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Book Club: The House of My Mother by Shari Franke, Part Two, Part Three
51 Plays19 days ago
Phew. We made it to Part Two, Part Three of Shari's book. We continue tracing the rise of Ruby's empire.
Check out our YouTube channel, Fixate Today: Grey Matters
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Transcript
Introduction to the Interlude
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, everyone. So we just wrapped up ah recording our part two of Sherry Frankie's book, and we went for two hours. So we will be splitting this recording ah to give you guys little shorter chunks because two hours is a lot.
00:00:16
Speaker
So ah we didn't officially, while we were recording, break at any point. So consider this your interlude. And we hope you join us for part two of part two.
Exploitation for Content
00:00:38
Speaker
So on to chapter 13, Busted. okay Sherry, let me shape your brows. Ruby cooed one day, brandishing wax strips.
00:00:49
Speaker
She'd learned some cosmetology tricks from her sisters over the years and was always eager to test out her skills on me and my siblings. But this wasn't just about beauty.
00:00:59
Speaker
It was content, and content was currency. hate this part. Yeah, we're seeing... um really exploiting the children yeah to get contact and i remember somewhere again it's not in this book but i do remember hearing um that that ruby had said at one point that her greatest fear would be waking up and not having yeah content not having what you know what is she gonna do when the kids are older and she doesn't have that um
00:01:32
Speaker
So at this point in eight passengers, um they are just about at a million subscribers and can call themselves actual influencers. Crazy.
00:01:43
Speaker
I know. It's insane. So Sherry's suspicious of this immediately. And Ruby says, come on, it'll be great video for the channel. Give you a hundred bucks.
00:01:54
Speaker
And, you know, what kid's going to turn down a hundred bucks? Yeah. Sherry's like, fine, do my brows. And we just, i know we keep saying it, but the exploitation of the kid just
Eyebrow Incident and Aftermath
00:02:03
Speaker
keeps. getting higher and higher yep so during this video uh ruby basically waxes off half of sherry's eyebrow and of course she is a teenager she is mortified and ruby's like got the camera on zooming in doing this fake thing of like a feeling terrible she says sherry i'm so sorry
00:02:29
Speaker
She exclaimed, her voice quivering with what I'm sure was remorse and definitely not barely contained glee at striking content gold. Ruby had waxed off my left eyebrow, leaving a sharp 90 degree angle that made me look like I was perpetually shocked by my own reflection.
00:02:50
Speaker
So this is where I've got to say, was that an accident? Or did Ruby mean to do it for content? ah I think she meant to do it. And I think it was a punishment of wanting to go to therapy.
00:03:02
Speaker
But. That's what I think. chair So, ah yes, Cherry says she's sorry. There was no. ah Yeah. And then the the the irony is that Sherry says, I don't recall recall ever seeing the $100 either.
00:03:18
Speaker
Yeah, right. Oh, my gosh. So she goes on She says that she and Jake barely saw each other that week. But if he did notice her half missing eyebrow, he was kind enough to stay silent.
00:03:32
Speaker
It's funny. My first romance, now with 50% less eyebrow.
00:03:39
Speaker
So a few weeks after this incident, she comes home from school and Ruby and Kevin are waiting for her, looking very disappointed. They tell her that they are pulling her out of school and that she'll go be transferred to Chad's school.
00:03:55
Speaker
This whole time, it's Ruby talking. Ruby is putting down this consequence for whatever happened. Kevin's just the silent support, it seems. And we find out that Jake's mother called Ruby and said that she's hiding a laptop and communicating with Jake behind everybody's backs.
00:04:16
Speaker
um They've been spending time together. I'm surprised that Jake's mother is Jake LDS. Did they ever say it said he wasn't LDS. ah Yeah.
00:04:27
Speaker
I don't know. My thought was perhaps if after the first time Sherry got caught, Ruby might've reached out to her maybe. Okay. And then as a mother, she knew that that is not what, what Sherry's mom.
00:04:43
Speaker
Yeah. I'm totally making like, I have no idea, but that's the best I can think of. I don't know. But then, I mean, the whole step to pulling her out of school ahha um and changing her and transferring, I mean, it's to Chad's school. And they I don't think they ever really explain why they send Chad to a different school. They never specify that. I'm assuming more structured.
00:05:07
Speaker
Not specifically. egg we We learned there was like some bad behavior at schools, and he probably got moved around a bit. But what a consequence. what It's just so over the top. Yeah.
00:05:19
Speaker
that That age is so difficult. Yeah. Yeah. And, ah you know, they're going back and forth. Sherry doesn't want to switch schools. Ruby just says, you'll like it. It's smaller. It's safer. These kids are bad influences.
00:05:32
Speaker
And right at the end of the conversation, Kevin just says, it'll be much safer environment for you, Sherry.
Sherry's Inner Turmoil
00:05:39
Speaker
And then she says, a familiar sense of powerlessness washed over me.
00:05:43
Speaker
Once again, my life was being reshaped without my consent. My choices stripped away, this time in the name of safety. I asked to be excused and fled to my bathroom, locking the door behind me with trembling hands.
00:05:55
Speaker
My chest constricted with each breath labored struggle against my an invisible weight. The crushing sensation was terrifying, like drowning, drowning on dry land. I knew this unwelcome visitor, a panic attack.
00:06:08
Speaker
I'd had them before, but never quite as bad as this. And we'll see that pattern happen again in these moments, the powerlessness of, of the situation. Because, i mean, I think earlier, what did she say?
00:06:21
Speaker
She knew, i mean, Ruby outright says, the students at your junior high are a bad influence on you. This move is not up for discussion, Sherry.
00:06:32
Speaker
And so she knew it was power. She had no power in this. And she goes internally through this interesting exchange that I thought she beautifully laid out that... One part of her brain is saying, I want to die.
00:06:43
Speaker
And another part is saying, God wants you alive. This is all part of his plan. But then she goes, there's something horribly wrong with me if this is God's plan to hurt this much. And it's just like these intrusive thoughts and her rational brain going back and forth. And ultimately, she so she's in the shower during this panic attack and she.
00:07:03
Speaker
gets out and says as i wrapped myself in a towel a small defiant part of me whispered god loves you sherry it was a faint whisper barely audible but it was there what a beautiful thought yeah it's the it's the thing of like anything to get through that moment but deep faith i guess is is a it's a good start right all right chapter um so we're on to you I just, this is, she's, Sherry's very smart. This is a very interesting chapter title name after this beautiful description of like walking through this panic attack.
00:07:38
Speaker
Chapter 14, Mommy's Little Drama Queen. ah goodness. After the shower panic attack, Kevin had finally been able to convince Ruby that I needed therapy.
00:07:49
Speaker
I'd been going once a week. And while I liked my therapist, Dr. Winters, I'd always, I was always tiptoeing around the truth, terrified Ruby's name might slip out. What if it got back to her somehow?
00:08:01
Speaker
So she can't even be honest in therapy. Which was probably Ruby's main concern. Yeah. From the beginning. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Sherry is sharing something that put Ruby in a bad light.
00:08:15
Speaker
Yeah. And even if she doesn't talk about Ruby, I mean, that's kind of what I think the denial about Sherry's depression was about. It's about Ruby Frankie cannot have a depressed child. That's insane.
00:08:26
Speaker
They're perfect. She's perfect. It's imperfect. Yeah. And so it took a while for Sherry to even be honest about those intrusive thoughts she's having. um And she gets to that point and, you know, she says that She can't talk to anybody about it.
00:08:41
Speaker
And she doesn't say because of Ruby, but she just says she she's like, I can't go to my family with this. And she's having some serious thoughts of harming herself. ah Yeah.
00:08:53
Speaker
Yeah. The therapist invites Ruby for a session that Sherry is really struggling to tell her mother that she doesn't want to do piano anymore. So at the session, like, it's a big deal. She takes a deep breath and she just says, I don't want to do piano.
00:09:09
Speaker
And ready for an explosion. But Ruby just said, okay, Sherry, you don't have to play piano and we never have to talk about it again. Yeah. There's this, like, weird sense of relief.
00:09:21
Speaker
But then it was like, this isn't good. Relief but fear. Because she knows that there's more to it and that oh yeah Ruby was not going to take that lightly. Nope.
00:09:33
Speaker
So she said I was bracing myself for the backlash.
00:09:38
Speaker
It just feels like all of their interactions, and not on Sherry's part, but they're like a game. Everything is like chess. that Sherry is anticipating every move, but Ruby is too.
00:09:53
Speaker
So Ruby's in there going, she did this on purpose. She did this in therapy in front of the therapist. So I couldn't be honest with it. And Sherry's probably like, I did this in therapy because I need a safe place to do this.
Adjusting to New School Life
00:10:06
Speaker
And okay yeah, it's just like game is the wrong. It's like a battle. It's just this like strategic battle that they're all stuck in.
00:10:17
Speaker
And in front of people, Ruby always does say the... Right thing. The acceptable thing. yeah Right. Right.
00:10:27
Speaker
But Sherry always realizes there's more to come. Yep, exactly. um We drove home without a word and I went straight to my room, which I shared with my youngest sister.
00:10:42
Speaker
She kind of goes on to talk about ah at the sister's being um a sense of comfort yeah to each yeah other she felt safe her she felt safer with her like baby sister she's not a baby anymore but like the littlest and i think that's really sweet um she's a tiny guardian angel who could make even her darkest nights feel a little less lonely
00:11:10
Speaker
um So we come to another journal entry that says, i'm shutting down more and more often i can't help it even though my silence really triggers mom she seems to think that if i'm quiet i have a bad attitude the truth is i'm quiet because i'm irrevocably and undeniably hate myself And I have for a while.
00:11:29
Speaker
She doesn't know I cried on my bed for an hour today. That I'm full of disgust when I look in the mirror. That I'm trying so hard to hold on. I just have to remember my last day won't would be my worst.
00:11:41
Speaker
So she's faking through everything. Now, I will say, ah what she's in junior high, right? Around age 14. I think so. I do think every child at that at that age feels that way. Yes. Yes.
00:11:55
Speaker
Yes, I agree. Ruby has certainly not made it easier, but also, like I mean, I don't know any 14-year-old who just thinks, all right, things are great. I'm feeling great about myself. Yeah. so yeah There is, it it is ah some of her feelings I think are just normal.
00:12:14
Speaker
Which I do, i agree with that because as we go on in the book, there are still horrific things happening to her when she's in college, but she's Not in that shes she's more willing and able to fight back.
00:12:31
Speaker
And work through on. Than it's not like the depression's not swallowing her. She is struggling. She is. But it doesn't feel as hopeless in those later chapters.
00:12:43
Speaker
Yeah. She doesn't feel as hopeless, I should say. Yeah. Yep. I agree. Now she, i mean, thoughts of harming herself, i think, ultimately.
00:12:54
Speaker
that isnt those are that's extreme. I don't think a normal, hate to use the word normal, but your average you know junior high kid, I think they're theyre having issues.
00:13:04
Speaker
It's a rough time, but I do think that the thoughts of harming oneself um definitely is beyond what would be considered normal and and definitely in need therapy.
00:13:16
Speaker
yeah And or medication, and they never really talk about medication. Yes. Yeah, that's what I was just going to say. um I imagine medication is even more looked down upon to Ruby than therapy a alone. I can't imagine that she would be okay with that. That would be ah now true admission of her weakness or failure.
Introspection and Critical Thinking
00:13:36
Speaker
yeah Yeah.
00:13:38
Speaker
ah Sherry starts at Chad's school and he's a bit resentful at first because this is his big sister coming in where he's like established himself as like a cool popular guy. And you can see that.
00:13:49
Speaker
You can definitely see that. And and Sherry is definite ah definitely up front with the fact that she is a nerd. She's she's the kid in the corner reading a book.
00:14:00
Speaker
Yeah, and he like picks on her in a brotherly little way in the hallway. Like she's not offended by it. it's just like how they interact. um He teases her for how excited she is about starting Lord of the Rings in her English class.
00:14:13
Speaker
And, you know, she she says she's always been a little bit jealous of how laid back hughs he is. And he just makes friends and has kind of an easy time of it. Well, we are so different on the surface.
00:14:26
Speaker
I'm sorry. We are so different on the surface. While I was laser focused on my studies, Chad was the budding athlete, was making his name on the football field, setting numerous records for the 100-yard dash.
00:14:40
Speaker
The possibility of a sports scholarship loomed large in his future. So she's proud of him. Yeah. but You know, that they are not the same, but she's she's definitely proud of our brother. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
00:14:56
Speaker
And I think there's a closeness that goes both ways. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So Sherry goes on to her class. She's super pumped for Lord of the Rings. And her teacher starts, you know, she starts answering questions right away.
00:15:10
Speaker
And they talk about, like, the symbolism of the ring and the Lord of the Rings. And it's not that the ring itself is evil. The object is neutral. It's what people choose to do with that object that brings on the goodness or the badness so the ring corrupts gollum and it's to she says it's tolkien reminding us to never let our selfishness consume us until we lose sight of what really matters and all she's thinking of is her mother so like this means nothing to me and i've never read this um have you read the lord of the rings and does that resonate with you anyway i haven't read it i've seen the movies i know the story um
00:15:52
Speaker
I'm not. I'm sorry. I'm going get this is where I'm going to get the hate comments. I'm not a big Tolkien fan. OK. I'm sorry, guys. i I value you and appreciate your fandom. It's not for me. but You do understand the kind of thinking, the symbolic yeah she appreciates.
00:16:07
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, absolutely. So the correlation she's making is Ruby and her phone. Her phone is not an object for good or bad. The person using the phone is what makes it an object for good or bad.
00:16:22
Speaker
The phone itself is inherently neutral. It can't choose to be good or bad. um And Ruby has made that phone very bad.
00:16:33
Speaker
i would never have that deep of a thought about. There's two different kinds of brains. that that' Right, exactly. ah That's everything I read. I'm like, okay, I need to back off. This doesn't have symbolism.
00:16:49
Speaker
like Some things are straightforward. See, whereas I, everything's conspiracy. Okay, let me look into this. There's more to it.
Invalidation and Mental Health Struggles
00:16:58
Speaker
And the teacher asks what the antidote to this, you know, selfishness, the capacity for evil is. And she says, love and kindness.
00:17:06
Speaker
And then class ends with the knowledge that love and kindness can win over evil to come home. ah She had therapy later. She wanted to eat something.
00:17:18
Speaker
And ah Ruby just appeared and kind of sat down and had a weird smile. And she says, great news. I had a chat with Dr. Winter. She thinks you're fine. You don't have to come to therapy anymore.
00:17:29
Speaker
You graduated. don't know. That upset Sherry. Yeah. She... Number one, she didn't believe that that is what the therapist actually said.
00:17:40
Speaker
ah And I mean, she put it, ah it wasn't that long ago that I shared my thoughts of suicide with her. ahha Yes, Ruby said, her eyes bright with emotion.
00:17:54
Speaker
I couldn't quite place, you're fine. You're not around Jake and you don't have a smartphone. You're good. So it was about those external actions or taking away those objects or ideas or that Ruby saw as the answer, not the inner emotion.
00:18:15
Speaker
Yeah. And Sherry immediately knows this is punishment for piano. And she says, Mom, I'd like to carry on if I can. I said, pushing my bowl away.
00:18:26
Speaker
Ruby's smile faltered for a moment. Listen to me, Sherry. The doctor thinks you're a very well-adjusted girl with, how do I put it, an active imagination. Wait, she thinks I'm making this up?
00:18:38
Speaker
Mommy's little drama queen is looking for attention, Ruby said, reaching out to ruffle my hair. I flinched, but she didn't seem to notice. What a demeaning... in thing to do and even if it was a smaller subject but on mental health yep that's I'm surprised she survived this yeah like and then says my little therapy experiment was over and this family the only safe emotion was no emotion at all because she's at this point not really ah i mean she may be going to the bishop we don't know how often
00:19:17
Speaker
But she really doesn't have any confidant, anyone. No. You know, somewhat Kevin at this point still. But even Jake, like, his mom called Ruby.
00:19:29
Speaker
He's not necessarily safe. And not because of him, not because he did anything wrong, but who else could just call over there or, you know, reach out and say, Sherry did this, is she okay?
00:19:43
Speaker
And then get in trouble for it. She has no true privacy.
00:19:48
Speaker
So the last chapter of part two is called 1 Million Followers. That same month, I started my new school, September 2017. Ruby hit a huge milestone.
00:20:00
Speaker
Her subscriber base had reached 1 million, two and a half years after launching her channel. I remember the day well because I happened to be sick in bed, fighting what felt like either mono or strep when Ruby's familiar vlog voice drifted through my closed door.
00:20:16
Speaker
Oh, you can just hear it. You can just hear it. And, and, Sherry, honey, she called out her tone saccharine sweet. Are you throwing up? Can you imagine?
00:20:28
Speaker
my gosh. I find nothing worse than being nauseated and vomiting. I would rather be... Personally, I would rather be in pain. you can And it's just like she knows what to do. She, like, even sick snaps to it and is like, all right, I got to groan and play the part of being sick when I'm actually sick.
00:20:52
Speaker
Yeah. So they were driving to the doctor because Sherry had something. And as they were driving... They hit the million subscriber mark, so they pull over and Ruby does this big celebration in the car with her daughter so sick.
00:21:07
Speaker
And it turns out that Sherry did have mono. She says not because of the kissing she was doing, because there wasn't much kissing anymore. But she had been spending time with a new boy named Mark. And she says, our quote relationship, if you could call it that.
00:21:21
Speaker
It's just like awkward and seemed not like Jake. Now, it wasn't all that that big feelings. It was just like, yeah, I'll hang out with him. Yeah, it was kind of a flirty friendship.
00:21:33
Speaker
But just talked about Ruby for for one minute. I found this interesting when they hit the million subscribers. She said, it's perfect hitting this milestone while doing the little things.
00:21:46
Speaker
That's what makes mothers powerful. In her mind, buying Chad's cheese, mailing a package, driving me to the doctor, they were all her superpowers, everyday acts that built her empire. And I found that you know on one side, as a mother, I can see how she's saying it was empowering and that, you know, and mothers every day.
00:22:10
Speaker
um Activities are – and of themselves are powerful, and but it doesn't seem real. and it Yeah. Yes, on one level, that is what what she's feeling, but on another level, it's exploiting those things in life. and And it's also with an air of ah she does this better. Yeah.
00:22:31
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I want – I don't think like me sending a package she would not see as a superpower. Just like a regular person like myself.
00:22:42
Speaker
not It's not a superpower for me. Yep, yep. And oh, while they're at the, and I think they call it Instacare. ah For some reason, you know, ah Sherry was having a moment where she smiled about something.
00:22:54
Speaker
And Ruby says, you can't smile while you're in the Instacare, Sherry. ah Ruby chided, her voice a mixture of playfulness and command.
00:23:05
Speaker
You're supposed to look like you're on your deathbed. So it's acting. I mean, and it's pushing her act. Yep. So as she's discussing Mark, she goes back and a little bit into her history of she likes making out.
Identity Exploration and Family Expectations
00:23:21
Speaker
Well, she did at that age.
00:23:24
Speaker
She's like noncommittal just for fun. Well, once again, normal, once you have your first ah ah physical relationship of any sort, you realize feelings that you didn't even know were there.
00:23:37
Speaker
You think those feelings are what love really feels like. And it's validation for her, yes somebody caring about her and someone desiring her. And I think she said she went on little bit of a kissing spree.
00:23:54
Speaker
Yes. But she says that's where this new boy Mark came in because he didn't want to kiss. And so it was like she, it would help her with her guilt for all the kissing. Yeah.
00:24:05
Speaker
So, yeah, her and Mark would go on dates. Not a boyfriend, like, but they go on dates. yeah Yeah. But they never would call it. yeah I mean, what I would call it is a flirty friendship and a positive thing.
00:24:19
Speaker
Yeah. But then, again, how embarrassing. This becomes fodder and basically thumbnails for eight passengers.
00:24:30
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yep. And it's it show it's one of those moments ever of Ruby's hypocrisy and that the family rule is not to date till 16. But if I can use it for the channel, it's, you know, it's fine. And maybe in this case, though, because they're not really dating and they don't have a physical relationship.
00:24:50
Speaker
It's not as bad. Yeah. um It's not real. So then, and you know, talking about it, you know, at Sherry's, you know, Sherry's crush or Sherry's boyfriend ah made for clickbait titles, even if I didn't, even if they didn't align with reality on our family's rule of not having boyfriends until 16.
00:25:11
Speaker
But he wasn't really a boyfriend. So maybe. right So it was sort of okay. Yeah. Yeah. kind of left the perfect opening for Ruby to jump in there and and use that. ah The next part is and maybe I'm a traveler, so ah this meant a lot to me or this was powerful for me.
00:25:31
Speaker
And they were talking about their summer, their winter vacations always being where they go skiing. And when she describes this, it truly sounds like a happy memory. Yeah.
00:25:46
Speaker
Yeah. With her family yeah every year. Every sense of it. You know, being competitive, getting up early, fully utilizing the full days, kind of pressing or pushing themselves ah against each other. And did. I mean, that was one area. that or one one i didn't There was nothing negative, I believe, in her memories of that.
00:26:08
Speaker
Yeah. But she also doesn't mention Ruby in that memory. True. Yeah, I yeah didn't think about that. I just realized that looking through it again. It's like there's no mention of her mother in this family vacation.
00:26:20
Speaker
So one day after their family trip, she decides she wants to make a video called Sherry competes in the Olympics. And it was just like the silly skit about snowboarding in her backyard.
00:26:31
Speaker
Because she wasn't the best snowboarder. And it was just like being silly and making fun of herself a little bit. And Kevin was in the video. He was like playing along. It felt like a kid doing a skit being like, okay, dad, you say this.
00:26:45
Speaker
And finding her own niche like for video making. Like this is completely different. Yeah. She like used Photoshop. Yeah. Yeah. yeah And she was really proud of herself and had a lot of fun doing it and saw her, her talents in putting, she calls it her magnum opus, my citizen Kane.
00:27:08
Speaker
And it wass just like, she's like, it's cringy. It's not filmed well, but it was, she was really proud of it. Yeah, she was. I'd gotten pretty good at vlogging at this point. Um, and, uh,
00:27:20
Speaker
Yeah, again, I think she does it differently than her mother and she's proud of that. She would do more formal Q&A videos um where I'd sit on the couch and you know talk about ran i like answer random questions about school routines and just about her life.
00:27:38
Speaker
Um, and it was pretty wholesome. So on her 15th birthday, Ruby gave her a new tripod for her camera for content creating. Um, she says Ruby filmed the whole present unwrapping thing.
00:27:52
Speaker
Um, and that a passengers was getting close to 2 million. And so you needed that content. Um, so what in some ways seem like a, um, special moment for her mother and an acknowledgement of her success.
00:28:07
Speaker
But everything kind of has this secondary. Yeah. There's always, it's never genuine. There's always a, there's always a string. There's always a motive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:18
Speaker
And this is the point though, when Ruby did say, um that and i i'm assuming this is on camera yes oh yeah oh yeah yes she's almost at a hundred thousand subscribers give her some love so she finally gets her shout out she did this on our note her own um i did not shout her out once on instagram on my chat on my channel so yep she's proud of her but ruby's also sort of proud of herself oh yeah it's
00:28:50
Speaker
I didn't help her at all. It's packaged as, yeah, she did this on her own and that's great. But yeah, you do get a feeling that yeah Ruby's kind of proud of herself. Yeah.
00:29:02
Speaker
Yeah. So she gets her shout out. And then after the video, Ruby breaks it to her. I'm taking 10% off the top for management fees. So shocking.
00:29:14
Speaker
She says, you really think you would have ever started a youtube channel let alone a successful one without my help you owe me sherry business is business i felt a knot form in my stomach on one hand my mom had a point mom had a point her influence had undeniably boosted my channel on the other this felt like she was cashing into my hard work but as usual what could i do nothing And she couldn't.
00:29:37
Speaker
yeah And at this point, couldn't be financial, right? I mean, Ruby's bringing in a lot on her own. She doesn't need that. I think it's probably... i my guess is it's...
00:29:47
Speaker
ah and control of. I think they even call it the mom tax. Yeah. We have another journal entry and I'm, we're a bit, both a bit further along in reading the book than ah we are in like what we're sharing today, but we're introducing who will become a very, very important figure in Sherry's life.
Finding Solace Outside Home
00:30:08
Speaker
um And I actually forgot when we meet him back here that it's the same person later. Okay. A hundred percent, a hundred percent being honest. I didn't realize, I didn't realize that.
00:30:19
Speaker
Yep, it took me reading the book twice. All right, yeah. It took me reading the book twice and I still didn't get it. I talked with my teacher, Mr. Heyman, today. I asked how I could better my relationship with my parents. He knows I can't have deep conversations with them.
00:30:34
Speaker
He said eventually, I'll have to tell my mom I want a better relationship. He was kind and understanding and really listened to what I had to say. Now I'm jealous of Mr. Heyman's kids because I wish I could have a parent like him.
00:30:48
Speaker
ah What a thought. What sad thought. But good that she had him to be able to turn to. yeah to And ah yeah, she even said and that she found herself lingering in Mr. Heyman's classroom.
00:31:02
Speaker
Something about his patient demeanor made her feel safe. Yeah. and And she's honest with him about how things are at home. And she even surprises herself that she feels like she can open up to him. Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:17
Speaker
And he acknowledges that. He doesn't try to like dismiss her feelings or fix them. He just says, this must be so incredibly difficult for you. I think he true. And I think that was very genuine. I think he truly understood that about her. He truly saw it.
00:31:35
Speaker
Yeah. It was. Yeah. So she's finally found. a yeah She's she threw out the book. Now that we're a little bit further ourselves, I'm reminded like she has to find adult or authority figures that are beyond her mother's reach.
00:31:52
Speaker
Yes. yeah so Yeah, good point. You know, like even when she does get into therapy, it has to be outside of her mother's knowledge. And it's she texts with her neighbors. Like she she figures out ways to have interactions with adults or and even relationships with adults that Ruby can't touch. Good point. I mean, even going back to Jake's mother, she has to be careful to be able to write to find these these people she can trust.
00:32:23
Speaker
And yeah that trust, as we'll see later, can be can be to her disadvantage, can make her naive to certain people's intentions.
00:32:34
Speaker
But ah Mr. Heyman is not one of those people. And he truly does care about her and it helps her feel lighter and like the world is going to – gives her a little bit more positive view of the world in general.
00:32:49
Speaker
um And gives her something to hope for. yeah So in the meantime, Chad is becoming more and more isolated. um He's been acting, he keeps acting out at school and eventually he's actually like fully expelled.
00:33:02
Speaker
I feel for him because it always seems like it's always his clownish behavior and defiance, but it never seems like he does yeah truly bad, evil things.
00:33:16
Speaker
It's more pranks and Being goofy and... Yeah. Well, she says... Oh, where'd go? It only took a few more missteps, each as boneheaded as the last, before Chad found himself on the wrong side of the school's gates, expulsion papers in hand.
00:33:34
Speaker
i like Like, it's just dumb things. Like, he's not thinking through, which is perfectly normal for a teenage boy, is not knowing... Like not being able to understand the consequences of actions and being impulsive.
00:33:48
Speaker
and But it doesn't seem like Ruby and or Kevin can appreciate or understand that that is what it is. It's misbehavior. Yeah, I can 100% see my ADHD son, whose biggest problem is impulsivity, like doing dumb things like this.
00:34:08
Speaker
But if a kid is going to misbehave in a way... To me, this is the best way. I mean, this is not, there's there's no evil intent. There's no bad intent. It's, yeah. tend to Attention seeking, maybe?
00:34:23
Speaker
That's what I was going to say. I do feel like some of this is like rooted in you know, came out in Sherry and depression and anxiety. And this is ah acting any attention, even negative attentions, attention.
00:34:37
Speaker
And there's probably ah an understanding that they're not going to want to put this on camera. So he's going to get negative attention from his parents, but it's attention without a camera. But on camera, it's content.
00:34:51
Speaker
Yep. People are drawn to seeing Chad. I think he's a pretty handsome person. fellow so um the younger people enjoy him and yeah it's it's still content but even at that it's content but it's they're not okay with it and and you wonder what part of of the discipline that's going to come here in the future is again showing ruby's parenting And how she deals through these situations.
00:35:21
Speaker
And um maybe even more dramatized based on having content. Yeah. Then we have the big family vacation that sort of is the last straw with
Consequences and Family Discipline
00:35:35
Speaker
Chad. Yeah. ah Which actually is kind of funny.
00:35:38
Speaker
So they had a brand collaboration with Universal Studios. and Holly, which is a big deal. I mean, this is in August 2018. And yeah, so they have this brand collaboration, ah full, like all paid um vacation for the whole family to Universal Studios.
00:35:59
Speaker
Obviously, they needed to take some some pictures and it's being documented, you know, for the collaboration. Yeah. It's very curated. But Chad starts ruining some of Ruby's plans.
00:36:13
Speaker
He starts being himself. Yeah. He's like photobombing and he's making faces. And she says he's being an absolute punk. she's He's ruining the picture-perfect family content.
00:36:28
Speaker
And so he got sent to the hotel room while the rest of the family enjoyed the trip. However, he snuck out of the hotel. Well, and I think, you know what? That's all in how they, think they could have approached it. Like, I think it could have been cute and funny. Yeah. And they could have approached it that way versus be considering it misbehavior and punkishness. Yeah.
00:36:53
Speaker
Something i needed to be punished, but. Yep. And so he somehow managed to sweet talk his way back to the, to the park, to Universal Studios and had like the best day ever by himself.
00:37:06
Speaker
Which I love. i know. It's so, I know. But he did not beat his parents back. They got to the hotel first and were waiting for him. And this is like the switch for both Ruby and Kevin, I think.
00:37:22
Speaker
um That he was, Chad was some kind of juvenile delinquent and he needed to be reprogrammed. Which is, it is hard for me to understand.
00:37:34
Speaker
Yep. Yeah. So they... And I don't think they understood it either. Well, given how they responded to Sherry, they don't understand a lot of how their kids could not be perfect and fine.
00:37:47
Speaker
But they took hit they kept taking him to doctors to get a diagnosis of something. And if if they weren't happy with it, they would take him to a different doctor and try to get him diagnosed with something.
00:37:59
Speaker
Try to get him fixed. Yeah. You can't fix somebody when it's just their personality. Right. It's just right is who they are. Right. And so they were desperate to find somebody. They said a Chad whisperer, someone aggressive enough to break through his defenses.
00:38:16
Speaker
They were on a mission to find the perfect person to crack his code and rewire him to their liking, which is how the monster came into our lives. A monster named Jodi Hildenbrand.
00:38:29
Speaker
Yep. That is the end of part two. Part three, we'll start learning a little bit more about this monster. Yeah. Yeah.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:38:37
Speaker
All right. Well, thank you guys for joining us for the second part of our book club.
00:38:41
Speaker
um If you like it, let us know. ah if you have ideas for books you'd like us to talk about, let us know. We're going to try to keep it in like kind of the wheelhouse of our content, um but sometimes not. Sometimes if if you guys suggest something and we're both into it, we'll just, we'll take a look at it.
00:38:56
Speaker
Yeah. And hopefully you if you're reading along, we'd love to hear comments. I guess even if you're not reading along, we'd love to hear your comments and about how you feel about this whole situation. and it if you knew about this story and also from um the past. Yeah. so Yeah.
00:39:13
Speaker
But yeah, you can always – also this was like kind of the first big series we did on the podcast and then we revisited it. So if you want to hear our takes on things, go check out the podcast, Fixate Today Gone Tomorrow. All right.
00:39:24
Speaker
Thanks, guys. Have a good one. right. Bye.
00:39:37
Speaker
you