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X-Men: Apocalypse
37 Plays10 months ago
While the ReShoot crew may disagree on many things, Oscar Isaac is not one of them. Join us as we unravel the mess that is X-Men Apocalypse.
We do not, nor do we claim to, own the rights to this film in any way, shape, or form.
TW: Death, genocide, Holocaust, discrimination, trauma,
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Copyright Struggles
00:00:00
Speaker
to me my resho
00:00:04
Speaker
da da da da dadada your clothes i wasn't adding when you did
00:00:13
Speaker
Listen, I'm doing more considering copyright struggle. This is a podcast. Nobody does copyright. surprised. But Bim Bam did not get copyrighted for ah any of their bullshit until they started doing their TV show when they had to be conscious of it. Okay, fair enough. All
Meet the Hosts: Hector and Ruthie
00:00:43
Speaker
right. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Reshoot, an answer's guide to good or film, where we take movies that people like, dislike somewhere in between, and we just make them objectively better. Objectively better. Always. I'm one of your hosts, the Blob, aka Hector. I am another one of your hosts. Whoo, I'm about to make it in for myself.
00:01:05
Speaker
God damn it. I wish I thought of that. No, but then I wouldn't have had one. When you asked if I had a fake name, that was immediately what i what popped into my head. I needed it. That was so good, Ruthie. Thank you. You win today. I i know one thing, but I shot out my dad's dick ready. He was all up in my I can't remember the whole line. I don't remember what he said, but he was like, I just shot up in my momma. He was like, what's up, doc? Yeah, that was it.
00:01:35
Speaker
Is that you is that your intro at your name ed? I'm the Phoenix
X-Men: Apocalypse - The Beginning of the End?
00:01:39
Speaker
force. Okay to the Phoenix force All right, and today we're talking about X-Men apocalypse the beginning of the end of Fucking X-Men franchise the Fox X-Men franchise I have to specify. Yeah, this shit was kind of really ah oh Okay, just like follow me here you go from like I Do you want to start us off? First class. Wait, whose episode says that? Is it Ed? It's Ed. It's me. But the thing is, I wanted to i wanted to pick Dark Phoenix. But yeah we hadn't seen Apocalypse. So like that's the thing. we Are we just going to watch Dark Phoenix after this? I was going to say Dark Phoenix after this for my pick. Well, no, no. we we What we can do is we can do Dark Phoenix because that was my original pick. And then we just skip my next on the round. We skip my pick. Are you sure? Yeah. that's
00:02:33
Speaker
Fair. Okay. I used to get my pick because this is two movies, basically. Okay. Yeah, this is a two parter.
Critique and Praise for X-Men Reboot
00:02:39
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But like you start. We started this reboot franchise. We started with. With first class week. Yeah, first class. Amazing. And then these a future pass, which was also just really good. So good. I'm not going to lie. Brian Singer being charged with those movies kind of taints him a little in my mind.
00:03:02
Speaker
and Separate the art from the artist. It's real bad. And then, and then we get this. I was excited for this. I was excited for Apocalypse. Especially because Oscar Isaac like specifically wanted to be Apocalypse. Yeah, because there's so many movie stars that are like relatively the younger are like huge nerds now.
00:03:30
Speaker
Isn't he in his 40s? What? Isn't he in his 40s? He was in his 30s when he did this one, I think. He's relatively younger than like, you know, like Brad and Matt and George Clooney. Ruthie was some of our history with that one, our history teacher in high school. He was a big nerd. He knew as much about, like, I think the X-Men as I did. Not Matt.
Oscar Isaac and Nerdy Actors
00:03:53
Speaker
Not Matt Damon or Leo.
00:03:56
Speaker
Leo's old. she's also ah He's also a bit of a nerd, supposedly. Yeah, but he doesn't act on those nerd tendencies. Yeah, but that's what not that's what stops him from being lovable, that and the dating 19 year olds allegedly. Anything older than 25 for him is disgusting. Apocalypse and Oscar Isaac possibly being a nerd because I think I do remember hearing that he liked Apocalypse as a villain when he learned about him.
Anticipation for X-Men: Apocalypse
00:04:24
Speaker
Yeah, and it's kind of bad. And it was I was so excited because I'm like, ooh, more Magneto, more Jean Grey's in this one, Cyclops.
00:04:39
Speaker
They gave my boy Cyclops nothing to do. I was excited for this movie. Same. the the like They bring back Havoc and then Merkham immediately also.
00:04:54
Speaker
Well, we can't have one another one of these guys. Yeah. Yeah, basically. Oh, man. Yeah. But like, where's where's where's Banchi? Where's where's. What's the other like first? I never liked Psylocke. I'll be honest. This is my big like, yeah, she she's such a boring character. Yeah, she's. Yeah, she is. She's she's a nothing. She's she's a little cooler in the comics. She doesn't she doesn't pass the Lampella Anderson test.
00:05:24
Speaker
yeah Do you want to remind the audience what that is? it's It's based on somebody else's lamp test. It's the lampshade test. So there's the Bechdel test, which ah two women have to be on screen talking to each other and not talking about a man.
Does the Film Pass the Bechdel Test?
00:05:40
Speaker
I think this movie barely passes.
00:05:46
Speaker
With who? Jennifer Lawrence and Sansa. There's a moment where the two of them are talking. crazy ging gray i'm trying to remember the act No, you're fine. yeah right You're fine. listening Mystique and Jean Grey are talking and Jean's like, I admire you. I think you're really cool because you saved the president that one time. Were you scared? And ah Mystique is like, no, I wasn't scared. I did it all by myself. Also, Charles and Magneto were there too, I guess.
00:06:16
Speaker
That's that part technically breaks. That breaks the Bechdel test. Then there's the lampshade test, which is a level down from the Bechdel test. It's the parameters are even worse. It's if you have a female character, does she do anything to the plot? That a lampshade that a lamp could not do. I want to see. so I want to see cyclops for the lamp now. If you replace a female character with a lamp, does the plot change yeah basically?
00:06:47
Speaker
But yeah, Psylocke, she could be a lamp and nothing would change. I mean, I'll say the fighting, that's yeah. Yeah, I felt like a lot like her. She was the she and Archangel were the weakest of the disciples, which is a fan of Archangel is a not big fan, but a little van is a shame because he has such a good arc and they didn't even fucking touch on it.
00:07:14
Speaker
I feel like that was the issue, though. It was that there were so many different threads that they were throwing at you. You gotta be slower with your X-Men films. Sorry to interrupt deal you. No, you're good. But just like, you gotta be
Omega Level Mutants Discussion
00:07:24
Speaker
slower. There's so much history. It's a fucking stew in there. You gotta let marinate.
00:07:29
Speaker
When you have two Omega level mutants already, like it doesn't like you're gonna look bad against Storm and Magneto. Three, technically, if you count Wolverine, if we're counting by Deadpool, three. No, but I'm saying Apokolos had two Omega level mutants with him. Magneto and Storm. And then you you put you get Archangel and Psylocke, and you're just like, ah we don't compare to these two. But that could have been fine, though, if he just shot their fights differently.
00:07:59
Speaker
I'll go over that later. Anyway, how are we gonna do this? Episode says direct us, guide us. um When was the last time I went first? Like a long, I don't even remember, so go for it. That'd probably be a good sign. First first things first.
00:08:17
Speaker
this isn't like a like or dislike which is an observation why is it that every single like depiction of ancient egyptians third they all have shaved heads oh uh that is because in egyptian culture it they did shape their heads a lot it's hot it's hot oh it's hot for them well no no no like temperature wise you get something on your on your on your scalp then But here's what they like to do to cool their heads down. They used to like place lumps of animal fat on their head and then let it kind of melt. And that would be like half sunscreen, half cooling. I'm not shitting you. Where did you learn this? I had an Egypt phase as a child. Okay, that's fair. I forgot that. Egyptians did some weird stuff. Didn't they have like weird contraceptive plant also? It wasn't just weird. That's not the contraceptive plant. That's the Romans. No, they would stick down up there.
00:09:17
Speaker
The what? Oh, right. um Yes. sir But it was it was like the well, first they would it was like ah of a seed or hollowed out fruit or something. And then they put dung on there and then stick it up there. Yeah. Yeah. Because otherwise you'd get an infection. Yeah. Yeah. Egypt
Historical Egyptian Fashion Tangent
00:09:38
Speaker
facts. Whoo.
00:09:42
Speaker
Well, the only part about the episode, the contraception part. Yeah.
00:09:50
Speaker
Look, if you're if you're listening to us, you already are you're already a virgin and you're not, like you're you're you're not gonna have sex, dude. like you're You're fine, you're about one of us. You're one of us. um Yeah, I didn't know that that was like, I mean, yeah, I understood. It was probably a good idea to do that. Since it's so hot in the desert, choose you chose to live there. ah But like I don't know, some of them had hair, I'm sure, 100%.
00:10:20
Speaker
Yeah, but like the the the bald Egyptian is definitely like iconic for me It's weird that they're not black because it's implied that this was like in Egypt in its prime Mm-hmm, which they would be more darker skin i black. Yeah, they'll be darker skinned for sure But yeah, that there was it pick this weird Skin shade for Egyptians also. That's like yeah kind of brown but not really Yeah, so first things first. Yeah weird weird Egypt cast choice secondly um Eric Michael Fassbender Magneto is living in Poland
00:11:01
Speaker
And the car he drives, the driver seat is is on the left side. I'm pretty sure Poland still drives on the right or on the left. Almost all countries drive the way that we drive. It's mostly countries that were colonized by England that keep to their driving structure.
00:11:25
Speaker
Most, what? i thought I sort of got most countries driving the line. UK, Australia, New Zealand. Spain. Oh, Spain's on the wrong side. Spain's on the left side. Yeah, I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure most of Europe is left side. Yeah, all of all of Europe except for like the UK. Oh. Yeah. Most countries in the world except for like the the ones that I mentioned and maybe like a handful of others.
00:11:54
Speaker
to match our side of the road driving. On the right? Our side of the road. Really? Yeah. Because we're going into buses in the UK because I'd be like, oh, right. The other side. The other side. Interesting. Anyways, I don't know about Poland, but I noticed that. And Poland's part of EU, I think. No. Yes, they are a part of the EU. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what side of the road they drive on. Anyways, whatever.
00:12:17
Speaker
um
00:12:25
Speaker
the Things I liked about the movie.
Villain Critiques and CGI Concerns
00:12:30
Speaker
So, um, Apocalypse was a cool concept.
00:12:37
Speaker
Um, Quicksilver is always fun. Always good. And yet, is that- Did he feel more OP this time? Hmm? Did he feel more OP this time? Uh, he felt about the same amount of OP.
00:12:57
Speaker
Um, he he was definitely I think the the feet in this one was definitely much better than the other one much much more powerful Because he yeah, but um Man there's just not a lot I like jayla and I like michael fastbender's uh performance in He always does so well and it's such a shit like that he's handed, and he's just like, I'm gonna kill this shit.
00:13:38
Speaker
Other than that, though, like literally of like but there's that scene where Apocalypse could not Xavier and he's up there in like the the the rock looking over like what I think is modern day Egypt or modern day Gaza or not. at What oh cut that Cairo modern day Cairo. Jesus.
00:14:04
Speaker
modern-day Cairo and he's got his four horsemen in x Xavier and oh My god, the background is so bad. They're a small indie studio. I'd give him some slack. It was so Awful, it pulled me out So badly the first time I watched this movie this time that I watched a movie. Oh It was also terrible
00:14:34
Speaker
and then just like the whole like the whole Magneto like ripping apart the entire world kind of thing like it it kills the tension because obviously he's not gonna you know like destroy everything it's funny because that's the most comic accurate level power yeah Magneto's Omega level like X-Men 97 showed it best he can earth bend basically he can blood bend arguably oh yeah yeah he did the next three well he did that because miss he did a lot of iron and she injected the guard with a lot of iron in him so that magneto could bend it out of him but no that he i think he can like
00:15:21
Speaker
He does a lot of weird shit in the comics. It's electromagnetism. so yeah It's busted metal. Anyways, I really dislike it when movies like this take these like world-ending apocalyptic scenarios and stuff. Because it just kills the tension. Because like obviously it's not going to happen.
00:15:41
Speaker
like It's, we're just like, for me, it's just like, okay, I'm just going to wait and see how they
World-ending Scenarios vs. Smaller Stakes
00:15:46
Speaker
stop this from happening. Cause it's, they're going to stop it. Like, obviously 100%. Like, I don't know. I like smaller scale, like things. Cause, you know, Just destroy like one state, not the entire world. Right. Yeah. Or, you know, destroy Cairo.
00:16:09
Speaker
Have magneto this destroy Cairo.
00:16:17
Speaker
Yeah, and ah too many characters also. Way too many characters. we We spend no time with anybody. Why was Jubilee just a cameo? Oh yeah, Jubilee was there. Yeah, and someone who grew up in the old X-Men cartoon. That, ugh, not a good... It wasn't fun. It was nice, but I was like, come on. Come on. Come on.
00:16:41
Speaker
Um, yeah, um But really learn like I I really don't have much else to say about this movie On things that I liked in this. Oh wait, hold up. Uh, there's one one thing uh, there was that scene where jean scott and like I think it was like jubilee was when they were walking out of the movie theater and kurt ah yeah And they were talking about that they had just watched return of the Jedi And they talk about or the girls like the second was still the best kind of blah blah blah and the third one's always a downgrade and then Scott's like yeah, but we wouldn't have this we didn't have the first one and then you crazy Yeah, but we can only be the third is the worst and I'm like the third one No, I'm like wait, that's just they're just talking about X one two and three. and They're also talking about this one. Yeah, I
00:17:39
Speaker
Are they?
Why Do Third Movies Often Fall Short?
00:17:40
Speaker
Yeah, because this is the third one. In the in the new. Oh, God, it is.
00:17:47
Speaker
they didn't they I think they were talking about X1, 2, and 3, but they accidentally prophesied the film. Oh, my God. Yeah, because for days of future press, I prefer over first class. But first class is still really good. First class is really good. Yeah. But like, I think it it makes more sense that X one, two and three, because three wasn't isn't isn't dog dog shit like this one is. So I think they were still talking about X one, two and three. One. No, I'm sure they were. But I'm just saying they accidentally shot themselves in the foot by. Yeah. with this But they said downgrade not dog shit. So like, you know.
00:18:22
Speaker
um Oh yeah, I did like Magneto's magneto scene after his family died.
Magneto's Tragic Storyline
00:18:30
Speaker
Where he kills everybody, and then he goes to the the back to the metal factory, and he's like planning to kill everybody, and then Apocalypse shows up and he's like, who the fuck are you? I'm like, hey, there's that F bomb.
00:18:49
Speaker
Don't try and stop me from killing these people. Okay, kills them for him. Oh yeah, he's just like, I'm just gonna push them into the ground. And slowly suffocate them to death. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a there's a. There's a song that goes, ah bury me six feet deep, cover me in concrete, turn me into a street. What's the song? It's a spit by Poppy. Oh, no, it's a. Concrete by Poppy, something like this to give it a listen.
00:19:23
Speaker
I think it's concrete or something. Yeah, but listen to Poppy. She's pretty cool. um
00:19:32
Speaker
Yeah, other than that, Dog Water movie. All right. but How I would fix the movie is I don't have a lot of ideas.
00:19:48
Speaker
cause neither did the writers you're fine I would have to rewrite the entire movie. I also probably should have done some research on like the original apocalypse arc, but I didn't. Same. It's long. Don't worry about it. So that was like a built up for a while. You know what I would do for this?
00:20:10
Speaker
It would be a completely different movie. I would I would build it as, you know, Eric has his family. They die again. and Oh, yeah, apocalypse doesn't exist. There's no apocalypse here, right? Instead, the person going around building his gun squad is Magneto.
00:20:38
Speaker
Magneto after his family dies is like I'm sick of this shit. Oh, yeah And I want to get that cool scene of Magneto killing everybody in the steel mill Because that would be sick imagine if they put money into that and he's just like controlling the melted the The melted metal. Do you want to just make it rated R while we're at it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's another thing to add adapt movies. All X-Men movies should be rated R. They just are objectively better as ours. X-Men 97. I beg to disagree with you. But like in live action, I think they just need to be R. They're just ah like X-Men is very like it was a very political comic to begin with.
00:21:25
Speaker
yeah it It is about genocide, discrimination, racism. It's for any ism, really. It's for any ism, but yeah, other ism, basically. That's what the movie is. That's what the comic books were about for or inspired from.
00:21:43
Speaker
So yeah, I would have Magneto picking up his goon squad and you know, just like grab the, I don't know what are like the iconic, what the what do the what does he call his team? The Brotherhood of Mutants. The Brotherhood, I don't know what the iconic Brotherhood Mutants are. It changes all the time, you can pick a couple. like yeah ah i was I'll give you one that I was gonna swap, Emma Frost, put Emma Frost in there.
00:22:11
Speaker
Oh god, I'm a frost. Yeah. How old would she be at the time of this movie? Scott's age. Oh, uh, freaking Juggernaut. He's technically not a mutant, though. Is he not? In the comics, he got his power from a jewel. Oh. Although his son's now a member of the X-Men, I think. So you can just, yeah, why not? Just make him a mutant. You might as well. In the comics, in the death movies, he's a mutant. Yeah, he's just a mutant.
00:22:41
Speaker
ah yeah he's a mutant in x three also yeah um yeah he picks up his goon squad and then he is he starts you know doing magneto things which is being a terrorist as you do as you do and then we get we get we get like And then like x Xavier and and and like Beast and all of that, they they catch wind of like what Magneto is doing, and they try to like you know talk him out of it, because Charles always tries to talk Magneto out of it, out of committing genocide. And he's like, no, Charles, you were wrong. You're wrong. No, Charles. And then he throws him off, because he's in a fucking metal wheelchair. Your way doesn't work.
00:23:29
Speaker
And yeah, like, and I want to have like once Charles and Beeson all the higher ups at the Academy catch wind of this. They're like, we have to like, find a way to stop him. He's obviously not listening to reason. He's filled with grief and rage and anger and all of this. And then I don't know, we'll have Oh, Raven switches sides.
00:23:53
Speaker
um That's another very iconic... Would that undo her entire story arc, though, from ah from Days of Future Past? I mean, but she's ah she's kind of always a little bit like... In First Class and Days of Future Past, she kind of does separate away from Charles. It's always been her moving away from Charles' point of view. No, no, I agree with you. I'm just saying, though, like, if you make her full-on Magneto, though, that kind of undo the ending.
00:24:26
Speaker
I, yeah, ah I guess, I guess so. I mean, do you want her to be a third faction? Yeah, she she is kind of her own thing in this movie also. She's kind of just... Until the end, sadly. Yeah, until the end because the world's ending. And she, she likes Eric. But yeah, like, and then we'll have, we'll have Raven or Mystique tell Charles, talk about like,
00:24:54
Speaker
maybe she'll be pushing for like the soldiers aspect of it and Charles like no I want students I want to raise them well I don't want I don't need soldiers and eventually they'll that it'll come to a head where Charles will just kind of like give it in and then we get the birth of the X-Men Right then and there and we get, you know, we get your, your, your, your original like cast of X-Men with Cyclops, Jean Wolverine's not there. Who else is that? Are you talking OG like comic book or just like? Oh, gee like, like, like the X-Men show. It's like Cyclops is the leader. Jean Grey's there. Jean, there's Gambit. There's Rogue. Rogue, yeah.
00:25:43
Speaker
And there's Wolverine and like, I think, I think, uh, night crawlers part of the OG also, and he's there. So yeah. Or night crawler. Yeah. Yeah. And then we get, we get like, you know, the, the beginning of the accident, we get the OG crew minus Wolverine and a couple others, but yeah, like Charles gives in does this. They fight the goon squad and stop Magneto. They push him back.
00:26:15
Speaker
And then Charles is like, all right, I guess we could have some people on the ready to. uh stop Magneto and other bad things from happening and like we'll we'll fight mutants and humans alike and we'll show the world that mutants can be useful and helpful against threats all around and then we get the X-Men and we get their their cool you know actual suits at the end for cameo stuff like Cyclops did kind of
00:26:50
Speaker
Okay movie and we don't need apocalypse. We just need the birth of the X-Men. The movie is called the X-Men. I Mean this will do the same thing at the end of this I know I'm just saying Like X-Men we should have X-Men stuff. I and
00:27:21
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know so who'd be your who'd be your dream X-Men to have in a film Dream what your who'd be your favorite X-Men to have in a film gambit? Yeah You just make sure you just make sure people know what happened here What happened here today? what what happened to today Yeah man
00:27:47
Speaker
Oh yes, the question I wanted to ask, you're getting rid of Apocalypse, but are you gonna keep Oscar Isaac in the cast? And if you aren't, or if you are going to keep him, ah who's he playing? Hold up, I gotta look. Because this is a very important question. Sinister. But he said he doesn't have Sinister, he's not doing Sinister, he's doing Magneto. No, I know, but just Sinister. He can have him as a villain.
00:28:16
Speaker
His whole thing is playing around with mutant powers, so.
00:28:22
Speaker
And he's he's become well, he was pretty serious in the day, but now he's super campy just because Steven worked him. Pyro would be interesting, actually. Oh, yeah, pyro would be cool. I like pyro. And look i'm looking at other. Iceman. Iceman is is an X-Men. I want him as a villain.
00:28:46
Speaker
ah Brotherhood toad nah toad That's disrespectful. I'm sorry Isaac Oh God they should have they should have put I didn't vanish. It was an actual mutant Brad Pitt in this movie's a cameo again Are you looking up x-men villains Who the hell is Adam? I'm also looking up X-Men villains and somehow Sauron is on this list? Go home. Sauron, yeah. so it's ah it's a He's a pterodactyl looking thing. you can look Yeah, brother of the Olympians. Yeah, I was just looking at the Google results and it was like Sauron and I'm like BITCH! That's not mutant, you just have the one ring!
00:29:32
Speaker
There's X man. Oh, no. You do avalanche. Oh, avalanche. I like it. He knows avalanche. He does avalanches. That's all he does. He just causes avalanches. So dumb. It's it is until like he actually gets ah until he's in near a mountain. Then it's fucking terrifying. Clevis. Clevis. Oh, please. Clevis. Who the hell is Clevis? He's like a big monster looking guy.
00:30:00
Speaker
Dacken. Oh, Dacken's too early. Dark Beast. Dark Beast is, uh, oof. Ooh. Who?
00:30:12
Speaker
Sunspot. Oh, Sunspot. Just Sunspot. Just Sunspot. I think Sunspot's pretty good. OK, Sunspot. Yeah. I'd have him as either Pyro or Sunspot. But the thing is, Pyro's been done already, so like.
00:30:30
Speaker
Universe, baby and I know it's still you've been done like thrice now We're never getting that. We missed the window. I want I want that gambit film. I also want that coyote vs. Acme film That ah yeah, they they wrote enough right off lo tunes filmed this year though fully animated dead rip this year next year pepperino I know me to suppose he was getting like the highest ratings of any I hate it. No, I want coyote vs. Acme my heart just broke
00:31:01
Speaker
Yeah. And then they wrote it off. And then they wrote it off. I mean, that girl got the same treatment. For text minis. Apparently, you know like big studios do this all the time. Good news.
00:31:23
Speaker
That's right. Yeah. And that's why I think A24 moving to ah more blockbuster films is going to kill that, the quality that comes from that. But then smaller studios will take its place. It's the circle of life. Neon. Neon. I've been team Neon since fucking ah Parasite. And I am so happy. Everyone's starting to go on that now. I'm like, yes. Yeah. ah Chris Stuckman's movie, Neon. Yeah, exactly. All right. Ruthie, you raise your hand.
00:31:53
Speaker
Yeah. So, what I liked about this movie, it had a lot of good character bits, especially in the first half. I felt like James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, the guy who played Scott, the what's-her-face who played Jean Grey, all of them did really good. Nicholas Holt did pretty good. He did the thing though.
00:32:19
Speaker
You did the thing? So I've note- someone brought this to my attention on Reddit years ago and I've never been able to unhear it. If you have a British actor and they start talking an American accent for a movie, their voice gets deeper. That's just how their accent plays out. Every dude. That's just how it plays out. I'm not saying it's bad, it's just really interesting. Someone told me that I just can't turn it off. Like I can't unhear it. You need to watch Mamma Mia. There's a couple of, uh, bring it up. Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia. Mamma Mia, figure it out.
00:32:49
Speaker
Let me go. Uh, yeah, I enjoyed all of that. Uh, the Wolverine surprise makers. Hector was fucking with me when we were watching him. He was like like right before Wolverine came on screen. He's like, you know, this is like the beginning of that scene. The first X-Men movie to not feature Wolverine. Fun fact, I'm like, Oh, that's really interesting. He's like a staple character. Bam.
00:33:14
Speaker
you son of a bitch i thought well we were in weapon x and his striker i'm like oh okay so i i had a feeling i'm like oh i i'd known it before but i was like no i thought i was thinking it might have been saber tooth because that would have been clever that would have actually been clever no i agree with you um the bit where striker was like talking and big shit and then the suit and his trouble starts happening he leaves funny accurate uh good Good shit. The man's a coward. The man is an absolute coward. He has sworn on his son's life that he wasn't gonna betray people. His son's a mutant. It's like, okay. So he has no son. they ah know Not when he can use him.
00:33:55
Speaker
ah Yeah, I don't know. It's kind of a fun watch. I really enjoyed Oscar Isaac's performance, especially knowing that he had a really good time with it. I like it when actors have enthusiasm. I don't know. I like enthusiastic people. Joy. Joy spreads joy. I don't know what if he had enthusiasm once he did the role. I think he just was excited to be playing about it. But I felt it when he was playing. Yeah, fair, fair.
00:34:17
Speaker
Yeah, I will agree with you. Oscar also gave us 100%. I love it. Very close to chewing the scenery, but not. No, he took the line perfectly. That's Apocalypse. No, he's a bigger-than-life villain, so it makes sense. What line? Huh? What line? Where he was like... Almost chewing the scenery, almost taking it too far. Almost a little too much, but just right. Oh, yeah, yeah. Correct. Yes.
00:34:46
Speaker
He was not like the snake guy in fucking Elden Ring. Join me and we burden though. No, but he was definitely a record. Yeah, but the thing, so... Hang on a weird tangent. I can't go into my dislikes? Sure. Isn't it that he was being directed by non-English? He was directed by Miyazaki himself. Ah. And they do multiple take hours worth of takes and you only get like 10 minutes of the multiple hours. Yeah.
00:35:14
Speaker
give the last family curs you bail anyway I'm gonna be real, I didn't like j Jennifer Lawrence's portrayal of Mystique. Hector put it in a really good way as we were filming. She want didn't want to play Mystique as a villain. She wanted Mystique to be kind of like a hero and so it kind of felt like They had to hard pivot her so that she would be cool anti-hero lady. I didn't. That's not what I... Oh, you missed an... Oh, no, no. I said the studio wanted to pivot her because... Oh, the studio pivoted. No, the studio, because Jennifer Lawrence... Okay, well, I hate the studio's meddling in that asshole. Yeah, it was the studio, because it was like, right as Jennifer Lawrence got popular off Hunger Games. So they were like, oh, she's a big star. We can't make her the villain. Yes, you can.
00:36:05
Speaker
i mean yes but yeah i know both studios are stupid yeah stupid agreed yeah no i really did not like that decision because like everybody's hero worshiping dick sucking on mystique and it's like i don't know yeah and like i was gonna say something you have oscar isaac as apocalypse yeah like he's he was huge ah he wasn't as huge when when apocalypse came out but but this is still post star wars this is post star wars yeah
00:36:37
Speaker
Was it Star Wars that made him big? It was past episode seven, yes. But was it Star Wars that made him big? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. He was in other stuff throughout the years. I've seen him in other stuff, but this was the big break. Yeah. This was after Sucker Punch and the one Christmas story where he played Joseph. But yeah, this was also after Star Wars and Star Wars was really what put him on the map. I know what put him into the scene. Like the very first thing was inside Lewin Davis.
00:37:06
Speaker
yes but again it was not many people have seen that movie i don't even think i've heard of that one before it i've heard i've never seen it that's good you should also watch x Machina anyways uh But yeah, I don't know, that really, it it felt shoe warned in, I didn't like it. A lot of this plot, there were so many different threads and it felt like not all of them came together. It was so frustrating in the second half when the, it felt like the writers, as soon as they had the leaders it of Xavier's, when everybody was trapped in Stryker's compound and they're like, whoa, what was that? It was like the writers realized, oh shit, we forgot to like,
00:37:50
Speaker
really show our threat our villain to the the good guys they don't even know what's going on and so they had to like reshuff the plot in the box and then he yeah and it drove me crazy i didn't realize as as cool as it was to see uh michael plassbender with the with eric's storyline of having a family and having it ripped away again i felt like that was A necessary Magneto, I don't know. They had to give him a some kind of character. ah and They could just let the man just have a movie off, you know? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't think he needed had Magneto for this film. I would keep Magneto. I would too, but... i would I'm gonna use him in a different way. It's gonna break Ed's heart. ah Oh no, don't tell me. Go for it.
00:38:46
Speaker
Okay. Here's my fix. I'm going to say it in a sentence and then I'm going to flesh it out. And it's, like I said, I didn't take notes. So this is kind of going to happen live. Uh, the vibe of this movie is X-Men meets Miss Frizzle.
00:39:05
Speaker
We're on a ah magic school bus ride, everybody. Explain. That's that's honesty. Yeah.
00:39:16
Speaker
i'm excited to see where this goes no i am too i'm just i i'm having a hard time imagining miss frizzle being late or like ah charles is going to be miss frizzle let's be real but uh who's carlos wait what carlos the child maker who's oh well i guess in the in this instance it would have to be scott because he's the the troublemaker right in this one in this one yeah not the boy scout we all know and love So movie begins, I'm gonna keep Oscar Isaac, I'm gonna keep Apocalypse. So we start the movie, Apocalypse. um Apocalypse isn't gonna be the only one that's downed. I'm gonna give him two of his mutants that survived the the fall of the Egyptian empire with him. ah Not the witch lady, but whoever else. I don't i don't know, I don't care. um He arises again.
00:40:06
Speaker
Storm is the one who finds him not CIA lady. She was not relevant at all They could have included one of Hector's favorite x-men dust. She seemed really cool. Oh oh god da is telling me So can I explain this shirt so very quickly because I do want to quickly so in the comics there's a like what What's the thing she wears a job? Yeah, she's a job. Yeah. Yeah, she was a job Her name is dust right? She's she wears an all-blackie job and Or is it a burka? Burka, burka, thank you. She was an all-black burka. And her whole thing is she can turn to dust. It's just a really cool look. Like, it's just really cool. I've i've seen her a little bit of some shows. She's just nice. I just, I don't know, there's just something about her. I'm like, this is, I don't know, I like her. It's it's a simple idea, but it it just hits right. And she's sand slash dustbend? Yes. Yes. yeah And she turns into dust too. o So like, dust sand. So like, it's cool. Her name's Dust. And I'm like, that's so simple. I like the character.
00:41:04
Speaker
And then when they I was like, did we get dust? And then they show Moira, she removes it. I'm like, oh, she'd never do that. And then it's Moira. I'm like, God damn it. We were so close. so We were so close. Sorry. Keep going. Thank you. So Storm is the one who finds Apocalypse as he's being arisen. And she's freaked out. That just so happens to coincide with Charles x Xavier root using Cerebro and he picks up this mutant's fear and he's like, all right, that's it, everybody pack up into the plane because earlier that day Moira, his ex who was very bitter and also very CIA shows up. Does she still remember him? Yes, she remembers him. I hated that plot. Oh, I kind of liked and hated that plot line. Yeah, mixed back. But she's like, Charles,
00:41:53
Speaker
don't do CIA related stuff. You said you're a school, so you just do do school things now. So help me God, none of this mutant shenanigans." And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, not not at all. And then that happens. He's like, okay, everybody, um Egypt school trip now. And they all go to Egypt. Oh, I should also mention, ah Eric, they're, Eric is a part of Charles x Xavier's school. He's been ah laying low because he can't leave the country. He is still a terrorist. ah But Charles has been giving him kind of, a they've they've worked out a deal. So ah Eric has been working with the school and kind of been working as like a mentor to encourage kids to not be afraid of who they are. Charles and Eric, the thing about them that I like so much is that they're ah they do have the same goal.
00:42:50
Speaker
Eric is the Malcolm X to Charles' Martin Luther King Jr. That wasn't on purpose originally, by the way. I i know, but that's how I always see them. No, that's how people that's how it's been written for like, since like the 80s. Exactly. But it was complete accident at the time.
00:43:07
Speaker
And in the earlier, in the original trilogy, I know that was technically retconned, but there ah there was a scene where Eric and Charles went to go meet Jean Grey, bring her to the school together. So I liked the idea of the two of them actually working together to build Charles's school. I feel like Eric is still kind of needling Charles of being like, you know, mutant supremacy. They need to respect us. They don't understand our power, but we can show them our power. And Charles is like, chill, dude.
00:43:36
Speaker
Just teach algebra. Come on, man. he Teach teacher. No, he should teach like how magnets work. Oh, yeah, he's definitely. Yeah, he's definitely the science professor. Yeah, much too sugary.
00:43:56
Speaker
ah Probably they wouldn't want Eric as a history teacher. Might not be the best. I mean, I don't want to give that man even more PTSD. And I don't think Charles does either. I know. Yeah, it depends on you. So in the comics, in the original version of the X-Men cartoon, the 97, Eric's like, I'm going to kill you, Charles. And Charles shoots what people have called the Holocaust beam, where he just makes Eric re-remember everything about the Holocaust.
00:44:32
Speaker
Like it was that complete desperation, but at the same time it's like holy shit. What are you doing? What the hell even is that?
00:44:50
Speaker
um um
00:44:57
Speaker
super fucked out
00:45:03
Speaker
It's also a very Charles x Xavier. It's such an early Charles Xavier move! Anywho, also Mystique is definitely the gym teacher and she's like teaching them gymnastics. And I feel like she's the one who's kind of er egging Eric on to be like, no, I think your school idea is a really good idea. I think you should do it. Charles is great, you know, but he's my brother. Fuck him.
00:45:27
Speaker
ah you know, kind of sibling rivalry. Anyways, they pile up into the invisible jet and they fly to Egypt. And the invisible jet? No, that's Wonder Woman. That's Wonder Woman. Okay. No, she can. No, you're fine. You're fine. They're the only two who have jets as far as I'm aware, outside of like the Avengers. But like, yeah, no, I get I get it. Okay, well, they they they just have a stealth. it's It's a blackbird. It's a blackbird. Yes. It's based off a real plane, I think, but just souped up.
00:45:58
Speaker
It is a real plane. Yeah, but it's souped up. Yeah. Anywho, they I don't think that they would go to the airport, Chris Moira just said. yeah Yeah, they have a private jet. Yeah, private jet. And ah yeah, it would be ah Gene, Scott, Kurt, I don't know, one or two other. us What's the Speedster kid's name? He can be at the school too. Pietro. Pietro. or Peter. Peter. Quicksilver. Yeah. He like, ah he does weekends with his dad.
00:46:28
Speaker
Does he know yet? Does Magneto and no for com know? sake, no. He's just too scared to bring it up. Yeah. He just shows up on weekends and, uh, Charles loves him. Magneto doesn't know in the movie. Yeah. Okay. But how did, how did Peter find out? His mom told him. But like,
00:46:52
Speaker
Did his mom even recognize Eric? I'm sure she recognized him after the whole thing was televised, who her baby, daughter her baby daddy did all that shit. I know, but Eric and Eric and Charles and Logan went to his house in days of future past. Yeah. Oh, no, wait, no, no, no, that's how they got out of prison. yeah you know Never mind. Never mind. Never do it.
00:47:23
Speaker
ah Yeah, that's like the scene I've seen the most in the movie. I don't even know if I've seen the end of Days of Future Past. It's wild. It's really tense. I remember watching it in theaters and being like, holy shit. I don't remember the full movie. I remember the beginning. Anyways, they fly down there. By that time, ah Apocalypse has risen to power. Fine, yeah, sure. I'll keep Storm as one of the disciples. ah I'm gonna change Apocalypse's power scape instead of all that nonsense that he has. Whatever plot needed. Yeah. Whatever the plot demanded. He has one ability as a mutant. He is an amplifier. He can turn up your mutant abilities to raise it even up to Omega status, or he can mute them almost to the point where you are a normal human. That is his ability.
00:48:21
Speaker
ah And yeah. What do you think he also awakens powers? Yes. Okay. And um for shits and giggles, he does recruit Magneto. What would happen at the end of the movie is that ah throughout this movie, Apocalypse, he's talked about like mutant supremacy, and that's kind of piqued everybody's interest. But as Magneto is kind of surveying Apocalypse, he sees that Apocalypse doesn't treat mutants as superior. He still sees them as kind of being as disposable as normal humans. And he's like,
00:48:53
Speaker
Uh, fuck that. I'm not a regular normie. No, I'm built different. And that's when he defects. And I don't know. Uh, yeah. apo Yeah. Magneto would definitely defect at that moment in time. You'd be like, wait, you're putting steel as disposable. You're putting it at the same level as a human, a normie. Fuck that.
00:49:20
Speaker
No, I'm an Omega level mutant, bitch. He didn't even have to do shit to me. um And for added flavor, he ah he would do that thing with... trump ah Keep that thing where he like has Charles broadcast to the entire world.
00:49:41
Speaker
ah that the message from Apocalypse, and then immediately after that apox so Apocalypse is like, okay, yeah, I don't need that anymore, so uh, dee, and he turns the dial so that Charles is basically a normal person now.
00:50:00
Speaker
And yeah, I don't know, um, shenanigans, I don't know, the rest of the- Hold up. Yeah.
00:50:08
Speaker
if apocalypse dies to his effects and i'd say yes probably yeah just replies okay so that's how that's how he's able to get his shit back yeah okay cool yeah unless you want to pull off a big twist so so they are basically back and now someone else has to leave the school oh shit what you're saying what you're saying is apocalypse's power is basically a concentration spell. yeah Pretty much, yeah. Oh, wait. It'll be interesting. He doesn't keep his powers at the end. He loses them. Oh, yeah? They're muted. So now he's walked on both sides. And he's trying to really bridge the gap. Yeah, he's empathizing. Yeah. Who? jvi yeah Also, the man's a control freak to the extreme. So if you let him lose all that control all of a sudden, you have a really good character arc for the next film.
00:51:01
Speaker
I really do like the idea of the gag of Apocalypse looking Charles in the eye and being like, yes, you're exactly like me. You wish to control the masses. And then for the rest of the movie, Charles being like, what? Me?
00:51:18
Speaker
Certainly not. Oh, Moira. Yeah, honey. Sorry. Yeah, totally doing school stuff. It's fine. Bye.
00:51:29
Speaker
like doing yeah But yeah, Ed, I'm sorry, I couldn't, I didn't want to include the, the Magneto stuff that you liked so much. I liked the idea of Eric working at the school. All right. Uh, anything else? No, that's what's up.
00:51:47
Speaker
ah
00:51:50
Speaker
Hector! Back by popular demand. I apologize, since they forgive me, I must go all out. Don't worry. Ask my knowledge. My likes.
00:52:02
Speaker
They wrote my boy Nightcrawler, like, respectfully, so well done. I'm like, please keep the religion in. I like the dichotomy of him having to be, like, kind and religious in a world that hates him and he looks like a devil. Like, it's it's a fun character trait. I'm glad they kept it. I also like how every time we've seen Nightcrawler, he always explains his power as only where I can see.
00:52:28
Speaker
But this one they add, or I've been there before. Yeah. So that's pretty cool. But technically he can go farther than what he sees. He just scares them. Yeah, and because they they did that in X3 where he needed to get across a wall. X2. X2. It was sadly left out of X3. X2 made me such a fan of Nightcrawler, and I never liked it. They're like, we need we need you to pop us across this wall. He's like, I can't do it. I can only go where I can see. And they're like, we trust you. And then he does it successfully because his power is stupid. Stupid strong. Yeah, but he holds himself back, which makes it well work well.
00:53:08
Speaker
ah the The first half was actually fun, and I liked the characters interacting. As soon as the mansion blew up, my interest in the movie blew up too. Dude, my interest in the movie deflated in the, like, apocalypse prequel. Damn. Like, again, I've seen the movie before, but like, you know.
00:53:33
Speaker
that That's rough, man. You're gonna really hate the next one. That's rough, buddy. That's rough, buddy. ah The second round of Nightcrawler versus Angel slash Archangel was an actually good idea that was actually kind of built up. Man, the fight was lame as fuck, though, compared to the first one.
00:53:54
Speaker
I didn't even connect those dots. It was just really it was a good rematch. It was fun. And it could have been like. It could have shown like how they grew as characters, but yeah, because there's so much stuff stuffed into the movie. They couldn't build on it more. My dislikes the entire second half. True. Honestly, ah the Logan cameo kind of feels weird in the post-Deadpool 3 world.
00:54:23
Speaker
Because I think it was supposed to be his goodbye, but then he came back for Logan, and then he came back for Deadpool 3, and now it's till he's 90, so... I don't know.
00:54:36
Speaker
Half, uh, dislike, half fix. Apocalypse should have been hinted at in this movie, and you have Sinister getting powers ready for himself and for Apocalypse. That way, Apocalypse Towers in the next movie, when he's awakened, aren't just whatever the plot needs them to be. It's an exact thing that's already been set up by Sinister. So that takes so much work. Could I have to film a movie with Apocalypse now? and I know. Don't get over it. They're a multi-billion dollar company. Yeah. Also, they they're about to get bought by Disney. Don't worry about it.
00:55:15
Speaker
I don't like how they turn Mystique into a flat-out hero because of Jennifer Lawrence being popular. Not saying Jennifer Lawrence's fault. It worked well in Days of Future Past. Yeah, it made sense individually. Because, yeah, but then I thought that would've been it. She was planning to murder the president, was she not? Yeah, but then she undid it. So, like, she changed her mind and became the hero. So, like, that was actually good. It was built up well. the movie That movie's long, and boy does it set itself up real well. Yep.
00:55:44
Speaker
It didn't feel true to the, but like in this, yes, but in this one, it didn't feel true to the, really the comic, like comic mystique, or it doesn't really add much. I'm willing to change stuff. If it makes sense or adds a better story, you know, like sure. I'm not hating on her for not wearing the makeup. I heard she had out, she was allergic to it or something that I'm not going to hold that back against her.
00:56:14
Speaker
Now my real fixes. This is gonna be all over the place. Just be be patient with me. I never liked really Psylocke. I don't get why she has she has telepathic powers. Why does she have the blade? I mean, I get more than one power, but like, eh. Wait, does Psylocke in the comics not have the blade?
00:56:33
Speaker
She does, but she also has telepathic powers a little bit. She's a telepath also? Yeah, no, Scott just has a thing for telepath. Because he cheated on, I think, Jean or Emma with Psylocke for a little bit in like the 80s. Scott's a man-ho. But, uh... Oh, Scott's... Scott likes women that can read his mind. Yes. Interesting. Who can really see him when he can't really see the world, I guess. That might be the symbolism, I don't know.
00:57:00
Speaker
No, that's too deep. He's just a hoe. I mean, know yeah, probably. So I want to do Emma Frost because she can do tele telepathy and her powers are perfect for the Scots when she does the diamond form, right? Because Scots... She's in first class, though. She is? Yeah. Oh, yeah, she is. If she's the telepath that can turn diamond, she's in first class.
00:57:22
Speaker
forget it forget it forget it fuck that shit they ruined it they ruined it they ruined it foiled it um it also sets her up crushing on Scott and potentially she being jealous of Charles being a better telepath because she's a horseman but then she but they still need Charles because even at her top form she's not as strong as Charles but she gets another power which is the diamond Yeah, and the the diamond makes it so you can't read her her mind. all She can't read minds either or while she's in that form. Yeah, but she's as hard as a diamond. Yep. ah Change Magneto's costume.
00:58:00
Speaker
eat Let it be fully saturated red and the yellow gold lines replacing with purple did not like the look of the costume I'm sorry. I know a lot of people like it. I like the purple. There's not enough purple and dark saturated red Maybe this is my issue. I'm gonna be doing this a lot. I hate Bryan singers know What do you expect in spandex form of matt of yeah superhero comic ah like superhero movies with x-men. Yeah, I No, just just let- I get why in the past, but after Marvel was being popular, you should have pivoted. You just should have pivoted. Yeah, I really don't like this like the i also justlike the grim dark like costumes and stuff, and then you get Deadpool and everyone's like, whoo!
00:58:47
Speaker
and like I don't know. Yeah, I think it should have been a brighter red and some high or maybe they could have kept the like maroon color and just the the purple highlights would be very, very purple. I think that would look good. Yeah. Also,
00:59:11
Speaker
Apocalypse making the helmet again was kind of bullshit. Yeah, I'm like that was ah what's it called? retconning no, it's like This does sex walking. I kind of thing yeah. Yeah, I Will and i'll be honest. I kind of did that again, but for a different reason I Umm... Thank you. just kidding just Thank you. No, I appreciate it. I know. I know. I know, baby. It's true. It's my final episode of the podcast. Um... labo Have the characters fucking fight together. They're X-Men! For the love of God!
00:59:50
Speaker
Cyclops and Nightcrawler have to sneak Charles out together. Cyclops is the b- is the- there's mindless goons. Cyclops is the muscle. Nightcrawler's the infiltrator. Right? Yeah, maybe they have to take on Emma since she's a lot tougher their diamond form like also while night crawler fights He finds swords because it's Egypt. It's ain't it's a reconstructed ancient Egypt. There's got to be sword somewhere like of course like See decorative Cause in this comics, he fights with two swords and I think three if he uses his tail. I could be misremembering if there's three or two. But his tail is sharp by itself. Yes, you're right. So he has two. Two in his tail. He's a swashbuckling teleporter. Like, come on. it's It's so cool. And also, Archangel has fucking metal. Just have him deflect each other. It's cool as shit. It makes it another element. Oh my god, that would be so fucking cool. Exactly. Just lean into it.
01:00:39
Speaker
Just, Brian Singer doesn't want to have fun with these films and that's what gets me. Even at their grim dark once in a while they're still fun. Yeah, embrace the silliness of comics. Embrace the silliness and that can also make it serious at some points. Fucking James Gunn did it so often. Yeah, I didn't expect James Gunn to build to make three movies just to make me cry. Yeah.
01:01:03
Speaker
Why does the mansion have to be fully destroyed? It just makes Hank look stupid that he didn't that he left a very volatile bomb in the bottom of the mansion. Just half the building would have been fine, and Quicksilver can do still do all that and not seem OP, because he only has to rescue half the school. It was havoc shooting the plane. That's what I'm saying, but the plane only blows up half the mansion, not the entire thing of it, like to nothing.
01:01:31
Speaker
Also that way when they go back to the school before they fight they have their costumes Because I hate the tease of oh we're gonna show costumes cuz I think in the new one They don't show the cost in the next one. They don't show the costumes. They did it again. I might be wrong It's been I saw trailers you to go So here's my main story fixes you start Cyclops at the school. He wants to be like his older brother fun fact in the comics It's flipped the aces are flipped
01:02:02
Speaker
But he's too scared, I think, but he's too scared to open his eyes after he injured a kid in the school. So Cyclops, the leader, make him more analytical, since at the beginning he can only open his eyes at spare moments while they were making the ruby glasses and the visors, right? So he has to be really attentive and really quick and good at making quick, snappy decisions that are analytical. So like, while they're breaking everyone out of Stryker's thing,
01:02:29
Speaker
Like, he's telling people not how to use their powers, but just like, hey, wait, do this. Like, he tells Nightcrawler to grab guys so that Cyclops can knock them out. Like, quickly grab them and I'll knock them out. You don't have to do the fighting, because at first, maybe Nightcrawler's hesitant to fight, right? yeah Even if he says I want to kill him. So he's like, okay, I'll deal with it. Just teleport him to me. I'll knock him out.
01:02:49
Speaker
And like, maybe during the final fight he's noticing weak spots in the rubble or the building, the giant temple that Apocalypse made. Because, let's be honest, that man does not have- he did not make that building up to code. So I assume there's structural weak points. Are you telling me that Egyptian Osha would not be all up in his ass? Ancient Egyptian, probably, but they've built up their standards since then, I'm sure.
01:03:17
Speaker
Also, a little bit more about Jean and Charles. Jean should have had a scene where Charles, while helping her out at night, he locks the phoenix in some sort of mental telepathic cage.
01:03:29
Speaker
Because a lot in the comics, Charles is a dick, and they don't do it in the movies as much, and adds a lot more to his character when he's a dick and wants to be controlling. So then Charles is told by Hank, like, hey, you need to stop doing this, some of the more dangerous mutants, because holding it back can lead to effects, right? And then Charles just telepathically tells Hank, hey, how's that medication of yours going? Don't forget to take it. Just calling each other out. And also, because he's so controlling, at the end, when he Charles is telling Jean to stop holding back,
01:04:00
Speaker
it adds a little more weight to it, right? Like, oh, I was wrong. I should have told you not to hold back. Because see maybe he's scared of, he wants to hold him back because he's seen what Eric can do, for example, right? And then from my final fix, oh, one more thing I forgot to mention. When Nightcrawler knocks out Archangel, he should have teleported them with them to the plane if the whole place was gonna destruct. At this point, he'd be such a kind person that he would teleport everyone out, yeah keep everyone safe.
01:04:32
Speaker
And then when Dean starts to lose control of the Phoenix, Magneto just sneak attacks, throws the helmet on her, which I think does the same telepathic thing as, I know it's from- I think it's first class, set the rule up. Yeah, well that was more the original one too, but it's technically more of ah Juggernaut's helmet that stops powers like that. It's just a blocker, but I thought, you know, it stopped ah that part of her from, and if not, it just knocks her out because it's a really hard helmet.
01:05:02
Speaker
Well, uh, you can also- I did take that from Deadpool 3. That's actually a plot point. You could also take it as, like, this is supposed to, like, block out psychic, like, telepathic communication, right? What if it's, like, the demon core where the lid, uh, if it gets too close, it causes a reaction. That's what knocks her out. Oh, maybe, yeah, that's a good idea. That's cool. I'll take that one. So, yeah. You're so smart. Huh? You're so smart, Ruthie.
01:05:32
Speaker
No, she is. I like nuclear stuff, and the demon court's really cool. Yeah, no, she learned a lot of nuclear. Oh, and you just ruined it right there by saying, nuclear. Oh, Jesus. I'm going to go nuclear on your ass. It's nuclear. You're not going to see nuclear when I hit you hard enough for messing with my wife. I'll send you the video on the nuclear. It's rad as shit. It is rad. You know how I get you to stop saying nuclear? Bullying. W said it like that.
01:06:02
Speaker
W. W. Bush. George W. Bush said nuclear. Oh my god. All right.
01:06:14
Speaker
um
01:06:18
Speaker
I'm done. I'm done. That was really cool. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't I couldn't think of a big crazy rewrite. I like doing those but I couldn't think of anything. Yeah. Cause I can't, cause I'd have to do the sinister and then apocalypse, but then that's like two movies worth when it's not really each movie is its own thing. Stupidly enough. It's a bad formula. Yeah. This movie was really fucking bad. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be going in, but it was, yeah, doo doo. It was ass. Yeah. Straight cats in Cairo. Is that not a thing?
01:06:53
Speaker
I know it's a thing in Turkey and Greece. Oh, it's in Turkey, that's right. It's Turkey. Stray cats. Oh. It's also a thing in San Juan. Oh, yes. But there's straight everything in Puerto Rico. it ah No, but like they have the the cat. There's an entire documentary about stray cats in a certain country. It's it's very cute. Was it nose in Turkey?
01:07:16
Speaker
It's, yeah, it's one Middle Eastern country that has like is it it Istanbul. it's stra cap which is and Istanbul, yes, it's Istanbul. Which is in Turkey. Which is in Turkey, yeah. Kedi is the name. Uh-huh, where does Kedi take place? Istanbul. Uh-huh, or is Istanbul? Constantinople. um so I know the song, Istanbul's Constantinople. And what country is Istanbul in? Don't say Turkey. Turkey, it's Turkey. Turkey, yep. Turkey.
01:07:46
Speaker
It's Turkish for cat. We should watch that one. Not for the podcast, because it's a fucking documentary. I think they should show more cats.
01:07:56
Speaker
We should release three episodes on April Fools. No, Ed. We should release three episodes on April Fools. One of them is Kettie. It's just like, here's what we fixed. More cats, more cats, more cats, more cats, more cats, more cats, more cats.
01:08:07
Speaker
No, but Ed, I don't know if you've been to, I assume you've been to San Juan, but El Moro, the fort, they made it a cat shelter, so there's straight cats running around. What? Is that a cat shelter now? Yes. It's like a cat sanctuary area. Yeah, so they just have the feral cats, they're just vibing with the iguanas. They feed them and they give them shots and stuff, so they don't get people sick. Do they kill the iguanas? No, they're just vibing.
01:08:35
Speaker
No, they should kill all the iguanas. They're invasive.
01:08:40
Speaker
No, it was just kind of funny because I've got a couple... I thought I have a picture in my camera reel where it's like a cat and an iguana are in the same shot. the Both of them are just kind of just looking at each other like, if you start something, I will finish it. Yeah. But for now, we vibe.
01:08:56
Speaker
Speaking of invasive species, you know, there was a. What was the thing like colonizers were really fucking stupid? Because when they would like go on the the Americas, ah there's like, oh, there's all these snakes here. Let's release some of these. ah what are What are the things that are popular for eating snakes? Mongoose. Yeah. Give me one second. I'll pause. Yeah.
01:09:23
Speaker
So colonizers really fucking stupid. And they when they would come to the Americas and colonize the things like, oh, there's all these snakes all around. Even mean though most of them weren't poisonous, then they'd release these mongoose to kill the snakes. But wait, the mongoose didn't have any ah natural predators. So then they would release, ah I don't know, predators that ate mongoose. But then those would go crazy also. yeah And then they just left it at that.
01:09:52
Speaker
Yeah, and the iguanas are invasive and literally everywhere you've seen iguanas, they're invasive, basically. Yeah, I'm sure. My high school science teacher used to tell us stories. He grew up in Arizona. And ah when he was a kid, they used to like, ah the government would run around and ah try and hunt down all the horses because horses are not native to the US. s And they were trying to get rid of the invasive horses. so you'd just be like camping in the Arizona landscape and it would be beautiful and you'd see these majestic horses and then bang bang bang bang bang and uh yeah that uh they stopped the practice because it was quite horrific and people were upset yeah fun fact the only domesticated animals that were in the Americas were llamas fun even funner fact
01:10:44
Speaker
ah Before or Christopher Columbus came to the Americas, syphilis was only found in llamas. I will share that fact nonetheless because when Christopher Columbus returned to Europe, syphilis began to spread amongst humans.
01:11:07
Speaker
I'm going to subscribe and believe that Christopher Columbus fucked a llama. Yeah, two but like it might not have been true or might have been exaggerated anyway Uh, what do you guys rate this movie? D-minus yeah, it's like a D It's ah it's it's not an F because good acting yeah d plus ah they did my boy talk colorer right um i'm kidding kidding that's what thought and Yeah, pretty bad movie. Uh, join us next time for watching or any media. Can I? Yeah, sure. Go first. Uh, here's what I'm going to recommend. Uh, Half-Life Histories by Kyle Hill on YouTube. Uh, if you want to sound like me and a nerd about, uh, new clear stuff.
01:11:58
Speaker
thank you shit
01:12:02
Speaker
Kyle Hill has a really good series about ah nuclear accidents throughout history. um Not only Chernobyl. This one has nothing. Well, yeah, it doesn't have anything to do. This is pre Chernobyl.
01:12:14
Speaker
ah If you wanna hear about how people's, about how a screwdriver screwed up somebody's life, if you wanna hear about- Oh, that was a wild story. Yeah. ah Human organs being transported in mayo jars to do secret autopsies. If you wanna hear about what happened to Chernobyl- Or if you wanna hear about some guy getting a ah particle oh yeah the particle through his brain and he survived yeah uh half-life histories super fun and kyle makes um science fun and smart and he has an actual phd he actually has a phd i thought i didn't realize he said he didn't have like a full engineering sciency background seems like he got it seems like he got it good for him yeah i might be wrong i'm pretty sure he's like fukushima
01:13:12
Speaker
like Last year, yeah yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure he said that he does have ah like an actual like an actual book yeah No, no, no, that's right. Yes. No, he doesn't I watched I watched a Youtuber the professor he plays Magic the Gathering he played with with Kyle One time and Kyle does talk about how he doesn't actually have a sight He just likes talking about science. Yeah, like me. It's cool. Yeah. Media, I've been consuming Hollow Knight. Yeah, boy. Good shit. He's finally got it. He finally got into it. He got the bug. Pun intended. He's done with it. But I do. I do want to ah defeat Nightmare King Grim. Because he already did one thing in the game I've never been able to do ah the flower request.
01:14:05
Speaker
Yes. Have you gone to the museum yet? It took me like five attempts, bro. i hate And the thing that I did was I just set a gate at the flower so that I never rested at a bench. So nothing of a respond. And I would just go through this path, kill the things I would get hit and then go back and then go through the path again. And not everything would respond. I didn't think of that. Yeah. OK. Every time I would get hit by something, I would kill it. I'd go a little bit more forward.
01:14:35
Speaker
kill a couple more things heal go back to the gate and go again fuck okay i'm gonna try that if i ever play pick up the game that far again um yeah and anything else uh there's this new rts that came out called sins of a solar empire 2 it's fucking amazing it is an rts with some quality of life like things like you can You can chain queue up researches. Like, you can like, in most RTS's you can't like, um, the cat wants out.
01:15:17
Speaker
got your one out obviously cat here with everyone i'm taking lot
01:15:27
Speaker
Um, yeah, it does some really good quality of life chains because in most RTS's you can't queue stuff up. You have to wait for the research to finish to then do the next one. And this one, it just lets you queue everything up. If you have the resources for it, that is. Yeah, pretty cool game. Uh, I'm trying to watch the boys with a friend also than the new season, but has not come to fruition yet. Also going to Rose City Comic Con this Sunday.
01:15:57
Speaker
Oh, nice. I've been playing Persona 5 Royal, and Good Lord has a game. A game has not grabbed me like this since Cyberpunk, and that's not good because I started my new term. um I've been controlling it now, but Good Lord. Does that game just never want to let you go? It's fun. It's it's fun. It's fun. TLDR Hector's a weeb.
01:16:26
Speaker
Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb Weeb
01:16:58
Speaker
Cause the game doesn't tell you. um And then, ah there do you guys have any other ones? Ruthie, do you have another one? um I don't know. I've been knee deep in my Bridgerton bullshit for a while. That's some good shit. Injected it in my veins. Bob's Burgers is like really funny. Like really funny. If not that one, then Smiling Friends, pick one poison.
01:17:24
Speaker
Hmm.
01:17:27
Speaker
Ed should watch Smiling Friends, everyone. Everyone just dogpile Ed on the Discord to watch Smiling Friends. We have a Discord, by the way, and a bunch of other socials, which are gonna be linked in the description. They mean things to me. Well, they they are from the perspective of the audience.
Community Engagement and Off-Topic Chats
01:17:42
Speaker
They were in the description before they played the episode, technically. No, I mean, yeah, but you just click the fs episode. Most people don't read all the description. I'd never read all the description. But if you want to look in the description, we have a Discord. We can talk about movies and other stuff. Yeah.
01:17:56
Speaker
Like the newly released Minecraft trailer today. As if my day couldn't have gotten any worse. Like literally had a terrible day at work. Like I'm so busy but like once in a while just seeing the humans and like that in that world would just be like bong or like Jack Black as Steve. Ugh. Anyway.
What's Next: X-Men Dark Phoenix
01:18:13
Speaker
Next time join us for- Dark Phoenix. X-Men Dark Phoenix.
01:18:22
Speaker
it's gonna be horrible it's gonna be worse this is the movie that fucking killed the franchise yep all right goodbye everyone goodbye goodbye Today's film was X-Men Apocalypse, directed by Bryan Singer.
Credits and Farewell
01:18:43
Speaker
The writers were Simon Kinberg, Bryan Singer, Michael Doherty, and Dan Harris. The cinematographer was Newton Thomas Siegel. And, of course, the film was based off comics originally written by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee. Go show some love to their various social media accounts. They made a movie, which is more than we can say here.
01:19:05
Speaker
We hope you enjoyed today's episode. Lovely audience. Join us next time for the sequel to the reboot trilogy, X-Men Dark Phoenix. Nailed it. Goodbye.