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Ep. 239 – The Book of Mormon: Jacob Tells Sherem to Suck an Egg in Hell
314 Plays9 days ago
This week we’re back in the Book of Mormon after several months’ hiatus, and I have to say, it feels good to really sink your teeth into the Word! We’ve abandoned the notion of going through it chapter by chapter because it is, sigh… kinda boring. So we’re jumping ahead a bit and looking at the the Book of Jacob chapter 6. Lots of lessons here, kids, so grab a notepad and enjoy the show!
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Transcript
Humorous Media Controversies
00:00:00
Speaker
So, yeah, the devil is another thing that comes up a lot in ah in the book, which is, again, interesting considering all of this is like supposedly taking place in Old Testament Right, but not interesting considering the devil's been around for thousands and thousands of years, walking the earth, leading people astray, Casey.
00:00:18
Speaker
Yeah, teaching people to listen to Judas Priest and whatnot. Yeah. Watch Teletubbies, even though it's gay. yeah. Was that what the problem with Teletubbies was? It was gay? I just watched a video, like an old video of a pastor talking about how like, don't let your kids watch Teletubbies because Tinky Winky's gay. He has a purse.
00:00:42
Speaker
He was on like a news show. It was like a morning news show. And he's like, he's like, I think, ah you know, he's purple. And he has a purse.
00:00:53
Speaker
And he seems effeminate. I think he is undoubtedly meant to be gay.
Personal Life Updates and Geriatric Pregnancies
00:01:15
Speaker
everybody. We are back with another episode of Growing Up Christian. I'm Sam. I'm Casey. And I'm a daddy again. It's such potent spunk in those testicles. Dude, I catched to stop. i didn't even come in my wife. She just got pregnant sleeping next to me. That's how crazy my sperm is.
00:01:33
Speaker
Wow. they just They just sneak across in the middle of the night. They got legs, dude. My sperm is highly evolved. It has I think that's a salt, technically.
00:01:44
Speaker
No, I, uh, dude, it's funny. Cause last week when we were recording, I was like, I could have a baby in 24 hours. I think I said it while we were recording. Maybe I said it right before, but I mean, the due date was August 3rd. I just know within that week time span, like anything can happen, but I mean my mid episode, like you can actually hear like drip, drip, drip on his head. That's his wife's water broke right in the middle of, uh, Gaza stories.
00:02:11
Speaker
It's fun. Yeah. and then ah And then that night, I didn't even know. I was just you know sleeping. My wife didn't wake me up. I don't know why. she was like, 2 a.m. started having contractions. And then at like 7, she was like, I think we have to go to the hospital. I was like, oh, shit, for real?
00:02:31
Speaker
So we like dumped the kids off at my in-laws. And they were like, oh, yeah, yep. um But her I mean, my son, when he was born, she was like nine days late. But um given our age, ah we were it's considered a geriatric pregnancy
Aging and Lifestyle Adjustments
00:02:45
Speaker
and they don't like those going late.
00:02:47
Speaker
Yeah, it is. It's so stupid. I mean, i think anything over, which is funny because like we were talking in the discord with some people. i don't know if you had a chance to catch it, but it's like,
00:03:00
Speaker
I mentioned it's just, yeah, being 37 and having my third kid, it's just, it feels weird to think of like hitting that reset button. Like I got the, I'm holding a baby. I'm like, damn, I'm fucking 37. And it's like, I'm locked in again for another like 20 years and in a good way, but it's just, it's a lot, it's s sinking in that like I do, I'm starting to feel age, um,
00:03:23
Speaker
And, but we were talking, it's like, yeah, this is pretty normal. ah One of the guys in the discord was like, yeah, I had my first at 37 planning our next. And then someone else was talking about having theirs at early. I think, I think she said early forties, but it's like,
00:03:39
Speaker
it's just so normal now to like have kids late because obviously we all inherit economy where you can't get by on a single income. Um, and you can't really afford housing with a double income rarely. So like everything's just starting late and whatever, but, um, yeah, it's, uh, so some of that's all kind of sinking in.
00:03:59
Speaker
Um, it's, uh, I don't It's a lot. it's it's It's a lot, but it's not. It's like a weird like welcome. It's like holding a little baby that's like the hand wraps around your thumb and it's like, damn, you can it's like it's so small. These things are so small. You just think yourself like, you're going to be my least favorite.
00:04:18
Speaker
Yeah. i Yeah, man. I don't know. It's just been been a whirlwind. But I, let's see. You know, i enjoy ah partaking in an alcoholic beverage somewhat frequently. But even just having a baby, I was like, I don't want to.
00:04:40
Speaker
Like, it was weird that that was what made you just be like, nah, I'm i'm good. Because I'm like, when you don't have to worry about like waking up in the middle of night and dealing with like someone screaming in your ear. Like you just kind of like, you just kind of get in the motions. You're like, yeah, I'll have a few at night and then go to bed and then I'll wake up with a solid seven or eight hours and feel fine. But like, if you have a few and you get woken up three hours later, you're like, I should jump into traffic.
00:05:04
Speaker
So I'm like, I was just like, all right, I guess I'll just, I have, I like the interest was just like out the window. I'm like, ah so since, I don't know, since he was born, I'm like, I've just been sucking down seltzers with whatever juice I can wrangle to pour into it to make it less boring.
00:05:21
Speaker
But I don't know, that feels good. I feel good about that. It's nice to have like, don't know, you just run out of reasons to like actually take care of yourself.
Bizarre Health Trends
00:05:30
Speaker
Cause you're like, I don't care enough about myself to,
00:05:33
Speaker
to do anything good so it's like oh this guy's depending on me I should probably be here for him you got a skin care regiment that's the new thing ah baby feces it's probably a good moisturizer it's like bat guano is the best fertilizer I'm sure baby feces is like the best ah you know like crow foot cream we jammed the placenta into a mason jar and we've been picking away at that a little bit going to let it sit out in the sun like tea.
00:06:04
Speaker
Ferment. Fermented placenta. Have maybe seen those videos of those dudes, like the like weird natural health guys that like eat fermented meat?
00:06:17
Speaker
Oh, God. What? No, fermented. I didn't know you just ferment meat. Isn't that called curing? Well, you can't really, but they do. and They just eat rotten meat. It's just rotten meat. Yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's what's like it'll be like ah a guy puts like a ribeye steak in a pickle jar and comes back in four months.
00:06:36
Speaker
No way. And pulls it out and it's just slime. It's just like reddish brown slime. my God. And he and he's like, he's like, it does have a lot of flavor to it. And it's always a guy that like he's he's what kind of flavor somewhat trim.
00:06:52
Speaker
Right. But he has real scraggly hair and his eyes are kind of sunken in. And it looks like I don't know, like ah like the last vestiges of normal life for all. It's holding his schizophrenia at bay.
00:07:07
Speaker
But every chunk of like rancid, ah you know, liver he eats just pushes him that much closer to the edge. I don't even know how those people live. like you That has to tear your stomach apart.
00:07:20
Speaker
or they're not you Or it's not real. Or it's not real. Like, is it... Whatever they're eating, it looks gross. I mean, it's hard to say, but i I feel like you can get used to a lot of awful things. Like you you can have dog stomach after a while where it's like, you know, you can just grow biome of a of a wild animal.
00:07:41
Speaker
You just walk around like sampling cow pies, eating snails, jumping on some grass and then throwing it up.
AI Content and Misinformation
00:07:51
Speaker
It's wild. It's so gross. I don't even, fermented meat. That's not even the right, it can't be the right word for it. Fermentation is when like sugars turn to alcohol. Yeah, i don't I don't know what word they use for it, but i didn't Google it. I mean, it is, it's wild. would be normal. I mean, pack it in a mason jar full of salt. You're probably all right.
00:08:11
Speaker
This is like the same crew that like drinks urine. Yeah, for sure. These people are like all that stuff that your body didn't didn't take advantage of. You need to you need to twice filter it. Dude, it is wild listening to anybody give advice on how people should live their lives in 2025. It's like the Instagram and Facebook are so like riddled with absolute horseshit that like is clearly horseshit. But there's so many people who just don't.
00:08:41
Speaker
they don't have that gut reaction to everything they see and they go, I should probably look into that. They just feel like it's, it's truly felt like, I, I think I've harped on this before, but like my Facebook is cause I can't stop clicking on them cause they're funny. It's like,
00:08:56
Speaker
absolutely full of ai monstrous animals um it's like whoa a sea monster showed up and it's just like a bunch of people chilling on a barge like not shocked at all by the fucking leviathan coming out of the it's like and nobody's reacting and then i saw one that had no people in it and it was like how did this get here and it was like some form of shark like saltwater shark and in freshwater. And it's like, and usually you go to the comments and it's like the top ones are like, uh, AI, uh, people making fun of people who think it's real.
00:09:32
Speaker
Dude, I scrolled through like 40 comments and all of it was like, Whoa, I've heard of stuff like this before. It's like, you probably haven't heard of this before. Like people must still see like something wrong think they heard of something.
00:09:44
Speaker
And, uh, Lake Nicaragua is a freshwater lake that has of of a population of bull sharks. Um, e I have heard of that. I think people are saying this is a thresher, maybe? Thresher shark?
00:09:56
Speaker
Those shark right definitely are not in... fresh water. That's like the one with the big long fin off the back. Yeah, that's what it was. And you can see it like it like comes out of the reeds and like there's a water splash, but none of the reeds are moving like it's just typical AI. It's like and then everyone's like, no fucking way. I can't believe it. You got to watch out. Anything can happen. These like they act like literally anything can happen these days.
00:10:22
Speaker
But then when things that like really can't happen that do like, you know, public health emergencies are like, that's bullshit. They'll call bullshit on the most reasonable things and then just watch AI shark videos for 45 minutes for the raging hard on.
00:10:36
Speaker
Dude, you talk about people like giving advice. i I just went down this rabbit hole of this ah rapper from Saskatchewan. Okay, that's a great place for rappers to come out of. It's exactly what you would figure. is that He goes by Uncle Adams.
00:10:53
Speaker
Yeah, okay. And I think he's he's in the middle of like a 10-year saga of like swearing he's going to make it big. Yeah, well, that comes with the territory of being a rapper too, I guess. but Yeah, there is a make it till you make it sort of thing, but most people don't make it.
00:11:10
Speaker
But this guy... ah ah He's so, it's so funny because it's like, it's, it's hilarious to see somebody who's like a quote unquote artist, like doesn't seem to really care that much about the art. They just want recognition for it. Yeah. Yeah. oh yeah And,
00:11:28
Speaker
He is like that to a T, but
Artists and 'Rage Bait' Popularity
00:11:30
Speaker
he's got this like this video series, like a series of diary entries on his YouTube channel. I think they're pretty old at this point, but it's like like I am I'm committing to my dream. I'm committing to my goal of a million of a million Spotify listeners and a billion dollars made in the music industry.
00:11:49
Speaker
I'm quitting my job. And I'm going at this full time. Does he have like 48 followers? having many his follow He probably has more now since you found him. I bet he's gone viral for some bullshit. But he how many followers he has?
00:12:03
Speaker
I'm not sure. I mean, I didn't look that close, but Anthony Fantano did like a review of one of his music videos. I don't get him followers, actually. Yeah. They're not the kind you want, but but in in the world i all mean and the world of followers, it all just translates to the same thing. No one gives a fuck.
00:12:23
Speaker
I am fascinated by like rage bait artists. Like, ah do you know who TX2 is? No. yeah So he's another one that's like, he's, He's figured out how to get engagement by just making like rage bait content. music His music is like cringe, awful, like emo, pseudo metalcore stuff. God, that's the worst. As soon as you say pseudo metalcore, we know exactly what's going. Does he put like...
00:12:51
Speaker
Does he like do some rapping in it too? Yes, I think he does. It's rough. i gary I bet you you've seen this guy before because you've probably seen him pop up on like Catatonic Youth or whatever. He's actually like fairly successful.
00:13:05
Speaker
Thanks in large part to people just hating his music, you know? I don't know, man. I don't know if I have the stomach, if I'd have the stomach for that as someone. Like I take myself too seriously. You have to have like, you either have to have like, the take yourself incredibly seriously. I don't know. There's like, um it depends on what you take seriously, I guess.
00:13:26
Speaker
Like, and where your value sets at. Like if you're just like chasing the money, you're like, I don't know. Maybe it's fine. I think if you were like, all right, you could be this person and have like a million dollars. A lot of people would say yes, but like climbing the ladder to be that person, being that person without the million dollars is the biggest nightmare of all time.
00:13:47
Speaker
Like that. Yeah. You could only, most people could only exist being that insufferable if they had the money to counteract the hate that they had received, but they received the hate for years before they have the money.
00:13:59
Speaker
So TX2 is like somebody who's channeled the hatred into listening, into listeners. And like, you know, he's like touring and stuff like that. But there's, I think they all think that there's like a turning point at some point where people become legitimate fans. And of course he does have legitimate fans, but like,
00:14:17
Speaker
It's just not there. And you're like, all of a sudden, you're like five, six years into this project and every day just going to war online, trying to make people upset and then react to people being upset. It's like he graduated from Reddit.
00:14:33
Speaker
Yeah. Uncle Adams is like, a guy who didn't mean to create rage bait content or whatever. He just, he's just cringe. Yeah. And there was no level of success that came with it, but like the, he categories like quitting his job.
00:14:50
Speaker
And then, you know, you you think like DIY independent artist, right? You know, it's like those are the people that are they're recording and mixing their own stuff in large part. They're doing all of these different. This guy is just like, I'm quitting my job and I'm throwing money at anyone who says they can get me something big.
00:15:08
Speaker
So it's like, oh, you're at you're a publicist. Well, here's thousands of dollars. Oh, holy shit. Oh, yeah. He's like talks about like how he's hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and he's like bumming money off his mom.
00:15:23
Speaker
But which would be you would feel bad for him. But there's such a smugness to him where like he openly just like says like, yeah, you know, it takes no courage to have a job.
00:15:35
Speaker
That doesn't take any courage. Everybody has a job. It takes courage to follow your dream. And what I'm doing, it takes a lot of courage. And and, i you know, I think people need to recognize that it just stuff like that where you're like,
00:15:48
Speaker
why what What's the obsession
Modern Bravery and Societal Narratives
00:15:50
Speaker
in and our modern culture with everybody needing to find a way to prove that they're brave? I don't know because none of us are.
00:16:00
Speaker
It's a very virtuous thing in our culture. You're not. If you're listening to this show, I'm sorry. You're not brave. None of us are. We are a club of cowards, and that's fine. they but Everyone wants to make every benign act of existence turn into bravery. like and and Maybe it's because life's gotten so bleak the only reasonable option is to kill yourself. but It's like you're brave just for living.
00:16:29
Speaker
Yeah. I think like we live in such a, like a, a comfortable setting. Like our, dis like there's discomfort for sure. There's real like struggle and anxiety and whatnot, but not like it's been in the past for humans where like, you didn't know how you were going to eat tomorrow or something like that. You know, like everybody's pretty much doing okay in the Western world.
00:16:53
Speaker
And so I feel like there's a, there's a hunger for that. And so we find it in like these benign ways where it's like, You know what? i so I tell it like it is. And, you know, if it offends people, then so be it. It's like, yeah okay, well, very brave of you. Thank you very much. appreciate it.
00:17:11
Speaker
Because you're not listening to, I'm not, at least maybe it's just the, you know, we're we're we're all speaking to our own personal sphere of online propaganda, I guess. But it's like, yes.
00:17:23
Speaker
What you're not, so I'm responding to what I'm seeing, but what ah what I don't feel like you see, it like that that bravery speech is like people who live in a world where they are like are less safe and have to claw their way to the top and fight for what's theirs and equal rights and shit. Like they're you're not brave because you got out of bed. like there it's a nice So it's like almost like the more comfortable you are, the more you have to like,
00:17:50
Speaker
the more unsettled you are by your own comfort when you're just like that, that's juxtaposition of like the ah suffering of others. So you have to find ways to like explain why you're brave for showing up simply for like being true to yourself. And when, and when other people don't like it, that's super brave ah versus like, you know, being in an area where you might add get a, a knee on your neck or some shit like that because you were like on the wrong of the street.
00:18:19
Speaker
Or like, you know, the, the, the mouthy Molon lobby conservatards people who are like, like crapping on Greta Thunberg for, you know, boarding a boat that's already been drone struck once to, uh, to try to deliver food to starving people. Like,
00:18:38
Speaker
That's great. That's actual bravery. That's danger. That's real putting your life at risk. And then they got arrested and all this stuff. Like, and yeah and meanwhile, there's just a bunch of dudes in the, in the comments being like, LOL, they should, they should strike it.
00:18:52
Speaker
LOL. I hope you brought a life vest. yeah or oh she's ugly guys suck lol she's ugly you get that they'll just comment on like how she looks and shit like that that's what men do online it's just anytime a woman does something good they just call her a bitch and tell her she's ugly shit pretty much it's terrible oh man well speaking of of bravery okay speaking of living your truth, following your dream, no matter what the people around you say.
Critique of the Book of Mormon
00:19:26
Speaker
We're going ah to dive back into the world of Joseph Smith. Amen! It's been a while. Author, podcast, no, not that. But...
00:19:38
Speaker
So here's the thing. We had this grand plan at one point of like, we're going to go through the Book of Mormon book by book, you know, like chapter by chapter and read the whole thing because we've never read it before.
00:19:51
Speaker
Unfortunately, God, the Book of Mormon is boring. It's so boring. It's like 90% of the Book of Mormon is ah is like a guy telling you about a dream he had.
00:20:03
Speaker
That's cool because everybody loves being the recipient of someone telling them about a dream. they Like in real life, that's one of the worst possible scenarios. Like if you go to work, talking about dreams with people you don't know really well is super uncomfortable.
00:20:18
Speaker
i don't know. something personal about telling somebody a dream, I feel like. And it's like like if you go to work someone's like, I had this crazy dream last night. and my ah it's My first thought is always, I don't know if I need to know this.
00:20:30
Speaker
yeah Because I've had some weird dreams. I've had dreams that me and people I work with are best friends and we're hanging out on a boat. Like, whatever. Like, that's weird. Like, your mind is doing weird shit. I've i've had dreams. I had my last job with my boss that I hated. I had a dream that we were, like, best friends.
00:20:48
Speaker
And it was, like... super awkward and like in my dream i knew i hated her but like we were having a great time hanging out and shit and like can you imagine going to work and being like i had this crazy dream last night like that would be fucking weird and i think uh anytime someone's gonna tell you about a dream they had you don't know where it's gonna go and i am certainly not telling most people about my dreams Or you go to tell them a dream and then you realize that you don't remember it like you thought you did or it's so incoherent that once you try to verbalize it, the words just don't exist to explain the space-time continuum issues that exist within your dream.
00:21:26
Speaker
Yeah. yeah you're Your face was a blur and you had a purple skin, but somehow I knew it was you. Yeah. Exactly.
00:21:37
Speaker
Like in this dream, best friends. And we had to put together ah ah shed from Home Depot. But all the screws didn't have like, ah you know, they didn't have like slits in the end of them. So we were trying to turn them by. It was very frustrating. And then my mom showed up.
00:21:56
Speaker
That's how all my dreams are. They're just dumb. Like they don't make any sense. And a lot of times they're either they're either like totally nonsensical or it's like, You know, ah it's something scary.
00:22:10
Speaker
Like I'm some ah a giant group of people is chasing me through like a dilapidated town or something. Yeah. And those kinds of dreams are the normal ones to talk about. Like I had this dream last night that someone was chasing me through the catacombs and trying to murder me. And it was like, and be like Oh yeah, I had a dream the other day recently where I was trying, I was getting murdered. Do you ever actually get murdered in your dreams? And then you have that cool conversation about what happens when you die. Cause when I get killed in my dreams, I wake up a immediately.
00:22:36
Speaker
I don't think there's any other option. If you die in your dream, or you either, i mean, do you wake, do you ever, has it do you wake up? I've never gone to heaven in my dream after like killed a big fall. Have you been killed in a dream?
00:22:47
Speaker
Yeah. Did you wake I've fallen off things a lot. Yeah. Sometimes you do the fall off and then you wake up like you get that and you wake up like and you jolt like you like you were falling like you get the startle reflex.
00:22:59
Speaker
Yeah. But anyway, it's like trying to tell someone a long form dream is whack. And this entire book is is that it's like trying to make it coherent. And it's it's insane.
00:23:13
Speaker
It's like It's like, and then he fills in the gaps where with like the most, not it's always just like, he I might be leaving some stuff out, but you know, the the important stuff's here.
00:23:26
Speaker
Every, every book starts, we're going to go through a couple of books this time around. They're not all super long, so. um Every book starts out that way, which is very funny. but And just just having a – the idea that he's about to state something like – preface your holy – your God-given writings with – The fact that you like are missing things. You know, I'm putting all the important stuff here. Like trying to just cover your ass as you write this ridiculous book is hilarious and of itself. I can't imagine like anybody writing any, like if you're like an ah any author trying to write a book or even about their lives, I'm writing an auto ah autobiography. You're just going to like, there's some other stuff that happened, but I didn't put in. It's not that important, but I did put the real stuff in. So just believe me when I tell you the real stuff about my life.
00:24:22
Speaker
It just, even just addressing the fact that you are forgetting things and not putting it in it is like discrediting and undermining your actual message constantly. It's and it's pretty unbelievable that he goes that hard with it.
00:24:37
Speaker
Yeah. Well, so we we left off in ne in first Nephi, but having skimmed through, so the Book of Mormon copy that I have has like little ah headings at the beginning of every chapter that that tell you what the chapter's about.
00:24:53
Speaker
in relative terms. Just like the Bible. So i'm I'm trying to find ones where events happen and it's not just a bunch of like endless allegories and whatnot. But OK, so we skip through through ah the Nephi's. We're on to the book of Jacob.
00:25:10
Speaker
OK. There's some interesting things that pop up in in some of this stuff that I think warrants some questions. But just to give you an idea. Okay, so like Jacob chapter five. Here's what the sub like the ah the summary says about chapter five.
00:25:29
Speaker
Jacob quotes Zenos relative to the allegory of the tame and wild olive trees. They are a likeness of Israel and the Gentiles. The scattering and gathering of Israel are prefigured.
00:25:39
Speaker
Allusions are made to the Nephites and Lamanites and all the house of Israel. The Gentiles will be grafted into Israel. Eventually the vineyard will be burned. About 544 to 421 Oh, like that's going to be endless. Just talk of nothing but like goofy examples and allegories and similes that go nowhere.
00:26:01
Speaker
And what's ah what's the backdrop of ah the book of Jacob? Is this a descendant of Nephi? Yeah, it's just like, it seems so far like every book is just like that guy's kid writing a ah book.
00:26:16
Speaker
It's such a rip off of the Bible. That's what's so weird. It's like, they oh, Father Abraham and many sons and many sons and father Abraham. And then we're just like, and then he's like, you know what? That's a really good book.
00:26:30
Speaker
idea. I'll I'll write my own book to add on to the book and I'll use all the same plot points and no one will see through it. Yeah. it So what's interesting about some of these is, you know, we've talked about how Joseph Smith is writing this from the perspective of a guy whose only like contact with biblical text is just the King James Bible. And so he's like adopting the- The the language.
00:27:00
Speaker
The language, yeah, and stuff. But also some of the ideas that are just popular in 1800s Christianity that would not have been a part of- you know, this, this era, because we're talking yeah about 544 to 421 BC, right?
00:27:17
Speaker
So like chapter six, it says the Lord will recover. It starts with someone just munching on an apple.
00:27:23
Speaker
The Lord will recover Israel in the last days. The world will be burned with fire. Men must follow Christ to avoid the lake of fire and brimstone. And cool they talk a lot about Christ in a book that was written hundreds and hundreds, half, half a millennia before Christ supposedly was born.
00:27:40
Speaker
Yeah, that's insane. that's Supposedly that God gave Nephi visions of christ about Christ and the Messiah and all this stuff. So this gave him visions 500 years before he showed up, yet no one had any idea. He doesn't appear in the Bible. like I guess you could argue from one perspective of evangelicalism or from the perspective evangelicalism that it's all points towards Christ. um I beg to differ. It's like the book of Daniel is really like the main...
00:28:11
Speaker
Yeah. Thing that points towards it, right? So with that in mind, here's ah this is an interesting section here. Okay. Chapter 7 of Jacob says, and now it came to pass after some years had passed away there came a man among the people of nephi whose name was sheram and it came to pass that he began to preach among the people and to declare unto them that there should be no christ and he preached many things which were flattering unto the people and this he did that he might overthrow the doctrine of christ That's saber dumb.
00:28:48
Speaker
It's bizarre. it's such a rip off of Paul too. It's like immediately every time you hear things like this, if you grew up in Christianity, you're going jump to Christian things of like, there will be people who will come up preaching and telling people the things they want to hear and tickle their ears. And then here we are. just like you just reading all that backwards into some made up fantasy land.
00:29:11
Speaker
I didn't think about it, but it is kind of like Paul, but it takes a much different turn. Oh. And he labored diligently that he might lead away the hearts of the people in so much that he did lead away many hearts.
00:29:24
Speaker
And he knowing that I, Jacob, had faith in Christ who should come, he sought much opportunity that he might come unto me. And he was learned, or learned, he was learned that he had a perfect knowledge of the language of the people.
00:29:39
Speaker
Wherefore, he could use much flattery and much power of speech according to the power of the devil. Oh, has Mormonism historically had ah issues with anti-Semitism?
00:29:52
Speaker
I don't know. and I would imagine so. i feel like just the existence of this book is kind of like, like anti Judaism. You're like, well, they're supposedly Jews.
00:30:04
Speaker
Jews that took a boat ride. yeah ah But it just all of what it's the writings are is just like these there are these people who knew about Christ coming and then like it's super dismissive of the Jewish story, right? Of like the Old Testament story of like the development of the Jewish people. and then you're like, no, we have these Jews over here who knew Christ was coming the whole time. And, ah you know, we'll like do some like head nodding and homage paying, but ultimately like even just the, just writing this story is like kind of in some way, seems like an attempt to eliminate the, the story of like in the old Testament.
00:30:49
Speaker
Yeah, I suppose so in a way. Yeah. So, yeah, the devil is another thing that comes up a lot in ah in the book, which is, again, interesting considering all of this is like supposedly taking place in Old Testament Right, but not interesting considering the devil's been around for thousands and thousands of years, walking the earth, leading people astray, Casey.
00:31:13
Speaker
Yeah, teaching people to listen to Judas Priest and whatnot. Yeah. Watch Teletubbies, even though it's gay. yeah. Was that what the problem with Teletubbies was? It was gay. I just watched a video, like an old video of a pastor talking about how like, don't let your kids watch Teletubbies because Tinky Winky's gay. He has a purse.
00:31:37
Speaker
He was on like a news show. It was like a morning news show. And he's like, he's like, I think, ah you know, he's purple. And he has a purse and he seems effeminate.
00:31:49
Speaker
I think he is undoubtedly meant to be gay. dude i mean It's come up before, like years ago, but I need to find a book that I had borrowed from a friend or a friend had lent it to me thinking that I might want to read it. i I realized quickly it was insane, but it was like that typical late nineties fashion of like,
00:32:11
Speaker
just trying to find all the reasons any sort of benign television shows actually evil. And the book was just chapter by chapter of like all like, you know, was Care Bears was in it and it was like, well, the the things on the stomach is comes from the Hindu tradition of that. And then Hinduism is Satanism basically because the devil led the Hindus astray.
00:32:31
Speaker
And it it's like, it is funny that that phenomenon leads in the connections. And that would be, I got to, I got to find it. That would be a really fun book to like poke around in.
00:32:42
Speaker
That is like such a cross-cultural, cross-demographic thing. The like conspiracy video. link um Have you seen any of the discourse around the Sidney Sweeney American Eagle ad?
00:32:58
Speaker
I just saw a click hole post about how American Eagle apologizes because they were only trying to get people to masturbate with the Sydney Sweeney ad or something like that. don't know. I don't know anything about the ad. don't know what the controversy is. It's like a, it's a dumb ad where it's like, it's a jeans ad and they're like, the whole thing's like Sydney Sweeney has great jeans.
00:33:21
Speaker
And, and there's just like a whole like, like waterfall of, of, TikTok videos of mostly women being like, this is clearly fascist propaganda.
00:33:34
Speaker
This is fascist dog whistling. You know, Sydney Sweeney, ah her initials are SS and she has a German shepherd. yeah it's like No. Nazi this. na People think Nazism is like, ah it's like ah ah a hypnotic like incantation or something like that, that just ensnares like unknowing people and, and drafts them into like fascist beliefs or whatever. It's like, maybe it's just a really stupid ad.
00:34:05
Speaker
like Yeah. Maybe. Any, um, any comments regarding, uh, eugenics or the superiority of a lot. It's a lot of that talk. Yeah. It's so dumb.
00:34:18
Speaker
Yeah. So continuing on, and he had hoped to shake me from my faith, notwithstanding the many revelations and the many things which I had seen concerning these things. For I truly had seen angels, and they had ministered unto me.
00:34:34
Speaker
sounds like Trump wrote this book. like This is written in the language of Donald Trump. I had that thought too. Yeah. Just like talking himself into a hole. yeah they did took they they took girl They took lots of girls. Some girls were taken from Mar-a-Lago. yeah yeah and we're divable We're not doing this.
00:34:58
Speaker
We're not doing this. No, we're not. so the The constant digging himself a deeper hole. Is hilarious. If it wasn't such awful subject matter, it would be so funny. It's like, don't. Are you not aware that the key part of the lore of excusing this this connection is that Trump found out what he was doing and he kicked him out of Mar-a-Lago?
00:35:22
Speaker
because he was inappropriate with a girl there or something. And like, they asked directly about He's like, well, he was stealing my girls that I hired. They're my employees. And he pilfered them. So I said, get out.
00:35:35
Speaker
yeah Again, we're not doing this, but it is very funny.
00:35:42
Speaker
And it came to pass that he came unto me and on this wise, did he speak unto me saying, brother Jacob, have sought much opportunity that I might speak unto you. um For I have heard and also know that thou goest about much, preaching that which ye call the gospel or the doctrine of Christ.
00:36:02
Speaker
And ye have led away much of this people, and they pervert the right way of God. And keep not the laws of Moses, which is the right way, and convert the law of Moses into worship of a being which ye say shall come many hundred years hence.
00:36:16
Speaker
And now behold, I, Sherem, declare unto you that this is blasphemy. For no man knoweth of such things, for he cannot tell of things to come. And after this manner did Sherem contend against me.
00:36:30
Speaker
So Sherem, the demonic entity in this scripture, in this Old Testament era scripture, is just is just advocating that people observe the laws of Moses as God commanded them to, right? Anti-Jewish.
00:36:49
Speaker
This anti-Jewish. ah Old Jacob, you know, he has been ministered to by angels, and he knows that hundreds of years from now, a guy is going to come and die on a cross and take away his sins. Dude, all of that language is in here.
00:37:06
Speaker
Which is so insane. Yeah, because obviously that i those ideas didn't even develop until centuries after Jesus' death. Well, what within, the I think, the second century.
00:37:20
Speaker
what One of the things that's so bizarre about this is it's like it's trying to be it's trying to like be somewhat supersessionist of like Judaism. Like, hey, this was here the whole time and people were preaching it and you guys were just not listening because that's what you've been doing this whole time.
00:37:36
Speaker
Meanwhile, like the New Testament does have a lot of – you know You look at Paul's writings, which really has a reverence. There's a lot of reverence for Judaism. they're like, no, no, you can keep being Jewish. That's super cool. ah this is We're not like dismissing that. But this book is dismissing that. It's like, you're doing Jewish shit and we're telling you, here comes Christ.
00:37:58
Speaker
And you're not listening. And then it's also like kind of crazy ah attempt to... Be like, yeah well, you know, I kind of knew all this first. Like to write this book and and then talk about Christ like you knew he was coming this whole time. You're like...
00:38:15
Speaker
I don't know. It's like trying to write a prequel to a book that you didn't write or something like that. Like, yeah, just you're just showing up trying to like steal points off of this and be like ah, actually, i had this idea and I'm just going to add some shit and make it original. It's like fan fiction. This is like the worst fucking bullshit free download fanfic you can find.
00:38:37
Speaker
It's like Frank Herbert's son trying to write prequels to Dune. It's like, no, I don't want to hear Donnie Herbert's theories on like
00:38:46
Speaker
the big war or whatever. Yeah, it's it's strange. I think ah it's also like what struck me about this story, too, is that this is a guy who ah by the description here, it's like a guy who is just like observing the commandments that God gave them like this is how you're supposed to live you're supposed to follow this code and stuff yes and there was plenty of those in the new testament like jesus confronted people who were you know practicing judaism and stuff like that but like he didn't treat them with like the contempt that this person has for this guy who's just doing what he thinks god wants him to do because wait because god told him to do that
00:39:29
Speaker
So comparing it to Paul is funny because the way that that this pans out for him is is much different. ah And behold, the Lord God poured in his spirit into my soul insomuch that I did confound him in all his words.
00:39:47
Speaker
So God... put He's got a little earpiece in, and God has just given him all the fire bars to shut down this dude's debates. All right? So here they are.
00:39:58
Speaker
And I said unto him, "'Deniest thou the Christ who shall come?' And he said, "'If there should be a Christ, I would not deny him. But I know that there is no Christ, neither has been, nor ever will be.' And I said unto him, "'Believest thou the scriptures?' And he said, "'Yeah.'" And I said unto him, Then ye do not understand them, for they truly testify of Christ.
00:40:18
Speaker
Behold, I say unto you, that none of the prophets have written nor prophesied, save they have spoken concerning this Christ. And this is not all. It has been made manifest unto me, for I have heard and seen, and it also has been made manifest unto me by the power of the Holy Ghost.
00:40:35
Speaker
Wherefore, i know that if I know if there should be no atonement made, all mankind must be lost. Dude, he has, that's some inside, it's like insider trading nonsense right there. Like he knows, like, where do you, why do you know all that?
00:40:52
Speaker
Because the idea of the New Testament is that like Christ revealed that. Like Christ's mission was to reveal that according to a lot of people's theology. So then to just be like, that have this guy just kind of like, he's like spoiling the ending, you know, it's like,
00:41:13
Speaker
It's like ah like a magician shows up and before he gets there, he's just like there's a dude in the audience telling you how all the tricks are done. Also, i'm i'm like i I feel like it's something I should know, but I'm just drawing a blank here. Is the Holy Ghost, is that a thing in Old Testament time no language? No.
00:41:36
Speaker
I mean, it's really like talk of the Trinity until the New Testament. Right. You don't even get talk of the Trinity in the New Testament. Like, I mean, you you would think so based on like God, the father, you know, there's talk of the Holy Spirit, there's talk about Jesus. But there was no developed concept of how those three things worked together until.
00:41:55
Speaker
I don't know which council it was like, yeah that was developed over but well over a century as well. Um, there was even, i mean, even if you look at the new Testament writings, like there it's, my understanding is that there's even can not contention.
00:42:11
Speaker
There's differences in ways that that is presented in the way that they function together. um across different books of the New Testament. So that's something that developed. That was a theology that came after the New Testament. So even that idea was like, you know, that's not strictly a New Testament concept.
00:42:36
Speaker
It's just developed outside of that. Gotcha. Yeah. It's a, mean, widely evangelical gobbledygook. Yeah. I mean, it's Christian gobbledygook. That's widely accepted within all branches of Christianity. It just had to be developed. It wasn't like inherently understood from the text.
00:42:55
Speaker
It came up from debates and conversations and theologizing about how God and Jesus can be one, but different. And then, the you know i think paul whatever is luke luke uh not um not luke acts like the holy spirit comes upon people like they're all like how do all these things intertwine um and so it developed over time that it was three persons in one and then people go back and read that into the old testament like in genesis like like ah
00:43:27
Speaker
And then they said, let there be light, or it's whatever. like the yeah The whole reading the Trinity back into concepts of the Divine Council in the Old Testament. It's kind of like the theory of evolution.
00:43:40
Speaker
o you That's astute point. It's theory, but they call it that because it's it's not fact. It's not proven fact.
Conspiracy Theories and Absurd Beliefs
00:43:50
Speaker
As opposed to the alternative, which is the most clear and obvious thing.
00:43:55
Speaker
understanding Space isn't real and the moon is a hollow space station. And aliens are apparently going to come here shortly. Have you heard about this one?
00:44:08
Speaker
No, I feel like I haven't heard any alien stuff in quite a while. so We'll save it. um I only am just acquainted with it, but I guess so there's something out in space coming towards us that...
00:44:20
Speaker
People are conspiracy theorizing that like based on the trajectory it's in the change in speed. It can't be a comet. And it's basically like the only other explanation is it's alien life. It's ah people outside of our Marshall Applewhite on his ah return. The silver server.
00:44:42
Speaker
a yes It's all just propaganda to hype the new Fantastic Four movie. Yeah. The one that I just heard about is the pole shift. Have you heard anything about that?
00:44:53
Speaker
I haven't. It sounds like a strip club. It's like the ah the poles are moving and I don't know. It's like the earth's going to tilt and all the water's going to go to one side or something. I don't know.
00:45:09
Speaker
Go to one side. Yeah. Like, has anyone ever seen how water works in a sphere? I don't even know that. Like, it would cover some more land, I guess. Don't you? Do you believe in the poles?
00:45:21
Speaker
ah is ah the po Not the North and South Pole? You're talking? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know. I believe in those. Well, then you don't understand them.
00:45:32
Speaker
That's what I tell everybody when I ask if they believe in God. Dude, I think that's what's so funny about this because it's like, and then the Holy Ghost gave me all the all the the just irrefutable arguments to confound him with. And it's basically like, well, you believe modern-day evangelical pastor.
00:45:51
Speaker
This is every megachurch pastor. And the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me. like that's how you make them The argument just comes down to like, well, do you believe the Bible? Yes. But you don't believe in Christ?
00:46:03
Speaker
No. Well, then you don't understand it because all of it says basically that if you really think about it. yeah And so his response, which I think is pretty reasonable, right?
00:46:13
Speaker
So he hears this. yeah incredible heart-stopping argument. and he says, And it came to pass that he said unto me, Show me a sign by this power of the Holy Ghost in which he knows so much.
00:46:26
Speaker
And I said unto him, What am I that I should tempt God to show unto thee a sign in the thing which thou knowest to be true? Yet thou wilt deny it, because thou art of the devil.
00:46:38
Speaker
Nevertheless, not my will be done, but if God shall smite thee, let that be a sign unto thee that he has power, both in heaven and earth, and also that Christ shall come.
00:46:51
Speaker
so But the irony is he's basically telling them that his living is is a living example that God isn't showing. If he smites you, let that be a sign. but it's like, and so far, as long as he's alive, that's just a sign that the dude's full of shit.
00:47:08
Speaker
It's also funny that he gives the biggest cop-out, like, circulatory reasoning answer of all time and writes in a better retort to his argument. Like he kind of just like strong. He just kind steel man's the opposition there and like makes himself look like a fucking pussy.
00:47:26
Speaker
It's so funny. We get about him. Just like, like scowling and carving this into a tablet. it does as Well, you feel you you only deny it because you know it's true.
00:47:38
Speaker
I can't think of anything. There was only a couple verses ago. he's like, and I knew these things, for I had truly seen angels, and they had ministered unto me, and also I had heard the voice of the Lord speaking unto me, in very word from time to time, wherefore I could not be shaken.
00:47:55
Speaker
like His whole thing is predicated on supernatural events taking place in his life, but this guy's... Show me a sign. I want to see a sign. And he's like, you don't deserve a sign. And I'm not trying to tell God what to do, but if I were him, I'd kill you.
00:48:12
Speaker
This whole book's predicated on the frustrated meanderings of an impotent man's like just and anger that nobody will believe the dumb shit that he thinks. This is a shower argument.
00:48:23
Speaker
That's the whole book.
00:48:28
Speaker
I've been doing this all week, thinking about how I'd tell off a couple of people. yeah
00:48:35
Speaker
And it came to pass that when I, Jacob, had spoken these words, the power of the Lord came upon him, insomuch that he fell to the earth. And it came to pass that he was nourished for the space of many days.
00:48:48
Speaker
And it came to pass that he said unto the people, Gather together the morrow on the morrow, for I shall die. Wherefore, I desire to speak unto the people before I shall die. And it came to pass that on the morrow, the multitude were gathered together and he spake plainly unto them and denied the things which he had taught them and confess the Christ and the power of the Holy Ghost and the ministering of of the angels.
00:49:12
Speaker
And he spake plainly unto them that he had been deceived by the power of the devil, and he spake of hell and of eternity and of eternal punishment. And he said, I fear lest I have committed the unpardonable sin, for I have lied unto God.
00:49:26
Speaker
For I have denied the Christ and said that I believe the scriptures, and they truly testify of him. And because I have lied thus unto God, I greatly fear lest my case shall be awful, but I confess unto God." So he did a full turnaround.
00:49:41
Speaker
he That was the sign that he needed to acknowledge that, yes, okay, this Christ figure born 500 years from now is real, and I'm sorry, and I was wrong. And all of you should believe in it now because look at me, I'm withering away. Dude, the more I read about, like the more I hear about this, and like and the more you read, the more I believe that.
00:50:06
Speaker
Angel Studios built their mission statement off of this book.
00:50:13
Speaker
it's just It's all the same tropes and trappings of like any like Angel Studios film of like I told him he doesn't believe. And then he asked me why. And I was like, because I'm right. And he goes, how do you know? And I say, because I am. And I said, you just can't see it because you have scales in your eyes. And God hasn't made those scales fall. And he's like, well, if God hasn't made me, how am I going to see? He goes, you can't. You have to ask God. And he goes, well, asked God and God didn't do anything. And then they go back and forth. And then once the end of the film, the dude, I don't know,
00:50:43
Speaker
has a vasectomy that goes wrong, sees the light, asks God into his, asks Christ into his heart. And then that's it like, and then everything gets wrapped up with a nice, pretty bump. Yeah, this smug liberal college professor who just denied Christ at every turn got hit by a PT cruiser.
00:51:00
Speaker
And now a 15-inch alloy wheel with bald tires is the only thing pinning the two separate halves of his torso together. And he finally realizes
Mormon Historical Claims and Speculative Narratives
00:51:10
Speaker
that he was wrong, and he begs God for forgiveness.
00:51:14
Speaker
Is that the scene from Signs? What is it? It's a mix of signs and God's not dead. Dude, you I really appreciate that you pinned those together, though. That was great.
00:51:29
Speaker
Dude, honestly, all and if Angel Studios had the balls, they would just kind of do their own version. Just push the limits and ah give Christians the horror films they want. Not these like cheesy PG-13 bullshit ones, but like just go like full Final Destination.
00:51:48
Speaker
And it's just like people getting witnessed to, and when they don't accept Christ, they just die in these horrific ways. And they just yeah focus in on the brutality. That would probably save more souls than... you know God's not dead 17 Just do a little rehash of some ah you know um What's his face ah you You could do like ah Obama's Inferno where ah Obama you know meets up with Virgil And he walks him through like the seven circles of hell One of them is just the DNC And he says, woe unto me that I have faked the election And and planted Trump's name in the Epstein files
00:52:27
Speaker
It's a phony. He admitted it. ah So yeah, so what is his reward for this the turnaround and the confession and the and the beseeching of God to forgive him of his blasphemy?
00:52:42
Speaker
And it came to pass that when he had said these words, he could say no more, and he gave up the ghost until he dies. was yeah
00:52:53
Speaker
Because that's how, that is exactly how modern smug evangelicals would write the story of Paul. It was like... He was on the road to Damascus and a bright light appeared to him and God said, lo, thou hast been stupid and liberal and now I kill thee.
00:53:15
Speaker
I can't. Forgive me. No, I was too late. Going to hell. I was going to make the joke that he died. i was good I was close to jumping in and making the joke, and then it was right there. i That's shocking. i But it's also funny because he did specifically say that it's kind of like – I told you so because he was like, and if God smites you dead, that's the sign you need. So like the guy's like, all right, I believe you. and he's like, well, God's going to follow through with this anyway. Like you can't just not do what he said, what I said he might do, you know, to prove it to you. You asked for this sign, bitch. You asked for it.
00:53:54
Speaker
I just have the, okay. I just have this stuck in my head now. The divine rom-comedy. where Obama on his trip through hell ah runs back into that that chef that drowned in the pond and they have kind of like a cute it's like a meat cute. they what What chef do I need? I feel like i'm missing context here. My brain is just completely poisoned. It's not Bridget McCrone's a man.
00:54:31
Speaker
What about, um dang, what's the joke? though The woman basketball player that everyone's calling a man to. i don't know. Whatever. Who gives a fuck?
00:54:43
Speaker
Brittany? brittany Is it Brittany? Brittany Griner? The one that yeah griin went to Russia? No. She didn't go to... it was Who was? Wasn't that Brittany Griner? Wow. i just For the record, I don't know anyone in the and NBA either. This isn't just me not knowing women's sports. I don't know any sports, so we'll just move on. Same. We can hide behind that. I shouldn't attempt the sports reference.
00:55:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:14
Speaker
insomuch that the power of god came down upon them and they were overcome and they fell to the earth now this thing was pleasing unto me jacob break dude he's pumped they watch a man die in agony and then they like an overwhelming force smashes them to the ground and he's like i like this part this is fun for i had requested it of my father who was in heaven for sure it really He had heard my cry and answered my prayer.
00:55:48
Speaker
And it came to pass that peace and the love of God was restored again among the people. And they searched the scriptures and hearkened no more to the words of this wicked man.
00:55:59
Speaker
I love that he thinks that's peace. It's like that. That's like the exact form of negative, negative peace that MLK would talk about is like the lack of disruption isn't exactly a piece. It's just like this idea that something's bubbling under the surface and will inevitably result in the lack of peace. But, um you know, that peace through superior firepower mentality is like, and then God killed everybody. And it it was so peaceful after that. We had the most peace.
00:56:27
Speaker
It was so good. It's like a whole crowd of people watching someone like face the electric chair. Yeah. And then being like, you know what? We were wrong, but I feel a heck of a lot better.
00:56:40
Speaker
Yeah, it's easy to establish peace when you murder anyone who disagrees with you at any point. It's just like, oh, you don't think the exact same?
00:56:51
Speaker
Donezo. It's perfect. Everyone's happy. No problems. And it came to pass that many means were devised to reclaim and restore the Lamanites to the knowledge of the truth.
00:57:03
Speaker
But it all was vain. That's what it's all about. Just the knowledge of the truth. That's how horseshit all of this is. It's like, well, and everything's good because all these people changed their minds and knew the right thing now. And knowing that and just knowing and believing, believing the correct thing is all that ultimately matters.
00:57:24
Speaker
six That's exactly it for they delighted in wars and bloodshed and they had an eternal hatred against us their brethren and they saw by the power of their arms to destroy us continually wherefore the people of nephi did fortify against them with their arms and with all their might trusting in god and the rock of their salvation wherefore they became as yet conquerors of their enemies I got to feel like I feel like rock of salvation is also like a modern turn of phrase. Just yeah sandwich oh for sure.
00:57:59
Speaker
And it came to pass that I, Jacob, began to be old. Now, this is another common theme in all of these books. In the last chapter, at some point, they realize that they're old now and that they're going to die soon.
00:58:12
Speaker
They just wake up to the fact that they're old. I, Jacob, began to be old, and the record of this people being kept on the other plates of Nephi, wherefore I conclude this record, declaring that I have written according to the best of my knowledge, by saying that the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away, i guess it was like as it were unto us a dream, we being a lonesome and a solemn people, wanderers cast out from Jerusalem, born in tribulation, in a wilderness and hated of our brethren,
00:58:45
Speaker
which caused wars and contentions. Wherefore, we did mourn out our days. So again, stealing the Jewish story. Yeah. We're also the the story the Israelis are imposing upon other people.
00:59:03
Speaker
And I, Jacob, saw that I must soon go down to my grave. Wherefore, I said unto my son Enos, take these plates. Nice name. know. I knew you'd like that.
00:59:14
Speaker
Yeah. I told him the things which my brother Nephi had commanded me, and he promised obedience under the commands. And I make an end of my writing upon these plates, which writing has been small.
00:59:26
Speaker
And to the reader, I bid farewell, hoping that many of my brethren may read my words. Adieu. Adieu.
00:59:36
Speaker
So he like breaks the fourth wall. Yeah, it does. It's like a Deadpool movie. eat's the I mean, he did kill a guy. Exactly. It's just bizarre way brutal.
00:59:51
Speaker
Man, what a good book. I really like, I like how all over the place it is. This is um enlightening. ah My lack of awareness over the vast number of stories that the Book of Mormon covers. um I wasn't, know I didn't know. I didn't know there was so much here.
01:00:11
Speaker
Yeah, there is a lot. There's also a section like in the next one where they're talking about like how industrious like the Nephites were and all the amazing things they built and stuff.
01:00:23
Speaker
And they mentioned they mentioned brass, which I was going to look at when was brass invented? Fifth century B.C. OK, so that's somewhat in range, but it says fifth century B.C. in China.
01:00:38
Speaker
So but not in range. Yeah. It also mentioned Steel, which i I know Steel wasn't around. Yeah, it's funny that they don't even that he didn't even think to vet any of that. like he didn't There was no sources to check.
01:00:56
Speaker
There was no like like... I'll just use words and concepts and things that are all relatively recent without one concern that somebody might be like...
01:01:08
Speaker
And this is why, like, on top of all this lore being nonsense, like, more than anything, what makes it seem bullshit is your lack of understanding of actual history.
01:01:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Like steel. Okay. It says steel was not invented at a specific point in time by a single person. It emerged gradually through the iron age, which early forms appearing around 1800 to 2000 years ago.
01:01:32
Speaker
So yeah, there definitely wasn't any steel in Missouri in 500 BC. April was, we were reading pieces of this earlier and, uh,
01:01:46
Speaker
ah she was she read something where they said, ah like, Joseph Smith at that point wouldn't have had access even to, like that like, the Greek New Testament or, like, the Hebrew Bible or anything like that.
01:02:02
Speaker
So, like, basically everything that he had was just derived from, like, King James or something similar. I don't know. I guess know that's true. but Well, it would make sense. that I mean, even if he had access to it, I'm sure he didn't have...
01:02:17
Speaker
ah Given the lack of intelligence that comes through in the book, I'm assuming he didn't know multiple languages. He was kind of like a New England hick living like basically like a raccoon in a top hat, wasn't he?
01:02:31
Speaker
Now, this Jacob character, we're still we're still in like the Middle East area or we're not in the United States yet, right? I think at this point, uh, no, I think they're in the United States now because they're talking about the Lamanites and all that.
01:02:48
Speaker
Okay. Damn. The Lamanites, Lamanites, whatever. I want to, we got a, I want to, I don't, i want to know how they got here. Is there like a clear story on how they got here? Like when they hopped in the boat and sailed the seven seas?
01:03:03
Speaker
um I think there's a vague story about how they... Yeah, I should... Clear was the wrong word. Is there a story in the book that says... Maybe they backstroke.
01:03:15
Speaker
And it came to pass that they got in a boat and they found the themselves a new land to live in. and And that it might be as simple as that. Man, well, this is a ridiculously stupid book. I don't.
01:03:27
Speaker
It's just dumb. It's really dumb. It's so dumb. At some point, it would be fun to, like, dip into some of the, like, calamities that befell Mormonism. Like, I would love to really research the story of, like... ah not Joseph Smith, but like Brigham Young bought some sort of Egyptian artifact, like an Egyptian tablet full of text from like a scumbag carpetbagger character. And he, he saw, he he said it was like the journal of, of Joseph or something like that and translated it and this and that. yeah I think it was Brigham. Maybe it was Joseph Smith. I can't remember. But anyways, like,
01:04:12
Speaker
You know, once they like years later, they found the Rosetta Stone and they were able to like, you know, kind of like transcribe Egyptian ha hiler hieroglyphs and stuff. And it was basically like a funeral pronouncement for some like mid-level bureaucrat or something like that.
01:04:31
Speaker
It's full of that where they make like really bold proclamations or moves on, ah you know, like prophecy and stuff. And then only to find out that like it wasn't fake. It was fake or it's the worst least and like the worst, most nearsighted version of God of the gaps.
01:04:51
Speaker
You're just like, yeah. oh, no one will ever be able to prove that this isn't true. So you can say whatever you want about it. Like that, you know, it works. We like, well, no one can ever prove that there isn't a God. Or you're like,
01:05:02
Speaker
you know, black holes, what's on the other side? And then you just try to come up with some way that it's God or whatever. Like you just always try to have God fill in these like unknowns that seem like we'll never know.
01:05:13
Speaker
um And then they're like, Mormonism is just like, we should do this. We should do that same thing, but with stuff we'll definitely know in about 10 to 15 years. Yeah.
01:05:27
Speaker
they just had know Like, no one's going to live that long. They'll all die of fucking typhoid fever whatever the fuck people were dying of back then. I don't know. I don't actually know history, so I will never pretend to make bold claims assuming that people won't catch me in my mistakes.
01:05:46
Speaker
Yeah, and you're probably not going to just pull doctrine out of thin air about like the inferiority of other races or whatever. yeah Not yet. We'll see how much of a struggle the next few years are financially. I might have to, I don't know, pivot. but
01:06:03
Speaker
I'm ready to go full grift. yeah
01:06:07
Speaker
Oh my god. well Well, I think we'll let off there. There's so much more Book of Mormon left. We're just going to have to continually dabble here and there.
01:06:20
Speaker
i can hear my baby crying upstairs. If you're a Mormon, We're sorry. i know we ah our our books are full of ridiculous things as well, and we believe a lot of things that don't make any sense to the outside observer.
01:06:38
Speaker
It's all in good fun, okay? And you guys are so nice and polite. you know Extend that to us as we make fun of your holy texts and whatnot.
01:06:49
Speaker
But if you are a Mormon, and you probably aren't, but if you are, and you would... Yeah, I would... i I've never heard from some, we've only talked to people who, well, we've talked to one person who left it. We've talked to one person who's in it, but like, it doesn't really make sense.
01:07:07
Speaker
Um, and and I wouldn't mind talking to someone who's in it and would not be offended by our prodding probing questions and, occasional slight, uh, in good fun mockery of their beliefs.
01:07:23
Speaker
We took, we, we did talk to somebody who had just joined, I can't remember that guy's name. He was really, he was really a cool guy, but like we went through this whole story of like leaving the church and everything. And then at the, like the last 10 minutes he sprung on us, like, yeah, I started but but to the Mormon church.
01:07:44
Speaker
That's right. And I laughed with my ass off and was like, thought it was a joke. And he's like, no, I'm serious. And I was like, oh, fuck, for real. Okay. Man, I can't remember that guy's name. He was so nice. We met him through somebody else, like a mutual contact, another guest or something like that. but Yeah, he's a musician, I think. Dude, I think we shared a clip of that one. i'm go to go through the Instagram page and see if I can find it I wonder if he's been, dude, if he, I'll reach out to him. Maybe he like, what what if he went into it like hard, but he was like all in and he's like, no, I fucking love this shit, dude. I'd love to talk
Comedy Shoutout and Episode Conclusion
01:08:20
Speaker
about it.
01:08:22
Speaker
That's so crazy. He's going to go like full on, uh, like Mormon jihadist and try to hunt us down. Oh my God. I totally forgot about that. That was so funny.
01:08:34
Speaker
Okay. I don't, you know, we don't have a crazy reach here. And I imagine a lot of the people listening are from similar backgrounds. Um, but if you know somebody.
01:08:46
Speaker
or ah our or have contact with or direct experience with a bizarre sect of Christianity, message us. We would love to talk to you about it. Or if you have a friend that you know is like a high-ranking official in like Iglesia de Cristo or something like that. like ah Anything like that, I would love to hear from somebody who's a part of it.
01:09:10
Speaker
And i ah just find some of that fascinating. Yeah. Yeah. If your dad was like the only person to chicken out and when Hale Bop went over and didn't, you know, drink poison in his Nikes or whatever, then like, yeah, we'd love to talk to him, too.
01:09:27
Speaker
Any any weird religious experience, please reach out and and let's ah let's schedule something. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Before we jump off, I just want to give a quick shout out to my buddy and former guest of the podcast, Burton Miller.
01:09:45
Speaker
Burton was on ah episode, I forget, episode, I had it up before, two something. um he may He just kind of like hunkered down and wrote his ah one hour comedy, 70 minute comedy special um and booked his own tour.
01:10:05
Speaker
And i was able to go out and see that at his ah Boston date. And it was incredible. Yeah. His tour, I think he might have just done the last date. um No, no, he's got one. and I think he's got one in August. It's actually on the back of my shirt that I'm wearing.
01:10:21
Speaker
it's ah But ah I should have. I wasn't as prepared as I meant to be. I meant to do this earlier, and then I lost my page. um Burton's a great dude. He's very funny.
01:10:33
Speaker
He's definitely worth a follow on Instagram. I'm going to do – of course it's not – All right. August 2nd is in Las Vegas and August 9th is in LA.
01:10:47
Speaker
The Vegas one might be sold out um and possibly even LA now, but if you're in Vegas or LA, look it up. um If it's not sold out, get tickets. If it is sold out, look for resale.
01:10:58
Speaker
um it's ah It's phenomenal. If you grow up Christian, you'll love it even more. um And ah I don't think this is the end of his tour. I think he's doing...
01:11:09
Speaker
and we're going to have him back. I was talking to him after a show. Um, I want to have him back on and just talk about how was. I mean, that's a huge move. Most people are like, all right, I'll dabble. I'll do this. I'll get into some clubs. I'll practice some material. He just wrote this thing and booked his tour.
01:11:26
Speaker
Um, and the show I was at was packed. Um, The audience was lively. it was, it's just phenomenal. And I mean, to just kind of have the stones to get up and to, to write this thing, no real test audience and just be like, fuck it, this is what I'm going to And then take that shit on the road is I think incredible.
01:11:47
Speaker
um And I w I don't know, I can't imagine having the stomach to like, just go out there and be like, we'll see, because if this isn't working, I'm going to be up here for an hour. And that's insane.
01:11:59
Speaker
um But yeah, I mean, I think his the reception that he's had has been great everywhere. I can't wait to have him on to kind of debrief and and talk about how his how it went. And this certainly won't be his last. So just kind of follow him and keep an eye out for what he's got going on, because I know he's going to be working on something else as soon as this one's done. but I just wanted to plug my pal.
01:12:22
Speaker
ah he's He's doing awesome, awesome work. And I think it's worth all of your time and money ah to to buy a ticket to one of his shows. And on that note, um just remember the nine ancestral tenants.
01:12:38
Speaker
Okay. Dream it. Think it, do it. Ancestral. Exactly. um If your meat don't stink, it's not ripe yet. Put it back in the jar.
01:12:49
Speaker
Okay. And we'll talk to you next time, folks.