Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
82 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, the ReShoot Crew watches an original sci-fi movie with allusions to beloved classics of the genre like Star Wars & Warhammer 40k. The movie is fine. We are fine. Thank you for asking.
We do not, nor do we claim to, own the rights to this film in any way, shape, or form.
TW: death, murder, violence, fascism, sexual assault, genocide, war, colonialism
Recommended
Transcript
Picky Eaters: Dogs and Food Preferences
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey Ruthie, how's it like owning a dog? Well I haven't actually owned a dog in several years, but you know what was one of the most frustrating parts of owning a dog? I don't know, I've never had a dog. So my mom's dog, he was a super picky eater, like we'd give him wet food and he'd only eat like a couple of licks and then he'd go for whatever was on our plates. Luckily he's a small dog so it wasn't like a Marmaduke situation.
Exploring Nom Nom: Fresh Dog Food
00:00:25
Speaker
Oh yeah, that's definitely helpful, but have you heard about Nom Nom? Well funny, I may have, but tell me more. Nom Nom is fresh food made with whole ingredients, and it's actually backed by veterinary science. Fresh really means fresh at Nom Nom because you can actually see with your eyeballs what your dog is shoving down its throat. For example, you can actually see the proteins in vegetables.
00:00:50
Speaker
Like beef, chicken, pork, peas, carrots, kale, and more. Geez, that dog's gonna eat better than I do. Yes, I mean, don't you want your dog to always be eat better than you do? I'm out here eating McDonald's like on a daily basis, which is not what I want to feed my dog if I had a dog. And the funny thing is, I actually know how non-non works. You tell them about your... Wait, who are you?
00:01:14
Speaker
Tell them about your pup, the age, the breed, the weight, allergies, and even its protein preferences. And they'll tailor a specific amount of individually packaged Nom Nom meals and send them straight to you. And then you can just store the meals in the freezer or fridge until meal time. And they give you specific instructions on how to transition your dog from foods like kibble to always fresh Nom Nom for best results. You can watch your dog clean their dishes, dance for dinner, and just overall thrive.
00:01:40
Speaker
Isn't it time to feel good about the food you're feeding your dog? Go to www.nomnomnow, all squished together, .com slash reshoot, or use code reshoot at checkout and get 50% off your first order plus
Space Cowboy Critiques
00:01:56
Speaker
reshipping. Plus nom nom comes with a money back guarantee. That means if your dog doesn't love fresh, delicious meals, nom nom will refund your first order. No fillers, no nonsense, just nom nom. Nom.
00:02:09
Speaker
All right, now on to the show. So, you know, I really, really, really like the space cowboy shit. You know, like Firefly, like Cowboy Bebop, kind of the experience, like Dark Matter, like all that shit. And then, and then, and then these people fucking do it and they treat it so fucking horribly that we're never gonna get another one again. We're just gonna get more stars, bullshit.
00:02:37
Speaker
Can't they just get it right? I'm like I have a story in my head And I'm not even a writer and it's ten times better than this goddamn awful bullshit And I don't write shit like I don't know how you can get Space Cowboys this fucking wrong Zack Snyder go back to doing 300 movies, please He has a gay one planned a gay 300
00:03:04
Speaker
A gay 300. He had a- Yeah, he got- 300 historically is already gay guys. No, no, no, I know, but he had one that was legitimately planned as a gay romance. Welcome to reshoot amateurs and no suits.
Movie Review Introduction: Rebel Moon
00:03:17
Speaker
Too many movies to explore. Ruthie, actor, and Ed left till the end. Let's see something never done before.
00:03:29
Speaker
Yeah, but okay. Yeah, welcome to reshoot everyone. We discuss movies that are good, bad, somewhere between and we make them have gay snow. We fix them. Yes. Happy Pride in January. This one, so, you know, has a good, bad, or somewhere in between. This one squarely fits in the bad. Oh, do you say that right now? I, this is almost like,
00:03:57
Speaker
Man I I This could have been good. Yeah, it's so good Yeah, it had it had the nice little nice little hoagie a nice little salami, you know, so pepperoni your tomato your lettuce your pepperoncini your oil and vinegar and then the shit shit in it Just a large turd right there in the hoagie And they wrap it up and serve it to you. That's robo moon. Oh
00:04:29
Speaker
Yeah, no, it's... It's nasty. So... Hello, I am your host. Amateur Greek historian. Ruthie.
Rebel Moon: Plot and Setting Analysis
00:04:44
Speaker
Ruthie. I am your host. A really disappointing Asian stereotype. Hector.
00:04:56
Speaker
I'm your host, Dario Naharis. Wait, which one? From which episode? From which season? Which Dario? Who's to say? Let me look up the plot, because I need to find it. It's not you, it's Ed. Oh god, I'm not prepared. Do you want? No, it's his turn, he can do it. Rebel moon.
00:05:33
Speaker
So Should I just read the Wikipedia article verbatim Long that's long. Just a short plot summary like yes I will give it as short as a plot summary as my memory serves because I did watch this like two weeks ago
00:05:48
Speaker
I will say audience, just imagine New Hope, but bad, but everyone's stupid or an asshole. It's really bad compared to New Hope. All right. So Louis starts off with a girl plowing fields. Yes.
00:06:06
Speaker
on a moon that's like a moon of a planet that looks like Saturn as a ring. Anyways, whatever. She probably feels music rock. I don't know why that scene was there. And then
00:06:21
Speaker
This is like, what did I say? She was like, Oh, no, you always went through a notice. She's, she's discount somebody. I forget. I forget. Like, and no offense to the actress. She did great. It's just, she looks like somebody else. I can't remember who right now.
00:06:38
Speaker
And then the I don't know the character's names. Gunner walks up and like starts talking to her and Gunner's basically discount Deeluna. And then the guy from upgrade is discount Tom Hardy. Anyways, I'm gonna get off that.
00:06:58
Speaker
Kind of goes up to her, they talk, I don't know what the hell is going on. They go back to the town. You get to meet the town leader who's a super swell dude. And a little girl, also, well, not a little girl, like a 18 year old girl, 17 year old, I don't know, 16. Yeah, like someone there. Yeah, like a teenage girl. Older teens. Yeah. And then a big frigate shows up. They can see it in the stratosphere.
00:07:27
Speaker
Keep in mind, everyone, this movie was picked as a Star Wars film by Zack Snyder. Yeah. Also, they were talking in the field about plowing. And then in the village hut, when they were like celebrating, the village chief was talking about the other kind of plowing.
00:07:45
Speaker
Ah, yes. They were kind of like half Vikings. Yeah. And they're like, make sure to fuck tonight, basically, for some reason. I don't remember what they were saying. Yeah, it was a fertility festival where they have a lot of sex. Oh, yes. Why don't we have one of those? Anyways. As a podcast or? No, no, no, just like as a thing. I know, I'm joking.
00:08:10
Speaker
Um, anyways, frigate shows up, drop shot comes down with, uh, the noble, also known as Dario Noharis. You know, his name is Atticus Noble. Atticus Noble. Who is Dario Noharis? You know, who else is also Dario Noharis? Gunner is also Dario Noharis. That's the gag.
00:08:34
Speaker
It's okay everyone, you can leave now. Yeah, just stop listening right now. That was the best thing that I learned about this movie. I totally forgot that the other guy, Noble, I'm gonna call him Noble, that's all I remember. That's fine. You said he's the Noble, but I don't know if he's like a Noble class. His name is Atticus Noble.
00:08:59
Speaker
Anyways, Noble played Darnhaus in season three and then Gunner. What's his name? Something seeks. I forget his name. And then Mitchell. Mathile. I forget his name also. Gunner played. It's sweet. You think I remember names like that. Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to give credit to actors. I don't remember. I only know one other actor name in
Character Deep Dive: Cora's Past and Team Building
00:09:25
Speaker
this movie. Anyways. Nailed it. I only remember one.
00:09:31
Speaker
Noble comes down with some troops. One of them is General Zod. Oh yeah! Casting in this movie. It's all over the place.
00:09:48
Speaker
Yes. Uh, and the Nobles like, or Noble is like, all right, you guys, we need your grain and shit. You know, like Darnaharis already sold it to me, old Darnaharis, like last year, some of the grain. Well, he's playing coy about it at first. It's like, Oh, I'll, I'll pay you like three times the amount. How much can you spare? And then Sindri's like, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. Let me, let me check. Yeah. They're like, like,
00:10:16
Speaker
they play koi and then dario the gunner is like i'm yeah we we have surplus and he ruins everything and then uh because the chieftain was kind of like being koi and straight up lying to him about it and then gunner like called him out on it accidentally or not even accidentally just because the noble said that they were going to give him a lot of money
00:10:41
Speaker
three times the market price. Yeah, three times the market price and then Noble kills the leader and yeah, that happens. And then he's like, I'm gonna want all of it. Basically enough where they're just gonna starve the townspeople. 10,000 bushels out of 12,000.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yeah. Also, this is like a 16th century looking. No, even before that, like 14th century kind of like village kind of looking thing, right? Yeah, it's definitely like it looks like Guimal Thrones, basically. They're basically they're like space Amish.
00:11:21
Speaker
viking space they're like viking they're like viking the space vikings but like that's just the life they're not actually vikings they're vinland saga vike peaceful vikings in space you literally sold them late half vinland saw that okay so vinland saga second half yes shut up um
00:11:42
Speaker
Wow, this is taking already much longer than I wanted it to take. I don't want to dwell on this. Anyways, continuing on. Main Lady, I forget her name. Cora. Cora. She's the main character. You gotta deal with it. Yeah, she really got it. She's the typical brooding, dark past, mysterious past, you know.
00:12:04
Speaker
main character. She wants to get up and leave. But as she's getting ready to leave the town and just, you know, leave them to run the vices because she showed up there like two years prior. Yeah. She sees that the soldiers that showed up are taking a girl and they're gonna do things that are without consent. Anyways, bad. Bad.
00:12:32
Speaker
and she kind of shows up and then you got some cool 300 fight sequences with slo-mo where chorus shows up and is actually a huge badass that comes in later um and then oh yeah the the the soldiers also brought a like little ai robot
00:12:48
Speaker
They're part of the little he's about this their size. But yeah, he's like a pat. He's earlier in the movie. There's a scene with him and the girl. Her name is Sam. And he explains to her that there was a princess and all the AI robots. I absolutely loved this princess. And when the princess dies, basically the Avatar of the Omnissiah.
00:13:09
Speaker
Yeah. And when she died, they decided to stop, put down the weapons. Yeah, they just put down the weapons and stop fighting. So they're not, they're just literally the ad back in 40k minus the murdering and stuff. And yeah, anyways, he shows up and Zod has the girl and he's like, has an hostage chokehold with gunder head and robot like picks up a gun.
00:13:37
Speaker
looks like just like you know like not even like holding it like a gun just like he like kind of grabs it and he's holding it like flat in his hands and he like looks over at General Zod and just like fires it and this as he's just like has is holding this gun like a platter like a plate with two hands and just like shoots him like that and I'm like okay that was pretty cool um and then uh we never see the robot again
00:14:05
Speaker
We do. Later. One more
Sci-Fi Elements and Influences in Rebel Moon
00:14:07
Speaker
time. He runs away. He's a flower crown. The girl makes him a flower crown. It's adorable. I love the robot. We don't see him again until the end. And then he's got an antler crown. No explanation.
00:14:22
Speaker
And he's becoming a warforged druid, basically. And I love it. I love this for him. I forget exactly the order of these things happening, but at some point, I don't know if it's Gunnar or the village chief that talks to her about the blood axes that they can help.
00:14:43
Speaker
since they're rebels against the Imperium. It's Gunner because he sells grain to them. Sindri made a comment to Gunner because Gunner's playing the field. And then she leaves by herself to look for the Bloodaxe? No, Gunner comes with her because Gunner has the contact in Providence who can contact the Bloodaxe. Yeah, but she leaves alone first. No, she doesn't. Gunner goes with her. I thought she was camping and then Gunner shows up.
00:15:12
Speaker
No, no gunner like went off to pee or something and then he comes sits down and she gives tragic does it doesn't core a trauma dump like right then and there? Yeah, good. Yeah, half. She trauma. Yeah, so Cora trauma drums on gunner about her past. So she was a
00:15:30
Speaker
He just issues a little girl and the big bad, the big, big, bad, not noble. The other big bad, I forgot his name. Oh, yeah, it's Billisarius call. Billisarius, it's not call, it's Billisarius. Billisarius call is a character in 40K. Yeah, it's like all the shitty parts of Star Wars.
00:15:59
Speaker
There's also, the general also, his name is also a name from 40k. Primark. Oh, uh, Titus. Yeah. Titus is a character in 40k, not a primark of space brain. Anyways. Uh, Cora Torma drops on Gunner, telling her how she was a kid that was kidnapped by Belisarius. All kind of kidnapped, that Belisarius. No kidnapped.
00:16:23
Speaker
kidnapped by Belisaurus. Well, yeah, like her planet got genocided and as a part of the genocide, she was adopted by Belisaurus and after after Belisaurus gave her an unloaded gun and thought and and she pulled the trigger on him. She's like, oh, she's a killer. That's what she that's why he kidnapped her. And then she was, you know, get a brainwashed because that's what they do. And she was a
00:16:48
Speaker
Basically a commissar from 40. Yep. I was like this whole this whole segment feels 40k, right? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, she looks like a freaking commissar. I don't know what that is. I assume that's the human faction Yeah, I just like the orcs Ha paint it red makes it go faster. Yes Don't get um But yeah, she looks like a commissar and all that she was missing was a chainsword. Um, that's an easy fact to
00:17:18
Speaker
Because she has the haircut for two and the outfit and she was kind of like that and super good fighter, whatever, commander. And then she's also like the bodyguard of the princess. Who can bring back who can resurrect people? She has the force, but not really. An animal. She resurrected a bird. That we saw, she resurrected an animal. A bird.
00:17:41
Speaker
But yeah, she has powers and then she dies. She could save others but not herself. Which is really 40k, because 40k has some fantasy elements, anyways. She's a psyker. Or she was supposed to be a Jedi. I don't, that's not how the Force works. I'm not going to Old Republic lore, I'm not going to Old Republic lore. Don't go to Old Republic lore. It's not canon, it's legends.
00:18:11
Speaker
Okay, trauma dump over basically for that part she and she after the lady dies she like leaves for some reason I forget exactly why doesn't really matter comes a rebel ish or just run away. It's low key implied that she was blamed for aces death during the assassination where the king the queen and the princess died on the day of aces coronation.
00:18:39
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean she was her personal bodyguard. So yeah, yeah makes sense Then they go to literally basically moss. I see the most rich wretched hive of scum and villainy on this side of the galaxy On their planet. They just basically know nicely they're gonna bar the bar the bar robots pretty cool. I
00:18:59
Speaker
Same thing that happens in Star Wars, some alien picks a fight with her and Arya. Yeah, but the way he picks a fight is disgusting to me. Sorry. Yeah, it's stupid. Oh, he tries to buy... He tries to buy... Gunner. Gunner as a slave for things. He thinks that Korra is the owner of Gunner, which is weird. So slavery's a thing. That's how we learn about it.
00:19:26
Speaker
Yep. And then they get into a fight. And there was a blonde dude that was like eyeing them. There's also a parasite life form that's really cool. Yeah, the parasite was cool.
00:19:39
Speaker
They get into a fight, they shoot everybody, and then the blonde dude saves Cora's life by shooting the guy behind her as he got up. She thought he was done. He did, he was not, and then shoots him. And he's like, hey, it's Charlie Hunnam. What's up, bruh? And he's a pilot. He has a ship. He's a smuggler. He's another pilot this time, just not a robot, and so is the ship. Yeah, and it's Han Solo.
00:20:07
Speaker
But not Pacific Rim. Yeah, I know. It's just... Yeah. Charlie Haddam. I like him. He's a good actor. I wasn't vibing with his accent. He was completely wasted in this film, anyway. Oh, no. Everybody was wasted in this film except for literally Cora and Noble.
Analyzing Plot Holes and Pacing Issues
00:20:24
Speaker
No. Everyone was wasted in this film except for Noble and Gunner. Literally. Yeah. Am I the only one I didn't vibe with?
00:20:37
Speaker
with Kai's accent. He spoke with one inflection. It was just always.
00:20:46
Speaker
Oh, yeah. No, it was like it's always like a sentence. It didn't sound like the end of the sentence. That's that's right. Yes. Because it was like a like a Scottish or like a northern English accent. Yeah. Yeah. But like way overemphasized. It was not my vibe. And the thing is, he is, I think, Scottish or Irish. Charlie Hunnam. So British.
00:21:14
Speaker
I felt like he was overdoing it. I think someone put him up in that one. Yeah, he's bad direction. Zack Snyder. I think I'm not I'm not sure if he's from England area. Maybe he's British. British. Okay. specific room interviews. And as they get on a ship and for some reason they land on a planet where they are trying to pick up this Tarzan looking dude.
00:21:39
Speaker
who uh is like working his debts off or his crime off as a blacksmith and then they tell him to like tame this griffin looking thing and i'm like why didn't they just like do this before no you forget but they they were like you forget they were just like hey can you uh
00:22:02
Speaker
if let's make a bet if he doesn't tame it then you're all slaves and you're like yeah sure whatever like also he's like he's native coded he's like long hair yeah the right skin tone yeah but they make the native guy the guy who can talk to animals Tima Griffin yeah there's there's the Griffin taming scene which is kind of
00:22:30
Speaker
It's it's also the scene that the Hippogriff taming scene from Harry Potter. It's avatar. It's every like Dangerous Creek. It's like a horse girl movie as well. Just kind of spring
00:22:45
Speaker
Don't forget the fact that he's going in slow-mo when he's running and to jump on the hippogriff or whatever it's called one more time. But then as he jumps, it slows down again.
Narrative Cohesion and Character Development Critique
00:22:56
Speaker
So it's double slow-mo. Yeah. Fuck this movie. 300.
00:23:03
Speaker
Yeah, so he does he does the griffin taming scene he jumps on the griffin whatever they go back down griffin kills the bad guy dude because they They think he works like a horse. Apparently it doesn't work like a horse Um, who would have thought a creature with bacon claws would not behave like a horse
00:23:20
Speaker
Mm-hmm and feathers and then they get back on the ship and then they go to a different planet where they meet this uh Jedi lady or do they pick up Titus first? They get nemesis first. Yeah, I don't think it matters. But yeah whose whole thing is honor You mind she's played by an Asian lady. She's the only Asian the film and this is this is the one that literally looks more this one looks like an Inquisitor from 40k and
00:23:49
Speaker
She looks literally like an Inquisitor. She also looks like an Inquisitor from fucking... Kingdom? Jedi Survivor. Oh. Oh. Oh, yeah, she does look like a... Her hat gave me Kingdom vibes. What the hell? I don't know how they found out about Nemesis or anything. Kai's... What? Kai brought them to... Kai's the Tarzan.
00:24:17
Speaker
That's Turok. That's Kai. That's Kai. That's Turok. I can't stop making fun of this movie.
00:24:36
Speaker
So they go to this planet to find Nemesis, Inquisitor-looking lady. She's like on her stuff, whatever. She finds a really cool spider lady that had some sprinkles of very good, like, base and then wasted. So I literally lost her hatchlings. She seems to be a native of the planet that's now very cyberpunk, Blade Runner looking shit. Yeah.
00:25:04
Speaker
And Nemesis kills her after she had stolen a baby because she lost her babies. Well, it wasn't a baby. It was like a child, but yeah. Yeah.
00:25:16
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But still, like, you know, she's grieving for her babies and steals a baby. They had some good things there, but they wasted it like everything else in this movie. So they pick up Nemesis and then they go to basically if you guys have ever heard of the show Spartacus, they just go to Spartacus the planet. And they pick up Titus, who was a character in the show Spartacus, where he was a gladiator. And what is he in this movie? A gladiator.
00:25:47
Speaker
And what facial hairstyle does he choose to go with after they pick him up when he's scruffy? His Spartacus facial hairstyle. And when he was scruffy, they gave him the same kind of style of Viking beard that Sindri had before he got pulled to death. And then he looks like he was in Spartacus. He hasn't aged in 15, 20 years. So whatever. I wish I could do that.
00:26:18
Speaker
So there we go, Titus, and then they're like, uh, there's this planet. I forget the name blood access is there. Let's go meet them up, beat them up, or just try to get them there. They go to this planet. Oh, during all this time, Noble has also picked up that blood access on that planet are probably going to go to that planet. The other planet, our crew goes to the planet first blood access show up the total blood access blood access
00:26:44
Speaker
are led by the twins or brother-sister combo. Brother chooses to join with our crew along with a couple other rebel blood axes. I think they're all called blood axes. I don't know. Yeah. And then when they get on the ship, Kai's like, the Charlie Hundham's like, hey, I got to drop off some smuggled shit. Don't open the boxes.
00:27:11
Speaker
So they go to this like trading out posts, hidden smuggling post and Kai's like, yeah, I got you got here. Just, you know, take box each drop over here. And then the boxes open up and they're like these little like creature or person holding devices that we saw earlier with Noble. Doesn't matter. Uh, uh, kind of like scorpions and then they, uh, they paralyze you and yeah.
00:27:38
Speaker
Did they grab you? And then, yeah, so Kai double-crossed them, was gonna sell them, cause Nemesis, high bounty. Turok is a prince, high bounty. Korra, deserter, high bounty. Titus, very good also, high bounty. Gunner, nothing. Gunner's nobody.
00:28:11
Speaker
And because gunners are nobody, Kai's like, all right, you gotta put this little, it's basically like a cattle gun that goes in the back of their little thing that catches them and it like paralyzes them. And then eventually can kill them. Yes. Also, this gun thing is also the key to unlock it. Yeah.
00:28:35
Speaker
So yeah, he double-cross them, Noble shows up. Gunner, our Kai tries to get Gunner to kill them, he just releases them all basically. Bloodaxe dude does one of the stupidest things I've ever seen in my life and then he dies.
Climax, Conclusion, and Future of Rebel Moon
00:28:50
Speaker
I don't know why he didn't have to jump up there. That's all I'm saying. Well, no, here's the series of events. He sees this, uh, like little side thing on the King's gaze, the ship that's got little guns attached to it. It kind of looks like a male angler fish, right? So he, he makes the sensible decision of run off the platform, jump for a really long time, stab into it and hope he kills the gunner inside.
00:29:15
Speaker
he does and apparently let me finish let me finish okay he jumps he stabs the gunner apparently the gunner was also driving the whole fucking ship because after that the ship crashes yeah i will call that you're like hold up hold up the gunner is actually a
00:29:34
Speaker
cool dude because he goes up there and stabs into it and the gunner dodges the initial stab he dodges the initial stab and then shoots him yeah he was also driving the ship it's like it's like a little like i'd say it's a little like a dropship kind of looking thing
00:29:50
Speaker
It's the whole thing though. It's the entire No, it's it's it's it is not to the frigates. It is not it is the entire It's attached to the frigate. They'd let us said wow, we took down the frigate you guys. That's a big loss for them Yeah, the end of the movie. Yeah, that's the nobles like
00:30:07
Speaker
gigantic. Once that part of the ship is shot, once that gunner is gone, that's when the ship crashes down. No, no, that wasn't. No, hold up. The frigate that the noble has that has a name is enormous. Yes, it was nowhere near that big. It was attached to the ship. They flat out mentioned at the end. Wow, I can't believe we took down the king's hand.
00:30:39
Speaker
Which is the frigates. I watched it two nights ago. Oh, Lord. I thought I thought it was a drop ship. No, whatever. Gays. No, this movie is fucking stupid. Oh, my Lord. So they take it down and then Cora and Noel have at it this fight. Cora kind of kills the noble, but not really.
00:31:06
Speaker
What does she do with him? Does she kick him off the thing? She kicks him off the thing. She beats him with his femur stick. Which is also secretly the lightsaber. In one scene only. Only in the one scene. It's a one use magic item. Because as soon as he goes to fight her, he's only using the femur. It's like they ran out of VFX money or they were like, wait, we can't do a lightsaber. Don't know. But we forgot to cut that thing out. They break the stabs in these stabs. She stabs him with it. And they kick him off the booty.
00:31:36
Speaker
Woo, victory. Yeah. And then they fly back to their little Viking planet because that was the whole point to get forces there to defend them once the King's gaze scared. But I guess the King's gaze is done for. We see a robot with antler horns.
00:31:52
Speaker
And don't forget noble we cut to the noble who goes it literally to back the tank Gets healed and shocked several times and then he goes talks to Belisarius call through an astral plane through yeah through like it's like a brain of course um and
00:32:13
Speaker
Through the astral plane they're psykers. I don't know and I don't remember what I said I don't know what what police are said to him, but like get my daughter back or something. I don't know Something like that movie ends. It's horrible Yeah
00:32:31
Speaker
I am ready to rage. Episode Zor is I. It's up to you. Episode Zor says, I have talked enough. Here's the order that's going to be Hector, Ruthie, then Hector again. Then me twice, then Ruthie four times, and then it ends. Perfect. Hector, Ruthie, me. That's the. OK.
00:32:59
Speaker
Things I discovered when looking up info about the movie. Everyone knows about the Snyder Cut that's going to be coming out sometime soon. He says it gets real weird in the extended edition. It's an hour long. I don't know how much you can fucking cram in an hour. It's also a month. God damn it, you beat me up. Is it two hours?
00:33:17
Speaker
No, it's one hour added. One additional hour, and it's already... Oh, you're two hour movie. Okay. Yes. Three hours. There's a lot of sex. So do you remember that after she ends up she did have sex? Because there's also a book that's out, and it's based off of the extended edition. Well, the extended edition is based on the book. So, Rubblemoon is... Rubblemoon is a book. Yes, there's a Rubblemoon book that came out recently, and it's actually based off of the... It's basically some guy transcribing the extended edition.
00:33:45
Speaker
Wait, is the, did the book come first or did the movie come first? Well, it's the same thing. It's around the same time, but the movie, the extended edition is not out yet, but you can read it already in book form. Yeah. They're going to release this, the Snyder cut on Netflix later. Yes. Which is a hundred percent. I have thoughts on that. So maybe feelings rated R also. Yes. So there's a lot of more sex scenes. So like here's some other stuff. Huh? What? Tiddies? Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Robot Tiddies. Jimmy, come on, go play.
00:34:15
Speaker
So, it seems that the soldier who was good and protected Jimmy the Robot and what's her name, Rose? Sam. Sam had more backstory? Like, according to what I read from a screenwriter article, he's nobility, and there's plans for him to be in the sequel. He's in the book, in the extended version, he's actually Noble's son.
00:34:33
Speaker
He's not noble he's Atticus noble son you and I keep arguing about this in the reddit thread you sent me It said he's Atticus noble son. He had the same situation as Cora where Noble picked him up off a gen a genocided planet and raised him as his own the the kid soldier Yeah, the one who's got a crush on Sam the one who helped Cora. Yeah, that's I totally
00:34:59
Speaker
Yeah, literally, when I was watching it with my friends, with other friends, we literally all said, all right, Korra and Gunnar out. Kid Soldier's gonna go and follow them. Doesn't happen. So he has plans to make three more sequels, and I am not fucking sure if part two was one of them. It's a trilogy.
00:35:23
Speaker
Confer it's a trilogy. Well, let me get the drink. So it's a trilogy some comics a Podcast and I remember when they announced their first trailer was shown in a Jeff Keeley game event during the summer The summer of games event. He said he plans to also make it a video game.
Creative Decisions and Comparisons
00:35:38
Speaker
So knock it off Zach Knock it off
00:35:44
Speaker
Who knows? It could, it could become a franchise if, you know, he's trying. He's force feeding it to become a franchise. His Snyder cut fan, his Snyder cut fans are gonna... Yeah, but that's like, that's like what every studio is doing now. It's like trying to make a franchise. Yeah. They're like trying. Yeah, they're forcing it. Mm-hmm. No AP. I'm all for it, but like... It's not Snyder. My, my honest thoughts, the Wachowskis could do this better than Snyder could.
00:36:13
Speaker
the matrix sister yes yes give them the keys to rebel moon they will make it so much better i mean they they they did pretty good with jupiter's exactly that's all that was my base thank you that was my basis for it
00:36:29
Speaker
I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Zero gravity make out orgy. Let's go. Better than the fucking hentai scene we got. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Apparently, I also read the extended version that that is a lot more graphic. It's also he's also noble is a bottom according.
00:36:53
Speaker
Yes, the squid alien thing is on top of him. Anyhoo. Anyhoo. Okay, light. This is my light, my first like. And I feel weird saying it now after what we just talked about. The alien designs are cool. Especially the alien who could possess others.
00:37:19
Speaker
in the in the bar scene yeah i was hoping that it was so much detail like that's gonna be there longer right no that's a waste of money so i was just like why can't he just like control kai and then like him and kai have a symbiotic relationship what do we cool what have been cool it would have been good if like kai had been like injured in the fight and the alien was keeping him alive yeah uh jimmy and uh rose you said sam sam i don't like you thinking rose because you have flowers yeah
00:37:46
Speaker
Storyline was so good. I'm like I like I told her they like I love this shit like the tope the trope of like a cold metal Person feeling love and warmth for the first time or again. I Know it's a thousand percent know it's because of the iron giant, but just inject that shit into my veins, dude It is such a good trope. I bet he imprinted the Visions that they have into Sam. Yeah Mm-hmm
00:38:17
Speaker
the little bits of western we got and the saloon was kind of cool and the set was kind of cool like this whole set was cool that whole bit was cool i wish we got more of that production was sounds good yes yeah yeah dislikes
00:38:31
Speaker
Jesus Christ is a lot. I feel you. Why is there sexual assault in what's supposed to be a fucking Star Wars film? Not once, but twice. Like, I'll give Snyder this. Equal opportunity. Equal opportunity. Both, you know? But at the same time, you know what's missing with our not Luke, Leia, and Han?
00:38:55
Speaker
Just nasty stuff. Just, god. I mean, I'd rather have the incest actually be a thing in this one. Don't tempt him. Don't tempt him. Dude, yeah. You know, in my Star Wars ripoffs, there's two sexual assault scenes. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.
00:39:18
Speaker
Alright. My other dislikes. The powers make no sense to me. I get miracles like the daughter. But there's...
00:39:27
Speaker
An astral plane? How? How does this dude who had no mention of having powers previously have an astral plane? Did he just get powers to become the king of the empire? Explain. No? Fuck you. Also, Turok can just speak to animals and he's like a human. Okay, no, so that was actually explained in the book. Turok and the animals are from the same- We're not in the movie, it's still a fault in the movie. No, it's hinted in the- you can see his necklace, barely, but it's the same animal. They're both from the same planet.
00:39:56
Speaker
It's fucking stupid to say you cut that out. It would be, there's better ways to communicate. Exactly. No, you see that, this movie doesn't even, it's all tell, don't show, and what little you tell or show isn't enough. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the movie starts off with an exposition dump. Yeah. No, it starts off with a portal opening that looked like the vagina, and then the ship goes through. Yes, and then the vagina ship goes, the ship goes through the vagina. The king's gaze goes through the vagina.
00:40:26
Speaker
Yes. It's fucking ridiculous. Okay, the tech makes no sense to me. The tech makes no sense to me also in the second note, right? Like ships and robots, sure. But a magical back-to-tank that can bring you back from extreme death and also send you to an astral plane. Also, like, I guess some people can plug into machines? Why isn't that more of a thing? If you can plug into machines, just lean into that.
00:40:52
Speaker
Why does Noble have a laser sword for one scene and then use the scabbard femur thing for the rest of the film? Is he stupid? I literally don't remember it being a lightsaber at any point. He brings it out to kill Fenrir's wife. Astrid. Astrid's wife. Is her name Maroula the Astrid? Yeah. Like, hiccup and Astrid? Yeah. I know, it's me being silly in that one. But anyway, yeah. Why do we get the main character's backstory through exposition?
00:41:23
Speaker
Like, Nemesis was fine because with her intro scene, it already accepts the idea of what happened in your head, of what's her past. What do you mean the guy writing not toothless is a prince? This isn't in the actual movie! It's in the fucking book! Speaking of the fucking prince, fucking slow-mo and running catch toothless and then when you jump, you go to super slow-mo! Snyder, stop!
00:41:54
Speaker
Yeah, this isn't the early 2000s anymore. No, I don't think he even did it like that. I haven't seen 300, but I don't think he did. I never heard about double slo-mo. There's a double slo-mo. There's a bunch of double slo-mo on 300. Seriously, if you cut out the slo-mo, I like Snyder's slo-mo when he does it well, but at the same time, like, you can cut a good 30 minutes of this film's runtime just by making it normal speed. 30? I think 30 is pretty... 30 was the safe guess.
00:42:22
Speaker
I was gonna say 45. So the only fight the band, the hero band gets to between the saloon and the final fight is the spider lady. But not everyone fights in that. They don't get a bit of teamwork. All the people that fight are Gunner and Nemesis against the spider lady. And Gunner doesn't even fight. He saves the kid. Again, that's fine. But that's only two. What?
00:42:46
Speaker
Why did you include a column seum if you aren't planning to use it? There's world building that's just fun and then there's world building that you spend a lot of money and time and energy to for fucking no reason! It makes no goddamn sense!
00:43:04
Speaker
Agreed. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm getting so emotional about this movie. Maybe it's because I like Zack Snyder at times. I've heard he's a very good person to work with. He's a good dude. I get that. But at the same fucking time, like just- He did Dawn of the Dead. I had such high hopes for this film. It looked interesting. Yeah. God. Huh? It did. This guy did Dawn of the Dead, the 2004 one or whatever. Fun fact, that was written by James Gunn.
00:43:33
Speaker
whole fuck it was one of the writers I think I heard I'm verified it but I heard from someone James Gunn was one of the writers and never I don't know I like I liked 300 300 is a lot of fun to watch it's not like the actual story from Herodotus
00:43:50
Speaker
That's only like a paragraph long, but it's a vibe. It's a lot of fun to watch. And Snyder does best when he's adapting stuff well. The whole story is just like, you know, it's set in in the first 15 minutes and then you just have like, you know, the 300 wall. Yeah, because I think that's how the comic went. It was based off of Warren's and about a thousand other soldiers. Yeah.
00:44:12
Speaker
Yeah, it's based off a comic. Again, if he based it off a specific comic, he does better. Like Watchmen, he has that one nearly frame for frame. Was Sucker Punch original? Fully original. Okay. But I like Sucker Punch, not a lot of people do. Good, so good. But wait, he did Watchmen also, that's right. He also adapted that one nearly frame for frame.
Strengths, Weaknesses, and Improvement Suggestions
00:44:33
Speaker
Oh, wow. You think I would, I would, something my master trope, my master trope with
00:44:41
Speaker
I already released it 15 minutes ago, yes. You think I would reveal my massive stroke without making sure there was no way you could possibly stop it? It already happened 34 minutes ago. It's Alan Moore, though. Alan Moore is a good writer. I know, the comics. But honestly, I think... Alan Moore also did 300, didn't he? Nope, that's a different writer. I think the movie... He did it in friendetta. Does it very well, does Watchmen very well. Removes a lot of the silliness, which I like.
00:45:10
Speaker
I like the silliness. Who the fuck is Steve Jobs? There's a meme about like, do you hear Steve Jobs died a ligma? Who's Steve Jobs? And then and then the fucking dude blasts him away. It's a legendary meme. Anyway, my last dislike, why is the only gay person
00:45:34
Speaker
Two. There's two gay people. There's like two queer coded people. It's the dog guy in the bar that tries to rape Gunner. And then there's Noble, who's the bottom in the relationship with the tentacle monster. Oh, there's also like the other chill people at the bar who are queer coded. And that's fine. Yeah, but they're background characters. They're background characters. But yeah, like... Does the parasite count as a queer code?
00:45:58
Speaker
uh what's the fact that uh noble is like a bottom or being pegged it's kind of like a it's and also he's a villain because the parasite is attached to a male person yeah no i got it i thought you were talking about the the tentacle monster no no the the parasite in the bar does that count as pretty good uh if it does then spider-man's very homoerotic in the symbiote arcs uh
00:46:26
Speaker
I mean, I've heard about the black skin tight suit. Kind of gimpy. Man, Spider-Man 2, they were really right when they made that joke when the collector's edition involved 19 inches of venom.
00:46:43
Speaker
For those who don't get it, there's a collector's edition of a statue of Venom. And they literally called it 19 inches of Venom. The jokes write themselves, lovely audience. People have had fun with that one for a while. Anyway, I have two big fixes. So I have two fixes. I'm fixing the story as is. And then I'm going to do like a complete rewrite bit.
00:47:09
Speaker
All right, so I'm gonna start with my main fixes. Like just general fixes for both sides, for any bit, right? So, give Korra a one-shot hand cannon. The big fuck-off pistol's a hand cannon. One shot, it takes time to reload. She also uses the sword, because she had a sword in the thing, and her pass, and she never brought it with her.
00:47:34
Speaker
some people get cybernetics to plug their brains into ships and turrets that way it makes sense when the ship goes down because the guy's brain overloaded the fucking machinery when he died and it just fucked up yes give farmer boy what's his name gunner gunner
00:47:52
Speaker
get the gun out of the six shooter cowboy look, you know, the pistol, the hat, and the boots. Honestly, that fits more than a fucking suit and tie like fucking, uh, Noble wears. He's the only person in the entire movie who wears a suit and tie. Like a 50s era, well, like a, like a 50s, 40s era suit and tie, along with the Nazi gear.
00:48:14
Speaker
Yeah, but again, suit and tie just does not, not in the space that someone was talking, I read this on Reddit and I wish I remembered who, but someone was saying the reason Star Wars worked is because it was based off a certain time and a certain art style. Everything was. Oh, good. Okay. So my aesthetic is going to make a lot more sense.
00:48:35
Speaker
So, but this movie is borrowing from way too much and it's not being careful about, from what I saw, it's not being careful about doing, that's all I've heard. So my theory is not synergizing. They're not little elements that lead into each other. It's like going from MCR, from Black Parade to Dog Days of Summer, because they're supposed to be an interim album that was supposed to enter.
00:48:57
Speaker
get people used to the new noise and they scrapped it. So this is the equivalent of that. There is no anything to synergize the looks or the different locations. Okay, here's my real fixes for the actual movie. You can cut between only one blood axe in this movie. We don't have two. The sister thing was kind of
00:49:23
Speaker
I think she's gonna come back in this- I know she is, but it just felt kind of useless to me. So cut between only one blood axe. There's too many characters. One blood axe. You want to choose the long-lost sister? Say that first sequel. And Korra. Give us a reason to believe in his cause and his rebellion, because then at that point it's just like, you know, our cause, our rebellion. We're good people. We save so many people. We don't fucking see any of it. I don't care. He dies. I don't care.
00:49:49
Speaker
There's nothing to care about. We are just told to care. I don't like that. Make me care, Snyder. How long ago? How long was Bloodox wisdom before he died? About 15? Like two scenes. Yeah, two scenes. Yeah.
00:50:05
Speaker
Yeah, care about that guy. Change. Charlie. Change. Charlie. Ruth and I were talking about will be changed a little bit. We were we noticed we're getting close. So I want Charlie's character Kai to be a fancy nobleman who left his boring as shit life behind to go see this galaxy or universe. I don't know which one it is. Right. And he maybe he made a friend. He has the little dude. He's gonna be a dandy like our flag means death.
00:50:31
Speaker
Maybe? Is that kind of the vibe you're going for? Maybe. I know you were doing more of that, but yeah, I think he should. He just like, you know, has a little squid dude next to him who can communicate with others, can kind of like, help make like, like, you can't go through. Okay, hey bud. And then like, the guy's like, the little symbiote thing just lacks on the other dude, makes the dude open and then lets him go. It'd be, I don't know.
00:50:56
Speaker
It'd be funny. The Beast Hammer isn't removed from a stupid bet, so he secretly trained a few animals in the barn place that he works at to help him escape, and they just kill him. They kill the boss. It's like little critters that can stay with him for the rest of the movie while they go to other planets.
00:51:14
Speaker
And most of the biggest is like a wolf thing. I don't know if you really want to. But yeah, instead of nemesis. So here's my issue with nemesis. I have to go into detail about this. There is a big trope about that made sense with samurai movies, doesn't make sense with anything else where Americans are like, oh, there's an Asian character. They care about their honor. And like, look, I love I love Zuko as much as everyone.
00:51:39
Speaker
Even they stop touching on that stuff in the sequel show Korra, okay? Like as they realize, Shang-Chi, uh, what's his name? The main dude. Oh, uh, Simu Liu. Simu Liu. He said it was a big deal that they don't make honor a big thing in this movie. It's not mentioned once in Shang-Chi.
00:51:55
Speaker
Because it's a tired overused trope that just it's a stereotype. It's annoying. What do they do with her? She talks about honor. Right. So here's what I'm going to do. I didn't do it. I by the time I realized what I was doing, it was too late. Well, say what you were originally meeting and then come up. So my original thing was you ever seen a John Woo like gun play film?
00:52:16
Speaker
Well, they're like going through stuff like you're going under like they're jumping around with like guns akimbo And like going under desks and shooting guns. It's badass. I haven't seen a John Woo movie. I've seen a few scenes, right? So what about she's a Sam? She's a cyborg, right?
00:52:34
Speaker
So like just give her thrusters on her robot arms and robot legs and she's just like super fast like Warframe like Warframe just going down shooting really fast and like doing little flips and stuff if maybe like Warframe? Warframes and examples? Space ninjas but not not space ninja but with guns because it's so because everyone's using guns and if you really want if you really want
00:52:58
Speaker
have like a little secret like uh from her wrist is like a little the red blade at the very end is a killer move she gives us a top secret move just in case but yeah it it'd be cool also Snyder remember Batman for Superman the really cool Batman scene where he kills all those people to rescue Martha Kent he can do the action scenes just just get him to try and you're thinking Hector what about Titus I'm not having Titus once again there's too many people
00:53:26
Speaker
They don't get to Titus in this movie, or they don't get to Titus at all, and you just combine Titus and Nemesis. Just combine their characters, where Nemesis is like, yeah, I just kind of became like a wanderer around the galaxy after losing my squad. And family. You're cutting Titus? I'm cutting two characters off my fix. But there's so many characters.
00:53:53
Speaker
Also, do you find it stupid that this big higher up admiral goes to a rinky dink planet for literal grain? The first loss in a war is your loss of your supply chain.
00:54:10
Speaker
You can have subordinates go and handle this shit. Or here's a better thing. He's a subordinate, and then he gets a call like, oh hey, my boss died and I'm the promoter. You fuckers are in charge of this now, I don't care. I'm gonna go do some real big shit. Right? Just leaves the idiots to figure out on their own. So here's the big, big fix.
00:54:39
Speaker
Here's the big fix for the complete rewrite. All right. Start the movie with Cora. It's her growing up being forced to join the Imperial Navy. She has a romance with a cadet. She has to deal with losing her family and planet, and now being extremely elite school with an extremely elite father. So her lover is like, no, I want to take over your dad's spot, even if it means death, right? And like, I'm going to find more about your dad. I'm going to study him, dig deep, and excel.
00:55:08
Speaker
Is he doing it because he cares about her or because he's ambitious AF? He's ambitious AF. So she starts to resent her dad for killing her family and because of her love, you know, her lover, but at the same time, it's like, I he's also like he saved me. And I've been brainwashed. This isn't the first like half of the movie, right?
00:55:28
Speaker
And then finally, the lover is getting more disheveled in his vision and he finds something out about the Admiral General being a madman, but because he's not, he's so crazy, he's just, no one believes him, he gets kicked out. Years later, he's leading a rebellion on a moon that the Empire really needs. It's a rubble moon. And then you can even have Korra say, what are we, some kind of rubble moon?
00:55:48
Speaker
No, I have a light also. So it all boils down to, you know, again, the lover of rebellion. By this point, the princess is with Isa is brought along with the king to start during this war. This is a many years war. And like, you know, she heals the soldier, you know, the king makes the princess, he's a heal soldiers as a miracle. We start to get really close to the family. We start to kind of see them like we almost get brainwashed ourselves.
00:56:17
Speaker
You know, we see them in their daily lives. It becomes more of a political kind of thing. Finally, it's the final battle. They have the lover pinned. Korra fights him and she kills him really elegantly. Maybe she, like Ed did in the recent D&D campaign, recent D&D session. He kills the evil love interests and then kisses him as he dies.
00:56:38
Speaker
Yeah. And then during the celebration, the father betrays everyone. She has to run away. That's the end of the movie. And that sets us up for Rebel Moon part two. You've set up the rules. You've set up a lot of the enemies. You set up a lot of like the motivation. Yeah. And now you can just go steamroll the plot.
00:56:58
Speaker
That's it. All right. Yes. Ruthie. All right. Did you turn? Are you excited? I'm actually really excited for my fixes. The movie was ass. Yeah. I'm excited for my fixes for the first time in a long time. Yeah. I feel like us taking a little bit of a break helped my mojo. I actually took good notes again. It's been a hot minute. All right. Uh, my like, I always liked someone.
00:57:27
Speaker
Taking a stab at original sci-fi. I have to say that I I do like when original movies happen Adaptations are great. I'm not gonna like shit on them because they do bring about good movies. However You're right Yuri on Ice is an original and that one was pretty good. Just saying Princess Tutu. Come on All right
00:57:53
Speaker
The CGI was pretty decent. I mean, like it didn't get like some of the other Netflix treatments where it was kind of felt cheap. There was that like, somebody cared about the CGI team. I can tell, I can tell. They got naps, they got breaks. Yeah, you know what they got? Probably time. Yeah. That's usually what all that they need. Yeah. I liked most of the world building, what little world building we got. It was very fun.
00:58:23
Speaker
Um, but we didn't get all, all sorts of explanations that I wanted, but the explanations we did get, I was fine with. Uh, Jimmy? Cool. Sam? I like her. Soldier? Good feelings about him. Barely saw him. Oh, sorry, I'm not in my dislikes yet.
Genre Influences and Thematic Exploration
00:58:43
Speaker
Um.
00:58:44
Speaker
The main three, Korra, Gunnar Kai, them being like the main three in Star Wars, but just a little bit different. That was interesting to me. And Han Solo being a traitor, that was also like an interesting concept. Now to my dislikes. Korra is a nothing burger character. Like she's not even cardboard. She has two emotions. It's either emotionless or sad.
00:59:14
Speaker
She's happy when the bird flies over. Does she pass the lampshade test? She passes the lampshade test? Barely. But I feel like if you played, if you subbed her out for a dude? Same thing. It would be the same thing. She's just not a character. I mean, isn't that good sometimes? No. No, I'm saying she would be just as flat as if an 80s Arnold Schwarzenegger was playing her.
00:59:43
Speaker
Oh, I see you mean it was just that there was enough. There's not enough meat there. Okay, this is gonna be a really shitty stew, you know Gunner is an idiot. In fact, everyone in this movie is either an idiot or an asshole Like it's both uh
01:00:05
Speaker
It's both malice and idi- Like, what's the thing? Like, don't attribute to malice, but what can be easily- Attributed to stupidity. Yeah, both of those are true at the same time. It's 50-50 on if the person's an asshole or an idiot.
01:00:20
Speaker
Uh, Den and Gunner, the two people that Korra is supposed to have a love triangle with, they look the exact same. The only difference between these two men, yes, this bothers me a lot, the more that I think about it. It's not that one's blonde and one's a brunette. Nay nay! One is vaguely clean shaven and one has a beard. That's it. There's also Kai. He's also, like, in the love triangle, I guess? Not really? What?
01:00:49
Speaker
There's no love and looking stuff there. Kai was just a little bit. He flirts at Cora. Yeah. Wait, wait, you said it's Cora.
01:01:01
Speaker
gunner and then in the village it's den everyone's like oh you should sleep with den for the fertility thing and then i was like you you slept with den of course like i didn't know so supposedly she did according to the book yeah which like are the book slash who gives a fuck it seems like this is a pretty sex positive society why lie i don't get it i don't know
01:01:23
Speaker
But I'm just going, I'm not gonna base it off the extended edition. I'm not gonna base it on the book. That basically is the extended edition. This is what I saw was what I get. That's how I go. There's a lot of world building that was left on the table and it feels like at the expense of getting all these quote unquote really cool slow-mo shots.
01:01:51
Speaker
Like I made the joke that like 45 minutes of this movie was dedicated to the slow-mo.
01:01:57
Speaker
Even if I am over exaggerating, I don't think I am. Uh, it seemed like a lot more emphasis was on the slo-mo than like some of the actual more interesting parts of the movie to me. You just gave me, you shouldn't have mentioned the slo-mo after the sex bits. Cause I'm starting to wonder. No, don't speak it into existence. You know, 300 had a slo-mo sex scene, right? It did. Yeah, it did. Okay.
01:02:27
Speaker
Um... Damn. None of the main heroes really felt like character- Honestly, nobody felt like characters!
01:02:34
Speaker
Even Korra, especially Korra. Each of these main Big Five plus Kai, they'll get one cool scene, and that's it. And in the final fight, some of them don't even get to use their special abilities, like Turok. And let's not forget the racist stereotypes of the...
01:02:57
Speaker
it wasn't noble savage but like the native who's in tune with nature and animals and the asian per Asian samurai obsessed with honor and probably revenge bro i just i just love that you said the main five plus kai because that's how it feels kai isn't a character
01:03:21
Speaker
Okay counterpoint though I felt noble was pretty well pretty character He felt the most character, but that's because out of the bad guys. He's the one he's like the bad guy Cora like he's supposed to be a foil for Cora, but Cora doesn't nearly get as much like emphasis, you know
01:03:45
Speaker
Yeah. I'm just like, Oh, that's just what I, what I thought was noble was the best of all of them character wise. Yeah.
01:03:58
Speaker
Anachronisms have a time and a place. Yes, I meant the pun. But the suit does not fit any of the vibes that are previously presented, including the Nazi rhetoric with the rest of their uniform. No one else wears the suit, even in the same scene that Noble is on the ship. No one else is wearing a suit. It doesn't make sense. And also the final fight kind of sucked.
01:04:25
Speaker
They just got the blood axes and then the blood axes all immediately get murked. We don't get to see their capabilities. It basically like renders that little victory that they had moot. And also one, yeah, one survives. She's going to be in the next one. It's really obvious, but like, I don't feel the weight of their sacrifice. It means nothing.
01:04:53
Speaker
And, like, Tarak doesn't... whatever the fuck his name is, I can't remember. The Beast Tamer guy didn't have a beast in the final fight, so what was his point? He was, from what I remember, he was barely... doing anything? I don't know. So here's how we fix it. And again, disclaimer, I don't care. There's a book. Fuck it. There's no book. Me. Here's what I've said. She's a book. I am a book.
01:05:22
Speaker
Audience, you can't see the video. You'll never know. Okay, before I really get into it, I'm just going to establish this now. I'm going to try and keep everything in a steampunk space cowboy aesthetic. I will try to not have too many anachronisms, but if they happen, they happen. But exactly the Nazi, the evil space Nazis, are they steampunk too? There's, there was fascism in the 1830s through the 1860s.
01:05:50
Speaker
No, I know, but are they going to change their costumes to be more, uh, uh, steampunk-y? Yes. Okay. I'm going to keep the, the, the only costume I would change is I would not have the suit, but I did like the kind of like Nazi aesthetic. So that is it. Context everyone. For the villains, I liked the Nazi aesthetic. But make it more steampunk.
01:06:20
Speaker
Whoever's editing this. Yeah. It's you, Ed. Damn it. I don't have a computer right now. I'll do it. Okay. Okay. So first off, let's answer this big plot hole that Hector mentioned. Why would the commander of that big ass ship stop by some itty bitty farm village and demand food? Here's why.
01:06:41
Speaker
We'll keep the narration as it is, but instead of some generic space stuff, we're going to see the King's gaze leaving Motherworld through the vagina portal and traveling through space as the monologue is going. As the monologue is finishing, the King's gaze is attacked by Bloodaxe's rebel armies.
01:07:02
Speaker
a la A New Hope. Now, while the ship isn't outright destroyed, because that ruins the purpose of the movie, what it did, what they did hit was their main supply cache of food. They're out, like, like, they've got like three months supply. However, there were a lot of casualties and the blood axes did have to retreat onto the planet belt.
01:07:31
Speaker
Now we cut to Korra, who is plowing the land the last few rows of the farming village. She's going to not sensually stroke the dirt like she did in the original version. There's not going to be slow-mo. In fact, we're going to get rid of half the slow-mo, and we're going to shorten half the slow-mo that's there so we can actually have more runtime.
01:07:56
Speaker
We'll get some cool weapon brandishing moments, and then right before a cool thing happens, we'll slow-mo that. I won't get rid of all of it. But Korra sees this dog fight up in space, and she kind of just shakes her head. She knows it's a fool's errand to stand against Motherworld. She sees the rebels retreat onto Veld. After Sindri gets murked, because now they have an excuse to come to the village,
01:08:26
Speaker
Noble leaves. The villagers just immediately kick out Gunnar. They don't care that he's the Harvest Master or not. He's the one who got them into this mess. They're fucking pissed. And I don't blame them. I was furious. Korra gives him some kind of walkie-talkie smoke signal, radio, whatever. Hand wave.
01:08:50
Speaker
In case that neither one of them comes into trouble, she says that they both know what she means is when you're about to get your ass handed to you, you can use this. A month goes by and the soldier guys, we're not going to have them evil and rapey at the first
01:09:10
Speaker
bit it's going to be like putting a frog in a pot of boiling water you don't put the frog in as the water is boiling because the frog is going to jump out you put the frog in warm water then you turn it up to boiling slow enough so the frog doesn't realize until it's too late oh like actual fascism yes
01:09:29
Speaker
And maybe Korra does leave town. She's not exactly running away, but she's keeping an eye on them from a distance and also trying to make sure that the soldiers don't recognize her for being a traitor, for being the one who orchestrated Isa's death. Oh, another thing, we're gonna get rid of all the magic bullshit, except for Isa.
01:09:54
Speaker
He says the rare miracle. Yes. Okay. Then the incident with Sam happens. I'll keep it the same because it was... Well, I'll keep it relatively the same. Instead of like sad Korra, it's this fiery rage that kind of just turns on and then as soon as it's there, she takes a breath and it just goes into a quiet rage. You see, I'm not gonna make Nemesis the samurai.
01:10:25
Speaker
I'm gonna be nerdy on me. Hold on, put a pin in this. Steampunk stems from the Victorian era starting in the year 1837. You know what else was happening around the world in 1837?
01:10:41
Speaker
In 67 years, from the 1830s to the 1870s, cowboys lived and died. An uprising in Japan removed the shogun from power, re-establishing the emperor, which means the samurais no longer had lords to follow. Samurais also were in Mexico. So there's a lot of cross country. I got it from the Tumblr post if you know what I'm talking about.
01:11:05
Speaker
It was the end of piracy in the Caribbean, so French pirates. And also, while the popularity of Spaniard-style d'Estréza, or fencing, was less of a thing, it hadn't fully died out at this point, so we can also have a Spanish fencer. All of this is to say, I am not being anachronistic when I have a pirate, a samurai, a cowboy, a fencer, and a gentleman all in the same crew.
01:11:34
Speaker
Korra was raised on Motherworld's warrior code written for their soldier class and not too quite different from the Bushido code. Nemesis, for those wondering, will be our fencer, though she's also pretty badass and I wanted to give her a sniper rifle too. Well, maybe just a rifle, because sniper rifles hadn't quite been invented yet. Again, trying for the anachronisms here. Turok will be our gentleman. More on this later.
01:11:58
Speaker
General Titus, after losing his battle, uh, got really pissy and he became a pirate. Fuck you. Wait, who did? Titus. He's a pirate and a gladiator, fuck you. And, of course, Gunner will be our cowboy. You just have him pillage, uh, mother- mother world ships. Yeah.
01:12:19
Speaker
There we go. So after this fight, Korra kind of realizes what she needs to do. She's actually the first one. She calls Gunnar and Gunnar's like, so we're gonna fight the guys, right? Oh, you already killed them. Okay, cool. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. She's going to need someone else with her on the journey.
01:12:38
Speaker
But really, again, this is a situation of if she leaves without Gunnar, Gunnar's not gonna have anybody within range who's going to be able to save his ass if he's in trouble, because he's kind of like a pacifist. So they go to Providence, and it's the same as before, except maybe Gunnar's looking for Kai specifically. He's kind of ingratiated himself with these bounty hunters and these, like,
01:13:05
Speaker
I don't know, he's kind of more shift. He's got shiftier contacts now. Like, he knows where the rebels are. He knows a lot more stuff. Again, cowboy.
01:13:15
Speaker
The main difference in this is that Kai does not immediately agree to help them get off planet. Motherworld, after that incident with the Blood Axis, has authorized the King's gaze and Atticus Noble to put a blockade around Velt and its moon, and there's no way in hell he's risking his life and his ship for these two bozos to go fuck off into space and blow him up. Oh, see how Phantom Menace going?
01:13:45
Speaker
Oh, I did, didn't I? Fun. Okay. I like Phantom Menace. He says he's open to changing his mind if they can prove to him they're not just two bozos going to space. So Gunnar has an idea. Like I said, he's kind of got more shifty friends now. He's listened to these Bounder Hunter types, and he knows that there are a couple prize people on Velt who are enemies of Motherworld, and if they can work
01:14:13
Speaker
to free these bounty hunters. Maybe they can herb these bounties. Maybe Kai will be convinced. Wait, for like take, they become bounty hunters and get bounties on them? No, no, no, no. So the idea is Gunner knows bounty hunters. These bounty hunters tell Gunner about these enemies of Motherworld that are scattered about Veld. And if they can get enough, maybe they can convince Kai they're not two bozos, they're four bozos. And then they could get to Titus in the blood axis. Okay.
01:14:45
Speaker
This is how we're gonna find Turok and Nemesis. Also Turok and Nemesis are on Veldt and the Moon. Turok is on the opposite side of Providence, almost like the entire opposite side. He's still a blacksmith. What we will change is that he's got a bandana and we can't see his throat at first until he pulls it down. He's not a human, he's humanoid. He's got this like kind of frog throat sack.
01:15:11
Speaker
And maybe he looks a bit more like Abe Sapien from Hellboy. Hellboy. Thank you. I like that. I like that. Who am I to decide? Whatever floats your goat. Thank you for putting more aliens. I forgot to do that. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Now, why is he blacksmithing if he's going to be like a dandy frog man? Well, here.
01:15:30
Speaker
It's because his frog-like nature, he gets dehydrated really easily in hot environments, and he's right next to a hot-ass forge all day. That's cruel. Yeah! That's Jesus Christ. Yeah! He can't stay hydrated enough to escape, and in the first place, and then this side of the moon is more desert-y, so he's fucked. Now, his throat sack isn't just to make him more alien. You see, when he starts to use his sack to sing, Frog, he can use that song to communicate.
01:16:17
Speaker
When he uses his sax song, he can communicate with any creature sentient or not. So Gunnar knows that this guy who's slaving Tarak is a gambler.
01:16:29
Speaker
When he
Character Moments and Humor in Rebel Moon
01:16:32
Speaker
And because he's been here before, he decides to say, oh, why don't we gamble on if Tarak can do it? I couldn't think of anything better.
01:16:32
Speaker
does his song...
01:16:41
Speaker
Frog to rock wins instead of putting on the poncho. He dusts off his cravat He grabs his Jackie starts dressing up like this dandy And I'd keep it the same actor cuz it's funny Just make him in a frog costume. Yeah, just give him a little froggy or I imagine like literally Abe's apian but with a bit more frog. Yeah, I
01:17:04
Speaker
But it's still the same- Like the same eyes, the same- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like just keep it alien. Just keep it- But it would keep the same actor, because I do want him to get work. He seemed like a nice guy. He tells the pair he would be happy to help them kick Motherworld's ass, and he'd also love to pay them for their troubles, but Motherworld did take away his family and his fortune. He's still a prince. Nemesis is on Velt proper. You could also put her on like one of the little asteroids, because it is like a ring planet, and then you could put Titus on Velt.
01:17:35
Speaker
And again, I'm just throwing ideas out into the ether. Gunner gets the passage on a planet bound fairy and off they go. I won't change too much about her intro with sick AF. It gives enough of her context. Same abilities.
01:17:55
Speaker
Instead of them being full-on swords. She's got a laser rapier because again She's like a fencer and then she's got a bunch of little knives. She fights dirty So dirty no one give her like a laser whip No, cuz she's a Spanish fencer They used whips. I'm going for knives and guns not fair enough. I
01:18:17
Speaker
Um, yeah, I'll give her a rifle. So she's got something long distance. Also, I wanted like the Russian World War One sniper vibes, but also a fencer. Does she look the same? Yes, I would not change her costume. Okay. She was really pretty.
01:18:36
Speaker
Now, while they're on Veldt, I'm not gonna have the Blood Axes be off ship or off world, obviously. They landed here, they're still here. There's a blockade. They make an agreement with the Blood Axes to protect the village. I do it a little bit differently. I don't know how the actual conversation would go. I don't know, maybe Darien could come with, maybe not. It was inconsequential to the original version. I don't know how to include him here. I don't know what to do.
01:19:07
Speaker
They return to Providence to show off to the crew to Kai. Kai see, we see Kai's eyes as like their dollar sign for a minute there. And he happily agrees to help them get to the pirate formerly known as General Titus. And we do the same pickup as for Titus is the movie. It's fine. That was fine. So you're gonna have a Coliseum there and no fighting?
01:19:32
Speaker
Maybe he lost all his money. We expect him to be a gladiator, but he lost all the money from his recent spoils on gambling. Okay, I can dig that. Make the final fight better. Give the heroes more shit to do. To rock with his throat sack. Give him powers kind of like the voice, but a little bit weaker where for a moment he can basically cast command on the enemies and make them do things. I had a different idea for that voice. Silence.
01:20:02
Speaker
Cause I forgot about that. I'm like, Oh, well, like he can mimic other people. So if he's sneaky and behind, he can just make them think. I mean that too. Yeah. Just give him throat sack abilities. It's throat sack is brimming to burst with these.
01:20:19
Speaker
god damn it no i'm trying not to lose it please nemesis uh stabbing people in the ankles with her laser knives and then getting a good vantage point to pull out her laser laser rifle and shoot somebody in the face point blank you know koro's got a pistol in one hand and a blade in the other titus you did that took that yeah it's a good aesthetic yeah titus is an amazing tactician practically dancing around the battlefield and gunner is helping wherever he can
01:20:42
Speaker
Oh, more scenes in the village, especially with the soldier and Sam. It's very obvious that they're crushing on each other. Also, I want more Jimmy. There we go. Movie fix. All right. Nice. Okay. So my turn. Space Cowboys.
01:21:07
Speaker
As soon as we- I saw enough of the movie, I'm like, we're getting- Ed's gonna do Space Cowboys. I know it. Alright, to save some time. Duroc? Doesn't exist. No likes or dislikes? Uh, just- just- I'm getting- Oh, that's right. I'll get- Did we say all the likes and dislikes? I just went straight into my fixes. Anyways, likes and dislikes. So, like.
01:21:38
Speaker
Noble, kind of, a little bit. Not great. He's fun to hate. Yeah. I couldn't even feel anything other than that. I also like the productions and designs good, the places they went to is cool and all that. Like, there wasn't a lot that I liked. It was just like in general, just like kind of like
01:21:59
Speaker
There weren't specifics, really. It was just like, oh, this one's cool. This is fine. I really like Nemesis and the Spider scene for what it based. That foundation that it started, that's what I liked. How it happened was wasted. Yeah, I also like the most of the
01:22:24
Speaker
five that people like what they wear and such right okay so uh this likes the whole movie for the most part understandable yeah and honestly like i think i think it for me it just feels better if i just do the fixes okay like i don't know like i can't really i don't want to nitpick this dude dude no so i'm just gonna jump straight into my fixes so tarak doesn't exist
Character Arcs and Trilogy Structure
01:22:51
Speaker
At least not in this one. I'm also thinking that this I'm also basing my fixes on. I know this is a trilogy. So there are going to be some things that will be later. So truck doesn't exist. Nemesis. Does. But we'll get to that. And then we'll get to everything else. All right. But Turret does not exist in the sun. So basically the movie for me, how I would do it is would start off more or less the same.
01:23:21
Speaker
There's some obvious fixes that I would do with Korra's character where I would want her to be more of a... more bitter about how she was, like, you know, kicked out of it. And she... I wanted to have, like, conflicting feelings of, like, maybe I should go back to the Imperium kind of stuff. Because I feel that would be very, very interesting. Very interesting. I get that. I'd do dynamic there.
01:23:52
Speaker
But it starts off the same with Noble coming down, doing his whole thing, kid, eyeballs, googolays, girls, that's fine, robot, super cool, whatever. Take out the sexual assault scene though, something else, I don't know. But basically, you do learn that Korra's an adept fighter because of her time in the Imperium, and she kind of beats them up because they're being assholes.
01:24:18
Speaker
And then, uh, basically same thing. Dariana Harris goes with her. They need to get some help for the village. And I also want her to not to actually like have a little bit of like, I've been with this village for two years, like, and I've kind of beside my better judgment, I've kind of grown attached to these people. So like, even if like nothing brings of it, I still want to do my best and protect them. Maybe we'll just survive and just live our life here. Normally. I want her to have that kind of vibe a little bit also.
01:24:48
Speaker
I don't know. There's a lot you can do with Korra because there's nothing there. Yeah, she's a blank canvas. And I kind of I kind of liked Gunnar for the most part. Well, like his aesthetic, at least. I had no problem with it, really. So they would get to Mos Eisley, they would meet Kai.
01:25:18
Speaker
Right. And basically they get on the ship and they they start flying to I don't know. I think the first person to pick up that makes sense would be Titus.
01:25:35
Speaker
I think because she because because Cora already knows Titus because he was he was part of the Imperium also right yes yeah so I think it would make sense for Cora for them to go to Titus but wait there's there's a travel time here in this travel time you get to learn more about Kai and Kai rises up Cora and Kai and Gunnar also interact and you get a lot of Kai in this travel time a lot of like
01:26:06
Speaker
his motivations and all that he's still a smuggler he's you know like doing this just because i don't even know what his motivation was in the first place i don't know he's a bounty hunter oh yeah like oh yeah yes that's right he's a bounty hunter so like we get we get some weird like vibes from him but he's still pretty cool and open to help and he's like hey it's something new
01:26:31
Speaker
but first time I travel I'm dipping kind of things so you get that thing from Kai and I'm like okay well at least he's giving them transportation and maybe when they get Titus and to the blood access too they'll find their own ship and he can go on his merry way but they gotta be Titus I still want the gladiator stuff I'm sorry because I think that that
01:26:59
Speaker
Him going back to the gladiators, that was just way too funny. And yes, I do want them to get to the gladiator arena. And when they show up, Titus is down fighting. And we get a little bit of his fighting sin. We get a little bit of the gladiator stuff. And once it's over, that's when they go down. Girl cleaning him makes more sense. And then the Korra kind of coerces him to join in very
01:27:29
Speaker
questionable, like, imperial loyalist kind of terms kind of shit?
01:27:36
Speaker
What do you mean? Like she, she coerces him in a way that since he's also was Imperial, like she uses kind of like wordplay and stuff like that to make it seem like, or I don't know, like I just want it to be a little bit of like, Oh, is she still like loyal to the Imperium? Just like using his, using those words that she knows will coerce him just to get them on and then change kind of thing.
01:28:04
Speaker
Oh, she might be tricking him. Yeah, she might kind of tricking him. And then they will go to. From Titus, they'll learn about what the blood access that planet that they're supposed to be at.
01:28:20
Speaker
And during this travel time is when you find out more about Tidus and more about Korra's backstory. This is where Tidus, I guess, will give Kai and Gunnar more story on Korra. Well, Korra, because it makes sense, Korra wouldn't share what happened.
01:28:40
Speaker
And Titus gives the story of like, yeah, she was Imperial like me. She was a great personal bodyguard. She was raised from a child. She wasn't born into the Imperium, but he doesn't know how she got into the Imperium, basically.
01:28:58
Speaker
She was very high up, very good stuff. Personal bodyguard to the daughter who died. And he explains that like, yeah, she was basically exiled because she didn't do her job as a bodyguard.
01:29:14
Speaker
And we got Titus, we got more Kai and more characters interacting with each other. Like I want the travel time to be a major part of the movie of, you know, the crew getting together and getting to know each other, maybe a little bit of scuffles, such disagreements and whatever. But they are traveling to that planet. They get to that planet and
01:29:39
Speaker
They they meet the blood axes both the guy and the girl I said this plays out completely differently in the way that they try to tell the blood axes like come on we got our our people to help on this moon and such and Blood axes girls like our guy both of them are like what like We this is a war we need an army we don't need just like a ragtag crew from a rebel moon and
01:30:09
Speaker
from some kind of rebel moon. No, you guys gotta do like, we can't spare resources when we are also recovering from fights and such. And like,
01:30:25
Speaker
like this is war people we lose you lose you lose battles you win some people die like I'm sorry and they're like well fuck what do we do now the only thing that they can do well no that this is what happens actually my bed they're like fuck what do we do now and Kai's like well
01:30:46
Speaker
I got some stuff that I can, that I still need to sell. So let's go to that trading post and sell the stuff and travel time more, make Kai kind of like, you know, make Kai say something like, you know, after spending some time with you guys, I think I've had some change of heart. We could, we could sell these stuff, maybe hire some mercenaries and go back to your town with time to spare and train them to fight back.
01:31:12
Speaker
right and that happens and then they go and they land on the thing and Kai still double crosses them and still gets them in that little pincer things uh but hmm
01:31:30
Speaker
I haven't really thought, like, I don't want them to be the same. Nothing changes with the fight, genuinely. It would be fine. Nothing really changes with the fight. Well, I want them to get out. Well, actually, no. How they get out is fine, I guess, with Gunner. But you'd have to put a little bit of like, oh, maybe Kai, while coursing and to paralyzing, you know, like, the words she uses tight is like, who knows? She might still be loyal to the Imperium, just tricking us all kind of stuff.
01:31:58
Speaker
I don't know, something like that. And then they get out same kind of way. We'll say since since Kai rizzed Korra and them double-crossed them, Korra kills Kai. And there's no blood X here, by the way. Yeah, it's literally just now three of them fighting like the it's a drop ship
01:32:23
Speaker
Not the whole thing. It makes more sense for a gunner nemesis nemesis. You didn't manage a nemesis yet. Yeah. I'm not going to mention nemesis nemesis is the thing. Uh, also throughout all of this, I guess you could include a little soldier boy.
01:32:47
Speaker
Yeah, I did like you could you could if you if you wanted to but it's not required because he could still he could they could like I'll say I'll say why later but like basically the fight kind of goes down more or less the same um also uh but at this point it is not revealed that Korra is like the adopted daughter of the uh velociraptist velociraptist yeah
01:33:14
Speaker
So kind of plays out the same, although, um, I will say like after, after like the double cross, like some people from the inside the training post are like, that's Imperial shit. We need them out of here now. And they get kind of help from, from the other mercenaries, bounty hunters there. And with that help is the how they bring down the little dropship.
01:33:45
Speaker
And then fight goes off the same with Cora and him except, you know better the choreographed and yes Is this dropship is its name the the Queen's lesbians Wait, why the Queen's whatever I don't care The King's hand King's gaze King's gaze Oh God
01:34:16
Speaker
That's good, that's really fucking good. Sure, whatever, something like that. Something more, you know, subtle, but still. Throw tech. Yeah, throw tech. Cause frog. Sorry. Yeah, and yeah, I don't know. I don't know how I would fix the fight a little bit. Maybe like a little bit of teamwork going on there. And then like, well, and then the, the, the,
01:34:46
Speaker
I guess they like Cora could have some like inspirational also borderline Nazi speech about to the other mercenaries there and maybe they could come in and help and such you could come on the crew like as just you know extras
01:35:03
Speaker
or not. It doesn't really matter. Anyways, they get back on the ship and they sell what they can. So they do have some money. Maybe they hire a mercenary, like a new character. Let's add a mercenary in there, whatever.
01:35:17
Speaker
Or you could just hire Turok. You could just bring him back in. Oh yeah, they could hire Turok. Yeah, maybe he was at the training post for some fucking reason. Yeah, they hire Marzuri, who turns out to be Turok. And then they start, they sell some stuff, they hire him, and then they take off to...
01:35:38
Speaker
to their rebel moon moon right and they're like well we got the best that we could like let's just go there train them and see how how long we can hold up hold off kind of thing and then uh we'll say that i don't know gunner's like scanning the radio it's like wait like there's some chatter from the blood axes on this encoded thing like they've heard of like
01:36:05
Speaker
They heard of what we did and they know who we are that they seem to be wanting to go to our moon. Like the blood X is going to show up. Like all of them are going to show up to the moon and they get back to the moon. And, uh, basically they just like, you know, start the prep and shit and robots still were forged rude. And then we cut to noble.
01:36:30
Speaker
in the little back to tank thing. Kind of like you're right. You cut the back to tank thing in. What? I mean, I don't know. They're like, you know, he's being healed. Oh, whatever. Sci-fi medicine. Let's let's yeah. Let's remove the the astral plane. He's being healed. He's like in some kind of like stretcher or something like hospital bed or whatever. And then that's when Bill Asarius comes in and he's like, well,
01:36:56
Speaker
That kind of failed pretty badly on your main objective. He's like, you better not fail on bringing my daughter back. And that's where we'll end. That's a lot better, yeah. Yeah.
01:37:14
Speaker
You don't have to drop everything right there that's why like that and since it's it since it is a trilogy That's why I'm okay with ending it and kind of a soft cliffhanger of like, you know, they're preparing for the fight There's no sign of them coming anytime soon So there's like at least there's a kind of resolution here they've finished their main objective of getting something back to the back to the rebel moon to
01:37:40
Speaker
do something. Blood X's are coming. And then guys, Noble is way too injured to even go anywhere right now. And then you have this little like, little bit of a push for the next was like, get my daughter back. And we he just says my daughter back. But it's not mentioned who it is. Yeah. Well, it's only like everyone's gonna see our movie. There's only one in the entire movie.
01:38:04
Speaker
Well, you make Bill Sarias not look like Korra, and then it's a little bit more ambiguous. If you make him blonde, everyone's gonna think, oh, is it Sam? Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. You can make him, like, I was thinking, maybe, maybe it's Sam. Oh, also another thing. I was gonna say that, like, after, in the second movie, after they barely hold off the assault,
01:38:28
Speaker
they hear from Tarak that he knows Nemesis and then I want to spend 20 minutes with the Nemesis shit because there's so much shit you can do there with like Nemesis' backstory of losing her daughter, the spider losing her children, the spider kidnapping the shit and just like that whole like
01:38:51
Speaker
I almost got the impression that the spider lady, Hermata, that was not the first time she had taken a child. I felt like that was like a long stint and it was Nemesis and Hermata, like superhero to villain kind of.
01:39:07
Speaker
I would definitely make it that it is her motto's first offense. 100%. Because I want there to be like, because her motto's children died and she's like, you know, native to the planet and all these people built around her and then she loses her children because of that.
01:39:30
Speaker
There's so much like heartbreak here that you can work with especially when like with nemesis like Relating with her that she lost her child too and just like so much shit there and like oh I'm not a good writer, but a good writer can just grab that and be like oh, this is good. Let me make some people cry Because that's what I want nemesis thing I really really really liked and I was so disappointed that they wasted it and
01:39:57
Speaker
I would like a movie without all this bullshit, just Nemesis. Yeah. Yeah. And she still looks like an Inquisitor, by the way. Yeah. But that's in the second movie. I'm surprised that there's more cowboy shit, Ed. Hmm? I expected more cowboy shit from you.
01:40:14
Speaker
more cowboy shit? There wasn't as much? Well, I want to keep it loyal to the original story. I don't want to just completely go super cowboy and just insert my cyberpunk story that I have in my head into this movie.
01:40:31
Speaker
fair enough. But yeah, I like the kai betray, betraying them though, they just need more kai. And that's why I wanted kai to be like, you know, change your heart, but no, still fucking back. So you feel something you're like, fuck you, Kai. Yes. I did say get rid of the magic. Instead of astral plane. It's basically, Belisarius plugs his brain into thing and then they plug a
01:41:00
Speaker
Noble brain, same thing. That's what I thought was what happened. Yeah, me too. It hurts. But then the sometimes like astral plane and I'm like, what? Fucking what? Yeah, I was also. Yeah, I didn't mention the daughter, but no mention of her magic powers yet. That's in the second movie.
01:41:18
Speaker
Because there's so much you can do. Do you have a whole trilogy to work with? You can use the first one to build up some characters if you can introduce another one to the second. You already have all these kind of built up. Give them more time. And Nemesis is such an interesting character. And then you can really develop the plot and all the little twists and turns in the second movie. And then the third is the conclusion, the climax conclusion kind of shit. It's so easy to structure a trilogy. And they just put too much in the first one.
01:41:48
Speaker
Way too much. Now I'm making sure for the second and third, because I know Snyder, he's gonna keep building and building and building and building. Yeah, and if he doesn't keep building and, like, you know, he develops the characters more in the second, like, the pacing will feel a little off to me at least. Oh yeah, for sure. It's too late enough to finish it in the second. We have all this, like, good shit, big shit, and it just kind of will sit in the sideline as the second movie plays. Ed, the second was coming out in April. They already filmed everything, so... Yeah, I know.
01:42:18
Speaker
Are we gonna do this for a second? There's a lot of magic that happens in the editing room, so. Yeah. Supposedly Ryan Gosling had a lot of lines in Drive. Editing kind of cut it out. It cut out a really funny joke in Barbie with Ryan Gosling. Yeah, I think I know the joke. I think I heard about that. When Barbie punches the cop, he scream. Yeah.
01:42:39
Speaker
Oh, he'd scream? He did his Ryan Gosling scream and then they cut two. The nice guy scream? They had it and then it cuts two Barbie in jail, but they were like, we can't have the scream and the cut two. We have to pick one. And they did the cut two.
01:42:56
Speaker
Wait, what? You can't have Barbie punch the cup. And then just cut to them in jail. Yeah, you can even have it like start to and then you don't hear. Yeah, no, you cut it off halfway. Yeah, you have to cut the screen. Yeah, obviously. I would probably cut the screen halfway. So why don't we rate this because I'm giving F. Do minus.
01:43:23
Speaker
What did you say? D minus. Okay. Yeah. Cause I want my F's to mean something. And I don't think this is quite worth the F cause there's just a lot of, it's like an atom. There's a lot of nothing in there.
01:43:38
Speaker
Yeah, a lot more nothing than something a way I described it to to my friends is that it just felt it also felt just like just a bunch of Random shit slapped together and just like put together like yeah Yeah, there was and the biggest issue was with that was like there was no character development for the crew that they built at all Mm-hmm. Yeah, it was soulless. Mm-hmm like they didn't have to include all this shit from my course backstory like her being the daughter of those stars and
01:44:08
Speaker
at all in this first one they just had to have that one we need to hold off them when they come to attack us that's all they needed and you can add a little hints there and there but you don't need tell me that also yes the opening sin is still vaginaship yes it has to be literally
01:44:31
Speaker
Mm. Oh, just a little bit of the narration, just like setting up like, not super backstory, but just like, hey, Imperium, king, queen, daughter, daughter was great. They got assassinated. Here you go.
01:44:48
Speaker
and like with that there's like all the there's a power struggle with like the the region generals or whatever regions and multiple regions of and the lassaris is the most powerful and in looking to be the new king looking to do to be the new patisha emperor you know it's crazy because i in in the book it said that the emperor is 70 but looks no older than lado atreides
01:45:19
Speaker
And we're getting Christopher Walker. Christopher Walken. Christopher Walken. Yeah. What if he's supposed to be like pulling redheads? Yeah, he's supposed to be a redhead. What if they D.H. Christopher Walken? No, we don't really. We already saw. I didn't see the trailer. He looks just like Christopher Walken. All right. It's going to be interesting to hear. He's supposed to be a redhead and he's supposed to look around 30. A little bit older than 30.
01:45:45
Speaker
And he has just enough spice in it. The reason it news, he has just enough spice in his diet, but not enough to dye his eyes. Hmm. Yeah. Cause the spice extends your lifetime too. So what have you guys anything new with you guys? I know Ruth is going to say my computer's dead current.
Personal Recommendations and Reflections
01:46:04
Speaker
Yeah. SSD died. And this is the one that had windows. I have another solid state drive, but it doesn't have windows. So it doesn't work.
01:46:18
Speaker
Anything? Yeah. Other than that, I don't know. Magnus Archives. Listen to it. It's pretty good. Ed, where are you at right now? Season three. It's very beginning. Just started season three. Isn't it good? Like that whole bit, like from 77 to like 80, 81, you just...
01:46:45
Speaker
Yes, let's talk about it. It's really good. But like, okay, if you do, if you do listen to, yeah, I'm talking about another podcast. Okay, whatever. Boy samurai. Very good show. Yeah, you're fine. But why samurai? Very good. Very good. I highly recommend it. Um,
01:47:10
Speaker
there are some character decisions they make that I like. I'll still say that much. Like, I say what you want about, like, you know, subverting expectations is getting old. Like, not like people are saying, like, not subverting my expectations is now subverting my expectations. And I think that's the plot twist.
01:47:32
Speaker
I still don't feel that that's true. I still feel like everything's still way too marvelized, and everything's still playing it way too safe. There are some good subversions, and Blue-Eyed Samurai does it very well on a specific, one very specific scene. Yeah. Two scenes, two scenes. Yeah.
01:48:03
Speaker
I highly recommend it. Uh, you can go next with Dan, what are you gonna say? Um, so for Christmas, Hector and I both, we didn't just get one copy, we got two, and not for the reason you think, it's stupider. We got two copies of Baldur's Gate, one on Hector's laptop and one on the PS5, not until we can play together, we play together on the PS5.
01:48:29
Speaker
be able to mod it. Also, we'd be fighting for PS5 time all the time. So yeah, and I can't run it on my laptop. Okay. And also a really cool, awesome, lovely person maybe in the podcast with us who's to say really got me a really fun TTRPG of another podcast. It's also very good. The old gods of Apple, old gods of Appalachia, the tabletop
01:48:53
Speaker
Play RPG the game looks super fun. I am manhandling my D&D group to Force them to play it with me and I cannot wait She's ready to take a break from D&D. I need a little break I am ready to take a big break, but I'm two-thirds of the way through my campaign and I can't stop so I'm just gonna keep it going so yeah, um I recently
01:49:20
Speaker
The three of us went to a really cool concert. If anyone knows Sean James, Through the Valley, The Guardian, The Last of Us, two of you have seen the original trailer for The Last of Us 2, where Ellie sings that one song.
01:49:37
Speaker
I, yeah, the guy who sang that. Uh, I feel like there was, if there was a folk buddy cop movie, hear me out. I know this sounds weird, but keep going. If there was a buddy cop music, but it was like full, like full country kind of vibes, it would be Sean, James and Hoseier. What do you, oh, buddy cop of the serious movie, buddy cop, but without the cop and they're both like music folks, folk country, you can have like two bandits running away.
01:50:07
Speaker
Okay, here's the vibe. I'm gonna reshoot a movie that doesn't exist. Sean James- This is your elevator pitch. This is my elevator pitch. Sean James is a cowboy outlaw running from the law. He falls into a bog, pulls a man out of the bog. It's Hoser. That's my movie.
01:50:26
Speaker
So, like, how QE finds Jeremy in our campaign? No, because it's not in a barrel. He's just in a bog. Like, whole ass in a bog. He'd be dead. Oh, in a bog. No, he's a druid. He's like a druid-y bogman. Sean James in the bogman. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Elevator pitch over. Yeah, it was amazing. He had a...
01:50:50
Speaker
He had a, uh, an organ. He had a, uh, acoustic. They did not touch the organ though. I don't know if the organ is still like operational. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It was fucking massive though. It was like the ones that we saw when we were in London. Yeah. A little smaller, not by much. Well, except for that one in London, that was gigantic. Most of the ones that we saw were pretty massive. There was one that was like two stories. I'm pretty sure. One was the throughout the entire church. Yeah. Yeah.
01:51:19
Speaker
Yeah, I know about that one. The one that just goes around the entire church. Yeah, we didn't get a chance to hear it, sadly. Unfortunately, we've gone deaf. Yeah, I'm going to go deaf at that metal concert February 16th. Fit for King, the whole responder. Definitely going to go deaf there. But some earplugs just in case.
01:51:42
Speaker
There's earplugs, there's special earplugs where you can wear them without, you can still hear perfectly. They just protect the one part of your ear that you need to protect. I'll look into those.
01:51:52
Speaker
Anyways, so yeah, that's it. Hey, who's the next one? I think it's Hector. Or is it? I had an idea for an off for an off brand idea. Okay. It's New Year. Should we look back at the top ones of the year? I don't know. I don't want to listen to you guys fight. We're not gonna fight. Started fighting. I still did to watch a bunch of a bunch of movies that just came out. Okay, so no. What if we just did the Isaac's again?
01:52:19
Speaker
That's a lot of work. We have to do best for different categories. We have to watch more movies arguably. We can just do like a top ten kind of thing. Yeah, we're not gonna actually fight. I just jokingly fight with that in group chat. I still want to watch like poor things and Maestro. I want to see poor things also. At least Maestro's on Netflix. Which one? Maestro. Oh, I don't want to see Maestro.
01:52:44
Speaker
It's just Bradley Cooper trying to force himself to get an Oscar. Like almost rigging it to give himself an Oscar. Sure. Um, what else is there? I want to watch salt burn. I still haven't watched bottoms, holdovers. Oh, I liked the holdovers. It was a lot of fun. Yeah. All right. So we can add a socials and post.
01:53:10
Speaker
Yes, but but but but Hector Andorroothi, I don't know who's next. What is what is our next film? After this? After the top 10? After top 10, because that's a bonus. Is it me or me? It's you. You know what, we got a request recently. We did. We got
01:53:32
Speaker
Also, we have one of them wanting to join for another one of the requests. But Lord Reverend D, a friend of the pod, asked us to do Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children. So why don't we do that one? All right. We got time. After the top 10. After top 10. Okay.
01:53:56
Speaker
Yeah, we can do it out of our children. I've already seen it, but there's a lot of movies that we've done in our pockets that I've already seen, so. Yeah. All right. If this episode goes longer, we can just call it the Snyder Cut. All right. Snyder Cut, podcast, reshoot, yeah. It's not a reshoot. Hashtag reshoot cut. Reshoot cut. If the social post for this episode gets 10 likes, I'll post the reshoot cut.
01:54:38
Speaker
Today's film was Rebel Moon, directed by Zack Snyder. The screenplay was written by Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad, and Shay Hatton. Zack Snyder was also the cinematographer.
01:54:50
Speaker
Now even though we don't necessarily like this movie, we do hope you go show some love to their various social media accounts. They did make a movie, which is more than we can say here. Now our next episode will be our top tens of 2023. Place your bets on what might happen. My money is that Hector and Ed are gonna gang up on me for some of my hot takes. Goodbye.