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TOQuickie: Kcud Around And Find Out
12 Plays19 days ago
20 minutes, baby.
Recommended
Transcript
Introductions and Comical Debate
00:00:00
Speaker
And action. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, everybody. Welcome to TOQ, or that's our Q for short, or that's our Quickie for short today. i am Danny, and as always, I'm here with my best friend, Adam. Say hi, Adam.
00:00:11
Speaker
Great. I'm glad to hear from you today, Adam. So anyway, so let me let me ask you something, Adam. What's the opposite of a duck? The opposite of a duck is a could. What do you think it is?
00:00:22
Speaker
I still say it's a goose. ah That is from... Our friend, that's Adrian, right? That sent that one? Yeah, was Adrian. ah First name Duck, last name Cringe. ah Wanted to know, what is the opposite of a duck?
00:00:35
Speaker
So you say it's Cud because it's spelled backwards. I think that that's cow vomit, so gross. I say it's a goose. Is that what a Cud is? I thought Cud was just like... Cud is like when a cow eats grass.
00:00:50
Speaker
When a cow eats, it needs to like throw the grass back up and then chew it some more and then swallow it again. Is that what that is? I hope you're not listening to this while you're eating. Oh, yeah. I'm pretty sure that's what cut is.
00:01:03
Speaker
Did you explain that this is a quickie, Daniel? I did. I said in the intro, weren't you listening? I said, that's or that's our quickie. Did you say that's our quickie? Yes. Oh, my God. Do you even listen to me?
00:01:15
Speaker
You dragged me here. do I need to. You know what? a Screw quickies. All right, it's i did late. And this jerk of a friend didn't answer me when I said, hey, you know, I could be ready by like 830. It's now almost 10 o'clock.
00:01:34
Speaker
And he answers at like nine-ish. And he's like, hey, man, I'm sorry. I didn't see the message. You know, I could still do one if you want. And I'm like, well, I'm already settled down. i took a shower. I took the trash out to the dishes.
00:01:46
Speaker
I'm like, ah I'm down. I'm good. ah We'll do it tomorrow on Saturday. And he just sends me a video of a guy walking away dejected. ah was Michael Cera from Arrested Development doing the sad walk to the Charlie Brown sad music.
00:02:01
Speaker
And, uh, oh. I can't say no to him. And then he
Opposites of Animals
00:02:06
Speaker
sends me a loving relationship goals video of the two of us. Of two of us walking. I made a gift for two of us the first day we met. That was what it was. We were holding hands in the mall. We were. And we were looking lovingly in each other's eyes. We were.
00:02:20
Speaker
Anyway, so you left that apart, sir. left that apart. Oh, did I? I'm sorry. Yes, because I said, what time do you want to get started? And you were like, oh, well, I haven't even eaten yet. It's going to be like 830.
00:02:31
Speaker
And I was like, that's half hour after our normal start. i was like, do do you need more time? do you want to do it tomorrow? And he said, actually, yeah, tomorrow works better. Cool. Let's do tomorrow. You said, what time? So we're going through all that. And so I started playing video games, dog. I didn't see the screen.
00:02:44
Speaker
So then when I shut the game off, I saw you message it. Actually, I might be able to do around 830 ish if you still want to do that. And it was nine when I saw it. And I said, I'm still down. and You said, I'm an old man and I got go bad now. I just want to settle down. I wasn't going to bed. at I was just down. I'm like, motherfucker, you just sitting in a chair talking to microphone. What kind of work? I got to set a hard time, you know, nine o'clock.
00:03:07
Speaker
If I'm not already doing stuff, I'm done. It's 9.55 now, so in the PM. Yeah, know. It's okay. you You dragged me out of my my stupor. Venus is the only planet to spin clockwise. Isn't that interesting?
00:03:21
Speaker
And lemons float in water, but limes sink. And that hot water will turn into ice faster than cold water because of a phenomenon known as the Mpemba effect. Did you know that? What are we doing?
00:03:32
Speaker
I just want to throw in my fun facts real quick now. I literally didn't know any of those, actually. I literally just typed in the Google fun fact about life and then these things are great. Good. How about instead, why don't you explain to me what your reasoning is for cud being the opposite of a duck?
00:03:48
Speaker
Because it's what it's spelled backwards. Yeah, but that's that's just a word. But what about the animal? What is a cud? Oh, that wasn't the question. It didn't say what animal is the opposite of a duck. It said, what's the opposite of a duck? I just assumed an opposite would be like it reflected backwards. and Okay, but then what is it?
00:04:05
Speaker
What is a cud? Yeah. It is animal backwards. What is it? So if a duck can float on water... and can walk on land with webbed feet, then a cud would be like some sort of like hooved creature.
00:04:22
Speaker
um Oh, it's a hippo. I got it. The opposite of a duck is a hippo. You know what? I'll be honest. My first thought when you said ah a hooved creature and then you were talking about them swimming before, I was like, Artax?
00:04:37
Speaker
What? Do you know who Artax is? The horse from Neverending Story that like falls in quicksand or something. Oh, yeah, i don't remember. I can't remember its name. But yeah, yeah, i do remember that.
00:04:49
Speaker
I forgot that was his name. Yeah, guess. But I think a hippo because hippos can go on land and they love to hang out in the water. And they're also kind of like real ducks can go on land. So wouldn't the opposite be it can't go on land?
00:05:03
Speaker
Yeah, but difference is what makes them opposites is that they have similar jams, except that, like, if you look at a hippo's feet, they're like big old clob-hopping fucking massive things. They're not meant to swim, per se. They're just like they hang out around the water, and they don't have wings, so they can't fly, and they don't have bills, so they can't, you know, give you bills to pay. That's nice.
00:05:26
Speaker
Yeah, so a hippopotamus is the opposite of a duck, a.k.a. a cud. because of those reasons, that they share similar qualities, and yet they are so different in every other way, that ducks typically prefer to leave people alone.
00:05:43
Speaker
Hippos are like, I'll fuck you and every other animal up if you come near my shit, dude. So, and they're not even, yeah, so there you go. To be fair, that is actually the same reasoning I'm using for goose, is a duck will leave you alone, but a goose will fuck your shit up if you go anywhere near it.
00:06:03
Speaker
Yeah, I've seen it. Mine was more like, you know, um Superman and like Nega Superman or whatever it's called.
00:06:13
Speaker
Bizarro? will super Bizarro. ah You know, kind of like that thing. they're ah They're the same thing, but they're opposites in terms of Oh, you're thinking like personality.
00:06:25
Speaker
Yeah. Like a duck is chill. I want a baby duck as a pet. I really do. I don't want you. Gross. Oh, no, absolutely. I want one. I want them to follow me everywhere I go. They're disgusting.
00:06:36
Speaker
They're so adorable. Shit everywhere. oh by it's the fucking raisins thing all over again. Here we go. What are you talking about? the more learn about you, the harder this friendship gets.
00:06:48
Speaker
It's because... Yeah, if you want to get wait, what the fuck you talking about with raisins? What do you mean? Don't you like raisins or some shit? Yes. What's I got? Yeah, that's the problem. Raisins are disgusting. Yeah, they're fucking grapes. Do you like grapes? They're rotten grapes.
00:07:02
Speaker
I love grapes. dried grapes. They're dehydrated grapes. love grapes because they're juicy and filled with, like, yummy goodness. So are good raisins, too. that I mean, there are bad raisins. I'm not going to lie. Yeah, all of them.
00:07:14
Speaker
There are people who over-sugarize them and then over-dry them, and then they're they're not good. But there are plump-ass fucking raisins out there. there's only one thing I like raisins in. Crunch.
00:07:25
Speaker
The trash. oh that's just cruel. You know what? That's where I put my ducks, especially the baby ones, Danny. know You can't do that to the ducks.
00:07:35
Speaker
I can do whatever I want. They're just huge. They're the they're. I want a baby duck buddy that follows me everywhere I go. That is that's why, though, they're so unsanitary.
00:07:48
Speaker
They're not. They are. ways They're unsanitary and they're grossed. And the shit everywhere. But a dog that rolls around in its own shit is fine, right? I don't own a dog, so I don't care about that either.
00:08:02
Speaker
Like, whatever. but You think I care about pets? i mean, the ones I hang out with are fine, but they're not mine. Somehow you like people, so I thought maybe you'd like animals because they're better. Uh, you know, I disagree because I can't have of a nice discussion like this with a dog or a cat or a duck. I talk to my bird every day.
00:08:20
Speaker
yeah And I'm sure he tells you all the wonderful things that I tell you is very agreeable. He says he nods. Yes. A lot. Exactly. You need someone weak is what I'm hearing.
00:08:31
Speaker
I need a yes man. You need a pushover is what you need. Yeah, absolutely. What is the opposite of a duck? Final answer. ah goose. A goose is your opinion because of the personality and temperament. Yeah. Yours is hippo.
00:08:46
Speaker
And mine is a hippopotamus because they are, so they have, they have the ability to be aquatic yet land similarly, except their structure is totally different. Their size is totally different.
00:08:57
Speaker
Their makeup is totally different. And yet they have similar qualities in the, in the terrain they like to hang out in. So I think that makes them similar yet different. So we just went a different path. You went personality.
00:09:08
Speaker
I went like just general makeup. So sure then I think the actual opposite of a duck is a hippopotamus with the um personality of a goose.
00:09:22
Speaker
Can we agree on that
00:09:27
Speaker
that? Say it one more time. Yeah. yeah so Why? That sentence was so clear and concise. The opposite of a duck is a hippopotamus with the temperament of a goose.
00:09:39
Speaker
Okay, you know what? We can agree on that. I think the opposite of a duck is a hippopotamus with the temperament of a goose.
00:09:50
Speaker
Yeah. That's both of our opposites. I mean, really, you you're just kind of agreeing with me because hippopotamus has already kind of had the same temperament as a goose. It's not so much I'm agreeing with you as much as I'm, you know, finding a middle ground.
Animal Preferences and Personalities
00:10:06
Speaker
More people die by hippos than they do most other... Well, that's because people are dumb and don't know to stay away from hippos. Don't go People know to stay away from geese. Yeah, that's the craziest part is people will like, even though geese, you could win a fight with most of those that you get into contact with.
00:10:24
Speaker
They're more afraid of those things than they are going up and hanging around an elephant or a fucking hippo. Like, man, you ever see those videos? We romanticize them too much. Elephants are not known like elephants and hippos and stuff like You see um elephants don't kill people all the time.
00:10:42
Speaker
That's what I mean. In real life, they do. But in like movies and stuff, they're always shown as like gentle or giant videos of them like picking up somebody's hat with their trunk and putting it on. Yeah. You know, like we romanticize them a lot in in media and stuff.
00:10:58
Speaker
And that leaves elephants alone. Oh, no nice. No, they're not. Not if they're wild. They can be, but just leave them alone, dude. They're fucking wild animals.
00:11:09
Speaker
Like, don't go pet that stray fucking feral cat. It's a feral cat. It's feral for reason. almost got scratched trying to pet a feral cat once. You know, don't go after that hippo just because it's cute. Don't approach ah an animal's babies.
00:11:23
Speaker
Listen, don't be stupid. All the stuff you watch on your TikToks and your Instagrams and you say... Boy, those people are really dumb. You wouldn't catch me dead doing shit like that. But it's those same people that do shit like that. It's the ones that think that they're not going to do it.
00:11:36
Speaker
That being said, I agree on every point. Except I want to give Mudang a hug. Well, Mudang is not a wild animal. It's a captive animal.
00:11:47
Speaker
So I can hug? um I mean, i don't know if you're allowed to hug it because I don't know like what the rules are in that zoo, but you have a better chance probably if you become a caretaker of said mudang to do that.
00:11:59
Speaker
But it's only going to get bigger, right? it's just That's why I want to get the hug now while he's baby. you say and While I can still put my arms around him. Just hug his leg.
00:12:10
Speaker
let them you know Boy, that maw can open up like as big as your fucking body, dude. Oh, yeah, though, i'm I'm going to stay away from that end. Hippo mouths are fucking, like, terrifying. Yeah.
00:12:21
Speaker
Manatees are also very They have teeth the size of my forearm. Yeah. So, you know, don't fuck with hippos. Don't fuck with elephants. Leave them alone. They're not your friends.
00:12:33
Speaker
They're not even each other's friends. They have their own shit to deal with out there. Leave them alone. um You know, that's my advice. Leave the op- leave cuds alone.
00:12:44
Speaker
Go hang out with your nice, friendly neighborhood beluga. Yeah, but not dolphins, because I hate them, too. You can squish their head because it's filled with fat. You can squish dolphins' heads.
00:12:57
Speaker
No, belugas. what you're saying? Belugas' heads. Well, squish dolphins' heads, too. They're little shitheads. ah Dolphins are cool. Dolphins are on the Epstein list, dude. Let's just be real, okay? Oh, my God.
00:13:09
Speaker
But killer whales, they're pretty cool. We like them. The whales are pretty cool. They're pretty cool. They're also aggressive attacking all those yachts. Right. They're not your friends. OK, but when they attack
Snacks, Shopping, and Happiness
00:13:21
Speaker
billionaire yachts, that's fine.
00:13:23
Speaker
That's all right. We we have an untold truce with them. Yes, I am trying to connect with them the best I can to my pal Aquaman to have him tell them to do the right things.
00:13:34
Speaker
Now we're not trying to kill anybody. We're just trying to wreck their nice things because they spent it on that instead of on, you know, making the economy better. And they have enough money to just deal with it. Yeah. I'm drinking a dead billionaire. Actually, I just finished drinking a dead billionaire just a few moments ago. i love a good dead billionaire.
00:13:50
Speaker
I don't mean that the way that sounds. I think of you every time I buy one. They're so good. i know. Except now I get the the big jug. Was it Lipton? Yeah, you do Yeah, I do.
00:14:04
Speaker
I got Blueberry Buzzsaw. That was the other one I bought today. I stopped getting those because they're expensive. I could get like the big they are Arnold Palmer's for like five bucks for like two of these giant. They are expensive, but every now and again, i just want one.
00:14:21
Speaker
I get you. And the place I did buy them is that Target. We get Target hates gay people now so they could suck my ass so they ain't get my business. Um, so then Walmart has it. Walmart also sucks, but every now and again, I'll go there, but they only sell them in like the six or eight ounce cans that's instead of the big ones.
00:14:37
Speaker
So like, it kind of sucks, but they did have some that tastes like Fruity Pebbles. That was kind of fun. Um, dude, let me tell you for, I know this is going to be huge. I want to work for lot of problems. I want them. I want to be just like that.
00:14:49
Speaker
I know this is huge first world problems, but like, you know, I'm sorry in advance for that. But, uh, the way like pay and bills lined up, kind of screwed us a bit.
00:15:02
Speaker
So we were thinking as a way to like help save money. We were going to skip a week of getting groceries and just kind of whittle down some of the food stuff we have.
00:15:15
Speaker
We have a lot of like frozen chicken breasts and stuff. Oh, okay. like say like We're not like starving. We're not starving. Okay. We're like, we have all this extra food that we never touch. It's like just frozen. And we have uh,
00:15:28
Speaker
a basement freezer filled with like chicken and stuff. We're like, let's skip a week, save some money and we'll we'll make this stuff. Oh, but man, I'm out of my iced tea lemonade. I'm out of Celsius. I'm out of Gatorade. I'm out of coffee. I'm out of all of like the good things in my life that make me happy. And I'm like, tomorrow is food shopping day. And I'm like, chomping at the bit.
00:15:54
Speaker
I'm like, all I have you left at this point is water. Like I need i'd need my dots pretzels. They're so good. You spend my listen, dots pretzels are good. Don't get me wrong, but they are fucking expensive. They're so good, though. They are good, but they are very bad for you and very expensive.
00:16:14
Speaker
but they are very good. I like the, uh, what's the, the cinnamon ones are good, but they're like too much for my, they make too much of a mess, but there's another one I like. It's the yellow bag, whatever the yellow bag is. I actually have that bag. That's the honey mustard bag. Honey mustard. Well, yeah, that one's pretty fucking good.
00:16:28
Speaker
Do you not like it? I have a bag of it still. And I'm like, you better finish that. You know what? Finish it broke because that's what you paid for it And you don't want to waste money. You know what? This is actually better. I'm seeing you on the 10th. Take it.
00:16:42
Speaker
you're gonna that half a bag's gonna be stale as fuck by the time get there I'm saving it for the party so well you know you better put it
Podcast Conclusion and Gratitude
00:16:51
Speaker
in a nice ziplock plastic bag or tape that shit up so it stays fresh put it in the fridge or something I'll eat it if it's there I don't care it will be will be there all right well that's good well hey you know what we're 17 minutes yeah Should we start rounding down so we can make that 20 minute mark? Cause we're it. think we should. I think we did a good job. The stands for quickie today.
00:17:13
Speaker
That's our quickie. That's our quickie. All right. Well, Hey, listen, everybody. ah This is a dream come true for me. I've always wanted to go to Danny's house. What? I wasn't even done.
00:17:25
Speaker
My dream to go to Danny's house. Tell me your dream. Oh my God. know what just for that i'm not telling you my dream anymore you're not i have a headache i don't want to do this anymore i'm tired i have a headache yeah have a headache i don't want to do the quickie anymore that's right no i just say this um thanks everybody ah website updates are taking a little while um just because I'm trying to kind of figure out how I can get some artists on there. It's a lot more slow moving than I thought, but we're working on it. And Danny and I are also going to start doing some collaboration with some authors pretty soon, not just to do work for them, but to maybe post some of their work. And you may be hearing them on future episodes of That's Our Q. So stay tuned for that. And if you know any authors out there or voice actors,
00:18:13
Speaker
who want to come on the show and talk to us maybe about their projects they coming up, please refer them to us and to reach out to us on Discord if you know who we are in there, or just on funnestallersnetwork.biz, where you can go to the message section right on the first page and say, hey, dog, I know somebody who you should collaborate with.
00:18:27
Speaker
Here's how to get into contact with them. They said it's cool. So thank you for doing that, and we will update things slowly but surely. um So we're at 1830 right now. Danny, go ahead and take it away, buddy. All right. Thank you all so very much for listening. We really do appreciate it.
00:18:41
Speaker
ah You know, We say all the time that we, you know, oh man, if only this were our job and all that. But like, seriously, we do appreciate every little bit of support, even if it's just listening, even if it's just telling somebody, hey, I found these two funny idiots. ah Check this out.
00:18:57
Speaker
You know, that that kind of stuff is really what makes... um doing this worth it is just bringing smiles, bringing happiness to people and making them laugh. It's, you know, we get to hang out as friends. That's pretty cool. And we get to, you know, say so funny, stupid shit all the time, which is fun.
00:19:14
Speaker
And I still got 45 seconds left. So let me tell you something. This is honestly a dream come true. I know I don't say it much anymore. I got made fun of to hell back. So I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't end every episode like that. true But you know what? No, not by you. it wasn't you that did it.
00:19:32
Speaker
um But you know what? It is true. It really is a dream come true for me to do this. It's something I've always wanted to do, and it's been super fun every step of the way. We had a little hiatus, but we're back.
00:19:45
Speaker
We're better than ever. We're now 20 minutes. This a good quickie. I only got like 10 seconds left. I got to fill. Adam, you better something punchy at the end. have eight seconds. I know. I got this. Don't you worry about it.
00:19:57
Speaker
Because it's three, BLOOF! yeah