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Ep. 240 – The Book of Mormon: Ancient Preamble to a Modern Hustle
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This week we’re blazing through a few more short books within the Book of Mormon! A fella can take some serious liberties when creating his own lore from scratch, and in this portion we’ll look at the introduction of a specific type of prophetic figure: the seer. Enjoy the episode!
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Transcript
Introduction and Setting the Stage
00:00:00
Speaker
So he goes on a little bit later and he says, and i bear record that the people of nephi did seek diligently to restore the lamanites unto the true faith in god but our labors were in vain their hatred was fixed and they were led by their evil nature that they became wild and ferocious and a bloodthirsty people full of i drt idolatry and filthiness, feeding upon beasts of prey, dwelling in tents and wandering about in the wilderness with a short-skinned girdle about their loins and their heads shaven. wasn in their It wasn't fingertip length?
00:00:41
Speaker
It was not. They dressed so slutty.
00:01:03
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Grown Up Christian. I'm Casey. I'm Sam.
Strange Encounters: Mice and Ticks
00:01:08
Speaker
And, uh, okay, so what was it, a couple weeks ago that that we were like mid-conversation and all of a sudden you're like, there's a is something there's a mouse in my ah in my basement.
00:01:20
Speaker
Crawling up my shorts. Dude, so today I was like, dude, I took the day off so I could hang out with my nephew who's in town this week. nice. And, uh, I came in from the garage and I was doing something. I had headphones in and stuff. I was kind of distracted or whatever. And I just saw like movement out of the corner of my eye and I look up and like, so we've got a sliding door in the back of our kitchen, you know, that goes out into the backyard and there's like a wooden banister thing above it.
00:01:49
Speaker
And I look up there and there's just like, like eyes and ears, just like peeking above the banister, just staring at me. just like I love the way mice do that. when i i think i I don't know if I mentioned it here, um but my shed had mice. and Every single time I roll my riding lawnmower into it, like I ride in and it's just a little train of mice. Three of them just kind of run out of their nest and then just on the top beam and just stare at me like, what the fuck?
00:02:23
Speaker
It's like And they're so cute. And they' look they're shaking and shit, too. It's so cute. I i hate that they're so terrible. Like, get when I first moved in, I was like, I don't want to kill them.
00:02:35
Speaker
And now I'm like, I need to kill every single one of them. Yeah, they're destructive and and filthy. they're like They just don't belong in a house. They're cute outside.
00:02:46
Speaker
Yeah. And even um i had when I was putting my dryer vent in, i had to take down this like little section of, you know, three foot section of insulation came down and I left it down.
00:02:58
Speaker
um And it's it's covered in mouth shit and piss now. Like, ah I'm wondering if he borrowed in there and just died of fiberglass inhalation. I'm like, I don't really want to like look into it, but...
00:03:12
Speaker
like he could It's nasty in there. I mean, I couldn't imagine he mistook it for a warm, comfortable place to lay his head for the night. Dude, nature is is really turning against me right now.
00:03:24
Speaker
yeah Last night we were like, and let's take a walk. Let's go out in the backfield. We haven't been out there in a while. So we take off with the dogs and start walking through and we made it, I don't know.
00:03:35
Speaker
a hundred yards in and we're like looking at flowers and stuff like that. I look down and I've got seed ticks all over me. Oh, God, dude, you've so shown me pictures, like, you've sent me pictures of ah what what happens when you walk through those. That's their that's ah that's one of my worst nightmares is just it those pictures. It's awful.
00:03:57
Speaker
There are, like, hundreds of It's so... It's just the worst. It's like you can't... You can barely see them, so, like, you're trying to get them off, but, like, you like you can't see them, you know?
00:04:08
Speaker
And so we start looking around, and, like, you know, before when I've seen him like on me, I've caught him when I first walked into him um this time, I didn't notice right away. So I was like, I had him like all up and down me.
00:04:22
Speaker
ah So we like got the lint roller out and started getting the loose ones off, you know, but I'd already been bitten a bunch of times and both April and I and both dogs are just covered in them.
00:04:34
Speaker
That's so terrible. How, um, So they they they those those ones move pretty quick. It's not like you're like your average tick then. like I feel like ticks move real slow.
00:04:45
Speaker
They're really small, so like it takes them a while to spread out and whatnot, but dude, I had them all over me. and yeah Check this out. I'm just like covered in little red spots.
00:04:57
Speaker
I probably, after getting all the loose ones off, I probably had 30 or 40 of them that had already bit me. Oh, that's so disgusting. They don't, um, seed ticks don't carry, do they carry diseases ever?
00:05:11
Speaker
I don't know. I mean, I don't think so because I don't remember what the process is where they pick up Lyme disease, but they have to like bite a deer first and then it's at some stage of development. They can carry it and transmit it.
00:05:25
Speaker
Okay. They also have to be stuck to you for a little while to really transmit it. So I don't know. I don't think that's a problem. I mean, and I got them all off right away, but. Oh, I just hate them.
00:05:36
Speaker
You'll find out so you realize that you're having a hard time remembering things in a couple of years. Yeah, it's just I'll blame Alzheimer's on ah early on baby ticks.
00:05:51
Speaker
So what else is in the news?
Miami Pastor's Immigration Fraud Scheme
00:05:54
Speaker
Oh, my God. So i was doing this for this podcast. There are times where I'm just like,
00:06:02
Speaker
What could I got to there's got to be an interesting story out, right? um That's in line with what we like to poke fun at here.
00:06:13
Speaker
And the past few weeks, I just every like few days, I just Google pastor arrested and then just hit click on news and then sort by like most recent.
00:06:24
Speaker
Always something new. Every couple of days, there's something new. um So I thought it might be fun. to just weekly, ah semi-weekly, you know, when you know when it ah comes to mind, I suppose, to just, while we're sitting here together, to to Google ah pastor arrested and see what comes up.
00:06:50
Speaker
So i got, yeah, that too. Every like two days or something, there's like some from like, less than 20 hours ago.
00:07:02
Speaker
But ah this one right here, this one stuck out to me. I noticed this one the other day, ah yesterday when I was just... you know seeing what's up in the world of pastors.
00:07:15
Speaker
cause it One thing we've learned on this show is there's there's no shortage of schemes concocted by pastors. I don't know if... that's Pastors deserve the American dream too. and yeah What is the American dream but like a really good scam?
00:07:31
Speaker
That's really what... I just um i just watched ah John Oliver did a segment on just like that AI slop that's everywhere. um And he there were some videos that he like shared of people who are one of the areas that's just like infested with um just AI garbage now is Pinterest.
00:07:53
Speaker
ah So they were just talking about how it's moved from a website where people could share their pictures and creative ideas. And now it's just like overrun with like quote unquote ideas. and it's just like, look at this beautiful room. And it's just it's all AI generated horseshit.
00:08:08
Speaker
And Then it's like the all these videos of people now who who are trying to just, you you pay them like whatever, 50 bucks for their little online class, whatever. And it's like how to generate AI images that will generate some sort of income for you based on the amount of clicks it gets and stuff like that.
00:08:29
Speaker
Anyway. It sucks. ah I don't know why I just went on that little ah ah trail off, but um yeah, I don't know what, I don't know what connection my brain made and why I started moving that direction. I don't know. better Let's hear your story.
00:08:43
Speaker
Yeah. All right. Oh yeah. Just because that's just another great scam. It's just like everything's it's all like now it's just building business off of fake business. Like nothing's real anymore.
00:08:56
Speaker
ah But yeah, Speaking of not real, um a Miami pastor, alleged fake immigration attorney, was charged in $21,000 fraud scheme.
00:09:07
Speaker
It's a Miami pastor and an alleged unlicensed, it's more than alleged at this point, um A Miami pastor and alleged unlicensed immigration attorney faced felony charges after authorities said they defried at least 16 victims out of more than $21,000, according to Miami-Dade Sheriff's Office.
00:09:29
Speaker
um So, yeah, the two men is ah Nelson ah David Ocha Vasquez and Isma Gonzalez. They were arrested immediately.
00:09:41
Speaker
ah following investigation into a month-long scheme involving fraudulent immigration services. said the men operated the fraud ah between April of 24 and January of 25.
00:09:54
Speaker
Ocha allegedly used his church, La Iglesia de Dios... to connect victims to Gonzales. So they funneled it to the Eastern European.
00:10:07
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. They falsely claimed to be immigration attorneys and ah would said that they would help them obtain driver's licenses and work permits. So they would take their money. ah Now the money they would request that they were either paid in cash or paid on Zelle.
00:10:26
Speaker
um First red flag there. ah I don't know what attorneys operate off the books like that, but that's the thing. As pastor,
00:10:37
Speaker
as a pastor you're kind of keyed into ah people's vulnerabilities. You hit them, you kind of sell them, ah you sell to their desperations.
00:10:48
Speaker
Yeah. You're worried about getting deported. I'll help you not get that. Yeah, exactly. and seems like a very short term scam though. Like what was the, uh,
00:11:00
Speaker
What was the exit ramp for this? Because you either provide him a driver's license or you don't. I know, dude. It's so half-cooked. Now he's going to jail. Like $21,000. I've been looking at used cars quite a bit. $21,000 won't even buy you a low-mileage compact SUV. Yeah.
00:11:16
Speaker
and And on top of that, $21,000 for a year long scam is kind of a terrible scam. Yeah. the idea like You either want to get a lot of money and then just take off, right? You get like, you know, a hundred thousand dollars, even in the grand scheme of scams. Like when you look at the risk versus the reward, like you probably get more time for pretending to be an attorney than you do for stealing $21,000. Probably. Yeah.
00:11:43
Speaker
probably um Aren't most attorneys pretend attorneys? i mean, when it comes down to it. The the ah this subpoenaed bank records showed that the Zelle payments were deposited into a Truist account, where Gonzalez was listed as the sole authorized signer.
00:12:05
Speaker
Funds from the account were spent on... Really covered his tracks. Yeah, I know. Wow, that took one pivot. Yeah.
00:12:16
Speaker
Spent the money on luxury goods from brands such as Gucci, Dior, and Louis Vuitton, and on travel to South America and Europe. I don't know. Brother, have you not seen Goodfellas? You can't be out spending the money.
00:12:29
Speaker
You got to live quietly. They did actually receive some checks. ah The checks they had filled out to the brothers, Malteserve. like Dude, trying to read words that ah I'm not familiar with.
00:12:44
Speaker
i Very challenging, apparently. Multi Servicio LLC account were deposited into a separate Bank of America account solely registered to Ochoa Vasquez.
00:12:57
Speaker
So yeah, they got arrested. um They are probably regretting. I'd imagine there's a lot of regret here. I can't imagine. like So these are two separate people, right?
00:13:12
Speaker
um It sounds like one might not have been directly linked to the church. And the pastor was like, just more than happy to, like, I don't know, like this this is one of those like harebrained schemes where you you wonder how it started, right?
00:13:28
Speaker
Pastor's just like talking to his buddy. He's like, man, i got all these people who keep asking me about work permits and and driver's licenses. And he's like, Well, what if we just pretended to sell them those? like and that Like at some point they just moved forward with one of the dumbest ideas that two people could collectively come up with.
00:13:50
Speaker
um don't know. It's fascinating. I don't understand. Like I'm a fear-based person anyway. That's why i think that's why I was in evangelicalism so long. um You know, I think,
00:14:04
Speaker
that It got its hooks. I'm like, I'm a rule follower. I'm not trying to rock the boat. If I think someone's upset with me, I'm having a bad time. I don't know.
00:14:15
Speaker
Like if I realize I haven't paid somebody back $10, you know, I'm like a month later, it's like oh, fuck, I forgot to Venmo my friend. like And I'm like, I bet they've been thinking about it this whole time. I bet they they keep wondering why I haven't sent them $10. They probably completely forgot. But like the idea of just offering somebody something like a driver's license or a work permit or something like that, and then not delivering. it I don't know how you sleep at night.
00:14:44
Speaker
I don't know how you don't have the force. like It's like this person's never thought past the tip of their nose to just be like, to take that money and go to bed and not once wonder, oh, fuck, there's there's no end. like There's no way out of this.
00:15:02
Speaker
And $21,000, I'm guessing, was split two ways. That $21,000 between two people involved in a scam is such small amount of money. Dude, I just imagine the guy like, yeah, it's 10,000 bucks,
Social Media Scams and Authenticity
00:15:15
Speaker
which he spent on Gucci items and stuff like that. Like, can you imagine him like rolling up to the church in his like, you know, 2008 Navigator with like blown out air suspension?
00:15:27
Speaker
So it's just riding heavy on the back. He steps out and he's got the one of those stupid Gucci belt buckles on. With a nice pair of, like, those real long-toed boots.
00:15:40
Speaker
Yeah. The sum total of his criminal dealings in one belt buckle.
00:15:47
Speaker
He deserves to go to jail for just running a bad scam. Yeah, that's the real crime. It doesn't even leave, you it doesn't even afford you the the the temporary ah fantasy of thinking it up yourself.
00:16:02
Speaker
You know, like Bernie Madoff. Like, you hear the story of Bernie Madoff and it's like, yeah, this is bad, it's wrong, put him in jail. But in the back of your mind, you're kind of like... God, I wish I could trick rich people into like just dumping money on my head.
00:16:17
Speaker
Right. like Or, I mean, every day on Wall Street, someone steals more than $21,000 from somebody. Every fucking day. Oh, yeah. And it goes unnoticed. And then when they do find out, they're just like they chalk it up to a clerical error, and they just like...
00:16:33
Speaker
pay it's like that wells fargo bullshit of just being like oh here's like a 30 deposit into your account sorry we accidentally sold all of your private information and social security numbers won't happen again i mean we're my apologies dude it's they probably most of those successful wall street guys probably steal 21 000 like before their like house servant even brings them their like facial ice bath yeah You know, it's just ah it's as common and routine as their morning cup of coffee.
00:17:11
Speaker
Did you see that video that was going around to the like real buff black dude that was like showing his routine? And it was it was no shortage of buff dudes showing their routine. So.
00:17:23
Speaker
Well, it was like... We had one as a former guest, actually. He's like, you know, ah he gets up and he like does this like skincare routine and he works out super hard and then he's got like people bringing him his breakfast at a table and then they bring him like ah egg whites, a bowl of ice water that he like washes his face in and then they bring him a towel like it's so absurd that like gained a lot of traction because everybody in the world looked at it and was like, i don't I don't believe anyone does this on a daily basis. Like this is insane.
00:17:59
Speaker
That's the internet though. That's everything's made up. It's like anyone, you can just get on and like do something. So you can run. I mean, I don't even, I was going to say rub avocado on your face every day, but that's not even wild.
00:18:11
Speaker
and Like that's just probably something that a lot of people do. um I just, there's no, like if you just do something outlandish and pretend like it's your daily routine, you'll, you'll get a hundred, couple hundred thousand hits or some shit like that. It's, I feel like that's, I don't know what's real anymore. You don't know what's real at all on the internet. It's just, it's like when we talked to guard and he was like, yeah, a lot of these, my cringe stuff is like, people will send it to me. Like a lot of it's not, it's just not real. It's people making cringe content for the fuck of it. And
00:18:45
Speaker
I don't, I don't know you, I don't know what, but I don't know if it's a generation thing. I don't know. You just have the level of shamelessness you have to have to be like for ah it to just be enough that, you know, it's not real while like anyone could find it and be like, I can't in good conscience hire this person.
00:19:03
Speaker
I think it's like, like social media opens it up to people all over the place. But whereas before you had to do things like, um, you know, move to l LA and try to get cast on like six different reality shows.
00:19:18
Speaker
Right, right. Like remember, um, commercials, whatever. Yeah. Oh, we talked to the guy, we talked to the guy that made that movie long time ago, um, where he and his buddy go on like a spirit quest trip through the desert.
00:19:32
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember his name. He's a cool guy, but he, uh, I think it was called spirit quest. It was called spirit quest. It was, um, Oh, my God. i Trip was one of the dudes.
00:19:47
Speaker
ah Brent. Brent Lydick is his name. That's right. Yeah, Brent. And he had talked to us about, like, his career in Hollywood and how, like, he did casting for... that kind of stuff for like VH1 or MTV or something like that for a long time. And yeah, just basically go out and like sort through like, so like weed through bars in LA and try to find people who are willing to like subject themselves to being on like, I don't know that, that, the,
00:20:16
Speaker
like the the most recent speed dating show or whatever. Yeah. didn't he do it for ah mt He did it for an MTV show. Was it next? I think it was next. yeah or Yeah. One of those like real crappy MTV dating shows that I would watch every time my mom would leave to take my younger brother to baseball practice.
00:20:36
Speaker
Yeah. and he said that there's like a ah stable of people that are just like hanging around waiting to be cast on reality shows and a lot of them have been on like three or four different ones and stuff like that was the old hustle now you can just do it on instagram or whatever it's too gross i hate it i mean i don't want a hustle i want a scam yeah i don't want to i don't want to earn money through illegitimate means i want to steal money yeah i want people to give it to me
00:21:10
Speaker
to the degree that I, there's no consequences for it, you know, just get that like passive income stream. Like, uh, dude, I mean, even thinking about like our podcast page, right? Like you look at what it takes to keep a pod, like any sort of Instagram page, like,
00:21:25
Speaker
bustling like we gain and lose followers at the same rate like we post once every like two weeks like and i i i was i had it in my mind i'm all i always have like i always like a few weeks ago i was like i'm gonna i should start to start posting daily i have I have some time, but then I don't. It gets away from me. Obviously, I moved and had a kid and shit like that, too. But like that I still have time like holding a baby is it.
00:21:55
Speaker
You can hold a baby and like do something right. You can post a picture on Instagram. You could do anything. And it's like just nice to tune out. Right. Just. Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:06
Speaker
yeah You try to disassociate, you know, um you come to and she's like 14. Yeah.
00:22:14
Speaker
But i don't know. I just, the like that grind that people have, it's like the like the amount of effort people put into trying to to monetize a post or something like that. Like when you when you think of the amount of um the amount of work that goes into it for no return and then when you the the generation that that spends the most time on that shit, ae my understanding from listening to ah people who have to hire people for a living. It's like that generation is like,
00:22:46
Speaker
and they don't they're You don't want to be like that boomer guy about it, but there are some differences between generations, especially younger ones right now when it comes to work ethic um or the types of things that motivate them to do work. And it's funny that like you can spend like all this time grinding for like a post and try to get $30 off a TikTok for it but like The idea of working a full-time job to make 10 times that and probably do less work is like kind of debilitating for some of them.
00:23:20
Speaker
Yeah. That's pretty small subset of people, but yeah, there's there's definitely something to it. Unconventional means. um Here, let me let me ah give you mine here real quick.
Sting Operation and Criminal Intent
00:23:32
Speaker
This one's a little less fun, but... Seven arrested at Jackson Township Hotel sexting. Seven? Seven men were arrested after they showed up at a township hotel hoping to have sex with a 14-year-old girl, police said in a statement released August 4th. Seven.
00:23:52
Speaker
Then this is a strain okay this is a strange title. The arrests were part of a multi-day sting named Operation Unsportsmanlike Conduct.
00:24:03
Speaker
Okay. why The flag on the play. Yeah. Were they like a volleyball, were they in like a volleyball discord server or something like that? Is that where they pick these guys up? ah Targeting predators traveling to violate children, the press release from Jackson police said.
00:24:23
Speaker
um Blah, blah, blah, FBI, blah, blah, blah. Those arrested included a 37-year-old Massimillin-Massillin man who served as a children's youth leader at a church in Massillin.
00:24:36
Speaker
The man's profile was removed from the church's website. Messages were left August 4th with the church's pastor. um He and three others faced counts of importuning, attempting to commit unlawful sexual conduct with a minor, and possessing criminal tools.
00:24:54
Speaker
All felonies. Criminal tools? school Well, a lockpicking kit? I that's the only thing I can think of. but Like if they think they're going to meet up with somebody, see that. OK, if they think they're meeting up with somebody, you know, can consensually is not the right word. Right. Because they think it's a 14 year old. But if the person is willingly meeting with them, I don't think we're talking about a lockpicking.
00:25:20
Speaker
I think we're talking ropes, duct tape, maybe a shovel and a bag of lye. Yeah. Something bad. ah portable bathtub. Criminal tools is a broad term and it can go to some scary places.
00:25:34
Speaker
It could. Yeah. ah boy Sex toys. It's just like those are criminal tools when you're dealing with pinhead from Hellraiser's fanny pack. Yeah.
00:25:50
Speaker
It's all just hooks and chains and, ah you know, meat forks. Whips. Yeah, that's fun. um That's crazy, dude. I think the most mind-boggling part of that to me Well, maybe you can clarify before I rush to judgment.
00:26:07
Speaker
um Were these seven people arrested simultaneously because the seven of them were going there at the same time? Or is this seven separate sting? Like, was it like a sting that that involved seven separate instances?
00:26:25
Speaker
I think this is like a To Catch a Predator type deal where they they bait a whole bunch of people into showing up. you know okay and then Can you imagine? yeah let trickle in They're like, it'll be a lot easier if they all show up at the same time. can you All seven men just knocking on the door? like i don't What's going on here, guys?
00:26:46
Speaker
There's seven people. soon as you see one other person there, you split. They're all standing in line. They're just like, me first, me first, fighting to get... I've definitely seen episodes of Chris Hansen's show where pete two guys have showed up at the same time and it's just like chaos ensues and then they have to chase them both down. and it It's not funny, but at the same time, we are laughing.
00:27:12
Speaker
um Dude, there's one of those that I was listening to a podcast the other day and they were talking about it and it's it's a like a mentally challenged guy and he gets caught like,
00:27:24
Speaker
multiple times multiple times like he's he's taken the bait like like three or four times at this point and he works at like a car dealership and so at one point they they show they show up to the car dealership and like he doesn't recognize him like even after being busted before by the same people even after they call him by his first name they're just like bob dude come on man he's like look yeah They're like, you remember us? Uh-uh.
00:27:55
Speaker
We're here to talk to you about what the things that you said to to Krista. And he he just looks at and goes, no! And he runs. He tries to just hoof it out of there. of what Now, I don't know if this is misplaced compassion, but I feel like when you're dealing with a certain level of intellectual deficiency, at some, is it?
00:28:20
Speaker
When that's your pattern, at some point we have to go, to some degree, we cannot hold you to the same level of account. We don't know You're clearly in a spot that you're... Yeah, I get that. You're there. You're not going to work out of But it's also like, why is this guy able to do this so many times? like There needs to be a place for people like that, right? He's like, look, man, you're obviously not...
00:28:48
Speaker
It doesn't have to be jail. It could just be a special home where you don't yeah you don't have internet access and you have a chaperone and you know shit like that. That's so wild.
00:29:02
Speaker
Yeah, like pedo daycare. yeah
00:29:08
Speaker
Exactly. Just be shepherded through every day to make sure that you don't make the same mistake again. Dude, there's this. I was watching this video before we got on. You will. He'll do it a fourth time. You know, that guy's not learning from his mistakes.
00:29:22
Speaker
So there's this guy on TikTok. I think he's in jail now. um But it's a guy that's like our age, but he's like full on my chemical romance peak emo guy.
00:29:35
Speaker
Like straight out of, uh, out of like 2008 and he goes by Brandon brutal. If you have the black swoop, is it teased in the back? Sometimes. Yeah. He definitely has the black swoop. It's been flat ironed into oblivion. Yeah. Well, you know a lot about that.
00:29:51
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. well, yeah. First hand experience. It looks like a cheap, it looks like who what you would stuff a cheap pillow with. Yeah. You know, ah just, just frizzy and, and, and bristly.
00:30:04
Speaker
But, uh, He's really into being a quote unquote emo. And he's also really into teenage girls and it's gotten him in trouble several times. But he's got a touch. That connection is not as uncommon as, you know, you'd like it to be.
00:30:21
Speaker
e No, it's true. Yeah, he he's got a touch of like mental illness or something like that. Like you can just you can hear it in the way he talks and stuff. But like,
00:30:35
Speaker
this video are so they're so like cringe and funny in just like an absurd way. But like, it's just this like 35 year old man with like, ah you know, ah like a black band.
00:30:51
Speaker
like conductor jo on and you know all the like like studded belts and everything you know in 2025 yeah he's like like he just came out from the black parade he's like oh it just just sucks being from a small town and stuff because there's not like um a lot of other emos here i don't know you know i just really like to meet like a cute emo girl and you know it's just well it's just what i want and stuff and you know ah
00:31:22
Speaker
By the way, um people have spread a lot of rumors about me, and they're not true, and I don't don't appreciate it. If you want to be my friend, you have to be above 18 years old, and if you want to date me, you have to be 21 years twenty one maybe 20 maybe but i prefer 21 and that's just my preference i like adults and it's like you're laying it on awfully thick anyone who says i like adults is like you should be arrested immediately one thing you need to know about me i like them old yeah well it's funny you bring that up because uh no one else ever has so suspicions
00:32:09
Speaker
but apparently though, if you're like, he likes him young, that doesn't matter either. That's true.
00:32:17
Speaker
Again, it's, it's all dependent on the level of scam you're running, right? Brandon brutal scam. pretty weak. donalds Donald's is strong. It's gotten him a long ways.
00:32:27
Speaker
Yeah, there's some cracks in the veneer at this point, ah but... Oh, we're not going to do it. Nope. My God. do it Dude, every week, it's it's ah just more absurd. It's so funny. It's got to be like this the next like couple months. It has to be because clearly like some of the...
00:32:48
Speaker
Some of this Epstein shit, it just keeps like – it's a little trickle. It's a little trickle just to keep us from you know blowing our heads off at this point. It's like they're trying to prevent mass suicide in America and they're just like, oh, just give them – just turn the tap on a tiny bit so it just does that drip, drip, drip and it'll just keep people like – it's like it's like ah It's like when you you would watch shows on primetime, right? when Before streaming, like just giving you that weekly cliffhanger before they drop something else that inevitably leads to nothing.
00:33:23
Speaker
it's yeah It's like we talking about. like there at this point So they subpoenaed a whole bunch of people yesterday, I think it was, including like, it's it's all it's only people that are on Trump's like enemy list.
00:33:38
Speaker
Like nobody else. yeah Comey's on there, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, all these people. And it it is funny to watch him like... if you're pop if you If you're well known enough and have enough money, like subpoenas don't count the same either.
00:33:53
Speaker
Like the amount of people who just know like don't show up for their subpoenas. Yeah, and then nothing happens. It's insane. Yeah, God, it's so ridiculous. And then it just like, it's it's a welcome distraction from the really horrific news stories like...
00:34:07
Speaker
um Somebody said words I didn't like, so I launched nuclear submarines into position. yeah yo What? Oh, man. Let me just see him flounder on, ah you know, sex pass questions.
00:34:20
Speaker
Yeah. I know. He does not handle those with any level of finesse at all. That's pretty incredible. No, not his strong suit. But here we are. Nothing happens.
00:34:34
Speaker
um We...
Critique of the Book of Mormon's Content
00:34:36
Speaker
are gonna We're going to go back to the well, the the wonderful well that is the Book of Mormon, and ah continue weeding through.
00:34:46
Speaker
um We didn't make it real far last week, and i did a little forward reading this week to kind of see, you know, it says I'm just looking for narrative at this point. Right.
00:34:56
Speaker
because Most of this is just restating the exact same stuff and being like, I'm keeping these records on these plates, but not everything. I'm not putting all of it on here because it's too time consuming.
00:35:11
Speaker
um So only the important stuff on these plates. I talk about myself in the third person and state it directly to the reader because that's normal. you know I just want to know what else he had going on at the time that made it so hard to include all the information.
00:35:26
Speaker
Clearly he's busy and needs to be ah conservative with his time and words. And it's funny because he spends more time explaining why that he didn't include all the information, probably than it would take to just include the information. Like ah good like a good 16th of this book has to just be about information he didn't include.
00:35:50
Speaker
It does feel that way. And the stuff that he did include is so tedious and boring. So boring. So we're going to like an entire book of like the first couple chapters of the Fellowship of the Ring.
00:36:05
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. This is like it's like if you if the Bible, if the whole Old Testament was just the genealogy chapters.
00:36:15
Speaker
So we're going to push through several short books here that have basically nothing of interest in them, starting with the Book of Enos. Enos! I figured that would be your favorite.
00:36:27
Speaker
I love Enos. So, first things first, ah we don't know a whole lot about Enos here, but it does cover his salvation. So starting off, it says, Behold, it came to pass that I, Enos, knowing my father...
00:36:44
Speaker
ah that he was a just man, for he taught me in his language and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and blessed be the name of my God for it.
00:36:56
Speaker
And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God before I received a remission of my sins. Okay, so he's giving us the preamble. All right, he's he was wrestling with something.
00:37:09
Speaker
So here is the extent to which we find out about his wrestle, wrestling, right? His wrestle. I don't know. Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forest and the words, which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life and the joy of the saints sunk deep into my heart.
00:37:27
Speaker
And my soul hungered and I kneeled down before my maker and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul. And all the day long did I cry unto him.
00:37:37
Speaker
Yay. And when the night came, I did still raise my voice high and it reached the heavens. And there came a voice unto me saying, Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee and now shall be blessed.
00:37:49
Speaker
How do you spell his name? E-N-O-S. Okay. Okay. Also, it's a good story. i that's That's the story. That's it. That's the whole chapter. That's the whole book of Enos.
00:38:02
Speaker
Yeah, and he knows it's true because it's the next verse says, And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie. Wherefore, my guilt was swept away. Okay. um I think it's funny that this whole thing starts off with, like, my father told me about eternal life, and I really like the idea of that.
00:38:25
Speaker
It sounded so good that I want that. Why wouldn't I want that? like So then so then i got that. like it's not I was really dedicated in my prayers for myself.
00:38:38
Speaker
Right. And i in all because I just i just want a eternal life. I'm struggling to...
00:38:48
Speaker
To articulate why I think it's so silly. But I think in some way that, I mean, that's that's Christianity too. That's like kind of what we were we were sold, right? You're sold like ah either a good eternity or a bad eternity. Now, we don't know if, um'm we're assuming this guy has a concept of an eternity that...
00:39:09
Speaker
is not pleasant too, but I just... Yes, they do talk about that. Yeah, yeah. And if you don't just a reminder again, this book supposedly takes place about 420 B.C.,
00:39:21
Speaker
Right, right. When people are having these conversations regularly. um It's just... i Like, of course.
00:39:32
Speaker
I guess it's just... i guess what I just feel like, of course. Of course, like, if you were like, did you know there's eternal life? People will be like, that sounds nice. Like, that's a... As a mortal being that's worried about death or whatever, but like...
00:39:49
Speaker
It's kind of a weak sell. I think that's what... like getting Getting that message in this really simplistic dumbed-down version is making me think about how much of a weak sell Eternity is.
00:40:02
Speaker
like It's just kind of like casting again going back to casting a wide net. right You're just like i like... There's no reason to believe that that's a thing.
00:40:13
Speaker
right There's no... There's no real... My dad told me that you could live forever. And I was like, oh, I like that. And I dedicated my life to it. There's no assurance of that.
00:40:26
Speaker
ah There's no real... I don't think there's any real reason to think that. Is there any Old Testament mechanism for this? I mean, because it it doesn't matter in here because we're just... We're real willy-nilly with...
00:40:40
Speaker
Right. Considering this is before Jesus was born and died and all that stuff, you know, like, was there even a mechanism for quote unquote eternal life like in the Old Testament or was it? I thought it was just like you keep the law and if you do a good enough job at it, God will like bring you to Abraham's bosom or whatever. Yeah. it Up under an old man's boob.
00:41:06
Speaker
Yeah. He hate like, it's just fat old Abraham who lifts up his tit and like rests yeah it on top of your head and you go to sleep for a nice long nap.
00:41:17
Speaker
Nose naked in there jerking off. Yeah. His kids are trying to cover him up. Um, it, it's what, it's one of those things that evolved throughout.
00:41:29
Speaker
Cause the old Testament was written over a long period of time. um, But it was mostly static. like i don't It wasn't like a you got Sheol and stuff like that. where like Everybody went to the same place when they died and it was kind of like a Just kind of like that's a dingy, gray, morbid, like nothing.
00:41:49
Speaker
It's not spoken of like, wow, this is exciting. There's no like good news on the other side, but um it was mostly i I want to say it was mostly during the period between when the Old Testament was written.
00:42:05
Speaker
in the New Testament that like more fleshed out concepts of afterlife and eternity started to develop. um But there is some evolution of the of of the concept of the afterlife in the Old Testament.
00:42:23
Speaker
Yeah. to some degree, but it's not the same. It's not this. It's not what he's writing about, like this pleasant eternity with God, the father. Well, you may be asking yourself, what by what method was he forgiven of his sins before Jesus died and all that stuff? none of that I just want to know what his sins were. I don't even care. like I don't care about anything other than what his sins were.
00:42:50
Speaker
ah Maybe he wasn't on those beasts for meat. He was pretty broken up over them. He seemed pretty concerned. Leads me to believe he did some pretty weird shit. He saved some tablet space by not including his criminal record.
00:43:06
Speaker
but We don't need to include it all. I did some things. So he is also confused about about the nature of his salvation, right? he says and so it goes, ah and I said, Lord. Doesn't even know what salvation is, but thinks he has it. Love that.
00:43:24
Speaker
It says, Lord, how is it done? And he said unto me, because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen, and many years pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh, wherefore go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.
00:43:42
Speaker
What an idiot concept. What a dumb ass way to try to like retroactively explain. Like, dude, all this is, is cope. This book is just a book of cope.
00:43:55
Speaker
Like this dude had some doubts and he was like, just wrote a big ass useless book about how like, Jesus is super real, no matter what you say. It's like the most real.
00:44:11
Speaker
Like, oh, you were saved because you believed in a Christ that you haven't seen, that hasn't come, that will... like When the whole idea of the New Testament is like, Christ came and did this thing, and now things are different.
00:44:25
Speaker
And they're just like, no, no, no, no like Things have always been... It's like, dude, what this is... this is As a kid, I don't know if you had these questions, um but did you ever like ask a pastor or a youth pastor a parent like what happened to all the people who died before Jesus?
00:44:45
Speaker
I think it was a question that everybody danced around for sure. Right. And this this is a book of some dickhead trying to answer that question who knows nothing. Yeah, and he's like, God personally told them about Jesus so that they could believe in him and get preemptive salvation before he came and died for their sins.
00:45:06
Speaker
Right. It was just a flat circle and we'll all be there again. This is just another way for me to. this is just ah another another great way to have a problem with the Jews.
00:45:20
Speaker
You know, i said that last time, but every time we get more and more into this book, I'm like, this is just like it's just like an anti-Jewish text for the most part. Hmm.
00:45:31
Speaker
That's how I see it. I'm not saying he was anti-Semitic. but i'm sure that still I'm sure that's how Israelis see it. Everything that's not an ah and an outright endorsement of of toddler murder is anti-Jewish.
00:45:46
Speaker
look Look, they the nation state of Israel has certainly muddied the waters on conversations around anti-Semitism.
00:45:58
Speaker
Because... I'm talking about Judaism. I'm talking about Judaism and not
00:46:07
Speaker
It's it is kind of crazy that the nation state of Israel is directly responsible at this point for increasing the amount of anti-Semitism simply by calling everybody.
00:46:23
Speaker
anti-semitic for not supporting what they're doing it's yeah it is a we're in wild times uh and it does make these conversations slightly more uncomfortable to have a lot more room for ah misinterpretation and misrepresentation but i think i've made it clear where i stand on child murder and the jewish faith there are some parallels within the book of mormon for the the situation that they find themselves in.
00:46:51
Speaker
every one of these books includes a passage where, uh, the, the good and just person speaking, um, you know, really that God really lays it on their their hearts that like, he wants them.
00:47:06
Speaker
He, they really all, they all really want to see the Lamanites turn to turn back to the, the true faith in Christ that they should have. The Lamanites just love being evil.
00:47:19
Speaker
Oh, it's like, um it's like the Assyrians, right? It's just like, a I mean, the Assyrians were fucked. but Like a stand-in group for dehumanization.
00:47:29
Speaker
Right. And it's not, that the funny thing is it's not even a, it's not even a like a real people group to like stoke the flames of hatred against. Like most people are looking for scapegoats, right? Like, and you see that throughout the Old Testament. It's, um,
00:47:45
Speaker
I mean, wow. Oh my God. ah It's disgusting that I'm blanking on the, um, who were they always fighting? Who were they always mad at?
00:47:56
Speaker
Nope. Not the Philistines. The, oh my God. This is embarrassing. It was, uh, some sort of, I, I don't know, whatever. Either way.
00:48:07
Speaker
Um, Chinese. Yep. That's it. Uh, but no short supply of scapegoating in, um, in the old Testament and the Hebrew Bible, there's no, no short supply. It's like, these are the bad people where the good people.
00:48:22
Speaker
Um, and I like, it makes sense as like, it makes sense, right? When you're writing story like this, it's the, some of it's propaganda to a degree.
00:48:36
Speaker
um But when you're writing a book about your people to your people and you're trying to find like justifications for why things are the way they are, make sense of things, whatever, like it makes sense to find a scapegoat and to increase your level of nationalism. And this guy picks a group of people who don't exist.
00:49:01
Speaker
Like, How are you going to how are you going to be successful in the religious sphere if you're not stoking the flames of hatred against somebody else? Come on. Yeah, it's all about the Lamanites.
00:49:12
Speaker
um And the Nephites are good and the Lamanites are bad, and it's always that way. And they're just forced into murdering them. um So he goes on a little bit later and he says, and i bear record that the people of nephi did seek diligently to restore the lamanites unto the true faith in god but our labors were in vain their hatred was fixed and they were led by their evil nature that they became wild and ferocious and a bloodthirsty people full of i drt idolatry and filthiness, feeding upon beasts of prey, dwelling in tents and wandering about in the wilderness with a short-skinned girdle about their loins and their heads shaven. was and their It wasn't fingertip length?
00:50:00
Speaker
It was not. They dressed so slutty. It's like, ah I don't, there was always, I feel like there were always these old Bible cartoons.
00:50:11
Speaker
No, no, dude, you know what it was? It was um the Return of the King cartoon, Aragorn. Do you remember that? Remember what he's wearing? Dude, he's slotting it up in that.
00:50:22
Speaker
He has the shortest little skirt. Aragorn? Yeah, dude, he's a little slotting. Oh, man, I can't get behind that interpretation. That's the NIV version of the Return of the King.
00:50:34
Speaker
I'm looking it up. if ah If I find the right thing, that's going to be the... i'm going to I'll actually post this episode and it will be the thumbnail for it. He's just wearing a jockstrap, dude.
00:50:50
Speaker
Hey, mobility is key. Oh, man. I'm showing Casey a picture of it. It's just... Dude, he looks like Javier Boredom. He looks like shit in that cartoon. I don't know, dude. i was I was never sold on him. Here's another one, dude. You can see his little... his little You can see the bulge of his wiener popping out below his little loincloth there. oh boy.
00:51:15
Speaker
Yeah, that's ah that's an interesting choice they made there. He's got the he's got the knee-high boots. Dude, he...
00:51:25
Speaker
this this ah This looks like someone remade it in 2025 in Aragorn's trans. so Is that a terrible joke? Should we cut that one out? I'm sorry.
00:51:38
Speaker
Well, that's really about it for the Book of Venus. There's not much there. And then we go into the Book of Jerome. um and it's really Lizzo has a nice song called Jerome.
00:51:50
Speaker
I'll give you a ah i'll give you a snapshot of the of the repetitive chapters here. Now behold, i Jerome, write a few words according to the commandment of my father Enos that our genealogy may be kept.
00:52:02
Speaker
And as these plates are small, and as these things are written for the intent of the benefit of our brethren the Lamanites, wherefore it must needs be that I write a little.
00:52:13
Speaker
Ha ha ha! But I shall not write the things of my prophesying, nor of my revelations. For what could I write more than my fathers have written? For have not they revealed the plan of salvation?
00:52:25
Speaker
They haven't. They have not. They definitely have not. I don't. I like to think of this as like Joseph Smith.
00:52:35
Speaker
He's like mid reading out the, ah you know, like freestyling another book. And I don't know if he's bored or he has to pee or what, but he's like, I got to speed this. I'm done.
00:52:46
Speaker
I'm so done with this. I'm speeding it up. yeah ah We're out of space on the plate, so I'm not going add a whole lot here. yeah I just had enough room left to write that one part.
00:52:58
Speaker
ah The Canaanites, dude. It was the Canaanites. That's what i was trying to say earlier. ashamed. ah ashamed Yeah, I'm ashamed myself. Did you? You said the, I don't know what you said.
00:53:11
Speaker
Wasn't that? Chinese. You definitely said that. you You look for a lot of opportunities to squeak that one in there. It's weird. Yeah, there's a, um it's a lot of the same stuff here, but he says, ah and now behold, 200 years had passed away and the people of Nephi had waxed strong in the land.
00:53:30
Speaker
They observed to keep the laws of Moses and the Sabbath day holy unto the Lord. And they profaned not, neither did they blaspheme. And the laws of the land were exceedingly strict.
00:53:41
Speaker
And they were scattered upon much of the face of the land and the Lamanites also. And they were exceedingly more numerous than they were of the Nephites. Numerous?
00:53:53
Speaker
have to look that one numerous than were they of the Nephites. I thought numerous was... ah numerous uh this is the key though and they loved murder and would drink the blood of beasts oh they're so bad dude they're naughty they love murder they loved it this is this is written like an eight-year-old wrote it it's funny it reminds me of uh when we did that episode about richie the barber
00:54:26
Speaker
Yeah. If you didn't catch it, he's a he's a man with a full body clown face tattoo. And he is an idiot. He had a podcast for a while. I don't think he still does.
00:54:39
Speaker
But oh, I don't know. I don't think so. He he he moves grifts really fast. He does. He really doesn't put his heart in any of them for very long. He's slinging merch right now. And then he just reposts videos of fake things that people do. And then his like tagline is, that's demonic.
00:54:58
Speaker
And then he hashtags everything that's demonic. Dude, I hate this. I hate this. He's so annoying. And like his his his hustle sucks so bad.
00:55:10
Speaker
But do you remember when when he had his podcast, he was ah he was like constantly telling stories about the days of his like of being in with the Hollywood crowd and all the evil that he saw.
00:55:25
Speaker
Yeah, dude, and what a classic move, too, for failed entertainer. Yeah, I mean, this guy wasn't in on anything. I mean, I thought du i think he held Stevo's butt bong a couple of times.
00:55:39
Speaker
He's slinging hats now that say, that's demonic. Black hats and like red, drippy blood letters. um The post only has nine likes, though, so people don't give a shit. It's not going well.
00:55:53
Speaker
Yeah, there's a few grips out there that aren't going well um on Instagram. including, um, buddy weightlifting buddy. that's what I mentioned earlier when you talk about the guy, the buff guy who puts his face in ice cold water every day. Like, uh, when you said, uh, just, it's I, there's a lot of buff dudes on Instagram, just slinging their routines. I go, we had one of them. totally missed it.
00:56:20
Speaker
was like, we had one of them on our podcast as a guest. and's Yeah. He, um, but Yeah, dude, he... If your two goals are saving souls and getting swole, then type swollygains in the comments.
00:56:40
Speaker
And there's, like, no comments. No, no. And then he... It's uncomfortable how hard he goes at the lift for Christ. He did just post a cool picture with him and Hulk Hogan, though.
00:56:53
Speaker
ah He eulogized him really nice that picture. Hulkster in hell?
00:56:59
Speaker
It's, uh, I'm going to, uh, uh, I want to was find his post. Give him some, dude, he's got 15,000 followers though. Does he?
00:57:10
Speaker
Which is kind of wild. It's, but it's also kind of wild to have that many followers. And so, and and very little engagement. Um, he said, uh, suspect I'll always remember the day when you filmed the intro for my Jack for Jesus music video.
00:57:26
Speaker
even though the people at the event were saying no videos and you still did it anyway. I'll never forget you telling me dig your merch, brother, and your kindness towards me when we met. RIP Hulk Hogan.
00:57:38
Speaker
That's nice. After he paid $60 for a signed headshot. yeah
00:57:45
Speaker
I like the guy. I i i hope that he succeeds in a way. It's content that is not for me. Clearly it's not for a lot of people based on the interaction.
00:57:59
Speaker
Look. Yeah, I'll say. oh you Look, yeah, I don't know. I don't think I want to say anything else about it. I don't think he's listening. But I like to be a nice guy. And I found him easy to talk to.
00:58:16
Speaker
So we got that was the ah that was the book of Jerome. That's pretty much all that's in it. There's not much there. There's the book of Omni. Nothing of interest. It's all pretty boring.
00:58:29
Speaker
What's some purpose? like I don't know. You get to a point where you just like look you just like pick a random chat or verse out and you're like, all right, well, we just what is he talking about here? and like Let's like do it.
00:58:40
Speaker
And it came to pass in these days, in the days of Mosiah, that there was a large stone brought unto him with engravings on it. And he did interpret the engravings by the gift and power of God.
00:58:52
Speaker
And they gave an account of the Corian Tumner and the slain of his people. And Corian Tumner was discovered by the people of Zarahemla.
00:59:07
Speaker
And he dwelt with them for the space of nine moons. Corian Tumner sounds like the... name of a child who would have eaten too many jelly beans at Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
00:59:19
Speaker
There, there was one of these that I, I like put a pin in because the, the text of it was funny. I don't get the... I'm still struggling to understand the point of this. every It's like he just makes the same story over and over again and just creates a different character and then goes, look, that's proof that this is all correct.
00:59:42
Speaker
Look at yeah all these people. All these people had this experience. It's kind of like he set out to... He was like, I have to do this many people to create a solid lineage between this point and this point, which I've laid out.
The Role of Record Keeping in the Book of Mormon
00:59:57
Speaker
And I need to fill space and because I can't think up like like that many stories. Is that what this is, a lineage that leads to a particular person to himself to who? like I guess so, because it's all like and then my father Omni told me, Mosiah, you have to keep the records, but you don't have to write down everything. So don't sweat it.
01:00:22
Speaker
but so there's So you get through. and that dude what what better job is there than just being in the lineage as listed in the Book of Mormon and your job is a record keeper?
01:00:36
Speaker
Like any other role where you have to like keep records sounds pretty stressful. It's like you're a courtroom person. as a stenograte What do they call the people in the courtrooms who ah who type everything down?
01:00:50
Speaker
ah I don't know. The stenographer, is that yeah the person who sketches everything or is that the person who types it out? I don't know. Either way, i just can imagine. That's a stressful job. You cannot miss a word.
01:01:03
Speaker
You got to be typing. This job, this is the easiest record keeping job ever. It's like, yeah, you know, if stuff gets washed out in a flood, like, don't worry about it. We don't really need all this.
01:01:14
Speaker
um And if it doesn't go, if something gets ruined, you can just rewrite it and say that it's ah original and no one will really care. Yeah. Yeah, so you get through Jerome, then there's the Book of Omni, which has pretty much nothing of interest in it. Then there's one called The Words of Mormon, and this one says it was written about 83, 85.
01:01:37
Speaker
Is this the first time they address the word Mormon? I don't know. I mean, I guess so. What does Mormon mean? do they Do they discuss that here? And now I, Mormon, being about to deliver up the record, which I have been making into the hands of my son Moroni,
01:01:55
Speaker
Behold, I have witnessed almost all the destruction of my people, the Nephites. So it's weird because it's like you get that, but then you go into the book of Mosiah, which is about 130 to 124 BC. Chapter one here is. dudes It's like you jump forward in time.
01:02:12
Speaker
The cliff notes on this book is like four and a half pages. yeah Like the entire, like you could, I feel like you could summarize the entire Book of Mormon in like 10 pages or less, like single, double spaced even, typed on Word.
01:02:27
Speaker
Every book is like, um I'm writing this down, but not all of it. ah The Nephites were good when they were good and they remembered God and stuff, but they were a stubborn and stiff-necked people.
01:02:40
Speaker
And the the Lamanites were bad. They were bad people. So, Book of Mosiah, there's a lot of the same until you get to like chapter 8.
01:02:52
Speaker
um And in this one, I thought it was interesting because he lays out the and the idea of ah of a seer, which is clearly what Joseph Smith sees himself as. Yeah, for sure.
01:03:03
Speaker
So, um okay. Yeah. And the king said unto him, being grieved for the afflictions of my people i caused that forty and three of my people should take a journey into the wilderness that thereby they might find the land of zra helmla zahemla that we might appeal unto our brethren to deliver us out of bondage and they were lost in the wilderness for the space of many days yet they were diligent and found not the land of zalma but turned returned to this land, having traveled in a land among many waters, having discovered a land which was covered with bones of men and of beasts, and was also covered with ruins of buildings of every kind, having discovered a land which had been peopled with a people who were were as numerous as the hosts of Israel.
01:03:50
Speaker
So he he goes out looking for Zarahelma, but ends up you say walking through a like ah the ruins of a former... so you know, civilization graveyard. Did he say people by the people?
01:04:04
Speaker
Yeah, dude. he He loves doing that. He uses the same word multiple times in the same sentence all the time. It's very annoying. I think you got by a people it's entirely possible.
01:04:16
Speaker
and The timeline doesn't make sense, but perhaps perhaps there's a conspiracy where whatever spirit has or had, i should say, whatever spirit had found a home in Kamala's body is the same spirit that helped Joseph Smith like write the Book of Mormon. Yeah.
01:04:41
Speaker
You think she was like a vessel for the angel Moroni? It's possible.
01:04:49
Speaker
Thinking back to some of the things she said. See, you would think that that would net you more than 20 electoral votes. Despite all the years that that spirit has spent on Earth just roaming and learning, it still speaks the same way.
01:05:08
Speaker
Yeah. He thinks he just fell out of the coconut tree. it's ah just trying it's just this It's the spirit of trying to meet the collegiate word count.
01:05:20
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:23
Speaker
So this is where he gets into this... this text that they find apparently. and for a testimony that the things that they had said were true they have brought twenty four plates which are filled with engravings and they are of pure gold and behold also they have brought bless breastplates which are large and they are of brass and of copper and are perfectly sound And again, they have brought swords, the hilts thereof have perished, and the blades thereof were cankered with rust. And there is no one in the land that is able to interpret the language or the engravings that are on the plates.
01:05:59
Speaker
Therefore I say ah said unto thee, Canst thou translate? And I say unto thee again, knowest thou any of anyone that can translate? For I am desirous that these records should be translated into our language, for perhaps they will give us a knowledge of a remnant of the people who have been destroyed.
01:06:18
Speaker
From whence these records came, or perhaps they will give us a knowledge of this very people who have been destroyed, and I am desirous to know the cause of their destruction." So ah magical plates from a forgotten society. Can anyone translate?
01:06:35
Speaker
This is the good stuff, man. This is like what this has all been building towards. These plates. It's finally like a narrative story. It's like finally something is happening here. It's not just you waxing on about like, you know, being, you know, how following God is good and how disobeying God is bad.
01:06:54
Speaker
Now, these are the plates that have been that have had the records kept on them. So it is interesting that like, we started at the beginning of like what they're keeping on the records on these plates. And then we get to this point and they're just like begging for what's written on these plates. Like it kind of feels like,
01:07:15
Speaker
they kind of it's like, it feels like we got a spoiler, you know? And these are not the same plates that have come down through like Nephi and all of them. These are Jaredite plates, apparently. I don't think it's stated yet, but like, that's what the teaser says.
01:07:31
Speaker
Okay. Now, Amon said unto him, I can assuredly tell thee, O king, of a man that can translate the records, for he was has wherewith that he can look and translate all records that are of an ancient date. Oh.
01:07:45
Speaker
Which is a great skill to have. just Yeah, I can't imagine a better skill. ah That would come in handy when we found the Rosetta Stone. And it is a gift from God. And the things are called interpreters, and no man can look in them except he be commanded.
01:08:00
Speaker
Lest he should look for that he ought not, and he should perish. And whosoever is commanded to look in them, the same is called a seer. So at this point, it's like Joseph Smith is laying out a backstory for himself here in that like some people are just blessed with the ability to translate things from other languages. And you should not look at those things lest you find out something bad and it kills you.
01:08:29
Speaker
So way way the seer who is appointed by God to translate things that are not in your language. So you're saying Joseph Smith writes himself into this book? because He's writing a role that he he planned you know that he's occupying into the book.
01:08:48
Speaker
He's setting down like biblical precedent for what he's doing as he's reading these like supposedly reading these gold plates to a stenographer who's writing down what he says he's translating.
01:09:00
Speaker
Okay. I don't know why thought that Joseph Smith like wrote this as though it was imparted to him. I don't think I necessarily knew that like he included himself in the story as well. Well, I don't think he's including himself directly. He's just being like,
01:09:22
Speaker
Hey, here's a guy that seems real similar to me, and he's blessed by God with the ability to translate foreign languages, just like I'm doing right now.
01:09:33
Speaker
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay. um and behold the king of the people who are in the land of Zer-Elmah is the man that is commanded to do these things and who has this high gift from God oh so he's a king that the seer is a king also and these kinks and the king said that a seer is greater than a prophet which another okay and that's just just like your personal opinion I guess And then ah that you know the king also said that seers have a gift from God where they can have sex with everybody else's wives.
01:10:12
Speaker
It does typically go in that direction. Because they are better than prophets. They're just below Messiahs.
01:10:22
Speaker
And Ammon said that a seer is a revelator ah revelator a rev revelator and a prophet also, and a gift which is greater can no man have except he should possess the power of God, which no man can.
01:10:38
Speaker
Yet a man may have great power given him from God. What a dumb sentence that is. Jeez. Ha ha ha ha ha. And a gift which is greater can no man have, except he should possess the power of God, which no man can.
01:10:55
Speaker
Yet a man may have great power given unto given him from God. like ah Oh, God. Run on sentence. This is what happens when you don't have editors.
01:11:09
Speaker
the Even the Bible had editors, you know like those stories were told for a while someone wrote them down other people got involved there was some there was a lot there was a lot of people who had their hands in in the bible and it still has some marks missed but overall i i really think it came out all right yeah this has first draft energy for sure yeah but he just keeps blowing himself.
01:11:38
Speaker
But a seer can know of things which are past and also of things which are to come. And by them shall all things be revealed. think past, I think that's just called a historian when you're,
01:11:50
Speaker
looking at the past but okay or rather shall secret things be made manifest and hidden things shall come to light and things which are not known shall be made known by by them and also things shall be made known by them which otherwise could not be known i i think he covered all his bases dude every single one
01:12:15
Speaker
Thus, God has provided a means that man through faith might work mighty miracles. Therefore, he becometh a great benefit to his fellow beings. Oh my God. this That's how we got dickheads like Richie the Barber or that that purple haired prophet who is can't shut up about the dumbest shit ever. She prays away your diabetes and your upset tummies. Oh my God, I love that lady.
01:12:42
Speaker
I hate it, dude. I hate You're supposed to bless your pill. She's going to sell you a book of blessings you can make on your pills before you take them. That's literally what she said. It's incredible. It's like a a book of healing prayers that you can pray over your medication or over your lunch or over your your you know CT scan results.
01:13:04
Speaker
to your CTE scan results? Yeah. I mean, there's something going on there in her. She's got some sort of brain damage. and like There's just too many... there's There's just enough passages in the Bible that allow people to be like, regular people can do cool shit too.
01:13:26
Speaker
If I just trust in the Lord, I can tell you all sorts of secrets. It really fucked things up. like It just yeah I just think sometimes about how much better the world would be if there weren't proof texts for people being prophets. It would be so much better.
01:13:44
Speaker
i would ah I'd love to see. We'd have no shortage of them, but at least like you wouldn't have an entire religion lending you some sort of shallow credibility. ah Right. Right.
01:13:59
Speaker
So, um and now when Ammon had made an end of speaking these words, the king rejoiced exceedingly and gave thanks to God saying, doubtless, a great mystery is contained within these plates.
01:14:11
Speaker
And these interpreters were doubtless prepared for the purpose of unfolding all such mysteries to the children of men. Oh, how marvelous are the works of the Lord, and how long doth he suffer with his people.
01:14:23
Speaker
Yea, and how blind and impenetrable are the understandings of the children of men, for they will not seek wisdom, neither do they desire that she should rule over them. Yea, they are as a wild flock, which fleeth from the shepherd, and scattereth, and are driven, and are devoured by the beasts of the forest.
01:14:43
Speaker
Cool. Yeah, so that was...
01:14:48
Speaker
That's chapter eight of Messiah. so Messiah, what a nice name. just think it's hilarious. but People think of when they think of this book. Like, oh, the golden... We have with these plates, we need someone to translate them.
01:15:05
Speaker
then like this is like the this is the be this is the religion. the idea. right this is like now we we've all this pretext is is lending credibility to the idea that all of this matters for some dumb reason it yeah it's just he's writing in like proof of concept as he goes yeah yeah here's here's what is written in these books and here's what is not and why it's not and uh you know actually there's a lot of interesting things in here about you know people i don't know kind of like me you know who
01:15:43
Speaker
You know, are are are here to interpret great mysteries from the Lord and can translate ancient texts and stuff. You know, it's actually it's not a new thing. I'm not I'm not unique. It's been a it's been a role that many have filled over the years and it's pretty important, you know.
01:15:59
Speaker
it's a great rare to mankind too let's not forget that it's super rare super rare oh boy it's gen it's really quite baffling that this religion has any legs like that like it makes sense that it took off where it did i'm guessing like people weren't reading as much the literacy rate was low like i don't it's like I don't, there's no reason, like when you think of all the world religions, like there's no reason for this one to matter at all.
01:16:35
Speaker
You know, what's funny is, yeah, because you the more we read it this book, the more bizarre it seems that this is like one of the most, this is one of the most successful religions of all time when you think about it.
01:16:49
Speaker
Because right there was and infinite number of these like just Christian splinter groups. over the, you know, the past 2000 years that yeah yeah most of it, I mean, almost all of it, 99.99% of just burned out, you know, within a pretty short period of time.
01:17:10
Speaker
This one formed, you know, ah like 180 years ago, somehow caught on and it makes no sense. I just think that as a world, we need to get past like 180 years is too recent, but like people are still trying to do shit like this. And I think the world as a whole needs to come to an understanding that there is no room for new religions.
01:17:35
Speaker
We're done. Yep. That you're, there's nothing else. We don't need more. You're not going to do anything different. You're not going to say anything different. You're not going to add anything that hasn't already existed at some point. Like,
01:17:48
Speaker
We're done. And I'm not one for authoritarianism, but I would welcome just like a car, like a, just a cover all law that says there are, we will no longer accept new religions in this country.
01:18:06
Speaker
I would, yeah. I'd go for it. I wouldn't be mad about it. Let's draw line.
Religion, Manipulation, and Conspiracy Theories
01:18:12
Speaker
I like freedom of expression, but I also am sick of dumbasses thinking they have some connection to a higher power.
01:18:20
Speaker
And yeah like they they get to tell you new things that are actually new. What do we have to gain from a new religion or denomination of an existing religion other than like more molestation?
01:18:32
Speaker
Yeah, I mean... yeah I'm sure when we Google pastors arrested, we'll see more of that next week. I just, dude, I, that doesn't, this offers nothing.
01:18:46
Speaker
It offers nothing. It doesn't, there's nothing about any of the information that this thing offers where I could see an individual being like, if it wasn't for this, I wouldn't have the connection to the higher power that I have.
01:19:01
Speaker
In a way, it's like... There's nothing here. it echoes it's It has, like, echoes of the same sort of, like like, sauce that, like, super insular conspiracy communities have.
01:19:14
Speaker
Right. For sure. Or it's like, ah you know... um ah if you If you go outside a certain time of night, you can see Nibiru, like the glare from it, you know, coming from behind the moon and blah, blah, blah. And like, you know here's the cool thing. This is a really important thing that's going to affect everyone. But you're one of the only smart people that's aware enough to accept it and understand it. You're special and smarter than everybody.
01:19:43
Speaker
I feel like that's the kind of the crux of like all of these splinter groups is just like, ah hey, everybody's wrong on this except for our little group.
01:19:53
Speaker
Now um bring your ah bring your daughters in so that I can bless them. Yeah, you're so smart. You're one of the only, you're so smart that you're like one of like 10 people who ah actually understand the information that I'm telling you.
01:20:11
Speaker
And it's crazy how smart you are to just believe me blowing tons of smoke up your ass. Like you're one of the only people who can handle this much smoke being blown up your ass.
01:20:25
Speaker
And if ah other people, I told them how smart they were, but then it made them not believe. I don't know. There's something special about you being excited about how I make you feel when I tell you that you're part of the in-group.
01:20:38
Speaker
Like it does know, how do you not and like when you look at these insular groups and just like, how do you not see that that's what's happening? It's just like, you're so, so smart to do exactly what I say when I tell you things that make you feel good. I've never met somebody smarter.
01:20:57
Speaker
It's so dumb. It's sad too. It's fucked up. And, but it hits, I mean, it happens. It's, If it's not more, I mean, we see it right now, especially like it's everywhere. Like this, this level of like gaslighting, this level of like, ah there's always groups of people who are going to, but they want to believe the thing that makes them feel special and unique and on the inside. But there's always some dickhead at the top who's like using it to, to make money off of you, to prey upon you in some way. It's never, never,
01:21:30
Speaker
You'll you never see anything like this go off without a hitch. It's never just like some benevolent guy at the top who really thinks he found something. He always ends up in it. So it's he let's go. Ninety nine percent of time it's a he.
01:21:47
Speaker
It's like that it always somehow ends up benefiting the person in charge. And I think that's like the biggest red flag of anything ever. Any, even in Christianity, dude, like when you look at like the benefits that some of these pastors receive their salaries, when they talk about how much money it costs to run a church, when they try to like convince you that they have a really hard job because they're basically a CEO.
01:22:13
Speaker
It's like, do when you have any group of people organizing under the banner of religion, and and and it and one person is reaping a significant amount more benefits, it just get the fuck out.
01:22:30
Speaker
Don't trust that person. like i'll always like I might disagree with you, but when you see like these churches and there's just some dude who drives 2001...
01:22:40
Speaker
just some dude who drives like a two thousand one fucking toyota camry you know like nothing special like look i don't agree with you but i at least don't think that you're ah like a charlatan you're just you're just doing your thing and you're not you're not elevating yourself above other people i hate seeing that shit i'm so sick of seeing people create these worlds where they're on top if it's if it's benefiting the leader ah more than it's benefiting all the other people in the community, the religious community, instantly, you should be like, I need to think about this.
01:23:20
Speaker
Yeah. Again, good fellows. You gotta, you gotta live modestly, right? Keep a low profile, no fur coats, no fur coats. Don't pretend to be an attorney. You can get somebody a driver's license, like just low pro. It's not that hard.
01:23:37
Speaker
If you need a guru, you can have mine. um He goes by The Turtle Hermit, and you can find him on TikTok.
Conclusion and Future Studies
01:23:45
Speaker
ah He is a a wealth of wisdom and just overall great information.
01:23:51
Speaker
Highly recommend The Turtle Hermit. I've heard a lot of good things about Grok, too. I feel like if you need good info or advice, that's a good direction to go in.
01:24:02
Speaker
World War II facts. Yeah.
01:24:08
Speaker
All right, folks. Well, thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in for another installment of our our Book of Mormon Bible study. And we will talk to you next time.