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Soft Alpha Bois With Hotdogs
12 Plays16 days ago
Today we discuss a wild question about infidelity, male pregnancy, and maybe a polycule... and babies eating hotdogs. Atom also takes an "Alpha" test.
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Transcript
Introductions and House Troubles
00:00:00
Speaker
Action. Good morning, afternoon. Good morning, good afternoon and good No, I'm doing it. who Oh, good morning, good afternoon and good evening. Okay. Oh, no, go ahead.
00:00:11
Speaker
i don't want to take this from you. Anyway, my name is Adam and I'm here with Danny Garren's tea. Coming to you live from the living room today. Yeah, you live from the living room, and I'm coming to you live from my new house. Now, I didn't buy it. I'm renting the house, so i didn't purchase, which honestly is pretty good, because i'm I'm glad that I didn't buy it, because there's still stuff needs fixed up with it.
00:00:35
Speaker
But... All good. Lots of stories to
Catching Up and Weather Discussion
00:00:39
Speaker
tell about that. Maybe we'll get into it later or in another episode. But I'm happy to be finally online. It's been a few days without water.
00:00:47
Speaker
um Had a few outlet issues that I had to resolve. Some wiring issues. But we're here. We're here now. Danny, I feel like it's been a hot minute. We only got to get on a call for the first time, like, what?
00:01:01
Speaker
Two days ago? um so Tell everybody how you're doing. How's it how' how was it going? Speaking of water. I just took a sip of water from my water bottle that I had just washed.
00:01:15
Speaker
Didn't wash that out enough. What was in it? Soap. Oh, nice. o was it Was it good? No, no. Oh, sorry. Other than that, though, everything's going pretty well.
00:01:31
Speaker
We've been getting ready because there's a I'm sure most people know there's like this huge storm blowing across America, some. Torrential snowstorm thing, so.
00:01:44
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. We've been getting ready for that. Yeah, it's going to be going to be nuts. in Checking the generator, checking the snowblower.
00:01:56
Speaker
checking all the, you know, the heat and everything. And they're estimating between nine inches and then 12 inches over here.
00:02:05
Speaker
i think we were somewhere from like six inches to a foot and a half or something like that. Yeah, I heard 15 inches and a few parts. i don't know if if my area will get that or not, although we just moved up on a really big hill.
00:02:17
Speaker
ah Like it's I can see it's not exactly a mountain, but it's like quite a height. Like every road you take is still a continuous climb up this road. or up for him So I imagine it's going to be a little colder, a little heavier snow cause it's going to hit us first.
00:02:30
Speaker
um But when it rains, it's all going to slide downhill, baby. So least we'll have that. was going say, it's good when it melts or when it rains. So no floods.
00:02:42
Speaker
but Yeah, so I don't I don't know, but they're estimating at at least nine to twelve, if
Weather Humor and Banter
00:02:47
Speaker
not more. And poor the folks up in Erie. I don't know what's going to happen to them with that lake effect. But boy, how do they are getting fucking crushed? you Give me a quick just a simple conversion into my dicks, please.
00:02:59
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I'd say, wait, how many, how many medics of snow are they going to get? Yeah. Well, how many are you expecting? You said nine to, would you say nine like 12 inches? It was nine to 12 inches. That's probably, actually that's but that's barely a medic because medics are close to like a meter in size.
00:03:16
Speaker
So I'd say it's not it's not even a medic really. forever don't say If you're listening, don't take this as gospel. You know, this is just quick mental math we're doing. Yeah, it's just, I think, I think it's about a third of my dick of a midday. Okay. About a third of them a midday. Okay. No, that's good. Yeah.
00:03:34
Speaker
This form of measurement brought to you by Mbeluga. She will never get old. It's like always funny. It caught on so fast when I told other online friends to say it like immediately. predicts like Immediately. um Okay. Well, I have a question for us, Danny. Um,
00:03:55
Speaker
Yes, I hear you're excited for this question. So I'm excited for you. So I did a little Googling around like a few minutes before we started recording. So I was just like trying to follow the lead. I know we're trying to do some more like ah Reddit stories and stuff like that.
Exploring 'Am I the Angel' Subreddit
00:04:09
Speaker
um And we haven't gotten any new questions on the website in a while. So I started kind of digging around and I found like a like a a satire version of Am I the Asshole called Am I the Angel?
00:04:22
Speaker
OK. And it's very much, there's a lot of them that just show, am I the asshole posts that they ask like the same question, but they answer it differently or they assume it's fake or they satirize it in some way. And some people just put like, am I the asshole style questions on here, but there's still clearly, you know,
00:04:40
Speaker
Again, it's satire. There's the people looking for validation that are like, was I the asshole in taking in this homeless guy for no reason and like giving him a shower and all this stuff? And then he left without saying thank you. Well, wait until you hear this one that I just found. okay ah So this one is from, i don't even know how to pronounce this, but I'm going to say it's...
00:05:04
Speaker
Ogwinner 76. And they have like a little tag next to our name. says the chicken was a sign he cared about me. um Anyway, they ask and it's under the shitpost tag. Always a good sign. Am I the asshole? oh Actually, hang on. I just realized that my ah microphone um application isn't running. So I think I'll sound a lot better here in a second. Sorry for the quality difference.
00:05:30
Speaker
Oh, hey. Do I sound better now? I'd be the one. It's done the same to me. Ah, so now and that should be better. Sorry about that, everyone. Just realized app wasn't running. tonight That should sound better. Okay. Anyway, this is this says, I'm devastated. My 28 female husband, 30 male, and I have a 0.5 male child together, and I thought he was the love of my life.
00:06:00
Speaker
When I met him, he liked hockey, drinking beer, video games, football, and picking fights at bars after getting drunk, so I thought he was just a regular guy. But he swore to me that he was the alpha of his friend group. Not that I cared that much.
00:06:13
Speaker
Yesterday, while I was feeding our son a hot ah dog... A hot dog? Oh, my God. The meaning of fucking five months old hot dog. Well, it says point five. So I'm guessing he's six months old, six months old. That month makes a huge difference.
00:06:30
Speaker
It's so funny. that you get ah um Yesterday, while I was feeding our our son a hot dog, he came home visibly distressed. I asked what happened and he suddenly went quiet. Then after starting to sob, he finally confessed that he was pregnant.
00:06:49
Speaker
My face drained of color. you know but My face drained of color as he explained that a few months ago, he and his best friend Ryan, 29 year old male, got drunk at a work party and accidentally had a second night stand. They had already had a one night stand in college.
00:07:08
Speaker
My husband ended up pregnant because he is not actually an alpha, but an omega. As the hot dog hit the floor, I started screaming at him that I couldn't believe he could cheat on me while I was at home taking care of our baby and that wanted a divorce.
00:07:23
Speaker
Then I stormed out of the house with our crying child in my in my arms. Now we're at my best friend, 32 female house, Julie, and she kindly got my things for me.
00:07:34
Speaker
Julie has been my shoulder to cry on for the past day, and I realized that the kiss we shared while drunk was more profound than I initially thought. Now we're planning to get married next month. The problem is... The problem... The problem is that my soon-to-be ex-husband told everyone what happened, and his friends are now messaging me saying, this is actually a great opportunity to have another child without stressing my body with another pregnancy. That men have needs, and I should be glad Ryan was taking care of... ah from Ryan is taking care of my husband while I was recovering.
00:08:08
Speaker
So am I the asshole? So in short... Alpha husband turns out to be an Omega husband because he got pregnant by his friend Ryan from college after a second night stand. And the poster, and the the original poster is staying with their friend Julie, who they had a profound kiss at while drunk. And now they're planning on getting married. But all the friends are saying,
00:08:35
Speaker
Hey, you're soon to be ex-husband. You should be happy that he's pregnant with someone else's child. So your body doesn't have to take on the stress because if you got pregnant, it would be you. So now they're like, am I the asshole? Because I hadn't considered these things. And now I'm thinking about marrying Julie next month.
Story Analysis and Polycule Jokes
00:08:50
Speaker
So. Right. Well, also any help these people out. Big thing. You're forgetting something very important. Uh, learned all of this while she was feeding the six month old the hot dog, which let's be real. It's a hot dog. It's kind of gay for the, you know, that kid ain't going to be no alpha. That's all I'm saying.
00:09:11
Speaker
Right. Hmm. Wow. That's a lot to unpack. It's a lot to unpack. Yeah, you're right. And the hot dog thing is a whole other situation. Not because it's dangerous for the baby to get pre to to choke, but because the baby might turn out gay.
00:09:28
Speaker
yeah And we have to consider... we can't make that's actually If the baby chokes, that's actually the better outcome. you know At least it can go with honor. um um Jesus Christ, we're kidding.
00:09:44
Speaker
I'm not kidding. You should... Yo, America is making babies gay by eating them hot dogs when they're too young. um And read banned books. Hey, damn, not my America.
00:09:58
Speaker
So, ah what do we what do we think here, Dan? My first question is, what the fuck is the difference between an Alpha and an Omega? Is an Omega just, like, the biggest bitch?
00:10:13
Speaker
I don't know, but that's like hers that's the last letter in the Greek alphabet. So I would assume Omega male is like the bottom of the bottom.
00:10:24
Speaker
OK. Yeah. That makes sense to me. OK, so if that's the case, I think. That. I think they're OK if the.
00:10:38
Speaker
Two husbands want to go off and the two wives want to go off. I think that's actually for the best. I think they should do that. But because raising a child ah to be a good, straight, cisgendered male, it takes a village, right? So I think they should all just kind of form a polycule together. Oh, a polycule.
00:10:59
Speaker
Yeah, like... That's my favorite Pokemon. So the kid can say, oh, I have two moms and two dads, and everybody will assume it's a man-woman-man-woman situation, but no. Ah. Man, man, woman, woman.
00:11:10
Speaker
Man, man. That's the straightest way to begin.
Personality Types: Alpha, Beta, Omega
00:11:15
Speaker
it Oh, man, man, woman, and a woman. You're going to be man, man, all man woman, woman.
00:11:24
Speaker
Found the title of my episode. actually You know, did I tell you we went to visit some friends of ours and one of them had like this test to see if you were a beta, an alpha or whatever.
00:11:42
Speaker
What? And we all decided to take it.
00:11:46
Speaker
Did I tell you about this? No, no. my God. Okay. So we have one friend who was on the show once. She might get really mad at me for saying this, but I'm going to say it anyway.
00:11:59
Speaker
Who was going like, uh, actually here, I'll, for the sake of amenity, uh, her name begins with a K and Adam, I'm sure you know who it is. Christmas.
00:12:11
Speaker
Yep, it was Christmas. was um It was old. She was saying like, oh, I'm definitely an alpha. I'm definitely going to be an alpha, you know. so she takes the test and she gets aggressive Omega.
00:12:26
Speaker
Whoa. She starts reading it. And the very first thing it says, she goes, that's bullshit. I'm an alpha. Well, let's read it. Aggressive Omegas are think that they're Alphas and will probably call this out as being bullshit and saying they're Alpha.
00:12:49
Speaker
Honestly, i love that because like. ah i mean, that's like such a commentary on how a lot of people see themselves when like there's nothing alpha about them. It's just that they're loud and that they're like, I'm not saying this particular person is like that, but I'm like, just because you get angry and you get rageful, like, you know, but if like, again, alpha is not really a real thing in human society. But like, you know, I think I think that this test actually was on to something because.
00:13:16
Speaker
It called her out perfectly, right? She did exactly what the first sentence said she was going to do. Beluga got Needy Beta, which... Yeah. too Needy?
00:13:29
Speaker
Needy, yeah. a Needy Beta. either And I got Soft Alpha. Okay, I want find something
Live Personality Test Adventure
00:13:39
Speaker
out. No, you're not allowed to leave. No, this is my podcast. Get out. Welcome to the show.
00:13:45
Speaker
No, no, I'm pretty sure it was normal for you. if she if she wants to come and explain herself, try to get closer. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is an alpha area and no beta. I mean, I just laugh farted. Did that pick up on the mic?
00:14:05
Speaker
and We would love it if you sat here the whole time. yeah we want you in an episode. and We want you to come and do that so time.
00:14:13
Speaker
I'm leaving this all Are we doing the episode? Come here, my little beta. You little needy beta. Come here, my little needy beta bitch. It's the alpha.
00:14:27
Speaker
It didn't have that word in it. It was just soft alpha. nice Oh my goodness. Not talk to your alpha husband like this. yeah if you're going If you're going to, step closer so we can hear you better.
00:14:40
Speaker
thank you Adam says if you're going to talk to me like this, you have to do it closer so we can hear you. You
00:14:48
Speaker
Say, I want to get this delicious content. Do you want to tell the people what was wrong with yours? It was, I actually think I might still have it pulled up. It was only half accurate, because I will admit I'm very needy. I'm not going to do that.
00:15:07
Speaker
That's good. You can't argue that one. you can't argue that one. I know, especially when I'm sick. I'm like the needy person. Oh, she's not picking up anymore. Yeah, we're we're pulling it up so that we can get it. Okay.
00:15:22
Speaker
It was said stuff about wanting to be like, like, pretty much being a tryhard in school and whatnot and wanting to like be the best or to stop. Are you saying you didn't try in school?
00:15:37
Speaker
Yeah. You failure. never studied. The one time I studied, I failed a test.
00:15:45
Speaker
One time I studied it. overthought
00:15:50
Speaker
but all right all Alright, so you're needy. And a beta. so Results are accurate. The description was only half accurate. You have to admit it. Nailed K, though.
00:16:03
Speaker
It nailed her, yeah. got there Bend her over, it nailed her. such Yeah, sorry, her name is actually Bendover, so... Make sure she listens to this episode, too. ive even said before, I was like, I think she's gonna get mad at me, but it's worth it.
00:16:23
Speaker
missed her telling her that you were talking about this. Well, what's she gonna do? She's just an aggressive Omega. Yeah, she's a little Omega. so soft
00:16:36
Speaker
You leave my soft alpha alone. We all know that I'm not- Yeah, you, Adam says, leave my soft alpha alone. The hard alpha says so. Yeah, well, I think i think Adam's gonna take it live on TOQ. Oh, you should.
00:16:50
Speaker
I'll do it if you- do that Oh, I'll take it live for everyone to hear. still have it, you said? you just resend it to me? just closed out a bit because it wasn't- Oh my goodness. Am I gonna learn that I'm a little beta bitch on- a i i don't point it and i'm in the middle I don't even want to be an alpha. I hope that's not my score. You hope you're not an alpha yeah i feel like that's an alpha? I feel like that's a failed score if you get an alpha.
00:17:15
Speaker
No. But I'm a soft alpha. My whole thing was about wanting to protect my friends. well that's Well, that's different. like I guess if I got... That might be like a better score, but I don't know what's above soft alpha. but Hard alpha? Yeah, I have no idea.
00:17:31
Speaker
Firm alpha. A firm alpha male. You know what? Yeah. If I was firm, I'd probably be fine with it. Anything above that, I don't want don want to be.
00:17:43
Speaker
Well, all right. Well, we find this test for you. Why don't you give your your indication or your answer? I'll send it directly to of him. OK. OK.
00:17:55
Speaker
and i'm like re I'm updating the title of this episode to like, firm alpha man man. I don't know. Firm alpha man man woman woman. Firm alpha. it's good Man, our titles are just getting longer and longer as the new year starts. Do agree, honey, since you're here, do you agree that a child saying that they have two mothers and two dads you assume would be man woman man woman, but it's actually man man woman woman is actually the straightest way to be gay?
00:18:27
Speaker
Me neither. Yeah. Well, I think see Beluga, you're practically on the show already. You might as well just come and do an episode. I know. Just come over. Just come over to the dark side. Needy beta about it.
00:18:41
Speaker
God, what other accommodations we have to do for this person? Jeez Louise. Okay. You're on the show, but not really being on the show. You're like half of this episode now. You might as well just come here.
00:18:55
Speaker
Oh, my goodness. That's so funny. Oh, she sent it over. Oh, yeah. He's got it. Oh, I have it. It says accurate Omegaverse quiz. 100% guarantee.
00:19:07
Speaker
Yep. have Accurate Omegaverse quiz. 100% Danny guarantee. So if I just click this, it'll go, it'll go one of the, like, so right now the first question is what's your ideal partner? Do I just click that and it'll go next? Click the answer and it'll give you the next question. I only get to pick one, but there's so many that I like. Just make sure you do not hit the back button.
00:19:30
Speaker
My ideal partner, but there's like 14 choices. Oh, that's true. It is, it is like 40 questions. Oh, man, I'll go through it quick. I'll go through it quick. He'll go through it quick, he said. All right. We can always edit out at that time, too. My answers for this particular question, though, before we get to it.
00:19:47
Speaker
is um I think they should just keep things as it is, man. I think that the two guys should just raise the child because it's their kid. And I think that the two gals should just get married because getting married shortly after a a passionate drunken kiss is the best way to ensure that you like have a good life together while the passion is still strong.
00:20:10
Speaker
There's definitely real connection there. Yeah. For sure. And she said it's her best friend. So like, it's not like they're strangers. Right. So they already know that'd be like you and me having a drunken kiss. Cause I clearly drink and you know, and being like, Hey, you know, and you're like, I'm leaving my wife and I'd be like, good. Yeah. I can't, I can't imagine it at all because you don't drink.
00:20:32
Speaker
Right. Very much be sober for our passionate kids. We would have exactly. So that, that would be even more, you know inviting for us to do. Yeah, because there's no blind... Actually, it wouldn't be as honest because nothing brings honesty out like drinking.
00:20:47
Speaker
That's true. You should be drunk always. One of us should be faking the passion. Yeah, one of us should be drunk. and i love i love these episodes where we just give out like the most the worst shit.
00:21:02
Speaker
Be drunk always. Man, man, woman, woman, straight parents. Oh, my God. ah But yeah, they should just keep things the way they are. Sounds like the proper dominoes fell into place.
00:21:13
Speaker
um And tell all of his friends and your friends that you share to just be supportive if they really care about you. So you're saying no to the polycule. I don't think they should have a polycule because like, I think that implies that like Ryan and Julie also have to kind of have something going on or they have to exist in the same kind of relationship, even if they're not really hooking up. And like, I don't know. I feel like that puts pressure on them. There's nothing that indicates that they're tight in any way. So I think it should just be, you know, if they all want to live in the same house, maybe get a duplex that way they can, you know, we'll trade babies, you know, rude. I don't,
00:21:54
Speaker
Why is that rude? No prude. You're a prude. I'm a prude. Yeah. Why? have their polycule. but But what I'm saying is what if they don't want one?
00:22:04
Speaker
Oh my God. No, you have to be in one or you're a prude. Oh, well then I guess we're prudes, but I just think, you know, but they can swap babies and hot dog recipes that way. Like, you know, that's a good idea. If they can swap the babies, that's fine.
00:22:18
Speaker
Yeah. They're only going to be like maybe like a year apart by the time the baby's born. That makes perfect sense. But everybody knows that women can, you know, increase how soon their pregnancy happens so they can be done with it because we all understand how women's bodies work. So men can definitely do it if, you know, because they're better than women, right? So like if a woman can make herself have a baby in eight to nine months, a guy can squeeze one out in probably like three.
00:22:45
Speaker
Couple weeks. Yeah, a couple weeks maybe if like he's, you know. Couple weeks, yeah. Look, I've taken craps before. I understand what it's like to give birth. Exactly. it's It's the same thing. is If you pass the kidney stone, it's practically the same thing. yeah so um So, yeah, I think they should just kind of keep things way they are and swap babies and hot dog recipes and then just call it a, you know, call it a situation. Maybe they can do kind of like a, um you know, like a child arrangement where it's like one week on, one week off kind of deal.
00:23:18
Speaker
Yeah, like said, the baby still gets two moms, two dads. Sure. And it's it's the straightest gay way to do this. You're right. The straightest gay way to be in this whole situation is to do that. Like, yeah.
00:23:34
Speaker
Two moms, two dads, all hot dogs. Same amount of moms and dads. Yeah. Still one to one. Yeah, it's good. It's fine. Two moms, two dads, all wieners.
00:23:46
Speaker
you guys Oh, it's a ship post. it's yeah It's... She's back. I'll send it to her so she can read it. He's gonna send... Saddam's gonna send it to you so you can read it. It's it's under the Am I the Angel post. So...
00:24:04
Speaker
so Enjoy, honey. Yeah, it's quite a story. Oh, my God. I love it. Whoever whoever you are behind this screen name, what a beautifully written piece. Holy shit.
00:24:16
Speaker
So funny. gone fab beta She's she's back. Do you want me to take a test? I can try to cram through it real quick if you think it'd be entertaining.
00:24:27
Speaker
ah Yeah, go ahead. I mean, like I said, we can always edit out any dead air if like. yeah Yeah, the only thing that'll slow it down is that I'll have to read all the choices, but I'm just going to read like a few that I'm looking at. causes So the first question is, this is to find out what kind of... ah What am I? Good luck if you want to read all the questions out loud.
00:24:45
Speaker
It says, what's your ideal partner? And there's a few in here. I love cuddly partners. I love tender partners. I love independent. I'm going to... independent? You know what? Funny. You know might be good way to do this?
00:25:00
Speaker
Huh? Actually? You know, it might be a ah good way to do this. What? I'm going to sit here and follow along with you by selecting the answers you do. So I can read you the question and stuff.
00:25:12
Speaker
You know, it's not just you like reading to yourself half the time. Yeah. You know what That's fair. I do want this to be conversational. um So, yeah. So it says, what's your ideal partner? They go from anywhere from like cuddly to submissive, motherly, obedient, easily flustered. I'm like torn between independent and funny because like I like both of those things. I want someone who's funny, but also I think that I love that they just want to go do their own fucking thing and they don't have to be attached to me all the goddamn time.
00:25:40
Speaker
Um, I think, I think funny has to be it. I've man. Funny is such a big deal. I'm going say funny. That's funny. right. So question number two, where would you go on your first date?
00:25:52
Speaker
Clubbing their house, a picnic date, a nighttime hike, aquarium zoo, my house, movies and dinner or bowling. A first date. Those are my only, that's all you get only options. Uh,
00:26:11
Speaker
Definitely. You know what? I have had first dates at someone's house. I did have a first date at a woman's house because she doesn't leave her home much because she has ah a autoimmune disease. So our first date was at her house. So there you go. um But ideally, not a nighttime hike. That sounds awful.
00:26:30
Speaker
um Movies and dinners kind of you doing a picnic date, though. Yeah, I would probably either do that or like an aquarium, zoo, bowling, maybe. um Picnic day is probably the closest thing to something I would do. so that's what I'm going to pick.
00:26:46
Speaker
OK, I'm sorry. You said their house? No, I said a picnic day. Sorry, Beluga was telling me what her answer is for one of the future questions, because it's going to be ask your friends to do stuff. All right Anyway, I see.
00:27:03
Speaker
You're doing a Kahoot with a group and your partner. Do you let them win? I don't see why not. I'm doing a Kahoot? I will. yeah You're playing board games. Okay. if If it makes them happy, I will.
00:27:17
Speaker
Them winning is disrespectful to me. Absolutely, I'd let them win. I'm an idiot. They'd win anyway. No. I will kick their ass into next Tuesday if they win.
00:27:30
Speaker
Okay, let me ask you when you did this, Danny. Did you do this sincerely or were you just kind of... I did this sincerely. Okay. And no, I didn't say them winning is disrespectful to me.
00:27:42
Speaker
I going say, that's the only way I can see somebody getting like a hard alpha. It's just like, ra yeah you know, like... Yeah, well, I didn't. I got soft alpha. Thank you. but Do I let them win? Like, don't go into like I don't play board games like in group nights to win. Like, I just happy to have my friends over. So like, I don't care most of the time if I'm losing, but like, I'm not going to let somebody win either. um Like, ah yeah, I just what I'll just be playing the game.
00:28:09
Speaker
um I'm just going to say, do I let I'm just going to say no. Like, I just it's nothing more than just no. i just we're playing. So I remember my answer. I said, if it makes them happy, I will.
00:28:21
Speaker
Uh, yeah, but I don't have any friends that I can think of that would be, you know, I guess I would pick that if like, if I knew they were having a bad day, but it's not just like, Oh, they get, you know what mean? Like, I don't think I'd do it all. I wouldn't make it obvious, but like if it came down to the wire and I was able to make one decision I could see that my friend is getting like really into it, I might be like, well, I could win on this technicality and stuff, but I'll just not.
00:28:47
Speaker
Yeah, I often play just for the silliest things, not for like to win. I rarely win most games because I'm just trying to do something funny. um And my friends would know. They would know if I was close to winning and I blew it. They would know.
00:29:00
Speaker
Like the ones that I play regularly with, they would know and they'd be pissed. So I'm just going to say no. That's fair enough. Yeah, they would be upset with me. So you're you're going out on this date with this person. um Do you pay for that date? Yes, absolutely.
00:29:14
Speaker
Okay. Well, i Of course, they're not allowed to pay. Absolutely. I would say absolutely only like I do ask. I don't just do it, though. I will say, like, is it OK if I get this since I invited you? Like, my rule is if I pick where we're going and you let me make the date and what we're doing, like I chose it and if it's expensive or whatever, I'm going to pay. And unless they some people have objected and said, can we split it? Sure.
00:29:42
Speaker
But usually I'll say, hey, do you mind if I get this? And most people say, OK, cool. Thank you. So. I don't just assume, but I do ask, and but I go out there and usually I'll say that ahead of time. Like lately, I'll just text and say, hey, since this is my idea, do you mind if I, you know, I'll take care of it?
00:29:59
Speaker
But sometimes it doesn't come to it. But yeah, I'm going to say absolutely. If it's my. um Yeah, I would if usually I'm the one planning it, so I'll be the I prefer to be the one paying.
00:30:11
Speaker
This is going to be so long. We are one ninth of the way through. We can speed it. You can just answer the question and I'll tell you what my answer is. Okay. Okay. How do you spend your free time?
00:30:23
Speaker
ah How do I spend my free time? There's a couple of things in here that I do. Writing, drawing, anything artistic, listening to spending time with friends.
00:30:34
Speaker
I'm probably going to say that. I just, i love my friends. if i If that's what I can do. Yeah, that is a very Adam answer. Yeah. When you play open world games such as Minecraft or area and arc, what do you enjoy doing?
00:30:47
Speaker
Fucking Roman man. Where's that option? Where, uh, flower picking, exploring, exploring a thousand percent, homie. I'm just out there in the woods getting lost. Yes, you are. I know. Best question ever. What is your favorite color?
00:31:03
Speaker
Oh man. Is mine on here? Jewel tones, pastels, black, maybe with an accent color and neons. Warm colors. I'm torn because I like a blend of like, like warm colors with a neutral color, like a gray and an orange or like a brown and a red um or black and a red.
00:31:23
Speaker
um I like earthy colors, too. Like when I'm dressing for the wintertime, like I'm usually wearing like earthy greens and shit. um Boy, that's tough. I like a lot of these. um Any cool color? I wear a lot of cool color. I wear a lot of blues.
00:31:38
Speaker
I usually wear, where you know what? I wear orange as like an accent, not as like it's the color I wear. But it's saying favorite color, and my favorite color is orange. So I'm going to just pick warm colors because that's where my favorite color is.
00:31:52
Speaker
So, okay. All right. Let me find the warm color. There it is. All right. You find out your friends have a group chat and they excluded you. What do you do?
00:32:03
Speaker
Initiate violence or immediate violence. So. i
00:32:11
Speaker
ah so I don't know. Like there's two answers on here that it could be either ignore it. People can do whatever they want or talk it over with them. Cause like if I found out about it, I'd be like, Hey, what's that? I might be curious. i think I would ask, it depends on how I found out about it. Cause if I found out about it from one of them, be like, so what's it for?
00:32:30
Speaker
you know, but also I'm sure people have tons of chats that like I'm not in and like who the fuck cares? So like, I don't care that much. So ta like, said, ignore it. I don't care. Yeah. I, I just, it depends on the context. Like people are allowed to have friends outside of me.
00:32:50
Speaker
Like if you texted me and said, Hey, i just found out like, Hey, I just wanted you to know that we're all in a group chat without you. Like, okay, cool, man. Yeah. Last night we were going to do, You were like, oh, I could do TFT late and then we could game. I was like, oh, well, I actually got games with some other friends like you're like, OK, bye. Like guy yeah I was like, all right, man, go for it. Cool. I'm just going to say ignore it. I don't have any strong opinions. I don't care. OK, OK.
00:33:16
Speaker
What website do you spend the most of your time on? What the fuck is AO3? No idea. What is that? um The most time.
00:33:29
Speaker
Uh, Discord, probably since it's on here. um okay Well, I mean, i I chat a lot on it, but like, I don't know. Does that count? I spend a lot of time on YouTube. I hate that I that i do it like not a shit ton of time. i like I do have YouTube playing quite a bit.
00:33:45
Speaker
um I'm on Instagram a bit more when I'm doing what I'm doing videos. um I got rid of Spotify, so I don't use that. ah I'm going to say Discord, actually.
00:33:59
Speaker
Okay. I think that's my go-to for just keeping in touch with a lot of people. I think I spend a lot of time using it. um So I'm going to say that. ah Pick your ideal superpower.
00:34:10
Speaker
Oh, man. Immortality. i always said I'm going live forever. um Shapeshifter. If you're already going to do that, you don't need immortality.
00:34:22
Speaker
Well, that's true. ah Invisibility. Nah. Honestly, I would like to heal people. So time manipulation also would be good, though, because I could manipulate someone's wounds.
00:34:35
Speaker
If I could do it in like a like an isolated place, like can I isolate like your wound and make it be not? I don't think so. I think it's like you can travel through time.
00:34:45
Speaker
I don't want to fuck with that. That's too much responsibility. It's too much. I'm going to say healing. OK, OK. ah Do you platonically flirt with your friends? Yes. I will know if you're lying. Okay, good. Yes. Yes, I do.
00:35:01
Speaker
How do you handle stress? ah Abuse others about it. ah Go ignore it. It'll go away eventually. um do a couple of things. like I'll talk to others. I'll either vent about it or like I'll do something creative, but probably vent. It's the more social thing. I'm a social person. I'm going to say vent to others about it.
00:35:22
Speaker
Okay. What is your role in a group project? ah
00:35:30
Speaker
I'm torn because there's a couple. there's a few There's a lot of great answers in here that I do. One's like, I like to be in charge. I will, if we're doing something, if especially if I know what we're doing, I'll tell everybody what I think they're best at.
00:35:44
Speaker
But another instance, like one says, I'll do whatever it needs to be done. That's also true. Whatever's not getting done, I'll try to help. ah The other one says makes everyone else make sure everyone else does their shit. I'll also do that. So like, I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey. I will mom this project.
00:36:00
Speaker
Huh? I will mom this project. Oh, man, this one's tough because. I think at the at the making sure everyone else does their shit is very much a take charge thing.
00:36:12
Speaker
But like, I know if it's something I don't know enough about, it's better to let somebody else take the lead on something. But going to say make sure everyone else does their shit. I think I'm good at just making sure everyone knows what they're doing.
00:36:23
Speaker
um so I don't know what this is. This is the one Beluga called you. Oh, no, this isn't the one Beluga called you. at Okay. Dogs or cats or both? Oh, I can't say neither.
00:36:36
Speaker
I know. I was upset there's no birds. Dogs or cats or both? Like, I don't know, I don't hate either one, but I don't like I'm not like, is it just like, do I like them?
00:36:50
Speaker
Are you a cat or a dog person or both? I'm not either. I generally like if it's a friendly animal, then I'll interact with it. um So I guess both.
Personality Test Deep Dive
00:36:59
Speaker
um Yeah, yeah, I don't really i like I relate more to dogs if I'm talking about like how they show emotion. But like, I don't think that's what the question is asking. So I'm just going to say both. no I think it's just which do you you know which one?
00:37:10
Speaker
Yeah, I'm just say both. OK. You need to go out late at night to go to the store. It's pitch black and the street lights are the only source of light.
00:37:21
Speaker
What do you do? ah Great answers in here. Like, why the fuck am I going alone? Phone a friend. Yes, I'm buff as fuck. Yes, just a little dark lol.
00:37:32
Speaker
Make someone else go. You need to go out late at night to go to the store. It's pitch black in the street. Yeah, I'm just going to go. Where's the option that I just go? Yeah, so I'm buff as fuck. Or yeah, just a little dark lol.
00:37:45
Speaker
I'm not buff as fuck. I'm going to say just a little dark lol. I was going say, alright. So just a little dark, alright? You're sitting in class... Yeah, don't care about that. You're sitting in class and your teacher is being frustrating. How do you handle it?
00:38:01
Speaker
High school Adam would complain about it to make sure the teacher hears. um That's an answer that's on here. So petty. It was. I was kind of an asshole at one point. I'm i'm not proud of it, but I got better.
00:38:12
Speaker
um Yell at them. Talk to the teacher about it after class. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Uh, if it's repeated behavior, I'd probably talk to them about it. If it's like, just like a one-off, I'd be like, ah, don't really care.
00:38:26
Speaker
Honestly, I've been that kid that talks to the teacher after class before just about a myriad of things, whether it's school related or not. So I'd probably talk to the teacher about it after class. Okay. som my pick the teacher Uh, what's your favorite emoticon?
00:38:39
Speaker
Oh man, there's so many good ones on here. you can't really see them. For those who don't know. made out of things like colon, semicolons and price like actual emoticons, not emojis.
00:38:51
Speaker
Yeah, these are I. I use a lot. Back in the day, I did a lot of either like winky face or like the tongue out. I'm going to say the tongue, the bottom one, the colon P. I did that one a lot.
00:39:05
Speaker
i I was always a a ah ah colon capital D guy like. Yeah, I yeah, I think I did that, too. I think it was colon capital P, but either way. um Which country would you move to?
00:39:18
Speaker
New Zealand. It's right here. Or Germany is also on here. But Adrian, you told me your country is boring, so I'm not going to move there. All right. New Zealand, then? I'm going to go to New Zealand. All right. no mean it That's more Australian. but there's you got New Zealand's like Australia, but there's a question mark at the end of everything you say. New Zealand.
00:39:37
Speaker
Nope. We'll call it a match.
00:39:43
Speaker
Say the number 10, but as if you have extra ease in it. And that's how you do it. Teen. Teen, right. It's teen. And put a question mark at the end. That's how you say All I know is that. Yeah. we And we talked about having to do the R in no.
00:39:57
Speaker
Nar. Nar. No, that's Australian. Although New Zealand also kind of does it too. Yeah. New Zealand kind of does it. Yeah. yeah I can't. Nope. All right. Anyway. It's math.
00:40:08
Speaker
Math is red and I'll fight anybody who thinks otherwise. they said the same thing. Do you like this Andrew Tate? Math is red. Do I like Andrew Tate? Now that dude can. There's a special place in hell for him. Where's that answer?
00:40:22
Speaker
No. What a piece of shit loser. No. What a piece of shit loser. Eat shit and die. Jesus Christ. What type of clothing do you wear most often? I know your hoodies all day, every day. That's exactly what I think.
00:40:36
Speaker
Back in the day, I was loose fitting flowy clothing. I just like did not want my clothes to touch my skin. They just like rested on me. um Slutty as shit on God's green earth. I want to be the most fuckable bitch at the grocery store.
00:40:52
Speaker
That's so good. The answer is just misogyny. Next. The clothes I wear the most is misogyny. This is great. I love it. Um, whatever I have and looks good, obviously.
00:41:06
Speaker
Probably that like, yeah, yeah, probably that. ah What's your favorite trope? Oh, like book trope or like movie trope. I see hurt comfort, favorite thing, miscommunication, bully to lover enemies to lovers.
00:41:22
Speaker
I like found family. I think that's great. I'm going to pick that. Okay.
00:41:29
Speaker
Halfway there folks. I hope you're entertained. yeah I hope you're enjoying this as much as I am. Which of these fanfics would you read based on the tags? Let's see. We've got comfort, no hurt, sick fic, wing fit, major character, death, angst, found family, terminal illness, graphic depictions of violence, Stockholm syndrome, strangers to lovers, tattoo flower shop, fluff, no beta. We die like men.
00:41:55
Speaker
ah
00:41:57
Speaker
I don't know. Wing fic is he's rotting fluff. Wing fic. I don't think these I don't think this test was made for us, by the way.
00:42:08
Speaker
Which of these fanfics would you read? None, I guess. Like, I don't really read fanfics. So then none. I'm just going to say none. I don't I don't read fanfic. So, yeah. OK, you're walking through a public space and you see someone beating up an innocent person.
00:42:27
Speaker
Kick him in the ass. It's just you three there at the moment, and the attacker looks to be more muscular than you. What do you do? i like this one. It says, I stand there indecisively and turn around. um I step in and get beat up immediately. i mean, that's very possible. It's likely that I would try to intervene in some way and probably get my ass kicked. um I join in. The Binderkuck probably deserved it.
00:42:51
Speaker
Yeah. I try telling off the attacker and run when they come towards me. I, what I would probably do is I would, the closest description that sounds like what my actual actions would do would be, I step in and try to make the attacker back off. Like I am very good at like, and I have been in situations like this in public, not, not quite like somebody was in the middle of being like fully beat down, but I've interrupted people who are like being pinned against the wall on the ground or like people were gathering around them.
00:43:19
Speaker
Um, And I have actually just like the moment you like disrupt the flow, people will try to be tough to you. But like if I just stand there, i'm like I wield my extroversion so well and my forwardness so well that people just don't want to have when they're in control of the confrontation. It's one thing. But when I'm in control of the confrontation, it's different. And I'll just keep talking until they get annoyed and fucking leave.
00:43:41
Speaker
Um, yeah you know, so, or I just like, do I have to call somebody? Is this some, is this a problem? Cause it looks like there's a problem here. Even if the person who's about to get jumped deserves it. I'm like, look, there's five of you and one of him, one at a time. Like if you have to kick this guy's ass, do it one at a time.
00:43:57
Speaker
I've broken up fights like that too. And that, by the way, that's what I answered as well. Yeah. Um, and I've broken up, not actually like they started fighting, but like they're some farther away, by the way, buddy, you gotta speak up. Yeah.
00:44:11
Speaker
I mean, I'm wearing headphones. I know. It's crazy. Now you sound great. Okay, perfect. You daddy Danny voice. I know, but I also have to try and be quiet because Beluga's doing something in the other room.
00:44:24
Speaker
Oh, she could come in here and interrupt us. and We haven't forbid. I know. I have de-escalated situations like that before, and you'd be surprised how well disappointment works. like Just being like, dude,
00:44:38
Speaker
You're better than that. I know you're better than that. What are you doing? Sure. It's hard to feel big and in control while somebody's being like, I'm watching you and I'm disappointed in you.
00:44:51
Speaker
True. i've I've done that too. where i'm just like Or if you say like, is this really how you want to spend your day today? Yeah. I could be shaking in my boots and about to crap my pants, but I'll be like,
00:45:03
Speaker
Dude, come on. You're better than this. I know you are. And I'm praying to God and inside that it works, but yeah, it does. Yep. All right. That's my answer is just try to get in the back off.
00:45:14
Speaker
Uh, what do you do if you're sick and you have a prior engagement? Um, call it off. Um, uh, I stay home and reschedule. They should be thanking me for getting my germs on them. I'm sure nobody will get sick. I go and I feel guilty the whole time.
00:45:30
Speaker
Um, Uh, I stay home and reschedule. Like I just, I'll let them know like, Hey man, I'm feeling like ass that happened to me over Christmas. i was like, Hey, I'm sorry. I'll come back out and visit and look at all your presents. I think that's the best thing to do. It's like the only right option.
00:45:45
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. the easy one. Next. Uh, someone is yelling at you for something you didn't do. How do you reply? start yelling back, and insulting them. Um, I beat them up and call them slurs. I fight them. i don't reply.
00:46:03
Speaker
Uh, I just wait for to get done and calmly explain what's going on. Yeah, same. Answer. Either that or I don't reply. It just depends on the situation. Sometimes i'm like, all right, man, I'm just going to keep going.
00:46:14
Speaker
Uh, you're on the internet and have somehow managed to get yourself into an internet argument about something you're coming to realize you're clearly wrong about. How do you handle it? ah Um, edit the Wikipedia page to prove I'm right. Uh,
00:46:32
Speaker
ah Honestly, like I've been trying to be really good about this because I'm trying to help my nephew understand that this is okay to do. So like, even if I'm feeling really proud and stupid, like it's yeah. Kind of how we had that conversation a while back where was like, we were saying like, fuck yeah.
00:46:48
Speaker
Really like how excites you. Or if you say like, fuck it is like the best thing to say right before doing something like yeah this is another one of those things where i'm just like, if I just say, ah, shit, like it just kind of like diffuses people. I'm like, ah, shit, I fucked up. Ah, man, I'm sorry. thing it all right, you win.
00:47:06
Speaker
If it sounds like so casual and it's like you kind of like put that light bulb up like people, will if then people feel kind of bad for you and like, he's fine. It's OK. I'm like, ah, shit. I'm sorry.
00:47:17
Speaker
You know, so like that's my go to is just like, ah, shit. i Dang, I messed up. So I'm going to say apologize because I do it all the time. OK. Oh crap, did I say that? Oh damn it, dude, I'm sorry. honestly the moment you just put that, ah, like it just like really just diffuses it.
00:47:39
Speaker
Okay. what Oh wow, I didn't even realize I was starting this question the same way the question starts by saying, okay. Okay. What's your opinion on Elon Musk?
00:47:50
Speaker
Hell yeah, comedy is not legal on Twitter. I don't think that's your real answer. No, it's he's a massive... That's like the nicer way. is The answer is he's a massive loser. He's said Yeah. i have There's not enough time in a day.
00:48:07
Speaker
Your friend comes out to you. How do you respond? I'm gayer. that a
00:48:15
Speaker
ah You're gay. That's kind of gay. You know what I mean? Honestly, I would say some shit like that. I'm like, oh, what? You're gay. That's kind of gay. I absolutely would.
00:48:28
Speaker
um I don't know if I'd be comfortable with being friends with them. i I already know. Dumbass affectionately. Yeah. yeah already know i already know.
00:48:41
Speaker
What's your favorite genre of television and or books? Oh, man, I have so many. ah i don't know what slice of life is. What's that? That's just like, you know, the like an anime, just a character who's part of the soccer team and you go through watching them.
00:49:00
Speaker
I see. Go through their soccer thing. Oh, man. i don't know. I like a couple of these. Historical fiction is cool. Like Abe Lincoln, and Vampire Hunter. It's such a great movie.
00:49:12
Speaker
Fantasy is really fun. Sci-fi is fun. I do like slice of life and action movies. um I'm just going to go with fantasy because I can't. There's nothing here that like really is pulling me one way or the other.
00:49:26
Speaker
kind i Usually I do like a sci-fi fantasy, but. If you were stranded on an island and you could only bring one thing, what would that thing be? A gun, a Swiss Army knife, a musical instrument, a phone, a book, or a lighter?
00:49:40
Speaker
um
00:49:44
Speaker
Good question. rob I mean, a Swiss Army knife seems like the most realistic thing to bring, but I'm going to bring a lighter. I feel like being able to have something keep me warm is probably the best thing. I'm going bring a lighter. Okay. You stumble upon a dead body laid on the side of the road.
00:50:01
Speaker
A quick glance around tells you you're alone. What do you do?
00:50:08
Speaker
I call a friend and tell him about it. Hey, Dan, you want to check out a dead body? Hey, Dan, check this out, dude. um There's a lot more to it than what the answers give me here, but like i would absolutely... like i would look I would probably call the police after I kind of at least took non-touching glance and say, like,
00:50:29
Speaker
did this person get choked or is there any signs that they got beat up or assaulted or something? So I can give those details to whoever needs to know it. And be like, it looks like they might be beat up. They're pretty mangled. They're bloodied or like they might've fallen over. There's nothing. I can't see anything physically. Maybe they had a heart attack. Should I do CPR? Yeah.
00:50:47
Speaker
You know, like do the typical check for a heartbeat. um So I would um obviously you call the you call the authorities. the I wouldn't call the cops. I would call fucking an ambulance, but I'd probably call them like 911 or something. Right. I would definitely I would still to call 911. So I also someone to walk me through it.
00:51:06
Speaker
I also called the cops. Well, that's what I said. But my answer was also not really on here, ah which was call the cops. But then pose it in a funny pose before they get there.
00:51:19
Speaker
So I don't know, I guess. Yeah. Well, I guess that's just me. So, you know, teach their own, right? Yeah, I guess. So you said call the cops, right? Correct. Yeah.
00:51:31
Speaker
Okay. Which aesthetic do you vibe with the most? don't know, a Crow Corps, Gremlin Corps? It looks like it's just shiny. Cottage Corps, Preppy, Dark Academia, Y2K-esque, Scene, Emo, Punk, Goth, Grunge, Voidpunk, Cyberpunk, Kawaii, Solarpunk, Minimalism, Monochromatic,
00:51:55
Speaker
Is minimalism like the idea like that you live in minimalism? I don't need a lot, but I don't think I'm a minimalist. No, minimalism is basically what that picture shows. like you you It's not that you don't you don't want a lot. You want to have just like a mostly empty room. It's showing a picture of like just a white beige room with like a couch in it, and that's about it.
00:52:17
Speaker
So I'm torn. either If Y2K-esque means like I vibe with that kind of time frame, probably. But I'm not going lie, man. It would be vibing with that time frame.
00:52:29
Speaker
But there's still something about like emo, goth, grunge that really grabs me sometimes that like I don't dress that way anymore. But like I still fuck with it. Like, let's be let's be real for just a second.
00:52:42
Speaker
Yeah. Emile girls. Fucking hot, man. For sure. Yeah. No, I get you. Absolutely. I totally get you.
00:52:51
Speaker
Oh man, that's tough. Cause I don't know if I understand it. Like which aesthetic, the aesthetic of like this, these bright colors and everything. So like what I'm going to go with scenes, what screams addict Adam the most to you?
00:53:03
Speaker
ah The closest thing is emo punk goth of of the options they have. That's the one that screams to me. If I, if I remember right, mine was cottage core. Cause I always just wanted a nice, simple like cottage or house with i want nature around me. And I want no people around me.
00:53:22
Speaker
ah What are you most afraid of?
00:53:26
Speaker
What am I most afraid of? Not spiders, not clowns, not heights, not a specific person, not the law, not death. ah Not rejection, not loneliness.
00:53:40
Speaker
Betrayal is pretty high up there. It's not that I'm afraid of it, but like it does happen. Abandonments. ah I'm not afraid of it, but I have issues with it.
00:53:51
Speaker
So if I had to pick one that's on this list, it would be Betrayal. Yeah, that was mine too. What time of day do you like the most? Oh, hmm.
00:54:05
Speaker
I swear to God, if you say morning, I'm leaving. No, um ah I think I like dusk. I like when the sun's kind of, especially in the summer. It's just very pretty. It's very calming, especially if I'm driving out in my old neighborhood, like, know, in the old country. Like, it's just nice to drive like around like, you know, like a lot of the farm fields have been like picked and like so they're open, but it's still nice. And you see the sun setting over the over the hills. It's just really nice. It makes me feel good if I can sit outside when it's like a little chilly. Maybe I get like a light jacket and just chill out.
00:54:35
Speaker
Man, I love a good. In my opinion, dusk is always going to be better than dawn. If for no other reason, then it's just as pretty and you don't have to wake up early for it. Yeah. Well, I will say in my new place um right outside our window and what we're calling our our cozy room, um you can see when I get up for work, you can see the sun coming up over the the hills because we're up on ah on like a little mountain and it's very, very pretty to watch.
00:55:00
Speaker
Yeah, that's fair. Yeah. Congratulations. You've just and been invited to our potluck. What do you bring? What are you bringing to the potluck? ah Probably something that vegans can eat.
00:55:12
Speaker
um
00:55:18
Speaker
Right. So what were you bringing to the potluck? Honestly, I'm hosting the damn thing. I'm making the main course. Unless it's at work, where like I'll bring like the one thing I know how to make. But if I'm hosting it, we're making a bunch of food and people can bring whatever else they want.
00:55:31
Speaker
I'm making the main course, obviously. OK, I'm hosting. I host all the things around here. Except for the potluck that you're coming to in the summer. Got it. When you're having a potluck in the summer, we do every summer.
00:55:47
Speaker
Huh? You stayed overnight last time. You know, let's not get into how bad my memory is, OK? but
00:55:59
Speaker
We're eight questions away. Let's go.
Test Results and Analysis
00:56:01
Speaker
You've been supplied with a whiteboard and a whiteboard marker. What's the first thing you draw? There's a right answer. Penis, Among Us, a person, fictional character, flower, a heart, a big titty woman.
00:56:17
Speaker
I don't know. i don't I can't draw shit. Stick figure an option. oh no um Draw first thing. and We all know. Random inanimate object, probably.
00:56:30
Speaker
No, because like I like to like draw shitty little cubes or like I'll do like a c circle and shade it. Draw penis. All right. Because I'm not like, yeah, I don't understand. This is the one Beluga called you out on.
00:56:42
Speaker
ah but Text your best friend, partner or group chat right now. I'm serious. Ask them if you're a cat girl or a dog girl. It doesn't matter your gender. I'm 100% serious. This quiz can wait until you get a response.
00:56:59
Speaker
Hmm. Who are you going to text? I don't know. I feel like asking you is a bit like a cheat because you're like helping. Do you want what Beluga said you were? She's not my best friend, though.
00:57:10
Speaker
True. true True. She is in our group, I guess. What did she say? She said dog girl. OK, hang on. I want to go scream at my roommate and see if they can hear me and see what they say. Yeah. Yeah. What do they want? What they say? I'm entertained for a second.
00:57:24
Speaker
Yeah, so um for those that don't know what this means, as far as I understand it, you know, you got you got your cat girls who are kind of more, you know, they act kind of like a cat. They're less social. They're more um sly. You know, they they got that whole thing going for them. And then you got your dog girls, which is kind of like saying a guy is a Labrador or golden retriever, which let's be real, that's on this joke and what Adam is. canny's So he's absolutely a dog girl because he lives to please. He's always happy to see you. He wets the carpet from getting too excited.
00:58:02
Speaker
You know, he's just a normal, he's a dog girl. The dude's a dog girl. Let's be honest with ourselves for a second here. And if this roommate of his knows him even a little bit, they're going to say he's a dog girl too. And if they say anything else, I'm disowning them. And I haven't even really met them.
00:58:21
Speaker
Well, it sounds like we might be getting our answer soon. i hear I hear movement.
00:58:28
Speaker
No? No movement yet? Okay, no, it's fine. I'll just keep entertaining people. So we had a ah a squirrel in the basement couple, know, like a week or two ago.
00:58:40
Speaker
That sucked. I still don't know how it got in there. we yeah We tried to capture it for like a couple hours and unfortunately Okay, so, sorry, I hear you talking about your to squirrel. Anyway, yeah, shoot it yeah target it. We did have to kill it because it was getting into where it could get through the rest of the house, and that was bad. Okay, so Hitch says that their initial response was cat girl, but after, like, they thought about it, they said, oh, I've only really seen you interact with cats, but then we remembered that went my old roommate's house, they had a big dog, and I always was wrestling around with the dog, and they said, well it seems like you like
00:59:14
Speaker
Both animals were for going off a personality alone. You're more of a dog girl. OK. I was explaining what this is to the audience while you are gone.
00:59:26
Speaker
Oh, it is not what you like more. It is what your personality is. Right then. Yeah, I don't know what they are, but they said it sounds like if we're going by like if you act more like a dog or a cat.
00:59:38
Speaker
Yeah, I said dog. Yeah, that's that's right. You are OK. um Which of these images resonates with you the most? A tiny finger on finger, a hyper-realized Among Us wearing Nikes, the creepiest white thing I've ever seen, bro moment with Mario's hat coming off, ah the objectively best flooring ever that you saw at the bottom of every bowling alley and every arcade, drugged-out smiley face punching you with some blood,
01:00:13
Speaker
I'm just going to go with that one you just said. All those little colored zigzags and swirls, that's the kind of shit that I'd put on a piece of paper if I was bored. I'm going to pick that. I picked that one, too, because I went to the bowling alley all the time and I had this floor.
01:00:27
Speaker
Okay. Hi! Now it's Mickey's turn to ask you a question! Michael Afton from Five Nights at Freddy's? What in God's name am I doing here? Where am I?
01:00:42
Speaker
ah come on Mikey Wikey, ask the reader a question. What? Why? Vincent, back off Mike, Arthur Chan is mine.
01:00:53
Speaker
Jeff the Killer, yeah, Arthur Chan is clearly a pasta like me. Tiki Tobi, it's like we were remember back in 2050. I like waffles.
01:01:07
Speaker
Other Chan, don't mind them. They're kind of silly. XD, do you like me? oowoo
01:01:14
Speaker
Gotcha. That was just a big old garble of whatever. So let's see. Girl, what the fuck? I'm not anymore. I'm unfollowing you on Tumblr. well, yes, bestie. I love you. I have no fucking idea what any of that meant. I'm just going to say, um, I think I said, girl, what the fuck?
01:01:32
Speaker
I think the answer is, do you like me? Do you like me? Okay. So the last one. I'm going to say, um, not anymore. I'm not anymore. Okay. Okay. That's fair.
01:01:45
Speaker
Uh, I don't know. You know, we're at question 41 out of 45. Really hitting the big numbers here. Tell me, dear test taker, how do you feel right now taking this quiz? This will affect your results.
01:01:57
Speaker
ah Pretty good. I mean, that's yeah, I'm going to pick pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Yep. How do you snore based on vibes?
01:02:08
Speaker
Snork me me me or honk shoe. I'm definitely not a whole shoe. I wish I were. Yeah, it's more like. ha as a festival livephon Yeah, OK.
01:02:20
Speaker
When in public reading smut and fluff. Can you keep your face impassive if you don't read thick in public, this won't affect your results. ah Yeah, I don't read fanfic in public. I don't read fanfic at all.
01:02:35
Speaker
Is this for authors? Is that what this is? No. Which fanfic site do you use to read on? I don't know what any of these are, except for the bottom ones.
01:02:46
Speaker
I don't do any. i'm pretty I'm pretty sure this is for, like, booktop girls, by the way, this test. Oh. on yeah Fuck, I don't know. i The only thing I know is YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram. What's your favorite animal?
01:03:06
Speaker
My favorite animal, my favorite animal when I was a kid was a cheetah. I really liked the cheetah. um Let's see what else is on here, though. dar that is on there Yeah, dinosaurs. I do love dinosaurs.
01:03:18
Speaker
We currently have a decoration downstairs where I have like this stegosaurus basket. And my roommate has like this, like fluffy green Tyrannosaurus Rex fluffy or stuffy that they stuff that I put in it. And then Josh.
01:03:32
Speaker
what a sweet present. He gave me a pellet gun that looks like it was made out of Legos because you remembered that I said I wanted to learn how to use a gun. And he said, that's a good place to start. And he got me this like action loaded pellet gun. like And so I have this ten Tyrannosaurus Rex. It's tucked into the basket version of the Stegosaurus. And when you walk in, it looks like a Tyrannosaurus Rex riding a Stegosaurus with a gun is in his hand. It's awesome. I'm pretty sure I saw that t-shirt.
01:03:59
Speaker
Yeah, um I do have a shirt of a of a raccoon with a Molotov cocktail riding a goose that says become ungovernable on it. There you go. I'm just going to go dinosaurs or cheetahs.
01:04:14
Speaker
I'm going to go with cheetahs just because that was like a long term, a long time favorite that I have. a
01:04:23
Speaker
I got the same thing as you, apparently. You're a soft alpha. Welcome to the cold. Alpha. Let's see. We are. Let's see. as As a soft alpha, you exercise that need for control instinctive for ah to all alphas, but you do so in a way that isn't brash or harsh.
01:04:42
Speaker
This makes you a natural leader that's so also well-liked. You are a people pleaser at heart and you cry if you think someone doesn't like you. That is not true. You did all the therapy and now I need. True for me.
01:04:52
Speaker
and now feel the need to therapy others. um You were an arts kid and wholeheartedly expected to get submissive Omega in this test. I did not expect that. um and Even though that was a thing.
01:05:04
Speaker
Should you enter the workforce, we recommend going into therapy, law, landscaping, farming, or even politics. That should tickle your fancy. I've considered politics several times. A soft alpha is compatible with most with a flirty beta, loner alpha, caring beta, independent Omega, and a submissive Omega.
01:05:21
Speaker
Okay. and Yep, that means something. Cool, man. Yeah. All right. Well, so I was shooting for a firm alpha, but... Sorry, you're not firm enough. You're you're still soft.
01:05:35
Speaker
I want to be a firm Charlie. No, sorry. You're a flaccid alpha. Ah, dang. Shit. Well, listeners, I hope that was fucking entertaining for you for me to find that out. out ah Yeah.
01:05:49
Speaker
I'm sorry. That's all I can say. Yeah. I'm sorry, people. At the end of the day... I'm going to cost us 45 fucking questions long. Well, now we know. I was like, this is cool. It'll be like a five-minute test, and you know we'll just answer some silly questions.
01:06:06
Speaker
Let's see. Oh, you can look at the... um You can look at the answers to see how they totaled up. So my answers. What says soft alpha 19 carrying beta 15. Are these just like scores or just this is what everybody else also picked?
01:06:25
Speaker
Where is that?
Quiz Results and Episode Naming
01:06:26
Speaker
Where you see that? If you scroll down a little bit, it shows like. um Oh, results? It shows results. um There's loner alpha, dominant alpha, independent omega, submissive alpha. yeah, so this is what your score was. So you got soft alpha the most and carrying beta next.
01:06:48
Speaker
Oh, these are the different types of answers that I gave. I see. These are all the different things you could be and how much of each you are. Oh, I see. Interesting. OK, so I am a soft alpha and a caring beta the most and a loner alpha number three right next to a protective beta um or my top four. And then followed by aggressive Omega. donut Your least is an Andrew pathetic alpha.
01:07:12
Speaker
God, thank you. Submissive alpha. How can you be a submissive alpha? What? What the fuck? What does that mean? Who knows?
01:07:22
Speaker
What? Oh, I kind of wish I saw this when I took the test. I would have loved to have seen what i was. results totals people scored submissive omega the most, followed by stoic omega at 400,000. And it's not even close. The submissive omega is twice as high as the next as stoic, which second. And loner alpha was 352, which I'm curious how people got that or if those were given in sincerity and then followed by needy beta and soft alpha.
01:07:56
Speaker
Submissive alpha is the lowest. Yeah. Um, dominant alpha is pretty low on the list too. Um, Loner. Why is dominant alpha the only one in white?
01:08:09
Speaker
The rest are like this grayish color. i don't know. Oh, never mind. It's just because I'm on my phone and that's the one I touched when I scrolled down. yeah Oh, find your scent for betas.
01:08:24
Speaker
Which secondary gender are you? Oh, wow. What kind of wolf are you? Oh, we love these old school quizzes, but they used to only be 10 questions and these are fucking 40, bro.
01:08:39
Speaker
What is your Omega cent? This is weird. This is. ah it I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I said this. since i certain You are absolutely in your right to like this. I do not judge you for it.
01:08:54
Speaker
It's just not for me. I sent this to my friend and roommate, Hitch, and they said, I'm so surprised by the amount of accuracy. There are some misses here and there, but they've got you mostly pegged. And I said, alphas don't get pegged unless there's submissive.
01:09:13
Speaker
And they said, that's a you decision.
01:09:19
Speaker
Yeah, you're an alpha. You can get pegged if you want to. that's Only if i say so. Yeah. You should absolutely have Hitch take it. Oh my god, I sent it to them, so we'll well'll we'll just see.
01:09:31
Speaker
i don't know Hitch very well, but i already feel like this would be like They'd find this hilarious. Looking at the options, I'm going to venture to guess they're probably like a submissive Omega as well, or a needy beta.
01:09:49
Speaker
Mm hmm. That's my guess. No, actually, i think protective beta maybe as well, because they are very much like leave my friends alone, like don't pick on my friends. Like if it was like a stranger, i don't know. Like, I think they'd be like, I'm out of ah my league here. or Like, I'm not equipped.
01:10:05
Speaker
but like they're very protective of people that care about those. So I'm, i'm interesting yeah, I'm curious. I'm, I'm going to guess either submissive Omega protective beta or needy beta or carrying beta is also in there.
01:10:18
Speaker
know what they get. Carrying beta. I just noticed this one too. So maybe I actually, that's, probably I'm going to guess maybe that's it. Carrying beta is what I'm going to say. Okay. Yeah. I'll let y'all know what they get, but.
01:10:29
Speaker
There we go. we got a couple of soft alphas yeah Yeah, look look at us soft alphas. I hope you all like this brainwreck of an episode. The beautiful brainwreck.
01:10:43
Speaker
Should I call this episode instead Two servings two Helpings of Soft Alpha? Oh, absolutely. The Soft Alpha Podcast. Yeah, I'm going to call it. I'm to call it the Soft Alpha Pod.
01:10:59
Speaker
but The Soft Alpha Podcast. he Although I do like man, man, woman, woman. But but that's okay. um There's always going to be time for man, man, woman, woman later. Always going to be time for man, woman, woman. Some people do want to land on that moon.
01:11:20
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. So...
01:11:26
Speaker
Okay. back ah so I've been saying that shit. I've been switching between nobody wants to land on that moon. I've been switching between nobody wants those eggs and nobody's going to land on that moon. i Back and forth a lot lately.
01:11:43
Speaker
um So anyway, everyone, thank you for putting up with this hour long fuck fest of stupid Alpha Beta Omega. This whole this show is so dumb and I love it. Oh, God.
01:12:00
Speaker
ah ah All right,
Listener Gratitude and Farewells
01:12:03
Speaker
y'all. Danny, anything you want to say before we round this thing out? Thank you all so much for listening. You know, the usual spiel. We're still very appreciative of you guys. ah You know, tell other people about the show if you think they would like it and you don't mind them never talking to you again.
01:12:20
Speaker
um If you are going to be affected by the storm this weekend, sit tight, stay safe. Remember, your safety is your number one priority. So do whatever you have to do to stay safe.
01:12:33
Speaker
absolutely just Absolutely. We care. We love you. And we hope you make it through this all right and in one piece. We're rooting for you. and And that's it for me.
01:12:46
Speaker
All right. And of course we have merchandise over on the fun and seller store. If want go check that out, we have a Kofi if you want to support the show so we can hire some editors and maybe start paying Danny for some voice acting um and some other people we want to hire. Also,
01:13:02
Speaker
If you want to submit any questions. I deserve some money for reading that one stupid question. Fundancellarsnetwork.biz, because we give you the business. ah Please go over there if you want to submit any questions to us. We'd love to hear them.
01:13:13
Speaker
And we hope you're having a good new year. We hope hope you're all having a good new year out here. ah You know, we know it's hot out there, but ah just make sure you're- I'm so jealous. jealous.
01:13:28
Speaker
Just fucking make sure that you're taking care of yourself and each other and just, ah you know, submit any questions. fun and install network these Just make sure you put a shrimp on the body. No. You just sound like a southerner in America trying to do it. It's so bad. ah and now Just make sure that you put them shrimp on them Barbies, you know, the Barbies and kids. Put them there shrimp on them there Barbies for me. Yeah.
01:13:51
Speaker
I tell you what, right now, I've asked everyone around here in the old, in the old, uh, Old Elpbeck, and I can tell you with 100% of certainty, nobody wants to land on that moon, Sheila.
01:14:02
Speaker
That's pretty good. Oh, my God. I actually, I just remembered. I never did put this voice on my demo reel. I gotta go fix that. All right. We're going to have Danny go fix his reel. Well, you guys stay real out there. I gotta go fix reel.
01:14:16
Speaker
All right. Well, in in that case, take care of your mind, take care of your heart. Most importantly, take care of yourselves and each other. And we'll see you all next time on another thrilling episode of TOQ.
01:14:27
Speaker
and And hey, if you want, you know take that quiz. Let us know what kind of cuck you are on the Omegaverse. Hang on. What was it called? I'll give everybody the title. It's fine. yeah Just look up Omegaverse quiz. You'll get it. Accurate Omegaverse quiz. 100% guarantee.
01:14:44
Speaker
messagees yes any guarantee Message us a question and your results at fundumsellersnetwork.biz. And if you don't, that's great. And if you do, we like you more than our other listeners. Okay, thanks. Bye. you're anything less than an alpha, send us money. Bye.
01:15:00
Speaker
Well, no, I can't say bye. I said bye and you said bye and you said more sentences and now our bye is fucked up. Well, cry about it, SoftAlpha. Hey, listen, I'm getting firmer by the moment.