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In this episode, two Puerto Ricans (and Ruthie) go on a film journey to Paris... It was okay. Join us as we try to fix Puerto Ricans in Paris.

We do not, nor do we claim to, own the rights to this film in any way, shape, or form.

TW: Sexism

Links! Insta, Masta, Discord, Redbubble, Nom Nom

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Transcript

Portrayal of Puerto Ricans in Film

00:00:00
Speaker
So I would say that ah the representation of two Puerto Ricans was pretty accurate in this, ah because one of them was, you know, just a normal person, and the other one was literally insufferable.
00:00:18
Speaker
way That brings up the question though, which one's which? Oh, ah probably, I'm probably the Luis Guzman in this one here. Welcome to reshoot amateurs in song That means I'm gonna go bald I know, but then all the women will be touching your head its it's It'll be the same thing, yeah, because you're the one that's married or not I am the Louis Guzman one But that means that you're gonna
00:00:55
Speaker
You're gonna go to a random lady that you had like a date with and then ask her to marry you and then she says yes. I mean if it's Rosario Dawson, hell yeah. True. Oops, no Ls. Oops, no Ls. No, but yeah he had a bunch of Ls going out, which reminded me of myself. Hello, everyone.

Introduction and Hosts' Background

00:01:18
Speaker
Hello. Welcome to Reshoot, an amateur's guide to gooder film where we take movies we like, we dislike, or maybe somewhere in between, and we make them objectively better. I almost forgot her daughter name. Yes. I'm Hector. I'm Ruthie. I'm Puerto Rican. I'm also Puerto Rican. I i am not Puerto Rican. yeah
00:01:39
Speaker
Yeah, this movie. Maybe it's just cuz I think this movie is a mess and it's gonna make this episode a mess. Yeah, this movie is weird cuz like I just okay, so I'm and relevant. I'm in grad school. We're doing I'm taking an elective class on race and trauma. So I'm a little more like sensitive to this kind of stuff right now, especially especially I just had the class today as of recording this. did Did this movie give you racial trauma? ah No, actually it was so milk toast actually kind of surprised I was expecting like bad stereotypes about stereotype, but we didn't really get many of that Yeah, almost like it was written by people who weren't Puerto Rican at all. It kind of shows it really does.

Plot Summary of 'Puerto Ricans in Paris'

00:02:19
Speaker
Yeah We're doing Puerto Ricans in Paris today it's about Two cops who work for the who do
00:02:30
Speaker
counterfeit theft prevention. Yeah, they so they specialize in counterfeit like designer things. So they go to Paris and they they're hired by a fashion company go to Paris. No one's seen this movie. I feel like this is one of those times. ya Yeah, they go to Paris. And they're trying to investigate who stole one of two designer bags. Spoiler alert, it was the manager. It was the corporation all along. The gasp. Yeah.

Stereotypes and Humor Analysis

00:03:00
Speaker
to Two design breaks that are not set to release until like later that year. Yeah. yeah So no, it's like 10 days from when they get to Paris.
00:03:14
Speaker
but Honestly, yeah, I mean that the characters were in my opinion actually pretty Okay as Puerto Ricans because I've met those two kinds, but people are people yeah, so Apart from that yeah, not not I mean Ed according to you we are those two kinds so yeah And the insufferable one Actually, no, we all know who the insufferable one is I
00:03:45
Speaker
Yes, it's that person. Yes. Instantly new. It's like we paused to confirm who. I name dropped. The weird thing about this movie, and I did ask Hector and I did ask Ed, so I'm not the only one who feels this, but it feels like you're watching like an early 2000s stuff, like the way that they're doing their humor, it's very like, not raunchy, but like, Little not it's not like the to 2010s kind of comedies It's like a early to it's an arts comedy. Yeah, it it feels like it's not Because it feels like a 2000s kind of comedy it feels like but it doesn't know in 2005 and not 2015 But it doesn't do the 2005 kind of comedy because it is more toned down it's for the for the more like I Don't know what term but like more more
00:04:40
Speaker
What's what's good? I don't even think it's a more sensitive. Yeah. but but I don't even think it's that. I get what you're saying. It's more aware. Yeah, more and more aware ah of like how some jokes back in like early 2000s were pretty offensive.

Language and Cultural Representation

00:04:59
Speaker
and it And it is toned down here because it's there's not like, you know. That that F word or like other stuff, but and As of his early 2000s in his room of Puerto Ricans, we probably would have gotten a few slurs. Yeah. Honestly, yeah. And like the the the amount of cursing support cursing the Puerto Rican do is low for the from what I've experienced for Puerto Ricans. Did they speak a... I don't think they even spoke Spanish. but not not very much it was yeah like it was very light spanglish was just like a couple words sprinkled in and yeah it was mostly like hi mommy and also and vamos at us like they're new york perdericans they're still like it's they might be different i don't know but even then like i assume i
00:05:46
Speaker
and Ed and I know some have met some New York Ricans. They're not. But my mom was in New York. Yeah, your mom is in New York. And puerto ricans ah and yeah, did they they she says they cursed a lot. But that was, again, like 50s, 60s. They're around the same age, though. Luis and your mom seem to be similar ages. Hold us, Luis. I'm not going to look that up cause ah well because, cause if your mom ever listens to this and she ends up being older or not that far, he's like 62. I was doing research cause it's weird. No, he's 67. 67. Yeah. No, it's weird cause like he's 67 and Rosario Dawson's like just about to hit 50 and I thought the the age gap was kind of weird. Yeah. So he is much older than my mom.

Character Portrayals and Critiques

00:06:31
Speaker
Okay. Safe. But like playing being though, she,
00:06:37
Speaker
this is good radio for listeners yeah we're talking about ed's mom great radio everyone ah but no it it it is kind of like weird though because he's also like a playboy and he's so well he's old and he's so uncharismatic the script doesn't do him any favors because it comes off it comes off like a AI generated buddy cop movie Maybe it is early chat GPT work. My thought was like, I think I've read some like, yeah, like it feels like chat GPT before chat GPT. Cause when he's flirting with the French women at the bar and the hotel and wherever fucking wherever he's at, it's so uncomfortable. And not because he's like being a playboy, it's because it's painful to watch. It's not it's it's it's like me when I go out.
00:07:32
Speaker
I'm glad I've never gone to clubs with you. I feel like I would have to put you down like a dog. um It's gotten better. Don't worry. and Ed, going from like Geneva Convention bad to like just being you know just to like being exiled bad isn't much better. It's progress, though. Any its progress I'll take.
00:08:00
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, man. who Who wants to talk about this movie first? This is Ed's movie. This was his pick. Right, it was. So technically he should be Cesar. He is Cesar. I am, my mind is not with me today. this was This was my pick for you, but yeah. Oh, that's right. Okay. Oh, I'm the Cesar. Hector,
00:08:25
Speaker
hector would you prefer going first just so you're done with it and then you can just listen to us? Sure, I'll be, but yeah. All right. Puerto Ricans in Paris. The likes. It made me, a Puerto Rican, want to go to Paris. That was on my letterbox review of it. Okay, yeah. No, you're right, because I actually... I didn't want to go to Paris before, because I've heard that Parisians are rude and the city smells of piss. I mean, you heard about the cons controversy recently, right? What happened? There was a black or a lady of that color. I don't know if it was black, but lady color, person color, actress.
00:09:05
Speaker
And there was one security guard who was ah trying to push her away from getting pictures taken and like really being rude or... And here's the thing though, this wasn't the first time. Some people noticed like some people in comms were like, oh, this has happened before with the same lady over like multiple comms. It seems like she just they they don't care because Yeah, I I've heard some stories of Parisians just being rude in general and I'm like, I'm a little like I'm not trying to generalize. I'm sure there's lots of love. I'm sure it was like, you know, I'm sure it's just like, you know, random people, but like just stories like that just kind of make me want to like.
00:09:43
Speaker
Yeah, I was fine to go like anywhere but Paris. Because didn't you say your French teacher told you to avoid Paris? Yeah, no. When I was in college, my first French professor, she was from a little town just south of Paris. And ah she was the one who told us the city smells like piss because you have to pay money to use public restrooms. So you just pee wherever. ah Don't forget it smells like piss and cigarettes. Yes. uh sounds marasche college also true also what is that term you're using you're using what term per Parisians yeah ratious yeah say it one more time Parisian Parisian what is that someone who lives in Paris like we're Portland uh portlanders yeah like we're portlanders is Parisian new yorkers uh shikagans new yorkan new yorkans yeah it's
00:10:42
Speaker
really that's that's a paris thing parisian yeah parisian like a parisian cafe never a parisian cheese wait parmesan yeah that was a joke yeah yeah which i think is italian it is it is i yeah yeah ah but yeah uh she was like don't go to paris it smells like piss and everybody's really rude everybody's rude to everybody that's why it was like maybe some parts like the countryside or france would be lovely like parisians are rude supposedly yeah they're rude to everybody well this is so is this confirmed well i have heard that from multiple people okay i lost my parents they went to paris huh interesting anyways continue no you're fine i'm just thinking where i was at uh paris looked nice if yeah you want to go to paris the idea of them the cop being counterfeit police is actually like a really fun and clever idea
00:11:40
Speaker
And I wish they used that more in the story instead of just an excuse to go places. It felt like... I'm going to my dislikes early. Okay. Other likes. It got Puerto Ricans on screen, which is always nice. You know, we don't have too many. And aren't both the main actors Puerto Rican? Yeah. That's Luis Guzman and Eddie. I don't know his actual last name. Is it Eddie Garcia? I think it was Garcia. I haven't... Edgar, yeah. I haven't seen him on anything else. Ed, have you?
00:12:08
Speaker
He looked familiar. That's all I can say. Also, the buddy cops being brothers-in-laws in this movie was like, actually, again, another fun idea. Man, I wish they did more with it other than a few jokes here and there. I feel like it would bolt off of that. um My dislikes. Here they are in order. Why?
00:12:34
Speaker
I know we do stinkers a lot like it's our it's our quote unquote job but like got this felt like just a waste of like like Ruthie and I watched this with Amazon but we had like credits so like it was fine we didn't cop pay anything I want those credits back you know um This movie was written by two guys who I did check aren't Puerto Rican.

Authenticity in Storytelling

00:13:00
Speaker
Could be fine. Like, you never know. Maybe they have Neorican friends or whatever, right? But it's just a missed opportunity to not even have a script doctor who's Puerto Rican, who can just kind of like touch up a little bit here and there. You know, touch up the dialogue even. Lord knows that script needed that.
00:13:17
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yep, cuz I'm I'm always the people walking and talking and just that's it like Banshees have been sharing that and I fucking love that film. So like it can work You just you just need to make the dialogue good like We're very animated people. We eat it doesn't feel like it um I feel like I've seen Luis and other stuff. He's great. I feel like he wasn't acting as much here. I don't know it Because they give enough to do with the script. I don't know but like it just felt like it was missing Something what what what what do y'all?
00:13:59
Speaker
No, I see what you're saying. It seemed like he was kind of like half-assing it, not necessarily because he's not a good actor because he is a good actor. But like, it kind of just seemed like he didn't know what to do with himself and neither did the director or anybody else.
00:14:18
Speaker
Ed, you got anything? Uh, no. yeah Honestly, I've been trying to find Edgar Garcia and the information on him. It's impossible. Yeah. It just appeared for the movie and just did. He just went back to his own reality. It's like an SCP. He shows up for one movie and just dips. He was in a TV show, How to Make It in America, which I know I've heard of before, but I can't find any information on this person. That was the only thing I kind of recognized. Yeah. I've never heard of that show. He was also in a 76 version of Murder on the Orient Express, apparently. Oh, sick, actually. Yeah. Wow. Interesting. Yeah.
00:15:02
Speaker
Yeah, he looks familiar, but I guess he just looks Puerto Rican, but I can't find information that he is Puerto Rican. Yeah, out of all the people I've, like, I'm not trying to denic like, decimate the guy or say anything negative. He just looks like a guy I've seen across, like, San Juan, and on, or like, umakao. He looks like a chubby pitbull. Okay. Now you're being mean. I, I liked it was just like, Hey, let's talk to someone. I've got it. That is Cuban though. Yeah. That is pit bull. Yeah. Oh God. Cuban. And then like that, that that's that, you know, that I think that he does whatever that's. Yeah. It's trademarked. It's trademarked.
00:15:55
Speaker
Yeah, did not do not see the video that I did see it. I was watching. I was listening to while playing Elden Ring for the DLC. everyone Yeah, but that little scream he does is trademarked. I didn't know. I forgot that he still will see you know if you put it in something without his permission. That's nuts that you can just trademark a noise like that. I still love that he did a remix of nine to five. No, with ah with Dolly Parton. Yeah. Dolly does a lot of that now, which is kinda cool. Yeah. Okay. Sorry, two more dislikes. Their happy ending resolutions didn't feel earned, especially Luis proposing. Yeah. Like, okay. Let's talk about Eddie for a second here, right?
00:16:37
Speaker
Like she, you know, that he wants to get, he wants to get some, he wants to get some puss. He wants to smash some puss. He's one of them. Eddie or Luis? No, Eddie. but his He won't smash his wife's puss, right? Gotta hope my mother listens to this episode. but da and And then like all of a sudden he gets her the earrings and then she's like, I'm going to do everything. Like, you know, it sucks. Like that's not realistic. Cause whenever I gave, when I gave Ed the table, the playrunner tabletop, he just looked at me and he's like, I'll, I'll do a little bit of effort. You still have to do most of it. And I'm like, fucking hell, dude. I can't win. I am reading it though.
00:17:18
Speaker
But you didn't give me anything after that. You didn't like, there was, I still had to do 75% of the thrust?

Buddy Cop Film Comparisons

00:17:24
Speaker
Come on, man. I was in the closet with the Superman costume. Ruthie, Rick and Morty's out. Smiling friends is in. Get with the time.
00:17:43
Speaker
America's a fucking fennel Christ. I forgot the fucking fennel Christ. I'm just gonna say it. ah The cinematography, I fucking can't. Worst part is I can't take it out because it's gonna sound weird when you get the giggles. The cinematography was just kind of them holding a camera. but There was nothing. it just was it There was no real movement. I think it was just a bunch of gods. I don't know. This movie genuinely felt like the Adam Sandler school of like, let's just make a movies and go on vacation. Which, like I respect. Frank Sinatra did it first though. Yeah, but I don't like Frank Sinatra's acting. So I, as someone who's seen the original Ocean's Eleven, I am allowed to say that. Yeah, and at least Adam Sandler has shown that he can be a really good actor if he's really trying. Oh, yeah. I don't know. There's something about the way Frank Sinatra is like,
00:18:36
Speaker
i don't care i'm just here for the vacation and the money where i kind of just respect it you know yeah but yeah yeah whatever i don't know i don't know again maybe it's just like the the It's antithetical to what I like in movies, but I don't know, it just sparks joy. No, no, I respect it. It's just like, I think for me, it's like that Puerto Rican work, like my dad, you know, my whole family has this like big work ethic. I think it's like a Puerto Rican thing, I'm sure it is, but like you work hard, right? Play hard, work hard. I don't care. It just feels like Frank was just like I'm just here for the vacation and the money where playing I kind of just respect it, you know? hard, not working hard, and then you pay him like, what was it, like a dime back then to see a movie in theaters? I don't know. And it's ass. I know as most of the women can, you know,
00:19:18
Speaker
like I'm not gonna make the joke but let it just it like before Frank Sinatra was lazy ah and then like I mean I was gonna say who goes to see the movie but probably just women who fangirl over Frank Sinatra yeah at least I don't understand that like gives it some effort at least to be silly about it like I haven't seen them. I'm sure there's an effort to make it bad. The only vacation I'm saying the movie I've seen, the only I'm saying the movie I've seen is uh, 51st dates. And that one actually had a good love story. You've seen uncut gems, have you not? I have not. I have so much anxiety, Ed. That movie will kill me. Oh, that's right. Yes.
00:20:04
Speaker
So here's my fixes. such long Gloria, my fix. Gloria, Eddie's wife joins the trip. Yes. Cause like, it doesn't make sense. Like just ask for another plane ticket and let her, and a second hotel room and let her just come along. What about their kids? they Their oldest was a teenager. She can watch them for a week. Also, you can't just write in, Oh, Hey mom and dad, can you watch our kids? Yeah. Oh yeah. That's right. There are so many ways. It's it's the easiest solution. Yeah. and And Puerto Rican parents are going to be like, oh, of course we'll watch our grandkids. Oh, yeah. I used to go mom. I'm well on Abuela's house. All the like all decently frequently. Dude, grandma trips to grandma's house. They're the shit. They're the shit. My my my grandparents on my dad's side used to pick me up from school for like four years straight. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.
00:21:03
Speaker
All right, so she and Louise banter a lot because they're siblings. Oh, the the bickering. Yeah, but like, and then especially she starts joining them the investigation because she's like, I don't feel I don't feel I don't like being alone. Like, I'll just tackle it along with you guys. So like, maybe at first she trusts Colette, who is in the movie, she's the one who needs help with the fashion stuff. It's her bag. Yeah, it's her bag that's stolen. And ah yeah, and and Eddie and everyone starts thinking her and Eddie are having a thing. So she's at first trust Colette, but she does start to wonder after if Eddie does have a crush on her.
00:21:43
Speaker
And like, also, since she's upset, and Gloria's upset, Eddie is spending a lot of time and money during the investigation to show Gloria the sights. And like, sometimes it would be Colette, it's fine, but like, she's still upset. And then he gets close to forgiveness by buying her to those sweets, the macaroons. But just as he gets close, to like he can just tell she's like super close to being like forgiving him. But in that one scene where they're walking through the supermodel thing and he stares at the top of the slate and gets himself hit by the door. She sees that that happens. I was gonna say I was thinking you were gonna go with he mentions that Colette recommend the place and then Gloria's. No, I don't want to do the stupid thing. But what happens at first, but what happens is, you know, the topless scene, the he sees the topless supermodel, he hits his head on the thing. She so gets pissed at him and she nearly ruins her character and all their characters and nearly ruins that part of the investigation. And then Louise is like complaining to her about like, an depiction about Eddie. And then he's like, I think she's crushing on him. And he's like,
00:22:43
Speaker
What do you mean? since He's a detective in a sense. He's just like, no, well look, it's all this. Come on, it's all this shit. And then she's like doubting it. No, she's drowning them.
00:22:54
Speaker
Uh, Gloria and Madam and the Madam friend. of Yeah. Yeah. The, uh, the model who bought a winery and it turns out she, she's a pimp. Yeah. They're the ones drinking like crazy. And then they get, they start vomiting and then she's the one who tells Gloria about Collette possibly being the the thief because it's like a women help women kind of thing i don't i try to win well but i'm a man so i apologize if i'm being no no that makes total sense okay few um also louise at the parties hitting on more women as a last shot and then eddie stumbles upon the ex-husband who was actually friends with the man the ex-husband of colette who's actually friends with the manager and he's talking to another friend who's like yeah the manager just got
00:23:43
Speaker
a huge fish tank now which is so weird since they're little guppies. I just put the guppies because I want to hear someone a fresh accent saying guppies. It sounded funny in my head. That does sound hilarious. But yeah so that's so now it's less weird that Eddie knew that where it was located because he wasn't there for that initial bit of like it's always with the snake because he wasn't there.
00:24:04
Speaker
um Also I had a little joke from Pride Month. So you know how all Daniels or Danielle's fall for Luis, it's kind of the same thing for Luis, where every Daniel or Danielle who's crushing on him, he also crushes on. Because he mentioned he smashed so many of them. So like, so the Daniel's just crushed. So Luis is crushing on Daniel and trying to deny it. So like every time where he seemed to be getting annoyed at, Luis Daniel, you think, oh, it's just, he's being a little like homophobic, right? No, he's just like,
00:24:42
Speaker
trying to avoid Daniel. Like, as soon as Daniel takes his shirt off at that party, he leaves and you're like, oh, he's being homophobic. No, he just... So Luis is a bi icon. Well, we finished. So the stakeout for the ex-husband, Daniel tries to talk to Luis and we just brush him off, but Daniel's having fun with it. Daniel knows. Daniel knows exactly what's up. This isn't his first rodeo. So the joke ends with a walk of shame for Daniel from the hotel room that he's had me but that louis's having by himself. And then Gloria sees it. And then Colette walks out too. Wait, what did I write this part down? Oh, and this is the same time where Colette's walking out, Daniel's walking out. Yes. oh And then she's like, like Lord, i better be of ah that better be his room. you know like That better not be my husband's room. And then she asks Eddie. And then like there's this whole joke of,
00:25:36
Speaker
of her going to see her brother, Louis, and she's just like, I thought the last annual was just an experiment or an accident. He just like throws a pillow at her. I don't know. Also, my little last thing in the credits, you know, that one Kanye West song about Paris that I can't say out loud because it's a, you know, ninjas in Paris. Yes. Have Daddy Yankee cover and remix and re change the lines or the lyrics to about Puerto Ricans in Paris. Do you why? doy daanke
00:26:08
Speaker
Well, I said Daddy Yankee for people who don't. I know, I i just said D-Y, like he says it. um And that's it. I like Yeah. It was okay. Again, I didn't have a lot to work with. Rebel Moon gave me more to work with, which is not... Well, yeah, because you can hate watch Rebel Moon and you can be like, what ah hell the even is this? I couldn't even hate this. It was just kind of like...
00:26:34
Speaker
it's It's the worst kind of bad movie. Yeah, Milk Toast. Which is just boring. yeah There's not enough to hate watch. yeah Like, here's the thing, I can't even hate the movie because like, I've been learning more about filmmaking, you know, just lately, you know, podcasts might as well. um And like, I know how much can go wrong in a movie. And it's and I remember some dude on i camera some big dude on the internet was like, it's a miracle movies ever all ever turn out good. But like, I don't know. I want to know what went behind this, like, because there's something there. And I feel like there was originally something there. I don't know if it was rewrites. What? But I wish or like one thing I noticed is in the in the intro scene, Luis Guzman talks about like the the handbag, how the stitching is wrong. Right. And it reminded me of Legally Blonde.
00:27:28
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. And I wish there was more. I wanted more of that. Yeah. I wanted more of like Louise Guzman, this like failed womanizer, like macho guy, just like talking about like thread count and shit like that. That's a good joke. That's a good joke. But they stopped doing after the beginning. Yeah. It would have been nice in my opinion that he's actually very knowledgeable about like designer stuff and all that stuff. and maybe even fangirling over her.
00:28:00
Speaker
Like seeing the real deal like yeah, oh man. I've seen so many fakes of this. I forgot what it really looks like a really good That's a really good face and adds a lot to his character. Yeah, like he has the key right there to be Should I just start them? Yeah, no, yeah do it do it But no like I just feel like I'm adding to your thing that feels like such a good joke Like here he is He's flirting with women the wrong the macho way that just doesn't work like you and I think wait and he has the golden ticket right with his knowledge and his fangirlness or fanboyness, but like Yeah, it doesn't he just doesn't it doesn't click with him. I don't know it'd be funny. Yeah Should I just do my turn then? Do it now more more Yeah,
00:28:49
Speaker
yeah so my likes again normal Puerto Rican insufferable Puerto Rican, okay
00:29:00
Speaker
I liked Colette as a character. Honestly. Yeah, she she was actually well rounded. Yeah. No, she felt like a human being and everybody else felt like a look like not a caricature, but like incomplete. Or like an exaggeration of a specific stereotype. Yeah, what stereotype? Well, so there's like the womanizer. There's the dad and dad. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I thought you mean I thought you i mean puto ricans and i'm like No, no, just like in general just every everybody like even even ah Daniel the the French boy He was pretty in my opinion exaggerated ah Stereotype of like yeah a gay
00:29:47
Speaker
a gay Parisian, you mean? Yeah, but oh you might have to cut out the word. I don't know if it's offensive, but he's basically a twink. No, that's fine. But you said a gay and I'm like weird. OK. Yeah, I was good I was going to say a gay twink, which is yeah, that's fine. Kind of what he looks like to me at least. And it's there's twinks. There's there's yeah, I know. And there's there one there's there's twinks, twunks and bears. Yeah. Yeah. um But that that that I felt Daniel was very ah offensively portrayed in my opinion, even though he was kind of funny.
00:30:25
Speaker
If anyone wants to know the difference between Twinks and Twunks, there's a really good episode on It's Always Sunny where they talk about this. actually Of course you recommend it! Of course it's not it's a Sunny episode, yeah. yeah um What else did I like in this movie? I liked the little like, oh the threading on this bag is wrong, and then it never brought it back up again.
00:30:50
Speaker
Uh, dislikes. A lot of the jokes just don't land and it's kind of cringy. It's because it was written by a chat GPT. And not even, not even like the jokes aren't even too cringy. They're just not good. Yeah. Like I could stand some cringe. I love, I love me some names for you. but like I hate cringe. i it also Go ahead. uh the thing about the jokes isn't like it's a it's a bad joke in that it's cringy it's like it doesn't know what a punch line is like oh my god i'll take it further it it's pretty good it has good it knows what the punch line is it doesn't know how to set it up well well no like louise will say something none of them had punch lines
00:31:36
Speaker
No yeah, Luis would say something and then he tries to say the punch line but like it's not a punch or it's not a lot and there was like the pause for laugh and then they'll just continue on you're like Why am I smelling toast? What's going on? What? Was that funny? Burt toast? Oh my gosh. Yeah. It's, it's, it just doesn't land. Like there were, there were like a couple of things where I just went, huh? Kind of stuff like, uh, Eddie seen the topless model and then hitting the glass. I thought that was kind of funny at least. I don't know.
00:32:16
Speaker
I've hit myself on those kind of doors. I always feel empathy pain. Empathy pain? Oh yeah, with like some of those door hits. I i hit a glass door once because it was so clear. Yeah. Yeah. Dislikes. Dislikes? I'm going into dislikes. I'm going into dislikes. You've done nothing but shit on this department. The only good thing I heard is that you liked Colette. Yeah. So continuing on with dislikes, I guess. uh the the the entire plot was so kind of like predictable and like formulaic and just so bland and seen it a thousand times already it would have been cool if you know one of the four suspects actually did do it i don't know it was too much of a i think they're trying to twist like no it was actually the corporation but like
00:33:16
Speaker
Well, that's why we liked the third man so much was like, it didn't have to like rely on twists and turns and like surprising you with something you've never seen before because like, I mean, I've never seen the murder victim not just being a lot the murder, the No, but it didn't like, I don't know, it wasn't like Atomic Blonde where it wasn't like, oh, oh no, triple spy. I will give Atomic Blonde this because it's a spy movie. It is a spy flick, but the two of those movies, they just like, for some reason, I keep comparing the two. Well, also the Atomic Blonde ending was different than the comic ending. It added one more twist, which was unnecessary.
00:33:58
Speaker
um Yeah, the the third one was cool because i the the only twist was the guy was still alive. And that's it. That's all you needed. That's all that was needed. Everything else was so set up really well. Yeah. and While this one was just kind of like it.
00:34:20
Speaker
I mean nice guys follows this formula as well where they think it's one person and then there's a twist it's actually this person doing all this stuff right because they were like hired by the what's her face the governor or whatever don't spoil it for people who are gonna see the movie Whatever yeah spoilers for this movie Yeah, I know spoilers for Either either either way nice guys kind of follows a little bit of the same buddy cop thing with the with the twist at the end of who's actually the real Criminal kind of thing, but it's it's but it's done in a logical way. Yeah They get to a point where they can't continue, they hit a metaphorical wall and then they get the new lead. With the way that Puerto Ricans and Paris does it, they have like one conversation with each of the suspects and then Luis declares, nope, couldn't be them. Also, I feel like with Ryan Gosling, it was a literal wall. So like, it's even more excuses. Yeah. And and Nice Case had good comedy also. That we had no right being as good as it was. Like, I didn't think Shane Black had it in him to do this kind of thing anymore.
00:35:21
Speaker
Yeah. And I wish we would have gotten more of those kind of movies. Yeah, what was it? The Angry Birds movie killed it. Yeah. Oh, really? It was the angry. No, Ryan Gosling talked about it like on it during his Oscar run for Ken. It was it was Angry Birds that killed it. It killed what? Any of a nice guy's sequel. Yeah, because they came out at the same time. Oh, and what do think are you going to take are you going to go see a radar movie during this time where people didn't want radar movies or are you going to take your whole family to go see Angry Birds. I don't think he was even two, which was the good one, according to people who've seen both. I've at least seen the first one and in that didn't. The second one was a completely different team. It was the same team that would become Sony Animation. Oh, yeah.
00:36:09
Speaker
like so meatbales yeah I have not seen either. I didn't know that. I haven't either. I just I learned. I watched sometimes
00:36:21
Speaker
It was a lot of like, ah YouTube documentaries on these kinds of things. Just anything really, but I got in like, there was something about like angry. It was a, it's more just like, okay, it's gonna be summarizing 30 minutes. Why are you stretching out to an hour?
00:36:36
Speaker
Anyways. Um, sorry. Yeah, b bla bland bland plot plotline blend, line, blend, twist. Like I said, coming a mile away. Um,
00:36:50
Speaker
I actually didn't because I didn't set it up enough, really. Yeah, it was like three lines of dialogue. to so Like like the the only thing I had, like, right, right when they when the girl like confessed to stealing the second bag when it was revealed it was the other bag. I'm like, Oh, so it's it's it's Vincent then because he he bought the company like i Yeah, I actually thought it was Colette sabotaging her life, but as soon as Eddie and Luis started guessing it, I'm like, okay, it's definitely not her then, so it's probably them. Yeah, I saw that. I did have that too. It's like, maybe it's Colette, because again, she sold her brain. And then Luis is like, it's definitely 100% Colette. I'm like, so it's not Colette.
00:37:39
Speaker
We can rule that one out. I didn't even care enough to try to guess. yeah I love to guess. Can confirm. I was there. yeah k i would I just like to try and guess to see if I'm smart enough to have a correct guess with as least clues as possible. are you Instead of are you smarter than a fifth grader, it's are you smarter than the director? Am I smarter than the script? Yeah, than the director. Are you smarter than Puerto Ricans in Paris?
00:38:10
Speaker
ah
00:38:15
Speaker
I disliked a lot of this money. So let's just go straight to the fixes after I can't think of any. You had a good one. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm going straight to the fixes. So first of all, Eddie's a horrible husband also. Yeah. I actively rooted for Gloria to leave him. Okay. So I would, I would still keep Gloria back. um Because my fix would be Eddie does get with club club whatever faces let Collette. Yes, I Would do that Why what why why Because it's different Okay, that's fair because it actually adds something to the movie. That's fair. Yeah, it adds like some things and then ah Gloria's like well fuck you the I guess and ah
00:39:13
Speaker
Except I don't want to like I don't want Gloria to end up just like single parent with four kids and like something along those lines. So I don't I don't I would have to have her like she's into it set up. No, no, like like I have her set up to be fine. Oh, that's nice. Oh, no, wait. they They did mention that Gloria was going to like get with that was another dude. I forget who. What? There was a ah throwaway line that Louise said to Edgar that Gloria was gonna get with like the salon guy or something like that. Oh, I think... Oh, is that she should get with... I think she should get with them? Yeah, so... Should have? Should have, yeah. So well they both cheated on each other while they were away? Yeah, they both cheated and it turns out that the other guys, the salon guys, like loaded with money either way. Just so's just so Gloria's better off in the in the long run. Um... Yeah.
00:40:12
Speaker
yeah And then, yeah, I would I would definitely add throughout the movie that Luis is very knowledgeable about designer brands and how they're stitched together and how things are supposed to be. And like he it it shows a lot of that knowledge and like being able to see fakes and what's real and what's not and all of that. And then like ah to add to the joke, I want it to happen. a Couple times where there's like a very attractive woman nearby But he's not actively going for them well, then he says that and the woman shows interest in like his knowledge and he's just like and Then he just like so like does the switch of doing the macho flirt and the girl immediately gets uninterested again Just like throughout the movie of like if he just kept talking about like, you know what he knows it'd be fine, but he doesn't because he's an insufferable Puerto Rican and
00:41:09
Speaker
Alternative, another one just to like, you know, mix it up a little. ah He starts talking about a woman's bag and she's like getting into it. And then he realized it's the fake midway through and he starts berating it and she leaves.
00:41:24
Speaker
That's a great, that's a great little joke to put it and in there, yeah, too. He just notices like one stitches the wrong pattern and he's like, oh, not this bag is actually a fake. You can tell from there. You got you ripped off like, fuck that shit. Fuck that bag. You should throw it away already. Burn it. I don't know. And then she's like, leaves. I thought the inverse where he's like, fine, I'll switch up the tactics this time. No, he doesn't learn. Oh, no, no, let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish. That's funny. Let me finish. He tries to switch up the tactics at the request of like Eddie or even Colette. But this is like the one lady who would have really gotten into being much, you know, she would have been into the machismo shit, but it starts being all nice where he's like, oh, he's like, see what I mean? And he just keeps going.
00:42:14
Speaker
ah but Oh my gosh. Yeah. Uh, and then I would, I would actually have like one of the four it original suspects be the one who actually stole the bag. Who'd you pick? Uh, I would pick the, the failed model. Oh, see the the pimp and if i'm answer. Why the pimp? why the pimp because she
00:42:48
Speaker
ah needed one of her girls to go on a date with some very wealthy guy that was going to pay a lot. So she took the bag and gave it to her to go on that date. And then it it went on a little bit longer than anticipated. it Oh, and she was just hoping it would be so fast that Collette wouldn't even notice. Yeah. And then what happened is the the ransom note actually comes from the girl that she loaned it to. So it wasn't actually her fault. It was um that loan toist yeah I feel like if you're doing cheating and shit, then the ex-husband would have made sense thematically, but that's actually a really good twist.

Alternative Plot Suggestions

00:43:27
Speaker
No, that i that put the-husband is too obvious, honestly.
00:43:33
Speaker
just like putting it like one ah one chain down the line where it's the lady that the madame is pimping for that she sends the ransom letter to try and get out of that out of the the pimp situation because it's like a million euros which is a lot um
00:43:54
Speaker
And then for the resolution kind of thing, I think, first of all, Edgar does get with Colette and they get their macaroons and whatever. And then Luis talking with the with the like, shut up. No, I was just thinking if they get together, they get more like smackaroons, am I right? No, I thought you were giggling about the the non-pizza kinky bee. No, no, no, no. I know that person. My steam popped up and I have a yeah someone I know named Non-Pizza Kinky Beef. I can't remember who they are though. I know in my personal life. I can't remember who, when. He goes back in college. um Anyways. Sorry. Sorry.
00:44:39
Speaker
And then for Luis, so Eddie and Colette stay in France. That's their thing now, right? And edgargates Eddie gets hired by the French police or whatever. And then Luis also stays in Paris because ah Vincent was actually very impressed with how he could detect and know so much about designer brands that he gets actually gets hired on by Colette's brand. to work in the company with like uh pick i don't know designing stuff that makes it very much easier to tell what is a fake and what isn't kind of stuff like hiding certain stitching things and stuff like that then leaving the force is the funniest thing yeah well edgar gets hired by the french police that's oh yeah fair enough
00:45:27
Speaker
and then And then Luis gets his dream job of working on the same thing. Working for Colette's designer thing. And the and and he's still dating and Eddie's with Colette, so they still remain in very close contact and friends and all that. And then Luis also find ah finally gets one of those French girls and eats her croissant.
00:45:53
Speaker
Oh god, I forgot that joke. It just got me actual psychic damage. He has cars or go. ah He has cars or go.
00:46:06
Speaker
I wanted to fit that joke somewhere.
00:46:11
Speaker
That's my fix.
00:46:15
Speaker
Ah, psychic damage. Okay. Ruthie, please, maybe you forget the joke. Oh yeah, and I want us i wanted to show that Louise gets the girl because of... he turns out on the fashion designer stuff. Yeah, the the epilogue bit is like him talking to this girl. He's got like the little like glasses and he's like leaned in and he's like, yeah, you see this stitching? Yeah. Mm-hmm. This is genuine. She just like makes out with him. Yeah.
00:46:39
Speaker
yeah And he even like tells her, like oh, this is actually a unique one because of ah they only made like so so many of these. So there's actually a lot more worth than what you bought it for. nothing And yeah, that's my fix. yeah here They stay in Paris, basically, which I think, I don't know, it's different. All right. What I liked about this movie, Danielle, dislikes.
00:47:09
Speaker
I don't know. there's like just Every time he was on screen, I would just was very happy. and ah When he wasn't on the screen, like you know it kind of ranged. You could tell the actor was really trying. Yeah, no. Every time. I think he was having a lot of fun. He was having fun. He was having a lot of fun.
00:47:30
Speaker
I don't know. It just sparks joy. And the rest of the movie was so mad. It's like the only thing that like sticks out in my mind. Anywho, dislikes. ah Yeah, the fact that Eddie leaves Gloria in when she he's going to Paris the day after their anniversary. Which he forgot. Which he forgot multiple years in a row and her birthdays. I am clear i am team. Gloria should leave him. I mean, we both have forgotten anniversary, so I don't... Yeah, but you and I are chill and she was very upset. Yeah. Okay, I do want to say something, though. Like, they're strapped for cash.
00:48:13
Speaker
you can still so ruth ruth and i've been in some tight Yeah, I know I know I know and know he's still he's still a dumbass for forgetting right yeah, but just just hope for forgetting but just like My personal opinion as long as you don't forget the actual day. You don't have to celebrate on the day, right? It's okay to be talking a little bit afterwards, right? Yeah. Yeah. Obviously we're talking beforehand. Like obviously just obviously do something small on the day. Just smack a rune on her croissant, dude. That's all you have to do. yeah but No, like it's not, it's not this one instance. It's that the movie tells us that this is a recurring thing and Eddie has not learned and he doesn't give a shit. But real but real real quick, like it's okay to not do it on the day, right? As not as long as you remember the actual day. and okay Yeah, like if it's if Hector and I have an anniversary that's in the middle of the week, we'll be like, hey, happy anniversary, and then we'll do something cool on the weekend. Okay. Yeah. All right. Just as long as you don't forget. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. And we've both forgotten at the... We once forgot at the same time. That was kind of funny. Yeah. We're like, oh, hey, yeah, it was his anniversary. Oh, shit. Let's go get donuts. Yeah. Oh, sorry, Ruthie, continue.
00:49:31
Speaker
Yeah, ah so i'm I'm team Free Gloria. Luis, I already bitched about him. He's not funny, not charismatic. I definitely agree with you both that ah there was like the, I don't know, I liked the like, he's very passionate about fashion and like he's good at what he does identifying fakes. Neither of you noticed how like, Everybody was just, all the women and Daniel were obsessed with Eddie for like, no reason. No, no, I noticed. i just assume as you mentioned I just assumed he was a chill dude. I've know a lot of people like that. I've met people like that. They're just so chill. Everyone just gravitates. In my experience also, if you're a man and you have a girlfriend, women pay more attention to you. If you're single, not as much.
00:50:27
Speaker
It's because you're reeking of desperation, there's a difference. Not you, not you, Ed, not you, Ed, Jesus Christ. No. No, but like that, that from my experience, that happened. maybe you I get what you mean, Ed, when it rains, it pours. I've heard this rule at the same time. Like, if that's the vibe that they're going for. I thought that they were kind of going for Eddie is nicer than Louise, so women like him more. If you're going to do that, like have one other French man be a dick, and then it makes sense where Eddie's just chill. He does not give a fuck. He's not trying to pursue them where they're like, okay, yeah, you're like one of the one of your you're one of the girls now. I am one of the girls. like
00:51:08
Speaker
I also figured like he's New York Rican. It's very different personality and culture wise than like. And I've heard a lot of French men are very aggressive when they're pursuing women where they're a lot more like Louise. I wouldn't know a thing about that. I don't really keep up with French. Who cares about the French? Who cares about the French?
00:51:31
Speaker
as i as a Rocky does. a rocky do I say as I confirmed her French DNA.
00:51:41
Speaker
You deny yourself your purpose, Ed. Running away. It's a very small percentage, but yes. On my dad's side, some people immigrated to Spain from France. Oh, sick. Anyways, yeah, everybody's obsessed with Eddie for like, no, it's, I don't know, it's giving participation trophy. You know what I mean? Like he's doing, being like, bare minimum human decency. I don't know, I'd hang out with Eddie. I mean, yeah, but like everybody wants to, it seems like all those women wanted to like sleep with them. I mean, I'd sleep with them. Okay, but you're you.
00:52:18
Speaker
Happy pride. Yeah, pride mom. I like him a little sloppy toppy. That would always brace Ruthie every time. I don't know, there's just something else. with Would you dock with him? I mean, if we wear socks, then yeah, it's fine. I would jump pump for you and Eddie. Wait, what? Thank you. Wait, Hector, you know what docking is, right? Yeah, I know what docking is. Would you dock with him? I mean, yeah, but we have to both wear socks. Let me see. Is there anything else? We've kind of just talked about it. The script is bad. ah Not a lot of Puerto Rican-ness. Anywho, on that note, let's go to my fixes.
00:53:01
Speaker
um The movie's gonna start out in New York, same thing where they're like doing a sting to get the Louis Vuitton bags. Except at the very end of that like sequence, they find, Louis and Eddie find out that ah they weren't just like smuggling ah counterfeit bags. For some reason, like this was also a racket. They were smuggling animals. Specifically, like ah the crate that they got away with, they were... ah Hold on, I had the name. Puerto Rican because puerto rican parrots.
00:53:45
Speaker
You know there's only like 300 of them, right? Exactly! Yeah, so they see the parrots and they're at the their boss is like, hey, great work, guys. you got the you got the You got the bags. That's what we needed. And both of them are kind of like, no, no. like that that's like We can't just let that slide. you know we're puerto rican We might be from New York, but we're Puerto Ricans. like Come on, we gotta fix that. And then she's like, this isn't your jurisdiction. Apparently they went to Paris. we like
00:54:17
Speaker
we let yeah Interpol. Interpol. We'd let them know about it, whatever. You know, it's not your thing. You don't do animals, you do purses. And ah they like kind of said it. up They're like not cool with it. um And they just decide to go for it. So it's less about purses. Maybe they can find a tie. I didn't write down my notes, so it's a little scrambling. Sorry. I mean, maybe they sell both. so They use the fake purse. They use their insights for the fake.
00:54:49
Speaker
counterfeit purses to get into the space yeah space because it was owned by the same people yeah uh and there's they're they're smelling Puerto Rican parrots right yeah yeah they're exotic yeah people that buy designer clothes might also be into buying exotic illegal animals yeah yeah like maybe Colette uh she kind of like stumbled in on it and she's like Hey, this is fucked up. i ah I'll sponsor you, come to Paris, see if you can solve it. I don't know. Can I give you an alternate idea? What? She's one of the higher ups. Louise seduces her by complete, because she's just, it's been so long since she missed a divorce, and she's just so desperate for just to sleep with anyone. She's like, I need to make a mistake. She's louise he's just like, she's just like perfect. I need to make a mistake.
00:55:41
Speaker
i i I it's a real field not was like I don't know about the sex wise but there's times where I'm so angry at life I'm like I just want to make a mistake right now You know Colette did mention that she was really easy in that point in her life I was thinking
00:55:58
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know what else to do. I don't know. I was just thinking like, and then I need to make a mistake though. That's funny. Yeah. She's like, I need to make a mistake. She's Louise. Perfect. And then like from there on, she just keeps helping them out a little bit. I think like, uh, Oh my God, that's so good. It's really good. You guys don't do that where you're like, I'm so angry. I'm just gonna make a mistake. Like sometimes I'm like, it's self-sabotage. I know. Like I'm like, oh, i that is not how I self-s sabotage self I don't self-sabotage like that either. I self-sabotage. you Alcohol. Not anymore. Okay. No, i I lay in bed and watch YouTube videos for way too long.
00:56:43
Speaker
That's self-sabotage and shit, I haven't there with you. That's not self-sabotage, that's ADHD. I go on like donkey, every like few months I go on like a big donkey binge. Oh for me it's terminal montage. That's a good one too. I need to do laundry and I have it because I've been laying in bed watching YouTube videos. That's self-sabotage. Look at this guy, he does laundry.
00:57:05
Speaker
Anyways. We have to climb them out, we have to climb the hamper while not laying in the clothes spill to get to bed, no. Half of my room is closed. same it's not don't don't say that they're gonna think we're actually like shit no it's fine anywho yeah Gloria comes with them for one thing because if if Eddie's leaving Gloria should come too it's fucking Paris but free going sorry I'll stop interrupting does she have like a B plot that almost has nothing to do with it until it just connects um
00:57:42
Speaker
Yeah, I think ah she's just going to go sightseeing and she keeps lee like accidentally giving them clues. Oh, like ideas like oh I did this. I went to this place. all those weeks I saw this. What? Yeah. And it's so weird because remember when we went to Puerto Rico last time there was the cookies. I could have sworn I heard them here. What?
00:58:05
Speaker
And I think how I would handle the whodunit in this case, since it's not a purse, it's the parrots. ah
00:58:17
Speaker
Let me see, I'm trying to figure it out. The parrots were smuggled by whatever the ring, but they were ordered, like who did the order? It was the ah student Colette's like protege. She was going to, she's using the parrots as ah inspiration for a new collection that she's trying to use to get out from under Colette's thumb. I don't have to CGI those birds. Or just never show them. I don't think you have to show all of them. Or... Well, how are you going to get one on camera? I guess you can do puppetry. Puppetry or something. I'm going to way too much detail for a silly little... I'm sorry, I'm just like... Yeah, that's the thing. How do you get the birds on screen? Because they're not going to let you... You just get like a parrot and just paint it. Yeah, you could get just a standard green parrot and then fix it in post. I guess, yeah. They're not super brightly colored, so it's not too hard.
00:59:16
Speaker
If you don't know, we're talking about Luca, Puerto Rican parrots. They're a very lovely bird. They look pretty. Also, ah since my fix is very generic, I did come up with a few jokes. Ooh. Let's hear them. Uh, when Eddie and Luis are trying to introduce themselves before, like, they like they they get their names out and then whoever they are introducing themselves to, uh, they were respond with, oh, hey, are you Cuban? Oh, hey, your name, it's Hispanic. Are you a Dominican?
00:59:49
Speaker
And every time they're like, no, we're Puerto Rican. And to to make the joke even better, like on the last time it happens, they ask if they're Mexican and that's when they blow up. Yes. I feel like it's not. Whenever I've blown up because people get it wrong on purpose, they'd say it's always been- No, the worst one is Jamaican, because that makes no sense. Oh, that one makes no- Oh, someone thought that of me once. They thought I was- This joke was inspired off of real life. Yeah, someone- I told her some stories. She's been there for a few of the stories. But one of them was we hung out with a friend of hers. No, he's not a friend of mine. He's a friend of a friend. No, we've hung out with a friend of hers. She brought a friend. Yes. Okay. And like, he had never met a Puerto Rican before. ah Pretty obvious. So he was like, Yeah, you know, you're just gonna go smoke. I was like, I'm gonna go now because i it was Halloween. I just want to hang out there anymore. cause You're gonna go go and smoke weed now, right? And I'm like, what?
01:00:44
Speaker
It took me a while to re- It took us an hour to realize he was making a joke about being Jamaican and smoking weed. Yeah. Being a Rastafarian. Yeah, honestly, like i I don't like the comparison or like people getting me wrong for being a Mexican because there's a lot of Mexicans here. And the number two thing is like, oh, so you like spicy food and like That is not Puerto Rican cuisine. He does not, though, either. You don't like spicy food. I love spicy food. Puerto Rican food is spicy in that there are many spices and it's a very complex flavor. It's not it's not that it's hot. yeah Except for the hot sauce that Hector got from the mountains when he was in Ponce, like 10 years ago. It wasn't Ponce.
01:01:32
Speaker
So my cousin lives out in the boonies in Puerto Rico, right? Like in a very big rain, like not rainforest, but like a pretty tropical, like the whole land is tropical. God damn it. It's a pretty green area. Like it's pretty, it's basically like ah almost a homestead, right? Yeah. And, uh, huh? Rural. Very rural. It feels like a homestead. Right. So. one time we brought she brought in this hot sauce it's like yeah some old man up in like a peddler from the mountains yeah feller from the mountains like five miles away just was selling them so i bought some oh my gosh to this day i had just a toothpick i used to eat just back when i was like at the peak of like loving spicy food
01:02:09
Speaker
It nearly knocked me on my ass. It literally knocked my... I told my grandpa, don't eat it. He's like, oh, because he saw me do it. He's like, I'll do it. I'm like, no, don't. Wrong thing to say to a very stubborn old man. But like, he ate it. We nearly had to take him to the hospital. I've never seen a man so red. It's pretty saying no, don't. And it was your grandpa, right? Yeah, you should have just said your funeral. If I'd said that, he would've chugged a thing, you kidding me? He does not like to me proven wrong. And like, here's the thing, I have seen that man in many medical emergency situations, I'd never seen him so red and out of breath, as in that moment. Like, it was, it was strong. Like, have you ever had the last, if anyone here's had the last dab from Hot Ones, I've had it? I've had the bomb. It was a lit, huh? I've had the bomb. The bomb's not spicy, I'm talking about spice level.
01:02:57
Speaker
It was spicier than either of those. Some dude just made it and like he aged it like a fine wine. And then I'm like, where can I guess? And I'm just like, oh, I think he's dead. So too long of a story. Anyway. Anywho, yeah. Uh, the second joke I had was they're in like a restaurant or they're in like some kind of situation and a guy from Spain walks in and he's

Comedic Cultural Exchanges

01:03:25
Speaker
talking Spanish. He's not speaking French. Nobody can understand what he's saying. And Luis says, don't worry, I can speak Spanish. I'll talk to this guy. And he goes to start speaking Spanish to him and both of them point to each other at the exact same time. And they're like, what the hell is this man saying?
01:03:38
Speaker
Yeah, is that they think they think he's speaking Spanish, but he's actually speaking speaking Catalan, which sounds similar, but ah you cannot understand it. And the part and the part and puerto ri spanish half it's slang. So. Oh, yeah. It just ends up as both. Yeah, just like what? like Yeah, they just both look at Luis like, what what is he saying? Or both look at Eddie, that is. Yeah. was like And like, hold on, I'll translate. But yeah, that's, ah that's my fixes.
01:04:15
Speaker
All right. What a bad movie. 2015. That's that. That is what shocked me the most. I sort of, I mean, I looked at that looked. What happened with 2015? And I'm like, because isn't that when ah point break also came out? Yeah. thanks plenty you fifteen I think this something I just have a weird feeling in the back of my head. This feeling was in development. This movie was either in development hell or like nothing or like it was held back. you like when movies are push hold movies on yeah that's why it felt ten years old yeah i wonder if it was like close to 10 years when it was oh dude 2015 was actually really bad even the top 10 movies are kind of ass yeah it's the force the waken's drastic world age of ultron i guess inside out is fine furious seven minions
01:05:07
Speaker
Ugh, Spectre? Oh god, dude. But, Hate Flake came out that year also, so... There were some good movies. But there were a lot of bad ones. Oh my god, Jupiter Assembling! It's like the opposite of 1992. 92 came out with some real good ones. 93 also, because that was a Jaws and Jurassic Park, I'm pretty sure. Jaws? Jaws came out in like the 70s. Like 76? My thumb. Well Jurassic Park came out in 93. Another really good one, I forget. What's up Ed? Are you stupid? Yeah, really stupid. Oh god, Lazarus Effect. Fury Road came out in 2015. Which one? Fury Road. Yeah, Fury Road was great. Yeah, I know, but look at the bad movies though too. It's like Ex Machina came out.
01:05:56
Speaker
Oh, it follows Camaro. Sicario. Sicario. There were some really, like, I think, I think the problem with, with 2015 was there were some really good ones and really bad ones. Cause Jupiter was not in 2015. It was a tale of two movies. Ex Machina. Oh my gosh. All right. What movies, what media, what media have we been watching? We each get to, um,
01:06:27
Speaker
I don't, what have I been watching? I don't even know. I'll come back to you. Ruthie? Oh, I forgot my other like, God damn it. Okay. the The guy at the very beginning of the movie, I recognized him. He's from a show that Hector and I have been enjoying, Animal Control. He plays Patel. That's a fun show. It's a really fun show and I'm recommending it to you right now.
01:06:53
Speaker
it's not like It's like a workplace comedy, not like The Office. It's kind of like community, especially because, ah what's his face? Joel? Joel McHale. Joel McHale. Jeff Winger. Jeff Winger from Community is in the show. He's one of the main guys. ah They've done a few community references. They've done quite a few community references. A surprising number. They had Ken Jeong in one of the episodes. That was hilarious. That one was the only one where they actually threw like a few. Like, I'll allow it. And ah so he plays like the grumpy former cop now at animal control guy. His partner is this young ah Labrador boyfriend type who used to be an ex professional. He's like an ex professional skateboarder. That snowboarder snowboarder. Thank you. And ah he tore his ACL and now he's in Seattle, ah rescuing dogs. Hmm. Anything else?
01:07:47
Speaker
Um, no, I think that I've been, at I've been playing a game called Appico or it's probably APCO. Can you spell it? Uh, A-P-I-C-O. Okay. It's a, it's a bee game where you get to, uh, repopulate the bees. That's adorable. It is. And it's fun. Do the bees, do they have a sprite of the bees and are they adorable? They have many sprites of the bees. They are quite pretty. So ah today I just got the calcified bee, which is this really nice little pretty like rose pink color. I also have the prismatic bee. I got that yesterday and it's like blue and pink. ah My favorite is the glitched bee, which you only, you get it when you teleport too much and then you wind up in a place you shouldn't. And then there's, it's, it's like a little nightmare looking bee. Oh, it's like missing. It's very silly. Is it like missing no from Pokemon?
01:08:40
Speaker
I don't know. Similar, similar. OK. It looks like an actual game like. Hold on, let me show you a picture of the glitch be. Oh, also, the glitch be description in ah in the game is binary. And when you spell it out, it just says these, these, these. It doesn't look like missing. No missing. It was just a messed up spray.
01:09:04
Speaker
ah Ah, yeah, my two. are Rosina Saffiriosa. Oh, I didn't do it shit. Holy shit. It's good shit. Yes. It's not it don't expect ah Fury Road. It's a different movie. And this is to be like, Oh, it can be disappointing. No, no, no, no. no Like the plot structure is different. It feels like a saga. It feels like the Odyssey. Yeah. And it's called a Mad Max saga. So Yeah, but you think it's like, oh, it's like a little like, you're, yeah, you're coming to it and you're kind of expecting more of like a, like a straightforward, like I say straightforward, but like a narrative like Mad Max where it's like very like simple linear narrative kind of short span, like a few days, whatever. No, this covers like a longer time period and there's like cuts. There's yeah like five acts.
01:09:56
Speaker
Matt Matt Max was a very or Fury Road was a very like interesting and different way of storytelling and very very little dialogue because I think max had 25 lines of dialogue in the entire movie I mean he there's also not a lot as much dialogue with a lot of moments in Furiosa I think he just likes silent protagonists Yeah, and just but it it is it is not mad. It is not Fury Road because it doesn't the narrative is is more traditional.

Cinematic Style Comparisons

01:10:25
Speaker
It's not like unique like Mad Max. Not saying that's a bad thing. I'm just saying that's no, it's not again. No, it's but it's still a very good movie. Yeah. So the most coldest lines I've ever heard in my life.
01:10:36
Speaker
Oh, right, dude, that one was intense. Furiosa as a character is what I would have hoped Cora from Rebel Moon, what she should have been. Yes, honestly. Yeah, that's what she should have been. But like when Furiosa is talking about like ah killing Hemsworth character, I forget, like the line she gives, right? right before it cuts or whatever. And then ah just the like from where my mother will fortunately be absent from. Killer, killer line. my Someone said, speaking of Rebel Moon and George Miller, someone said
01:11:26
Speaker
uh, George Miller's what Zack Snyder wants to be. And I can't, I can't unsee it. There are like, Oh my God. No, they're very similar. yeah I honestly, I want Zach to get to that like and say because sucker punch was like that. Yes, yes! It was the closest thing, I think, yeah. Again, he just needs good people on his team. Like, the only reason George Miller movies work, and he's admitted to this many times, is because his wife is a documentary editor. So she knows how to really edit movies to help him out. I gotta say, I'm a sucker for- he did it a lot in Furiosa, and I know he did it at least once or twice- no, he did it more than twice in Fury Road, but ah when the person is like driving and it like zooms out, I love that shit. Mm-hmm where it just zooms out of like like it's a close-up of them then it zooms out Yeah, it zooms out usually through like the windshield. Yes, and they like then you get to see the landscape Yeah, I just love it. I love how much yeah George Miller loves do hickies Yeah, I was I was definitely going into Furioso with the wrong mindset that it was gonna be similar to a fury road and it's not at all It's it's in the best way. Yeah
01:12:37
Speaker
There's he knew you couldn you couldn't touch it. So he did a good job. My other one is a video game called control. It's basically like Magnus archives a little bit or more like SCP as a video game. If you play this game, you guys don't just like, you know, you can find item descriptions and stuff, or like you can read files, read all of them. Like half the game treatment. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. But like, well, I'm descriptions, but just like ah stuff you can find around. Trust me. Half this game is just the really good level design and world building. It is a very memorable game in that regard. Like.
01:13:18
Speaker
if It's good. The gameplay is really fun too, mind you. Like, it's just like, it's a game that you gotta experience. You gotta go for a lot of it. And do some of the side quests. You don't do all of them, but do some. I heard the game was actually bad. But it is I might be confusing it with a different one. It might be. This game has like a 9 out of 10 on Steam and like an 8.8 on Metacritic or whatever. It's good. You just gotta better get into it the right way. Better than Starfield. I think Metacritic gave give Starfield 83 or something like that. know store I think that's more because they didn't want to get shit on by a lot of great or shit on microfi fan um people were getting attacked by Bethesda fans until the game release and then they're like, oh, we're sorry. Yeah, yeah but Starfield is actually horrible.
01:14:05
Speaker
Yeah. They're just now adding vehicles. Just now. Just now. After all this time. ah what if I haven't really been playing anything, honestly. i um
01:14:20
Speaker
Unfortunately, I haven't been playing a little bit of League again. I see that and I'm disgusted. yeah And did you finish Magnus?

Ongoing Series Discussions

01:14:30
Speaker
it's so i i'm an oh what am i on i'm like 198 or 197 well last time you texted me you said you just finished 198 Yeah, I'm on 199. He's got two left! You don't understand, Hector. I don't want it to end. because That's fair. like you just have Do you want me to tell you how it ends? No, i know you have these stories that like I'm just like, why can't this just go on forever? Why can't this go on for 20 seasons like Grey's Anatomy? That's what I want from this.
01:15:07
Speaker
i Swear those actors just want to be done. I mean the the main actress is not in every episode anymore She's doesn't even work for the hospital and the character doesn't work for the hospital anymore Wait, how do you know this because my mom still watches Grey's Anatomy your mom still watches it Yeah, not not not as religiously as she used to but yeah I mean, I think they even the show does that now where it's like you can skip a bit Yeah, and it's they've been they've also started watching the bear. Oh shit, I can't wait to talk to your mom about that. At least I think so. I think so. I don't know. Oh man. Ed, have you seen it? No, we still haven't. I still haven't finished Korra. I forgot that I hadn't finished Korra yet. Did you finish season three at least? Yeah. Again, Zaheer is a cool villain. Aman was the best villain. Season two is just dog shit. oh The second half of season two is good. The second half is where it picks up.
01:16:00
Speaker
What is he well that's because he knows the entirety of season two is dog shit for except for you know I was of one season two wasn't gonna be made it was gonna be a season one and then Nickelodeon's like hey we're gonna make three more seasons with or without you and they're like uh we'll come up with something and then they had to quickly come out with something So they they weren't going to even make a second season originally? they When they were ordered to make Colra, it was only for one season. yeah That's why it was so rushed. And halfway through season three, they actually ah they didn't like where it was heading. So Nick abruptly told the studio, we're not going to have it on TV anymore. It's going to be online only. And they didn't advertise this on TV. They didn't tell anybody. They put it in like one Facebook post. Yeah. And then that's it. Because they were trying to get the show canceled.
01:16:46
Speaker
But the fans showed up anyway, so they're like, okay, fine, we'll do season four. And and yeah we'll do season four and then they cut and then they cut the budget halfway through season four's production. Yeah. They really wanted to. They really, no, they, yeah. Why? it was a different It was a different animation. it was When Avatar Last Airbender was made, it was by a different... The executives were different people. okay then the core Then when Korra was wanting to be... The Nickelodeon was like, hey, Avatar was good. You want to do a Korra show? But it was a different crew. They didn't really respect the animation.
01:17:21
Speaker
Okay, so there's also other things that you have to see in season four for me to talk about because it is like a major Oh, the last the last Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That was a significant reason why Nickelodeon didn't want the show to continue. Oh, I mean, do you mean Cora and what's her face getting together? Oh, you know, I know. Yeah, it's in the last scene. Yeah, you got that is the first. to The first queer a like animated queer relationship and like an animated kids show. And Nickelodeon didn't want it after. Keep in mind, Steven Universe came after.
01:18:02
Speaker
Yeah, because I i read that like it does happen at the very last scene, but it's not concrete that they're together. And then the comic... No, yeah, it's like, um do you want to go on a vacation with me? And the comics they kiss. In the comic books, it's like concrete they're together now. No, they kiss. oh they they can they they They show the kiss.

Emotional Impact of Films

01:18:21
Speaker
Sloppy toppy each other. ah That's the fan ones. um Yeah, but I did i did see Furiosa, and I rewatched Midsomer last night, and like I had no will to watch it again, because it's hard to watch.
01:18:41
Speaker
um It was easier this time, but it's still... The first 15 minutes of that movie is just... I can't. It's too hard to watch. like Florence Pugh Toni Collette and Ari Aster. They know aastrothals aria Ari Aster knows how to direct people how to cry and make it sound so real and so heart wrenching.
01:19:18
Speaker
It's tough. Yeah. I don't want to watch the movie a third time. I can't. That's fair. Don't worry about it. You have to watch it for I'm not gonna make him too much so much. I think it's my turn next. I think it is your turn and it's for you.

Upcoming Movie Discussions

01:19:33
Speaker
Yeah. you begin to make your own movie So here's what I'm going to do. I have two ideas. Now I know which one you guys want to do. Okay. I'm leaning more towards one, but I'm willing to be a little gracious. So here's the two ones I'm thinking of. Uh, there's madam web. No explanation needed for that one.
01:19:52
Speaker
The other one is a movie a new Netflix movie with mechs called Atlas. That seems to be a lot of Titanfall fans are like, holy shit, this is a little similar. Hey, you want to know something, Hector? What? I saw Atlas. Do you think it's reshoot worthy? Yes. That means we're doing Atlas, baby! e It is so reshoot worthy. Yeah, no, I can't wait. I'm going to I have I have a few ideas. I have I think I will go harder on this fix and probably this last one because I love me some mechs that he does can confirm. Yeah. I watch Gundam. I'm getting a Gundam, but I don't know where to start wing or unicorn. How much Gundam have you seen?
01:20:38
Speaker
wing iron blood orphans the original but not the whole all of it the blazing hand won the tournament one oh you've seen a lot of gun you've seen a lot of gun them then okay i wings wings the best i want to watch i need to finish iron blooded orphans and i want to watch unicorn because apparently gundam unicorns really really really good i heard witch from jupiter or whatever is really yeah that one too the witch one is really good These sure are words. The witch wants the lesbian gundam show. I've heard it's really you. Nice. why and In Iron-Blooded Orphans, there's a guy that has a harem of like 50 wives. Weird. Yeah, I know, right? I don't get it.
01:21:23
Speaker
like
01:21:26
Speaker
It's like hair shit seems fun at first, but then like everyone's gonna get jealous with that many people It just doesn't oh and an iron-blooded orphans is stop. I want to watch it No, I know don't worry first three episodes. You already know how brutal that was Oh, no, I've been told iron-blooded orphans was the brutalists like some of those brutal Gundam of all time. Yeah It is
01:21:49
Speaker
All right. So next time, join us for Atlas. Atlas. another With another Puerto Rican actor. Actress. J.Lo. J.Lo, yeah. She's New Yorkian. Yes. Puerto Rican. Also, if you want if you want to see Luis Guzman, look up his Criterion Closet episode. It's very fun.

Closing Remarks and Credits

01:22:13
Speaker
He's a very he's very like I know like a lot of actors are like yeah we're really you know into art as a craft but like I he's he someone's pic surprised me anyways goodbye uh bye everybody join us next time for atlas goodbye
01:22:37
Speaker
Today's film was Puerto Ricans in Paris, directed by Ian Edelman. The screenplay was written by Ian Edelman and Neil Shaw, and the cinematographer was Damien Acevedo. Go show some love on their various social media platforms. They made a movie, which is more than we can say here. Buckle up, folks. Next time, we're crash landing into Atlas. Bye-bye-bye. Protocol 3, protect the pilot.