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Violent Therapy And A New Way To Wipe
14 Plays20 days ago
Today we discuss if there is a correlation or causation for how people decompress with violent media such as a shooter video game or a movie with lots of explosions or kill counts. We also talk about several different ways that people clean their bums after dropping a deuce. So listen!
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Transcript
Introduction and Banter
00:00:00
Speaker
Have been pushed. Push the button. um Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and everybody inside and outside the gender norm spectrum.
00:00:10
Speaker
ah Welcome back to That's Our Q. I am Danny Guarantee, joined by my lovely, i don't i almost said assistant, but not assistant, co-host, Adam. Hi. Although Adam is the one in the sexy dress.
00:00:24
Speaker
I am Danny's assistant. I will be turning around the letters today every time you guess a correct letter.
00:00:31
Speaker
hey
00:00:34
Speaker
S. Guess what the next letter's gonna be. oh K! You got it! Ask a question! Woo! Alright, do the thing, Danny.
Can Violent Media Be Therapeutic?
00:00:49
Speaker
da that that that Oh, am I asking the question? No, I mean ask the question, Danny. Ask the question. Alright. This comes from our good friend Dixon, also Dixon.
00:01:02
Speaker
Yeah. For TOQ. I know that mental health is very important to both of you. How do you feel about consumption of violence-centered media as a form of therapy?
00:01:13
Speaker
For instance, reading JTHM, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, which I have, which Adam has, which I'd never heard of, which literally has a mention in the compilation's intro of using the violent imagery as a substitute for actually causing violence, or blowing stuff up in Hell Divers, the video game of your choice,
00:01:35
Speaker
Do you feel that it's a legitimate form of therapy? Do you think it's not really helpful? Just curious about your thoughts. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. That's a fake one.
00:01:45
Speaker
I'm trying to find what he's talking about because the... um
00:01:52
Speaker
um I'm reading it right now It says there's a little monster inside all of us, a little wolf-paced monkey that needs to be satiated. As people, we mustn't ignore that monster. If we do, we cheat ourselves. We deny emotion, a feeling.
00:02:08
Speaker
Oh, the one paragraph says, let's talk about violence, shall we? Violence in the media is an easy target. If we get rid of all the violent movies, television shows, and comic books, the world will be utopian. And an easily believable answer. Just ask your mom.
00:02:21
Speaker
And then it goes on to say those other things about... um Think of someone who pissed you off, some yuts who cut you off in traffic, a prick-ass Kinko's employee who took three hours to copy your resume.
00:02:32
Speaker
um the big bully who spit in your face when you were eight. Now in your head, relive that moment. This time, however, don't just stand there and take it. This time you've got a knife. Pull it up from behind your back and watch the status flip-flop.
00:02:45
Speaker
Suddenly Mr. Kinko isn't so cocky. The playground bully is crying for his mother. Smell their fear, then kill them. Kill them like you see in the movies. Make it as horrible as possible. Release that monster and stab that knife deep into their face. That goes on for a couple paragraphs, but...
00:03:00
Speaker
The one more that I'll read on top of this is, as humans, we are taught to forget that we are animals. Animals kill to survive. and it's just as natural for us. To deny nature is to deny life. Now that you've committed murder in your dream world, relax.
00:03:13
Speaker
Take a deep breath. Give your monster a high five and put them away.
The Role of Emotional Support in Preventing Violence
00:03:17
Speaker
You've just used an evil fantasy to keep you civilized and sane. Some may call this irresponsible advice. They kid themselves that their monster doesn't exist.
00:03:26
Speaker
And when a person lies to themselves, there is less chance for spiritual growth. More than likely, their monster will step out of the dream world and into the real world. That's how a society gets messy. Lots of neglected, hungry monsters.
00:03:38
Speaker
So that's ah from Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, the opening ah diatribe of why this comic book exists. and Interesting.
00:03:50
Speaker
Yeah, actually. Yeah, I do agree with some of that. um
00:03:58
Speaker
I'm going to give a real short answer and then we can dig into it more. but Absolutely. my My short pre-answer, don't think consuming violent media or playing violent video games or anything like that, I honestly don't think yeah works as a therapy to not do those things, but I also don't think it works as a trigger to do those things, right? Like, I don't think playing GTA is going to stop you from going on a homicidal rampage, but I also don't think it's going to cause you to go on a hi homicidal rampage thinking it's okay.
00:04:39
Speaker
um
00:04:41
Speaker
Like, I never... um And of course, that's... um assuming that the the individual is mentally sound, right? All this goes out the window when you're dealing with mental illness of any kind.
00:04:55
Speaker
So I'm going to, for the sake of the argument, assume our person mentally sound. I don't think it would work as a therapy, but I also don't think it would work as a trigger. But I do really like that that ah homicidal maniac went into...
00:05:12
Speaker
not feeling heard, your monster not feeling heard. And I think that that's the big thing. I think if little Jimmy who gets bullied every day had somebody who he could actually talk to about it, who actually listened, understood and helped,
00:05:26
Speaker
I think that would make a huge difference. It would keep him from having that episode one day where he's like, well, I have a knife. I could flip the table. You know, I think the biggest thing, and this goes for adults as well, and you can see it in the adult world everywhere.
00:05:41
Speaker
Nobody feels heard right now. Nobody's getting the help they need right now. Everybody's struggling. Everybody's worried about a million things, whether it be money, status, whether it be putting food on the table, keeping your house.
00:05:54
Speaker
All of that shit builds up, right? And it makes it so easy to just snap at like the littlest thing. And I think that that is where we need to focus.
00:06:06
Speaker
And unfortunately, I think the only way to fix that um or therapy for that is to fix the underlying problem. Give people security in their life. They say money doesn't buy happiness, but it does buy security.
00:06:20
Speaker
And I think that that alone would make a huge difference to the violence epidemic that we're finding ourselves in.
Healthy Outlets for Anger and Stress
00:06:28
Speaker
My God, I went on a lot longer than I thought I was going to. That's the short answer.
00:06:33
Speaker
That's okay. I've gone for like 10 minutes. so You only went for about two and a half, so it's fine. For me, that's a lot. Well, that's good. I'm trying to pull more out you.
00:06:43
Speaker
So follow up, just to get back to the root of the question then. Yes. So like they Dixon mentions consumption of violence centered media as a form of therapy.
00:06:57
Speaker
Now, if we I'm just trying to play devil's advocate to see how close to the other side of the spectrum we can get. So let's say that the way that one feels but like sometimes this is a subconscious thing. Like I play video games to make myself feel better. It's not like.
00:07:13
Speaker
I don't know too many people the gay that say I play violent video games to make myself feel better. It's just I play video games to make myself feel better. Right. So now if someone's like, you know what?
00:07:25
Speaker
Now that ah that guy pissed me off, I'm going to go make that guy's character in. ah I don't know, ah game where you could do that and then like. you know, like a wrestling game and then put them through all the tables and hit them with all the ladders and, you know, play the set your opponent on fire match, like stuff like that. Like whatever it is that where you're like, Oh, I'm going to imagine that that hell divers robot is Carl, blah, blah, blah, Carl, Carl.
00:07:54
Speaker
Right. So like, if you know you're doing it, like if it's an intentional practice of this is how I'm going to make myself feel better is like, like Jonah and Vasquez was saying like, Oh, this time I'm going to have a knife. But instead of imagining it, like in your dream, you're playing your video game or maybe you're watching your favorite movie and you're like Oh yeah, that guy that got blown up. That was Dave. Cause Dave looked at me wrong the other day. Fuck Dave.
00:08:19
Speaker
You know, like how do you think that pendulum swings that way at all? I think i do. I actually think that doing that is.
00:08:31
Speaker
Actually counter. To therapy, I know it probably feels good at that moment. But what you're doing is you're letting yourself dwell on it.
00:08:44
Speaker
So you're worrying about it longer than you have to write like, OK, Dave bullied me in school today. i you know, I hate Dave. He's the worst. Fucking Dave. But like, I'm out of school now. It's nighttime.
00:08:59
Speaker
Killing him in a video game is not going to make me, or is not going to make my situation any better. And now I'm bringing it home. Right now I'm worrying about Dave, even though I'm home. And I could just be relaxing and enjoying this time I have without Dave in my life.
00:09:16
Speaker
um Obviously it's different if you you're bullied like your brother or something, but hear me out. Um, so I think it's actually antithetical to do this because now you're focusing on that and you're D there is stuff to be said about desensit taste desensitization,
00:09:40
Speaker
And I think you're desensitizing yourself to the idea of hurting Dave by doing stuff like that. I think, you know, by killing him in a video game, a whole bunch, um,
00:09:51
Speaker
you that that's kind of what opens the door to be like, I could just bring a knife tomorrow. I could do that. um I think the problem starts at having that dream where you let your monster out on Dave instead of actually doing it.
00:10:09
Speaker
Does that make sense? Yes, but i hard disagree. Oh, let me hear it. Yeah, so... Although I do see where you're coming from for sure.
00:10:20
Speaker
um So, and, and, and you're right. I do think there is potential for a point of no return, but again, I'm going from the original concept of this is like an emotionally, for the most part, emotionally well-rounded person who's had just like a bad experience. They don't know what to do about, right?
00:10:40
Speaker
Not somebody who's been teetering on the edge for quite some time because that absolutely there is potential for that to, you know, bleed into real life.
00:10:51
Speaker
Right. And I'm not saying it hasn't. I'm sure, you know, somebody has seen something on TV that they were like, oh, yeah, that's what I'll do. You know, but I don't think it's just somebody saw a movie once and their brain was like, I need to commit violence now.
00:11:05
Speaker
Like sometimes it just kind of depends on sometimes that stuff is influenced at home. What you see at home, what you see in your regular life. Actually, I shouldn't say sometimes most of the time it's influenced by what you see at home or in your personal life or in school.
00:11:18
Speaker
So having said that, I don't think necessarily that like, I think there's a limit. So say I'm at school or I'm at work and some person's just giving me the hard time or like my boss is just being the biggest prick on earth. And like, I can't speak out to him right now because I'll lose my job. I'll lose my livelihood.
00:11:35
Speaker
So I go home and I, load up SmackDown versus raw 2005. And, you know, I build this guy named Dave and I'm like, all right, Dave, me and you buddy. And I give them all the shittiest stats I can give them.
00:11:48
Speaker
And then for like about a, you know, for the entire match, I'm just like putting them in every submission hold that I can remember the code for. And then he taps out and like, all right fuck you, Dave. And then it just ends there because like you had a place to put that anger. Right.
00:12:02
Speaker
I think for the same reason, that like if somebody's angry and they go to the gym to work out or if somebody's angry and they go for a run or somebody's angry and they write it in their journal or somebody's angry and they start doing crafts.
00:12:13
Speaker
Right. Now, if I do, ah if I'm painting. and I paint Dave getting ah gored by a deer, ha, take that Dave, you know? And then if that's the end of it, like that's how that, if I can put that rage into a space and then that's where it stops just so I can like have it be somewhere outside of my body, but in like a creative way or or or a hobbyist way.
00:12:36
Speaker
Cool. Well, all right. Now what I'm saying it now, now to your point, now what I could see is if, you know, if it becomes a regular occurrence, I'm talking every single day, you encounter this torture, you encounter this negative thing.
00:12:54
Speaker
I don't think it matters what you're consuming. At some point, the dam's going to break, right? I don't think it's necessarily like, oh, I keep going into a video game to kill Dave, or I keep going into, ah you know, my craft room and writing different ways that Dave gets like beaten up by woodland creatures i think at some point it's like you know there's another problem there and i don't think it's necessarily the video games or the movies or the violent content that is causing it but it could turn into like a hey you know what maybe because this constant thing is happening to me that like now this isn't enough what i'm doing it was keeping me at bay for so long but maybe something worse happened this time
00:13:36
Speaker
Or maybe a new element was added that pushed you over the edge or something totally unrelated to Dave happened. And now you're like, I don't know how to take this abstract concept and put it into a game where I can let out my aggressions because now it's something beyond just Dave, right?
Cultural Norms and Masculinity's Impact on Emotional Health
00:13:54
Speaker
So like, I think when there's a lot of elements that start to collect, then yeah, I could see that dam start to break. and you're like, maybe I'll just real life, bring a deer into school and have a gore Dave, you know, like, you know, like, and it's a ridiculous example, but it's stuff like that where like, you start thinking like, all right, how can I apply things to real life? Because you don't have the tools, maybe not through therapy or through a good support network or through a reliable friend or good books that you've read or some sort of I don't know, relaxing YouTube video that has guided you in a way or that Instagram post you just needed to see at the right moment. We've all had it.
00:14:28
Speaker
We're like, ah, you know what? I'm so glad I saw that today. That applies to me. You know, changes your way of thinking. If you don't have something like that to poke a hole in that balloon and or that waterbed, let some air and water out, like it's going to burst eventually.
00:14:42
Speaker
So and to your point there, I think it depends on what's escalating in the real world that maybe eventually what's happening in the in the gaming world or the movie world isn't enough anymore.
00:14:55
Speaker
Right. So that's where I could see your point. But I don't think it would just be like, oh, I'm dwelling in it because I just want to beat the shit out of Dave. I think it's beyond like. I just don't want it to sound like the video game or the movie is the problem. I think it's just there's, there's at some point you're not facing, ah you need to find a healthier way to tackle.
00:15:14
Speaker
Right. I'm not a game are trying to say the video game is the problem. It's not. It's the fact that you're not letting yourself let go of it and then you're stewing on it. It would be the same for my argument, right?
00:15:26
Speaker
If instead of video games or like you said, painting or everything, just sitting down, closing your eyes and imagining yourself killing Dave. Like, Any of that. you're you're You're letting yourself dwell on it more and more and kind of letting it envelop you. And people are right when they say that like rage is a monster that can eat you. It can take over everything.
00:15:49
Speaker
And if you let it, you'll eventually do something you regret. Sure. They, what do they say now? Living rent free in your head. The idea of like, I did something to you that you're going to be thinking about all day.
00:16:05
Speaker
I'm living rent free in your head. And then that becomes even a one up. And it's like, you can't let it get to that point. I know it's hard. I'm trust me. I'm not saying it's easy, but in my opinion, you have to be like, okay, I'm done with school.
00:16:23
Speaker
You know, David's gone for the day. Now I can finally relax. If I want to get the anger out on a video game, that is fine. I would absolutely boot up Helldivers and shoot a bunch of bugs and bots. and But I wouldn't put Dave's face there. I would just be like, yeah, get him! you know Blow him up! And then that's just my catharsis.
00:16:45
Speaker
Yeah, and I think i think that's where... like ah ah look I think it's a whole other conversation to say, like, leave it at school, leave it at work, leave it wherever. But you're right. Like you can only control what you can control, but knowing the anxiety of knowing, like, you know, in a previous episode, we talked about how like you would need like a fair warning ahead of time to have company come over or to prepare yourself mentally to go do social activity.
00:17:11
Speaker
But knowing it's happening every single day to whatever degree that you have to put up with it. And it's just me. All day, every day. and You have no breaks. Once you get once you come home, you sleep for a few hours, you go back. There's Adam on Monday.
00:17:24
Speaker
There's Adam on Tuesday. There's Adam on Wednesday. All day, every day. Just sucking your energy dry. And like, you know, like that anxiety of like, I have to go back to work tomorrow. And Adam's going to sit next to me and tell me all about why video games are.
00:17:41
Speaker
Or fun because he put Dave's face in it or whatever. So like like that anxiety of knowing like when I go back to work, when I go back to school or when I'm going to see this person tomorrow, like that is hard to let go of. But you're right. It is something that you have to find.
00:17:54
Speaker
like Like I was saying earlier, like there has to be a better way to. to And you're right. It is. I would say it's literally impossible to let it go at that point. But that is where I go back to my first point.
00:18:07
Speaker
where I say that the actual problem is we need people that you need, like actual help. Yeah, we exist in this world. We need a place where you could go tell somebody, an adult who will actually listen and do something about it.
00:18:22
Speaker
You hear all the time like about like the school shooters and everything that, well, they were always kind of weird or dark or maybe they even went to the school counselor and told them about it and just nothing happened.
00:18:35
Speaker
Hello? like right I don't really care if David gets expelled over this. He deserves it for being a little shit stain. Sorry. you need it like We need a shit stain monitor to actually do stuff to to bad kids.
00:18:50
Speaker
We need a shit stain monitor at schools and at work and in just public places where the moment someone starts getting crazy, just like, all right, get in the boxing ring. Yeah, and it doesn't have to be a cop with a gun. For God's sake.
00:19:04
Speaker
um Yeah. And before anybody takes what I said too far, I am not saying beat your kids at all. I'm not saying I'll do it when I said, like, we have to do something about a kid that's being bad. I don't mean hit them.
00:19:15
Speaker
But if a kid comes to you and says, hey, you know, or it comes home from school crying all the time. And, you know, if I came home from school crying, my parents would be like, all right, you know, tell me who I have to beat up.
00:19:29
Speaker
Right. Well, they didn't mean literally, but they would go to the teacher and be like, this kid needs to face some accountability. You can't just let this slide. Right. But let's be let i i know that it's easy to lean into the school thing because that's a constant problem in America.
00:19:47
Speaker
But like our audience, I think, is mostly if not all adults. And I think and and and and and you're thinking right there, Danny, is exactly not only a good conversation, but also a bad way to lean in the conversation. And let me tell you why, because that is the conversation that always gets skipped over after a couple of days when something violent does happen in a school.
00:20:15
Speaker
But one thing that I will say, I read something the other day that really kind of clicked with me that is better in words than how I think I can put it. But they said that the one thing that the patriarchy did bad for men was that it like it made it so that way they don't have a space to express their emotions and have that support network.
00:20:35
Speaker
And then they made a funny joke afterwards where the the girl was like, you know, I told my my best friend who's a girl that I was going to order a salad for dinner. And she called me right away because I'd never been a salad person and asked me if I was OK.
00:20:48
Speaker
She's like, your friends don't like guy friends don't do that. And so I was like, you know, it's silly, but it's true. So like, and and again, the only reason I cite that is because most of the violence in our country is from men who don't know what to do with their emotions and they don't know where to put them and they don't know how to handle them.
00:21:04
Speaker
So the reason the reason I want to bring this up is I want to talk to the adults that are listening. Okay.
00:21:10
Speaker
Whether we're talking about kids, whether we're talking about other adults, or we're just talking about you in a room by yourself. If you have an opinion, you should also be modeling what that opinion is in a way that is productive.
00:21:25
Speaker
Meaning if they say, oh, well, that guy needs therapy. And I say this because my own sister who believes in therapy and works as a therapist will not go see a therapist herself because she thinks that she is above that, which is absolutely insane to me. That's crazy to me. Love the woman to death, but she thinks that she is the exception to the rule, but will still be like, oh, well, I know some therapists if you need it. That sounds like you could really use some therapy, honey, you know, to other people in her life.
00:21:51
Speaker
And I'm like, What the fuck? like it But you won't do it? like You can't tell people it's good for them, but not for you. That's just not... That's like having a cigarette in your mouth and saying, don't smoke, kids. Here's a pack. like That's crazy. That's absolutely insane.
00:22:05
Speaker
So if you believe in mental health, if you believe in getting people's services, if you believe that people should have access to expressing their emotions in a way, or or even if you take out any other services that America and other countries can offer, let's just put all that aside for a second.
00:22:20
Speaker
Model the behavior... Break the cycle, right? I know a lot of us come from families. I come up from from a very conservative family, a very poor family, a very kind of disconnected family from a lot of other parts of society who it was just like, men aren't allowed to cry.
00:22:37
Speaker
That's what I was taught to believe. Men can't cry. Boys have to suck it up and they have to protect the women. And again, I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with protecting your family and protecting women. What I'm saying is They led with men don't cry. Men don't need help. Men don't ask for help.
00:22:53
Speaker
Right. Like, that's crazy. And I grew up believing that for a long time, dude. And like, that's I'm so glad I broke away from that. And I'm not saying it's just conservative households. I'm just saying that's where I came from. And I can only speak to where I come from.
00:23:06
Speaker
but we were just off in the woods. My mom only ever wanted to live away from society, out in the woods somewhere. She didn't want to live in cities or towns or have neighbors. We did a couple times just because the program we were in that helped us get housing made us.
00:23:20
Speaker
But for the most part, when my mom had the choice, we lived out in the middle of fucking nowhere. And um it was because she just didn't want to be around people. And So the only people that I saw and how they acted were either when I was at school or when I was at home.
00:23:36
Speaker
And, you know, we were just taught this is how it is. That's how men are supposed to act. You have to be tough. Hide your emotions away. Cry in your room if you have to, but do not cry in front of anybody else.
00:23:47
Speaker
And it took my own brother dying for me to see my dad cry for the first time. Like I'd never seen the man cry my entire fucking life. And I saw him cry when I was 19 years old.
00:23:59
Speaker
And I was like, oh, I didn't know we were allowed to do that. You know, like, oh, okay, we can cry now. So what I'm saying is this, guys and gals and non-binary folks, listen.
00:24:10
Speaker
If you have a problem with how the world is treating you, other people, or or or are neglecting the resources, or how they interact with one another, the thing you can control is what you are doing, and what you are consuming, and how you are processing things.
00:24:26
Speaker
And if you are somebody who says you need therapy, but you like projecting to someone else they need therapy, but you are not in it, then don't give that advice because you're not doing it.
00:24:37
Speaker
Right. If you say, oh, you should really talk to that person, but then you realize you don't talk to people about your own problems, then don't tell other people what they should be doing because you are not qualified to give that advice, son.
00:24:48
Speaker
You just need to practice your own shit. So here is my advice. Practice before you preach. Like, you know, practice. Wait, are you in a good place to give this advice?
00:25:01
Speaker
Am I in a good Absolutely. yeah Do you you follow this advice before you give it out? Yes. i I have been in therapy for almost a year now, and I've never told anybody else to go to therapy.
00:25:12
Speaker
I've just been fighting really hard with my insurance companies to let me go to therapy for a long time. And I have a lifetime of experience working through trauma. And and there's some times where I'm recognizing that maybe I'm speaking out of turn and I shouldn't be doing that. I do analyze people sometimes.
00:25:27
Speaker
and I'm trying to be more aware of it. So I'm not saying that I'm perfect and I'm the one that should give you all that advice. But what I can say is that or that I'm the only one you should listen to. But what I am saying... Is that a lifetime of trauma, a lifetime of working through said trauma, going to therapy and finally being told from my therapist, well, sounds like you got here a little late because it sounds like you worked through all the big stuff already.
00:25:49
Speaker
She told me in my own words, she says, Adam, you're pretty much winning at therapy right now. And I was like, fuck yeah. So what I use her for now is when present problems come up because I finally realized that I've worked through all the big stuff that I've suffered in my life.
00:26:03
Speaker
But it comes from personally. reaching i would have never gotten through my 20s if I didn't lean on people ask them questions ask them for help ask them for money sometimes when I was just flat out like about to be evicted like sleeping on people's couches like I would have never made it through my 20s after the trauma I went through like I said losing my brother at 19 and then going through my twentyent s trying to process that plus a breakup that happened right before that and then my best friend dying two years after that like it was a weird couple of fucking years dude And I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, man, that I would not have survived had I not just said, I am struggling.
00:26:40
Speaker
I am having problems. I need help. And I was loud and I was persistent and I was just fierce about it. I was like, you cannot call yourselves my friends unless you can be there for me. I didn't say that, but that's why I was like, really what it was, was I cannot...
00:26:56
Speaker
be their friend and call them my friend if I don't ask them to be there for me. And so I did. And everybody rose to the occasion without even asking a second question. And so what I'm saying is this model it, practice it.
00:27:11
Speaker
If you want to see change around you in the people that you love, Then you need to model it. If you're saying, hey, it's okay to ask for help, brother, sister, friend, dad, mom, grandpa, whomever, then you should also ask for help. And even if you don't think you need it, find a reason to get some help and ask them for it to show that it's okay too, right?
00:27:32
Speaker
Whatever that looks like. So whether it's a video game or whatever else that is, like everybody has their own coping mechanisms. And I don't think those things push people to the edge. What I do think pushes people to the edge is when they think they have to internalize it and that that outward projection they do on it with a video game or a book isn't enough anymore.
00:27:50
Speaker
And it's because they need someone else to help them shoulder that burden. but they decide to do it on their own because they haven't seen anybody model that behavior to ask for that help. So here is what you should do.
00:28:02
Speaker
Practice it before you preach it and then try to catch yourself if you're preaching it before you practice it. Or if you preach it without practicing it, declare during that preach that you too wish to practice it, if that makes sense.
00:28:16
Speaker
So yeah basically, in fewer words, um what Adam, I think, is trying to say is you got to basically check yourself before you wreck yourself.
00:28:30
Speaker
Right? That's what I'm getting. Well, not only check yourself but before you wreck yourself, check yourself before you try to teach others not to wreck themselves. Right. Because you may inadvertently project something to them, or they may not take your word as seriously because they see, how can you tell me not to smoke if you're doing it?
00:28:52
Speaker
How can you tell me to ask for help if you never ask for help? And I can tell you something I've said on the show before, the consistency in your character is key to change. it People will notice it.
00:29:03
Speaker
They will notice change. They will notice if you're consistent in what you say you will do and you do it. So that is how we avoid stuff like this is we just kind of make sure our arms are extended. We take on the burdens that we can.
00:29:15
Speaker
And we ask for help for the ones that we can't and to be realistic about it. Video games got nothing to fucking do with it. Movies got nothing to fucking do with it. If it's becoming too much that your hobby is not enough for you, it's because the dam is about to break for other reasons.
00:29:29
Speaker
And you need to find a way to process that through therapy, through your support networks or, you know, some other external force that will help you carry through it. So having said that, that's my answer is no, I don't think violent video games or movies are a problem or that like that is a bad form of therapy.
00:29:48
Speaker
But I don't think that should be the therapy. damn It is just an it is long. It is just an outlet. Very nice. It was very well put.
00:29:59
Speaker
Sorry, i apologize. I said, don't you want long at all. That's what this show is for. Actually, hey, actually, I decided on something else I wanted to try today so I could I can lighten the mood because i I don't know. Oh, I actually had something to lighten the mood, too.
00:30:15
Speaker
Oh, what was your thing? I have two things I wanted to do real quick. OK, OK, go ahead. Number one, just backtracking like 10 minutes. Um,
00:30:27
Speaker
When you were talking about how you were brought up and you were told never to cry, you know, ah never show emotion as a man, all this stuff. Yeah. um I just want to give my take on that whole thing for everybody.
00:30:40
Speaker
Sure. Because I find this is a very good way to to kind of frame it. And I know you've probably heard it before. um But we all love to say that, like, the dumbest person in the room is the loudest and thinks they're the smartest.
00:30:56
Speaker
Or like um someone who is a nice guy. The biggest red flag is telling you they're a nice guy. who Because if you are actually nice, you don't need to tell everybody. Or if you are actually smart, you don't need to scream about how smart you are.
00:31:17
Speaker
Your character. Masculinity. What's that? Said your character will show that. Right. Masculinity goes the same way. I consider myself manlier.
00:31:29
Speaker
than the jacked up 240 guy who drives a pickup truck with giant rims. Because I am securing my masculinity to the point where if my friends dared me to wear a dress, I'd wear a damn dress. I don't really care. i don't mind being a goofball.
00:31:46
Speaker
I don't mind crying. I don't mind being cutesy and like flirty with my guy friends. The very first thing I did when I saw Adam in person was hug him in public. and And tell me that you so I smelled like you thought I would.
00:31:58
Speaker
And you did. it was beautiful. Yeah, that on video somewhere. It was a beautiful Adamie Musk. um But it's it's the same as those other things, right? Like, if you're so concerned about peering manly that you can't cry, you can't let any emotion show, you think you need to be jacked just to, like, prove that you're a man...
00:32:25
Speaker
That's fragile. You're fragile. And I'm sorry. I'm not trying to piss you off. Please don't hurt me. But you are like you you need to realize that.
00:32:37
Speaker
To really be secure in your masculinity, you need to get to the point where you don't need to prove it to other people. hmm. OK, that's all I had on that. um I had a nice story that happened to me yesterday. I was going to end the episode on to kind of cheer things up.
00:32:54
Speaker
Oh, you were going to end the episode on that? Well, it doesn't have to be the end You said you had something else, too. Yeah, sure. Yeah, tell the nice story. So I'll tell the nice story, then.
00:33:05
Speaker
So yesterday I was playing a game online with a bunch of friends. ah There were like six of us all together. And one of my friends said, oh, hey, by the way, I'm sorry, but me and friend number two were talking about you the other day.
00:33:20
Speaker
And we just wanted to let you know that we think it's awesome how you're able to take any situation and just make it like lighthearted and fun. And you know like it's not something I could ever do.
00:33:30
Speaker
I get too into things and then I stop having fun. But you're able to always take it so lighthearted and just have fun with it. And it cheer it brings us up to that level.
00:33:42
Speaker
And i want to share this story because thinking back on it later, oh my god, I almost cried right then and there. um But when we tell you or like challenge you to go out and give compliments to people from someone who just experienced the other side of that out of the blue...
00:34:04
Speaker
We're not doing it just to be funny. We're not doing it just to be like, you know, do good, be good person. It really makes a huge difference. I've been thinking about what she said to me all day and I've been smiling all day because of it.
00:34:20
Speaker
It's been. And again, this came out of nowhere. And it made my whole last night and into today. It makes such a huge difference to know that.
00:34:34
Speaker
you're appreciated, even in a small way. I try very hard to be the kind of person others want to be around. I always try to make sure that I'm not the one dragging the party down, that I'm the one lifting it up.
00:34:47
Speaker
And I like to think I got okay at it. you know i'm I'm not the biggest social butterfly, but I've tried very hard to ah kind of fake it till you make it. um And to hear out of the blue that it was acknowledged and that I'm doing a good job, man, it...
00:35:05
Speaker
Ooh, it hit they hit that spot. So seriously, go out and just compliment somebody you're close to or not close to. Just don't be creepy about it. Don't be weird about it. Just compliment each other. It makes so much of a difference.
00:35:19
Speaker
It really does. Yeah. I would say too. I know. it's No, that's it. um Thank you for saying that. Yeah. Because like, I think, yeah, it's, it's, I'm glad that you got to have that on the other side because like, I think that's like where sometimes people,
00:35:37
Speaker
like they don't recognize the power of it because maybe they don't get to feel it as often. um But I'm a compliment machine. Like I doesn't, but you're right. Like it's easier for me to put that out, but like, but something I've been trying to practice when I receive those things is to, is to acknowledge like,
00:35:55
Speaker
Thank you for saying that. I appreciate you saying that. That was very nice of you. Like that's another way to pay a compliment back is to acknowledge like that was big of you to say, thank you for saying that. i That really made my day.
00:36:07
Speaker
Like it's validating to make somebody keep doing it. So like, it's good that you got to feel that because like a lot of people don't get to, but again, to your point, that's why we should do it more.
00:36:18
Speaker
Right. Like, but make sure it's sincere. Right. But like, it doesn't have to be as in depth as like, you make my day better. You make me feel good. And this is the example. But sometimes if you're really feeling it and you're like, you know what, that person is probably the best part of my day when this happens because I'm just dragging.
00:36:33
Speaker
I should let them know. um Then you should. And if you're not very eloquent or maybe you're not good with words, write it down or just make it quick like we've been saying at the end of every episode. Just like you're just a really swell person. I just love being around you. Thank you.
00:36:45
Speaker
You know, it can be a quick and easy one like that. um I have actually one I can share real fast that happened at work just last week. Not not to me. um Not that I haven't gotten those, but I want to kind of flip it on the other side, which is there's a gal who works at the front desk.
00:37:03
Speaker
um She works at the food bank with me. Her name is Sonia. She is an absolutely delightful woman. um and ah she ah she always coordinates her hats with her outfits like she always I just do she's such a that's amazing I i love that she's such a stylish icon she has always usually they're like flat caps most of the time like some sort of style like that but she always has a hat on and she always coordinates it with her outfit and she always just like whether she's dressing casual or maybe a little extra like dolled up or something she's just always like color coordinated to the fucking tea dude and it's
00:37:39
Speaker
ah So freaking cool. Every time I walk in, I can't help a compliment what she's wearing because she just like she shows up. And the other day and I always tell her that. But the other day I leaned on the front desk because I was just killing little bit of time.
00:37:51
Speaker
And was like, hey, Sonia, I know I'm always like messing with you, but you're, you know, always talking about your clothes. I want you to know, like, I really like genuinely like. you know I was a dance teacher for almost 10 years. I had to really look at a color wheel every day to figure out how to best make my outfits look like I knew what I was doing.
00:38:07
Speaker
And it was a lot of mental gymnastics. And like I still kind of try to do that now. like and i was At the time, I was wearing a blue and yellow marathon shirt. And I wear my blue and orange shoes because I was like, well, these kind of go with this. And I try to color coordinate something.
00:38:20
Speaker
But she always just looks so professional, like even in the most casual clothes at the food bank, she just kills it. And I told her, I was like, was like, how do you like, you have a collection of hats? Like, or do you just rotate the same ones out? And I just don't notice.
00:38:34
Speaker
Like, how do you just like get into that? And so we were talking for a little while and just through her just being like, oh, this is where I get my hats or, you know, I've always just really liked clothes or I've always, you know.
00:38:45
Speaker
you know as ah As a young black woman, like I just really wanted people to see my style when I was in a school full of mostly white people. I just wanted to always see that like I knew what I was doing. But then she slipped that she has alopecia, which I actually didn't know.
00:38:58
Speaker
But I realized I've never seen her without a hat on. you know And so she was like, you know and I started doing it because I had alopecia and I was diagnosed very young. And like, I just wear these outfits because it made me feel confident and made me feel good about myself.
00:39:11
Speaker
And, you know, so I just I've always coordinated my clothes with my hats and my shoes and all these other things because it just makes me feel beautiful. And I was like, holy shit, I was not expecting to hear this today.
Building Community Through Fun at Work
00:39:22
Speaker
Like, but it was just a very quick, vulnerable moment that she just threw out there.
00:39:26
Speaker
And like, man, my extroverted brain was like on fire at that point. i was like, holy fuck. I just learned this like huge detail from this person when I was just trying to compliment their clothes and like, oh my God, like my brain was like the fucking energizer bunny.
00:39:40
Speaker
I want to ask so many more questions and give her the biggest hug, which I did. And, um, ah But like, again, like you may not always get that in depth of a conversation afterwards, but but but just that was another way that that manifested a really kind, vulnerable, you know, a moment that like, I don't think I'll forget anytime soon. Yeah. And Sonia always smiles at me when I walk in. She's always excited to see me. I'm always happy to talk to her.
00:40:08
Speaker
She's the face of the company. When you walk in, she's the first person that you see. And like, just, I'm just like, man, like you always look so good that you always give, make me feel like I got to step up my game. That's how the conversation started was that you always make me feel like I have to step up how I dress.
00:40:21
Speaker
And, you know, and I always try to like make sure that you are approve of my outfit. So like, and then it just kind of went from there. So like, you'd never know. So a couple of things can happen. You can have what happened with Danny where like, he's been really, i don't know if Sonya thought about that after that conversation, but I know I did.
00:40:37
Speaker
ah But in this case with Danny, you, you know, you've been talking about it. Like you've been thinking about it for all day and that whole night. And like, I really kind of elevated your mood and gave you those good dopamine feels and like, you know,
00:40:50
Speaker
That's what we want, right? Like that's how you can change the world. Because I tell everybody all the time, this world is made up of 7 billion little worlds and you can save and rescue or affect or change or and impact negatively or positively dozens, if not hundreds in a day, if you have a microphone and a really loud voice.
00:41:07
Speaker
But um so just think about that. So we're going to get back to it like it that's just another side of what that can look like. And so it's just like those vulnerable moments can come out sometimes and really make people feel good.
00:41:20
Speaker
And I think when we first started, i even said something along the line of like, you know, everybody wants to change the world, but you have to remember that each person is their own world. Right. And when you give a compliment, you are, you're changing the world for that one person for that one day. And what happened to Sonia and what happened to me is exactly what I was talking about. My world, my entire world, was changed for today.
00:41:51
Speaker
Because everything was a little bit brighter. It wasn't earth shattering change, but it was changed. Everything was a little bit nicer. Everything was a little brighter. Every time you know i got like tired or did chores or something, like I had that to look at and just kind of smile at.
00:42:06
Speaker
And... um Yeah, it changed the world for me for a day. And that's perfect. That's great. Yeah, that's enough. It's it's really it's sometimes it's just little things like if everybody does that, the world will change.
00:42:22
Speaker
Something we started doing at work. ah We had a theme park trip ah in July or early August. I can't remember. And all of the my work paid for everybody to go. And we all went to this place. It's called Kennywood.
00:42:34
Speaker
And me and a few other coworkers just kind of met up just accidentally. We didn't know was going to be there. And I was like, oh shit. So we're all hanging out, really bonded with a couple that I don't get to see very often because they work remotely.
00:42:46
Speaker
And we all work together to win this giant like bouncing tomato wearing sunglasses and has a big smile on his face. He's huge. And we won him on like the last I paid, we took turns paying for like 20 balls at a time. And it was really expensive, but we finally won this thing. that We probably get to order it online for cheaper, but the experience was fun.
00:43:04
Speaker
And then the one gal was like, you know what? We should send us to the food bank. Just like, take pictures with them around the office. So it started with like this fun little thing we were going to do. But then I got the idea to just leave them at people's desks when they weren't there and just like leave a little note that says, take a picture with me and then pass me on.
00:43:20
Speaker
And then it's, it's grown since then. Cause he's really been making it away. Eventually we named him Jerry tomato. And so like, so were like, Oh, ah my name's Jerry. I'm here for my learning experiences. I'm a new employee. And so we leave these little notes and shit.
00:43:32
Speaker
And now he's got clothes. He has like my boss recently, like, uh, clipped some gloves to him. Uh, one of the other, the safety guy put one of my beanie caps and one of my bolo ties on them. But when he was, when I wasn't at my desk, um,
00:43:45
Speaker
And he just got to go. My dream was to get him to go into one of the trucks on like deliveries. And he got to go out this morning. And our truck driver sent us all sorts of pictures of just she was having a blast with him, taking pictures with him like at agencies she dropped off at. She put him on the railroad tracks at one point. ah It was just these beautiful. I was like, oh, my God, I cannot believe how far this.
00:44:05
Speaker
Fucking tomato has made it around the food. But I thought for sure we'd hit a wall at some point. People like this is dumb. I don't want to do it. But he's picked up steam. One gal who hasn't seen him yet just saw the pictures we've been sharing on our SharePoint page and was like, hey, I made you a template to make him a name tag. And I printed it out and made him a name tag the other day.
00:44:24
Speaker
And so like people are trying to get involved in these fun little ways and take pictures with them. And we've just been amassing all these really fun photos and people have been adding their own little touches to what he looks like and what he's doing.
00:44:35
Speaker
And just these are like silly little things that just like I thought you can affect someone's day. Like I remember I left it in my on the other side of the cubicles. I can't see her, but her name's Kellyanne.
00:44:46
Speaker
And I left him at Kellyanne's desk the other day. And she comes in about a half hour, 45 minutes later than I do. And i she just started fucking cackling, dude. I could hear her. kid She was just cackling. And I knew right away. I was like, oh, she's clocked Jerry now.
00:45:00
Speaker
And she was cackling so much. And then she she finally came over to me and she goes, are we going do about Jerry? And i was like, what do you mean? She's like, well, I feel like I have to add more to him. He's wearing gloves. So he lost one of his gloves. i'm going to give him one of mine.
00:45:11
Speaker
And then she helped me make his name tag. And then she helped me get him on a truck with one of our truck drivers, which was like what I wanted. So anyway, just like these, these little things you can do if you're not a compliment person, like I get that that can be challenging.
00:45:23
Speaker
But there is ways to just like do these funny little silly gestures that just, again, people notice that they remember that. And like I am, I have been really a compliment to me without one being paid directly as I just like that feeling you've been having, Danny. I've been beaming about that all day. When I saw those pictures just this afternoon, Kellyanne put on our SharePoint page, all these pictures that our driver went out and took pictures with him and all these funny locations.
00:45:49
Speaker
was like, Holy fuck. She even made like a little slip that says he got his CDL. And I was like, Oh my God. and So happy that people are doing stupid shit like this with this fucking tomato ball.
00:46:00
Speaker
That's amazing. That's so amazing. It's so dumb, but people are just like leaning into it. And I've been like, I just felt myself walking down this really long stretch of the, um, warehouse, um,
00:46:13
Speaker
out to the front where I park and just catching my, my smile just happening inadvertently as I'm just walking. Cause I was just thinking like, that's so funny. That's so silly. I'm so happy. This like dumb little thing we did at Kennywood is now this, like they they just left them in the HR office this afternoon. So I'm curious what they'll do, but like,
00:46:33
Speaker
But I'm just like, I'm so happy. Like, oh, that the safety guy, when I left it at his desk, he came and got me and he let me take pictures with him on the scrubber and maintenance. We put him up on the high lift and he took a picture with him up on the high lift, like 20 feet up in the air.
00:46:47
Speaker
We took a picture of him in the fucking cooler. ah We wedged him up onto one of the pallets at one point. We were having a goddamn blast. And I was just like, I cannot believe. like ah he ba They put him on a forklift at once, and I made Charles like pretend like he was showing him how to use it.
00:47:02
Speaker
Man, it was so fun. It was like five minutes of our time, and it was an absolute blast. And just those little things like that, again, like just you infuse whimsy into these like situations that like – Maybe it's not a compliment, but it's like a fun thing or it's a silly joke, right? These things matter. So anyway, I'm just saying there's a lots of ways to infuse that good energy.
00:47:24
Speaker
And as long as you're consistent and you're sincere, people will pick up on it and they'll be delighted to see what you're going to do next or even participate and whatever shenanigans or modeling that you want to do. So, you know, yeah model that behavior. That's best way to show that people will do it.
00:47:39
Speaker
I'll send you some of the pictures, man. It's funny. It's so funny, dude. I've so, I've been like beaming. Cause my dream was to get him into a truck and we did get him into a truck that was stationary, that was left behind.
00:47:50
Speaker
Like that was and and ah under, um, they're under maintenance. So we just popped them up in there and took a picture with them in there, but they actually have them like out in the truck driving around. And I was like, Oh my God, that was my dream.
00:48:00
Speaker
Holy fuck. It's happening. This sounds like such a great bunch of people to work with. We have, we yeah. I mean, the the, the, the workplace isn't without its challenges like anywhere else, but like, I'm just so happy that people are game to just,
00:48:14
Speaker
Because it's hard. It's hard work working in nonprofit, especially with all the challenges coming from the administration and things. And like people are sad. They're worried. They're scared. You work with a lot of vulnerable populations.
00:48:25
Speaker
And like sometimes you just like these little things are just exactly the silly ass things that people need. And I think if I dropped it in a truck driver's office first, they'd have been like, fuck you. This is stupid.
00:48:37
Speaker
But like because we started with like the more kind of lively people who are a little bit more participatory in the silliness, and then we kind of worked our way around to the other areas where they're a little bit more maybe dry or maybe a little less excited at first.
00:48:51
Speaker
But when they see the pictures, they see how excited people get. They hear how giddy they get when it shows up at their desk. then people are just like, they ask questions. they want to get involved. And when it was sitting at Kellyanne's desk, a lot of truck drivers walked past her desk and they were like, oh, who's this guy?
00:49:05
Speaker
And then she was gleefully, gleefully Danny explaining who he was and what he was doing and what his dreams were. And I was just fucking cheesing over on the other side of the office. Like, oh my God, it's happening. That was amazing.
00:49:17
Speaker
And so, ah but again, like those conversations would have never happened had we not started this dumb little fucking thing. So it's just, there's a lot of ways to do some good in the world. If you don't think you can, again, there's dozens of worlds in my own fucking place of work that have been affected by this dumb ass sunglasses wearing tomato. Also, and we love you, Jerry.
00:49:39
Speaker
ah because you reminded me. Big shout-outs to our friend. He won me a shrimp ah stuffy at the mall. His name is Scampi, and I love him. So big shout-outs to you.
00:49:50
Speaker
Yeah, Scampi. I love Scampi. All right. I know we're pushing time, but I have one more thing I want to throw at you. that I just just so know, we've been we were pushing time a half hour ago. But yes, go ahead.
00:50:03
Speaker
I mean, we're pushing triple time. um ah So I, for some reason, felt compelled to go on to the I was today years old Reddit.
00:50:14
Speaker
Oh, OK. I don't know why, but I just started thinking, like, what are some things that people might have learned later in life that maybe I could pull from. ah Because sometimes like there's things that I learned where I'm like, man, I can't believe it took me this long to understand what that was. um But people learn things at different times, especially depending on where they come from.
00:50:33
Speaker
Yeah. like This is a really funny one. Huh? Like Riz is charisma. Exactly. So this one is one that I learned about last year that I honest to Christ did not think that had a differential anywhere.
00:50:48
Speaker
So the red red thread says I was today years old when I found out not everyone wipes in the same direction. And they say, I assumed everyone wiped from front to back because who the hell talks about how they wipe.
00:51:02
Speaker
But today I saw a short video of a dude saying this and I looked in the comments and apparently there were tons of people who actually wiped back to front and there are scores of comments. Oh my God.
00:51:14
Speaker
This is from two days ago from somebody named Yoel Amigo. And there are scores of responses about this, about how the unsanitary way to do it for women is back to front.
00:51:25
Speaker
um But like how most people, so then the discussion went to like some, what I learned was that people do it sitting down. I have never done that. I don't want to reach my hand into the toilet.
00:51:37
Speaker
um But apparently that's pretty normal for people to either reach back or reach underneath in their front. And I always stand up. Me too. I do more like kind of like I'm getting ready to like, like I'm a defensive lineman and football. post Right. I'm like kind of like, because you have to bend over to get the cheeks to spread.
00:51:53
Speaker
Exactly. Right. Or you use the cheek spreader 5000. Everybody has that. I have it. um And so the jaws of life. Yeah. the well Yeah. Yeah. Mine are the jaws of anti life.
00:52:06
Speaker
And but anyway, so I was just curious if you're comfortable to talk about that, Danny, you don't have to tell me how you wipe exactly. Mom and the episode here. But did you know my question for you is.
00:52:18
Speaker
Have you always known that people did more than what you do? So like, because I only just learned this last year that like people sat down. was like, what?
00:52:29
Speaker
You stay seated. I have no idea. I have tried it sitting down and it works, but I didn't like it as much. ah However, I am the bridge. between the front-to-backers and the back-to-fronters. I do it they do it both ways.
00:52:44
Speaker
um Because when it comes to cleaning my butthole, I believe the best way to do it is to attack that bitch at all angles. um So I will absolutely do front-to-back a bunch.
00:52:55
Speaker
But then just to make sure I got everything, I will do a few front to back and sometimes or back to front. Sorry. And sometimes you'd be surprised what you find. And then I go back the other way and I keep doing that until I'm clean.
00:53:10
Speaker
You need a bidet, sir. i do. And my wife doesn't want to get one. Well, she doesn't have to use it. You can turn it on when you want to use it. I know. The problem is I have a monkey butt.
00:53:21
Speaker
I have a really hairy ass. So like it gets all up in there. dan have to go at it. from like Can I interrupt you just to say that? love that your nickname should be The Bridge.
00:53:35
Speaker
Danny, The Bridge Guarantee is so fucking funny to me. I'm the bridge between the wipers. I don't know why. I told her to end the episode already.
00:53:49
Speaker
Oh my god. Umbeluga just came in and she's like, you know your mom listens to this. I was like, I just told her, end the episode here. I gave warning. Tell Umbeluga you are the bridge.
00:54:01
Speaker
ah Oh, speaking of of my mother, she was telling me she just came to visit and we had dinner and she was telling me that ah she was getting so embarrassed on the plane and because she had on headphones with our episode on it and she was laughing out loud.
00:54:17
Speaker
good. I was like, you know what? That's great. Actually, she didn't say she was embarrassed, but I could tell. I'm glad you were cackling about it. um I apologize. She said it was so funny. She was laughing out loud.
00:54:31
Speaker
Yeah. This one won't be as funny until you get to this point, but still. ah You better have hit that button, mother. You better have said, you know what? I'm done. Your mom likes my voice too much. She's going to listen because I'm still talking.
00:54:43
Speaker
Oh, is that so? Yeah, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that, i'm and and this isn't me trying to be gross. I'm just saying, I've been told that I have a really, really good radio voice.
00:54:55
Speaker
And so I just think that Your mom is a fan. She's a fan of you because she wants to support her son, but she sticks around even for the uncomfortable stuff because I'm here. So you think she tunes in for me, but stays for you?
00:55:06
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. I see. I am the bridge between me and your mom. When when we were at dinner, I told her.
00:55:18
Speaker
ah that we were going to be doing TOQ right after dinner, but we we ended up pushing it to tonight. Right. um But she was like, oh, maybe I should come and be on the episode. And i was like, don't. i was like, don't joke about that, because Adam will want you on the
Engaging the Audience for Podcast Growth
00:55:34
Speaker
episode.
00:55:35
Speaker
He does want that. And she was like, oh, yeah, no, never mind. What? Terry, please call in. Terry. Terry, please, Terry, please. We'll just put it behind a day. Well, firm it is. I it is T.E.R.R.I.
00:55:50
Speaker
And she had a big laugh about the fact that I couldn't remember what it is. Yeah, because T.E.R.R.Y. is usually the male dude. Yeah. um So, ah yeah, ah Terry, we can put it behind a paywall. If you don't want it to be public for everybody, we can put it behind a paywall. If you want to do an episode, we'll put it on our Ko-Fi and people will have to pay to listen to it. Just think about it.
00:56:11
Speaker
um but Anyway, back to wiping. That was a great analysis, Daniel. Uh, and I appreciate that. You're veryre welcome. Yeah. I'm just wanting to say, i didn't realize there was such a dichotomy of, there's so many people in this, in this thread that are just like, I didn't know that either. Like I'm learning this like two days ago, tons of responses. Um, um,
00:56:34
Speaker
about like what the right way to do it. Uh, bidet users are being very hoity toity left to right, up and down, upside down, middle and out little circles, yeah little circles.
00:56:47
Speaker
For me, the best way that I feel good is just, I try to save my poops for right before I hop in the shower. I might've said that. all Oh, there you go. That's a good idea. Yeah, that way, and then I just i just take the ah dude that removable shower head, just angle it a certain way, and just fire away with my own bidet style, you know?
00:57:03
Speaker
There is nothing worse than having to poop while you're in the shower, and then you have to come out, poop, and you have to, like, wipe with a wet ass. ah Why would you wipe with a wet ass? Just get back in the shower.
00:57:17
Speaker
Well, because I'm done with the shower. No, you're not, because you just got dirty. Get back in the shower. Yeah. are you talking about? Luckily, this hasn't happened in a while. You just got out of shower, you're dirty, get back in and just clean your asshole real quick. I really should just do that. You silly sausage, what are you doing? I know, I'm so silly. I'm sorry. Just get back there. I'm sorry, I was pooping wrong.
00:57:37
Speaker
You know, I feel like only in this show can we go from serious subjects like mental health and and the resources and support networks to hop in the shower to spray your asshole, you know?
00:57:49
Speaker
And yet, nobody will find that out of Left Field. They'll be like, yeah, no, that's Damien and Adam. That's not about right. If this is your first episode, maybe, but... i mean If this is your first episode, welcome. Here's more of this. It's a heavy one, baby.
00:58:04
Speaker
um All right, so let's wrap this up. um I just want to put a focus real quick. I know we talk a lot about our questions, but and you know how to do that on FundusEllarsNetwork.biz, but I would also like to ask you questions.
00:58:20
Speaker
to, if you would, go on to the appropriate sites that you or apps that you listen to your shows that you're on right now. And please leave comments on them or review the episodes individually.
00:58:32
Speaker
There's a there's a resource called Podchaser where you can review individual episodes. But you can also leave comments on individual episodes on the apps themselves, such as Spotify and Apple, which really help with kind of spreading the, ah no matter how good our tags are going to be, podcasts are so saturated right now that the SEO is really hard unless you're doing like long form keywords in your metadata.
00:58:55
Speaker
And just, we don't have that kind of impact yet. So the best way for us to kind of break in and have our metadata do its work is to have people interact with the show. So if you could, and Instead of submitting, and well, in addition to submitting questions, because we still would like to get some more. Thank you, Dixon.
00:59:11
Speaker
But please, if you haven't already, go back to episodes you've listened to when you when you're not driving, of course, or when you're in a safe space. Leave a little comment about what you liked about it or what you want to see. You can submit questions right on there if you like. I'll go read them.
00:59:24
Speaker
Um, you know, uh, so please do that because I'd love to kind of, kind of break into some new areas for the, um, how the networking works, uh, on podcasting, especially because it's very saturated.
00:59:36
Speaker
So please do that. Uh, it would really mean a lot to us. Um, I'm trying to come up with a, a way to reward people for that eventually. So, um, Just a little side note, I paid off my car recently, so now I'm going to have some extra money in my pocket for the next couple of whiles because I decided not to re-up my lease.
00:59:52
Speaker
So I'm going to put some of that money into my debts, but I'm also going to split some of it and put it away alongside the other money we've been saving for the show and for the network. So hopefully you'll be seeing some more of that, and I'd love to reward our listeners for doing that. So for right now...
01:00:05
Speaker
Just to kind of build that momentum, please leave comments on our episodes. If you can go on to Podchase or do the same thing, at least rate the show. We only have seven ratings on the show right now and it's five stars, which is great, but I'd love to see that double.
01:00:17
Speaker
I mean, you know, we we definitely have the numbers that show more than seven people listen to the show. So if you wouldn't mind, please do that too. Terry, even if it's not a five star review, leave it because, you know, we could use the criticism. We'll evolve the show. Yeah.
01:00:31
Speaker
However is needed. We don't want to just hear. you know, uh, all interaction is good for, as far as like, we don't, we don't want just fake platitudes. Give, give us actual, like, if you have something you don't like about the show, tell us that's fine. We will, you know, uh, the only thing I won't budge on is the gross out stuff. Uh,
01:00:52
Speaker
is the li Like gross out stuff, like talking about wiping our asses. That's not gross. That's sanitary. That's health. We were just talking about mental health, physical health. It's the opposite gross. Yeah, it's health. It's healthy. Sometimes health seems gross, but that's because our body is filled with a bunch of squishy little bits, and they can be a little gross sometimes.
01:01:11
Speaker
But they're important. If you didn't have them, guess what? You couldn't listen to our show. So deal with it. Wash your ass, because there are people out there who think that wiping your ass is gay, and it isn't. Or if it is getting extra gay and get in there and clean your ass because it's sanitary. God damn it.
01:01:26
Speaker
um Quit it. Just quit being dumb. Do that. Go wipe your ass. um But anyway, outside of that, I just want to please highlight leaving reviews or leaving comments, especially again, if you want to affect two people in a really sweet way,
01:01:42
Speaker
I know that every time Danny sees a question from somebody, he gets really excited. i get excited. I know for me, especially if I started seeing comments on our episodes, that would really make me feel good. So if you're unsure about how to interact with anybody else with the challenges that we give you, I challenge you to leave a comment regardless of what it is.
01:02:00
Speaker
And I promise you, even just seeing it's going to turn on all sorts of fun little things chemical induced lights in my brain. So. Oh yeah, absolutely. We had that one question. We didn't know who it was from. So it could have been like, and you know, ah just a random listener, not a friend.
01:02:15
Speaker
And i squealed like a little girl. I was honestly so excited for it. That really did happen. was like, oh my God. He did. I was so happy. Yeah. That was how our conversation started when he got on the call. Yeah. was like, my God, we actually did it.
01:02:30
Speaker
So yeah, that's another way you can affect a couple of people who are hoping one day that maybe this can go from just a fun thing they do on a random night to like, maybe this can be something that helps support our life. And that's how we do it. And again, like I was saying at the top of the show,
01:02:44
Speaker
I just want to be better about asking for help. And that's the kind of help that I need and that Danny needs for the show to take it to the next level as we need more interaction with ah stuff that like the networks can see, which is your Spotify, your iTunes, your Apple's, your whatever, your, your pod. ah What's that other one?
01:03:02
Speaker
don't know Stitcher is still a thing anymore, but like all, whatever those are like, We need to have that interaction. So yeah if you could, it would mean the world hate bring up boring business side of it, but it is important.
01:03:13
Speaker
It is important. And i again, we have to practice what we preach and practice before we preach. And I just preached, so I'm practicing. Listen, we want help. We need help, and we'd love to have it. So if you're out there and you're listening, please take a moment when this episode wraps or pause it right now.
01:03:28
Speaker
leave a comment on the episode. or And please, when you have time, if you have a few moments, please go back to other episodes that really left an impact on you and say a why, not just on our website, but on the show itself, because people will see it and it could inspire others to listen.
01:03:42
Speaker
And also of the Spotify gods and the iTunes gods will see that and push that in front of more people to potentially grow our audience. So we'd love to have you be involved in that coalition of support that we need to push our show to the next level. So thank you for listening and thank you for your support. We appreciate it.
01:04:00
Speaker
Well, he said, Danny off to you, but he said, that's all you want to say. it's a dream control. I love you all. Okay. Bye. I challenge you your ass.
01:04:11
Speaker
wipe your ass I challenge you to wipe your ass the opposite way you normally would. Oh, shit. Yeah. Let chaos reign.
01:04:23
Speaker
Gross.