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Where Are All The Bi Athletes? with Ryan K. Russell
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Two Bi Guys is created and hosted by Alex Boyd and Rob Cohen
Logo art by Kaitlin Weinman
Music by Ross Mintzer
Season 2 is executive produced by Rob Cohen and produced by Alex Boyd and Moxie Peng, with support from IFP
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Transcript
Introduction and Ryan's Background
00:00:00
Speaker
🎵
00:00:12
Speaker
Hello, and welcome to Two Bye Guys. I'm Rob. And I'm Alex. And we're here today with Ryan Russell. He is an NFL player, poet, a public speaker, an artist, very interesting combination, and a bisexual man. He was drafted by the Dallas Cowboys in 2015. He played two seasons with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 2016 and 2017, and he's currently a free agent.
00:00:37
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In April of 2019, he released his debut book of poetry titled Prison or Passion. And in August 2019, he came out publicly as bisexual in a letter published by ESPN. That's really fascinating. And we're really excited to have you here. Welcome, Ryan, aka Russ. Thank you. I appreciate it. Thanks for having me.
00:00:59
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So we've never had an athlete on the show, let alone a professional athlete who's played in the NFL. So I think that's really interesting, your bisexual journey tied into that world.
Journey of Self-Discovery
00:01:11
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So before we get to the NFL stuff, why don't you just start by giving us a little background and history of your bi journey, how you
00:01:21
Speaker
discovered this about yourself, what it was like growing up with this and what your bisexuality means to you. For sure. I think everyone has such unique journeys. You know, we all come from different families, different places. We have different beliefs, different systems. I feel also just very fortunate. I know a lot of people, my boyfriend, even a lot of my friends knew like very young.
00:01:45
Speaker
about their sexuality, whether they be gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, whatever it is. And I just think of my life as like a young kid in Dallas, Texas, just raised by a single mom and how stressful and crazy and confusing that was. And then if I were to even add sexuality into that, I don't know how I would have survived. I don't know how people do it.
00:02:06
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So for me, my sexuality and being bisexual didn't come up until later in life, all through middle school, high school. Even a lot of my college years, I had girlfriends, and it wasn't an issue. I was very invested, they were very romantic and loving, and I could definitely see myself with a woman long term.
00:02:26
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But then when I got into college, I think just how college is and just that mixture of like being alone and having to create your own schedule and just kind of figuring out who you are outside of just like going to classes, but actually figuring out what careers you want, what passions you like, what people you kind of gravitate towards.
00:02:44
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That is when my sexuality kind of came to the forefront and I found a same-sex attraction or attraction to men. And I, looking back at it, I guess I was kind of more courageous and bold than I thought I was because I was like, okay, well, let's just see. Let's see, like, what's going on. And my first year of college, I red shirted. I was undersized to play my position on defense. I got a full scholarship and everything, but I was just smaller. So I had to take a year to, like, eat.
00:03:14
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and get in the weight room and become the person that you all see today. And so I had a lot of time, I had a lot of free time. I was, I went to Purdue University up in Indiana. So I was a thousand miles from Dallas, Texas. I didn't really know anyone. And the one reason I was there was to play football and that seemed like it wasn't happening at the time. So I just had a lot of free time. I had my first experience in college, I think sophomore year, like full on experience.
00:03:42
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I was, of course, scared and terrified and excited and nervous and shaking like a leaf. But it wasn't bad, obviously. That's good. So I was like, OK. I was like, what? But what does this mean? At that point, I mean, bisexuality.
00:03:58
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the only things I'd really heard about bisexuality were kind of like that it was a transition from straight to gay or that it was for people who were straight who were shamelessly they were gay or that it never really seemed like its own destination. It always seemed like it was either leading somewhere or you were using it to hide something. So that being kind of all I knew, I was like, okay, well then am I
Challenges in the NFL and Identity
00:04:18
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gay? So then I
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you know just being obviously the little inquisitive person I am then I was like okay well let me go back to dating women being women and then I got a relationship and that was once again just a great person and amazing and it was it was I saw a future in that relationship and I was like okay now I just don't get it.
00:04:36
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And in the midst of trying to figure this out, of course, football is happening. I'm playing more. I become a starter. I start the next couple, the next, my next years at Purdue. The NFL becomes a very realistic thing for me. I am like getting on draft boards and then getting invited to the combine and these senior balls and all these things. And I'm like, okay, well, I don't know any out players. I don't see that happening. I definitely don't want to be the first one. I was like, so I'm just going to put this on the shelf. I was like, I can.
00:05:03
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date women and love women like I'm good let me just do that and yeah and that was kind of like my first experience with it even even in college I the year before I got drafted Michael Sam got drafted and I saw that whole his whole experience and I was really just kind of
00:05:21
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very kind of fearful for him because of course he's the first and then I I felt this this sense of just like I don't know I don't know how this is gonna go like getting an NFL is hard enough like now you're on you know your own sports center and you're on Oprah and you're on all these shows and every hour in the hour it's you talking about your story and sharing that with your boyfriend in these moments and I was just like
00:05:44
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I don't know. I just remember kind of the sense of like fear and just thinking like, I'll never do that. Like that will never be me. Super fast forward. Like in some sense, I guess I did do that.
00:05:58
Speaker
Very much, though. Yeah. Well, so what did bring you to that point? Because this was after you finished your third season in the NFL that you came out, yeah? Yeah. So what was that experience, and what kind of led you to that point? I think two very major things happened in my life. One, I suffered my first serious football-related injury. I tore my shoulder Thursday night football against the New England Patriots. Tom Brady, so excited. I was starting. I was living my life.
00:06:27
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Then I went to go deflect the pass that Tom Brady threw. So of course it was perfect and I missed it and I rolled over my shoulder and it dislocated. I tore my labrum. I tore my AC. I dislocated. It was really nasty. Me being the person that I am, I took two weeks to kind of recover. We had a bye week and then we had an away game.
00:06:45
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And then I played the rest of the season in a shoulder harness, which for my body wasn't a great decision, but it was my contract year. So it was like the only the last year I had to like show the team like, hey, I'm a guy that you want to keep around. I thought making that type of sacrifice would do that. Fast forward to January, they decide they're like, you know, you're going to have surgery. Your shoulder is getting worse. It got worse as the season continued. We don't really know what's going on. We don't want to give you a
Finding Happiness and Personal Fulfillment
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full contract, not knowing the health of your shoulder.
00:07:16
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So that sucked and I kind of was in that space back in
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like Richard Freshman that we're talking about, where I had time away from football, where like football was kind of taken out of my life abruptly and I was left with kind of like, what else? Like what else do I have? Also around this year, my best friend was diagnosed with cancer. His name is Joseph Gilliam. We were roommates in college. He's actually the first person I ever confessed any type of bisexuality or any type of my first person I came out to in a sense.
00:07:49
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We're college roommates. I introduced him to his wife. I was the best man at their wedding. He gets stage four cancer the year before and he's battling it all this time. Stage four spinal glioblastoma. I might've said that wrong. So he's declining. I'm away from football. Come September 2018, he passes away.
00:08:15
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And it's taken me a year at this point to recover from my shoulder. I've lost my best friend. The two very major pillars of my life where I put a lot of my happiness and a lot of my own self worth.
00:08:29
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were gone, they vanished. And I was kind of left with like, what else? And I didn't have much else. I had writing, which led to the poetry book. And I realized that a really major block in me loving myself and me loving my life outside of football or what I do or what I can, like all of these other things was me harboring kind of this secret and me not being proud in all of who I was. I moved to LA. I met my boyfriend.
00:08:57
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And I just started kind of living my life. I started writing, I started doing art, I started just going for it. Anything that I thought would make me happy, I just attacked it. And I was, I was happier than I'd ever been in the midst of the darkest circumstances of my life.
00:09:13
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And I got a call to go try out for another team once my shoulder was all good. And in that moment, the trial went really well. I got to talk with a lot of people in the office. They didn't even sign to me because the guy that I was going to replace ended up not being hurt as bad as they thought. But in that moment, you know, I'm in a full blown relationship. I'm living in my dream city. I'm super happy. And I thought I'm going to have to give all this up. I'm going to have to go in back in the closet in a sense. And I'm going to lose everything that I fought so hard for.
00:09:41
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and just lose this happiness. And I didn't wanna do that. I couldn't do that. If coming out for me felt like a moment of survival because I had reached some really dark times and I was like this, me being proud of who I am is what saved me. So at that point it was, I felt as though almost there was no other option. I was like, it's happening. And then it couldn't happen soon enough. So yeah, that's a little bit about what brought me to coming out.
00:10:09
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I mean, I identify so much with your story of like sort of compartmentalizing this and focusing on other things, but then at a certain point, it's like this thing is sort of blocking you. And it sounds like you're really processed so much of that now, like the way you talk about it now. What got you over that hump and got you to do that?
00:10:28
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Oh God. I think it's a lot of... Just like you had to? Yeah, I think it's a lot of little things too that just kind of built up. Like I said, I was in kind of a mode of vulnerability in sharing and writing poetry. I was talking about some really just raw times. My stepfather passed away when I was very young. The man that raised me and I called dad passed away.
00:10:48
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I didn't have a relationship with my biological father. I had suffered lots of heartbreak. Like I said, I had grief from my best friend and I was writing all these things and I was sharing and I was kind of in this mode of realizing that when I kind of confess these things, I'd be vulnerable and I connect with people on that real, raw, very human level that I was feeling better about really tough things.
00:11:09
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And my mind couldn't help but see the parallels. Well, if you do that with this, you'll feel better like you it's proven like you've been kind of doing it with everything else. Like I said, of course, meaning my boyfriend helped because I mean, even now this is the first relationship where I really feel safe and I really feel valued. I really feel seen and it's someone who.
00:11:29
Speaker
i like honesty i didn't realize how how dishonest i was being really just with myself too and i have a partner now where he encourages me to be honest the good the bad and the ugly and we work through things together that's great but yeah i i think
00:11:45
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while living in the closet, so to say, I was telling a lot of half-truths and since I was calling it truths, I just, I completely disconnected.
Advocacy and Cultural Change in Sports
00:11:54
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I did not see withholding information as lying. I didn't see half-truths as lying. I didn't see omissions as lying. I was really kind of, like you said, compartmentalizing and really kind of just presenting a lot of the times and not really feeling bad about it.
00:12:12
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but also creating a wall and not letting people really be in my life and really engage and really fill my soul and my heart. So yeah, I think it's a lot of little things. It was just a cocktail of, I don't know, it's kind of the perfect storm because it wasn't always easy. That's awesome.
00:12:37
Speaker
We know that not every member of the NFL right now is straight. We know that that is not true. We know that there are other people probably in your position right now. What is keeping people from feeling, and I guess this loops back to a comment that I've seen you put out there, is just that the NFL is ready for this. The NFL is ready for LGBT players. What's stopping that threshold from being hit for people just to be open? For sure. I think there's so many things that come into coming out and
00:13:07
Speaker
Especially at a later age in life like when you do when you're in the NFL, especially like I'll take I'll take my personal Experience I made it you know, I made it to the highest level of achievement of my sport. I was on a team I have the respect of my peers I was playing and I was living my dream and I did all that while being in the closet. I
00:13:27
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So in my mind, I could not rationalize coming out at the moment because I was like, I did all this in the club. You know, like I made it. Like I don't need to come out to make my dream happen. Like I already did that. I'm already doing that. And to do anything that would quote unquote risk that, it seemed almost selfish in my mind because at this point I'm taking care of my mother and my grand, my granddad had moved in with me. I'm taking care of him. I'm in a position, like I said, I'm living my dream.
00:13:52
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and I'm in position to give back to a lot of people who have helped me and to risk not just my own dream or stability or happiness, but to risk theirs in a sense. It seemed almost selfish. It's kind of this very convoluted thinking and very kind of
00:14:08
Speaker
I don't wanna say martyr, but it's just kind of a very twisted outlook that you have when you're in the NFL. I know that a lot of people also are concentrated on, yeah, there are closet, professional athletes, there are closeted people everywhere. Like, how do we get these people to come out? And there's so much, especially at an older age that goes into it, how you're raised, you know, religion, where you're at, your safety is a concern for a lot of people, whether you're in the NFL or regardless. The people that you lose, your family,
00:14:35
Speaker
whatever it is, there's so much that goes into it that I can't really give, we can't give anyone like three steps for NFL players that will have them come out. Like this is just not a thing. I think the part of my mind frame that I'm really focused in is kind of the culture of sports. It's football specifically.
00:14:55
Speaker
I tell a story about the first time I ever held a football was in a game called smear the queer and I was very young and I didn't know what a queer was I just know if I had the football that I was the queer and that was bad and people were coming to like freakin beat me up so I mean just little things like that even the little bit of the parts of like toxic masculinity that goes into it the parts of like I
00:15:15
Speaker
boys don't cry get up from some dirt on it like be tough don't be a sissy the misogyny that goes into it you throw like a girl you know all these things um make it hard especially for younger kids who maybe are more aware of their sexuality more aware of who they are or just people who are like this doesn't feel safe for me i i came to a team environment to feel brotherhood and to feel sisterhood and to feel love and family and communion and come together and now i'm kind of being attacked and isolated and
00:15:43
Speaker
I mean, there are so many kind of underlying things in sports culture, not just in the NFL, that I think could change to make sports more inclusive. I think the goal is not to have more LGBTQ plus athletes, professional athletes come out, but to have more LGBTQ plus athletes going into the sport at a young age and sticking with it. Like how many young, great athletes did we lose because someone said the F word in the locker room or someone, you know, was using these homophobic slurs or anything.
00:16:07
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Even the small microaggressions of homophobia or racism or whatever kind of hate speech that we've allowed into the culture of sports has deterred so many bright young stars and athletes. So I think that is where the real challenge starts. I think that's where the real change starts too.
00:16:24
Speaker
Yeah, totally. Yeah, like how do you even enter into this world that you just don't even see yourself being able, you've pointed to it like being able to even succeed in it, right? No. You don't see others like you succeeding there. That's a catch-22. Were you out to anyone while you were in the NFL like privately, like anyone on the teams or associated with that or just like friends and family and what was that like?
00:16:48
Speaker
Mostly just friends and family. I had one player on the team who knew and it was kind of very shortened in passing We never talked about it again But it was mostly just and and when I say friends and family, that's also like it's not like all friends It's not like all family. It's like a very select group of people Who came to know for whatever reason? And I mean that was it was lonely of course, but I was so focused on
00:17:16
Speaker
Everything but me. I was so focused on football. I was so focused on my family. I was so focused, if I wasn't really sure if I was focused on that, I rarely, hardly ever looked at myself. Even of course, I mean, when my best friend got sick and got diagnosed, you know, I was focused on him and his wife. And I never really self-awareness, especially for men growing up in sports, even men in the black community. I mean, there are so many different layers to this.
00:17:43
Speaker
aren't really in tune with our emotions. Shocker. I had no call to stop and really self-evaluate and self-reflect and see like, hey, why am I riddled with anxiety? Why am I not sleeping? Why is it hard for me to eat sometimes? Why am I getting out of bed? I never had
Therapy and Personal Growth
00:17:59
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those moments. So I just had the, I have to. I have to get up. I have to be the provider. I have to do this. I'm living my dream. I should be happy. Why am I not happy? Just kind of all these things. So looking back now, being a much more
00:18:13
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I would say evolved version of myself. I really am just like, how did that kid do it? How did he do it? It really, it makes no sense.
00:18:23
Speaker
Yeah, and as somebody who, like, I work in mental health, I talk about people's mental well-beings, like, all day long, and I'm just curious, because you've mentioned, like, a lot of grief that you've gone through, you've mentioned depression, anxiety, and all of these other feelings, too. What were the tools, what were the, like, decisions that kind of, like, got you on a path to just, like, taking care of yourself better, too? I mean, coming out seems like it was kind of at the crux of that, too. But I'm just curious what that looked like. I...
00:18:51
Speaker
went to therapy. First and foremost, I mean, when I lost my best friend, especially, he was very much a man of God. I grew up in Texas, Bible Belt, so I had an introduction to religion. I identified as a Christian at the time, and so did my best friend, and he grew up in the church, and he's just the great guy, the best friend, the best brother you could have, the best husband you could have, a great student, a great player.
00:19:17
Speaker
And when he passed away so young and so tragically, it really shook my faith, which I think for me at that moment was necessary. And I think this is the first time I actually am saying that out loud because I also feel like I use religion as a crutch at times. Like, well, God's got a plan. Like I don't need to work on it. Like just, it's, he's got a plan. It'll all work. And at that moment I was like, I,
00:19:45
Speaker
can't really rely on that. Like I can't just kind of dismiss this off of the basis of a religion or of a bigger mission than I can't see. Maybe I'll come back to that, you know, because the grief will still be there and my best friends will be gone. But right now that's like not enough for me. That's like not filling my cup at this moment.
00:20:03
Speaker
So I went to therapy and it was hard because I, one, had to find out what type of therapist and what type of therapy I was responsive to and also just realized like, hey, is this not working because I don't want it to work? Like, am I just coming in trying to make this fail? So once having those conversations, I went to therapy and I really started battling
00:20:23
Speaker
with my initial grief and my initial abandonment because I found that for me I never really dealt with a lot of things and they were stacking up and that's where the anxiety and the panic attacks were coming and that's when I was raking really bad decisions from a really heightened place because when I lost Joe I didn't it just just feel like I lost my best friend it felt like I lost my best friends feel like I lost my dad again it felt like
00:20:45
Speaker
every breakup I ever had. It felt like every time I was lied or betrayed, and that's another reason why it was so overwhelming for me. So I had to start kind of unpacking these things the way that I stacked them, which is from the bottom up, which took a lot of work. I got into a place where I could meditate, where I could journal, where I could self-reflect with out, where I could dip my toes into pain, where I could dip my toes into grief and abandonment and not just waiting until it all just came and drowned me.
00:21:13
Speaker
because I think that's what I was doing. I think I was waiting until things got too hard for me to handle on my own and then making very bad decisions.
00:21:20
Speaker
Uh, what else? Yeah. I mean, I started, like I said, just doing things that I loved and enjoyed outside of like being good at it or outside of like making money for it. I started just connecting with people on a deeper level. I started reading books of people who I aspired to be like, people who had a message. I also wasn't a big like self-help book reader person. Definitely am now, just because there are always little nuggets, even if the language isn't something that you necessarily agree with. Like, well, I wouldn't use that word. I was like, but the message here is great. I started doing that.
00:21:49
Speaker
What else? A ton of stuff. Yeah. Therapy is like sort of a simple answer, but it's such a good one. It's not everything, but it really did kickstart things for me. It really can like make a big change. Well, and therapy is like a stepping stone to like learning more of what you can do in your life, right? Like if that's what I'm hearing in your story too, that like therapy was just like the ticket to like taking care of yourself and just making decisions on your own behalf.
00:22:16
Speaker
Definitely. Like I didn't want to, I had a bad experience kind of with medication and being misdiagnosed and trying to medicate something and I didn't want to do that. I'm more like a guy where I'm like, give me the tools and I'll work them. Like I just need, like it's football. Like I need a game plan and I'll make it happen. Like just give me a game plan. Don't just roll me out there and tell me just win the game. Like what's the plan?
Intersectionality and Activism
00:22:36
Speaker
Yeah, totally.
00:22:46
Speaker
So Russ, you've written about belonging to two worlds, like masculine and feminine, gay and straight, playing football and writing poetry, which are, you know, in Congress in some ways. I think a lot of bisexual people experience these things, like holding two things that seem opposite at the same time. What's that experience been like for you, if you could talk about that? And does your identity as a black man intersect with that in any way?
00:23:14
Speaker
Of course, I've, like you said, written about being in two worlds and even looking back at the ESPN piece, I'm constantly writing and editing my own thing. So I'm like, I could have done a little better here. But I've really come to embrace what I now describe as just my intersectionality, whether it be, like I said, my careers or my passions or being black and also being queer.
00:23:36
Speaker
and all of these things and I used to kind of see intersectionality I was very afraid of the word because it sounded like you were taking a smaller group and then cutting that and making it a smaller group and then cutting that and making it smaller and making it smaller and making it smaller until you felt really isolated and alone and I do very bad from those places of isolation and now I've reframed it to realize that intersectionality is so beautiful and so great because it's really kind of a bridge between these worlds
00:24:03
Speaker
Football and writing exist in the same place because they exist within me, and I am the bridge between these two worlds, whether it be the Black community and the queer community, whether it be masculine energy or feminine energy or whatever these worlds are, they aren't kind of separate places because I'm the bridge between all of them, as other people are, as we all are, we're the bridge between all these worlds. So that's how I frame it now. I wasn't at that point when I wrote the letter.
00:24:27
Speaker
So now I look back and I'm like, uh, I could have probably done a little better with this, but that's also why I'm writing a memoir now. So can correct all of my, my wrongdoing. That's awesome. I love that idea. Yeah. Well, and I think that just speaking to intersectionality too, like I think it's, that is not something that is introduced to us and just like makes a lot of sense to a lot of people. Like people go through a lot of work to realize like what, how that can help them in their own journey and how that can help other people too.
00:24:54
Speaker
You know you talked about this too, but like intersectionality does come into play when like we realize like how is this by community? Being like supporting each other if by people can't be openly Comfortable about their identity in the NFL for example, right? And I just really appreciate the way that you've referred to intersectionality almost It's like a mode of like supporting kind of a larger community and kind of acknowledging the differences between us all Yeah, it's great
00:25:20
Speaker
And it is a segue to one other question. In August, the NBA, WNBA, and MLB all went to varying degrees of striking in the name of Black Lives Matter, in the name of people like Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. And I've seen you wrote a few poems even that were
00:25:39
Speaker
in memory of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd and Tony McDade, I think there were the three names I saw you touching on. And I'm just curious, by no means am I looking for you to speak to like on behalf of the NFL or anything like that. But I am curious just like what your feelings are when you see that happening, especially as somebody who was in the NFL. Yeah, I definitely want to just first acknowledge what the
00:26:06
Speaker
NBA and the WNBA and all these leagues are doing because I think it's amazing to use your platform and your voice for change and for the betterment of all people and just honestly a special nod to the WNBA because not a lot of people know because not a lot of people are in tune but the WNBA has been doing its own like social justice work and have been doing things like this for a long time like those women are amazing like they've been leading the way I believe for all sports leagues in a lot of big ways.
00:26:34
Speaker
So I first want to just give my congratulations and just kind of my thanks and my appreciation, my gratitude to these leagues.
00:26:41
Speaker
With the NFL, we, I mean, we see strides being made. We see Roger Goodell sitting down and talking with people like in Emmanuel Ocho on his show about being, about being uncomfortable about talking about race and talking about these issues. We see them, you know, putting things in the end zone and making these statements and putting money places. And really they have the new NFL change and inspire change and giving their players platforms to talk and to speak.
00:27:07
Speaker
I think the beauty of the NBA and the WNBA and these organizations that we don't have is that they're kind of smaller groups. You know, it's kind of, I, in my mind, it's a little easier to get 15 people to come together and be like, okay, this is what we want to do when we do it. The NFL is an ever-changing thing. At this point, you can have 90 people in the roster. COVID is taking people in and out.
00:27:25
Speaker
the team will be cut down to 53, 46 will dress, you have the whole staff. It is kind of a harder thing to move kind of this big machine in a way and we see them making changes but also I mean until these problems until the problem is solved which is police brutality to black people and people of color which is the systemic racism in our country which is the underlying the underlying and microaggressions in the racism in our country hates
00:27:50
Speaker
All of these major issues, which we are not solved until they're solved, we will always ask more of these organizations because they can do more. I am excited to see what the NFL does in the upcoming season because I think that is also where they get a lot of their strength is from that platform. I mean, more people watch the Super Bowl on Sundays than anything else in the world. So, I mean, I understand kind of wanting to get to that point and to use your platform.
00:28:17
Speaker
So I am waiting to see what they do. I'm excited. I believe that they have all the tools and all the intentions to use them.
Future Plans and Final Thoughts
00:28:24
Speaker
And I'm excited to see what happens. Cool. What do you see in your future? Like what are your career goals at this point? Have they shifted in the last few years?
00:28:35
Speaker
Um, yes, I think they've shifted in the sense of I see things as reality now, whereas before, if you would have told me something like, oh, you'll be writing your memoirs with the late agent and starting to talk to publishers and getting that, uh, I would have told you that you were lying because one, I didn't tell anyone half of my life story, let alone write a whole book about it. So that's in my future. I think even with COVID and the pandemic and social distancing and trying to stay away, I've
00:29:03
Speaker
relied a lot on my artistry, my boyfriend and I, whether it's our YouTube, like I said, whether it's my writing, whether another poetry book is in the works. I've really had time also, both of us, to use our platform and to really make a transition from advocate to activist, because I think that's the big step that I'm going to make, that I'm attempting to make. That's the education that I'm doing now, because I think it's great to bring awareness, but me personally,
00:29:30
Speaker
I'm aware. It's time to make change. So I want to make that personal transition. What else? Literally, there's so many things that I want to do within myself. But first and foremost, getting back to NFL, I train every morning at 6 a.m. for hours on hours. My boyfriend can attest to that. So getting back to NFL and finishing my book and my memoir and getting that up and running,
00:29:56
Speaker
I'm a tool publisher are the two major things that I'm focused on and everything else I mean.
00:30:01
Speaker
When it comes, if it's for me, it's for me, and I'll do my best at it. Awesome. Do you have any advice for people who were in your position a few years ago, like other athletes who are struggling with their sexuality or other identity issues? For sure, especially if you're an athlete, I would say the same time and devotion that you give to your sport and you're crafting your dream, just make sure you're giving to yourself and your heart and your soul.
00:30:27
Speaker
Treat yourself like a teammate. You know, you wouldn't leave your teammate high to dry. You wouldn't throw your teammate under the bus. You would not show up for them on game day. So just make sure you show up for yourself. Make sure you're taking care of yourself and make sure you're helping yourself succeed in your day-to-day life and really
00:30:42
Speaker
feel just that love and support and that camaraderie that you would give to someone else. I love that. For people who aren't athletes or just anyone in general, I would say that the journey you're on, if you're on a journey of self-discovery, if you're on a journey of self-love, because that's what coming out is. It's a journey of self-love. That's how I see it. That all of the happiness and joy and all the accomplishments and success that you seek are on the other end of this journey.
00:31:08
Speaker
These things are not going to fill your life. You are not gonna get more successful and not feel a need to come on. You're not gonna get more of these things and feel so happy that you don't need. All of those things are on the other end of this. So just make sure that you are aware of that and that you put loving yourself and filling your own cup and taking care of yourself above everything else. Cause all that will come once you do that.
00:31:28
Speaker
That's the thing. Yeah, that's great. And those listening to the podcast can't see the shirt you're wearing, but it feels pretty appropriate to this conversation. It says love everybody and including yourself. Yeah, definitely yourself. I think people do leave. We leave ourselves out and
00:31:47
Speaker
that needs to stop. So true. Yeah. Awesome. Is there anything we didn't get to that you want to talk about that's on your mind? Arrest the officers that murder Breonna Taylor. Yes, I agree. Thank you. Yes.
00:32:05
Speaker
Cool. Well, thank you so much for being with us, Russ. This has been an awesome conversation and really inspiring. Yeah, such a worthwhile conversation to be having right now, especially in such a unique voice for our podcast specifically. So really appreciate you coming on. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Y'all have a good one.
00:32:27
Speaker
Two Bye Guys is created and hosted by Alex Boyan and me, Rob Cohen. Our logo art was designed by Caitlin Weinman, and our music was composed and created by Ross Mincer. Season 2 is executive produced and edited by me, Rob Cohen, and produced by Alex Boyan and Moxie Pung, with support from IFP. Thanks for listening to Two Bye Guys.