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The Crow (2024)
42 Plays6 months ago
In this episode the ReShoot crew must finish their unfinished business- fixing the new Crow movie. Will they love this film, or will they love it harder?
We do not, nor do we claim to, own the rights to this film in any way, shape, or form.
TW: death, murder, suicide, overdose, demons, animal death
Recommended
Transcript
Opening and Crow Movie Parody
00:00:00
Speaker
You know, my favorite part of the Crow movie is when he looks up and he goes, I'm gonna crow! I'm gonna crow all over the place! And then he does. 48 hours of pain.
Todd Phillips' Joker 2 Sequel
00:00:12
Speaker
You know, I didn't expect Todd Phillips to release a sequel to Joker 2 so quickly, but man, it's definitely an improvement. Oh my god.
Introduction to Reshoot Podcast
00:00:23
Speaker
Welcome to reshoot amateurs no suits too many movies to explore Ruthie Hector and Ed laughter till the end let's see something you've never done before
00:00:39
Speaker
but yeah it's podcast time Hello, welcome to Reshoot, an amateur's
Hosts Introduce Themselves
00:00:44
Speaker
guide to good or film. This is definitely us doing at the right time, right after the credits, or after the theme song. Hello, I am a host, Hector Ruthie Edd.
00:00:56
Speaker
You'll have to guess which one's which!
Recap of the Crow Movie Plot
00:00:58
Speaker
I'm Ruthie. This is going to be a nightmare to edit. Yeah. In this episode, we we take movies that we liked. It's like it's somewhere in between.
00:01:10
Speaker
We make them objectively better. oh jack Yeah, this one's going to be easy to make it objectively better. Okay. but let me go Back to the regular programming. Speaking of hair, Eric, I didn't like his hair.
00:01:26
Speaker
I had to find a way to segue us and actually talk about the film. You didn't like Brandon Lee's hair? Bruh. No, he's making a joke about the original dude. No. Oh! Oh my gosh.
00:01:39
Speaker
What the f- Did you forget? he forgot. For some reason, that you know, that is actually a thing that happened throughout this week.
00:01:53
Speaker
i was like brainstorming on fixes and every single time I started thinking, how do I fix the old girl? And then I'm like, oh wait, that's right. I watched the new one. No, so that's the one that we're supposed to fix.
Critique of Crow Movie Fight Scenes
00:02:10
Speaker
epe Episode 6. Should we even give a recap of this movie? ah Guy and his love get murdered. Guy doesn't go to that re that final resting place and decides to make everyone who made them die pay.
00:02:28
Speaker
And he trades his soul for hers. Damn. Good. Basically, yeah, that's ah that's about it. yeah Guys, this is Podcast Girl. She used to go for the longest ones. Now she's like the shortest, I think, record now.
00:02:42
Speaker
Fuck you. I'm saying I'm proud of you. Why are y'all being mean to me today? Also, all the so synopsis for the for the old one don't have to change anything on that synopsis.
00:02:53
Speaker
Very simple. Same story. i feel like it's Very different approaches. Proto John Wick. I imagine. Proto John Wick. I'm joking. I'm joking. they're kind of that revenge fantasy. This movie tried to be John Wick to a degree and it failed in like one scene.
00:03:14
Speaker
It failed in a lot. Yes, but this one thing there was yeah there was there was one scene where it really tried to be John Wick and no no no good choreographed. It was very typical ah big budget action choreographer. It's like they forgot to actual fight scenes.
00:03:35
Speaker
yeah And they're like, shit, we need at least one. you know, but even even though even the old crew didn't really have fight scenes. I know. Wait, really with Brandon Lee?
00:03:47
Speaker
It was so It was such 90s movie.
New Crow Movie with Bill Skarsgård
00:03:49
Speaker
ah such a ninety s movie
00:03:54
Speaker
I mean, the fight scenes were very, uh, don't know, like, just,
00:04:02
Speaker
they they were very quick, because there weren't, like, a lot of baddies all the time.
00:04:10
Speaker
Like, cause, and that's one thing and i actually enjoyed in the old one is that the, the, the conflicts and fights didn't last for like 10 minutes. They were like, the longest one was like two minutes and there were like 10 baddies.
00:04:25
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. I can, I can get with that. Yeah. most Most of the time it was 1v1 and he would just like stab him or something.
00:04:37
Speaker
Anyways, new crow with ah Bill Skarsgård.
Nostalgia and Podcast Banter
00:04:44
Speaker
Wasn't he Count Orlok this year? yeah Yep. Nosferatu. I want to resurrect and bounce on it. Crazy style. And by it, I mean sword.
00:04:57
Speaker
ha ha ha ha.
00:05:03
Speaker
Yeah. Him having this word, though, in that one scene, that went hard. i mean, it could have. It was almost there. Okay, wait, a little hard. ah Wait, I am the Cesar.
00:05:13
Speaker
It's We're waiting for you! wow And I was waiting for you. so Great podcasting. Wow, professional podcast. very Did you forget the name of our goddamn podcast? Rishu, the professional's guide to Gooder. Well, I guess he is the professional. He has done it before.
Romantic Subplot Critique
00:05:34
Speaker
No, we're all professionals. We all did it. I was just the dude who hit the click. I took notes. I just hit the click, like act one, scene take two. that's like you youre You were an important part of the film, bro.
00:05:50
Speaker
Bullshit. bullshits Both of you were. You even... Ruthie, ruy you even like were like, that was the wrong line. Yeah, I know. You didn't mention this and it doesn't it isn't clear.
00:06:03
Speaker
I'm sorry. no No, that's good. That's good. you spoke up. Anyways, this is our Hector go Okay.
00:06:15
Speaker
ah The likes. I like the cinematography. There was actually some cool shots. Just not the action scenes, funny enough. And i like the colors. The neon, the different colors, the way the train yard looked. It was cool. It fit a really good lighting. The lighting was um excellent.
00:06:32
Speaker
it When it was dark, it was never too dark. When it was bright, it was night. i don't know. The colors were good.
00:06:42
Speaker
Okay, my dislikes. The characters. The characters. I'll get back to that in a sec. Well, mainly two, and I'll get to that in a sec. The boring-ass action. I... I... I wanted to like the Opera
Crow Movie Characters Discussion
00:06:57
Speaker
House fight. I really wanted to like the Opera House fight.
00:07:01
Speaker
What was the fucking point?
00:07:05
Speaker
The characters. There's one thing. I just remembered one thing I didn't write down. So the main bad guy has this kind of crush on this, or is, like, lusting after this, like, young opera singer, right? She's there for one other scene, and then it's just dropped?
00:07:19
Speaker
Yeah. what was go What was going through their heads? Didn't didn't he whisper sweet nothings into her ear? No! she lives No, she lives. She lives, somehow. I expect her to play a part in the end, you know, like a sensible film would. But I don't... Chekhov's opera singer. Chekhov's opera singer. Nobody's gonna understand. think there's a dude named Chekhov who made an opera, too,
00:07:42
Speaker
ah Nobody's going to understand what I meant by whisper sweet nothings into her ear. Well, if you haven't seen the back of film, be so confused. The main bad guy is a demon dude who works for a demon who's like, if he whispers into you, you do whatever he tells you to do. He tempts you to do bad.
00:08:01
Speaker
Yeah, he whispers sweet nothings into your ear. And then you commit more of this.
00:08:08
Speaker
Yeah, if he whispers that to your ear. Can I? It was the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Anyways, Hector, continue. Yeah, I thought he was kissing like the first time death' like who's kissing that woman's ear, and i'm like, yeah, I'd stab myself if kissed me like that too. Smooch. Smooch.
00:08:25
Speaker
yeah um moo oh Can I say, I hate how Eric looks. His tattoos made him look like an e-boy, and I realized why it bothered me at like at the very end of the film.
00:08:36
Speaker
He looks like fucking Machine Gun Kelly. He looks like fucking Machine Gun Kelly.
00:08:43
Speaker
before it Before his blackout tattoos. Oh, right. Yeah, he does that now. Wait, he has blackout tattoos? Yeah, has blackouts like throughout all of his body now. Because he regrets what he made.
Crow Comic vs Movie Comparison
00:08:55
Speaker
um He didn't say regret, but yeah. yeah i mean Most people who do... speak Knowing a lot of people who do tattoos, sometimes a blackout's just because either you have a new idea and you the space or you regret it.
00:09:09
Speaker
I just assume regret. bra Look, he's he he was with Megan Fox for years and they were all weird about it. I wouldn't be surprised. Bill was with Megan? Machine Gun Kelly was with Megan Fox. Machine Gun Kelly and Megan, okay.
00:09:23
Speaker
Uh... Another dislike, I looked a bit into the comic. Where's Skull Cowboy? That's such a fucking good design. Why is it not there?
00:09:34
Speaker
Why is he not there? The actor did great. Have him be Skull Cowboy. Please. Wait, Skull Cowboy? Yes, the dude who explains everything to him.
00:09:44
Speaker
In the comic, he's just I did a little research on the comic from Wikipedia. The character in a Reddit post, which I forgot to find... i forgot to find safe, but, uh, it's the dude, the ethnically ambiguous dude,
00:10:00
Speaker
um ah he His character was Skull Cowboy, who instead of explaining how his powers work, he's just there to remind Eric, like, hey, keep doing your mission, dude. Don't don't drop the ball and be all lost in your memories of your girlfriend. who is Why am I forgetting her name?
00:10:16
Speaker
It doesn't matter. the comics, the guy who's like in the purgatory area is Skull Cowboy? Yes, he's a skults he's a skeleton cowboy named Skull Cowboy. ah but yeah That goes so hard! That's so fucking like 80s, fits though!
00:10:36
Speaker
It fits! It doesn't, but yeah. The romance is another bad part. It's so annoying. It's like, I think the worst Joker and Harley iterations, like the how the hot topic shit, right?
00:10:52
Speaker
The hot topic, like, oh, Joker, Harley, you know, she's the queen. Think like the original Suicide Squad film. like the I knew relationships in middle school that were less cloying.
00:11:03
Speaker
And here's the worst part. does The hot topic shit, multiply that by three.
Goth Aesthetic in the Crow Movie
00:11:08
Speaker
That's the yearning they have for each other. When it's hard to love me, love me harder. Wow, how profound.
00:11:14
Speaker
Hey, Boomer, can you say something? Love me harder. He didn't say anything. and that was still Except for Ruthie pretending to be Boomer. But Boomer didn't say anything. That was still more profound.
00:11:25
Speaker
like And you know what the worst part of this is? when i If I'd seen this when I was 13, I would have worshipped the movie. That's my last dislike. I would have worshipped this movie.
00:11:36
Speaker
Short to Jesse. No. No. He's going to hate it. Or he's to think it's okay. He actually does have decent taste in film. But the amount of shame I feel knowing that I would have loved this 13 hurts me deeply. All right?
00:11:52
Speaker
Look, i saw the c I saw the crow wearing, Eric wearing that duster. I'm like, cool, man. I'm like, why does it look cool? I'm like, oh, God, I never out my Matrix phase. Let's be honest. No, I pointed
Thematic Exploration of Revenge and Loss
00:12:02
Speaker
that out when we were watching the movie. i paused it and I was like.
00:12:04
Speaker
You know, you got to say, though, his drip was pretty good for the most of the film. Yeah. For the last half of the film, the drip was amazing. like As much as I shit on the makeup, like it is a look.
00:12:16
Speaker
It's not a look I do, but it's a pretty... I've seen people in Portland like that. It's like it's a look.
00:12:25
Speaker
yeah So, bring back Skull Cowboy. Please. I didn't even know Skull Cowboy existed. and He's so cool! I'll put him in my fix.
00:12:37
Speaker
I saw one picture, and I'm like, this is this goes hard.
00:12:42
Speaker
My other fix. I know it's video game rules, but look, we live in the post-Hunders of Beavers world. If they can use Metroidvania rules for a movie, I can use video game rules for a movie.
00:12:52
Speaker
He has two returns. The crow has two eyes. The first one's a free one, of course. I'm not going to do that to the crow. But each time, he gets better.
00:13:04
Speaker
You know, he improves. He gets back. And it's like a crow losing an eye. You know, like, who else? what's What symbolism does that remind you of? Odin. Odin. You know, losing the eye, getting all that wisdom.
00:13:16
Speaker
Is it... Does this movie deserve that? No, but whatever. We're making it better. Yeah. He doubts his love for her after the video, right as he hits his third death.
00:13:27
Speaker
He has no idea about the demonic voice thing by this point. Because he learned that it wasn't her fault, but he still doubts the love. And I'm like, eh! It just felt like a weird... Like, they reversed the order without realizing it. Or they shot the scenes out of order. I don't know.
00:13:45
Speaker
So he still makes the choice anyways... And he's like, yeah, I'll i'll sacrifice my my, you know, give me the black blood. There's a soul eater now. No, i'll so give me the black blood. I'll trade my life for hers.
00:13:58
Speaker
I want to be an emo. i'm gonna The e-boy is now for emo. And then he transforms into the equivalent of a goth super saiyan.
00:14:10
Speaker
Tell me I'm not wrong. He holds up the worms, not towards the sun, but so that all the hot topics in the world can give him strength.
00:14:23
Speaker
It's the... phrase I can't make that joke. I can't make that joke. Pause it. I want to hear the joke. Incredible. They all, uh... Instead of all the hot topic people raising their hands, they just, like...
Unique Elements of the Crow Movie
00:14:38
Speaker
They...
00:14:40
Speaker
They start simultaneously karaokeing Black Parade. Okay, was going to say they all drop their chain walls to the ground. They start karaokeing Black Parade.
00:14:51
Speaker
Yes. Actually, that would be better. Yes. Bing! How how to summon an entire generation with one note. I learned how to play that intro.
00:15:03
Speaker
It's not hard. When I was a young boy, my father Took me into the city to see a marching band. Okay, back to the regular programming. I had to. We're out for intense ADHD energy today. Yeah. Tonight in this podcast recording.
00:15:24
Speaker
I feel God in this hot topic tonight. yeah Also, we might have tornadoes. Woo! We don't know in the Midwest. Yeah. So he still makes a choice to save her Then he learns the truth about the voice.
00:15:37
Speaker
Like the video kept continuing. He was shot halfway through the video. Comes back. Kills everyone there. The fight's more insane. The big opera fight? Let's let it get crazier. Let him use a gun and a sword at the same time.
00:15:50
Speaker
He kind of only had one. at a time. Let him, like, he has three dudes. Like, let it go anime, honestly. It looks cool. Just, like, he slices off three dudes, he's covered
Creative Storytelling Potential
00:16:00
Speaker
in blood. Into the comic book.
00:16:05
Speaker
Bullshit. I know it's a little different, but, like, the comic, just, just, don't know, it be a little fun. I've never read the comic. I assume that it's not as intense, but if you're include this plot, just make it go balls to the wall a little.
00:16:20
Speaker
Um, makes the black and the but red all over the place, you know? um So ends up the older soundtrack moments was the actual kind of music that was inspiring the actual the artist when he made The Crow. like millga That makes sense.
00:16:37
Speaker
Yeah, I wish, knowing that, they'd stuck more with it. Let me see. It is made by James O'Barr. Yeah.
00:16:47
Speaker
So, yeah, do that. I think...
00:16:52
Speaker
I don't know how ah to fix the relationship. I don't... Because I think the amount of time was good. i just want to touch up the dialogue a bit. it's not ass.
00:17:04
Speaker
No, actually, no lean more into it. Lean a lot more into it. They're not healthy people. I think if you make it so that, like, they're headed down a path of self-destruction and they know it...
Narrative Coherence and Character Motivation
00:17:22
Speaker
But they're so in love with each other and they're so fucking depressed they don't care. and it's mainly just because like she didn't deserve what happened to her. That's what brings him back. And I don't know. Maybe knowing the how life is precious at the end she decides to clean up her act after the whole adventure is done.
00:17:45
Speaker
i think that's what could work.
00:17:52
Speaker
Yeah, i could yeah the at the whole app that was a Bong Joon-ho level like atmosphere switch. there I could feel the tension in the room just... Yeah. it's Death code her like crazy hardcore.
00:18:07
Speaker
Yeah, like instead for once she comes back, it's like a reverse fridging. She comes back and she learns the lesson of like life's worth living, we shouldn't be so self-destructive. Hey, yeah, maybe drugs aren't good for you.
00:18:20
Speaker
And she'll fight harder to quit. Not judging people who are into addicts. I get it. and i I don't get it, but like i I know a few. It's it's tough. please get If you need help, go talk to someone. A therapist.
00:18:35
Speaker
A doctor. There's a phone number. Huh? There's a phone number. Oh yeah, there is. It's like 1-866-something. don't know.
00:18:46
Speaker
There's a song about it Yeah, anyway. that yeah Sorry, gone to a tangent there. that's That's all my fixes, really. Yeah, that's a good fix. Thank you.
00:18:58
Speaker
Alright, I'm going next because I can't hold back. Forgive me, Sensei. I must go all out. Pulls out the sword. Okay, so... so i'm not
00:19:10
Speaker
When I watched this movie, I watched the old one first and then the new one. Shouldn't have done that. What? You shouldn't have done that. Why was you trying to tell you I've done that? That's suffering.
00:19:22
Speaker
That's 48 hours of pain right there. Watching the second one, right? Well, Start with the good one and then you watch the the bad one second. Yeah, that's what we did. That's what, like, I asked, because I was watching both with my friend, and I asked him which one he wanted to watch first, and he said, let's watch the good one first. So we watched the old one. Okay, but like, when we did Point Break, you saw the second one first. Yeah, I know. And then we made you watch the first one, and you enjoyed it.
00:19:49
Speaker
But you enjoyed the first one a lot more. You know what I mean? You pick it up when I'm putting it down? Yes, yes, I i know. And I realized that, though, yeah, it was the bad decision. But still, I watched children, the new one. And yeah, it is that they are there's stark differences.
00:20:06
Speaker
ah
00:20:09
Speaker
So I don't know if I mentioned this already in the recording, but like the original Crow comic book was written by whoever the author was because he had recently it lost his fiance in a car accident.
00:20:23
Speaker
And he wrote this comic book as a way to kind of cope with it. I'm pretty sure. I think. Don't quote me on that. So, that was the whole point of the comic book. was like reflecting on things like that and like how to, how he, the author, and Eric, the character in the comic book, were dealing with losing their fiance.
00:20:52
Speaker
And, I don't know. I felt that a lot more in the first one than the second one.
00:21:00
Speaker
For sure. So. But anyways. My dislikes in this in the second one. Yeah. The love story was fucking god awful. It was just Like.
Analysis of the Crow Movie's Villain
00:21:15
Speaker
It felt so like middle school. Kind of like hot topic couple bullshit going on there. All this hot topic shit. um
00:21:29
Speaker
um The villain was the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. ah what was his what what was he even like i don't even remember what his motivation was at the end so because he he made a deal with the devil so that he every time every time he tempts somebody to evil is once the innocent dies he gets to live longer he steals them so he's trying to find a different way to get the immortal No, he's just trying to stay being immortal.
00:22:00
Speaker
Yeah, without having to do all that shit. No, no, he's just status quo. He's just still doing that. Why was he so pissed that Eric died? Because he wanted powers. He stole his powers at the end. Oh, yeah, he wanted- He talked about- er the The Lady Marion talked about that, but that was not depicted.
00:22:18
Speaker
at least to me. he he he wanted he wanted Eric's powers because he could still die, Eric literally could not die. literally impossible yeah it's like one of the chaos and the master emerald you know why is that the example i went with still still stupid ass bullshit didn't need to be there why i mean yeah the story's about some guy coming back to life for revenge but like mean that's we didn't need more bullshit honestly
00:22:50
Speaker
This movie's supposed to be a reflection on losing people you love. And, and like, cope coping and revenge and shit, like, Jesus Christ.
00:23:01
Speaker
That was stupid. Romance was stupid. Oh, my God.
00:23:08
Speaker
The fact that Drive My Car had a better romance on both sides. ah It's... I want a monument to how good Drive My Car was. Drive My Car was, uh...
00:23:20
Speaker
rough That's a movie that should have made me bored, and it did
Cinematography and Visual Style
00:23:23
Speaker
not. That's a testament. anyway It is three hours long, I think. It's three hours long, and this movie felt three hours long. it did.
00:23:34
Speaker
I don't know, just like... And the thing is I watched this like almost a month ago. yeah we've been slacking. Sorry, everyone. still like and And the testament that I don't remember a lot of what happened in this movie...
00:23:51
Speaker
Ed, I saw it like three days ago and I don't remember a lot of what happened in this movie. Yeah, we saw it on Sunday night and then I made him watch Kindergarten Cop the night after. was like a palette. I remember so much more. in which I wish I had more specifics to nitpick, but I just can't remember.
00:24:06
Speaker
you mentioned the opera fight scene. Oh, here, I'll probably jog your memory. What about his friend ah Hector's apartment? Oh, where his drug dealer friend gets shot?
00:24:17
Speaker
Yeah. And he gets shot in the chest with shotgun? Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah. Oh, that's right. i wanted to bring up the the the the purgatory dude, the ethnically ambiguous ah death boy, crow guy, you know?
00:24:32
Speaker
Not skull cowboy. Not Skull Cowboy, the replacement. He has the name in the movie. it Is it Chiron? It is Chiron, yeah. Chiron. Alright, Chiron. Why is he even there?
00:24:45
Speaker
We don't need literally don't need that. we literally don't need that
00:24:52
Speaker
I don't know if it if if I'm confusing it, but I'm pretty sure they mentioned the crow and that story a little bit earlier in the film, do they not? No. No. no chio Okay. fuck.
00:25:03
Speaker
Okay, whatever. He over-explains it, though. It kind ruins some of the mystique. He does explain it, that the crow is the one that's supposed to guide you into the afterlife, but sometimes the crow notices that you have unfinished business, so it brings you back to...
00:25:20
Speaker
square that business basically that's what the crow does sometimes um yeah chyron didn't need to be there we didn't need the explanation honestly first movie does it better with literally not giving you an explanation why he's back
00:25:44
Speaker
the The only explanation you get is basically that story. And it's like a narration at the very beginning beginning of the movie from one of the one the girl the little girl character talking about the crow that takes you to the afterlife sometimes brings you back if you have unfinished business.
00:26:01
Speaker
Right?
00:26:04
Speaker
And that's all you need. You don't need, like, some purgatory dude being there getting your shit together. Although, Skull Cop was pretty cool. don't know why. The Skull Cowboy in the comic is just telling him like, hey, don't lose track of your mission. Don't lose, get lost in your memories. Keep doing your shit to kill everyone.
00:26:22
Speaker
That's it. Yeah. Dude, you got more people to kill. What are you doing being sad? Basically, basically. It wasn't that long of a comic too, I think. The original version.
00:26:33
Speaker
It was like a couple issues. Yeah. It was like five or something like that. No, I think it was four, because there was a fifth volume that didn't get. The fifth volume didn't get published. Ed was just telling us before recording.
00:26:45
Speaker
I was. You were. Yeah, I don't know about volumes and shit. Yeah, was it was a limited series.
00:26:54
Speaker
A Christmas special. And then number five, titled Death, which was left unpublished. The previous story to conclude this original arc. So there were four total. There were four total, never made a fifth one, and then they've made a ton of redos.
Visual and Thematic Critique
00:27:10
Speaker
um Fun fact, there's sequels to the old one that are god-awful. No, I think went straight to video. Anyways. My likes.
00:27:22
Speaker
My likes.
00:27:28
Speaker
um
00:27:31
Speaker
his drip was cool yeah the drip was cool that's about it honestly um yeah I will be mentioning a lot of the old one here for my fixes and all that so one of the really cool aesthetic choices that Oh, yeah. One of the really cool aesthetic choices for the old one was that that there were these times where he was like up on a roof or something and he would look out over whatever city the the fictional city they're in like new york New York, Chicago, I don't know.
00:28:04
Speaker
Let's call it Gotham because it was very gothic on the architecture on everything when when when he saw the cityscape. Probably Chicago then. Yeah, but it was very gothic and it was very black and white when you looked out on the city and stuff. Probably Chicago.
00:28:21
Speaker
There's some gothic buildings there. Yeah. ah There was this also there wass also just this really cool scene where he's up in a rooftop and in in the old one he's a...
00:28:33
Speaker
he's part of a band he's like the guitar the front man with the guitar lead singer right and he goes up to the rooftop and he like plays a riff on his guitar and a guitar up there um which
Narrative and Character Development
00:28:43
Speaker
was pretty awesome honestly not gonna lie yes so i have a question for you spoiler for the old movie brandley dies um yeah that's not that's not in the finished product it's on the vent That scene was not in the finished product? No, there's no way. I've heard rumors that there were. no Okay, I just wanted to ask you.
00:29:05
Speaker
No, because like when they shot when they when he got shot, he just instantly hit the ground. Basically. Yeah. um the Yeah, that scene is not in the finished product.
00:29:17
Speaker
Not for you. Um...
00:29:26
Speaker
So yeah, let's bring back the gothic cityscape. Let's also tone this back down to it just being in one city, please. Not this globe-trotting bullshit adventure shit.
00:29:38
Speaker
but What? It was just in New York and maybe the mental institution? Was it really? He talks about being from ah Austria, like Vienna, but I think that's not him in Vienna because there's no like title card city location.
00:29:53
Speaker
It's kind of implied that it's all like in New York, Chicago. York, Chicago. It's New York. The Chicago water is never that warm. as someone who's been to Chicago, that water is never warm.
00:30:06
Speaker
Okay, well, i get i thought it was I thought he did like go from place to place. No, no. no I think you're thinking, because the because at the opening, it's like this weird like flashback to where he's a kid in Texas and he watches his horse die.
00:30:20
Speaker
totally forgot that's about that scene. It's it's really dumb. I never came back! i i I was going to complain about that. I'm going to complain about that. and there's the Then there's New York.
00:30:31
Speaker
Then there's the mental institution. Then there's like the transition shots where they're like... ah hitchhiking to New York and then it's all in New York okay alright nevermind still gothic let's make it gothic and fictional city not New York
00:30:52
Speaker
um else Seattle seattle
00:30:59
Speaker
I said E-Boy City. And also, also let's let's let's cut the whole romance and the whole meeting part of it. Because that that was ah also a thing in the old one that I liked.
00:31:11
Speaker
The movie literally starts the main character dead. they he They were already dead. At the beginning of the movie. Do they show flashbacks of their being together No.
00:31:24
Speaker
No. Okay, that is... <unk> only flash track is The only flashback is shown is like literally reliving the attack and getting killed.
00:31:39
Speaker
Huh. Yeah.
00:31:44
Speaker
he He like talks about it at least. Oh, actually there there there there is like... No, never mind. There is like one flashback, I think. So you do get to like see Shelly? Yes.
00:31:55
Speaker
That's her name. like I think once or twice alive, maybe. But very few, very very limited amount of time. Which I liked.
00:32:06
Speaker
Because... Because you hate women. Happy International Women's Day. no, it's not that. it's I did i i didn't need didn't need the romance part of that. didn't deny it. He hates women.
00:32:17
Speaker
I said it's not that. You said it's not that's not the reason. It's not like that's not the reason. Not that you... I don't hate women. Jesus.
00:32:28
Speaker
My God. we just cut out the we can just cut out the don't. i He admits it.
00:32:38
Speaker
Anyways.
00:32:41
Speaker
Basically, what I want, what I wanted was what we can do is just have like a very short scene of them together. Like, don't know.
00:32:53
Speaker
ah Let's say
00:32:57
Speaker
ah the Eric is, you know, struggling artist, musician, part of a band, and she can do her own thing. I don't know. She can have job. got piano and syncs.
00:33:11
Speaker
That's how she got in contact with the villain whose name currently escapes me. He's in the music world. and for For the old Crow? Oh. In the new Crow?
00:33:22
Speaker
In the new Crow? the old Crow, know what her job was, but in the in the new crow it was yeah she was associated with him through the music world that's stupid um also her mom like basically sold her to bad guy so she could be famous so she could be famous also weird look because shelly and this one is mixed now that i'm kind of saying that aloud weird weird yeah
00:33:53
Speaker
Anyways, for my fix of the movie, we can have, like, two very short scenes of, like, you know, them and their just apartment in fictional Gothic City. And, like, you know, they're getting by just barely. But, you know, they're happy together. And, like, they play some songs together.
00:34:14
Speaker
We can have a little proposal scene. And then they can have, like, a little wedding planning scene. And then they just... ah
00:34:23
Speaker
Get attacked randomly. Just out of fucking nowhere. I don't know. like I was thinking that maybe maybe they were a little bit, since they were struggling, they were a little bit of like experimenting on some drugs and she got some...
00:34:39
Speaker
Weird shit that she shouldn't have gotten her hands on. And. And then the like the the guys come to like basically repo the fucking drugs.
00:34:50
Speaker
Or something and they resist and they get killed or something like that. just some senseless stupid shit basically is how they should die.
00:35:01
Speaker
Right.
00:35:04
Speaker
ah And then.
00:35:07
Speaker
You know. It can happen like it did in The Crow where he it goes it gets to the point where he gets buried.
00:35:17
Speaker
He gets buried? Yeah, they both get buried and then he comes back. He digs himself out of his grave. Like Schmitty Webberman. Pretty metal. What?
00:35:28
Speaker
Like Schmitty Webberman Jensen.
00:35:31
Speaker
Come on, Eddie, you know him. He was number one. He was number one. Yeah.
00:35:39
Speaker
No, but that we can we can put that metal shit of digging himself out of his grave when he comes back, and he can just like have no understanding of why he's still alive. am pretty sure that's a pretty common superhero.
00:35:51
Speaker
Wait, this is was in the 80s, right? it was filmed in the 80s, came out in like 92 or something like Oh, shit. That was a trend. no, no, because like in the, i there was the Craven's last hunt, Spider-Man, Craven thinks he killed Peter, or Spider-Man, threw him in to a grave, and then Spider-Man just pops his head out. I mean, that's a popular trope because that's what used to happen. And then Daredevil did the same thing, I think, around the same time. but that used to happen in real life.
00:36:18
Speaker
People used to what? People used to get buried alive very often. It got to the point where you had to, they started attaching bells to coffins. So you would just, if you got, Oh, right. They did do that. That's right.
00:36:31
Speaker
but so I have a new fear. Don't tell me that. Stop, please. I mean, sorry so they, they, they, they embalm you know, so you, you, you, if you're not, if you're not dead by the time you get there, you will be about the time you leave here.
00:36:43
Speaker
yeah so fair fair oh that scares me though that really fucking scares me don't worry it's fine uh but yeah let's have that metal shit of him digging himself out of his grave again and then it's just like you know anger of just like they didn't need to kill us why the fuck did they kill us kind of shit and he just has no recollection and In the old one, they did have like this little girl that came around to their place all the time.
Original vs Remake Crow Movie
00:37:17
Speaker
Because she had a non-existent dad and a deadbeat druggie mom.
00:37:24
Speaker
And they kind of like half adopted her.
00:37:28
Speaker
i don't know if I would have that in this one in this fix also. yeah just I'm just rewriting the old one. like What the fuck am I doing? There's no there's nothing... like
00:37:44
Speaker
I'm just rewriting the old one. I give up. Just watch the old one. No, that's not our podcast. That's not our podcast. Finish what you started, coward.
00:37:56
Speaker
Find something original in your head there, Ed. Come on, Edmi boy. Find something original in my head, Edmi boy. You've got this, Edmi boy. just Just one thing. One thing you changed. I just don't know, man, because it's...
00:38:11
Speaker
It's such a simple story. and just like Would you change any tattoos? Yeah, he wouldn't. I mean, they might have some tattoos. It's not important to the story. It's not important to the characters. It's a way of changing it from the... Make him left-handed. Make him sinister.
00:38:29
Speaker
Make it a musical. I should have said that. yes it should Dude, this would have rocked as a musical. ah rock opera musical. of rock opera Of a guy coming back to life to Avengers Dead Love?
00:38:40
Speaker
Dude, this fucking writes itself. Oh, man. i can And if it had been in the 80s, instead of casting ah Brandon Lee, it should have been what's-his-face. David Bowie.
00:38:54
Speaker
Oh, my God. What about the the guy who played Faye Rautha in the original Dune? That was Sting, right? From The Police. Wasn't he too old to play Eric by that point?
00:39:08
Speaker
just think he's actually old in my mind. oh
00:39:14
Speaker
is that what you care and is that your that your in the 70s dune is that your is that your fix i just oh yeah it is sting look at that yeah and it's not your is that your fix just make it a rock opera no it's not that's not my fix coward i think i think what i would change honestly well maybe not even maybe have school cowboy be there and be the one to explain to him like you you need your revenge for your soul to rest well kind of shit it's like so do your job so we can you know expedite this process it's not healthy for you to stay in the living world for too long after dying
00:39:59
Speaker
Oh, that's a new idea where it's not healthy for you. but Yeah. And maybe he starts like, maybe he he just starts reminiscing too much on like the things that he lost, just like hanging around in the apartment where they died. That's the comic. That's the actual goddamn comic. You veered.
00:40:17
Speaker
You veered. Step away. no no, That's fine. That's that's fine. right that's mine No, but he just notices that like his like parts of his body are like starting to like go into necrosis and stuff.
00:40:29
Speaker
and then And then he gets the fear that like maybe I won't be able to like avenge Shelley's death if i just stay thinking on the past, keep moving forward kind of thing. That's actually a good way to keep the movie going, too.
00:40:46
Speaker
Yeah. And School and Cowboy and school cowbo just keeps visiting and be like, bro, I can't force you to do this. You have to do, you have to will this on your own. And honestly, that also goes into the the theme of like, you know, losing a loved one.
00:41:03
Speaker
You do have to grieve in your own way. But in the end, you do have to keep moving forward. you You can't just stay in the past there. and There we go. Eventually, you have to go. That's good. That's really good.
00:41:19
Speaker
Yeah, and then with the necrosis going on, he just like you know goes on his revenge investigating who was the main culprit in School Cowboy. like He eggs him on along the way. Every time he dies, he just sees he goes to like where School Cowboy is hanging i was like, there you go.
00:41:37
Speaker
Keep doing that shit. And then brings him back.
00:41:42
Speaker
Hey, wake up. You're finally awake. Hey you, you're finally awake. It's like combining Skyrim and Hades. yeah
00:41:53
Speaker
That's good. Yeah, and then he just, you know, completes his mission, kills everybody, and then Skullcabo is like, it's time to go.
00:42:06
Speaker
ah And I will say he'll he he like says, like, give me a little bit more time. Skulka was like, well, sure, whatever. And then, i don't know, just like a short little montage of him just, like, going through the apartment again and, like, having some flashback memories before he goes back to his grave and buries himself again and then dies for good.
00:42:33
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I rewrote the old one little bit there. That's fine. But you unwrote it a little near that. Yeah.
00:42:44
Speaker
Yeah. And honestly, that's what I wanted. I wanted to capture the spirit of why the guy started writing the comic in the first place. That's good. Just like grieving and dealing with it. And just like how, what is a healthy way to deal with it and an unhealthy way to deal with it?
00:43:01
Speaker
Honestly, considering that the fifth chapter was supposed to be called Death, I think you might have pieced together what was probably the ending No, yeah. I mean, maybe. I'm not saying bad thing. I'm just saying, I mean, there's no way to know for sure.
00:43:15
Speaker
But just... but I think you might piece it together, dude. Maybe in the... In the... In the... Original ending, he was supposed to stay alive. But a part of him... ah Accepting that a part of him did die. And that it will never be the same after that.
00:43:30
Speaker
But he continues to live... but he learns to move on maybe in the original maybe that's an alternate ending for my film too after he completes school school cowboy gives him an offer either you can stay dead or you can or i can bring you back permanently but you have to fight you have to move on kind of kind of shit yeah yea yay yay yay ruthie
00:44:02
Speaker
What I liked about this movie. The cinematography. Oh, okay. um For the new one, that ending was so goddamn stupid. Oh yeah, the time loop-ish.
00:44:20
Speaker
It was... It... It... It reminded me of Repo Man. I've never seen it. If anybody has ever seen that movie. ah Basically, how the movie goes is half of the movie doesn't even fucking matter because it's not fucking real.
00:44:38
Speaker
It's not what actually happens in the story. That can be good. It can also be bad. yeah I mean, yeah, it was good in Shutter Island. It was terribly executed in Repo Men.
00:44:52
Speaker
Terribly executed. Shutter Island, i've never seen it. Is that the one where Leo DiCaprio was dead the whole time? No, that's six cents. I know, I know. Six cents. Spoilers.
00:45:04
Speaker
but you're You're past the deadline. yeah you Like, movie is not safe anymore for Sixth Sense, but spoilers. Not safe for work? No, no, like... I know, I know, just shitting on you. Shut the fuck up, Hector! Stop it.
00:45:20
Speaker
Yeah, but that ending, oh my god, holy fucking shit, that ending. Why did it have to be like that? why Why did there have to be resurrection in the first place?
00:45:31
Speaker
Why did there have to be resurrection in the first place? that And why did it go back... In time, it's as if the whole movie didn't matter. It's as if instead of both of them dying, yeah, or whatever, it was her it was just him that died.
00:45:49
Speaker
It's as if the movie didn't didn't go on. Do you understand what I mean? That the attack happened, but it was just him dying, and all of this shit didn't matter. Because it didn't seem that she knew what he did for her.
00:46:05
Speaker
It didn't seem like she knew what happened. I felt that that look that she gave his body, especially the tattoo, was like her realizing. Oh yeah, the tattoo was still there.
00:46:15
Speaker
He did have the tattoo. he did have Cry now, cry later. yeah I think it happened. I like to think it just was like ah ah yeah that's like a reality shift. where Yeah, and that's why I keep saying alternate reality. It doesn't feel like a time loop.
00:46:27
Speaker
I was just messing around calling it a time loop. I thought was no i still i still don't like that ending at all. No, I don't like it either. I don't like that it that it went back in time because it's... Or like alternate reality. But it did go back in time as a thing.
00:46:39
Speaker
Back to when they were initially attacked. Technically, yes. But yeah it's just like the the alternating path. It's like and yeah back to the future. just... no No. there's consequences.
00:46:53
Speaker
So you want Shelly to dig herself out of her own grave? What if she was cremated? What she was a crow? no No, no, I don't want that to happen. I just want it, like, like, she just, I mean, i guess, yeah, dig her out of her own grave. I don't know. Fuck it. Whatever.
00:47:06
Speaker
Fuck the, fuck the, fuck it. what you I don't know. What's okay? Ruthie, go. I can't think of my other like. There is one somewhere out in the ether.
00:47:17
Speaker
Okay, yeah, the drip. The drip was... The drip? Yeah. um The dislikes. The beginning bit. What the fuck? Which part of the beginning bit? The beginning... Yes!
00:47:28
Speaker
but With the horse? Yeah. Oh, yeah. like number that That came back once. Barely. Not really. was just the horse kind of come back to life. no but It was it was yeah but it was like was like a flashback. Something something about life.
00:47:41
Speaker
Something about life being precious. I think. Is when it came back. it It felt so forced. Yes. Agreed.
00:47:50
Speaker
The fact that he had the the tattoo. like Oh there was this one part where he was like. Kind of stimming with his barbed wire scars on his hands. Once.
00:48:03
Speaker
I didn't even catch that. it was very early in the movie when he was in the mental institution that felt like a prison. ah did. I thought it was a prison. I'm like, why is this a co-ed prison?
00:48:16
Speaker
But and as I was co-ed, I'm like, oh, this is a... I had a feeling it wasn't a prison. that they were allowed to do so much. I'm like, wait, they're forced to do group therapy. I don't think this is a prison. Because as far as I'm aware therapy is a force.
00:48:29
Speaker
It's like an how prisons should be.
Narrative and Thematic Critique
00:48:32
Speaker
Rehab. Yeah. yeah no
00:48:38
Speaker
Rehabilitation to be accepted back into society. city Except this is the part where I say things that I dislike and I like that. Anywho. Anywho. the The romance was a hot garbage. I have developed a hot take.
00:48:53
Speaker
I think the longer movies are in development hell, the more likely they are to have ass dialogue. This movie was starting to be made around like 2004. or Exactly. You know, Mark Wahlberg was almost the lead dude at one point.
00:49:08
Speaker
Marky Mark? Marky Mark. we that would not would have made that Marky Markle made that funky stunk you know if you had that would have been a really awkward with if he just kept his Brooklyn accent for that well after apparently after that one scandal he had with having a mixed race co-lead maybe not anywho yeah
00:49:35
Speaker
Um, yeah, their love was super cringy, super Chloe, very middle school. hot topic. Very, very hot topic, dear God.
00:49:47
Speaker
Um, it felt like a lot of this was, like, hand-stitched together. And not, like, the loving, like, really considerate, intricate way. No, it's, like, my kind of hand-stitched, where it's kind of just slapped together and it technically works. I like your stashes.
00:50:02
Speaker
All my shit's falling apart. If I make something, falls apart. maybe that They're made with love, and that's all that matters. and also Guess what this movie wasn't made with? guess yeah Also, Ruthie, a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts.
00:50:18
Speaker
Hey everyone, Ed's single.
00:50:22
Speaker
That was a quote from fucking Vision and Age of Ultron. I'm aware. I'm very aware. Anywho. Yeah, um... Weak sauce. Weak sauce romance.
00:50:36
Speaker
Was not a fan. um And ah second ago, I was just saying, everything kind of felt slapped together. The villain was kind of messy, because Hector and Ed picked up on his him being like halfway through the movie of like, oh, he can't die?
00:50:54
Speaker
I want that. I don't Kind of felt like he didn't want it. The ending the fight between the two of them was also super giga lame. They just jump through a mirror. Yeah, they jump through a mirror and then a bad guy gets stabbed.
00:51:11
Speaker
That's it. They jump And then he gets dragged by... ah And then he falls in a puddle and he gets demoned to hell. That's it. That's the final fight. Sorry, spoilers. they They took the ending from Princess and the Frog.
00:51:24
Speaker
Bum, bum, bum, bum. Are you ready? Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, also the whisper sweet nothings into their ear was so fucking stupid.
00:51:35
Speaker
I am gonna keep yeah ah That's what it sounded like, guys. It did, it did. Yeah, just demon sounds.
00:51:46
Speaker
Yeah. Most generic demon sounds. I swear I heard that like exact sound clip out of Supernatural. It should have been like in the first omen, there's this scene with the ghost lady, and she goes...
00:51:59
Speaker
Heh. That is the funniest thing ever. It should have just been that. He just goes up to their ears and goes, Heh. And then somebody stabs another. Yeah.
00:52:10
Speaker
yeah It just scares them so much they just fling a knife. It was... It should be the turtle noise. The only noises that turtles make. yeah we had watched We watched this movie in theaters with a big group and when that scene happened there were people there were other people in the theater.
00:52:28
Speaker
We just started cracking up laughing. And it was supposed to be a scary jump scare scene.
00:52:37
Speaker
Nailed it.
00:52:43
Speaker
Yeah, fine. It's not the power part of his power set. I'm fine with that. But like, then Hector brings up the opera girl. It just seems like he's living the fancy lad life.
00:52:55
Speaker
Like he's both Vigo and the son from John Wick at the same time. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Vigo and Theon.
00:53:06
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I remembered a like, I don't think it's the like that I forgot. I just thought it was interesting. So I guess not really a like, but I thought it was interesting that the villain had no idea what was going on. He was like, oh, new thing?
00:53:23
Speaker
That's a thing? I want that. Oh, yeah, that that was that was pretty cool that he's just had no fucking clue what was going on. He's like, wait, he can't die?
00:53:35
Speaker
Wait, wait. Yeah, hold up. His henchmen were more into it were more no knowing what's up than he did. Yeah. It's wild. No, that's actually, I'll take, that's actually a like, I'll take that. in ill Oh, you know would be really cool to not have like Cairo explain the crow thing?
00:53:54
Speaker
Chiron. Chiron explaining the crow thing? Yeah. ah I think a very natural way of like putting it in is just like so at some point in the mental institution, someone else mentions it during the group therapy stuff.
00:54:09
Speaker
Maybe someone else mentions the story of the crow and then you don't have to put Chiron in the fucking movie.
00:54:18
Speaker
i mean, the actor did a good job. I just don't think it's roles redundant. No, it's roles redundant. This role is redundant. You don't need the the... The guy... The wise man explaining to the hero what's going on. Now if he was a skull cowboy... Now if he was a skull cowboy and being a fucking asshole about it... Yes.
00:54:39
Speaker
um Also... For a guy that can't die... And then he knows he can't die. I felt like the fight scenes were very samesy. Yeah. generic.
00:54:50
Speaker
I think the closest thing- The opera scene where he's like, he stabs through himself, that more- then he keeps stabbing through, and then he keeps going back. Yeah. Yeah. yeah I wanted- Not that I wanted to see that- But be more creative with the fighting when you can't die, basically. wanted to see Florida Man high on bath salts fights in this movie.
00:55:17
Speaker
You want to start biting people? Oh my god, can I can i give you one? Sure. Okay, it's gonna be really gory, so heads up everyone. Skip about ten fifteen seconds. Let's say he gets stabbed really bad or shot all over the place of his ribs. He pulls out one of his ribs, stabs a dude with it.
00:55:30
Speaker
Oh, like in Magnus Archives. They do that Magnus Archives? Yeah, there's a guy whose job is, ah he's the bone turner and he turns your bones. And you feel it the whole time. Yeah, but he pulls out his own ribs and and then Yeah, Bone Turner can also pull out your bones.
00:55:45
Speaker
Yeah, no, he'll just reach into your body and he pulls out your bones. this is like the Bone Turner doing it to himself. Yes, and then oh the Bone Turner can do that. And the Bone Turner does do it to himself. He does. ah Damn, I'm not original. Okay, okay. He turns your bones. so yeah Is that the kind of shit you want?
00:56:03
Speaker
That is a very intense version of what I wanted, but yes. I had a worse one. I don't want to hear it. um yeah Or maybe or maybe like when he's fighting in the opera thing, like maybe his hand gets cut off.
00:56:16
Speaker
And he starts beating people with his arm? no No, no, no. It gets cut off at an angle, and then is is his forearm bones are all of a sudden sharp. Yeah. You guys are giving me empathy pains. I had a worse one. I don't want to know. It's stupid. It wouldn't even be bad. but I know, but imagine stu but imagine stabbing somebody with your sharp forearm bones.
00:56:38
Speaker
he He grabs his heart, rips it out, and makes someone choke on it.
00:56:42
Speaker
No. That'd be too much. That's lame. That's stupid. i didn't say it was a good one. I'm just spitballing here. i know. i like I like my sharp forearm bones. Did you hear what Ruthie said? no He rips off his dick and he makes somebody choke on it.
00:56:59
Speaker
Oh, well, no i like ah The octopus, I see. i like my sharp forearm bones one. Isn't that a non-dead unlock? I need to watch that. don't know.
00:57:10
Speaker
And I don't know about the bone one. I would say maybe his arm gets like cut or like broken really badly, but it's still there and he's just holding the other half. Cause like what happens when his arm falls off?
00:57:22
Speaker
Because when he stitches, he could probably just put it back together. could just probably like hold it back together and it just like reheals possibly. It does reheal. Cause it does heal fast. Yeah, but he doesn't get anything cut off.
00:57:34
Speaker
It's always That's the lame bit. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, maybe maybe he gets his arm cut off, sharp forearm bone, stabs somebody, and then grabs his arm, puts it back, and just kind of... He just has to hold it there for a little bit, and then he'll just reattach.
00:57:49
Speaker
Or like maybe at one point he gets discombobulated, banged on the ears and or like he gets super concussed and then he's like, oh, that's a way I can die. That means that's a way you can die. um That's good. could ah He just goes invincible on people, just starts headbutting them.
00:58:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:11
Speaker
He headbutts so hard he concusses to death and then he just sits back up. And then he just sits back up, yeah. Oh my god, I have thoughts on him. They both get TBIs, but he can heal from them.
00:58:23
Speaker
Call an ambulance, but not for me. i keep thinking of Spy Kids when like the dad headbutts someone and he's like, oh, no one wins with a headbutt. I was like eight and line sticks with me. Mm-hmm.
00:58:36
Speaker
Um, yeah, so why don't we just jump into my fixes. Get rid of that opening bit with the horse. Completely useless.
00:58:47
Speaker
Useless. You want to know how I would introduce the ah story of the crow to the audience?
00:58:55
Speaker
It's Shelley talking about an opera that she's working on. ah She's working for a Bad Guy. Bad Guy is owner of Opera. Yeah. And like she's met Eric at a bar and she's like explaining the like mythology of it. And at the end he's been like listening. He's like, I really like the way you talk.
00:59:15
Speaker
That sounds dumb as shit.
00:59:20
Speaker
Oh, that's such a good way to like actually get some kind of chemistry or like some kind of interaction going. That's good. So, I try not to pull from original source material, but I will keep it that Eric is a musician so that he and Shelly definitely have something in common.
00:59:35
Speaker
I'm going to skip the mental institution stuff. They're just unhealthy people who probably have found each other at a time at a point in their lives where they're maybe not as discouraging of each other's vices.
00:59:51
Speaker
they're not quite in the same circles, but they're in enough of this, like, they're in somewhat of the same industry where they get each other. Let me see.
01:00:05
Speaker
With the plot of the movie, so there's the... I would get rid of Dominic, because at this point, Dominic isn't as necessary. I think what would happen, the leading event that would happen to Shelley's death is similar
01:00:26
Speaker
bad guy breaks into their apartment with the goons and I think what's gonna happen is that Shelly is going to try and fight them off first bad guy gets up to her pulls her close we see the demon whispers Eric doesn't get to know that next thing Eric knows Shelly kills him But she he saw that she had fought back against them.
01:00:53
Speaker
Right? Oh, yeah. That'd be a good mystery. He wakes up. There's Chiron. He's like, I have so many questions. Skull Cowboy. Yeah, Skull Cowboy. Skull Cowboy. He's like, are you Chiron from Shelley's Opera? And he's like, I don't give a fuck.
01:01:11
Speaker
You got shit to do. Oh, yeah. And it's Shelley's Opera come to life.
01:01:18
Speaker
Oh. to Did you get... what What? Please. What if she says the plot of the opera and that's what's playing out? Oh, that would be interesting. i Yeah. I thought that's what you're going with it. Not fully. Just like, this is the theme of the opera and then she says the ending, but it's a little different and it's just like a generic sad opera ending. yeah Yeah. Maybe she says that and then he's like, why don't you just have the opera do this?
01:01:42
Speaker
And that is the plot of the movie. Mm-hmm.
01:01:47
Speaker
Fun. Huh? Fun. Yeah. um Yeah, I would make the combat a lot more, like, creative.
01:02:00
Speaker
And I would make the bad guy- i'd keep the fact that he's like, what? New? I want that? and I would make the fight a little less lame.
01:02:13
Speaker
I want him to actually have some, like, teeth. And also I'd make him a little bit more involved in the conversation. Like, in the story. Oh, yeah. so Instead of just having a bajillion goonies for no reason.
01:02:26
Speaker
i feel like his henchmen had more. His henchmen, had a lot of henchmen. His henchmen had henchmen. Yeah. And he's just like an opera guy. I get he's also, like, probably a drug guy. But, like, don't know.
01:02:41
Speaker
Wasn't scratching my itch. Mm-hmm. I don't know, maybe it could involve the other opera singer somehow. Yeah. But yeah, that's what I'd fix. not it's good.
01:02:52
Speaker
That's pretty good. Yeah. It definitely fixed up their relationship a bit, made it less cringe. I took a lot of inspiration. i guess this is going to come up here in a second, but we watched Mickey 17 and Hector was reading something about Narsha and i really loved, I loved Narsha just from the movie, but then somebody put my emotions into words of how good of a character she was.
01:03:17
Speaker
And I wanted that for Shelley. And I think I'm not going to like the original because I feel like lot less of a She's less of a character in the original. Yes.
01:03:28
Speaker
ah She's just there as fridge material. And I understand why, and I'm talking about the movie. And I understand why. No, I'm talking about... Sorry, sorry. I got lost. i pro
01:03:41
Speaker
I don't think I'm going to like the old crow because Shelly is just there to as a fridged character. You know? She starts the movie dead, so...
01:03:53
Speaker
Yeah, but still, her purpose is to be fridged. Yeah.
01:04:01
Speaker
Yeah, we watched Mickey 17 together. but but we Can we rate, before we do that, can we rate this film? D. minus.
01:04:09
Speaker
D minus.
01:04:12
Speaker
The lighting and cinematography save it, but it's... Seeing as it's hard to fucking remember this movie... d think I think I'm gonna go with a D. yeah Because there were parts that at least caught my attention.
01:04:28
Speaker
And the story's cool, even though it's bad. It's still the same generic story that's decent. Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. Watch the old one. no one's I would rate the old one a B+, for sure.
01:04:42
Speaker
Or a Alright, so you're saying... product of its time, though. Rosie was saying, though, Mickey 17. Mickey 17! I really enjoyed that movie.
01:04:54
Speaker
It feels like... it's It's early in the year, i know that. But already it feels like it's gonna be my favorite. It's just... I don't know. It spoke to me. It was beautiful.
01:05:06
Speaker
It might stay my favorite as well. Also, I love how Robert Pattinson does a different voice in every movie he's always in. And it's... in Every time, the one common feature is it's unhinged.
01:05:18
Speaker
It's always unhinged, yeah. All the time. Delusion! That's probably an all-timer, let's be honest. Delusion! I'll be honest, I feel bad because I love Bong Joon-ho films, but that one... i mean, he's similar for his American ones, but this one was just a little...
01:05:35
Speaker
A little different than expected. don't expect that his voice as Mickey's 17 is so high-pitched and like weird. mousy Mousy. So mousy, yeah. But 18's asshole. 18 was almost his Batman voice.
01:05:49
Speaker
Yeah, yeah it's at several points. Yeah. The only time he does is a normal voice. Oh, no. No, he's... No, because in Twilight, it's an American accent.
01:06:01
Speaker
Yes. And then in Tenet, it's his normal voice. speaking goblet of fire it's normal speaking oh really ah so okay yeah okay man i confused goblet fire with chariots of fire i'm like what do you mean he's in chariots of fire yeah he's like what two so there's no there's two movies there's two movies where he does the same accent i guess as far as we know as far as we know i mean i've seen ah i've seen i mean he does that old english in the lighthouse and and It's not old English. It's not old English. It's like ah old Maine.
01:06:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It's some, some, it's a Northeastern. It's a hack you from New England, some New England, uh, old New England accent. Yeah. yeah But he, but wasn't he in Oregon doing logging?
01:06:48
Speaker
No, he was in Maine. No, he was in Canada, then in Maine, if I'm not correct. Oh yeah. He was in Canada doing logging. That's right. Uh,
01:06:58
Speaker
Um, if I can also just do my second one really quick. I made Hector watch Kindergarten Cop, uh, for reasons. Just personal reasons. i really enjoy the movie.
01:07:09
Speaker
I don't know. It just, it makes me happy. And I'm really glad that he enjoyed it. it was a good movie. Yeah. It was really good movie. I was gonna say, I'm superimposing my like, my enjoyment of the movie onto you. You can't back out now. This is podcasting. i'm trying.
01:07:23
Speaker
so Why is it sticky? oh it's got me. Oh! He loves it everywhere. He does a normal American accent in Remember Me. I forgot about that movie.
01:07:36
Speaker
I don't know what he does in The Rover. I wanted to watch The Rover. Oh, that's right. I forgot that i that I saw High Life and you guys couldn't get through it. I saw it. No, I watched all of it.
01:07:48
Speaker
Oh. High Life. it is It is a rough watch. there's a fine fun Fun fact, there's a podcast, Lunatics Radio Hour. we mentioned from the show Friends of the Pod.
01:07:58
Speaker
ah I've been listening to other episodes on space horror. Did they mention High Life? They mentioned High Life, and I immediately went on their Discord was like, do not! Like, do not! This is one of the worst things. I've, like, the weird... Like, I have a tolerance, and it went way past my window of tolerance for this film. Like, guys, be very... careful like it It is a very weird one. It's a movie we were going to do, and then... couldn't finish reach the movie. Ruthie couldn't finish the movie.
01:08:24
Speaker
I had a really hard time finishing the movie, and it was, like, way too dark for this podcast, and Ed even agreed. Like... he didn't put him a fight he was like yeah it was too much like not blaming you anyway yeah i like i to fight after finishing the movie I'm like yeah that's not that's not a good one no and we yeah we the blog for the pod yeah I think it's a fine movie I would recommend it if you're into dark shit, but this one is really fucking weird. See, I've read Berserk and I had and i would have no issues, but this is, this one's the one that like got me. I don't know why. I would recommend Prospect over Highlife for like sci-fi kind of horror.
01:09:05
Speaker
Okay. Prospect with Pedro Pascal, if that does anything for you. I know it does me. mean, we already have Annihilation Natalie Portman if you want sci-fi horror. We have Mandalorian with Pedro Pascal. I know, but theyre well they're on Earth.
01:09:20
Speaker
and that's what Yeah, but it's like an alien Earth. I know, but but in Prospect, they're in a different planet. Alright, so that's your two. Ruthie, Ed, what's your two? My two media?
01:09:31
Speaker
Your two media. And you you already got a freebie because I talked about Mickey 17. ah Yeah. I can't. I did kind of piggyback. But that's fine. it um did you get either So, so any media, all the media I've consumed is pretty bad shit that I've seen.
01:09:50
Speaker
ah So I finally got around to watching the Borderlands movie. No. Yeah, I spent money on renting the movie. Oh, no, I know. We saw it for free. We we saw it for free.
01:10:03
Speaker
It's really fucking bad. i never played the games, but I watched it with my friend who has played the games. And the the lot of the movie was him just telling me how nothing made sense and how things were done better in the movie.
01:10:17
Speaker
i mean are In the games. yeah However, the the c creek Krieg, the ah psycho good guy there, is hilarious. Yeah. And there's a point in the movie where people are talking and Krieg puts his two cents where he just goes, meat bicycle.
01:10:36
Speaker
and um sleep That actually does sound kind of funny. Yeah, and anything he says is always like just like completely unhinged and doesn't make sense in the conversation.
01:10:46
Speaker
And in the game, whenever Krieg is a like involved, you you get to hear his inner monologue. Oh, I've seen that scene, yeah, yeah, yeah. Psychos are crazy, but Krieg, he has a sane brain.
01:11:01
Speaker
His brain is sane, but he can't convey that into words on the outer perspective. I've seen the bit. Yeah, he's like very eloquent. the yeah the but He's extremely eloquent. i've seen I've seen the bit in the game.
01:11:14
Speaker
He's just normal. But like, there's a scene where he sees the the siren lady in Borderlands 2 with the blue hair. And he' like and the internal model is like, oh my god, she's beautiful. I can't mess this up.
01:11:25
Speaker
Please say something nice. And please, for the love of God, don't say anything about poop. And then Creed goes, he's like... I am the conductor of the poop train.
01:11:39
Speaker
Nailed up. I've seen that. So is it that his brain, like... His brain is normal, and but he can't he can't translate that to the outer part.
01:11:51
Speaker
so it always comes out really bad really bad it's really yeah funny and and so listen it's a little sad it's it's it's it's the right kind of humor it's funny it's funny because it's a little sad no the sadness makes it funnier yeah um and i also watched our newest best picture winner i got around to it i saw anora okay over the movies I've seen that have been nominated for Best Picture, which is all of them except for A Complete Unknown, I'm Still Here, The Brutalist, and I think one more.
01:12:26
Speaker
But I've seen Wicked, Dune, Substance, Nora. Yeah, I haven't seen Amelia Perez also either. ah But of the ones I've seen, Nora's the weakest by far.
01:12:38
Speaker
ah really really? Yeah. I believe a Nora is weaker than Wicked. And that's saying something. You did not like Wicked. I did not like Wicked, no. if Of the movies I've seen, of the six I've seen, i still picked Doom Part 2 as the best one there.
01:12:59
Speaker
But The Substance was also really good. And I would be fine with that if that won. um Also Best Picture. but No, we got Nora. it's so I watched it with my parents, which is a bad idea.
01:13:12
Speaker
I was about say, how did that go, bud?
Enhancing Narrative and TV Show Finale
01:13:18
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's just nonsensical and stupid. I almost saw Mickey 17 again. The main girl is so unlikable. Really?
01:13:29
Speaker
Yes. Because she's so immature and stupid about everything. And she like gets with this 20, 19-year-old Russian dude. And she's like 22.
01:13:40
Speaker
And he's also extremely immature and stupid. Fucking like... oh
01:13:47
Speaker
And like, yeah, maybe it's not her fault because she has, she's a, she hasn't a bad life or something. don't know. But like she can, they could have made her a better, more likable, smarter character.
01:14:03
Speaker
But it wouldn't work for the story that they were going for. it was There are a lot of funny scenes. I will say that it's pretty funny sometimes, but it's still the weakest of the bunch. Yeah. I can see that. ah That I've seen.
01:14:16
Speaker
So, my two, my first one, i have been watching Daredevil Born Again, and I... Is it done? no, no, no, no. I think there's three more episodes left.
01:14:27
Speaker
Tell me when it's done so I can rent or get Disney Plus for a month. Yeah. Or you could just binge it this weekend. It's not done yet, though. Yeah, he wants it to be done.
01:14:38
Speaker
Fair enough. Yeah, it's good. It's it's it's pretty
Bill Burr's Comedy Special and Other Media
01:14:42
Speaker
good. i that I think the reshoots they did actually helped. And it seems like the new writers really know what they're doing and how they're making everything work.
01:14:54
Speaker
And having to recycle the old stuff into the new works pretty well. I really dig it. um Agreed. It's been fucking wild. Or not wild, but like, it's different, but I do like it. And I think there's moments where it feels just like the old show and there's times where different and I think the difference is different. Different in good way. Yeah, yeah.
01:15:15
Speaker
Um, that's my first one. What's my second one? Um, let me see here. Oh, I saw the new Bill Burr special, ah Drop Dead Years.
01:15:28
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That was pretty funny. He's still got it. He's too's got it. Um, yeah, I think that's it, really. haven't really seen too much of anything. I've been really busy with school, hence why the delay. Sorry, everyone.
01:15:46
Speaker
But yeah. um Who's next? i I don't know. Let me look back.
Potential Guest and Movie Critique
01:15:55
Speaker
By the way, we did watch Amelia Perez, Hector and I, and we also watched it with Matt Shore of Shorester fame.
01:16:03
Speaker
Is it bad? Made up movies. um Yeah. Yeah, it's real bad. There's two songs I like, and I was actually very surprised that I liked them. But... They nominated the worst songs in one of them won for Oscar, and that fucking pissed me off.
01:16:19
Speaker
Yeah. Also, I found out that the the lady at the Oscars who was singing, Emilio. You did sing, right? What? You did sing? I did sing. So it's it's my turn. It's your turn. But she was the gal who sang the end song in Ratatouille.
01:16:35
Speaker
Ha! Ha ha. Da da da da
01:16:44
Speaker
So I might have a guest coming soon if we can make it work. But if not, Pew. But if not, then the backup will be, uh, help me decide. Craven, should it be Craven Hunter? It should be Craven the Hunter.
01:17:00
Speaker
I've seen that movie. Yeah. so It's bad. In IMAX. He got for free. i had a free IMAX ticket. That's how bad it was. They gave it for free. They were so desperate for ticket sales.
01:17:11
Speaker
We need one person. One fall guy. It was pretty full when I went. was pretty Because it's free. On IMAX. No one's going to say no to free IMAX. I will say.
01:17:27
Speaker
yeah It's pretty bad. the The quarter crew. Uploaded a video that. ah Craven did do. Some weird. ah
01:17:39
Speaker
They like. Paste it on. the girl actress like mouth movements in CG for like inserted lines. It looks really bad. I'll link it Oh, boy. If we watch that movie, but let let me see.
01:17:55
Speaker
So, we're doing Craven the Hunter next time if if we don't can't get that guest going.
Listener Engagement and Episode Conclusion
01:18:02
Speaker
And I'll film the you guys on the guest afterwards because forgot to tell you guys about this. Anyway, hey, everyone, if you could give us five stars, a listen, recommend us to your friends.
01:18:11
Speaker
We do post. We swear. On occasion. We're bad at that. We have a Discord on the description if you want to follow us. And if not, just find us on our social medias and tell us, hey, your link's broken. We'll fix it.
01:18:24
Speaker
We can't tell because we're already in on the thing. Yep. Yeah. um I hope you all have a great day. Maybe be even a great night. A great life, hopefully.
01:18:36
Speaker
Mandatory. Mandatory. Goodbye. Goodbye. goodbye Today's film was The Crow Reboot, directed by Rupert Sanders. The screenplay was written by Zach Braylon and William Snyder, based off the original comic by James Obar.
01:18:50
Speaker
The cinematographer was Steve Annis. Go show some love to their various social media accounts. They made a movie, which is more than we can say here.
01:19:01
Speaker
Lovely audience, I think it's high time we wrap up the Morbiverse. Join us for our next episode on Kraven the Hunter. Goodbye.