Transcript
Speaker: Alright, we ready?
Speaker: We listen and we don't judge. So I didn't actually hate saying? now we're judging. fuck that shit. Fuck.
Speaker: Welcome to reshoot an amateur's guide to go to film! Ah! I am your host the the bunny talking about the other bunny's ass.
Speaker: but
Speaker: Thank you, Ruthie. Some of our intros have been not energetic, and I'm fixing the problem. I'm, uh... Is that why we're not getting any new listeners?
Speaker: Yes, let's say it's that. I am the snail that almost died and had a really good singing voice. I'm Hector. I am Matthew McConaughey's deep, buttery, smooth, sensual, sexy voice.
Speaker: And yet he doesn't sing in the movie. He doesn't sing in the movie, but there is that point in the movie where he's... Like, in the very beginning of the movie, and then when he's, like, super sad, that the McConaughey voice is there.
Speaker: I do catch it a couple of times. Yes. Yeah. was, like, twice. I didn't know he could actually change his voice like that, though. No, he did a really good job. Who knew Bradley Cooper could change his voice to be Rocket Raccoon?
Speaker: Which one's Bradley again? he Bradley Cooper... He's in a bunch of other movies. Yeah, I know. He's Rocket Raccoon. He's not. He's just saying his joke about people.
Speaker: He's in a Limitless movie. He's in this movie i called Mud. I he in Sing. You were fucking with me. Oh, no. no ah Bradley Cooper is Rocket Raccoon in Guardians. Did you guys know that Seth MacFarlane's the jazz singer?
Speaker: Yeah, I saw that Seth MacFarlane was the mouse. And I told you guys this, but Seth being the the mouse, just like fits not not because of that he's saying jazz but him being a mouse fits for some reason in my mind so well no it worked really well huh and he was doing his what is a his italian mob boss voice i think right i i don't i don't watch any seth mcfarland shows i've seen like a few minutes should watch the orville at least
Speaker: Yeah, I hear the Orville's actually really good. hear the Orville's good, yeah. It's like funny Star Trek, and it's amazing.
Speaker: Anyways. Anyways. Today's movie was Sing, directed by i Don't Care.
Speaker: I'm going to annoy you. ah artning Written and directed by Garth Jennings. Garth Jennings, the name sounds familiar. You're probably thinking of Garth...
Speaker: so moography He did the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Oh! Wow, what a... No wonder I don't... I'm not trying to be mean, but like... ah So, whose idea... hear Hear me out, hear me out.
Speaker: Whose idea was to make the fucking gorillas criminals?
Speaker: Yeah! I didn't think about that. Well, and I was thinking of another thing of a very similar vein. Have you noticed that the porcupine only dates a porcupine and the pig is married to another pig and she's partnered up with another pig?
Speaker: There's a little bit of like racial undertone. And the gorillas are all criminals. I don't know. the bears The grizzlies are all criminals as well? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker: and russian mouse is a fucking thief yeah they're sneaky yeah like it's it's really yeah i think zootopia did it better in my opinion by sleep by doing the herbivore carnivore thing aka b stars there By the way, fucked up fun fact of Zootopia. I guess this is not an unfun fact.
Speaker: In the original version of Zootopia, the carnivores were supposed to be wearing shock collars because it's implied that they were still hungry to eat other... animals the the the herbivores i'm glad they got rid of that yeah that yeah it was it was concept i'm guessing it was like the first draft of the story yeah and then but you know because uh b stars has that same thing i kind of want to actually read b stars i don't like the animation yeah she's the daughter of the guy who made baki by the way if you know what baki is it's really it's a really fucked up manga it's a
Speaker: Is Baki the fighting one? with Yeah, one the unnatural but position and want that yes the one that outbizars Jojo, yes. Yeah, ah i saw I saw a calisthenics guy try to do the Baki warm-up positions and like weird flexible stuff.
Speaker: And he was able to do most of them. But some of them were literally impossible. literally impossible ah even even the ones that he was able to do like they weren't quite perfect because it's impossible and then there was there's one where baki's like holding himself up with a thumb and he was able to do that for some reason For like half second, but he was able to do it.
Speaker: That is very impressive. But there there are some that are literally impossible. I need to ask my brother. brother has watched some Baki and he's read some of it. Yeah, you guys watched it when you were in Puerto Rico? We watched like a little, yeah. I didn' watch watched a little bit of Baki as well.
Speaker: And Kenshin Asherah. That's also fucking insane. Isn't that also the same kind of It's the same kind of thing though, it's it? It's the same kind of thing. It is um same kind of it is literally the same thing.
Speaker: yeah
Speaker: This is already off the rails. We don't- Yeah, as good give you guys back like this idea. Yeah, I'm just trying to avoid talking about this movie. i believe i need to assume my responsibility as episode Cesar.
Speaker: um don't know, Hector, feels like haven't gotten towards the right thing. Yeah, we don't do synopsis anymore. Well, it depends on the movie, but this is a pretty popular movie. Also, this is a movie that everyone's seen. You can guess the plot. It's like mainstream schlock.
Speaker: guy Like, this is the most... This is super generic. It's, oh no, the theater's gonna close down. We need to do a singing competition to get the theater...
Speaker: up and running oh no uh conflict this the poster lied about how much money the prize money is so everybody in town wants to be in the same competition he didn't even have a thousand dollars to begin with and that was the prize money yeah 10 000 no was it was thousand and he had like 960 dollars oh right yeah and and that' like nine hundred and sixty dollars oh right yeah and then And then the the fake eyeball yeah hit the zero twice.
Speaker: It bounced perfectly level with the zero once, twice.
Speaker: As someone who's seen his fair share of fake eyeballs, I can believe it. how How many fake eyeballs have you seen? I've watched a lot of Columbo, so like... four.
Speaker: So if that's a case, then I've seen five. I say it was only Columbo.
Speaker: It's just mostly Columbo. Mostly Columbo. And Princess Bride with the same actor, Peter Falk. Oh, right. yeah I didn't know about that at the time, so that doesn't count. So you're you're ahead of me on that one.
Speaker: Woo! Six! I think I've met a few people with, fake eyeba with like, big eyes. So, I don't know. The joke's... Oh, I overdid the joke. Yeah, just stop talking. Jesus Christ.
Speaker: Thank you, Ed. Podcasting. Stop talking. ah talking
Speaker: We're nailing it, guys. Yeah, Hector, please go first. I didn't- Okay, so here's the thing, you guys. As soon as I watched this, I got really, like, busy with schoolwork. And that's not an excuse, I've done it bit worse.
Speaker: But I really didn't care about this movie. I don't remember a single goddamn character's names. Fuck it, we ball. We ball. We're doing it live. We're doing it live. This is my first time. Just see my what I'm doing. yeah This is my first time doing No Plan.
Speaker: Only took me, like, four years. So- What I liked about this movie, the animation, the lighting, don't know what a source dark sorcery illumination does with their computers. They sold all the souls of the animators.
Speaker: No, that's Spider-Verse. That's Spider-Verse. No, that's MAPA. That's MAPA. Yeah. well We're talking movies. like We're talking 3D movies, so Spider-Verse Studios. um No. the The lighting is super good.
Speaker: Like, I don't know how to explain it, but the lighting is amazing.
Speaker: Um... My other likes. I like that we got jazz. I'm surprised. There was one song that he started with, and I can't remember the name, but I recognize the tune.
Speaker: And it bothers me. When he's playing in the subway. was it but Was it the girl from been named with? It was like when he was playing I know the song, but I don't remember it.
Speaker: Exactly. you know And I listened to the lot jazz. It wasn't Autumn Leaves.
Speaker: I don't know. No, no, no, it wasn't Autumn Leaves. I would have sang it. No. ah Anyway, it doesn't matter. That was another thing I liked. They've got some jazz representation. As much as I'm not the biggest fan of Seth MacFarlane's style of stuff, I do like that he's a jazz aficionado.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: I just noticed Ed's username for this episode. Hold on, hold on. Did you see all of it? Yeah, he picked justice for her own pain. It all...
Speaker: Ed, this movie came out in 2016. Oh no. My dick is still out for her own pain.
Speaker: Your band. Circle or circle jerk if I kept going with that dick out. Anyway. I'm sorry. dislikes.
Speaker: Wait, wait, wait. Get your giggles out. Then you can keep going. Dicks out for Harambee. yeah My dislikes.
Speaker: Man, this movie's like... and and like i I don't blame the director. I assume... The writer. like I get it. it's I don't know. I'm sure it was more like Illumination kind of starting to do their whole like little popcorn movie thing. Because, man, they peaked with Despicable Me 1. What about the Lorax?
Speaker: I forget that's them. That one felt like DreamWorks, which they out now own. But, like, that one felt like DreamWorks, so...
Speaker: And the Lorax is kind of carried by Danny DeVito.
Speaker: And Egg Helms. And Egg Helms, yes. But, like, if you don't know the Egg Helms joke, you should watch Auntie Donna's House of Fun on Netflix. Highly recommend it. Starring Egg Helms.
Speaker: sorry At least for like, one episode, but yes. Um... Where was I? oh might watch that soon after this. Um...
Speaker: god you took me out of it but yeah this is like the i feel like the beginning of their slide which i don't know it's don't know they just feel so forgettable yeah they should just stick to you know doing minion minions movies because those are actually funny though like i've seen clips and those are actually like slapstick kind of funny uh oh whenever anyone talks about the minion movies all i can think about is the fact that they had to like figure out how the minions didn't work for whatever Hitler in the 30s and 40s.
Speaker: Wait, what? They had this specific... the minions, according to minion movie lore... They always attract to the most evil thing. But they stopped in the 1930s and the 1940s. They were stuck in an ice cave for 20 years.
Speaker: Because they did... The creators of the minions... Oh, would helped Hitler, Because they would have helped Hitler...
Speaker: they've been around since like near the beginning of time. so they well and Speaking of ice caves... Never mind.
Speaker: But yeah. My dislike. The movie's generic. Like I said, generic. i I don't like any of the songs they picked. Like, almost any of them. I like Elton John.
Speaker: i feel like... i Not Elton John. What was Elton John? Elton John. Not... Oh, yeah, yeah, Elton John. Yeah, I was confused with Billy because they're friends. Billy Joel, and they sing so much. I prefer Billy Joel.
Speaker: I heard Jon Bon Jovi, and that was not even close to what you said. No, no, That's why Yeah. No, I like Elton John. prefer Billy Joel, but I like Elton John. and
Speaker: I'm glad him and Taryn are friends. I don't like that it was used in this movie. don't know why. I just... Any song... in this movie. This was not it.
Speaker: The singers were good. The singers were good.
Speaker: Also, another like, I did like um the koala dude. Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McConaughey and his friend, John C. Reilly. Yeah. That friendship was actually really good. i would have watched an entire movie of that. I do remember those two characters' names. it was Moon and ah Eddie.
Speaker: Yes, Moon and Eddie were good. I would watched an entire movie of them. Yeah, Buster Moon. Of course Matthew McConaughey's character name has a name like fucking Buster. Of course.
Speaker: Yeah. Like Coop. Like Cooper. Okay, I'm done. No, no, no, no. I agree. its They get to give them the same names. I haven't seen True Detective, but I'm sure the name's similar. It's Rusty, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker: Oh my... Yeah, wow, they really do just keep it going. all Alright, alright, alright. ah That was... It's Rustin Cole.
Speaker: Rustin Cole. That's the most Matthew McConaughey name that's not Matthew McConaughey. They just keep giving him more Matthew McConaughey names. it's like it's It's like a game to them.
Speaker: Yeah, it's amazing. But yeah, I don't know what else those seem to dislike. I don't remember a whole lot. it It's kind of sad. ah My fixes.
Speaker: ah I don't
Speaker: The mom was, Ruthie brought it up. Rosita. I'm looking up the name. i yeah She was a really damn good engineer making that contraption to help her husband get out the door and feed her kids shit. Like, genuinely, have been really funny if she just hand by hand rebuilt the entirety of the fucking broken policy art theater.
Speaker: She could have done it. They could have had her just fix up the tank and stuff. Also, do the the squids, what they're lighting up, right? do they Do they get paid or do they just like get told, like yeah, just live here? so If you pay them, what do they do? They can't leave. They no probably get paid. They they got paid because Buster said, like, now hiring squids for lighting.
Speaker: But where do they go? Do they leave? How does that work? They showed a little river that, like, the whales go through. Right, right. into like the They knew people... You're right. They knew people are go to be really weird about, like...
Speaker: A lot of it. So they I'm glad they thought that up. That's another actual like for the movie. But yeah. um I forgot Mina was a thing. which is kind of Until I just saw it now. Which is kind of a shame. Because do like Tori Kelly.
Speaker: On occasion. So that was kind of like.
Speaker: Such a fucking waste of Tori Kelly.
Speaker: I think.
Speaker: would have done outside of... You know when she's dancing at the end and stuff starts falling? The rubble? Yeah, yeah. Should've just hit her. just It's a Seth MacFarlane gag. you just hits her and she just crumples.
Speaker: i don't know why. I just i can't think what to fix with this goddamn movie. You you know what would be really funny? The cops at the end. Okay. Just arrest them all for trespassing.
Speaker: They can't afford the bail people just walked in for free right so like can't afford the bail ah
Speaker: I mean yeah the the bank lady was in the right Yeah, she was it just will be really funny if she's like it said it's a power play like What's the old granny's name? Nana. Nana Noodleman. I do like that name.
Speaker: If she had just like been playing Koi because she lost her chance to buy the theater years ago. a fucking koala. She keeps but cheekki secretly keeps putting ads subliminally telling people not to support the koalas theater funds. Even though it would have been really good.
Speaker: She gets it at the very end and it's just like the dark ending where she's like puts her cane down. Game of Thrones gave my own style. Thrones style.
Speaker: You know? Instead of like a throne for her, it's like swords. It's like a bunch of brass. and That makes no sense. A bunch of dancing shoes. There we go.
Speaker: i don't know. it it just like... this that There was nothing. This movie gave me fucking nothing to really work with.
Speaker: I don't even care about the gorillas. Like... It gets kind of funny, so why are you guys stealing if you can just do all this superhuman shit? just There's so many other jobs.
Speaker: yeah
Speaker: Is that your rant, Hector? i Yeah, I don't know. i don't know where to go with this. said yeah I don't know how you guys this ad lib with no plan. I'm just lost. I'm just going to rant also.
Speaker: Can I join you at certain points too? yeah come yeah do you what Do you want to rant? I already brought this up, but like
Speaker: who if whose bright idea was it to make gorillas criminals? Like, that that's such a... and It is an interesting choice. We're gonna... We're gonna just say interest.
Speaker: Like, I'm sure it was an accident, but like... Yeah, it's probably just a coincidence, but somebody somewhere should have been like... Yo! Yo! Um, this might... This this is questionable.
Speaker: and Especially after, you know, they killed Harambe. um Dicks out. For Harambe. I'm surprised there was no Dicks out scene. Justice for Harambe. Yeah. ah Somebody should have said something. boom and You can tell what demographic probably made up the writer's room.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: There was only one writer as far as I can see. yeah whoo um Also, yeah, I do I didn't it didn't click in my mind, Ruthie, but I do recognize it now that like, you know, porcupine was the porcupine, pig pigs, the pigs, mouse, mouse, all that shit going on.
Speaker: There's some weird implications when you start looking at the ah socioeconomic situations with some of these animals. Yo, the wolf and the sheep and bee stars, do they get together?
Speaker: no it's a it's the wolf and the rabbit. It's the rabbi wolf and the rabbit. that they're like i don't I don't know if they're together together, but like he does like her. I think they get together. ah yeah What do the kids look like?
Speaker: It does- We don't have to think about that because Zootopia does it fine. Anyways. Zootopia doesn't have any interspecies either, though. Well- There is that cursed comic.
Speaker: There is- There is that cursed comic. We'll bring up the cursed comic. Oh, god. Yeah. No more. And you don't know I'm on about, right? He knows what you're on I think so. I'm not though. Afterwards. Afterwards.
Speaker: Yeah. Um, yeah, there's there's some weird stuff going on with that. Uh, and- Like-
Speaker: We're the wrong podcast. me i'm just I'm just... ah I'm also extremely confused on who the target demographic is for this movie.
Speaker: Six-year-olds. but But why? why why do you why does Why do you say that? why does it think Why do you think this is for kids?
Speaker: There's nothing in this movie that makes me think it was geared towards kids. We were talking about this a little bit before we started recording. Here's the thing. I feel like it's overly sanitized to the point where it's supposed to be attractive hypothetically to any age group, any demographic, but it's to the point where it kind of loses character.
Speaker: You know? Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, because yeah like I said also before started recording, at least How to Train Your Dragon has like those jokes that are geared towards adults to keep the adults a little bit entertained that the kids won't understand.
Speaker: this had none of that zero of it i was i was watching the movie waiting for one of these jokes to happen just like okay please at least one of them and not never never did that joke happen yeah like the the most risque jokes were like kids bot versions of some songs during the audition yeah and and how And then the pigs did the performance, they fucking ruined the song that they did.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. The Katy Perry song? Yeah. I never liked that song. I didn't think they could make it worse. yeah yeah think shake it off i never liked that song i didn't think they could i know and then they ruined it by just like you know Oh, yeah. electronic And I'm like, bro, the song was fine by itself. Yeah. I wasn't a big fan of that song, so I was like i was just more like, wow, I didn't think we could hit lower. I'm not trying to... Who writes that song?
Speaker: That's Taylor Swift. Oh, fuck. I fucked us up. Okay. Yeah, it's Taylor Swift, bro. Fuck. No, not... I i didn't know who it was. I just never liked the song. Yeah. My taste is really out there and esoteric, so forgive me, everyone. It's just so fucking...
Speaker: dumb i hated everything about it and like the side the side plot with the mouse stupid as fuck uh mini didn't really have a plot outside of the theater um mini the the elephant girl mina nina nina nina who's mini i don't know oh mo Oh, shit. Now Disney's coming after us.
Speaker: And then and then, OK, another another really questionable thing is like the pig stays in a toxic relationship. Not the pig. The pig lady stays in a toxic relationship with her um unattentive husband.
Speaker: Unparticipating husband. I don't think it was unattentive. I think he's hear me out he he literally doesn't even have to be there.
Speaker: she's She's carrying all the mental load. no no i think she's carrying all She's carrying all the mental and physical load. What the fuck are you talking about? No, I want you to hear me out. i No, I'm not. Because it's toxic as fuck and they stay together, which is bullshit. I think... Should've gone with that flamboyant pig. They could've... Oh my... No, they would not work. I think it would've been...
Speaker: I think it's ah it's just a bad communication, and I think it's just they just need to talk it out, work it out in therapy. I think it can be salvaged. So Hector's fix is, ah the movie Sing is just Rosita and her husband. No, that's the C-plot.
Speaker: That we spend, like, way too much time in. And it gets way too real, and all the kids are Mommy, and it is And it's stupid that like her, her doing a performance is like kind of like turns them around a little bit. And I'm just like, yeah, no, that part was dumb. Yeah. fuck It's stupid. And it's stupid fucking thing to show the little girls. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker: No, no. I, okay. i see your point. No. Yeah.
Speaker: That was my issue with fucking... just showed him trying a little bit and then not feeling like this is tired from work. Yeah, of her putting herself out there and doing something that she likes is what turns him around. yeah.
Speaker: And then that's that that was also my big issue with fucking Star Wars sequels. Rey should have had nothing parents because, you know, it shows all the little girls who can come from nothing and become a Jedi. Instead, she's a fucking Palpatine.
Speaker: And it just shows everyone, oh, you need some kind of parentage. And I fucking hate that fucking shit. So fucking toxic. oh and That was Ed's feminist corner.
Speaker: but
Speaker: I don't know if that was making fun of me or something, but... No, no, no, no, no. no no no It just... It really triggers me. that This whole parentage shit really fucking triggers me all the time.
Speaker: i was so tired of even thinking about it. and That's why Anakin worked. I mean, he's space Jesus, but you know... ah i thought you were talking about the fucking movie! And how they handled the mom and dad po thing! No! I'm still repeating on Star Wars.
Speaker: that's how anakin worked he's space jesus he was a slave you know who was pay jesus the german one the the flamboyant one gunter gunter yes yeah whatever i don't care movie's ass no there were no donkeys ed They should have made an ass joke. It was right there. Again, now they can. DreamWorks is owned by them. They can get some of that edgy writing in, but they're not.
Speaker: Are you guys going to watch the live action How to Train Your Dragon? No, of course not. It's just an advertisement for the fucking theme park edition they're adding. I know, but i I love How to Train Your Dragon. Me too. And Night 3 looks exactly the same and I love it. Yeah, because it's still animated. They can't hire dragons.
Speaker: I know, but I'm saying they could have like made him look more like dragon-y, realistic, like reptile, but he looks exactly the fucking same, just like higher definition scales. It's almost like they had the fucking rig up and ready, and they just updated it. It's not so... I know, but I'm just saying, usually with live-action stuff, they like do stuff like fucking Lion King.
Speaker: Anywho, and... Hyporealistic, no facial expressions, terrible. What? How would you fix the movie Sing? ah Focus the plot on the monkey.
Speaker: On Taranagan's character. i mean maybe Maybe make not the gorillas criminals. Okay. Maybe make it so his dad is in jail for like, I don't know.
Speaker: Fucking up... What? Tax evasion. tax of Yeah, i' like that's how where I was thinking. Like, some kind of, like, mistaken fraud. He did an honest mistake, but if you do an honest mistake on your taxes, you go to jail sometimes.
Speaker: I knew a dude who was too nice. He did a really bad mistake on his taxes. He owed, like... I think it took him, like, a year or two to pay it off. Oh, bud! You know, here's the thing, though. He didn't get arrested. I'm surprised didn't get arrested.
Speaker: I think part of the reason is that... they realized, like, okay, yeah, that was an honest... I think they talked to him, it was like, oh, that was an honest mistake. Okay. Just let him go. don't know. The gorillas... Yeah, I would have focused the plot on somebody. Maybe Terran Edgerton's character, the gorilla kid, and show, like, his struggles with, like, mom being absent and dad in prison kind of stuff.
Speaker: You know what would be interesting? An entire movie just off of Seth MacFarlane's character... We've already watched The Penguin, dude. What more do we need? you're right.
Speaker: Yeah, that that's my fix. I don't know what to do with it, but Jesus fucking Christ, focus the plot a little bit.
Speaker: because because what they they had the main plot with the moon and the lizard lady they had ah the b plot with tarran edgerton's character then there was the c plot with the pig the d plot with mina and then the e plot with the mouse i feel no and there i feel like mina's the f plot the d plot is scarlett johansson's porcupine character oh yeah i forgot about her not about because she's forgettable as fuck That was ScarJo too. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker: Yeah, Ruthie's good with voices. I got ScarJo. I'm like, is it? Oh yeah. I just saw Transformers 1. I should know this. Weirdly enough, she sounds most like herself when she's singing. Was it actually her singing? i think What? No. She sounds most like herself in the movie Her.
Speaker: No, no, no, no. In the movie. in In the movie she sounds more like ScarJo when she's singing. I pick up her voice. I mean, I guess she does a voice for the porcupine, I guess. Yeah.
Speaker: yeah I feel like we should I feel like she sounds a lot like herself when it's Transformers 1. Yeah. Ed, need to see Transformers 1. Transformers 1 is really good.
Speaker: She doesn't even like Transformers, Ed. I watched the Michael Bay movies. Yeah. I heard it's good. I heard Companion's really good. The the one with the Jack Quaid from the boys. Huey from the boys.
Speaker: Companion? Howie. No, which one's Companion? Oh, you know't you haven't seen a trailer for the movie Companion? Oh, that one. There's two Jack Quaid movies coming out. There's that one, the one where he doesn't feel pain, he's trying to rescue his kidnapped girlfriend. Yeah, the one Sippa.
Speaker: We're gonna Sippa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one looks fun. That one looks really fun. It's...
Speaker: Companion is apparently really good horror. or just like It's the dude in Barbarian, isn't it? It's the dude Barbarian, isn't it? Ah, yes. Correct. Yeah. Barbarian was fucking wild. I need to see Barbarian. Barbarian is so wild.
Speaker: It switches it' so just characters like halfway through to ah Justin Long. Stop! I want to see the movie, ad Do you know who Justin Long is, though? Yeah, I think I do. Yes, let's know more. in Tusk.
Speaker: Stop! You should also watch Tusk. What are you to You she not watch Tusk. Ed, what are you going to spoil from Tusk?
Speaker: Walrus. Walrus.
Speaker: That's all I'm going to say. got more Invincible spoilers. Keep going. what Keep going. I got more Invincible spoilers for everyone you spoil. I'm done.
Speaker: The nuclear deterrent. Wait, when does Invincible's next week, right? This Thursday. oh ah
Speaker: Thursday or Friday, yeah, it's this week, and it's like three episodes to start. Yeah, I know. meet Me and Leva are gonna be watching that. And it's Thursday release? Thursday or Friday, can't remember. Three fucking days?
Speaker: Okay, anything else you want to fix?
Speaker: No. Movie's ass. Lol. Um, yeah, I guess that means it's me. Uh, what did I like about this movie? I liked the gag with the buffalo guy almost killing the snail. The farting was a little overdone, but, you know, whatever.
Speaker: Um, I kind of like the movie- I don't know. It's schlock. I turn my brain off. It makes joke sometimes. I laugh sometimes. I still laugh at fart jokes. I shouldn't be. I can't. I can't.
Speaker: No, but it the three rule. It didn't just fail the three rule. It broke the three rule. Not a good way. Yeah. um I liked Taran Egerton. I'm Still Standing. That was a pretty good cover.
Speaker: I liked his storyline a lot.
Speaker: Yeah. Something that I notice about this movie, watching it this time around that neither of you guys have brought up, there's like no pauses.
Speaker: There's like no 30 seconds of no noise. That's a thing with, uh... Illumination. Illumination. late And in fact, a lot of the songs that they use in this movie, it feels like they're just using like 30 second clips.
Speaker: So they don't have to pay royalties.
Speaker: like Holy shit. How many songs do they finish? ah They finish most of the songs that at the event. That's the point though. At the end of the movie.
Speaker: The audition. ah The car wash scene. a lot of the like filler music. They're only doing 30 second stings. For lack of a better word.
Speaker: Correct. 30 second clips. Yeah. They're clip chimping. That's not what that means. But what is clip chimping? Okay.
Speaker: i What clip chimping actually is, is clipping somebody just out of context to make them sound really bad. Oh, like like when like how they clipchimp Hassan Piker like all the fucking time?
Speaker: Yes. With his wild takes? Their wild takes in the clip, their good takes in in context. Yeah, so like if your least favorite straight streamer started talking about vinegar and you clip it at the right time- Oh, that was that that was a Bo Burnham joke.
Speaker: Yes. Okay, so that's what clipchimping is. Yeah. Lipchimp. Yeah, it just felt like they were doing that to avoid paying all the royalties for all the music that they were using. Yeah.
Speaker: yeah I already talked about the weird race implications. Well, when Hector and I were watching it, I made a joke because there's like a part where ah Nick Offerman says piggy power.
Speaker: Wait, Nick Offerman? Isn't he Rosita's husband? Yeah. No, it was Gunter. Gunter says piggy power. And then I leaned in and I said, piggy means white. If you've seen 30 Rock with the wuggles.
Speaker: Wuggles. Woggles. You'll know the joke. Wuggle power! Wuggle means white.
Speaker: Dirty Rock is a very unpainted comedy show. Yeah, it is. People spend a lot of money for a five-second gag, and it's worth it. it's it's oh It's such a wild show. it It deals with moral quandaries, like, should this actress, Yoko Ono, ah a children's band that is secretly a white supremacist movie? Yoko Ono being used as a verb?
Speaker: Yes. It was on her bucket list. Did she start screeching into the mic? It was the equivalent of that. Yeah, it was really... No, that's not what Yoko Ono-ing means. Oh, right. Yeah, no. What?
Speaker: She's trying to break up the band with her punani. Oh, God.
Speaker: It's a wild show. is a Yoko Ono-ing. that is that is a yogao And also screeching into the mic. um And then screeching into any available mic. She's an actually good singer though, so i never did that joke. Yeah.
Speaker: Because she's an actually good singer. Yeah. No, no, no, no. The show. The show. In 30 Rock, Jenna would never like screech because... She wants to be a good singer. She just wants to break up a band.
Speaker: Okay. ah But I also love i also love the the the cold open. I think it's a cold open for... no, that's Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Never mind. which Which one? Tell me why.
Speaker: me why. Ain't nothing but funny. Now number five. And she's like, it's number three. Number three killed my brother. shit, I forgot what we were doing here. I forgot about that part.
Speaker: They actually brought it back one last time. Oh, they did? It was a funny gag. It was like, yeah, somebody just had to let things go. It's never the same. And then they he tried to do it and it was just worse in every way. It was actually really funny.
Speaker: It was like three seasons later too. All right. Sorry. see um Yeah, that was hell of a tangent from making making fun of racists.
Speaker: ah ah
Speaker: Let me see. Are there any other notable dislikes I had in the movie?
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know. So here's how I'm going to fix the movie. Um... So the movie is set in, like, fantasy Hollywood, right?
Speaker: Just like an archicats. Fantasy LA, yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to move it. It's not in fantasy LA big city anymore. It's going to be a little small town.
Speaker: um Instead of being a singing singing competition for a music theater, it's a singing competition for a community center. Basically what I'm gonna do is make it Hallmark and make it a little bit more inter- the lives of these characters a little bit more interconnected.
Speaker: So they actually probably all know each other yes before. Okay. Ruthie? Yes? If you were pitching this movie and you said make it Hallmark? yeah Instant. Yeah, instant just like get out of my face.
Speaker: Hear me out. Hot frosty it though. You got a hot frosty it. We do need to hot frosty it. Okay. You got a little horniness in there. Just a little bit. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's more perfect animals.
Speaker: It's easy. It makes it, it writes itself. The car washing. We'll keep the car washing for the horny. that That scene was actually funny. should have put that my life. That scene was actually funny. That was funny.
Speaker: skipped through that scene. I could not. You missed out. I could not. I couldn't.
Speaker: ed Ed can watch so much horror, so much like really bad stuff. He draws a line at Antimor. A koala in a Speedo. In a Speedo. come Car washing.
Speaker: Anywho, so Mina and ah with Scarlet's character's name, the porcupine. Minnie? Watch it be Minnie. Who the fuck is Minnie?
Speaker: Mina. Mina's the elephant and Ash. The two of them are like best friends. I'm gonna get rid of the boyfriend shit. Um... Ash and Johnny both graduated in the same year.
Speaker: ah Rosita's husband is Johnny's dad's accountant. I'm gonna make Johnny so still a part of this crime syndicate, but it's a joint with the bears.
Speaker: And also, um Mike the mouse is also like kind of a part of the gang. He's kind of like the the penguin figure where he's kind of- Sometimes he's helping, sometimes he's not. um Imagine this a little mouse with a weird hobble.
Speaker: ah Mina and Ash babysit for Rosita. And let me see. Buster is actually the adopted grandson of Nana Noodleman.
Speaker: Okay. And I am going to keep Gunther. Gunther is... Wait, what about John C. Reilly's character? Oh, ah he's just best friends and cousins with Buster. I was thinking about merging them, but no, you convinced me I'll keep the two of them.
Speaker: Their friendship's actually good. Yeah, their friendship is actually good. um
Speaker: Oh yeah, Gunther is either going to be Rosita's best friend who's gay or he's going to be like her brother or cousin. Again, like kind of like a familial thing.
Speaker: And ah yeah, it's saving the community theater so the same thing happens where ah they the prize money is like $1,000 and then the eyeball jumps on the keyboard and it's $100,000.
Speaker: The auditions happen. Somehow Mike or Johnny finds out about the $100,000. So the bears and the gorillas in their crime gang decide that they're going to heist to steal the money.
Speaker: And ah Johnny's dad thinks so places Johnny as a plant to go to the audition so that he can be the distraction while they're stealing the money.
Speaker: Like, he's kind of being supportive. That's actually... Like, I'm not saying... I'm not saying, like, oh, it's actually good because, like, your skills are as good. But, like, you really improved on this movie already. holy shit.
Speaker: Rosita happens to go to the audition. She wanted to go, but like Ash and Mina are already there. And she's just like, you know what? Screw this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it.
Speaker: And she does it. I don't know. Maybe she's bringing all of her kids along and it scares Buster. Cause he's like, Oh God, is there, is this a children's choir? Yeah. um Mike joins halfway through the singing competition because ah he can tell that Johnny's head is not in the game for the heist.
Speaker: Let me see Maybe include the snail. i liked the snail.
Speaker: Let me see. ah Mike still fucks everything up with the heist. Johnny's dad gets arrested.
Speaker: And yeah, honestly, it's mostly just fixing up the first half. Yeah, yeah, no, that's the worst part of it, so ah good job. Yeah.
Speaker: Because the first half's the weakest half of the movie.
Speaker: what do What do you think, Ed? Did I fix my pitch?
Speaker: i thought I literally tuned out when you said make it Hallmark. L'Omell.
Speaker: No, it was okay. It was fine. It's better than bullshit we got. i yeah I think. I don't know. You can't... like The whole foundation is fucking just steaming pile of filth. So you can't really build much on that.
Speaker: What's it my turn so I can pick Sing 2 and make Ed feel it too? worse I think now it's Ed's turn. Oh, damn it. Ed, pick Sing 2. Yeah, because it's it's been like four weeks or for four episodes since I've had my pick because i yeah I had to make two picks in a row because it all didn't want fucking Apocalypse. um Shit. worth it i I have not been... I mean...
Speaker: Where are writing this movie? I think it's an oh this is like F. D minus. F. I don't know. i want my I want to save my F's for the real stinkers. Fair enough. Yeah, D minus.
Speaker: Minus.
Speaker: ah Fine. D minus. um So. What I could do. What you could do. Is I could pick Kraven the Hunter. There's no way can watch it right now.
Speaker: There's nowhere to watch it right now? Nothing, no. don't think so. I think it's on Amazon, dude. I don't want to pay Amazon. Oh, there is nowhere to watch it right now. If you want to save- Oh, shit!
Speaker: What?
Speaker: This has a 22% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, it's the lowest one out of all of them. No, I'm not talking about- about ah Craven's lower at 16 on Rotten Tomatoes. I'm not talking about Craven.
Speaker: Talk about the crow. The crow. I haven't seen the original. Guess we're going to have to watch two movies just to I mean, you can, you don't need to watch the original. Yeah, but it's like when you watched, uh, it's like when you watched, uh, the newer point break before you saw the original, it just kind of, eh.
Speaker: Yeah. um Well, the original has an 87%. I think we can just watch the crow. Oh yeah, we watch The Crow. and then i can It'll get me to watch The Crow.
Speaker: Because I wanted to watch it, but like... Let me let me you see. or Or I could pick Fant4Stick.
Speaker: I'll do The Crow.
Speaker: We can save Fant4Stick for the release of... You know what actually would be... I mean, I kind of watched The Crow because I haven't seen it, but I could pick Boy Kill's World because...
Speaker: That's just the worst monkey man. It's good. It's good. It's good. Yeah, but it it can be better. It can be better. Do you want? Okay, you pick. Boy Meets World. How bloody is... wanted to watch Boy Meets World. Okay, so yeah, we can do Boy Meets World. Meets is R. Boy Kills World.
Speaker: Boy Kills World is r Okay. I wanted to watch Boy Kill World. Okay, so we can do Boy Kill World or The Crow. Here's why I'm saying we shouldn't do Fant4Stick. No, I'm not picking Fant4Stick. I'm not sitting through that again. like Let me finish.
Speaker: We can save that one for when the Fantastic Four comes to the MCU.
Speaker: We get synergy there. I'm surprised you're not picking Emilia Perez. It's right there. wed need We'd have to find someone. Yeah. Yeah, but ah I was thinking about it, and yeah, but we have to find someone for that, at least.
Speaker: And then we could also do Tangerine with with them, too, is the thing. Because apparently Tangerine's a better trans film than Mili Perez. But that's a good not Tangerine. Is it Tangerine? I think it's Tangerine. If it's Tangerine, though, it's a good film.
Speaker: But I don't know. We should do... For for the for the views...
Speaker: We should do something that's nominated.
Speaker: um so How is Flow nominated for Best International Feature Film? Holy shit. So Conclave is good. Dune Part 2 is the best movie of 2024. No, no, Ed.
Speaker: Flow is nominated for an international feature film. Not animated. It's an animated film about a bunch of animals surviving a flood. Obviously we should do Wolves and Granite, Vengeance and Spout.
Speaker: The cat's adorable! Watch the movie, it's really good! it is the most calming and stressful movie. It's amazing, it. So, uh, Anora's apparently ah incredible.
Speaker: Complete Unknown seems fine. Conclave is good. Dune Part 2 is the best movie of 2024. Emily Paris seems stupid. Nickel Boys seems... I'm Still Here is good. Nickel Boys... after good Nickel Boys... It's about racism, I think. I think we shouldn't do that one.
Speaker: The Substance and Wicked. Substance is insane and Wicked is fine. Wicked's amazing! It's fine. I'm glad he got the nod. It is so just okay, okay? How is Emilia Perez nominated for original score? Ten. It's only for like ten. It has the most nominations out in the international film ever. Oh no, it's not original song. It's original score. Okay.
Speaker: ah They do have songs. They do have a song. They do have a song nominated. They do. They do. um They have El Mal and Mi Camino. They have two songs nominated. Yo, Memoir of a Snail made Oh, shit.
Speaker: I want to see Memoir of a Snail. It's Australian. So, um like, the only one that, shit, the only one that's, like, probably ass, like, nominated is Emilia Perez, which sucks.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, that's fine. um let's Let's wait a little bit here. What have we been... Anything? Any media?
Speaker: ah The Midnight Club is very, very fucking good. I started watching Ghosts. Ghosts? It's a show on... it's a It started out as a BBC sitcom, and now on Paramount. Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. Like, the lady who lives with ghosts, and they're all friendly ghosts, right? Well, so yeah, so the the premise is, in the first episode, ah the main character the main couple, they move into this lady's great-aunt's house, the great aunt just died and the main character lady, Sam, she has ah near an accident, nearly dies and then suddenly she's able to see ghosts and the house is haunted by like okay, there's the and in the US s version it's a Viking, a revolutionary soldier, a Native American ah nineteen twenty s jazz singer lady
Speaker: ah eighteen hundreds kind of industrialist lady Boy Scout who got, uh, sorry, not Boy Scout, uh, troop leader who got shot in the arrow in the neck, and a yuppie.
Speaker: Like a 90s yuppie. Patrick Bateman. But without the sociopath. That's the quintessential yuppie. Yeah. But we without the murderer. And, uh, it's just ghost shenanigans.
Speaker: And ah keep in mind, the the wife is the only one who's able to see the ghosts. So with the husband, every scene, he's just like, what? ah But they make it funny. It's not like Hope King, where it's the same joke.
Speaker: Beat for beat. Biggest disappointment of that year, i swear. Yeah. I'm not going to be an Ed and repeat the story for the fourth time. so
Speaker: Shots fired. Ed, do you have anything? um with That was one for you, right? That was one for me. Ed went first. Oh, my first one is... I started watching... i think it's... Let look it up on Netflix. I think it's called Detroiters. it's a It's a Tim Robinson show. I've never understood the humor. If you guys know Shore, friend the podcast, he's a big Tim Robinson fan.
Speaker: I saw this show. like I'm like, I might well try it. was having a bad day. And Jesus Christ, it's actually funny. I actually get the humor now. That show's like the gateway. It's like a low-key... It's like, I think you should leave, but not as wild from the start.
Speaker: It's pretty good. I'm like three episodes in. I'm like, this is amazing. I'm going be sacked because it's only 20 episodes total. Alright, Ed, what's your second one? Second media? Yeah.
Speaker: Marvel Rivals is a fun game. that is so much fun. Oh, um, did did we already say Peaky Blinders in in another episode? I don't know if I did, but you can say it. You finished the season if you want to that for your second. Yeah, we finished the first season of Peaky Blinders.
Speaker: Shit's good.
Speaker: I made incident last week. I finally beat Nine Souls. Ed was there listening to me as I finally beat him, and then I left the call because I was getting emotional at the end. But yeah, no. i was like I was like, oh, shit.
Speaker: Because you guys were talking about whatever. I'm like, no, no, no, no. The ending. The ending. i i It took me like four or five hours all together. No, five or six. Four or five. All together just beat the final boss because I did the t true ending, which was three phases.
Speaker: And holy shit, it was so good. I've never had a Metroidvania with a story that captivates me like that.
Speaker: It's really good. It's very unique. N-I-N space S-O-L-S. it It's really good. Highly recommend I'm going to keep bugging Ed until he finally plays it.
Speaker: Yes. I'll probably get it at some point. And then he won't play it for three years like Hollow Knight. Then I finally played it and it's really good. and Yeah. And I beat a boss that you didn't beat. Yes. I know where you live, Ed.
Speaker: So... Alright. Join us next time as we figure out what the hell we're watching.
Speaker: Join us next time for The Crow. Alright. The remake. The 2024, 23 one? four three time four twenty four I think half the cast of that was in Nosferatu, so they got a redemption arc at least.
Speaker: You must bounce on it. Crazy style. What the fuck is that? Oh, somebody made a TikTok and it was like Nosferatu hitting up Helen in the middle of the night.
Speaker: ah You must bounce on its crazy style. What is it? His dick? On his dick. Okay. Yeah,
Speaker: do it for the next time for the crow. Bye. Bye. Bye. bye faith
