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Sandblast Yer Hourglass (Fk Yeah)
9 Plays7 days ago
Today, Atom and Danny discover the true empowering affect of responding to nearly everything with "Fk Yeah!"
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction and Concept
00:00:00
Speaker
Oh, wait, who's doing the intro? Do you want to rock, paper, scissors for it? Yeah, sure. All right. Ready? Yeah. One, two, three, go. ah fuck oh yeah No, we're tied. We have to do it again. okay yeahp One, two, three. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, ladies gentlemen, non-binary folks. This is DOQ, or that's a Q for long, where we take your questions and we turn them into answers in the same way that you take a seed and you...
00:00:31
Speaker
you turn it into an apple or a pear or a flower or other things that seeds grow from. Anyway, my name is Adam and I'm with me, as always, is my good buddy, Daniel Guaranty. Daniel, how have you been since we spoke last?
00:00:45
Speaker
ah Pretty good. Actually, I was, you know, i was just all right. But then I got this this magical moment just a second ago where like you brought back that taking your your cues and turning them to ace thing a little bit and it just brightened my entire day.
00:01:01
Speaker
I
Dollar Tree Adventures and Capitalism
00:01:02
Speaker
mean, it fell off a little bit halfway through, but it was still really You know, I wasn't prepared and I realized that like, oh no, I have to do a thing. And then i should just left it like we take your Q's and turn them into A's and I should just left it there.
00:01:13
Speaker
No, no, this was better. This was definitely more ah more Adam. ah Yeah, I did i didn't. i It's just like old time. I still didn't know what to say then, and I don't know what to say now.
00:01:24
Speaker
um Hey, before we get started with our question today, ok yeah I just wanted to just quickly highlight a really cool thing that happened to me today.
00:01:40
Speaker
Okay. Hit me. So, well... I went to the store. Do you have a store called Dollar Tree where you live?
00:01:51
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, we have Dollar Tree. It's just like a dollar store. It's like a craft store. Yeah, it's like the dollar store. um And, you know, I just want to say capitalism sure is interesting because when I go into a gas station and I want to buy a giant liquid death, how big are these fucking things?
00:02:12
Speaker
it's like a tall boy size. They are 19.2 fluid ounces. These things. They're usually like two or $3. Right. But I went into a dollar tree today and found mango chainsaw and convicted melon. And there were a buck 25 each.
00:02:28
Speaker
Oh, I hope you bought in bulk. I ah should have honestly, I was just trying to tide myself over until I got back to where I need to be. But you know, And I found these like these nice little protein bars that I find at other grocery stores that are usually like $3.50 a fucking bar.
00:02:46
Speaker
These things were $1.25 there too. And i was like, what ah is it? ah but I don't know. Because I checked the expiration dates because I was like, maybe this is one of those things where they can sell it cheaper because it's close to the expiration date. But they weren't.
00:02:59
Speaker
So I don't understand how dollar – the good thing is – I guess the other place must just do markup. They must mark it up way higher they're supposed to. You must be buying it at cost or close to it, yeah. Because Dollar Tree, I got two cans of Liquid Death for less than the price it would cost me to get one can of Liquid Death at a different store.
00:03:19
Speaker
And that is just confusing, but a great boon for me today.
Liquid Death Sponsorship Dreams
00:03:24
Speaker
And I don't see Mango Chainsaw in many stores anymore, nor do I see Convicted Melon that much. So I'm wondering if maybe they're not as like popular or something.
00:03:33
Speaker
And maybe that's why Dollar Tree picked them up. because it's like the only flavors they did have, but I got them for a buck fucking 25, dude. And and That was the price I remembered them being when they first came out.
00:03:45
Speaker
And it was just nice to feel like I traveled back in time for a minute. Dude, I'm happy for you. That's $25. So I just wanted to say thank you, Dollar Tree. You're really predatory with places that you usually pop up. So like I don't like you as a corporation in general, but I appreciate that I could get some liquid death from you for a cheap price.
00:04:03
Speaker
Because I know that's not some cheap knockoff like you do with like... oh hey come buy a dollar general does it more than dollar tree if i'm being honest but like oh hey you can get a bar of soap for a dollar from here you have to pay three dollars somewhere else and it's usually like yeah you get like radically less and it's not the same amount but this is the same size can same liquid death taste thanks liquid death that's who i'm gonna thank i love you liquid death and whoever made you sponsor our show i fucking love this company i love this drink
00:04:35
Speaker
I love what you do. i love murdering thirst and I love eliminating plastic waste. Sponsor us liquid but death. Somebody clip that and send it to the leader of the corporation, please. Thank you. Yeah. Liquid death. I'll tell, I'll tell the world whatever you want me to, uh, you don't even have to pay me. Just send me dead billionaires.
00:04:53
Speaker
Honestly, if you just send me a case, ill yeah, absolutely. I'll call that a sponsorship. You don't got to send me money. That's my dream is to be sponsored or partnered with liquid death. Because I actually like the product.
00:05:05
Speaker
I actually like it. Anyway, Danny, you want to ask a question? Sorry, I was just really excited about getting cheap liquid death today. So here's my question for today. yeah What's your favorite thing about liquid death?
00:05:17
Speaker
No, I'm only kidding.
Humorous Drink Creations
00:05:18
Speaker
Don't. ah that ah Well, let me start. I can tell you. It all started when I was a boy. it all started when I was in pupae stage. In Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, liquid death drinks you.
00:05:31
Speaker
There we call it liquid water. Liquid water. No, there we call it hard life. yuvodka We call it solid life and liquid death.
00:05:49
Speaker
There, living is hard. Dying, that is the easy part. That is liquid. Living is hard. It's so solid. stick Just like the poop, you cannot get out.
00:06:05
Speaker
Danny, let's make a... I still want to make Big Rick energy happen, but let's make solid life and we'll rival Liquid Death. Alright, I'm in. It's just like ah hard candy version of Liquid Death.
00:06:17
Speaker
and then we'll call it And then we'll make gaseous limbo and that'll be the in-between. That's just, ah it's a bag of air that you just sniff. They make those canned airs, those flavored canned airs. Oh, that's right.
00:06:29
Speaker
A lot of like athletes use them. You can have it with water to add flavor to the water. That's right. It'll be gaseous limbo. I hate that. From a combination of liquid death and solid life. Solid life. Gaseous limbo.
00:06:43
Speaker
Gash's purgatory.
00:06:47
Speaker
Gash's purgatory sounds like when I farted and I'm not sure if it smelled yet and I'm sitting there like yeah waiting. You're like, do I put the windows down? Do I need to run do i Do I dare breathe?
00:07:02
Speaker
Did anybody else in the room also notice it or is it just hard air? Is it just hard air? It's hard.
00:07:16
Speaker
Welcome to my gaseous limbo. It's been seven minutes. ah That's fine. Let's be real. This is what the people want.
00:07:29
Speaker
but so steve Oh man, we got the giggles tonight. This is gonna be a good one. um Dude, I got a solid that life I have to drop after this fucking episode.
00:07:42
Speaker
We'll keep it kind of short today so you can go drop your life. No, it's not an emergency. I just know that when it's time. just know it's there. Alright. You're still putting it together. I getcha. Yeah, it's gonna be a hard knock life for little Worf and Annie, I'll tell you that.
00:07:55
Speaker
Oh god. Alright, are you ready for the actual
Exploring the Phrase 'You Do You'
00:07:57
Speaker
question? Yeah, what's the question? Alright, do you know the saying, you do you? Sure. do me all the time. Perfect.
00:08:07
Speaker
So, uh, turbulent papaya 910 on shitty ass credit wants to know is being told you do you just a nicer way of saying, go fuck yourself yourself. Yeah. I've, I thought that all the time when I first heard it, that is so funny. Papaya. Would you, what was it? Tassiter and papaya a turbulent papaya 910.
00:08:32
Speaker
Turbulent papaya 910. Yes. I used to think that when people said, like, you do you. And, like, my immature brain was like, are you telling me to go and do myself?
00:08:44
Speaker
Are you telling me to go and, like, essentially, if I fuck myself, is that just masturbating? Who's to say? Well, that just brings back old clone question.
00:08:55
Speaker
Right. um But i used to I used to think the same thing. And i think... I think it's not what you say, it's how you say it. They say, hey, you do you.
00:09:07
Speaker
You're like, no, you do you, motherfucker. yeah But it's like, you do you, man. I'm like, yeah. I use you do you a lot. in like I tell that to people all the time. Yeah, yeah,
00:09:18
Speaker
You do. You you i do say you do you, is what you are saying. When I do me, I tell people you do you. So when you say that you...
00:09:29
Speaker
will do that by telling someone else, you do you, you do this, and I know you do this? Because it's the first time I'm hearing you say you do you.
00:09:40
Speaker
I mean, I've definitely said it before. i might not have said it to you specifically. i don't remember that at all. But you you, Danny. on. I usually do it. Thank you. Thank you, man. And when I say it, I actually do not mean it as go F yourself.
00:09:56
Speaker
okay I mean it genuinely. like when When people tell me like you know something I wouldn't do personally, like, oh, you know I'm going go get like a $1,000 tattoo, let's say.
00:10:09
Speaker
And I'm sitting here like, wow, that's a lot of money to waste on a tattoo. But you do you. i would say, like yeah, i I wouldn't do that, but you do you. ah And to me, that doesn't mean go F yourself. It just means like to each his own.
00:10:26
Speaker
You do you. You know, I'm not going to judge you on it, but it's just not something i would do. Right. Yeah. I mean, that seems to be what the implication is when people typically will say it, but...
00:10:40
Speaker
i do I do think that it is very easy for someone, especially if the language isn't their primary one, to be like, this dude, because of what I know, and someone says they do something point someone or something, that they are doing sexually.
00:10:57
Speaker
so if you're telling me to do me, that's very rehearsed. I've definitely heard people say it in that context as well. It's just that I don't.
00:11:09
Speaker
um I use that that term all the time, but I never once, I don't think, actually meant it as go F yourself. It's usually, you know, you do you, I'll do me.
00:11:21
Speaker
As long as we're not hurting anybody, we're all free. ah I do want to look at some of the comments because other people have other ideas. And I really like this first one. ah So adamantium4084 says... and That's my dad.
00:11:38
Speaker
Oh, it's nice to see you, adamant. ah They're saying, quote, I think this is a poor choice, and I've either explained that to you and you won't listen, or I didn't explain it and I'm being condescending without telling you why in order to feel superior.
00:11:58
Speaker
Uh-huh. I could see that. Yeah, I could see that one. I guess for me, it's it's more like this is a fight I don't feel like having.
00:12:11
Speaker
Like, I could argue with you about that tattoo, that thousand dollar tattoo, but I don't care. You do you like it's your money. Spend it how you want. I don't agree with it. Like I said, I think it's too much money, but whatever.
00:12:24
Speaker
It's a it's a it's not what you say. It's how you say it. And it's contextual. Yes, very much so. It's kind of like, um When someone says good for you, right?
00:12:36
Speaker
Like if there's, I can easily think of times to say like, oh man, good for you. That's so great. I'm so happy for you. Versus like, good for you.
00:12:49
Speaker
So happy for you. Good for you. like it's just it's It's situational. its it's Because I've only ever heard as a kid, good for you was never used positively.
00:13:00
Speaker
But it's very easy say, oh man, that's good for it's good for you. I'm so happy like that's happening for you. If you just say good for you without any supplemental sentences, if someone says, oh man, I'm getting married, I'm like, oh, good for you. Good for you, man. They're like,
00:13:18
Speaker
I mean, they they might be like, are they sincere or they tell me to fuck myself? Just like you do you. Well, I mean, if you're giving them the finger while you're like, good for you. I'm getting mixed signals.
00:13:31
Speaker
oh man, I'm getting married next week. She said yes or some shit. I'm like, good for you. audy You know which, you know what, just, oh, you know what Sang has recently been cropping up in my life that is just, it's an ick for me. I hate it with all of my heart and soul.
00:13:48
Speaker
Which one? i have a couple. I love that for you hate that for you. I was going to ask if that it. was going to ask if that was it. Every time I'm like, I hate it. I haven't heard it as much in recent years, but I remember a few years ago, heard it in a commercial first. It was like an insurance commercial there like these animated critters in the forest and they were talking and the deer was like, I love that for you.
00:14:14
Speaker
And like, I know it's meant to be a good thing. Like, oh, I think that's great for you. But it's essentially just saying good for you. It's the same thing as with more words. Like, I hate it. I hate it. Like, and we know a few people that will speak like that.
00:14:29
Speaker
And every time I hear it, I'm like, Oh, I love that for you. It's very basic white woman language. Yeah, it's it's very white girl wasted language. Yeah, it's very much like, I love that for you. Oh, I love that for you. Yeah, I hate it.
00:14:44
Speaker
I hate it because, like, I agree with you. It's one of my least favorite ones that I feel has not didn't have the same staying power as other things. It still pops up, but like, I haven't heard it in a long time.
00:14:56
Speaker
Yeah, to me, that one always felt like go F yourself. Yeah. like You tell somebody something nice and they're like, oh, I love that for you. it just comes across as fake to me. Like, yeah, it does. Right. Because it sounds like it's a I don't want to have give you any of me. I don't want myself involved in it. But hey, good for you. That's great for you.
00:15:18
Speaker
And it's like. I get how it feels like you need to draw a boundary, but it's not really a boundary of someone saying something that they love. And it's like, I love that for you or good for you.
00:15:30
Speaker
It's like, just say, Hey, I love that. Yeah. I'm happy for you. That's great. Even when we were just talking about with a good for you. i I almost never say good for you just because it it feels like that. I'll be like, dude, that's awesome. I'm so happy for you.
00:15:46
Speaker
Right. it's You almost can't just Just using different language, it just changes the whole meaning. It does. And so yeah I love that few has always, even if I know it was sincere, i think, not that I think it's they meant it as something bad or that there's still a bad undertone, but I just feel like the origin from it is like...
00:16:07
Speaker
I don't want to give too much of myself to this. So I love that for you. i don't really care to tell you I love that or I'm happy for I hear it as like, I don't want to really connect myself to it.
00:16:23
Speaker
So that's great for you. hear it more as. Before you say what you think it is, I think I just want to cap it off with, I think maybe what I'm getting at, because I realized it as I was talking, is that like, it sounds like it's,
00:16:37
Speaker
You know how when someone says they love something and then like you're instantly saying, well, you know, I don't really like it that much. and Instead of just being like, hey, I'm happy you like that. Right. It just kind of has that tone of like, I don't also like it, but I'm happy for you. yeah See, for me, it kind of sounds more like a jealousy thing.
00:16:56
Speaker
Interesting. Like, you know, like, oh, you want a million dollars? I'm so I love that for you. Like, that should be me.
00:17:08
Speaker
Huh. I don't know. That's just how I hear it. Yeah, i see what you mean. I could. Yeah, I could see that just kind of being in like, ah oh, you're you had a great vacation and I've been working 60 hours a week.
00:17:22
Speaker
I love that for you. I love that for you. Yeah, like that's you can mean it 100 percent sincerely. My mind will just be like. Oh, they they hate you for that.
00:17:33
Speaker
They hate that for you. ah Right. Well, yeah, it's, but still it's a separation. It's like, it's a me versus you or me staying away from you is what it feels like. Yeah. Either I'm resentful of the thing that you're saying you're happy about, or I can't help but say something nice, but still give it like a backhanded feel to it. Because like, like one of the biggest faux pas you can do in conversation, at least to me, and I know how easy it is to do that, but like,
00:18:02
Speaker
oh man, I just saw this great movie and I'm excited to talk about it. like I saw it too and I didn't like it. like Nobody fucking asked you yet. there's no Let them have their excitement first. Don't shit on their parade because you just want to make it about how you feel.
00:18:16
Speaker
like Just ask questions first. Oh, what did you like about it? like What did you take away from it? What were your favorite parts? And then you can say, you know I was struggling to like it because. like You can make it a conversation then, but like don't shit on someone's parade because you're immediately...
00:18:29
Speaker
you know, I don't really like potatoes. I'm happy for you though. Like, it's just, I hate that shit. Like chime in just to say you don't like something someone likes. You know what it, you know what I think it is?
00:18:41
Speaker
What? I think it's all around that for you, but it's like, so say the, the term I'm happy, you know, or I love that for you. Can't you just love that? Can't you just be happy for me? Like you're making it sound like, oh, I'm doing this as a favor to you. I'm being happy for you. Connect for you. Yeah.
00:19:00
Speaker
It's disconnected. That's why that's how it feels. is How about my good news is just good news and you're happy. Right. Oh, man, that's great. I'm happy. That's so wonderful. Versus i love that. That's awesome. Right. I love that.
00:19:12
Speaker
Just leave it there. I love that. That's great. Yeah. Saying the for you makes it sound like I'm saying, I love that as a favor to you. Right. Right. Normally I'd hate that, but I love it for you. Right. I'm saying this nice thing for you and I want you to be aware that that's what this is. So thank me, bitch.
00:19:32
Speaker
Right. And it's just like tap into your empathetic part of your brain and just say, Hey, I'm really like, if you must say like, I'm really happy for you. That's awesome. Like, Like that's different for like, you can be happy for someone for their success.
00:19:46
Speaker
But if I love that for you, just does not carry that same level of like, if I say I'm happy for you, that feels more sincere than I love that for you. Because it just, it feels like, like just like an automatic response and not one that comes from a place of love or empathy. Yeah.
Genuine Expressions of Support
00:20:01
Speaker
it's not It's not compassion or passion. It's just like I'm saying this as a colloquial. Like when you see somebody at work, like, what's up? What's up? And that's it. It's just a colloquial greeting. It's just like, I love that for you.
00:20:12
Speaker
I'm not going to fucking tell you anymore then. Yeah, really. ah ah just I can't. Also, ah just real quick for, you know, quick advice. I'll throw this one and sprinkle it in ah like Salt Bay.
00:20:25
Speaker
if somebody tells you some big news about what they did, replace I'm so happy for you with I'm proud of you. Yeah, man. do Even if you're not like super close to that person, knowing someone else is proud of them for their big accomplishment goes a long way.
00:20:41
Speaker
You want to make your you know elevate your... a compliment to the next level. I'm proud of you. That's awesome. But say it right. You can't just say I'm proud of you because like it it could sound to you, you know, could sound sarcastic. Right. And then really proud of you. That's awesome.
00:20:58
Speaker
You know, follow it up with ah to like a double whammy. I'm proud of you. That's great. Congratulations. Yeah. Like, dude, that's that's so amazing. That's awesome. I'm so i'm really proud of you. You know what? Or you just say, fuck yeah.
00:21:10
Speaker
Hell yeah. Yeah. And then, you know, fist bump or or ah bump chests. There is nothing more sincere. I got to tell you, as language has evolved over time, I have felt the the thing that I think truly even the most reserved person will allow to be genuine is just an honest to goodness. Fuck yeah.
00:21:31
Speaker
Oh, hell yeah. like Especially like you said, with a fist bump or a bro hug or whatever that may be, nobody can nobody will doubt that you feel what you feel if you let that out. like Even the most like sardonic of people will hear that and go, okay, that person, that that was real.
00:21:50
Speaker
When someone says, oh man, I just passed my exam. Fuck yeah, dude. No one's going to be upset by that. I don't care if all I did was take a shit. If I come out of that room and somebody goes, fuck yeah, dude I'm going to think this is the greatest shit ever. like and all I can't explain a good fuck. Yeah, dude is just Pete. It's just Pete.
00:22:10
Speaker
It's true. I'm only like thinking of it right now in this conversation about how fucking great it is to get a hell yeah or a fuck yeah. like just Even with the most mundane shit. You can't be like upset with yourself or anything. You have to be proud of whatever the hell you just did. If you tell somebody about it and like... Fuck yeah, dude.
00:22:31
Speaker
Dude, it's such a good because that's real energy that someone summoned to like throw at you to just like tell you like hey it's just pure excitement. It's pure energy. It's pure excitement. It's real.
00:22:43
Speaker
Like someone summoned that for you. Like I love that for you. It pales in comparison to a good fuck yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, Absolutely. Fuck yeah, dude. Oh, dude. Fuck yeah. The more gravel in it, the better it is.
00:22:58
Speaker
Dude. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. It's so good. Like, man, it just like, it just like you feel it in your chest. You feel it in your head. You feel it in your body. Just like trembling with this energy. energy Like, fuck yeah.
00:23:14
Speaker
Oh, man. I also like when the voice cracks or like the high pitch, like, fuck yeah. oh Oh, for sure. That's a good one, too. Because that comes from the anus and it comes all the way up. It takes every muscle on the way up.
00:23:29
Speaker
You gotta squeeze everything to get that. Fuck yeah! You're like one of those rubber chickens that lets out that. You know, just like, fuck yeah!
00:23:40
Speaker
That's what chickens are saying when they're really excited, like, fuck yeah! Fuck yeah! That's it. Chickens are just excited for us Well, now I don't ever want to eat a chicken again. well there you go. Be a vegetarian, Danny. Or just eat cabbage. I can't do that either. I'm sorry. um So I like that. I'm like having like a real big moment because even as we've been like jokingly saying it, it still feels good every time to say it. like it I'm smiling like hell yeah. face yeah smiling Just from going fuck yeah.
00:24:12
Speaker
that's ah Listen, that'll cure your depression, folks. Listen. Yeah. You know what they say? Like, if you're feeling upset, just smile because your brain attaches that to being happy.
Funeral Celebrations and Humor
00:24:22
Speaker
So it will start to make itself happy.
00:24:24
Speaker
Just give yourself a good old fashioned fuck app yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah, man. You know what? I'm the baller. Fuck yeah. like Even if you don't want to attach it to any like any success or anything, you just look yourself in the mirror, just just like start saying fuck yeah and the funniest. like it's hard to just It's hard to feel bad when you say fuck yeah.
00:24:46
Speaker
It's so true. it is hard to just feel bad like because like you're brand I don't know how to dig explain it, but just like you said, Danny, I've been grinning the whole fucking time. like what It's just so attached to being positive that you can't help but... like and You can't help but feel it.
00:25:03
Speaker
It's electric, Boogie Woogie Woogie. Hell yeah. ah Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah has a little bit more power to it, but a good hell yeah if you don't want to curse too hard. Like, hell yeah, dude. like Also, Liquid Death. I'm sorry we're saying fuck every two seconds in this episode.
00:25:17
Speaker
I swear we're not always like that, but if you want to sponsor us anyway, then fuck yeah! Hang on a second. I'm going to crack open this mango chainsaw right now. Hang on. Oh, man.
00:25:28
Speaker
Fuck yeah! Oh fuck yeah man. That's what's up. Fuck yeah dude. It just feels good. I forgot that was water and not tea so I got bubbles in my throat but it's okay.
00:25:44
Speaker
Fuck yeah mango chainsaw. It's just good shit. It's hard to feel bad. what You can't. You cannot feel bad. Just you know do it in private. Nobody needs you. Like if you're at like a sad thing, like, you know, a funeral or something and you're not feeling well, don't break this out in the middle of the. Oh, I would. I gave my brother's eulogy. I know you would.
00:26:08
Speaker
Absolutely. Because you just have to sometimes. that would be your eulogy. In the words of Adam. Fuck yeah. Fuck He put that on my tombstone. He was almost cool. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. id be Honestly, I'd be fine with it. I'm going to put it in my will.
00:26:31
Speaker
yeah there You know, my tombstone, please put adam Adam was almost cool. Fuck yeah. um Or fuck yeah, he was almost cool. Whichever one, I don't really care. Whatever one fits on the tombstone the best.
00:26:42
Speaker
um What do they call it in the paper? ah the Not the eulogy, the Are you talking about like where they like talk about the the dead person say like, oh, they were very lost. Oh, the yeah the obituary.
00:26:55
Speaker
The obituary. Your obituary is just going fuck yeah. ah You know what? That's true, because I don't know if if I'm dead, if someone's going to get me a tombstone, but it better be in my obituary. It better say, you know, I will do my best to make sure your obituary is just two words.
00:27:08
Speaker
Please reference this episode if I go anytime in the near future. We're going to bring this to your lawyer and say this is a legally binding will now. This is my legal signature, um verbal signature.
00:27:20
Speaker
If I die, you guys can write in my fucking obituary. Adam was almost cool. Dot, dot, dot. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Like it's and honestly, if anybody reads that, they just get like a little bit of a smirk.
00:27:34
Speaker
That means that I got to make somebody laugh one more fucking time. Well, it also depends. It also depends on how you die. If you do something awesome and it, you know, like you run back into a burning building and save somebody, but we lose you from it.
00:27:49
Speaker
I'm going to make sure your obituary says he was finally cool. Fuck yeah. You know what? That's fair. That's funny. He finally made it. He's cool. You could say he was finally cool, except when he went into that burning building, then he was kind of warm. was really hot.
00:28:03
Speaker
Yeah, he was really hot in that building. It's okay to joke about it. He said it was cool. Dot, dot, dot. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. I honestly, dude, like not to get too morose, but I would welcome that. Like if I were on my deathbed and somebody was like, what do you want us to do? And whatever, whatever, whatever.
00:28:21
Speaker
Genuinely, i would not care. i It doesn't have to be this big sad affair. I'm sure people are going to be grieving, certainly. But like if you want to fuck around with my obituary, if you want to spray paint my tombstone pink, if you want to make my goddamn...
00:28:35
Speaker
urn if you cremate me look like a big old wiener i don't care i genuinely don't care whatever it is that makes you feel something good like adam was a silly dude and this is a silly thing we're doing with whatever his remains are i don't care i'm in the same boat the sierra desert i'm in the same boat i want i want in death i want to be like i was in life i want to be something people can go to to feel better Absolutely. I like to cheer people up.
00:29:05
Speaker
I want to be able to do that from beyond the grave, even if it means, like you said, give me a big floppy wiener urn. I don't care. dead. i'm dead I don't give a shit. Big floppy wiener urn. Hashtag big floppy wiener urn.
00:29:19
Speaker
Crap, this is legally binding will. Shit. Well, Mbeluga's in trouble. Yeah. yeah I feel that. Yeah, it's such an important part of like and I learned that at my brother's funeral when like they they asked me to go get CDs from his car.
00:29:37
Speaker
They said, we should be playing music he likes. And, you know, they were like generally like kind of like some rock music or like some old. so He liked oldies. But then Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne came on and everybody was like, what the fuck is playing at this funeral? Like, hey, hey, you, you. I don't like Girlfriend.
00:29:54
Speaker
And they were like, and I went to the guy and I was like, oh shit, I forgot. He was like, he had a couple Avril Lavigne songs. Like, I didn't know that was on this mix. you want me to change it? And he was like, did your brother like this? And I was like, yeah. he's like, well then let it play.
00:30:07
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, you're fucking right. We're going to let girlfriend play. Go off Avril. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. And so like, I just thought like, absolutely. Like, you're right. That is exactly how it should be. This is music that he liked.
00:30:20
Speaker
Even if everybody else was like, this music isn't sad enough. Well, fuck you. he like i always like the idea that always like the idea that a funeral should be a celebration of their life, not a morning of their death.
00:30:32
Speaker
and Absolutely. Yeah. ah Look, I'm sorry i died. It sucks. Celebrate what I left behind. Like celebrate that life. That's what it says in your will. Sorry I died. It sucks.
00:30:45
Speaker
Don't feel sorry for me. i feel sorry for you that I'm not there anymore. You have to keep living on this stupid fucking planet. Sucks to suck.
Creative Clock-Related Wordplay
00:30:52
Speaker
I'll see you later. Peace, bitches. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Gandy out. I'm out.
00:31:03
Speaker
Now I want to make a video, Will, that's just like that. Absolutely. Like, you hey guys, sorry about the inconvenience. It sucks. Just start out like completely normal. Like, hello, my name is Danny. If you're watching this, I have passed on. Sucks to suck, Danny! out yeah Fucking sucks to suck.
00:31:24
Speaker
so You guys still got to pay taxes. Good luck with that global warming, brothers. Yeah, wait till the sun explodes and humanity goes extinct.
00:31:35
Speaker
Oh my God. me John, I'll see you in a couple of years if you don't eat better. was going to say, yeah, listen. You better start doing some strength training or that spine is going to break.
00:31:49
Speaker
um Yeah, so I just think – but that's exactly like this whole thing is just fuck yeah, right? Like you say fuck yeah and it just makes things feel good and it's like not – like Danny's life, fuck yeah, right? Adam's life, fuck yeah, right?
00:32:05
Speaker
It's just – like it doesn't – it is a great exclamation It is a great compliment. It is a great show of goodwill. It's just a good way to celebrate.
00:32:18
Speaker
It is such a good... It's just such a visceral... Yes. Fuck yeah. I can't even describe it greater than just it's a fuck yeah. Like it's just that vibe. It's like you tap into like this feral, carnal, just energy that most people don't use on a regular basis.
00:32:39
Speaker
And just for a brief moment, you could just to just fire it out like a fucking just cannonball and you're like, fuck yeah. Like no one says that. Well, I shouldn't say no one says it, but in most cases it comes out with like jubilance and vigor.
00:32:54
Speaker
It's like, fuck yeah. You could say like, I can't, I can't even like get myself to say without feeling. Exactly. it its just it Because it's almost like when you take a drink of something really good, like this delicious mango chainsaw from liquid death.
00:33:07
Speaker
um And you know, and then you let out that, ah, Right. Oh, it's like it's that that same feeling of like, fuck, yeah. Like it lets out that kind of stress bubble that lives in your chest. Right. Mm hmm.
00:33:23
Speaker
It's just a nice feeling. um So, yeah. What was the question? all right. Yeah. So I was going to say, so, Adam, getting back on track because we didn't get distracted at all today.
00:33:34
Speaker
What are we talking about? Is being told you do you a nicer way of saying go fuck yourself? It can be, but in most cases, no, that's not what it means.
00:33:45
Speaker
See, we never lost track of where we are. shut up. That's right. Now, now, now, is there a better way to encourage someone than to say you do you?
00:34:01
Speaker
To that, I say, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. ah There's actually another comment here I wanted to read. Does it say fuck yeah? It does not say fuck yeah. It's a better way to say ah go fuck yourself in a nice way. All right. So rather than saying you do you, ah there they agree with me. This is too many shoes, 14. Fuck yeah, too many shoes.
00:34:28
Speaker
yes say get to each if They agree with me saying it means you do what you want. I'll do what I want. We don't have to agree. If I want to tell somebody to go fuck themselves, I tell them to have a blessed day.
00:34:43
Speaker
Oh, yeah. oh dear And have a blessed day. Oh, man, that that that's a southern nephew. blessing Yeah, that's like a bless your heart kind of thing. Oh, bless your heart is.
00:34:53
Speaker
Oh, that just means you're dumb. They think you're an idiot. Oh, bless him. Bless his heart. Oh, man. Yeah. Bless your little heart. bless your little heart Oh, you think I'm an idiot. OK, great. Thanks.
00:35:04
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. We'll just say, oh, honey. Oh, geez. i' Have a day that you deserve. Oh, what did Mbeluga say? yeah Umbeluga umloga says, have the day that you deserve or have the kind of day you deserve. That's the one where you want them to know that you're saying fuck you. Yeah, that's yeah. Saying that's where you know you want them to to say fuck you. That's the one where you say, I want you to die. Yeah.
00:35:29
Speaker
it
00:35:32
Speaker
That's like, have the day you deserve. I hope it's your last. Oh my God. Do I hope you die? Fuck yeah. Fuck you.
00:35:44
Speaker
Yes, yeah. Have the day Have a blessed day. I hope you have the day you deserve. Fuck yeah. Have a blessed day. Oh, man. Oh, i can I before we wrap up, I want to change the subject slightly, but it it still involves like phrasing of things. Absolutely.
00:36:02
Speaker
And I've been workshopping trying to come up with like a new catchphrase for like, I'm going to kick your ass. Um, and so i've but I realized recently I've been saying clean your clock a lot.
00:36:14
Speaker
So I've been trying to come up with a better way to say it. That's like kind of funnier, but more elongated. Like, i don't know, like an English professor or like a ye olde knight would say it. Okay. So I was, I was workshopping some ideas and I was kind of want to get your opinion. Cause one of them was like, instead of like, I'm going to clean your clock. It's like, I'm going to sanitize your time piece was one that I was thinking about.
00:36:38
Speaker
I'm going to pujle your punctuality. Yeah. like like I want to say, like you know how we talked about flush that, you bitch? like i was thinking, like or if you or if you just like did something to someone, you say, oh man, his timepiece has been sanitized. I was trying to come with a way to restructure, clean your clock. um you know so I didn't know if you had any other ideas, but like bribe it was either it was either sanitize your timepiece or ah
00:37:10
Speaker
wash and rinse your time no that wasn't it I had another word that was sanitize or it was another three syllable word I can't remember but ah timepiece is only thing I could think of but I was like you know there could be other ways to gonna have to think on this one I'm sure I can come up with a very stupid one Yeah, like I'm going to cleanse your hourglass. you know I'm just trying to think. you know like don't know. like i go i'm gonna um ah i'm going to I'm going to dust off your sundial or some shit. Sanitize your sundial. I like that one. Oh, sanitize your sundial. so It's like crunchitize me, Captain.
00:37:49
Speaker
Yeah. It's got that alliteration in there. It has that flow. Sanitize your sundial. Sanitize your sundial. That's good, Danny. That's good. I gotta write that down.
00:38:01
Speaker
That's good. Sanitize your sundial. I'm gonna sanitize sundial, bitch. and yeah Yeah, consider your sundial sanitized, bitch. Looks like this sundial has been sanitized.
00:38:16
Speaker
um Yeah, it's got, ah yeah, I was like, yeah, Sanitize Your Sundial definitely has the same kind of cadence as Crunchitize Me, Captain. I can't unhear that. like Dude, its that is a deep cut too. That's bringing me back. It's like iambic pentameter. Crunchitize me, Captain. Oh my god. Sanitize your sundial.
00:38:36
Speaker
Like it has the same cadence to it. Oh, that's good. Crunchitize me, Captain. Your captain has been crunchitized. You have been crunchitized by the captain.
00:38:47
Speaker
but Yeah, man. Yeah, sanitizer sundial is good. i was just I was trying to come up with just different ways to clean one's clock, and so I just kind of wanted to put that out into the universe. Maybe we make a shirt that has someone just cleaning a clock.
00:38:59
Speaker
I'm going to air blast your minute hand.
00:39:05
Speaker
because i was trying to think like how would you actually clean a clock right you wouldn't just dunk it in water you'd probably like air blast it or something let's see uh synonyms for clean all right you do that how do you clean ah clock i mean as a verb here we go cleanse wipe scrub scour, swab, shampoo, disinfect.
00:39:31
Speaker
Was it disinfect your sundial? Disinfect your timepiece? It might have been disinfect your timepiece is what I was thinking of. um I'm going to. Let's see, where was the verb versions at?
00:39:45
Speaker
I'm going to dry clean your your minute hand or some shit
00:39:52
Speaker
shit. So you also have to polish, also known as burnishing. I'm going to burnish your going to burnish your going to burnish your timepiece.
00:40:04
Speaker
I need it is there a we're on to something. i like the word burnish a lot. Burnish is such a good. I'm going to burnish your klepsahydra. Klepshydra. No, I'm going to burnish your cuckoo clock. No, I'm going to burnish your chronograph.
00:40:25
Speaker
different is a good word clock types stopwatch there's gotta be like a good one that just starts with a b yeah i was trying to find like styles and i'm sorry everybody if you were here for anything that's not this your big ben i'm gonna burnish your big ben like that i'm gonna burnish your benjamin i'm gonna cauterize your cuckoo clock oh fuck dude that's awesome but Fuck yeah!
00:40:53
Speaker
Fuck yeah! so Say it again. i'm gonna cauterize your cuckoo clock. Oh dude, cauterize your cuckoo clock is fucking good. Oh my god. I'm gonna cauterize your chronometer.
00:41:07
Speaker
yeah
00:41:12
Speaker
That's awesome, that's really good. That's really good. I like cauterize a lot. That's a really fucking good one. I'm trying to find like good alliteration ones. And we got wristwatch. I'm going to wrangle your wristwatch. i'm gonna I'm going to... I'm going to wipe your wristwatch.
00:41:28
Speaker
I'm going to wipe your wristwatch.
00:41:31
Speaker
I'm going to rinse your wristwatch. That's hard. I'm going to rinse your watch. andnna I'm going to dry clean your watch. I'm going to baby wipe. I'm going to baby wipe your stopwatch.
00:41:43
Speaker
Half of these just sound like weird sex things. Yeah. ah what What are those... um how about I'm going to pine saw your stopwatch oh I don't like the way that sounds that sounds dirty okay I love actually I should say I love the way that sounds but it sounds really dirty going get your hourglass and pine saw I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to lemon zest no that's it
00:42:15
Speaker
I'm going to don dish soap your sundial. now ah like i like I like cauterize a lot. but Is cauterize being clean? I thought it just meant like to burn something. Well, you're doing that to close the wound and disinfect it.
00:42:28
Speaker
That's true. That's true. Yeah. I'm going to tide pod your timepiece. Oh, I like that. I'm going to tide pod your timepiece. so i actually i like that i'm going to tiepod your time piece
00:42:44
Speaker
I don't know. I just been thinking about it a lot. And like the other day I was, I forget what I was playing. Oh, I was playing seven days to die. And like, I was just like, i have like a punchy punch build. And so I just drank like a bunch of beer and started of punching like 12 zombies that ambushed me in a house and like real glowy ones too. Like a Friday night. Yeah.
00:43:04
Speaker
Yeah. And I got out like on a, like just with like a scratch. Cause I have an ability that like, if you start to bleed and you kill something with your fist, it cauterizes your wound and you don't bleed anymore. And so like, like and when it was all done, I was just like, ah, continue, you consider your time piece sanitized.
00:43:20
Speaker
And was like, it's kind of like, I was trying to come up with better ways to say shit like that. Cause I started saying flush that you bitch again, since we mentioned it last time. And so I was like, I got to come up with a better way to say like, clean your time piece or clean your clock.
00:43:33
Speaker
As I consider your clock. Here we go. I'm going to disinfect your desk clock. Oh, desk clock. Interesting. I like that. That's good. um I do want to get a good one for hourglass, though, because that's just so.
00:43:46
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to.
00:43:50
Speaker
I'm going to swab your hourglass.
00:43:56
Speaker
I'm going to cotton swab your hourglass. I'm going to... going to Q-tip your hourglass. Oh, yeah. I'm going to rinse your hourglass. I'm going to wash your hourglass.
00:44:11
Speaker
That's such overkill.
00:44:15
Speaker
just stick an hourglass on the little conveyor belt I'm gonna sandblast your hourglass ooh I like that I like that one a lot fuck yeah I'm gonna sandblast your hourglass
00:44:30
Speaker
that's just recycling yeah that's all it is that's a good one that's great i was saying I'm gonna send it back to the earth once a again sandblast your hourglass it also kind of rhymes but not really Blast and glass. It's kind of in there.
00:44:46
Speaker
Sam, blast your hourglass. Yeah. Consider your hourglass bla blasted.
00:44:56
Speaker
See, kind of this is the kind of brainpower we need to put towards shit. Absolutely. I'm so glad that we you decided to do this while recording TOQ. Everybody needs to be here for this.
00:45:06
Speaker
Everybody needs to here for this magical moment where we change the English language forever. Yeah, this this beautiful meeting of the minds. Yeah, listen, don't get your hourglass sandblasted, okay? Like, listen, we're all in this together. Yeah, let's not cauterize any cuckoo clocks over here.
00:45:23
Speaker
yeah Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. we We need to make sure that we disinfect our sundials appropriately. so So like, you know, it's it's a it's this this was what I was hoping it would be. I was hoping that you would feel like compelled to Google search as much as I did and just start coming up with
Seasonal Music and Parody Songs
00:45:43
Speaker
combinations. of oh absolutely.
00:45:45
Speaker
oh my God. it's Fun. Adam, there's one called sweep clocks. What the fuck's a sweep clock? I don't know, but like, that's perfect. We need a good one for a sweep clock.
00:45:57
Speaker
I'm going to sleep rock your sleep clock. It has a sweep clocks have a silent, smooth movement of the second hand without ticking. Oh, yeah. they're for bedrooms, libraries or offices where silence is cherished. Oh, I see. Right. So the hand just kind of moves in a consistent.
00:46:13
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Rather than ticking. I didn't know those were called sweep clocks. Those are called sweep clocks, apparently. <unk>s not that tick I'm going swab your sweep clock. Swab your sweep... I keep thinking it's supposed to be sleep clock, and I keep thinking sweep clock is wrong.
00:46:29
Speaker
Swab your sweep clock. Yeah, going to keep thinking it should be sleepwalk. Or should it just be, going to sweep your sweep clock? It could be that. I'm going to... I'm going to...
00:46:41
Speaker
I'm going to mop up your sweep clock. I'm going to mop your sweep clock. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, man, we are so intimidating. I'm going to just imagine somebody walks up to you and says something like, i'm going to sandblast your hourglass. Uh,
00:46:58
Speaker
i I'm going to run for my life. Either that or you're going to totally defuse the situation because someone's going to be like, what fuck did you just say? And then you go. Oh, yeah. Well, what? And then you go you know, clean your clock. I was kind of going for that. But did you know about sweep clocks? Do you know what those are? Do you know like you know where the second hand just moves like on its own without ticking?
00:47:19
Speaker
And then like you smash cut and we're all like at a public library, like leaning over a computer like, oh, fuck, you're right. That's what that is. Shit. We're all just holding drinks like, that's what I told going to sandblast your hourglass. Oh, man. And I was like, what? And now we know what sweep clocks are. That's crazy. I was like, fuck yeah, dude.
00:47:37
Speaker
Yeah. then I was like, you know, I'm going to... What's something else you used to tell time with? Church bells. Right. Bells, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they use bells to let you know what time it is and shit.
00:47:49
Speaker
Candles. There's... um certain candles with like every hour is marked by like some gunpowder or something. Oh, interesting.
00:48:00
Speaker
At the right amount. Yeah. So like every hour, the gunpowder will go off and you'll just hear like a little crackle. I don't know what that's called, though. Cauterizer calendar. Yeah.
00:48:16
Speaker
what are those things called just like a candle hourglass i guess i'm uh it's it's just a candle clock i guess candle timer i'm going to annihilate your advent calendar because this christmas is coming up in a year so so festive ah They play Christmas music right now, and I'm so excited about it.
00:48:41
Speaker
When I went to visit my parents, every time we got in the car, their default like station that it was set to started playing Christmas music. And I was like, you will change that immediately. i hate it.
00:48:54
Speaker
It was like November sixth i'm like, the we are changing this now. We need more music. Just about the season of autumn. OK, let's just have that.
00:49:05
Speaker
You know, and on let's start making Halloween and Thanksgiving music to replace. There's plenty of Halloween music, but like once November hits, there's fucking nothing but Christmas for 60 days.
00:49:17
Speaker
And I hate it. Yeah, me too. hate it. ah yeah I like Christmas well enough. I just hate Christmas music and I hate that it starts like mid-October sometimes.
00:49:28
Speaker
Yeah, it's just i hate how workers down your throat. It should be December only. It's all I'm saying. It should be December only, and I don't need to hear it twenty four seven It should be like, leaves, leaves, leaves on the fucking ground.
00:49:42
Speaker
Shit, that's crazy. They don't even make a sound when they fall. You know, like we can make songs like that. Look at all the colors. Isn't it grand? Leaves, fuck yeah, in your hand or something, you know.
00:49:56
Speaker
So you just. Fuck yeah. Leaves, fuck yeah.
00:50:04
Speaker
Yeah, it's just, you know, it's just like, that's what it should be. It's just, you know, for the people who don't get Autumn the same way, they can appreciate the music. Or you can say, like, shit like, you know, I don't know, getting chilly outside, shit.
00:50:21
Speaker
Light jacket season, shit. Wear that petticoat, shit. You know, put on the layer, shit. Yeah.
00:50:30
Speaker
What are you, a modern day pop star just like rhyming the same word five times? Limp Bizkit used to rhyme the same fucking word all the time. Oh my god. be like, back the fuck up before we fucked this track up.
00:50:44
Speaker
And now he's a pro-Russian turd. So, you know, people change. it's All I'm saying is like, you know, you can we need more autumn autumnal music and less Christmas music. Because quite frankly, let's be real, they play the same 12 fucking songs, but covered by 13 different artists.
00:51:03
Speaker
And it's the same fucking song, just with some other asswipe being like, oh, oh, oh. It's cold outside. It's like, i don't fucking care. It's the same dumbass song. I'm tired of hearing it. Make some new ones or get the fuck out of the way.
00:51:15
Speaker
Right. just there There's got to be a better way. Why do we need 18 renditions of Baby It's Cold Outside? The fucking creepy ah winter song. Or why can't we just have one called Fucking Snowballs Hurt Sometimes? They're like, make that song.
00:51:31
Speaker
You know, I don't know. It's just, oh man, I was in a snowball fight and there was ice in that one. Damn it. you know Now I'm going to the hospital. My head's bleeding.
00:51:41
Speaker
My driveway is full ice and I slipped in shit. Like, like I'd rather you just make winter songs that aren't Christmas, things that are relatable, you know, like a nice driveway is black ice. I slipped in shit.
00:51:54
Speaker
ah fell. My legs spread apart and I did a split. I did a split, but my dick's still there. Fuck yeah. You know? It's like there's things like make more relatable winter songs versus just Christmas.
00:52:08
Speaker
Like if we want if you don't want to say happy holidays, fine. Let's not make Christmas at all. Let's just make it winter. Fucking it's cold shit. Like a nice sickle almost appilled my cat shit.
00:52:21
Speaker
Or like, ah man, my air is low and or my tires low on air and I got to go fill it up and it's cold outside shit. You like the things that make everybody go, oh, man, I relate to that or like, you know what? I canceled all my plans because I don't want to go outside because I'm already warm. I got you. I got you.
00:52:37
Speaker
ah Our new number one hit single, Frostbite on my Weenus. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, Frostbite on my Weenus.
00:52:48
Speaker
You know, it's just... I'll say, listen, folks, I know this is this this sounds like it's not important, but what I'm saying... But it is utmost importance.
00:53:00
Speaker
I think that what really makes people... even the people who love Christmas and I live with one. The thing is, it's like, you can love Christmas, but Christmas music, I think we can all agree that like, especially because it plays way too long and the same cycle, it's the same playlist over and over and over again.
00:53:23
Speaker
Like, if we just changed up the dynamic a bit to like, oh man, it's going to be winter soon or I fuck it's almost ah winter jacket weather, like just relatable songs that we can all understand and be like, ah man, I've been there.
00:53:39
Speaker
Like, you know, that's what we need. We don't need to hear what's the other, what um what's another jingle bells? How many fucking verses? Or ah yeah I love the jingle bell rock as much as an ex guy, but it plays too fucking much.
00:53:55
Speaker
You know, like there's gotta be more Christmas tree. I'm so done. Grandma got ran over by a reindeer is kind of funny. Yeah, but that one's like a one-eyed one horn flying purple people leader kind of song. Yeah. where like Like, you know, I saw Mama kissing Santa Claus and she'd be like, i saw Mama falling in the driveway.
00:54:14
Speaker
Like, because there's ice and dad forgot to let her know, you know, like shit like that. Look, these are all rough drafts. All right. It'll get better. I promise. Yeah. Snow blowing is fun. blowing is fun.
00:54:31
Speaker
yeah I feel like a ghost buster in the snow. and like You can sing songs like that, right? Danny, was you know those old like commercials they would do where they would like be pitching like an album of sorts and they would play like little snippets and you'd see the names of the titles going up on the screen? oh yeah, and some of them are in purple and that's the ones you're listening to. that's the one that's playing and it's like with such hits as mom fell in the driveway again yeah mom fell in the driveway again yeah or frostbite on my weenus god damn it there's frostbite on my weenus and i don't know how to get it didn't even feel it because who feels their weenus
00:55:08
Speaker
No one feels their weenus when there's frostbite on it. Jack Frost is nipping at my weenus. You know, like there's... yeah it's Jack Frost is nipping at my weenus.
00:55:23
Speaker
Why is he always going after toes? Is he a foot freak? He might go after a penis. He might be. Jack Frost nipping at your toes. Why, you fucking freak? That's what I want to know. Going for them dogs. Gotta get them g grippers.
00:55:35
Speaker
Yeah, let's let's elaborate on that a little bit, you know? Like, ah what the fuck is Bobtail? No one knows, but it's in a song we sing all the time. The sleighs on Bobtail ring?
00:55:46
Speaker
What's Bobtail? No one knows. Is that the, is Bob the deer? Bob is that other reindeer that nobody talks about at the back. Right. Dasher Dancer, Prancer Vixen, Comic Keeper, Donner Blitz, and Bob.
00:55:59
Speaker
I'm impressed that you actually knew all of the deer. Why would I not know all the deer? I don't know any of them. What the fuck? Really? Yes. I mean, I know some of them. Have you seen Jingle All the Way?
00:56:12
Speaker
God, not in a very long time. Remember Arnold Schwarzenegger has to chant it as he's running down towards the radio station because he can't remember them all. So he's like, oh, Dasha, Dasha, Prance, Vixen, come keep the dawn of blitz and Dasha, Dasha, Prance. Is that how you remember them?
00:56:26
Speaker
Probably.
00:56:30
Speaker
there's i don't There's a reason I remember. i don't Wasn't there a song? On Dasher, on Dancer, on Dancer. Whenever I get to that part, I'm like... That's the beginning of the Rudolph song.
00:56:45
Speaker
They're in Blitzen. right
00:56:49
Speaker
That's crazy. I just found another friend of mine doesn't know all of them either. I just thought everybody knew the reindeer. No. I was too busy learning about like the nativity and the three wise men and their gold frankincense and myrrh, how they followed the North Star, how there was a fourth wise man that was a day behind all of them and could never keep up Yeah, and he was yeah that was Bob. That was Bobtail. That was Bobtail.
00:57:11
Speaker
He had to get a sled to like catch up. He needed bells on his tail and stuff. Yeah, let him know. like hey well he was He was a furry, so he had one of those clip-on tails. Yeah, yeah, but you know the they didn't call him that in the in the good book. Well, yeah, I mean, you know this is something main mainstream Christianity doesn't want you to know.
00:57:30
Speaker
Right. See, but we could have a song about it. Bobtail was a furry, baby. what
00:57:39
Speaker
Bobtail was a furry. Fuck yeah! yeah yeah When he went to visit Christ that Christmas day, Christ said, fuck yeah, daddy. Like it's just. Everybody brought cold frankincense and myrrh. He brought. you i don't even know what myrrh is, but Bobtail brought me chicken nuggets.
00:57:58
Speaker
like Chicken nuggets. He brought me chicken nuggets. Yeah. Bobtail brought me baby formula and that's what I can eat. You know, like what the fuck is frankincense?
00:58:09
Speaker
No one knows. That's not anything. my God. But my point is this, is that autumn and winter could have way more diversity and people like me would be far less exhausted by it if we just...
00:58:23
Speaker
It just makes me really want to cauterize someone's cuckoo clock every time I fucking hear. Dude, I hear you. Like the 19th version of, and you know what, Mariah Carey, go back to sleep.
00:58:34
Speaker
Your song is old hat. Make a new one. It's over. I hate it. Do something different with your life, okay? I know you're riding on those residuals until you die. I was going residuals are probably keeping her like a millionaire Absolutely it is. Donate that money to charity, you fucking slagathor woman. Whoa, whoa, whoa. what You think we're supposed to give around Christmas? night I don't know if she's a good person or not, but I just hate that song.
00:58:59
Speaker
I hate it so much. I'm sorry, Slagathor. I mean, Mariah Carey. I'm sorry. But the point is,
00:59:08
Speaker
is that I just need to be mad at someone and sanitize their timepiece. Yeah, I mean, sometimes, look, sometimes you just got to pick somebody and just say, fuck you. I'm going sandblast your hourglass. Yeah, sandblast that hourglass. I'm going to sandblast your hourglass.
00:59:27
Speaker
Sandblast your hourglass is pretty funny, though. Oh, man. I'm going to write that down before I forget. Sandblast. Sandblast your hourglass. Your hourglass. Sandblast your hourglass. New shirt ideas.
00:59:41
Speaker
Sandblast your hourglass. that's a good idea. And cauterize your cuckoo clock. Oh, that's good. That's good. It can be like a stick figure with a flamethrower firing it at a cuckoo clock.
00:59:54
Speaker
Cauterize your cuckoo clock. Same thing. Just have that same stick figure replace the fire with sand and he's blasting it. There you go. You know, send your submissions for sandblaster hourglass or sanitizer sundial or, you know, any of the other funny things we said. to We might throw it on a shirt, but we're not going to pay for it.
01:00:12
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not going to pay you for it. and just You can sign it, though, and we can you can your name can be on it. There you go. We'll pay an exposure. Yeah, we're going to pay you. God, I hate us so much right now. I've become that which I've hated. Oh, God. Oh, man. We are Mariah Carey now.
01:00:34
Speaker
Oh, Fuck.
Positive Farewell and Audience Appreciation
01:00:36
Speaker
All I want for Christmas is to pay you an exposure. Yeah. At least we don't have to worry about being copyright struck by that song without we just saying it.
01:00:48
Speaker
That's true. No one's even going to want to like play this again. They're going to they're going to pay us to not do it again. So that's how you make money. Oh, Shazam just crashed. Shout out if you remember what Shazam is. i remember Kazam. That was a movie starring Shaquille O'Neal. Oh, my God. You just blew mine out of the water. My God. That's an old movie, isn't it? Yeah, and it wasn't great either. He was like a genie or some shit.
01:01:16
Speaker
I hate to be that guy. I don't think any Shaquille O'Neal movie was all that good. i think he also played Steel, which was like a superhero movie based on the DC character. Didn't he also do?
01:01:29
Speaker
Wasn't there one where he was like a ninja? Shaq Fu. Oh, Shaq Fu. Was that a movie or was that just like a video game? was video game.
01:01:40
Speaker
It was a video game. Right. Also not great. Yeah. And then Aaron Carter made that song about beating up Shaq or something. I don't know. that was a day I mean, don't get me wrong.
01:01:51
Speaker
Shaq actually seems like a very cool person in real life. He genuinely seems like a nice dude. He genuinely seems cool. It's just... I aspire to be more like Shaq and less like Mariah Carey.
01:02:03
Speaker
I think that's a good way. You know, fuck yeah, man. Fuck yeah, man. did Speaking of fuck yeah, why don't we round out this episode? It's been ah an hour. It's been an hour. Yeah, this was a quickie. This was supposed to be a quickie, but we didn't do it.
01:02:15
Speaker
Yeah, we didn't do that. That's fine. Look, we got sidetracked and it was a great episode. I'm still laughing. was going to say, it's great yeah i think that I think the thing to take away from today's episode is that if you in earnest want to greet somebody and compliment them or, or psych them up or hype them up for,
01:02:37
Speaker
something they're happy or proud about a good fuck yeah or hell yeah goes a long way oh yeah hell yeah is a good good replacement if you don't if you don't want to fuck and you want to hell then hell yeah you know and just ride that wave and say it with sincerity and they will feel the energy from your heart and it will make them feel it'll tickle that little part of their brain that lets out the dopamine and it'll make them feel good So that's what you should take away from today and make sure to Santa, sanitize your clocks at least annually.
01:03:11
Speaker
Anyway, I'm cutting that one off. Okay. Why don't you go ahead and yeah send us out, Danny. um Listen, you know, this is usually the part. let Everybody listening. You listening? Good. at you Hey, night yeah turn around.
01:03:27
Speaker
This is the part where I usually say that we are you know very thankful to have each and every one of you ah listening, and I still feel that way, absolutely. I'm very gracious for each and every person that listens.
01:03:39
Speaker
ah But I'm going to summarize it very quickly. Fuck yeah, you. Fuck yeah, you! Fuck yeah, every single one of you listening. Fuck yeah! You're the best! You're the bomb!
01:03:51
Speaker
Fucking hell yeah, dude. Bob.com. Boss mode. Girl boss. Let's fucking go. Fuck yeah. it's You short king. You girl boss. You whatever the hell you want be. Fuck yeah, dude. Get that shit. Finish those reports.
01:04:08
Speaker
Download that game. Beat that shit. Get that car. Buy that microtransaction. clean that clock. on Sam blast that hourglass. Sam blast that hourglass. Sam blast that hourglass.
01:04:22
Speaker
And don't forget to hydrate. And don't forget to hydrate or dihydrate. Dihydrate, baby. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.