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Ep. 241 – “Pastor Arrested…” & r/christiandatingadvice
299 Plays2 days ago
This week we’re looking at a couple of ridiculous stories where pastors have recently found themselves in legal trouble (to put it lightly)! Then we’re diving into a few posts on one of the most triggering subreddits, r/christiandatingadvice. This is a place where 20-something youth group kids go to ask questions with somewhat obvious answers to a group of people who give them really awful spiritual and relationship advice 9 times out of 10. It’s a little nauseating, but in the fun, cringe sort of way!
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Transcript
Unexpected Breakup and Emotional Reflection
00:00:00
Speaker
He says, it wasn't a perfect relationship, but I felt like I treated her very well, and it caused me a lot of pain to see her give up on me randomly after everything we had been through together and the good we had brought each other, both spiritually and emotionally.
00:00:18
Speaker
Anyone who thinks that someone gave up on them randomly is the least introspective person on the planet. I thought we were going to get married right up to the moment she broke up with me.
Podcast Introduction and Car Repair Stories
00:00:47
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Growing Up Christian. I'm Casey. I'm Sam. And, dude, I've had a couple of ah interesting meetings this week.
00:00:58
Speaker
Oh, pray tell. So, you know, we have a pretty, like, finite potential client base, like our company, you know, because it's all, like, repair shops and stuff like that for cars.
00:01:11
Speaker
Yeah. um But it always catches you by surprise how many of them there are that you didn't even know were there. You know, you just like go around a corner. It's like, oh, well, how long has that shop been there? And it's like since 1945.
00:01:24
Speaker
Sounds like the perfect money laundering scheme, Casey. Yeah, maybe so. But so once in a while, like shops will they'll send in a request to the company and then they'll they'll like relay it to us and then we'll go out and talk to these people or whatever. So.
00:01:40
Speaker
I've been to two shops this week. What better guy to speak to more America than you? That's right. Yeah, i really get out there in the trenches, the big slop.
00:01:52
Speaker
So we we went to these two shops and the one one of them today, like we pull up and it looks like an abandoned building. And there's just like dilapidated cars all around it.
00:02:05
Speaker
And a big sign that says, beware of dog, keep out. yeah And I'm like, is this is this the this can't be it, right? I mean, there's cars, but like nobody's working here.
00:02:18
Speaker
And then like where of dogs zo a dude are so you don't know if you can trust them anymore. Like they used to have meaning. Yeah. And now it's just anyone who doesn't want you near their house is just like slaps one of those signs on.
00:02:33
Speaker
My wife just said we should probably get one of those for our house. And I'm like, that makes that
Home Security and Dog Behavior Debate
00:02:38
Speaker
immediately makes you look like you breed pit like pit bulls or something. let's you some backyard You expect to see.
00:02:45
Speaker
But it's a. ah I have shared plenty of stories about my dog. Sorry to, I'm going to interject this real quick. And it's like, he's doing well. I've talked about how he's been doing well since we left.
00:02:58
Speaker
I think I've talked about the podcast. Either way, I've talked enough about my dog. yeah way So, but he's still really tough around new people. And, um, we've had a lot of people wanting to stop by see the new house meet the baby and anyone who he's known throughout his life no problems anytime it's someone he's not familiar with though it's like i don't know it's it's tough um so we're working on it we're introducing him we're then we're putting him upstairs because he gets stressed out so it's like short intervals of meeting people then we bring him back down let him hang out for a bit bring him back up so until he gets to know people but it's like
00:03:33
Speaker
ah He's still, it's still a level of unpredictability that I am not comfortable with. And it's like, I, so yeah, my wife was like, we should get a beware of dog sign. And it's just like, that is such a weird, like I, she's right.
00:03:47
Speaker
Right. Like if, if, uh, If someone was going to try to enter the house, like I know for a fact, if an intruder came in, he would go fucking ape shit on them. I don't, and which is fine. I mean, that's fine. I don't own a gun. So I might as well have a dog that'll bite your dick off.
00:04:04
Speaker
But it's, it feels like such a step though, like to get up aware of dog sign. You're like, I'm, I'm entering into this world of like, it just feels like a total transition from like just a suburban person to like,
00:04:20
Speaker
ah Yeah, to like a chained up dog in a fence that will kill you if you try to climb over it. Like even like putting a muzzle on your dog just to be safe. Like I don't know if he i don't know if he would, but just the not knowing is a good reason to put a muzzle on a dog.
00:04:35
Speaker
And you put a muzzle on a dog and people are like, you should put that thing down. like and Yeah, they they look like Hannibal Lecter. Yeah, it's I hate that. true, though. they've They've really muddied the waters with the Beware of Dogs sign because of how many people like just put it up and it's not actually ah realistic. You knock on the door and a chihuahua barks
Pranks, Accidents, and Dangerous Incidents
00:04:53
Speaker
his head off and you're just like, that's it.
00:04:55
Speaker
It's canine stolen valor. It is. And you never know when a lunatic is going to walk up and shoot you in the chest. Yeah. Well, ah speaking of lunatics shooting the jet, my foster son just told me about this story that he, I mean, it was on TikTok. I believe it. It's the truest story you can tell.
00:05:14
Speaker
About the du the kids playing Ding Dong Ditch or whatever. Oh, no. i mean That's not the one I'm thinking of. You know those Gatorade tubs, like those Gatorade coolers that sports used and they like dump it over you and they win or some shit like that? It's like,
00:05:28
Speaker
I guess they were like, did the whole like knock on the door, ring the doorbell, whatever, hide. And then the guy comes out and they dumped one of those things full of water on them. And a dude just whipped out a gun and shot one of them the chest till he died.
00:05:41
Speaker
So anyway, you can't have fun anymore, guys. No more ringing doorbells. It's a, we live in weird times anyway, but where dogs signed this cars in the parking lot? Yeah. So like, you're just not sure. it It just doesn't look like anybody could possibly be working there. And then like,
00:05:58
Speaker
Like the dirtiest fat guy you've ever seen, like kind of waddles out from behind a dilapidated car and stares at you for a second until you're like, oh, and then you wave and you're like, you were working under that thing.
00:06:12
Speaker
That's crazy. Yeah. it's ah So that one, they turned out to be... It flattens out. latins out eyes When they get on their back, it kind of all flattens out. and they can They're like mice at that point. They can just kind of fit into any crevice, you know?
00:06:24
Speaker
Right, yeah. Get that water wiggle build. Yeah. It's like squeezing Jell-O through a mold. It's fine. It'll work. So the other one that we went to is an actual like established shop. It didn't look unusual from the outside, but it's clearly like a very old building.
00:06:40
Speaker
And... One thing that's interesting when you're like in and out of repair shops all day, every day is like you start looking at things like the lifts that they keep in there for the cars.
00:06:53
Speaker
And most of them all look pretty similar. Right. But you go into some of these old buildings and they have like. Very old lifts. And dude, this shop had the sketchiest lift I've ever seen.
00:07:06
Speaker
It was like, you know, they usually have like, it's two posts and they have like movable arms to like hit the frame and stuff. This one had a single post coming out of the ground and then just like an H shaped beam.
00:07:18
Speaker
couple of two by fours. It had like these metal brackets that sat on it that were like very thin looking. And that's what made contact with the frame. So the guys the guy starts lifting the car, and I'm like, this you you use this thing? This is an actual lift?
00:07:34
Speaker
And he's like, oh yeah, we use it all the time. And, dude, it's the car is off-center on it to start with. You can see it wobbling. Dude, when the tires left the ground, the whole car shifted to the right, and then rocked back and forth.
00:07:50
Speaker
And I'm like, are you seriously going to get under that thing? Like, that's... There's no way this passes any sort of inspections like ever. And he's like, bob me we use it all the time.
00:08:01
Speaker
Like, OK, well, I'm not going to get under it, but do whatever you want, I guess. You know, yeah you just man died during a demo. but yeah He's trying to show you stuff. You're just like you can you're like standing off to the side on FaceTime with him. He's trying to show you underneath the car. you're like I'm not going anywhere near it.
00:08:18
Speaker
That is like a common story, though. Every every shop you go into has us at least one story about somebody not setting the lift correctly and a car falling off of it.
00:08:30
Speaker
Usually people get out of the way. That would be so such... I can't think... i've had you know I've had moments at work, right? Working in warehouses where like... ah you didn't stack the pallet right.
00:08:43
Speaker
And then when you jack it up and take a turn, the whole thing falls over and you're like, oh shit. Like little mishaps like that, that you feel silly for. I can't imagine how much of an idiot you feel like if you lift that up in a car, like in a car falls off the jack. I cannot, like that that shame and worthlessness that courses through your veins yeah afterwards.
00:09:05
Speaker
We've all felt like a degree of that. but not so much with like a $20,000 plus thousand dollars vehicle or something where you're like, oh, um that's we're on the hook for that. like that is that That's one of those immediately fired immediately am my fired moments.
00:09:21
Speaker
Right after high school, Jesse, my buddy, worked at a dealership in our little town, and he was back in a car out of a lift and hit a different car behind him and knocked it off.
00:09:33
Speaker
i
00:09:36
Speaker
yeah But yeah, that's that's bad news. There's no graceful way to get it back on there or get the lift out from under it. No. I told the story about me crashing the Jeep in the middle of a demonstration.
00:09:50
Speaker
like ah i think i know I've heard it. I don't know if you told it here. Well, to make a long story short, I was trying to do 15 things at once because there was a big crowd of people around. in a very large dealership in Kansas City.
00:10:05
Speaker
There's about 100 people in the building that I'm doing this demonstration in. And it gets time to where like, okay, it's time to start this Jeep that we're working on to get our services going and stuff. And um I don't drive a stick shift very often. Hardly ever.
00:10:21
Speaker
Right. It's not, it's not second nature to me, like how to drive a stick shift. yeah So I go in there and it's time to start the car and it's kind of a jacked up Wrangler. So it sits pretty high and I'm a tiny man.
00:10:35
Speaker
And so like I go in and I, I pushed down on the brake with hand. You had bring out a step stool to get in everyone. Yeah. Well, I had something in the seat, like a piece of equipment in the seat, so I couldn't climb into the vehicle.
00:10:47
Speaker
So I reach in and I like push down on the brake with my hand and go to start it. Click, click, nothing happens. And like, oh, oh, I got to put the ah I got to push the clutch in. So I put my leg up in there. I'm standing outside the vehicle and I got my my right leg like up in the cab, pushing down on the brake and the clutch at the same time.
00:11:09
Speaker
I started up and I start to let my foot off and I realized that it wasn't in neutral. It was in first. And so the Jeep just like lurches forward and smashes into this big table, like this big metal workbench in front of it. ran over my backpack and crushed my iPad.
00:11:29
Speaker
Thank God nobody was in front of it because people die that way. Like that happens in shops. I could have easily killed somebody, but thankfully it didn't. But immediately, like I just rolled out of the back of it like a like a freaking croissant, you know, falling off of a pan.
00:11:44
Speaker
Yeah. And immediately like a hundred people in the shop all stop what they're doing and like come over to look and stare at me. And I'm like, I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll fix it.
00:11:56
Speaker
Whatever costs, I'll fix it. It's going to be fine. Everything's fine. But I need a minute and I need you to go back to work. I need everyone to stop staring at me. I'm about to cry.
00:12:08
Speaker
ah you And you you you know at that moment that everyone who's there is like, this is what the this is what this is what we get when the boss hires his son. Yeah. Look at stupid chubby salesman thinks he knows what he's doing.
00:12:24
Speaker
okay Callahan hired Tommy Boyd.
00:12:30
Speaker
Well, okay. So ah we're... Should we start with our our our new favorite segment? Our new favorite segment. And it is... i think This is here to stay, guys. At least for the foreseeable future. Because I had friends over tonight.
00:12:45
Speaker
um And he was asking about the podcast. And I mentioned doing this little... past Like how I searched pastors arrested. And every... you're You don't make it 24 hours without finding a new story.
00:12:58
Speaker
Some sad, some funny, some a little bit of both. um But... um Yeah, there's a, I got a, I had a couple, I'm going to start with this one. It's a little on the sillier side. Maybe, maybe, maybe depending on what you found and depending what we have time for, we'll avoid ah child sex abuse this time. i don't know. We'll see. It's hard to avoid that. It's super hard to avoid that when we're talking about it's every article. we It's, it's, it's
Pastor's Scandal and Church's Response
00:13:25
Speaker
all of them.
00:13:25
Speaker
ah Yeah. um But this one is just, ah you know, old fashioned pervert shit, you know? Yeah. So we have ah former Clare Moore pastor accused of trying to film up women's skirts appears in court. You got that one pulled
00:13:47
Speaker
There's a couple of things that are really funny about this. This is a really short one. So we'll just do a little quick read through it and stop as needed. But we have an arraignment has been continued for former Claremore prep pastor accused of trying to film under a woman's skirt at none other than the most Christian organization of all time, a Hobby Lobby in Tulsa.
00:14:12
Speaker
That's like where they're based too. I think, uh, I think Hobby Lobby is from like Oklahoma city or Tulsa or one or the other. Yeah. Maybe he was just thinking that what safer place to try to film up someone's skirt and not be held accountable than an organization, uh, that identifies as Christian.
00:14:28
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Little did he know that, that the actual answer would have been a Japanese bullet train.
00:14:37
Speaker
Uh, uh, 34-year-old Kendrick Oakley, who served as a pastor at Destiny Life Church in Claremore, one of the campuses, was arrested last week. The Tulsa County District Attorney had issued a warrant for his arrest on 11 charges of peeping Tom with photographic slash electronic equipment.
00:14:59
Speaker
And what I didn't know and just learned is that you can be charged with peeping Tom. Peeping Tom is the actual charge. is what it seems like. That is funny.
00:15:10
Speaker
that's that's ah That's a much funnier ah charge than, I don't know, visual assault or whatever you could call um he was a Oakley was bonded out of jail on Thursday and appeared in court for his arraignment on Wednesday morning.
00:15:25
Speaker
ah Who cares? ah There was a little brief update from Destiny a Life Church and Claremore Christian Schools. um Typical for a large, this is a church with campuses. So they by default need to have a school to funnel their money through.
00:15:42
Speaker
ah Wash it clean, probably. um Destiny Life Church and CCS have released a statement. On Wednesday afternoon, Destiny Life Church leadership was informed of the arrest of staff member Kendrick Oakley on multiple counts related to, quote unquote, peeping Tom offenses. The church first became aware of the charges through the media inquiry.
00:16:03
Speaker
Mr. Oakley has served on staff at Destiny Life Church recently. for the past three years. He was also recently elected to the board of Claremore Christian School in late May 2025.
00:16:17
Speaker
However, he had not yet participated in any board meetings nor had any involvement in decision-making operations, like whether or not cameras should be allowed in the bathrooms. and and
00:16:28
Speaker
Guys, I don't know why we're making such a big deal about this. Some people want to take their cameras into the bathrooms. There is biblical grounds for these charges, though, because I mean, you remember the story of Absalom, right? he was like David's son and he was killed because he fell out of a tree while masturbating.
00:16:45
Speaker
oh Got his foot stuck. I think a woman was bathing on the roof. I may be confusing a few stories. I mean, Bathsheba was bathing on the roof. I mean, Tale as old as time is what you're trying to say.
00:16:58
Speaker
Can you imagine like being like you're a peeping Tom to start with? Like just a shameful, pathetic thing, right? One of the more embarrassing things to get arrested for.
00:17:10
Speaker
Imagine you you climb up a tree near the neighbor's house so you can like stare into their windows and you're kind of a toddler. So. you know just like a kid at the urinal, like you have to take your pants all the way down to the ankles. your And then you get startled by a raccoon, and you fall backwards, and your foot gets wedged, and your leg twists and just snaps your knee in half.
00:17:34
Speaker
But you have to hang by your foot, by your busted And your muscles and ligaments. With your pants around your ankles. It's like the funniest visual ever. Yeah.
00:17:45
Speaker
This guy, he they found like the agenda on his laptop and first order of business was whether or not ah what was why selfie sticks should be allowed in the bathrooms.
00:17:56
Speaker
yeah it's like when ah It's like when cops are are looking for um contraband in the at the border. you know Border patrol cops are like walking around with those mirrors. Oh yeah, they got them on the sticks and the mirrors.
00:18:12
Speaker
He's just going under on her bathroom stalls, just looking for contraband. I think we should be able to search for contraband while people are using the bathroom. That's when people vape the most. And what better way to catch somebody vaping than putting one of those Border Patrol mirror sticks underneath the bathroom stalls.
00:18:33
Speaker
In light of these developments, the Destiny Life Church body gathered Wednesday evening to process the difficult news. ah First order of business, but process the news. Second order of business, decide whether or not this is something you can write off and and have him keep his job and go to bat for him or if you need to save face and Now, let's be honest, though. this is that's the kind of that At least with a move like this, right?
00:18:59
Speaker
We have a lot of disparaging things to say about church institutions and how they protect predators and pedophiles. But at least with this, it is safe to say that really nobody knew was covering for like that. That's just that kind of bizarre, weird stuff where you're like,
00:19:17
Speaker
He wasn't soliciting people or engaging them in a way that you could be like, see a red flag, but as a church, try to write off. This is just some one of those things that he does this at the grocery store.
00:19:29
Speaker
He gets that itch and he goes out and he does it. And you you really might never notice something like that in church. That's the kind of thing you do learn about somebody and go, That guy? Yeah.
00:19:40
Speaker
That guy seemed like a nice guy. Like, this could happen to someone you know, and you'd just be shocked. The nice old man next door was a guard at Treblinka whatever. Yeah, I don't know what Treblinka is.
00:19:54
Speaker
It was a concentration camp. Oh, yeah. but I think ah it's weird because you, you, whatever you have pictured in your mind as like a man who gets charged with peeping Tom offenses, this guy does not look that way. I mean, he is like a, he's like a tall, handsome ah black guy.
00:20:13
Speaker
It looks like he's got himself together. It looks like he's in good shape. Like this is obviously like a very weird kink that he has or something like that. Absolutely. I could get dates. Oh, for sure. He looks well-cut together. don't know why that factors into this at all. It does, because when people do creepy things, and they a lot a lot of times, at least in their mug shots, a lot of people doing creepy things look creepy.
00:20:35
Speaker
And you might see, you might read some of that into them too, and mug shots are never the most flattering. But it's, you do, yeah you look at a picture this guy and you ah you would actually just be like, he just seems like, he just seems like a normal-ass guy.
00:20:51
Speaker
This is strange outlet for for his second pent-up sexual desires. another Another victim of purity culture. Like yeah I would picture a guy. Yeah. I picture people like this to just be like, like, I mean, they age doesn't really matter. I could see, I could picture this person being 20 or like 65. Right.
00:21:16
Speaker
But there's like a, you kind of expect like a dorkiness factor, like it, like a little bit, not incel because incel sometimes those like, yeah, you have your neck beard version of incels, but There are some decent looking buff guys who are incels because their personality is so bad that despite how hot they are, nobody wants to fuck them.
00:21:38
Speaker
And there's nothing about this guy that stands out as what I would picture as someone who would be creep. um So bummer for him. Also, he was able to keep up the facade and do this at least 11 times. if you're If you're getting hit with 11 counts, you have at least 22 under your belt.
00:21:55
Speaker
ah This is a ah fairly regular pattern. and I do think it's worth noting that... um In light of these development, oh so they gathered on Wednesday evening to process the difficult news.
00:22:06
Speaker
And then following that meeting, the css the CCS board took immediate action to remove Mr. Oakley from the board. And if you're asking me if having a second meeting after the original meeting counts as taking immediate action, I don't think it does.
00:22:22
Speaker
Yeah. it's That's a fair point. Following a biblical model of church discipline. and Okay, here we go. Kendrick Oakley has been dismissed from serving as an elder and as a member of the church staff.
00:22:38
Speaker
I feel like a biblical model of church discipline would be to stone him. o I agree. yeah i I hate reading state. i It's unrealistic to expect anything like groundbreaking from any organization that has to go through this, like getting rid of someone publicly and issuing a statement about it. But i just I hate the like terms of service, like apologies that they make. It's like our thoughts are with the victims and their families.
00:23:10
Speaker
And we apologize to anyone who is affected or impacted by the events. It's like, yeah, it's good apology. like This is a time to fire one off the cuff and just be like, we're disgusted by this and we have dismissed him.
00:23:25
Speaker
ah We hope that you know the victims and their families find peace in the midst of all this. Instead, it's like, without his consent, we have enrolled him into our church's biblical counseling program.
Prisoner Complaints and Online Safety Concerns
00:23:40
Speaker
If he wants to continue to be a faithful member, he will show up and agree to everything that we say and talk about how sad he is that did the wrong thing. And then we will reinstate him eventually because he was sorry.
00:23:53
Speaker
He was sorry. And we believe that he truly has repented and that the Lord Jesus Christ has changed his heart and has rehabilitated him. And he is now able to effectively serve in ministry again.
00:24:05
Speaker
Yeah. You think in prison, like he's going to take up some extracurricular activities like photography? Yeah. yeah I um handle resolve it i just saw it out a brief thing. It was like, I didn't even read the article. It's just that headline read, but I don't know. I don't know why I was making the rounds. I think there's a reason I should know this person's name.
00:24:28
Speaker
His face looks familiar, but convicted killer, right? um He's in a maximum security prison and I guess he, I don't know if he filed a formal complaint or some sort of motion.
00:24:42
Speaker
ah I'm assuming he had to have done that in order for this to be news, but news can be anything that wastes our time now. ah But his he's feeling really upset and sad because I guess people on the ah in the prison are...
00:24:57
Speaker
and are intentionally taunting him after hours at lights out and he's like, I can't get any sleep. It's like emotional torture. Oh, no. know. Oh, that's sad.
00:25:10
Speaker
It's so sad to hear what people go through in high security, maximum security prisons. It's just... I don't know. Maybe he can get, maybe if he, ah maybe if he knows at least one underage child that Trump slept with, he could get, or I should say raped. Let's not make it sound consensual anyway, but maybe, maybe he can get, a what's the, what's the prison that Ghislaine got transferred to?
00:25:36
Speaker
Some sort of like club fed. Yeah. Club fed. Martha Stewart, like summer camp sort of prison. Yeah, maybe he can maybe maybe maybe he can get there.
00:25:48
Speaker
You just got to have the right dirt on the right people and you can have the cushiest jail sentence of your life. Yeah. Instead, he's stuck in maximum security every time he tries to get some shut eye. Ted Kaczynski calls him the F-slur.
00:26:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:05
Speaker
Do you think ah I wonder how he was covering for his actions while he was because he said it says he followed the lady around and tried to film under her skirt several times. So like, yeah, I wonder what sort of sneaky things he was doing to try to disguise like look natural when he was in it like.
00:26:22
Speaker
Is he like just picking up pieces of floral foam, you know, and inspecting them? Or is he like sitting there reading pages out of Mike Lindell's autobiography? he he accidentally knocked boxes of crackers off the end cap and slowly picked them up.
00:26:39
Speaker
Keeps keeps picking up cursive pictures of a sign that says, ah you know, let go and let God. Yeah, it's Hobby Lobby. Yeah, it's not a grocery store. he Can you imagine him clumsily and knocking things over like five times in a row and that's how he got caught?
00:26:57
Speaker
He's just like, what are you doing? He's like, nothing, just a clumsy guy. She's like, why is your phone on the ground? Why is the flash on, dude? He just forgets to turn the flash off.
00:27:11
Speaker
Oh, man. The brazenness of of trying to like... Of following someone around and trying to fill up their skirt is so nuts. It's crazy. You've got to certifiably insane.
00:27:22
Speaker
It has to be... Part of the enjoyment of that is... i mean, it's not even part of like any You can... you can access whatever material you want online. So it probably started there.
00:27:36
Speaker
ah But whatever rush he got while doing it and not getting, i bet even getting caught. Because I mean, if he's got 11 of these under his belt, unless they just hit him with 11 things somehow, you know how it works when they throw the book at you, they can just kind of like...
00:27:52
Speaker
figure out a way to charge you as much as I can. But still, like a guy like this isn't doing it that one time and then getting caught. like he He had probably had some moments where people turned around and were like, what the fuck? And like yeah what do he took off he took off running.
00:28:06
Speaker
like And then he went back to do it. some more like that there's a like Part of the like it for these people is just like, you're getting that rush. like It's like gambling, right? Like you get that rush when you win or lose. And so the losing rush is even what I hear, like even stronger because it's like the more you lose when you win, it's that much better. I don't know. It's like, is it the same? Is it that same kind of thing where you're like,
00:28:30
Speaker
getting caught is like you don't want to. But also, he's probably never felt more alive than when he's running for his life after somebody realizes doing it It's like, see the only way I feel alive now, guys.
00:28:42
Speaker
Yeah. Crazy shit, though. Crazy. You think Hobby Lobby was part of the. Skydiving. Yeah. Was what? Like, do you think Hobby Lobby like doing it at Hobby Lobby was a specific part of the kink? Like he wants he wants to to to film someone who's buying supplies for paracord bracelets.
00:29:01
Speaker
It's just, it's, it's the knowing it's like he can't, it's like you can't shit where you eat. So he's not doing it at church. What's the next best thing?
00:29:13
Speaker
Uh, we recently went into Hobby Lobby to get some stuff for a project that April was doing. How do you feel supporting that? hate that store. I don't care about that. Honestly, I bet you still eat. I really don't.
00:29:27
Speaker
I feel like i do eat a Chick-fil-A. No, I fucking love eating at Chick-fil-A. it It's just a terrible store. I intentionally solicit but as many my pleasures as I can possibly get. That's my kink.
00:29:43
Speaker
if i don't If I don't solicit at least 10 my pleasures. I remember one time I went to, it was when we lived in Lynchburg, man. i they There was a Chick-fil-A and I remember how shocking it was when I was like, I said, thank you.
00:29:57
Speaker
And the guy just was like, mm-hmm. And nodded. looked like he didn't want to work there. And there's no faster way to get fired at Chick-fil-A than not saying my pleasure. And it was, you're so accustomed to it there. Like when you first go to a Chick-fil-A, it's a little jarring. I'm from New England where everybody looks like they spit in your fast food.
00:30:15
Speaker
And then you're at Chick-fil-A first time eating there. I'm in like college and everyone's like smiling and saying my pleasure and like, looks like they don't want to kill themselves. It's crazy.
00:30:27
Speaker
And so then you get used to that. You're like, I like that. That's a nice experience. And then, you I get this cashier who won't say my pleasure, won't say it. And so I go, the first time I say thanks, it's before my order is even up. And I realized he doesn't say it. And I was taken aback. So i I intentionally found a way to say thank you at least five or six times to the point where I'm like looking him dead in the eyes. And I'm like, thanks so much. Thank you.
00:30:58
Speaker
Thank you. And he's like, just just glaring at me like, mm-hmm. No problem. And he was in the right. I wanted to be like, what if I grabbed him? How did you even notice that? What if I grabbed him by the lapels was like, God damn it's my pleasure. You turned him in afterwards, didn't you? Oh I got that bitch fired so fast. He didn't stand a chance. Have fun at Taco Bell, douche.
00:31:23
Speaker
Yeah, that's where you belong. A sad sack, sassy pants like yourself. That's more Burger King, dude. Go get a job at Burger King.
00:31:34
Speaker
Uh, so i mean this is obviously dipping into this forbidden topic, but you want to hear my other one? Dude, I bet it's the other one I have pulled up. I have it up on my phone. like this one for a specific reason that I think you'll be, you'll think is funny.
00:31:47
Speaker
Well, if it's the number of teens abused, then I don't know if we're on the same page. Oh, I so i did see that one. I skipped that one. This one says Virginia youth pastor elicited for, or arrested for soliciting explicit materials from minors.
00:32:02
Speaker
Oh, and I saw that one, but I didn't look into it. I didn't. This picture looks like at honest youth pastor. ah hat on that I Isn't it Honest Youth Pastor, the guy that you hate so much? the Yeah. I tried to get him on.
00:32:19
Speaker
I tried to get him on the podcast. He was awful. Gay people are going to hell deal with it. Yeah. and he oh he has He's such a... He's a smug bitch, too. He... yeah. The way he talks... It's just that like cool... kind like Not cool as in like I'm neat.
00:32:35
Speaker
It's like that cool-headed... like it's that bullshit form of apologetics where like you you talk and act like you're the most reasonable person in the room while saying the most obviously unreasonable things hoping that your demeanor sells your bullshit it's awful yeah we tried to get him on and he was like i can only do this time i can only do this time at like 11 o'clock in the morning. I'm like, oh, that's right. I forgot. It's because you're a pastor. So you don't have a real job.
00:33:09
Speaker
You can just take time away and call it work to, to argue with quote, what you would consider quote unquote liberals about why they're wrong about everything. Well, he might be singing a little different tune now because we're going to assume that his name is Jacob Barnett. Authorities say Jacob Barnett used various social media accounts to solicit sexually explicit material from underage girls across state lines while serving as youth pastor at Catawba Valley Baptist Church.
00:33:35
Speaker
leading to his arrest on August 7th. Burnett, 34, was apprehended by FBI agents August 6th in North Carolina and is being held at the Kadava County Detention Center in North Carolina without bond, according to media reports.
00:33:49
Speaker
Dude, you know you really fucked up when it's the FBI that's handling your case. Normally, like, the cops are like, this guy hey, I think we got a pervert on our hands. And then, like, you know you've done this so many times in so many areas when the FBI gets involved.
00:34:06
Speaker
The cops are like, this is outside our scope. So he solicited. he basically. OK, it a May 18th tip led the FBI to investigate a tick tock account appearing to belong to a teen boy named Jody Johnson.
00:34:22
Speaker
These guys are always great with thinking up cover names. Yeah, just shitty alliteration. pet individual had contacted a 15 year old girl in michigan and after leading her to exchange phone numbers and days of persistent messaging convinced her to send a sexually ah explicit video of herself dude i hate this world i hate that like it's that easy it's like i don't know i don't know what it is about any like people my age like people in their thirty s are like
00:34:54
Speaker
They go on a couple of dates from some app and then just like, yeah, you know, you just start sending nudes though. I can't imagine. can't, I don't know. Maybe, maybe if I was single and dating in this crazy time, uh, I'd be doing some weird shit that I wouldn't be proud of, but I don't know. That seems like, I don't know if it's just, I don't know. It feels like such a wild step to just be that comfortable and be like, yeah, I'll just send this quick picture.
00:35:22
Speaker
yeah you should just start an Instagram account. It feels like it should be harder. Spicy pics. I know. Ooh. Like that friend of ours. The investigation revealed that the account belonged to Barnett, with phone records confirming he had sent messages sent the messages and routinely interacted with minors online.
00:35:40
Speaker
His TikTok account followed, quote, thousands of young girls. Burnett also used other social media accounts such as Snapchat and Discord to pose as a teenager and solicit sexually explicit videos from minors.
00:35:53
Speaker
Dude, I have to say, like, I watch a lot of, like, ah you know, YouTube videos where it's like, like, ah Turkey Tom will do, like, You know, the the degenerates of 4chan, and it'll be like just a bunch of stories about people that were on 4chan, did crazy things or whatever, right?
00:36:12
Speaker
Discord is where, that is the pits of hell. Like, that is where every creep goes to do creepy things. it is and It is literally like where all of these stories end up is on is in like a private Discord server.
00:36:26
Speaker
Well, I just saw, this is another headline that I'm just gonna... The headline it was basically that a mom was filing a lawsuit. I want to say it was against Discord because someone used Discord to kidnap her kid or some shit like that. but like Oh, i think i I think I heard that story. Yeah, but it I i'd want to say some of it has to do with how, not secure, i don't know if that's the right word, but like encrypted Discord. Like,
00:36:55
Speaker
You're not, it's like when people want to get like, you know, a terrorist's iPhone and Apple was all like, nah, like shit out of luck, dude. Like this shit's locked the fuck down and you'll never get it um And I feel like Discord's kind of like that.
00:37:11
Speaker
um But it's like so big and used as a social hub as opposed to like WhatsApp that people would use to have private communication where it's direct versus like using a ah ah social hub with thousands of people in a server to to try to connect.
00:37:29
Speaker
Cast a wide net, if you will. You know what is supposedly like, just watched a video about this too, but supposedly like a really bad place for where a lot of like child exploitation starts and takes places is on a Roblox.
00:37:45
Speaker
Yes, dude. Yes. Roblox is supposed to be just filled with pedophiles. it's It's a horrible place. And i like that's one of those things. like My daughter will ask like because she has friends that are on Roblox. And I'm like, we we let her on it before.
00:38:00
Speaker
And I had to like figure out how to disable all forms of communication because they default set you up with like Everyone can talk to each like The default is that it's an open communication platform.
00:38:12
Speaker
And they don't require any any personal info or verification or anything. So it's basically like completely anonymous. So they have to they have to catch people off-site. you know like When they take them to Snapchat or Discord, that's where they end up catching them.
00:38:30
Speaker
Yeah, it's nuts, dude. So, I mean, she has a friend that will use it. um And this friend's dad is like one of those like one of those more savvy people that has like all of his his kids' internet access.
00:38:45
Speaker
Everything's on lock. Yeah. He can look at their screens. He can shut their stuff off whenever he wants. He puts on stuff. So he's like, he has all the stuff to do that. I know that's accessible. And but I believe all that shit's like free for like child protection.
Christian Relationship Dynamics and Breakup Advice
00:39:02
Speaker
I haven't gotten involved in using it because my kids aren't online, but i um My daughter will ask to use it, and I'm like, um sorry, I'm drawing the line there, and I will not let you on fucking Roblox.
00:39:14
Speaker
i don't I think that's a good plan. it's i It's such a cesspool. So last note on this story. jake Jake Burnett had preached at the church as recently as July 27th. His passage was out of Luke 12, 49 through 59, entitled, Not Peace, But Division.
00:39:34
Speaker
Oh, I love when pet evangelical pastors preach on that. You want to hear it? Yeah, like I'm sure it follows right into their like rhetorical goals, for sure. Absolutely.
00:39:45
Speaker
This is Jesus talking. He says, "'I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled, but I have a baptism to undergo. And what constraint I am under until it is completed.
00:39:57
Speaker
Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division.'" From now on, there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three.
00:40:08
Speaker
They will be divided father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law over the real cause of COVID-19. And it's going to be more of that.
00:40:26
Speaker
What passage is it? what what passage is it It's Luke 12, 49 through 59. It would have been great to hear what his sermon was on this because I bet you it is so annoying, especially coming out of his fat, stupid face.
00:40:43
Speaker
I was just trying to do a quick look up. Not that I'm using Google to look something up quick is entirely accurate, but... I find that that that verse so interesting, those verses so interesting because I remember as a kid asking about it. like that's one of those verses that That's one of those series of verses that kids have questions about because it kind of falls outside of everything that we were taught as kids about Jesus.
00:41:11
Speaker
Uh, it feels like it goes contrary. So then they find a way to like fit it into the mold. They're like, well, you know, it goes along with everything he says, but people will, it's going to be divisive because people hate what Jesus said so much that they're gonna, it's gonna cause division and families will separate and over it and stuff like that. But I was wondering if, because it seems so outside of what you would expect,
00:41:34
Speaker
based on the like what you read about him in the Gospels, if it was like a later ah later edition or something like that. It means throw your daughter out of the house if she paints her fingernails black.
00:41:48
Speaker
It's not a feminine color. and It's even worse if your son paints her fingernails black. Goth and gay, dude? I don't think so. Yeah. but So um I was thinking about it this week because I feel like we wanted to give ah the Book of Mormon a little break, little break from the firestorm.
00:42:10
Speaker
Yeah. but So I got to thinking about it. I'm like, I wonder if there's like some places for Christian dating advice. And sure enough, there is a Reddit server specifically for Christian dating advice. Dude, Reddit is bumping with Chris. I'm on i'm subscribed to a lot of...
00:42:29
Speaker
Christian Reddit pages.
00:42:33
Speaker
to the im Sorry. like um now that Now that I'm in the basement again, but we had that old, ah you could hear the, in my old spot, you could hear when the toilet flushes, but you can hear that here. Definitely.
00:42:47
Speaker
um Hopefully I'll be in an insulated space. Eventually. um i can also hear. He's sitting on a toilet though. i Yeah. Yeah. I can also hear my wife telling my kids go to bed and shit like that. So I'm like, that's echoing through.
00:43:02
Speaker
Anyway, just acknowledging that and apologizing. um Yeah, I'm subscribed to several Christian Reddit threads. And 80% of it is like, is it is it is it wrong to be gay? and The amount of gay talk on Reddit is it through the roof.
00:43:18
Speaker
If you look at controversial posts, it's all just that like, So there's no such thing as being gay, right? It's like every pose. There's just people yelling at each other.
00:43:31
Speaker
The other one that's as awful as, uh, as the Christian ones is like, I don't, I might be an R slash atheist, but it's always, there's like debate in atheist. There's a debate in atheist thread, um, or a subreddit. Sorry. We're going to don't come after me.
00:43:48
Speaker
Um, And all of, dude, all of the debate atheist subreddit posts are like just classic Christian rage bait of like, du it's just like the most like, it's, it's, it's, it's those like classic old school atheist arguments about like,
00:44:11
Speaker
Actually, the burden of proof is actually on Christians because you can't disprove a negative. And then just watch everyone say the same shit you've heard for the past 30 years.
00:44:22
Speaker
Yeah. Good God. Good fucking God. These people are so regressive. ah So let's let's make it clear that while we on this program like to take our shots and have our fun with – our the community that raised us a lot of you read it atheists need to get fucking job yeah they're just as bad well i was kind of looking through some of these and there's a lot of common themes here think um i think you'll notice that you run into the so what i've found looking at this how often does equally yoked come up you see that one a lot
00:45:06
Speaker
I didn't see it today, but I'm sure it's in there a lot. There's so I think Christianity when it comes to dating, like people who are Christian and dating and going through all this, like they're going through all the same, the exact same emotions and problems and stuff as everybody else.
00:45:27
Speaker
Christianity just adds this like overbearing, like a sense of, moral high groundedness to everything yeah yeah because you can just like weaponize little pieces of it to to fit your case against your partner in every instance like every one of them on here i've i've read there's a couple there's a couple that are like genuinely just nice people that are asking for help or whatever you know but most of this is like I've tried really hard to reason with my boyfriend or girlfriend, and I tried to tell them what God was laying on my heart, but they just turned a cold shoulder to me.
00:46:08
Speaker
And it is just funny to to read them and like just the Lord told me specifically that he wants me. He wants us to try anal.
00:46:19
Speaker
OK, dude. And ah and the the The posts are are one thing. like There's some kind of annoying things in there or whatever, but they're they're usually fairly mild.
00:46:30
Speaker
The replies are so annoying. yeah It's just unbelievable. That's where the fun is, dude. The replies are... The amount of times I have just scrolled for...
00:46:43
Speaker
I don't do you just keep scrolling you scroll and scroll and scroll just go it like the replies are where the fun is and then the replies to the replies it's I've occasionally gotten involved in and left some comments here and there and unfortunately i don't I don't know i don't solicit the reactions that I want so I gotta to I have to refocus a little bit because maybe i hit that Maybe I'm just not on it enough so I hit the threads too late.
00:47:11
Speaker
like Sometimes if you're a little late on it you're just not going to get any reaction. but Right. Man, I occasionally I go out of my way to try to get involved in a Reddit argument just to pass the time. And it never goes anywhere. I got to up my game. I got to figure out how to like solicit the reaction. got to unabashedly more inflammatory. Yeah, yeah. Like really exaggerate what your actual thoughts are.
00:47:34
Speaker
i think i think if you write more than two sentences and try to be a reasonable person – and provide actual information that gets overlooked. It's when you say like two sentences of something really stupid that you'll, you'll just start a fucking forest fire.
00:47:49
Speaker
So a lot of these also should note these, a lot of these are young people, which I think is a factor that, that, What is their age Reddit? adds a lot gravity to them. Well, a lot of them say what their age is, and it's usually early 20s, something like that.
00:48:07
Speaker
yeah So this one says, Christian breakup advice. Hey, everyone. Do you remember like the conversations we had in my dorm when the twins were awake about relationship stuff?
00:48:20
Speaker
And it was just like, i I can't recall specific conversations, but I remember a couple nights of like, when when my roommates were gone and me and you were just hanging out in my dorm room late and talking about like girlfriend problems and this and that. And you're like, the thinking back on what that was was if If that was recorded on Reddit, we'd be making fun of us so hard right now.
00:48:43
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. The things that I was very stressed out about that didn't matter. I mean, that was most of what I was stressed out about. So this one says Christian breakup advice.
00:48:56
Speaker
Hey, everyone. I recently went through a breakup about a month ago. And I'm just wondering if anyone has any biblical wisdom. Up until the day she broke it off with me, i was expecting it to end in marriage.
00:49:07
Speaker
And she led me to believe that she felt the same way throughout the entire relationship. What a Jezebel, dude. Right away we see that yes, This is a deceitful evil woman we're dealing with. deceitful. What an Eve. side you've got a stalwart Christian man committed to marriage.
00:49:24
Speaker
He's not here for casual friendship. He's not here just to have some fun, like the world says. He's here looking for a partner. All right? A life partner. A submissive trad wife partner.
00:49:38
Speaker
Now, to his to his benefit, he or to his credit, he says, it wasn't a perfect relationship. But I felt like I treated her very well, and it caused me a lot of pain to see her give up on me randomly after everything we had been through together and the good we had brought each other, both spiritually and emotionally.
00:49:59
Speaker
Anyone who thinks that someone gave up on them randomly is the least introspective person on the planet. I thought we were going to get married right up to the moment she broke up with me.
00:50:11
Speaker
It was just very unexpected and I've been having a hard time handling it. I constantly find myself either sad or mad. Any tips for how to move on and get past the feelings of bitterness and anger towards her?
00:50:24
Speaker
i know I need to be forgiving, but it's hard to look past the hurt. The only thing that has been helping me is my daily Bible reading. If I didn't have Jesus, I would be in a much worse situation.
00:50:36
Speaker
I always like that perspective too, because I've i've i've said things like that before. But, you know, testimony time at youth group if i didn't have jesus i probably would have killed myself like you and you're just like no you wouldn't have dude you're 15 yeah i was fine i was just emotional and sad and one wanted to leverage my spirituality for sympathy and concern because that was the only way to get anyone to pay attention to me But I also, ah and like that any way to get past the bitterness and hurt before I do the typical down spiral into being one of those conservative evangelical men that hates women and thinks they're subservient to me?
00:51:19
Speaker
So, ah first one, it says, when I was going through a bad breakup, the thought that helped me was knowing that no woman would ever love me as much as God does. That's pretty helpful.
00:51:32
Speaker
Yeah. Too bad God can't fuck me.
00:51:40
Speaker
Unless you count all those wet dreams I have from that oath of the the oath I took to swear off masturbation for a year. but
00:51:53
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:52:00
Speaker
well sounds exactly like my life without god this life would be pure hell living with this experience yeah very dramatic very hard times over there experience that 100 of the country shares the world 100 of humanity shares this experience of having a breakup
00:52:24
Speaker
ah Okay, so it says, Jesus says, give all your worries and woes to me, and he will take them away from you. how do you know How do you do this? I will tell you how. One. Okay, you ready? Two-step process.
00:52:37
Speaker
One. Pray. Ask for forgiveness for sexual immorality if this is what you did with her. Projection. I love it. Because that's the only, I mean, look, your your your relationship is failing.
00:52:49
Speaker
Okay, well, just show me where the sexual immorality is and I'll tell you, I can give you some exactly how to deal with it. You know? ah Two, with the spoken word, pray to God saying, Jesus, I give blank to you in the emotions attached to her.
00:53:07
Speaker
And I cut the cord connecting myself to her in Jesus name. Mommy is saying this prayer. You physically with your hands in a scissor motion, cut the cords that connect you to her.
00:53:24
Speaker
that'll help you think of her as not think of her as often. And eventually it will go away. i mean, sure. Probably. i mean, time heals all wounds. It's also funny about this stuff is like, if you just keep praying, eventually you'll feel better. And it's just like, yeah, time does the same thing, dude.
00:53:46
Speaker
Eventually you're just going to be okay. Okay.
00:53:50
Speaker
It's also funny when you have like just absolutely no decent content in this, in the comment section and stuff. Right. And then you get a comment like this. I'm happy. I found this thread. My girlfriend dumped me yesterday. i truly loved her and marriage did start to appear in my mind.
00:54:07
Speaker
You're not alone. OP. p I feel your pain, but I hope you are doing much better and getting over your ex-girlfriend. How did this... You're so happy you found this thread.
00:54:18
Speaker
Like, there's nothing here. and
00:54:23
Speaker
it's... It's solidarity, man. It's... ah I...
00:54:29
Speaker
marriage I feel like based on that comment, it's easy to assume that marriage entered his brain space after she broke up with him. like What did he say? He said, like oh, I was just starting to... Read his comment again. i want to hear that.
00:54:43
Speaker
um let me see Let me get back to it. ah I truly loved her, and marriage did start to appear in my mind. yeah i assume that means before. Maybe yeah after the fact is when you're like, that's when you catastrophize, right? You're like,
00:55:00
Speaker
who I don't know how old this person is, but probably of that age where you're thinking like it would be plausible. Like, cause that's what's on evangelical minds anyway, is like getting married.
00:55:12
Speaker
So you start dating and you're like, i mean, it doesn't always take long for, for marriage to enter the picture for people. Not in that community. No, no, not at all. But then there's, there's a, it's exacerbated when a breakup happens. And I, I thought something i heard earlier,
00:55:28
Speaker
consistently throughout my time at Liberty was that whenever there was a breakup, the person who was broken up would would say things like, we were I thought we were going to get married. And it's like, you can say that after the fact now that you're not, but beforehand, yeah you can't you're not you're not saying those things beforehand because the the possibility of that not being on the table is kind of scary too for people when that's the end goal.
00:55:55
Speaker
So you're... you're not, it's not entering the conversation the way it does after the breakup, because then you can be that person. You can be the evangelical person who was like, who had marriage on the mind and that was what you were doing this for.
00:56:11
Speaker
And that was taken away from you. And that's like a, that's, that's a pillar of, that's a ah value pillar in that community. So like, don't know, it just, to me, it,
00:56:22
Speaker
It's like a preemptive divorce. Yeah. A preemptive strike. It's like what we did in Iran recently. Yeah. You should make her pay you a preemptive alimony.
00:56:39
Speaker
ah There's a, it's funny too. There's a lot of them on here that are like, it's like people who clearly this isn't working. Yeah. and the their partner is kind of pulling away or it's gone it's gone sour, it's gone quiet.
00:56:55
Speaker
They're not really responding to texts and stuff anymore. And it's like, like i really want to take this seriously and I i want her to know that i'm I'm serious about her and that I really you know i care about her and all this and stuff.
00:57:07
Speaker
How do I do this? She won't respond to my texts anymore. i haven't heard from her in three weeks. you know And it's it's funny how many times in the comments it's like, you need to reassure her that you're not here just for a good time, that you have marriage in mind.
00:57:22
Speaker
It's like, yeah, don't do that. That's not what you need to do in this situation, buddy. That's what convolutes those spaces so much too, because like dating should just be like, like that shouldn't be like the, the fact that dating is on the mind from the moment you, mean the fact that marriage is on the mind from the moment you start dating is like the best way to torch that relationship from the get go.
00:57:46
Speaker
Right? but Yeah, it's so it's such job with some robbed people of dating and getting to know themselves and what they want from people and what they need from somebody. And then finding the person who can provide that over time.
00:58:02
Speaker
And it's like, that's why I'll do it. I mean, how many, we've talked a million times about how, like, we're just, we're some of the lucky ones, like, yeah. And the way that things are going for us because it's like, I do an evangelicalism in, in Christian space. I had all these, like all these justifications for it. Like it was kind of a badge of honor. i was able to like,
00:58:25
Speaker
ah it aided to whatever Christian superiority that you come away with when things are successful and good for you. And was like, Oh, I guess because I gave my religion, like it really, like you diminish the experience of other people because yours worked out when it didn't have to like, and it's it's not because you were better. It was like you, you were lucky to find somebody that you were compatible with that you're able to grow with.
00:58:53
Speaker
and grow together with and how many relationships have we seen fall apart because one person went stayed like strong in in the in evangelical christianity one person left it and it's like it causes all these complicate like we're just yeah to some degree it's a level of like doing your best to maintain a healthy relationship.
00:59:16
Speaker
But I don't go out of my way to be a better person a lot. i'm not a I'm not that awesome. ah Most people are. don't know if anybody does. No, you just.
00:59:26
Speaker
And I think if you say stuff like I'm really taking time to work on myself, I think you're a worse person. And i can I can immediately think of at least three people who have told me that prior to their divorce.
00:59:43
Speaker
I'm taking time to work on myself and ah visit Asian massage parlors. like We know what you're up to. I'll work on myself. I'm having someone else do a little work on me as well. It's really helpful. Relieving tension.
Massage Experiences and Physical Discomfort
01:00:00
Speaker
Dude, when we, my wife and I, when we, um for our anniversary, went we were we went to Boston for a night and we got, we did like a couple's massage thing.
01:00:13
Speaker
And my, like, I've, my shoulders, neck, upper back are just kind of fucked. Like, I move weird and i'm I lock up for a couple days. It's a constant struggle. It's been a very frustrating thing for ah probably 10 years.
01:00:29
Speaker
um you And going, I'm always like what I i need, like, a i like because if like if my wife will try to massage my shoulders, it's like no one's doing anything. Like, um my thought is like, I just need someone to fucking destroy my muscles to feel relief.
01:00:47
Speaker
So we go to this place and they ask you if you want to, and it always feels weird getting questions like this because it's like soft, medium, or hard. And I was just like,
01:01:01
Speaker
Dude, the ladies who worked here are just small Asian women. And I've had massages before from...
01:01:14
Speaker
from but The two I've had were from women and i would the whole time I was like, this this isn't, I feel like I'm not even getting a massage. Like I feel like I'm not, like it's not hard enough. I'm not getting anything out of this. I feel like I just wasted my money. So I go,
01:01:32
Speaker
I say hard. They fucked me up, dude. That sounds awful. I would never that. I was too much of a pussy to be like, medium, medium, medium.
01:01:43
Speaker
and So I just fucking grin and bared it the whole time. And I, dude. She's just got like a rototiller and she's doing laps on your back. I didn't even, they had strong accents, right? So I didn't, sometimes i would just say yes to things that I didn't know what they were asking me.
01:02:03
Speaker
And one of the things I said yes to was the walking on my back. i Dude, but the toe strength on this lady. She was probably in her 50s, maybe even older because we know Asian women often look younger.
01:02:20
Speaker
and It's like this. what I was annihilated, dude. i help you see you know I could feel her toes just like hitting like shoulder blade through my bones. I was it was ah dude.
01:02:34
Speaker
The next day marsupial feet. The next day, my entire body felt bruised. like There were no bruises on my body, but all my muscles felt... I just felt like I had gotten the shit kicked out of me. The Kurtos are all thumbs.
01:02:47
Speaker
It was crazy. I don't know. i I think what maybe whatever made me think of that is you talking about Asian massage parlors. Sorry for the rabbit trail, but that was...
01:02:59
Speaker
the I don't know if it was even a good experience. I don't know if it was. like I don't know if it made me feel better or not. It kind of did. like i kind of It was kind of cool that it was like it hurt that bad. sometimes You know that feeling when your muscles are so tight. You're like, can someone just fucking beat the shit out of these things? I...
01:03:20
Speaker
I can't move them. They're so tense. ah So I got my wish, and it was more than I thought. And yeah, the next day, i just – I could not believe how sore my muscles were.
01:03:33
Speaker
Anyway. She like heel-toe your little Howard Johnson.
01:03:38
Speaker
Double base it. Dude, boy, they – She's playing 94
01:03:47
Speaker
i don't – it's crazy because I don't know – I'm done with these like these wimpy massage therapy places I've gone before. this is I'm locked into this. I'll say median next time, but dude, they start like...
01:04:00
Speaker
I mean, they start. want You want to see the Inquisitor. They like they look they like what when you're on your back and they're like doing like your thighs and stuff. It's like yeah they just decide like, oh, we should stretch his legs. And they're just like lifting your leg up, bending it in all these weird ways and just like putting their full body weight on it And you're like, I'm actually going to die like they're putting you in a fucking pretzel.
01:04:25
Speaker
It's like if they if someone threw me in the ring with one of these women, I would have been fucking rock and I'm twice their size.
01:04:35
Speaker
Oh, Yeah. And they're like, just relax. I can't relax. I can't relax. I know I'm supposed to relax, but if I don't tense my muscle, you'll break my back.
Christian Dating Complexities and Judgment
01:04:45
Speaker
and' I've never in my life had the thought of like, oh, I want to get it. I think I should try getting a massage.
01:04:52
Speaker
No, it's no, it's just like, but see, I don't have like sore back and stuff like that. oh I just don't have that sort of thing. So I never have needed it, I guess, but it's crazy. Cause I don't do anything and I have no right to feel this way. And I think that is what pisses me off. It's like, who am I? It's not like I'm a day laborer.
01:05:10
Speaker
Like who am I to need a massage? It's pathetic. I'm a loser. Yeah. Laying face down and getting your pecker stomped from behind is crazy.
01:05:22
Speaker
It's like the alligator game at the old arcade. I'm not soliciting advice on a a Christian dating subreddit.
01:05:36
Speaker
and So, okay, yeah. so this one, i wanted to get to this because this is a tough subject and one that's, this is fraught, I feel like. But it's constant on here. This is a constant theme.
01:05:49
Speaker
So it says, ah how do I, 24 female, come to terms with my boyfriend, 24 male sexual past? um And like I said, this I think this issue plays into exactly what I kind of said at the beginning is that you you're dealing with all the like normal emotions that you would have when you're like in a relationship and you're getting serious with someone.
01:06:14
Speaker
But right ah like Christianity and purity stuff like adds this extra weight to everything that makes it more unbearable and also gives you like more of a, you know, like a moral superiority complex. But so It's crazy that you're bringing this up. wow So we took a quick pause and I took out my phone and opened Facebook like a boomer when you were exiting the room for a moment. and Your wife texted you that she's leaving.
01:06:44
Speaker
Yeah. And the first thing I saw was um there's a subreddit called A-I-T-A-H for Am I the Asshole? a big fan Big fan of that subreddit. but The answer is yes.
01:06:58
Speaker
Yeah, it usually is. um I lost the the image that I had pulled up because it just refreshed when opened my phone. It's the same kind of thing. It was like, Am I the Asshole for... like having a hard time coming to terms with my wife's body count or whatever.
01:07:15
Speaker
And the whole thing is we grew up very religious. We thought we were, but I thought we were both virgins when we got married. Turns out she's fucked a bunch of dudes. And he said, I called her some names in parentheses. He's like some bet.
01:07:29
Speaker
I call her some names. And I'm guessing that it's like slot and whore and shit like that because she's He didn't say it. He's just like, i called her some unsavory names. Like, I don't know what else you're going to call somebody when you find that information out and you're trying to hurt somebody.
01:07:45
Speaker
But anyway, um I mean, short story is this guy's the asshole, ah sort of. It's a weird thing. Unfortunately, this world that we came from ah programs people to lie about shit like that, right?
01:08:00
Speaker
um Yeah, sometimes reasonably so, I guess. Yeah. i did see those situations as well. So you're like, oh, I thought we were virgins. I find out a few years later, but my wife like fucked like 15 people before we got married. And you're like, it's a doozy, but also like it's, it's, I don't know.
01:08:20
Speaker
It's not. Let's jump into one. Yeah. I've always valued sex as something you do with someone you love and marry. My BF revealed early into our relationship that he was sexually active in his last relationship and even had a pregnancy scare at one point.
01:08:35
Speaker
I've been struggling to get over this. as not even intimacy will be something kept just between the two of us. He says he regrets being sexually active in the past, but his regret doesn't take away the anxiety I have.
01:08:49
Speaker
I worry nothing will ever be just for the two of us or that he'll eventually compare sex with me to how it was with her. Does anyone have any experience with having to wait, having waited for the right partner, but their partner didn't wait for them?
01:09:02
Speaker
How did you overcome this hurdle? And it's like, okay, these are these are normal feelings to have. Like finding out that your partner was with somebody, I think it's just like it's just natural to be like, oh, that makes me anxious, you know? i think it's only I think it's mostly only that way when one person enters a relationship without a sexual past.
01:09:28
Speaker
I don't know, man. I've had a lot of friends that yeah it was a problem in their relationship, even though both partners had had prior histories and stuff. Even you know even if it wasn't necessarily like a Christian thing, think it's just like it's it's normal to feel anxious when you realize that like your state of ultimate vulnerability, like they've seen people in that state before or whatever. It sounds like all your friends got tiny dicks.
01:09:56
Speaker
That's what Yeah, maybe so. Davis, that's you.
01:10:01
Speaker
for I don't know. i i can't I guess I can get that, but I do. I feel like as has gone by. It depends on the person. And I know people who have had, i don't know, because it's one of those things where like if, i don't know, I would think that if you shared that same experience, you'd be like, yeah, I've had sex with other people, but and like I'm here.
01:10:21
Speaker
and Now? But now, but see, yeah, as a 30 some year old man, sure. Yes. But as a 22, 24 year old, like I just don't know that you're you're there yet a lot of people, you know, even if you play. think it's mostly that culture though.
01:10:37
Speaker
I do. I think it's mostly, because I think most people, ah almost everybody goes through life having previous sexual experiences before they get think that that's point though. I think that that's like besides the point.
01:10:50
Speaker
It's just, and it's not necessarily, it's not always like a purity centric thing. It's just a, oh no. Self-conscious. like Yeah, it's self-consciousness. Which I can get i can get that. you're like and ah Not to be... like i this sounds trivial and it's definitely like a ah trope, like a comedic trope of like guys being overly obsessed with like how endowed they are. and that is that I know that is a thing where they're like, oh, she likes she probably liked those other penises more than mine. And it's it's not...
01:11:28
Speaker
enough life experience in conversations and understanding has taught me that like, if that is relevant, like it's probably outside the norm, you know, um, if it's particularly relevant, i don't know, whatever we're up getting the weeds and stuff that I can't really ah speak to. So specifically outside of my own experience with people I know, but, um,
01:11:53
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. Maybe the self-conscious thing. I was a self-conscious person. um with I had low self-esteem, so I could see myself. like i remember there being a time, and this is ah where i like where i like my wife and I had like a breakup time or before we were married. Yeah.
01:12:17
Speaker
i know We were 17 when we started dating. We had a little breakup time. ah There was a time where I was like, what if she had slept with somebody else while we were broken up? I don't know if I could even marry her if I knew that. like And it really like bothered me.
01:12:31
Speaker
And then i as ah as my age now, ah i recognize that, yes, it was it was a little bit of low self-esteem, but it was mostly the internalized relationship.
01:12:42
Speaker
understand like it was the way I internalized purity culture messaging is like the quote unquote sloppy seconds you know that people will like yeah I don't want to be that and that's ah obviously a obviously very disparaging term but like it is like that those are the thoughts that go through your mind and that's like the rhetoric that is used at that time and it yeah I don't know but then that was as someone who had like no experience at all um So I don't know.
01:13:14
Speaker
It's probably a both and yeah kind of situation, I guess. I definitely. I'd be curious to know what other people's thoughts are on this. um and I remember when we started dating like about, you know, eight months in.
01:13:29
Speaker
So pretty much engaged, you know. but um remember. mean, you'd been considering marriage for six months. so Oh, for sure. I had thought about it. Absolutely.
01:13:40
Speaker
Second date. and ah But I remember like i that was like the first i had never really felt like like that just ugly, hateful jealousy before.
01:13:54
Speaker
Yeah, like she able to like gone on a like a like gotten coffee with a couple of people, you know, before we started dating and stuff. And dude, I just was just seething with like rage and hatred for these. And it it was nothing.
01:14:12
Speaker
It was nothing. It was perfectly within bounds, like nothing. But I just hated them. Oh, no. i I didn't know how to deal with it. And I think I, it was a weird, like freaked me out sort of thing where I i had to really think about like how, and and like that, I don't think that was purity culture. I think that was just self-consciousness on my, but it was a me thing, you know? And I feel like it could have there's an element of that with some of these posts, but then there is like, there's elements that like this, I worry nothing will ever be just for the two of us. Like that is absolute like Christian messaging for sure. Yeah.
01:14:48
Speaker
and pipe oh yeah you know yeah we heard that constantly and we're using that to validate the self-conscious feelings that that you're having yes about about this person it it creates less exits from the potential spiral you go down let's put maybe that's a better way to put it it's more justification than that you're right to think this way and to be angry at your partner who who didn't even know you at the time you know Yeah, I think maybe a better way to look at it is is that, is that you, it's normal to go down that road in evangelical culture provides you way less off ramps.
01:15:27
Speaker
So what you find in these is that the people that have the most off-putting opinions are usually the most... They they comment the most. Like, they're on a crusade.
01:15:39
Speaker
Like, this is this is a person that's obviously very angry about something in their own life, and they're like... They're venting it out to help you fix your problem, you know? They have that top commenter badge on lock.
01:15:51
Speaker
So Turbo Tater says... You should probably find someone similar to yourself if that's something you value. The chances of you forgetting about his past and the chances of him not eventually getting defensive about it aren't great.
01:16:05
Speaker
His regret means he made bad decisions, and past bad decisions are usually an indicator of bad decisions in the future. oh Oh, wow. Oh boy. Like, i wonder what you've done. I wonder what your criminal record. it's Yeah. It's so, it's so much projection, dude.
01:16:23
Speaker
Yeah. Like nobody could go through your past life with a fine tooth comb and find things to be justifiably angry about. If you've done one wrong thing, that's an indicator that you're going to just do that all the time forever.
01:16:36
Speaker
So somebody comments, we are, we are a new creation in Christ. Yeah. Hey, that's, yeah, that's the that's the answer, right? And he says, TurboTater says, yes, he forgives us, but we're still human and have to do our best to make wise choices.
01:16:52
Speaker
You also can't know a person's mind and intentions, so you have to use your best judgment based on what you know and can see with your own eyes. This guy's definitely defended a pedophile youth pastor before, though. He definitely has.
01:17:05
Speaker
Yeah. The guy comments again. He says, and whether we are a new creation depends on the sincerity and commitment in coming to Christ, though it's not only our understanding. We should seek but God's discernment.
01:17:17
Speaker
This guy's turbo tater says, dude, the people who talk like that are the ones that think they've had that imputed upon them, imparted upon them. Oh, absolutely. says, gotta respectfully disagree there, though I know it's a matter of interpretation.
01:17:30
Speaker
I believe success. Everything. That's the whole fucking book. Dumb shit. I believe success in our worldly lives is not guaranteed by simply trusting God. He still expects us to use our best judgment and not become complacent just because we trust him, which is obviously related to the fact that like you think she should dump her boyfriend over like a jealous fit.
01:17:53
Speaker
Yeah. I just should be such an annoying guy.
01:17:59
Speaker
ah I'm feeling triggered, dude. It's like, it's just, I'm being, ah I'm being washed over with ah all that. old Like, it's just that level of confidence in stating other people's intentions,
01:18:16
Speaker
or how the forgiveness of God works based on their sincerity. Like all that stuff is like, who are you to show up with this, such a high degree of confidence?
01:18:26
Speaker
It that's, and it's so annoying. This guy hosts a men's Bible study with certainty. Definitely. He has a lot of, a lot of knowledge to impart. He regularly speaks at the bi-monthly men's breakfast.
01:18:40
Speaker
Another person says sounds hated, ah God sounds hated, but maybe you can't. I had the same situation and I realized that for me, I'm not sure if I can come to terms with it.
01:18:54
Speaker
If think, if think there is not like quote a way on how to do it. Iger you can, or you can not. And both is okay. There is no hack, I guess.
01:19:07
Speaker
So that's great advice from, uh, from equivalent. had eighty three Thank you for that. That's real helpful.
Religious Beliefs, Relationship Struggles, and Online Advice
01:19:16
Speaker
a dude what a weird place on earth on the uh not the earth it's the interweb it's cyberspace whatever like and that that person was so excited to have an opportunity to share nothing just yeah like just jumping in there ah It's like just got done drinking a whole bottle of Robituss. I'm just like, yeah it could be that, but maybe it's not. It might be hard to get out. Maybe you can, maybe you can't hope this helped.
01:19:56
Speaker
Yeah. I, I do really like the, uh, So there's a lot of, there's a lot of like boyfriend posts where it's like that them just like, like constantly explaining how patient they've been with her, how much they've tried to like, you know, help her find God or lead her to the Holy spirit or blah, blah, blah. But she's just not taking this relationship seriously and this and that and the other. And like,
01:20:27
Speaker
how do I make her understand that I'm right? Basically, it's just like, oh, dude, this is how do I make her understand that when I'm playing video games, I don't want her talking to me. But when I'm done playing video games, I want to have sex.
01:20:41
Speaker
And I don't, she just doesn't get it.
01:20:45
Speaker
Yeah. ah i Yeah, dude, I don't know. There's just so many of these. It's like hard to really piece through them, but it's endless. ah My boyfriend and I have been living together for about three months now.
01:20:58
Speaker
He used to be fire for Christ, but backslid. bet immediately one of these comments is going to be that you can't be on fire for Christ and live together, or that that's the reason for him being backslidden. Oh, ah guaranteed. i would bet all the money on that.
01:21:14
Speaker
He's coming back to Christ again, but in but in the between him backsliding, we had a lot of sex. We are not married. Yeah. him backsliding like she has no part well he backslids we had a ton of sex because it's up to him and maybe maybe your church would tell you that but he told me recently he isn't feeling lustful for me anymore and he wants to stop but a part of me is sad and feels like he's not into me anymore because of it broken heart emoji so
01:21:46
Speaker
I know it's an amazing thing, and it's good we shouldn't be having sex anymore. And it was me who brought up stopping in the past first. But it was so sudden, and I feel like there's more meaning to it, dot, dot, dot.
01:21:58
Speaker
I just don't know if anyone else has struggled with this before, but it's making me overthink and have fear for our relationship. I've tried praying about this stuff, but I can't seem to get a solid answer.
01:22:09
Speaker
all right. One of my ideas on another comment might be that He's found an outlet. He's cheating on her and he's having sex with somebody else. So that way he can cover, he can have his outlet, get his nut, and then also be able to be the standup Christian guy that doesn't want to have sex his girlfriend.
01:22:30
Speaker
There's gotta be a whole lot of that. it is, it is a lot of like very definitive moral advice about her black and white situation. Of course. i this This whole thing, like, this is all just concocted anxiety. Like, there's just nothing real. Like, this is all brought on by, like, your phony convictions.
01:22:52
Speaker
Yes. You know, you felt a little guilty, so you threw a wrench in the works together. i mean, you both did. And and now, like, dealing with the uncomfortable aftermath of that, you're like, I don't know.
01:23:05
Speaker
And with all the messaging that we got of not lusting, right? and Now he's, he's just saying those words. No, I've been really focusing on Christ and I don't lust after you anymore.
01:23:17
Speaker
So instead I jack off to tons of porn. So somebody comments, have sex if my refractory period is two hours, if I jack off to porn every hour, I'll never be able to have sex with you.
01:23:32
Speaker
So, Pie Ambitious says, i have recently felt the same way and been through the same. Having sex before marriage is outside of the will of God. It's a good thing that your boyfriend feels this way about it because it's hard to stop.
01:23:45
Speaker
You guys shouldn't even be living together. That comes after marriage. I encourage you guys to go to counseling and marry. You encourage them to marry?
01:23:56
Speaker
if If these two aren't under 24, I would be shocked. these are These are young people. Yeah, yeah. ah If y'all don't see marriage, y'all shouldn't be together.
01:24:09
Speaker
Do not unequally yoked. Do not be unequally yoked. The feeling of not feeling love because of sex, it's because we have a false view on love.
01:24:19
Speaker
Sex does not equal love. Jesus does. So get to know Jesus. So have sex with Jesus. but See what... See what it says biblically about marriage and what you should and how you should treat each other.
01:24:31
Speaker
That is still your brother in Christ until you are both married. Oh God, dude, that's disgusting.
01:24:40
Speaker
ah Heal with Jesus the insecurities that are coming out because you are not recognized because you are not recognizing you have a false sense of what love is. It's okay to feel everything you're feeling.
01:24:50
Speaker
Just bring it to the Lord and make sure y'all are not stumbling blocks for one another. It's okay to feel what you're feeling. Just recognize that you're feeling it for your brother. Just feel different.
01:25:01
Speaker
It's okay to feel what you're feeling as long as you know that you're an idiot.
01:25:07
Speaker
Oh my God, that one was rough, dude. Y'all should have Bible studies, praying together, watching sermons together, and talking about it. Finding a young adult group to be together and community.
01:25:19
Speaker
Can't stress it enough. Set boundaries. If you are not pursuing a relationship with the Lord, what's it all for? Make sure y'all both have a relationship with Jesus before you guys have one with together.
01:25:31
Speaker
What about, what about, uh, I happen to have a really successful business model in helping couples prevent themselves from having sex illicitly. We set up a ring camera in your bedroom. The feed goes directly to my phone.
01:25:43
Speaker
Yeah. It works for you because ah you have accountability. It works for me because I don't have to drive to Hobby Lobby.
01:26:00
Speaker
That's a win, win, win.
01:26:14
Speaker
Oh my God. I don't know if I could find the post again, but I saw one earlier where a guy was like, cause there's also a bunch of them that are like mostly guys, but some girls too are like, I really want to find a Christian partner, but I don't know where to look. I'm having no luck.
01:26:29
Speaker
Any advice, you know? And, uh, there was one that I saw where it was like, you need to hire a dating coach. I'm a dating coach. Yeah.
01:26:41
Speaker
did It was like such a perfect like scam post of like, hire me to tell you some really bland platitudes about, you know, seeking Christ while dating.
01:26:53
Speaker
Find me on Roblox and join my Discord server.
01:26:59
Speaker
I don't want the government listening in, so I do all my communication on Roblox.
01:27:10
Speaker
but Okay, so let's see um Praying for you both. So you need physical intimacy to prove love. The biggest problem with relationships today, people learn to love.
01:27:24
Speaker
I think he's saying that that's a bad model that they're following. Oh, he's saying that that's what they need, but you need physical intimacy to yeah prove love. The biggest problem with relationships today, people learn love by watching TV and do so in teen years that destroys the truth in a relationship.
01:27:41
Speaker
If you want intimacy, that is from God, without being married, of course. Then you need to read his word together, pray together, walk in the Lord together, all caps.
01:27:53
Speaker
There is no worldly way. that only lead That just leads to some weird kink where he can only get hard if they're reading scripture together. It's in there somewhere. There is no worldly way to satisfy those deep longings, not one.
01:28:08
Speaker
if you make jesus enough then If you make Jesus enough, then these little things will not hinder you. Get right with Christ first. Are you saved? Have you accepted that Jesus is your personal Lord and Savior?
01:28:20
Speaker
When you have these concerns and thoughts, capture them and hand them in prayer, seeking escape, seeking God's will, protection and guidance. Ask him if there is anything not of him that is to be rebuked and removed from your life.
01:28:33
Speaker
It's like ah the guy who's like, it helps to hold up your fingers and do the cutting the cord motion. This guy's over here like capture your thoughts. It helps if you have little butterfly nets on your bed stands. Yeah, do a little jelly fishing sponge. Catch your lustful spots.
01:28:50
Speaker
And then give them to God.
01:28:55
Speaker
ah Oh, here's here's a good one we haven't seen yet.
Exploration of Spiritual Warfare
01:28:59
Speaker
Remember, we fight against principalities, not flesh and blood. Spiritual warfare is real.
01:29:05
Speaker
In fact, 99% of the things in our life are affected by spiritual warfare. Where do you get that statistic? I'm sure it's well-researched.
01:29:17
Speaker
Did Pew put out a poll on that? Yeah.
01:29:22
Speaker
That was a One America Facebook survey.
01:29:28
Speaker
Turns out 99%. It's just one of those graphs that Trump holds up that nobody knows where it came from. He's like, look at, these are numbers. I like these numbers. What do you suppose the 1% of things in our life that aren't affected by spiritual warfare are?
01:29:44
Speaker
That's a great question. Is it like basic motor functions? Or does Satan have a hand in those two? might just be boiling water. I feel like Satan's behind it when I like and like pull a toothbrush too far back and then jab myself in the gums.
01:30:02
Speaker
Oh, that's the worst. It does suck. ah Spiritual warfare, man. That's demonic for sure. the principality.
01:30:12
Speaker
um Get familiar with it. In fact, this is a few minute video about spiritual warfare that I have sent to others with great response. Just look up spiritual warfare.
01:30:24
Speaker
Strange things can happen when you are under attack. I'm sure that is sane and grounded and realistic. We should probably watch that and see if it's worth talking about on our next episode.
01:30:35
Speaker
Yeah, everybody, that's that's the homework assignment for this week. Look up Spiritual Warfare. Strange things can happen when you are under attack. And let's all report back next week.
01:30:47
Speaker
It's going to like have the recording quality of an old Tim and Eric sketch. that's gonna that's what yeah That VHS, got that you don't have the tracking right look. It's like satanic panic videos of them playing Def Leppard backwards or whatever.
01:31:05
Speaker
It will certainly open your eyes to what is going on in the unseen realm and how it affects us walking in Jesus. So yeah, I mean, that covers the gambit on her relationship problems. it's it's Yeah, I mean, I think she walked away knowing exactly what to do.
01:31:21
Speaker
Yeah, just you know give it to God and don't let the demons corrupt your walk or whatever. It is funny to be like like, hey, we are having some really basic early um ah early relationship emotional struggles.
Challenges in Seeking Christian Dating Advice
01:31:41
Speaker
Anybody got any advice and they're like, maybe you're not really saved. Did you think about that? ah Maybe it's demons. If things aren't going right from you, obviously there's a problem in your life with your relationship with God.
01:31:57
Speaker
Maybe you hated God and taunted him in some way. Maybe you meant to say gosh and you did say God by accident. And now this is your punishment. In which case I have no advice for you. Grin and bear it. You deserve this.
01:32:10
Speaker
For blaspheming the Holy Spirit. The one unforgivable sin. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. Christian dating advice. We might have to return to the well once in a while on this one. Cause who boy, that's a lot of poison.
01:32:26
Speaker
Yeah, I would love that. It's really, i think it's nice to revisit the world from whence we came. um a lot of that's extreme, even for, if I'm thinking back to my early 20s, I think some of that's even extreme for that, that time in my life. I probably would have heard some of that and been like, that's that's horse shit.
01:32:48
Speaker
Now, I did have those simple approaches to things like, I think the problem is that I'm not praying and reading my Bible. And I wouldn't normally use words like enough.
01:32:59
Speaker
I either was doing it or I wasn't. I don't know if I thought it was like a magic thing where it's like if you do it four days a week, you'll be okay. But if you just did it that fifth or sixth day or seventh day a week, you'd you'd be doing great.
01:33:14
Speaker
I don't even think I looked at it like that. I think I had approached it from a sincerity issue. Like, am I doing this at all? Like, like if I was just doing it like for pageantry, like if I was just going through the motions to check the box, I was the kind of guy that just wouldn't do it. Like I didn't do things like that because I thought I should, even when I didn't feel like it, I would get into these moments where I truly believed I should and wanted to.
01:33:41
Speaker
Um, but I always found a way to attribute and some of it was mental health issues too. I didn't really like, I have never been diagnosed with depression, but I do know that when you occasionally have those moments for long periods of time, when you're driving to work and you look longingly at the side of the road and wonder, it'd be great if it looked like an accident. So no one had to deal with the fact that I fucking killed myself. Like if if you've had those thoughts, you go, I probably have depression.
01:34:08
Speaker
Yeah. um But his christian his Christian therapist diagnosed him with a case of the Mopies. Yeah. and It's been years and years and years since I felt that way. I remember bringing that up to my wife when I was feeling that way well over eight years ago.
01:34:23
Speaker
um And it was like – it was – and it didn't go great and that was really scary and I realized that you have to be careful with how you communicate things. But like there are these like thoughts that you – like whatever.
01:34:36
Speaker
a big component of depression is thinking about things like that without X there's a big, strong delineation between like actual suicidality and just like thoughts of dying or something like that. And like, um but yeah, like I, I remember it was, that was the moment in my life where I felt the strongest or I'm like, this is because I'm not praying and reading my Bible enough.
01:34:58
Speaker
And then I remember real at some point I got to this point where I'm like, i know that that's not the problem. That doesn't make sense. I don't know. Other people aren't saying or they're feeling that way.
01:35:08
Speaker
um So, yeah, there's I think I don't i like I said, haven't been diagnosed. My 37 years of experience tell me that it's in a it's it comes and goes.
01:35:21
Speaker
And it it's crazy and frustrating to think that like that. Because you end up hurting yourself with like this idea, oh, if I pray, but you don't because you you literally can't. You really can't. You don't i you don't feel like you can't.
01:35:39
Speaker
But if I ever, the problem was when I got to a point where I could, it's because I was on the up and up. Right. I got to a point where I was feeling okay enough to do those things.
01:35:51
Speaker
So I did it. And then I attributed my feeling better to getting out of my own way in doing those things. And it was just simply not the case. So that that's for, I'm not prescribing anything. I'm talking about my personal experience and that like,
01:36:04
Speaker
Because I do think there's a ah strong case to be made for meditating, improving your mental health, and that ah forms of that could look like prayer or reading your Bible, whatever. Like you can do that in a way that is healthy and works.
01:36:17
Speaker
But for me, i could only do those things when I was healthy. And when I did them, I attributed that to being the remedy. but bad It's dumb shit. It's bad and it sucks. and ah Anyway, I don't know. I went down that little rabbit hole too. Sometimes I go down these rabbit holes and forget where I started.
01:36:37
Speaker
I suggest that you visit Dr. Entenmann and eat your feelings in waxy donuts.
Criticism of Media Figures and Public Personas
01:36:43
Speaker
I was thinking about joining Dr. Phil alongside him on the panel of Bill Maher and we could talk about why he went on ICE raids even though he thinks it's a bad law.
01:36:53
Speaker
Dr. Phil, what do you do what are you doing, man? Don't send him back to Mexico. Send him to the ranch.
01:37:01
Speaker
there that was i did and That was a clip I watched of Bill Maher having Dr. Phil on. Bill Maher is one of the worst people to do television. um I hate him with a burning passion, but he did make he did make Dr. Phil look like a bigger idiot, look like as big an idiot as he is.
01:37:22
Speaker
And that made me have a slight tinge of forgiveness in my heart for Bill Maher. It was momentary. it was fleeting. It was a feeling. it is gone now. He's said enough dumb things since then where he can go fuck himself. But the enemy of my enemy, maybe? i don't know.
01:37:41
Speaker
He's got that snarky old man liberalism where like... You know, he'll say like the the quote unquote right things about a bunch of different topics, but then also make like really uncomfortable sexual comments about like a young guest that he has on.
01:37:55
Speaker
You're like, yeah, I'm doing. Yeah, ah there's a clip of him. He had talked to a girl on his podcast. No way, dude.
01:38:07
Speaker
And he's a hack. He sucks. Oh, he said just the most bizarre things to her. What's keeping him alive? Like, i but people are still watching real time.
01:38:18
Speaker
That's wild to me. Yeah. Yeah, he's running on angst. ah Yeah, just go away. i mean, you've done it. You have all the money you could possibly want. Just go away.
01:38:30
Speaker
He doesn't want money. He likes to a smug dickhead. Yes, he's just a smug fuck. He thinks he's so central to the discussion being had in the country about blah blah right and left and stuff like like he thinks he's a pivotal part of that and like he despises anyone that is is more important than him but like yeah yeah he he sucks so bad dude yeah and boy anyway forget bill mark forget dr phil forget this episode even i don't know but remember pam bondy remember her
01:39:08
Speaker
Lovely lady that tried to save this country. She worked really hard. She did. she told She said she did. Yeah. Also, some people do, and then you – it's like – and that's when you realize working really hard isn't necessarily a value.
01:39:24
Speaker
plan You work really hard at really stupid things, then it doesn't yeah matter. i would I would prefer that you slacked off in your dumb duties. Yeah.
01:39:34
Speaker
I'd prefer you be like the rest of corporate America and work a total of three and a half hours in an eight hour day. Yeah. Phone it in, dummy.
01:39:43
Speaker
All right. Well, ah thanks everybody for listening and we will talk to you next time.