss.
01:26:42
Speaker
There's other times you could have done this. This just feels like they were like, let's shoehorn this in somewhere. cause It's like they crash. He's not really injured, Utah. He's just laying on the ground and Bodhi's already standing up. So he pulls out his gun, doesn't shoot him, but there's not really a pause. He just kind of like points a gun at him.
01:26:57
Speaker
Bodhi runs away and then he fires it in the air and he doesn't even go. ah He does go. He doesn't get that second one. That second one is important.
01:27:08
Speaker
I just i do understand you have to put it in. But you just said why this one doesn't work. Find somewhere else to do it. Find a better way to do it. But you have to do this, right? So and instead of the stupid twist during the bank robbery that's coming up, you have it actually be Bodie.
01:27:25
Speaker
And then you have it during that. As soon as that bank robbery happened and the chase started, I was like, here it is. You've got Utah on foot chasing a dude on a dirt bike. This is the moment you could have done it. That would have worked well.
01:27:39
Speaker
He tells them, well he's like but right before he does the fire into the air, he's like, we knew you were a cop. I just thought I could save you. ah Every day, man, you're on your way to your work in your fucking metal coffin. Just dying on the freeway.
01:27:55
Speaker
In your fiberglass coffin. The metal coffin. ah How Body Farms started. Oh, nice. and just finished that with a dollop. Oh. was like, what?
01:28:06
Speaker
but Body Farms. Derek's like, I don't think I own Body Farms on 4K or Blu-ray. Body Farms. Body Farms. Oh, here it is. Blood Delirium. Blood Sucking Freaks. Blood Beat. Blood Bath. Blood Tracks.
01:28:17
Speaker
No Body Farms. man. If you said Blood Farm, I would have given you points. No, the next one is The Boogie Man. Ah. You dancer? Yeah, it's a movie about a monster that just dances people to death. You can't tell me you wouldn't watch that.
01:28:32
Speaker
Oh, no, he's doing the mashed potato. i bet you'd be a great monster. It's Footloose, but Kevin Bacon is actually a monster. You know why dancing's outlawed? It brings out the monsters. The Monster Mash, it's in the song.
01:28:47
Speaker
they actually there was i watched something where that was the plot. you If you danced, it brought out the monster inside of you. Yeah, it's called Footloose, dude. It's called Sinners. Makes you a fucking monster. right It is Sinners. you you play You play that blues music and the demons come. Yeah, that's the devil's just got goosebumps thinking about that scene. that What they don't tell you about the fact that it's the devil's music, it's just because the devil really likes it. It's just really good.
01:29:12
Speaker
Yeah. It's not that an evil song. it's just that Satan likes that that blues rock. The devil has lost many a music battle to humans. Hey, come on. I've heard the devil went down to Georgia, man. The devil wins the fuck out of that every time.
01:29:26
Speaker
but and do ah Even in the Primus version. Yeah, especially in the Primus version. Yeah. Great music video for that, by the way. Stop motion. Awesome. Claymation thing. Fuck yeah. Anyway.
01:29:39
Speaker
um He reports back to Pappas and Lindo and he's like, i tried to stop him, but he doesn't see these things as crimes. He sees them as offerings and da da da. And we get the same thing from the original. It's like, no, you're getting too close to this shit.
01:29:51
Speaker
So we're going to do something about it. They if they freeze all of Alphareek's assets. And this is when Utah's like, they're going to do this either way. Things are going to get ugly. And I think it's Ray Winston. It's like, ugly is what we do. We do ugly best.
01:30:04
Speaker
Yeah. and If you don't think we do ugly best, watch. I'm going to put my junk up against this window and as Sir Mix-a-Lot said, put them against the glass. You're going to love it.
01:30:16
Speaker
Oh, look at that. It's like a smashed up worm with a cantaloupe. I only have the one. With a cantaloupe? it's It's been swollen for days.
01:30:27
Speaker
I've been banging prosies.
01:30:31
Speaker
I had someone feel around yesterday. Then they went up me bum. This is one of the moments. I noticed it a lot, but this really had made it stick out to me. This movie geographically is very confusing, like a lot of modern globetrotting movies, because here he's reporting to Delroy Lindo and Papas.
01:30:47
Speaker
They catch these guys on a closed circuit cameras. They're in Italy. so this FBI station is set up in Italy. Because they go, look, they're about to rob this bank. And then there they are.
01:31:00
Speaker
So why are they in Italy? Was the the mine in Italy? didn't get anything they said. Oh, couldn't tell you. That's, again, would have been useful. Italy. George Lucas fucking style cards.
01:31:12
Speaker
yeah i'm not always I'm not always into name tags like screens on the screen. You can have characters but i do tell you right now in this movie you need it, yeah especially when you decide to use it shortly.
01:31:23
Speaker
but I love this this fucking tippy-tap computer guy. He's like, well, it's Saturday and all the banks are closed except for this one branch on top of a mountain and no one would be crazy enough to rob that. i'm like, do you know what case you're on?
01:31:35
Speaker
right yeah i don't think he does. First day here. yeah He's just like, I heard you guys are looking for motorcycle guys. I found motorcycle guys. i don't know why they all have parachutes. This guy hasn't been watching the movie. We need fucking...
01:31:46
Speaker
ah ah
01:31:49
Speaker
Little guy.
01:31:53
Speaker
Will guy. Dark helmet. Oh, Rick Moranis. Rick Moranis. We need Rick Moranis to show up and pop in the fucking VHS tape so this guy can catch up. Michael Penia's grommet would be way better.
01:32:08
Speaker
No, just Michael Penia's this guy. Okay, okay check it out check it out. So you haven't been paying attention, but these guys, they jumped on a fucking airplane, jumped on a bunch of cash, piles of cash, then fucking put but the diamonds. The diamonds went everywhere, man. fucking crazy, crazy diamonds. Then they buried the gold, right? They put the gold they put the gold back in the earth.
01:32:20
Speaker
Insane. Just have him catch you up a little bit. Yeah. ah So they do go to catch these guys doing the robbery. The local cops start shooting first.
01:32:32
Speaker
um I had to look it up because the side of the car looked like it said something like Carbonara. And I was like, is there other cops named after pasta? But it's it's something similar to that. But it's like they're like the SWAT of Italy. They do like a military operations as. So pasta is SWAT?
01:32:46
Speaker
Yeah. Got it. SWAT and people with Carbonara. I mean, you know it's not American because as soon as these guys came out with their guns, we would lit them up. Yeah. Well, and they one of those yeah the Italians are the ones who start shooting. yeah But they don't light them up. They give them some time. Then they then they pop off a shot. And they're like, hey, o o ow, ow.
01:33:04
Speaker
I'll shoot back. Stop tagging me with your fucking bullets. This bulletproof vest, is it still hurts. There's a shootout. Papa sends up hitting Roach and then Utah kills him. The guys throw off some smoke bombs and they escape. Utah chases them down and they jump on this like sky tram, whatever they call them. One of them things. Hey, you name it right, dude. They fought for tram rights.
01:33:27
Speaker
and like i I love it because the one we think is Bodhi that he's chasing hops on this thing as soon as it's going and shoves someone out of the way I was like, that's not Bodhi. Utah runs up to the roof. Jumps off and on to the tram which is pretty cool.
01:33:40
Speaker
Yeah, I like that But it's when we're on the actual tram that you can clearly see that it's not Bodhi. This is like ah ah The Punisher that we watched where it was like well, that's that's the girl Yeah, like because they're all weird. They're wearing all black and motorcycle helmets, but I'm like it's well Bodhi doesn't have tits It's as convincing as when Val Kilmer dressed up as a woman in Willow Funny yes buying it. No and not a woman But he kills who he thinks is Bodhi.
01:34:08
Speaker
But turns out it's Samsara. And now he's very sad. Oh, and we are supposed to be. And we are supposed to be. Not one Bernie knows. Just a couple of fucking dry queefs came out of my eyes.
01:34:23
Speaker
And at the bottom of this tram station, tram station is a train station where he gets out from tram to train. They're staring down at each other. And Bodhi looks really sad.
01:34:34
Speaker
It does the the train going by and Vody disappearing thing. But I'm glad they didn't imply that he grabbed onto that train. He had a dirt bike next to him. And when the train went by and then he was gone, the dirt bike was also gone. yeah The train goes by it's just him with a bloody stump. It's like, I shouldn't have tried that.
01:34:49
Speaker
That ripped right out of the fucking socket, right at the shoulder. My God. You can take me in now. I'm bleeding. This is a train station. Yeah, he was in Express. trains stop at the station? Not all of them. Not all of them. It's like it's like a bus. I was waiting on the number seven. That wasn't his stop.
01:35:03
Speaker
This was the number five. and Trains are all on the same track. I think every train on that track should be stopping at the train track. No, this was a rich person's train. i don't stop for poor people. This is the train from... ah um What's the movie? Snowpiercer.
01:35:18
Speaker
This is the train from Snowpiercer. It doesn't stop. They looked at this guy. They're like, well, he's at the they only stop if there's somebody at the station. Like, he's got a motorcycle. He doesn't need us. Keep going. on the train.
01:35:29
Speaker
The other guy over here just looking at him longingly. I think i think we should just keep going and keep being more dramatic if we do. Speed up. He needs to get to him. We need to give this guy actually a chance to disappear behind the train. I think they're making a movie.
01:35:42
Speaker
So all that's left on the list now, the first time we see the list of all the eight ordeals are seven and eight ah and four because he'd saved Utah instead of completing four, which is the first time we learned that that's what happened.
01:35:54
Speaker
yeah and And finally I was like, oh, my other note doesn't make sense now, but it does. Because they didn't make a big deal. They didn't make a big enough deal about how big that wave was. Like, yeah, they're like, oh, no one's ever surfed it that big.
01:36:05
Speaker
He would have. Okay, move on. Be like, no, you understand that that wave only comes around every fucking seven years or whatever it is. because he says the storm is like a once in a decade storm, but I'm like, okay, but it was sunny out while you guys were surfing, so I'm not really sure. i don't know. The storm is further away that helps the swells work safer because you can't surf in a storm.
01:36:26
Speaker
So we're going to find out. We learn. The last two ordeals are the master of six lives and the leap of faith or some shit.
01:36:37
Speaker
Yeah. blind Blind faith, something. Master of six lives is like a freestyle rock climbing thing. And the only place that he could go because it' out of U.S. jurisdiction is Angel Falls, Venezuela.
01:36:48
Speaker
His home, ah which is also where he was born. And he's like, this has this is the only place we can get him because that fourth one, nothing will happen to cause the big waves like that for years. Yeah. So we can't wait for that. And nobody knows what the eighth ordeal is. It's a mystery.
01:37:03
Speaker
So we have to catch him here, even though it's Venezuela. So they go off to Venezuela illegally. Oh, yeah, because they can't. They have no jurisdiction, no extradition, no nothing. They're not even like an agreement. So they got to smuggle him in citizens arrest.
01:37:19
Speaker
We've got Bodie and Gromit. As we mentioned earlier, Gromit says he can't see the line. So Bodie's on his own. But then Utah shows up and Gromit's like, well, guess I'm going to climb it. Why? they can't They can't arrest you.
01:37:31
Speaker
ah you can I was hoping for a fight when he's like, oh, that's Bodhi's line. Cool. I'll just fucking scrap up a little bit to give some it would have made more sense for Gromit to go fight Utah and try to stop him from catching Bodhi.
01:37:46
Speaker
But then we don't have a way for Gromit to die unless Bodhi just murders him in cold blood. Exactly. Cool. Because he did murder Roach, but that was in a shootout. so Everybody does. He didn't murder Roach. No, he's the one who made the... Pappas hit him, but then Utah took him down.
01:38:01
Speaker
Oh, because he was about to start shooting. He was getting back up and pulled his shotgun and pointed at Papa's or somebody. And so he d fucking took him out. So Papa's doesn't die in this one.
01:38:12
Speaker
No, no. Papa's made it. Oh, that's something they have over this. If if I liked this, Papa's, I would have liked that he lived. but Yeah, because Gary Busey died in that other one and I was very sad about it. Very sad. to live I was more sad about the Buse dying than I was about the Wanderer.
01:38:30
Speaker
who The who? Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, so they both start climbing. Gromit is having trouble, of course. He can't get a grip on this last one.
01:38:41
Speaker
He keeps reaching up and he says, whatever. And then he just, I'll see you soon. And he just, let's go. via ah And here we go again. conos Well, you know what could have also been the effect
01:38:54
Speaker
Because who could care? Yeah. Like, this is the most undramatic death. He could have tried to take out. Fuck it, bruh. I almost said Hunter. He could have almost take out Utah.
01:39:05
Speaker
Yeah, tried. But let's fast forward a little bit. So then now we got Utah chasing Bodie up the mountain or the cliffside. Sorry, not a mountain. And they get to the top, right? Cool. That ordeal's over.
01:39:16
Speaker
Now it's time for the secret one. He figured it out. It's the leap of faith or whatever. Blind faith. You got to jump back down where you just came from into the pool. So wouldn't Gromit just be down there in a pool?
01:39:28
Speaker
um You had he had to get up and then go over to the actual fall because they were. OK, like he was climbing up where like directly below him was the ground they had been. standing Yeah, there was like 20 feet between where Bodhi was standing when Utah got up there. OK, 20, 50 feet.
01:39:43
Speaker
So even a wetter fart. The the freestyle climbing or whatever it's called without the ropes and the all that stuff. It's it's crazy. It's cool to see, but does not make for a very exciting chase scene.
01:39:54
Speaker
This is the part where i I went and looked up who was doing the music because I was like, this music is doing a lot of the heavy lifting. And it is because it makes this much more exciting. Like it's cut. It's cut well here, you know, and everything. But it's just like it's two dudes very slowly climbing up a mountain.
01:40:10
Speaker
It's one of the slowest chase scenes you can get. Yeah. I mean, this is slower than a white Bronco. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, they get to the top, and instead of saying, via con dios which he should have said, Bodhi says, I'm not done yet, and just kind of falls backward into the falls.
01:40:29
Speaker
The Viacondios works so fucking well here because it's like you are just putting your life in and whatever God's hand that you believe in. Yes. Also, you know what language they speak in Venezuela? Oh, is it Venezuelan? It would Spanish. I'm guessing Russian.
01:40:43
Speaker
i'm guessing russian Oh, it's the act of ultimate trust. I have it written here. Sure. that's called. So not the trust fall. That's that's ah that's like ah a business camp trip. It is a trust fall, though.
01:40:54
Speaker
It is a trust fall. it's It might actually be trust the trust fall. Well, it's the it's the pretentious eco-terrorist way of saying trust fall. The act of ultimate trust.
01:41:06
Speaker
I think that's fart when you got a 50 50 brewing the ultimate act of trust. you you done You have a really you have a really bad flu or something and you're like I got a fart but I don't really want to get up the act of ultimate trust.
01:41:21
Speaker
I failed. i lost that one. of fire
01:41:27
Speaker
I look over at Derek and I'm like, is this a coffee river that they're in? Because of all the heavy saturation, the water is so brown that it fucking looks like coffee. surface of the water looks blue like water clean. Wait minute. And I get that it's a river and it's probably dirtier because it's a river. It's got dirt and mud and shit. It's right off of the bowl.
01:41:51
Speaker
You called it a coffee river? yeah Are we posing that like Juan Valdez has a Willy Wonka style area in Venezuela? Yes. That's where he gets the coffee. That's where he gets his cold brew.
01:42:03
Speaker
There's Oompa Loompas around here helping him out. Love that. Yeah, they're called fish. Oh, sorry. Language barrier. They're actually native to the land. I was going to say, they're just called locals who are being taken advantage of by a large corporation.
01:42:21
Speaker
If you're wondering what we're talking about, C-Corporation and Dictionary. So, Pappas gives Utah his badge, and he's like, oh, he figured out the act of ultimate trust. It was diving off the whatnot and everything.
01:42:34
Speaker
So, question. Has Bodhi completed all eight, then? No, he still has to the wave. He has to go do four. No, I'm not Bodhi, Utah. No, he wasn't on the first two. Yeah. On his own.
01:42:46
Speaker
On his own fucking. Oh, is that what you think he's done as seven years? But he never he never dove into the cave of swallows that we saw. He also and he also didn't fall off the this waterfall voluntarily. he dove and followed. some Hold on. Listen to me.
01:43:01
Speaker
Dove and followed Sama Sosara under some coral reef thing, holding his breath for 11 fucking minutes. Yeah, but that was like the the act of ultimate trust thing is like. No, not ultimate trust. Oh, that's what i'm talking about. the last He didn't do the last one technically because he didn't jump off that cliff or fall off on purpose. He tried to grab Bodhi.
01:43:20
Speaker
Either way, either way, if he wants to complete it, he has to go do the other the first two, three heists that we saw. He has to go do those stunts on his own fucking time. He has said that he had done like he had parachuted there, done something jumping out of a train and then.
01:43:36
Speaker
yeah Yeah, but these are specific locations and things that they're doing. That's because that was their line. so Yeah, but he just he hasn't done the Caleb Swallows thing at least. That's the only one that... Because you have to go from sky to ground underground, right? Yeah, something like that. If one of the challenges is putting your gun in the air and going, ah, he's got that.
01:43:57
Speaker
Just like that, though. You can't put ah um any emotion into It's just. Ah, my best friend. The act of Keanu Reeves. Ah, the eight wet farts.
01:44:09
Speaker
So this is the first time we get the first time we get. titles on the screen of a location. 17 years later. 17 months later. Cortez, Cortez Bank. 17 months later. Oh, I thought it said years. No, it's months. I was like, damn. um And it's it's the only, it's the only location title we've gotten in the whole movie, which I took note of here. Cause I was like, what?
01:44:30
Speaker
Um, It's Bodhi out on this little fucking dinghy heading towards some big waves. Utah gets dropped off by a helicopter. They're talking about how cookki stuff he's like, he's like, these are 100 foot waves or 150 miles from shore.
01:44:44
Speaker
There's you can't survive. there's I'm taking you in blah, blah, blah. Isn't that what makes it beautiful? Yeah. Isn't it so beautiful? And this is my path. Let me complete it. And I'll see you soon, Utah.
01:44:55
Speaker
And then Utah just. latches back up to this chopper and goes up and Bodhi goes out does his thing this little CG character drowns there is a moment in there of a real person surfing there are shots of someone surfing but the far shots and like obviously the shit where the parts where he eats shit and everything it's not good CG but I'm not gonna rip on the movie too much for that because most of this has been real right so i do like the helicopter sorry go ahead as i say I have to say, from what I've learned about helicopters from one of my regulars, ah they would not fly in this.
01:45:33
Speaker
Period. Probably not. I mean, this is ah it would be like maybe if they were trying to rescue somebody with this is straight up like we got to catch this bad guy. No, we don't. Even Coast Guard won't do it. Well, we don't have to catch him.
01:45:44
Speaker
That's my thing here. This ending is so much more than the original, because even though it's the exact ending, it's like, let me go hit the big wave, whatever. Like it it doesn't have the gravitas and it doesn't make any sense because now he's endangered himself and this chopper pilot, which the Jack was about to say something about the chopper. But yeah, the chopper parts I wear to is like home.
01:46:07
Speaker
I just think I don't know where you live, dude. we mean my My home. Do you want did you want to come to my house? Yeah. But like in the original, he, you know, he lets him go. And the Australian police are like, why'd you do that? We'll get him when he comes up. That's not Australian, but it's fine.
01:46:22
Speaker
And it's like, crikey. And, you know, he walks away and he's like, he's not coming back, whatever. And this one. This chopper pilots like so just take you.
01:46:33
Speaker
I'm going to file a report when I get back. You know that right? So you had to say I had his he had his hands on him and then he was like, sure, go ahead and kill yourself because unlike the original one also, there's some chance that maybe he makes it to shore. He survives.
01:46:49
Speaker
This guy paddles to Old Zealand. This guy puts his boat at full speed, jumps off, and surfs this wave. Unless he's planning on riding this wave 150 miles to shore.
01:47:00
Speaker
Right. There's no surviving this. So it's like this chopper pilots like we could have just not done this. Yeah. the The gas and my hazard pay is coming out of your check. Just so you know. Also, this is Sunday. This is overtime for me.
01:47:15
Speaker
And there's one last thing. another so Another title on the screen for no reason really. other i You know what? I know why they gave us the title. It's the Wasatch Mountains, Utah.
01:47:27
Speaker
um Oh, he went home um and he starts snowboarding and it's credits. I was like, going to have a whole thing here? Now he snowboards down and there's credits. Thankfully. Thankfully.
01:47:38
Speaker
ah ah So I'm just going to quickly say, don't bother watching this. It was very boring. ah The end.
01:47:48
Speaker
Full stop. and Jack? Yeah, I'm trying to think of a way to watch it, but not really. like It's not good enough to be a good movie. It's not bad enough for what our kind of enjoyment is.
01:48:00
Speaker
The stunts are fucking dope. So, I mean, like if if you could just put this on without the... plot and the talking yeah much better fucking way of doing it so if you can find this for free and you just want to fucking turn your brain off and and just you know watch something it's there for that but it's a low it's the lowest it recommends yeah i it's so you would call it a soft recommend soft flaccid it's a wet fart of a recommend i mean i'm gonna say a big no recommend but I can agree with, like, you could put this on with music kind of thing.
01:48:33
Speaker
It's just that the in-between scenes get very long. Yeah. So, like, if someone's got a YouTube supercut, that's just all the stunts. I would recommend watching that. Stunt rock that shit. Maybe I go and, like, screen cap this whole movie, and then I'll just cut out all the talkie-talks.
01:48:50
Speaker
There you go. I'll watch that. Because it's just something you can put on. The stunts are really cool, and they are... real stunts done by real people. There's obviously nice.
01:49:01
Speaker
There are nice butts. They're nice. boobs There's nice boobs. um They are. The stunts are minimally assisted by CG, but it's never, it's never really the stunt itself, except for the surfing at the end.
01:49:13
Speaker
It's always stuff around them, the money and the money drop thing, the avalanche and in that scene. Obviously those things are CG, but like, The stunts are cool. It's just that the movie is nothing.
01:49:25
Speaker
On Letterboxd, I gave it a one and a half stars because I was like... That's about right. just Despite these stunts being really cool and somewhat exciting, the desaturated look of everything kind of pulls away from... If if you had some of these colors, like when they're diving into the jungle and stuff, it would be a lot nicer if these were like real colors.
01:49:43
Speaker
And the plot and the script and the acting are just... barely there. It's like one of the most incompetent scripts ever. It's just built around having extreme sports. The movie, like you guys said earlier, and like Whitney said, it's like stunt rock.
01:49:57
Speaker
Yeah. I would rather watch stunt rock because the in-between scenes are fueled by pure cocaine. Yes. We can turn our brains off pretty well in this podcast. and and Why is there wizard on stage?
01:50:07
Speaker
You know what? Point Break didn't have a wizard, so stunt rock does. Actually, I might have given stunt rock like three stars. so But yeah, we can turn our brains off pretty well and enjoy some fucking schlocky schlocks. That's how bad the rest of this is.
01:50:22
Speaker
the talk So I recommend stunt rock. Yeah, sounds like it. I gave Stunt Rock three and a half stars. I liked it. And I had all of Jack's caveats. I had some greenage, I had some drinkage, and I had all three of all three of my friends.
01:50:38
Speaker
All three of them. Me, myself, and I. She had a dog with her. But yeah, I mean, that movie, which you guys don't know we're talking about, but go look up Stunt Rock. Just watch the trailer. It's like this, but the stunts are less adrenaline-like.
01:50:54
Speaker
ah fueled because they aren't extreme sports stunts they're 80 or set late 70s stunts yeah they're actually movie but it's the same thing it's just it's a series of stunts with a barely feasible plot tying them together did you say it's awesome ah see australian oh yeah oh yeah egregiously um so next week we continue sky timber oh what do we got next week baby well we'll be completing the major league skydiving trilogy oh With cutaway.
01:51:23
Speaker
Oh, look at that Baldwin. We got one of the Baldwin's there. Stefan Wolf. Stephen. ah ah The Rodman. Tom Berenger. Rodman and Berenger. Yeah. Tom Berenger, Dennis Rodman, which we'll have two weeks in a row because we have Dennis Rodman in a movie the next week, too.
01:51:42
Speaker
I'm excited for that one. This is a major a twacky movie, though. And it actually looks I found it on YouTube. Oh, I didn't know it was a made for TV movie.
01:51:53
Speaker
Oh, yeah. It's a TV movie. Oh, OK. Can't wait to talk about it. And then check out our Patreon, of course, at patreon.com slash worstpeople.
01:52:04
Speaker
At the $3 tier, you get our monthly newsletter. You get archived episodes. You get ah Han Took Shots. Click this here. You get Han Took Shots first episodes, early, ad-free, uncut when we do the two-parters. And you get a mental health episode.
01:52:18
Speaker
And this month's mental health episode, which we've clearly obviously discussed a lot today. You can tell it stuck with us. It's Point Break. ah By the time this episode is out, that'll be available. So go check that out.
01:52:31
Speaker
And you know what, guys? You don't just get the episodes from this month. Like, I don't want... If anybody doesn't know how Patreon works, it's not like you're paying $3 a month and you get to hear that month's episode. We have over 46 hours of content on Patreon right now. Oh, yeah. You pay $3 a month, you get access to almost all of it. But if you pay $5 a month, you get access to all of it because you also get Latchkey Vids, which is our TV recap show. Under the gun. About Under the gun.
01:52:57
Speaker
forgotten or never known 90s television shows and uh that that is available on the five dollar level as well as ad free episodes of all of these main feed what was your first episode what was my first episode yeah what was what was our first episode Was it December 5th? Was it December 5th, 2022? Something like that.
01:53:21
Speaker
It's on the VCR on the Latch Me Vids. Yeah, I did put that on the VCR. I just saw that. I'm sorry. I love your a little Easter eggs. They're called testicles.
01:53:33
Speaker
They're not that little. This month's... They're huge, like cantaloupe. This month's episode... This month's episode of Latchkey Vids will be about Cop Rock, Episode 9, Marital Blitz.
01:53:46
Speaker
We're coming up on the end of that, but we have plenty of more content coming later. And there's other stuff that comes up on Patreon. You get... Hope you like Kevin Sorbo. Not as a person.
01:53:58
Speaker
No, no, no. But you get drawings, you get to help choose episodes, you get all kinds of stuff on Patreon. Oh, not Kevin Sorbo. Nope, not Kevin Sorbo. If Kevin Sorbo played Raiden, though, I wouldn't watch that. I don't know why I get them confused. I don't either.
01:54:12
Speaker
That's it. and Go ahead. Oh, well, also want to thank Evasion for providing our opening and closing music. We have a new video and song for the beginning and the end right now. Still Evasion.
01:54:24
Speaker
and Another Evasion song. It's called e for Ephraim. You can get it on there, Spotify and all that stuff. So go check those guys out. Thank you guys for tuning in. I've been Derek. I'm Whitney.
01:54:35
Speaker
I'm Jack.