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Forkers 1-4: Clean up on BX-05
152 Plays1 year ago
Today, The Forkers head to Custodia where someone has invented... CAPITALISM. Prepare for a squeaky clean adventure and also kinda dirty at the same time o.O
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Transcript
Introduction and Character Recap
00:00:00
Speaker
You ready for a theme song? Hang tight. 12 to belong. Hold up and keep your socks on. Get ready for the fork and theme song. All right. Pardon me, do you have to break the pond? Don't get ready for the fork and theme song. Can't remember if I left the oven hot. Get ready for the fork and theme song. Great! No time to run, America. Gotta end them by the fork and theme song. Woo! Doing the thing. All right, we're back into it. Okay, everybody ready?
00:00:28
Speaker
I'm ready. Hi. Are you ready kids? I'm ready. Well, I thought I'd get everybody to say aye aye captain. Aye aye captain. That's past, I don't care about it anymore. Morning, good afternoon and good evening, ladies and gentlemen, non-binary folks of the universe is known and unknown. This is role players and welcome back to Four Curs episode four. Four Curs.
00:00:52
Speaker
And we've got Cass and Justin and Adrian here playing Sasha and the other ones. Baxter and Vx05. That was it. Vx4ker. Vx4ker. It's almost Vx5ker. And so what happened last time? Adrian, what did you do last time? Last time I arrived at Sketland, Vx did a lot of dancing.
00:01:21
Speaker
He didn't really dance before. Figured it out. Yeah. That's all that happened. That's all that happened. Yeah. I was going to say he made it about him. It wasn't we went anywhere. It was I went to Scatland and I did a dance. Of course you asked me what I did, not what we did. Well, you know, I meant like you, like the general usage of you, not you specifically, but I see where the disruption could be. All right. So let's go individually. What did Dustin Wood Baxter do?
00:01:47
Speaker
He went on the computer and found out where the guy lived and had a weird interaction with a snake. And then he went to the house with the guy with the team. Am I allowed to say we all did together when we got together? Because at a certain point, I wasn't by myself anymore. Yeah, that works. You went to hat. We helped him help the guy do his thing he wanted to do with music. Or he didn't want to do. Didn't know he wanted to do. Right.
00:02:12
Speaker
Swasha like played a saxophone with the guy and got him all motivated and made him like the bestest jazz player in the world. Yeah. And it's all because Scat Bunny, he was a big rising star and then he had a bad, not even a bad comment, an indifferent comment on his boobtube channel. And then that broke his heart and then he fell into a depression and didn't want to do it
Return to Chorgonmemon and Next Destination Debate
00:02:34
Speaker
anymore. And then I think he went and, you know, did something for other impoverished people and helped them get
00:02:40
Speaker
Opportunities or something so I think I had a happy ending and they gave you a bunch of money and underwear thrown packages of underwear We're thrown all over the stage from from the vending machine. I'm never gonna run out of underwear again Yeah, you guys cashed in all those undies for money anyway Okay, so you guys left scat land you are back on
00:03:05
Speaker
the place, the back on your ship, Chorgonmemon. Chorgonmemon. Chorgonmemon. He's mean, and he's the mean in Chorgonmemon. You guys are back on the ship. You guys just finished your thing with Scatland. You got all your monies. You can return to the Chronosphere if you like, or you can choose a new location. More have been updated on your database. So commence. You're on Chorgonmemon. Okay.
00:03:32
Speaker
That was a good show, you guys. We did a very good job. Sorry, I was doing the wrong accent for a second there. You know, BX, I've been thinking it's pretty weird, right? I learned how to speak when I went into space and became intelligent. Yes. But I was from Russia. I'd speak English, but it was a Russian accent. Isn't that weird? I don't even know Russian. It's weirdest thing. I mean, that's as sweet as English people speaking American.
00:04:02
Speaker
You're not wrong. Anyway, where are we going? What do you guys want to do? Everybody knows that space speaks English. Everyone. We all know that. Every alien that comes to Earth to invade goes to America, speaks English, and worries about what the president thinks. Exactly. It's true.
00:04:26
Speaker
Um, I don't know. I look for some more adventures. Me too. I really don't like going as we can avoid it. We don't go back there. I think it was a pretty fun place. I mean, it's nice to get out of stretchy legs, but we did it on the planet. So it's okay. What do you all want to do? You're not wrong.
00:04:47
Speaker
Well, I'm looking at the map here, guys. It looks like our little galactic map, intro spell, planetary map, whatever it is. Our next little path along here, we got that custodia planet. That's, you know, might as well just go on a line, you know? What do you think? Oh, you could go to plot land. You know what I mean? What's plot land? It has a lot of plot. Movie character needs three other movies. Oh, well. You'd like me to recap.
00:05:17
Speaker
No, it's all right. Um, you guys want to be, um, looks like we got to help some movie people and plot land or, uh, the janitors in custodia, uh, against capitalism, which I'm kind of keen on.
Arrival and Exploration of Custodia
00:05:29
Speaker
All of you become actors in custodia. I mean, you could be an actor in custodia, but that's not what you're supposed to do. I'm trying to make time implode upon itself, you little son of a bitch.
00:05:42
Speaker
Well, I'm voting custodia, just for convenience of driving planeship into there. Well, BX wants to go to Ploth Place, Visasha Breaking Tie. Yeah. What do you have to do? Don't pick a third place because that's what really fucked things up. Otherwise, we'll have to roll a dice and let Lady Look decide. We'll have to ask Morgan Cheamonn where he wants to go, and he's a Morgan Memen. Memenon. That's what they call me. I mean, I could go to the clean planet. I could use a good scrubbin.
00:06:11
Speaker
I didn't want to say anything, but yes, you could. Damn, you are in chilok. Adrian asked to wait one more episode to go to plotland. There's also a planet place, you guys. I just saw that. Fuck, where are they going? It's close to Vacuum City, furniture. All right, we're going to Custodia then. All right, Custodia, recap. A land that is always squeaky clean because all residents believe that a clean home leads to a clean life.
00:06:40
Speaker
Your mission is to find, uh, find out about a woman named Sylvia Pine Solve, cause she has decided that instead of cleaning the world for free, she's going to force people to pay her for her services. And she's deviated from her life of peaceful community servitude in exchange for paid services. Temporal side effect has emerged causing the pro janitor virus, which causes anyone who pays her for service to let their filth spread until they can afford to pay for cleaning services again. So, you know, go deal with that.
00:07:10
Speaker
Copy that. Press button to fly there automatically. Oh, we're already there. Oh, dang, that was quick. Yeah, it was right down the road. That's why I wanted to go on the track. You know, zoom right there. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Yeah, it was quite all right. It was a pretty leisurely ride. Indeed. Good job, Morgan.
00:07:36
Speaker
I don't know what to say. Moving on. He doesn't, his programming does not do such kindness. Come on, let's get off the ship. Poop is down there, buddy. Do you want anything, do you want to take anything with you before you go? I pretty much got everything I need. I thought you guys saw what you guys... I want to take my dancing shoes again. You never know when you're going to need those. Yeah.
00:08:00
Speaker
I think I might leave my saxophone here because I don't want those guys touching it because it's much better when you have it all seasoned from the spit for the long time of playing it so you want to keep it.
00:08:17
Speaker
They understand completely if you say keep it seasoned with the spit. Yeah Season with the spit Just say that I can relate but I can't I'm sorry Sasha
00:08:45
Speaker
You know, it's I'll just leave it here because I don't want them to clean it. It's fine. I'll take my slingshot, though, because it needs a good polish. Oh, yeah, I love polishing a good slingshot. Yeah, it'll like it. Maybe it'll like shoot better if it's like nice and clean, because it's been a while. It looks a little it looks a little icky. So it needs a good rubbing. Yes. Oh, by the way, just as a quick little tangent, Adrian, I just noticed that your
00:09:16
Speaker
name on Zencaster is BxO Forker and that sounds like the Irish version of your character.
00:09:30
Speaker
What did you say? I expired it now. We have to make an Irish robot meet us one day then. Yeah. If Adrian kills his character, he'll have to come back as BXO for good. It counts backwards until BX0 and then I'll just completely die. Yeah, and then you're gone, yeah. Okay, so Chorgen Memen grabs you guys with the tendrils and chucks you down towards Custodia.
00:09:58
Speaker
And you guys, as you guys are approaching the land, you smell like a lemony, fresh zest. Except for you, BX, you don't smell anything, but your sensors tell you that's what the smell is around you.
Lab Discovery and Comedic Experimentation
00:10:11
Speaker
It smells very yellow.
00:10:21
Speaker
He smells very yellow. I like that BX smells in color. He walks into a dirty bathroom and smells like brown in here. I got to talk to you later. I was messing with his wiring and I think I crossed his wires.
00:10:42
Speaker
That's really funny that you did that, okay? I'm not gonna tell him, alright? Is that how it's supposed to work?
00:10:49
Speaker
Yes, VX. Smells like red here. You smell red. Your feet smell like green. OK, so you guys slide down onto the squeaky clean streets of Custodia, but you do notice it. I mean, it's it's squeaky clean until you kind of get closer to the neighborhood. You guys are like on the outskirts of the street coming into the town of Custodia, on the planet of Custodia and the world of Custodia.
00:11:20
Speaker
Everything is just custodia. Everything is custodia. As far as the eye can see, everywhere the light touches is custodia. I like it. So you guys are on the cleaner streets, but as you guys walk more into town, you do notice that while it is squeaky clean for the most part, there are a few buildings that look like there's a few specks of dust that are very apparent even to the untrained eye for cleanliness. You do notice there are
00:11:46
Speaker
little flecks of dust on buildings that there aren't on others. Some are kind of a little grayer than they should be. Maybe they died. Yeah, you can go check. But yeah, but what do you think a town called Custodia, aside from the chemtness of it, would look like Adrian BX?
00:12:07
Speaker
I think the town would look at all painted in our white color because that's like the purest of all colors. Well, white is encompassing of all the colors. White is the void of all the colors.
00:12:26
Speaker
No, black is devoid of all color. No, black has every color and whites have all color. I think you're backwards out of me. I think Katie's right. No, and here's why. If you shoot a white light through a prism, all the other colors come out. That's what it means to encompass all the colors is when you shoot a light through the prism, that's where the color comes from. Maybe yes, maybe no.
00:12:50
Speaker
Maybe, maybe, I don't know. But Adrian says, wasn't talking about science. He was talking about the weird way that humanity has thought of colors and they say white is purity. So because of people are, because of, because of whiteness. Yeah. I'm just saying that's where in science, white is the encompassing of all the colors. Black is the absence of color. White reflects the heat of the sun more better.
Search and Confrontation with Sylvia Pinesall
00:13:37
Speaker
You guys accidentally walked into, like, a science lab where you guys are wandering around. It's a squeaky clean lab with clean fingers everywhere. And you just overheard a discussion of, like, a bunch of nerdy, like, actually,
00:13:48
Speaker
Science says, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. If you've heard about fire science. I'm sorry, did you say fire science? Yes, you say fire science. What is it? What is this fire science you speak of? Fire science is a fire of science. Wow. See you later. Really clean the place up. You got to burn that shit down, brother. That's real quick.
00:14:15
Speaker
All of these chemicals we clean with are highly flammable, so we don't bring any idiot. And you know, if you burn things with fire science, they are as pure as can be. Fire is encompassing of all the colors. Fire is all colors, guys. It's not white or black. It's fire. White is white, guys. It's one color.
00:14:39
Speaker
You're my fire. It don't matter if you're black or white. Let's leave this. I don't know why we walked in here. What the hell? I thought it was you to walk into the lab. Like when you're chit-chat with your friends in the mall and just kind of roaming the stores and shit. You guys just like happened into this fucking science lab. I kind of saw this in science lab and I thought, oh, I do like doing some science. I thought it'd be cool to check it out, like a clean place science. But they might have weird things. This is like, these guys are kind of stupid. Let's leave.
00:15:09
Speaker
Backstories you're trying to walk out the door you see like a Couple of scientists run up to you and they have like some different hairsprays and lipsticks. They're trying to put it on you Hey Get away from my monkey, I'm telling that's mine get away from him
00:15:35
Speaker
It's ours. You see there's another one standing in line that has a paddle. It's my turn to spank it. Don't send that when you're working. I want to grab the spank pedal. I want to grab the spank. We have discovered a little bit of science here, you guys. That one you sprayed me there.
00:15:59
Speaker
Not good. Don't send that one to market. Ah, okay. That's good to know. It's supposed to be like a, it's supposed to be like a, like a, you know, one of those dry shampoos you can put on for when you can't get to a, you know, to shower. Oh my God. Oh, well. Dirty human. Yeah. Don't, yeah. Don't do that one. Just put it on some more rabbits in the back and see before you've really put that one on people.
00:16:24
Speaker
Yeah, it worked great on the rabbit fur. I just wanted to see if it would work on monkey fur. What about you, little half-girl? Yo, get that shit away from me. I swear to God. I will have my robot attack you. So just, uh, you better back off. And, uh, yeah, over there. Go. Do you feel cleaner now? I want to spank them with the pads. No, I don't.
00:16:51
Speaker
You're gonna spank them with the paddle? Yeah, for being non-human. Alright, I'm just gonna say do it. They're not equipped to fight. Put that down. Let's get out of here. Come on, Jesus. What are they supposed to be? What are they supposed to be stopping? Hey, you guys, where is this lady that started business or something? Come on, tell me. Oh, please. Stop it. Oh, we've learned something else here with our scientific method. We have discovered that what is your lame pack? Jerry is a sexual deviant.
00:17:24
Speaker
All right. Well, that explains everything. Do you guys know the phone number to Sylvia Pinesall's cleaning service? Oh, yeah, of course. She's the leading, you know, no one makes more money than Sylvia Pinesall in cleaning. We're probably gonna have to have her come here pretty soon because, I don't know, sorry about the mess. And then, like, you look around and it's still really clean in here.
00:17:47
Speaker
We're going to have to have Sylvia come and once we get some money, we'll clean it. BX, go ahead and ask these gentlemen for that number. File it into your computer brain. Gentlemen, I'm going to use your restroom. Be right back. I'm going to walk around like a table and immediately go into stealth and steal some chemical supplies so I can have some further. If I wanted to do further later. Okay, roll stealth, I guess, to see if
00:18:12
Speaker
Oh, they notice you. I love it. Wow. OK. Nice. Yeah, you just you hit the jackal switch and just disappear almost like you just like bound between the table or some shit. And they're just like, boy, he must have really had to go, huh? That effect of some of the hairspray can be immediate diarrhea.
00:18:29
Speaker
Yeah, that's not good. Um, but it was a long flight. So he might have just had to go to the bathroom is all So you got any perfume? I you know, I've been looking to get a new perfume and I'm almost out of this one. So, you know, I do you happen to have anything on you? Oh Yeah, we have perfumes made from bleach and bleach products that way you get clean why you smell good. Oh
00:18:55
Speaker
Nevermind, I'm going to thank you though. I guess... Are you sure? Here, try this one. You say they're already bringing like one of those big old bottles with like the little tube and the squeezy thingy in the end, you know, like in the cartoons they like to use. She puts her hand up and like shows that she has like the fire in her hand and she's like, nope, get away from me. I will put this place down. Oh, well, imagine your friend, at least it'll be cleaner. Yeah.
00:19:24
Speaker
See, there's one guy that's like, like has his pants halfway down, like across his butt cheek. He's like, are we done? He looks up to you, BX. Are we done? We're done. Yes. All right. It's fine. My lunch breaks over anyway. Thanks for the snack, my guy. Oh, my God. I avoid my case. So BX. So he gives you this guy gives you like a slip of paper.
00:19:54
Speaker
with, uh, Sylvia Pines also a number on it, um, after he pulls his pants up. Um, so we are going to stop this capitalism, right? Who are you talking to? To Sasha, because Beck says, not Tia at the moment. Actors, quote unquote, going to the bathroom. Yeah. I'm sorry. What did you say? So we are going to stop this capitalism, right?
00:20:22
Speaker
Yeah, I guess we're gonna have to. How do you want to do that? Hmm, I'm not really sure. I guess we'll find out what her motives are first and find out what's going on and then, you know... Her motives are probably money. Well, of course, but you know, we gotta find out what her shtick is because you never know. Maybe she's just going through something sometimes and you just need a friend or a hug sometimes, you never know.
00:20:50
Speaker
Okay. I have a backup plan, but first let's talk to her. Yeah. He's like, I have a backup plan as he like slapped his own hand with the paddle. I have a backup plan. Sticks it in his like extra compartment.
00:21:10
Speaker
So Baxter, what are you stealing? Um, just some miscellaneous company. Any chemical supply that has like, um, like a flammable symbol on it or, you know, it's all of them. Anything that looks like, uh, you know, I could. All right. Roll a decent. We'll see how many units worth you're able to grab. Units. Oh man. Everybody would see my general unit. You got two, two units worth of hands. There you go.
00:21:38
Speaker
Does anybody want to see my unit? So you guys leave after you get Sylvia Pine's also a number?
00:21:48
Speaker
Well, I think I'll do ask you know packs that come back here no time for toilet Oh, I was gonna say I was surprised gonna sneak out anyway Just send them a little message or a little thing saying I worry I'm already outside Yeah, you turn around you've like bags dirty like I'm already here. I Got stuck around I'd stole some to these I hold up two little jars of cleaning products did you take? Custodia brand
00:22:24
Speaker
I mean, as you established earlier, everything is Custodia. Right. And this one here says, this one just says the Eviscerator 5000.
00:22:37
Speaker
It's got a guy, it's got a picture of a guy blowing up a germ with a bazooka, so. They're blowing up a germ. We need to make that, that's fucking hilarious. You see somebody holding like a fucking magnifying glass over a tiny germ and then you see a dude with a rocket launcher standing over top
Battle with Sylvia's Alien Form
00:22:55
Speaker
of it. It just has like, custodian cleaning service on it. We blow the competition and the germs out of the water.
00:23:08
Speaker
Um, it says we blow and then on the back, the competition. Um, you have to put the other shirt that says out of the water. Um, so, um, so you go to, uh, outside, I guess. What do you do next? Let's go get a woman. Either of you guys, um, carry matches on you. Sasha, you're a big purse. You smoke. Uh, yeah, I got some matches.
00:23:36
Speaker
I don't smoke but I have matches on me all the time plus and then she like opens up her palm and Like some fire comes out. I got this too
00:23:47
Speaker
Well, it is perfect. I was just going to, well, I mean, you could burn somebody right away. I was thinking, I do not know any of your abilities, Sasha. I do not know what, I do not know you could do that. I grabbed these, I thought they'd be pretty flammable. We could threaten the lady if she doesn't want to, you know, agree to go her way. We could be like, oh, we're going to burn you down. Like the fire, I talked about the fire. Actually, BX, when you broke that up, I like that idea. So my backup plan is to just burn everything, then it will be clean.
00:24:15
Speaker
Yes, you cannot have capitalism if we burn the system to the ground. Exactly. Burn it down. Burn it up. Okay. We try diplomacy first. What's your plan of movement here? Again, the city is still moving around. It's a relatively nice city. People walk into and fro, but as you meander on the city a little bit, you do notice more and more houses that are
00:24:42
Speaker
kind of getting a little bit shittier looking like there's trash on the street that like hasn't been removed yet. Like from the you know, like the general public trashes and stuff like that. Are all the all the yards like AstroTurf and then like all the houses are like perfectly square because you know,
00:25:00
Speaker
right angles. Will that please your theater of the mind to believe? I just see that as they're walking down the street. That's what I see in my mind. It's just like a bunch of like square freaking houses and then like all of the yards are astroturf because no one wants that dirt. Yeah. Most of the trees are fake so they don't like lose leaves when the weather's bad. Yeah. And with oxygen pumps all over the city. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:27
Speaker
Yeah, kind of like fucking Pleasantville. Yes, yes, exactly like Pleasantville. Yeah. And as you guys get further into town, you do notice that the air quality is a little shittier because there aren't people pumping the pumps. You see some guys just like, well, I ain't gonna do it if I ain't getting paid. You know, if Sylvia could get paid to clean, why can't I get paid to make the air clean? I don't think it's fair.
00:25:53
Speaker
You guys, do you think, I didn't listen to anything that man said, but I cannot breathe so good now. I think that what they sprayed on me was just doing a big number. Are you guys okay? I'm fine, go ahead and do your thing. Oh, alright. Let's just talk to these people real quick. Hey mister, hey mister, you want some clean air? Why don't you come over here and maybe give me a dollar and then I'll give you some air, jars of it. You see,
00:26:22
Speaker
What is money to you? Well, my place is getting dirty and I have to get it now to be able to clean my place and so I need to find a way to make it so money is cleanliness, I guess. Some sort of philosophical thing. Why don't you clean your place yourself and it's also clean?
00:26:41
Speaker
Shit, I'm just going to clean my place myself now that Sylvia can clean again money. Yeah, yeah, I'm a chump. I'm a sucker. Good one, guy. Good joke. You should write jokes for a living or something. That's hilarious. Bro, listen to me. This is a bad path you're going. You start here in a couple of years, you will have only things done on the internet and you will have credit card debt
00:27:04
Speaker
You have a good right now, man. You go out to the store, you know how much I got to pay for the banana? Astronomical. You go out there, you just pick up banana, right? Hey, I cleaned the floor the other day. That is worth one banana to me. Here, take banana. You know what, I think there's a game coming out on the PS Live that sounds like that. But that's your future, buddy.
00:27:33
Speaker
It looks like it's fun to play, but not fun to live in. You definitely don't want that. I mean, but that's not realistic. That's video games. That's not real. Right. Well, um, just saying, I mean, you know, you start making people pay you for air. They're going to make you pay them for like, as I say, but what do you really like to get?
00:27:52
Speaker
You know what? Now that you mentioned bananas, I would love a banana. Yeah. But imagine you got to go, you're thinking, I'm merely hungry for a banana. But then someone says, oh, that'll be a $50. And you say, oh, shit, I've only got $20. Then they won't shop a banana in half for you. I'm sorry. You know, you really get me thinking, how much money do I charge for air? I'm just kind of hoping for any kind of money. Well, if you were in my position, little dude, and you wanted to make money for air, how much would you charge for it?
00:28:20
Speaker
Well, honestly, first I would take out all the other air providers. I would have the Monopoly. No, no, no. I'm part of the system that I would try to... You're not paying anyone for it. It's not right. You're not even the guy we needed. What is still the... The X was the address. This guy is useless. We had to go to the source. That's up ahead. Patience right here, guy. That's mean. You're with him. We're going to go to the outbreak, monkey. Patience zero. Let's go.
00:28:50
Speaker
Okay. And from that guy, money is worthless. Just do your job. Oh, I don't know. I'm really dwelling on the whole, you know, ruin everybody else. That way I'm the only one left kind of thing. It's pretty appealing. Like a banana, right? If we fuck up, I mean, you can use that idea. That's okay. But yeah, let me look at this guy's face.
00:29:13
Speaker
And I wave my hand in front of him and say, remember what the robot said? The money is not real. Nothing is real. Everything is permitted. What are you trying to Jedi mind trick him? Full persuasion. Mostly I was just trying to quote. I think that's... You were trying to do like Assassin's Creed. Three.
00:29:36
Speaker
Uh, yeah, he has like a glaze over his eyes for a second. He goes, yeah, I'm totally listening to what you're saying there, little guy. Thank you for your kind words. You're very wise. I will never charge it for another jar of air in my life. Thank you for showing me the ways. You still did shoot in jars.
00:29:58
Speaker
Let me just get out of here,
Adventure Reflection and Sponsor Message
00:30:00
Speaker
BX. That's supposed to work. As you walk away, jaws of air. Jaws of air. One or a hundred dollars. I want to throw backstuck and sit guy. You what? I want to throw backstuck and sit guy. You're going to throw backster at the guy? Yeah. What the ass? Are you going to tell Baxter you're going to throw him at the guy? No, he's already in my hands.
00:30:25
Speaker
Wow, okay. So you just got to Chuck Baxter. I don't know if you react to that or what do you think would happen? Well, I don't know make them do it. I guess do it would make them do a role for a first. I will say athletics role because if you can Chuck Baxter, I don't know if access like really
00:30:40
Speaker
Well, that's a seven. Do you struggle at all, Baxter? Um, I'm proud to be surprised. I'm trying to just be a little monkey ball and fly the guy. Uh, okay. You fucking, I guess that passes Perry. You just like, I would probably just try to catch on to the guys. So if it was, you feel like we got to roll to like, you know, Sure. Agility. Catch him. Yeah, I guess. I gotta open that one and do it.
00:31:05
Speaker
Yeah, you just fucking you try to catch yourself and you just slam into the guy and he falls into all of his jars that he has on the ground that he's trying to sell. And then like, he gets called cut up and he's bleeding on the on the sidewalk. He's like, Oh, my air is all out. Oh, no, there's more mess. I'm going to have to pay double for Sylvia to clean blood. I put my hands. I didn't. I didn't. What the fuck? And it's kind of stupid. Let's go. Oh.
00:31:31
Speaker
He's laying in like a puddle of his own blood. He's just like, Oh God.
00:31:36
Speaker
Oh, hey, buddy, by the way, listen, you probably get taken care of for free right now, but if you go on this path, you've got to pay the cops to come help you. Exactly. Let that be a lesson to you. You taught me a very valuable lesson. Yeah. One person, remember to tell everybody, if you start doing capitalism, someone's going to come and push you into a bunch of glass. Exactly. I'll get right on making the sign, my guy. Someone will throw a monkey at you.
00:32:02
Speaker
Watch out for the communist monkey. Watch out for the communist monkey. We've gotten nowhere as far as completing this mission so far. Sasha, what are you doing? Oh, she's just watching everything go down and she's like, you know, this is about a good time for me to go find a circular carbohydrate about now.
00:32:33
Speaker
going to go get a donut? Pizza. Oh, pizza. Okay. Actually, I am curious. We're not really a part of this, you know, weird economy they have where they don't use money. But like, if we are from outside, we just do what we just like, let's go walk into the pizza place to try and see if we can get the pizza. You guys are probably the richest people on the planet.
00:32:55
Speaker
We probably are. Let's go see if we can go make some people happy. Maybe we can tip someone and they'll just be so happy. I was thinking that for them it's normal, but for us it's stealing and getting it for free. Oh, maybe we can try? Come on, Sasha. Keep up. Come on. Be extra with me. Let's go see some pizza.
00:33:18
Speaker
I was just hoping to get just some food because, you know, I'm starving over here and I was like, you know what? A pizza sounds really good. It's a perfect circle carbohydrate.
00:33:33
Speaker
Right. And you know, as I tell you before, you try not to disagree with me, but banana on pizza, very good. There's a whole, there's a whole Chronosphere debate. It's split down the middle. And you know, monkey on the place. He doesn't think so. He disagree with me. I say what?
00:33:53
Speaker
I'm gonna have to try that because, you know, I love pineapple on pizza, so you never know. You might like banana on pizza. So I'm gonna try it just because you said it's good. Bing, ding, ding, ding. Yes, I think really it's not too bad. You know, I jump on the counter, I just grab pizza off like a shelf.
00:34:13
Speaker
Hey, and welcome to my pizza shop. How can I help you? Hey, shut up. I just jumped down off the counter. This one is great anyway. Okay, thank you very much for the pizza. Thank you for coming into the pizza shop. We'll see you next time. That was fucking amazing. Sasha just throws a $20 up on the counter and walks out without showing Baxter what she did.
00:34:38
Speaker
You see the, you see the guy who says that goes to reach for it and then like his, his like little assistant chef, like jumps the fuck out of nowhere and tries to grab it. And then you just hear a scuffle behind you. These guys, those guys will start to like each other or something. Yeah, they looked like best friends in there. You could open an arena where you throw money in the middle.
00:35:05
Speaker
Yes, maybe that would be funny. So you see the chef gets tossed out through the window. We are just customers just came out to your place, man. And then like the other guy jumps out, the assistant jumps out and like his big fucking jack dude, like just pulls out a cell phone and he says, Yeah, yeah, Sylvia, I got a mess and I got some money. You want to come and clean money?
00:35:34
Speaker
And you hear here for Sylvia. I suppose we got a waiting list. Are you serious? Tell her there's blood. It's going to be hepatitis. There's hepatitis over here. What's that?
00:35:54
Speaker
24-hour wait. I mean, at least I moved up in the queue. He covers up the phone. I moved up in the queue, guys. What else can we say to her, man? Can I press the wait button? You press the what? The wait button. The wait button? Yeah, the wait. Do you mean like hold?
00:36:15
Speaker
I think he means like a video game when you press wait. Yeah, like in Skywars. You just sit and wait for the day to pass. We need sleep, we need eat, we need poopy, all those things. Come from the home.
00:36:30
Speaker
Yeah, BX, you see like a little screen pops up over your face and says, how long would you like to wait? 24 hours. BX just powered BX like knock it on, knock it on. He powered himself down. He doesn't even know. BX can just escape reality. He does like compacts into like a cube sized robot.
00:36:58
Speaker
There's a little handle. I forgot about a little handle. It's on his back. This is why you don't give robots like milky without sentient. You have to keep track of robots and their sentient. They don't think before they act sometimes. There are pictures of that. Six fingers? I don't know. Weird fingers. That is so stupid and wonderful.
00:37:28
Speaker
Hey, what up nerds? Hey, guess what? This episode is sponsored by our friends over at Liquid IV. You know that really cool packet that you get and you put it in your water and it hydrates you two times faster because it's got them five essential vitamins in it? Yeah, that stuff. So listen, I was skeptical about trying this or pitching it, so I wanted to try it for myself. So I went and got me a box of passion fruit, which by the way is effing delicious.
00:37:50
Speaker
Uh, and I've been using it because I've been going to the gym. I've been really self-conscious, realizing I've been lazy since the pandemic started. And I finally took a leap to get to the gym. I've been sweating like crazy and drinking water like you wouldn't believe. And so I thought, hey, this is something I can get behind if it helps keep me hydrated.
00:38:06
Speaker
And I found that yeah, you don't use it every day if you just want to flavor your water, but if you're active, if you're going to be outside, if you're going to have a bender overnight, if you're flying a lot and traveling, or if you're working out at the gym like me and you're sweating and you need to catch up on your hydration, this stuff really does make you feel better.
00:38:21
Speaker
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00:38:46
Speaker
I like how like BX, Adrian's playing BX like so fucking blunt and impatient. He'll just shoot a guy in a crowd. He'll throw his fucking friend at another guy because he's pissing him off. Or just like, I don't feel like waiting. All right. Well, there's two of you guys in a box right now.
00:39:10
Speaker
Like, hey, you know what? A guy just turned into a cube. Does that count as part of the mess? No? All right. It's still 24 hours, guys. Come today. What? Big tip. She's Helen. Helen, big tip. That's it. This monkey says she's going to give you a big tip if you come right now.
00:39:28
Speaker
Wants to know how much of a dib. Are you guys of it? Let's not tell her just how it works. If she wants to have capital, I see how your service is. Put it in the folder. All right. All right. This little dude, this little, this little hairy kid wants to talk to you. All right. And he answered the phone. Hello.
00:39:48
Speaker
Lady, you're going to come right now. There's big mass guy bleeding everywhere. His body parts all over the floor of the outside area. And we've got pizza. We can only wait like maybe 30 minutes. Wait a minute. Are you telling me that?
00:40:03
Speaker
There's body parts on the ground. Yes. It's going to be big. Um, um, expenditure for a big, like, this is like big job. I don't know how much big job you've done, but that's great. I know what your fucking name is. Anyway, unless we're from off, we're from different planet. Um, we have money that you can, it's probably got more value because you have no economy here at all. So that's probably good for you. What's economy? It's the bullshit you're going to make if you fucking around here.
00:40:33
Speaker
All right, how many cleaning supplies am I gonna need? I don't, you are the businesswoman. I'm still new at this. Well, you have been cleaning your whole life. Just come as much as you need for one man's worth of blood and parts. And glass, there's glass on the ground to like have a big like, you know, it's like look like five by five window of glass broken. This guy's, this other guy's cut up a little bit. He's bled a little bit, might want to wipe him off. I'm probably gonna have to poop a pee in the alley here all the way through, so I'm gonna bring a bucket or something.
00:41:06
Speaker
Oh, does Sasha want something from the cleaning lady? I was just going to say if she would like, you know, clean my slingshot because it's a little dirty and I was just going to polish it.
00:41:18
Speaker
Oh yeah, we got a slingshot for you to clean too. So bring your slingshot polish. I'm sure you got that laying around. Yeah. Slingshot polish. Okay. Okay. That's going to be an extra 250 service fee if it is like shot polish. Geez, that's a gastrointestinal price, but I'll pay it. I've got to, because that's no choice I've got, huh? Uh, all right. You know what? Roll a persuasion. See if I care enough to do that.
00:41:47
Speaker
I don't have a good pushway. Oh, 16 of my wild dice. Woo hoo! Nice. Damn. You got a 16 of your wild dice? That's crazy. I'll sell you a pie, Sal. I'll be right there. She's coming. I'll give the guys one. She's coming right over, buddy. Oh, wow. Hey, that's really great, man. You want another slice or something while we wait to get this all cleaned up? I'm so excited to finally spend my money on something. Yeah, man. Ding, ding, ding, ding. You got banana in there?
00:42:16
Speaker
Uh, oh yeah, absolutely. What, you want like just a banana? You want banana on like your pizza? Oh, slice that sucker up like, you know, like a little topping, like a little pepperoni slice, but banana.
00:42:25
Speaker
Oh, you got it. Well, while they're fighting, they're also making your pizza at the same time. That's it. It's incredible. Like, you know, like he one of them pulls out a knife and looks like they're going to they swipe at their friend. And then immediately, like there's like a bunch of slices of bananas in their hands. Then the other like takes a dough and like throws it up in the air and throws at him like it's a frisbee and he dives out of the way and it lands in the oven. So they're magically crafting a way to it. And then you hear ting ting ting ting and you see.
00:42:51
Speaker
You see, Justin, what do you think Sylvia Pinesall looks like? She's like this little decrepit old lady with like a little cane. She comes in, I'm Sylvia Pinesall, and she has like two big buff dudes and like Mr. Clean type outfits. Like the white t-shirt.
00:43:12
Speaker
They're carrying these little plastic bags. There's little shopping bags. Baskets you get at the grocery store. It's like cleaning supplies in them. There's big buff dudes standing there. Looking at her face like SpongeBob bullies. Shit. All right. Who's the client? Who's giving me my money? I'm turning from a cube back into a robot. Welcome back to the land of the living BX. I missed everything.
00:43:41
Speaker
All right. Who's the one that wants their knob polished or whatever? What was it? Sligshot? Yeah, that was me. Great. Good. I'm Sylvia Pidesaw. Let's see it. Yeah, start off there. I've been waiting for you. Thank you so much. All right. While she starts doing that with Sasha, I'm going to go to the guys, like, guys, hey, bud, did you want to pull your cell phone back out? Maybe do a quick little, like, do you have like a live video you can put up to like TikTok or something like that? Do you have like a thing? To whom are you talking?
00:44:09
Speaker
One of the one of the guys that worked like the guy I talked to before the phone. Oh, I'm at the pizza shop. Yeah. He has a he has a nametag on the system. It's fun. Could you like pull up your phone do like a little recording of this? You know, what's going on here? What like the cleaning?
00:44:26
Speaker
Yeah, you know like Yeah, I'm gonna just I'm gonna do something real wacky. I think you're gonna like it It's gonna get you a lot of schools like meanwhile like he's pulling out his phone and he's got like his hand like like You know like like when somebody's bigger than like on cartoons and stuff They put their they're taller they put their hand on the top of like the dude's head He's like trying to swing at him, but he can't yeah, like so that's what the chef is doing what he's doing He's like, yeah, I just go like I'll kill you son of a bitch and he's like, yeah By the way
00:44:53
Speaker
And so he pulls up his phone, and he's like, all right, so what am I filming here, little dude? You see, I point over to Emma. This is Silvia Pinesaw, latest normal cleaning everyone does for free, but she is making people pay for it now. And my friend here is getting job done, cleaning of a little slingshot there. And we're going to see what happens. Hey, she's cleaning it, finishing up right now, looks like. How's that job she's doing there for you, Sasha?
00:45:18
Speaker
Well, she's doing a great job polishing my knob. That's great. I mean, my slingshot. My slingshot, not her knob. My slingshot. My knob. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs. My knobs.
00:45:48
Speaker
I tell ya. How much is that, ma'am? What? How much for this non-polishing job you've done here? Oh, it's $2.50 for the polishing, and then I still gotta do the blood and then the glass. Oh, well, here's the thing. We are not going to pay you for the service you have completed for us. I keep looking back at the guy's camera. Like I'm an SNL fucking actor. You just flicked your Jimmy Fallon.
00:46:14
Speaker
Well, that's not appropriate. I mean, look at... I'll clean your giant robot. Look at how filthy he is. Oh, sure. Clean him. Very good. You know, it would be even more inappropriate first to touch my private parts, and secondly, if you need to pay you, because... First of all, I wasn't going to touch your private parts. I was just going to give you a little dusty. You don't have any private parts, BXU at all. It's not for you to worry about Baxter.
00:46:43
Speaker
I know what parts you have. No, there's no... Do you have any unnecessary attachments? No one's made to you? I have hidden attachments that you don't know about. What is going on here? Do you have any clean your attachments or what? Yes, clean him. Very good. Go ahead. All right. And she pulls out like a power washer, like one of the big dudes like pulls from the bag, like a big old fucking pressure washer. And she just looks like a fucking ghost buster as they strap it on her back.
00:47:10
Speaker
She is cleaning my robot, as you can see on the camera here, held by Sven. She's like, grab your stick, heat him up. I will not pay you for this. We are not going to pay for this. You see like for a second, just like her, her skin like, like, like gets a little splotchy for a moment, which is like even, like even more so. And then like, it kind of goes back to what it was. She's like, no, you're going to pay. We never know. No one has to pay for anything.
00:47:40
Speaker
That's how this society works. No, no, you got to pay. That's just how it works. This is going to be a virus video, right Sven? I mean, yeah, I mean, I guess, but I mean, we're all we're all trying to get cleaned. So I mean, either Sylvia does it or people have to do other cleaning business and you see like the guy limping up like that has the blood all over his shirt and everything.
00:48:03
Speaker
Um, I forgot what the fuck, what the fuck did he sound like when he was talking? Don't forget. That was, that was a different guy. He's just like, Hey, I'll get a, I'm good. Yeah. You know, I'll clean it for money. Give me your money. Yeah. I'll do it cheaper than Sylvia will do it. Get your bloody body out of the shot. They're going to make people know what to watch the video. This guy was all cut up because he was supposed to be, he was working with money. It's not good. You get cut up by glass. Ask the guy who does the auction.
00:48:31
Speaker
That was me I'll clean it up though clean up myself if somebody wants to pay me to clean the street That's why I thought you were doing it I thought you were being the Italian shop owner who got hit through the glass Talking about the other guy that you got thrown into that fucking is Come back on your chef chef chef the guy who was thrown through the window. Come here. I
00:48:54
Speaker
That is the chef. The chef got thrown through the window, the other guy got thrown on top of his jars. These two guys here tried doing capitalism and they have gotten thrown through glass. Two out of two happened. Pretty soon this little old lady is going to get thrown through some glass. There's certainly a pattern there. If you try to charge for money, there's some class that's going to hurt you. Yes. It's the glass war. Not the class war, but the glass war. You've got to be careful.
00:49:22
Speaker
Excuse me, little lady, you'll pay for the polishing of your, of your, of your little shooty stick though, right? Right? I'm glaring at Sasha. Um, sure. Can I have it back, please? I mean, of course, only upon receivable of pay that. Absolutely. I just want to grab it from her.
00:49:49
Speaker
She puts fire in her hand and looks at her, puts her other hand on her hip and looks at her. Are you sure? Am I sure? What? Yeah, you said you'd pay the fee. I paid the fucking fee. I'm Sylvia Pinesall. No, give me my slingshot. Give me my money. Give me my slingshot. I won't put your hair off of your face.
00:50:14
Speaker
I look at the camera and I smile and do a thumbs up. He's like Jim. He's Jimming the camera at this point. Saucer thinks that thumbs up for her, so she throws fire at her. Fire at Sylvia Pinesall? Yep. OK, do a shooting role, I guess, with your fire casting or I forget, are you casting a spell? Yeah, I'm a spellcaster. OK, then I guess one of your casting fingers. I mean, it's a.
00:50:44
Speaker
Yeah, I mean it, I think since it's like a shooty. I never know how that works. I don't know if it's a shooting role with casting or if it's just, you know what, I'm just going to say that works. Yeah. You hit her in the face with a fireball. You just throw it at her face real quick. She's right up in front of you. You know, just snap it in your hands and fucking fire. And as she's rolled around on the ground for a second, the other two big Mr. Clean guys back up for a second. Then she starts rolling around on the ground and you see her skin starts to peel off.
00:51:11
Speaker
And then you see like out of her skin from like kind of like how a bird breaks through an egg You see like this kind of like green like in black splotchy fucking like little Finger-nailed like long figuring out hand starts to climb out of her like a skin crawler and fucking climbs And like you see like this kind of maybe maybe like four and a half foot tall like kind of
00:51:39
Speaker
dripping green and black splotchy creature with a kind of like melted clay face features. It's kind of standard. What's your problem anyway, just pay me.
00:51:52
Speaker
No, because you're, you're being like rude to everybody and like taking all of their money. And obviously you can tell that this town is struggling and you're the only one keeping up all the money from all of these people. Like these people were just like fighting over money just a minute ago. So there's got to be something changing around here is because you cannot keep taking all of their monies and not giving it back. And you know what I'm saying?
00:52:20
Speaker
Well, I know exactly what you're saying. Uh, and then like- Give me my slingshot, first of all, and second of all, stop it. Uh, he tries to throw some glob at you, uh, and he hits you with his glob. Um, as you're, as you're running, running like words at him, uh, he just throws a big old glob at you, but he only does five damage because he rolled poorly. Um- Oh, that was so rude. Why would you do that to me?
00:52:48
Speaker
He just covers you in some bloop, some green shit. I don't know what your toughness isn't even. He didn't even beat your toughness. It's not even that high. Not even, yeah. He just throws you guys, yeah, take that, you fucking jerk. He wipes it off and throws it back at him. Give me my sling shot. What did you say, Baxter? I splashed it with the cleaning supplies. Yeah, I guess.
00:53:17
Speaker
I guess that would be a shoot. Are you like throwing it at him or are you just like I'm just jerking the bottle and splashing it on him Okay Let's call it fuck. I don't know. Um
00:53:31
Speaker
Let's call it a, uh, fighting. Nice. I have skill on that. Let's see if I have enough skill on that. I got five! I mean, you got a five. Let me see. What's his, which is Perry, uh, Perry Cox. Oh, he moves out of the way when you try to splash him with the- Stay still, Jeremy. I'm trying to clean you.
00:53:58
Speaker
Yeah, so now you only have one unit of clean left. Oh, another bottle of shit. I guess it has two units of clean in it, so we're fine, guys. Well, you said you had two products. Oh, no, no, no. And then you had something Buster 5000 or some shit. I used the whole bottle. I throw that bottle away. Yeah, you have whatever you call it, the fucking germ destroyer. I don't know what you called it. I just wasted that one. I used that one first. Oh, that was the one you used? Oh, no.
00:54:25
Speaker
Yeah, you throw it and he jumps out of the way and you see like, yeah, gets on one of his little toenails and it disintegrates and immediately goes, whoa, that was rude like I. So like always doing that BX, what do you want to do? And then we'll do some cards, I guess, because you guys look like you're about to fight this thing, I assume. I want to go back to Sven and talk with the camera.
00:54:46
Speaker
Okay, he's still recording okay, dude you want to I guess you want to say anything to your fans So about this whole thing is happening here right now First off all of you guys I want it to be clean everywhere
00:55:02
Speaker
And wouldn't it be very easier for it to be clean everywhere if just everyone would help to get out to clean everything instead of like having a couple of people and then you pay them and they clean stuff because then you would need to wait and then they're like really busy and they don't clean as well. It would be just very easy if everybody would just clean for themselves in their own time.
00:55:28
Speaker
BX is getting like this impassioned speech where there's like a fight going on in the back. Oh, that was a nice fall. Why don't you roll a spirit roll? Change it up a little bit. I kind of want to see like how much passion you say this with. Spirit roll. If you inspire the live streamers that he's streaming to. That's a five.
00:55:52
Speaker
the five that's passable. That's I mean, for his bass pass. So I think you see like, you know, popping up on the screen, you see a few hearts and a few smiley face like emojis reactions coming up on the live stream, like as he turns users. Oh, hey, look, looks like people are looking, you know, when they're like, and then you see somebody comments like, like, yeah, can we all just get along?
00:56:14
Speaker
And it would be so much better. You see all of this mess behind me. This is what happens if you start charging money. Hashtag gross. Hashtag gross, guys. And then someone puts that robot's hot in there as well. Yeah. And so like you see, you get like a little bit of a reaction because, yeah, it looks like people might be listening. I mean, yeah, I do miss the old days, you know, I just want the whole money things really stressing us out. I don't even know where money came from.
00:56:46
Speaker
But, I don't know, I guess maybe Sylvia had it. Sylvia is an alien from another planet. Oh, aren't you guys also aliens from other planets? I feel good to live soon again. Alright, let's draw some cards. Vector gets an 8. Sasha gets a 3. Bx gets an ace.
00:57:09
Speaker
That's how little Maddie, it's well-called Maddie, and this guy gets a jack. So BX, you get to react first after giving your speech. You can continue talking to the camera if you like, or you can take an action elsewhere. I want to shoot the alien. Shoot the alien. You're inside the building, but I don't think that, like, it's too unclear of a shot if you moved a bit. So that'd probably be just a regular shot. He's not really moving all that much. He's a little blobby boy, so...
00:57:33
Speaker
So yeah, that's fine. Go ahead. That's a three for the first one doing the two shooties. Yeah, I know I say I assumed So one of them is a hit the other one misses me and damage
00:57:46
Speaker
What is your damage you're shooting? My damage is nine. Is a niner? Wow, that's pretty significant. I think you heard him pretty good. You definitely shake him. Yeah, you shake him. You shake him good. You kind of blast off a little bit and he kind of staggers after he's dodging away from the cleaning supplies. Like, what the fuck, buddy? Oh, God. See, money only hurts you. Suck, my daughter existed.
00:58:12
Speaker
You know. That's a dirty word, all I want to say right now. We use clean words on custodia. Like secret attachment. And then you hear, you hear, he's fucking right, dude. Um, so he takes a turn. He has to unshake himself because you've shaken him. He does not like that. Unshake. Roll.
00:58:35
Speaker
He rolled a four on his wild dice. He's like, okay, not cool, dude. I'm going to head roll. Sasha's still right in front of him. So he's just going to like, try to like engulf Sasha in his little goopy body. Ew, props.
00:58:48
Speaker
Sasha, can you please roll some, uh, roll agility, please? Cause he's going to try and get you. Okay. He's going to try and get, he's going to try and glob on you. Wow. 14. He fucking whiffs huge. He's like, mom, I'm going to get your bra. And he kind of like stands up real big and kind of stretches and tries to just flop on top of you. And then she hear, and you just see the dirt kind of like, kind of like speck underneath him a little bit. And he's like, bra disintegrated her completely.
00:59:15
Speaker
And he's stupid so he thinks he got you. She did like a couple of backflips to get out of his way and all that's left is the dirt in her wake.
00:59:27
Speaker
I'm gonna walk over to him and I'm screw my lid of my custodian brand custodial product And I stand over him and as I go to port I say for some odd for ones homies Okay, yeah, honestly, I think he's like kind of still taken aback by like
00:59:45
Speaker
You know, his his assuming victory over Sasha already that like, I don't even know if he would know if you literally just walked up. He probably doesn't notice because he probably expect you to charge him or something. You know, if you just kind of sauntered up with a bottle, I don't think he'd even pay any attention to you, honestly. So, yeah, I would say just do a regular. I don't know. And I wouldn't need me just pouring something on him. So let's just make I don't know what what role do you want to make it?
01:00:15
Speaker
uh agility see if i can do it quick enough all right that's fair agility dexterous perfectly for wow i mean if four is fine like he's not like he's not paying any attention like you're literally pouring cleaning supplies on top of him and like like he doesn't know so like
01:00:33
Speaker
His lower half of his body starts to disintegrate almost immediately when you put this on there. Roll 6d8 of damage. 68 damage? Yeah, you just do 68 damage. No, there's no button. Roll 6d8. You can literally roll slash roll 68. There we go.
01:00:54
Speaker
20 damage you didn't quite get 68 damage we got 20 is worth that's pretty significant compared to what his damage is yeah yeah he's like falling apart he's like got you shake him and damage him twice and he is fucking straight up just like like half a body on the ground it's like
01:01:15
Speaker
What the fuck? My beautiful backside. My rear end. My rear end. My keister. I'm looking at you and I'm seeing you would surely have a rear end back here. Sasha, you're up. He just like pours one up for his homies and half his body disappears.
01:01:42
Speaker
Um, so I guess she's in a graceful power ranger backflip away. Did she get her slingshot back? Probably. Yeah. So she's going to take her slingshot and she's going to make a fireball and she's going to shoot at him. Okay. Rolls for your spell casting ability after zoom. I don't know how that works with if it's a shooty or if it's a spell. So we'll have to look at it later, but let's just keep it simple. Make it a spell. I have both so I can do either one.
01:02:12
Speaker
And make it burn. So, testing is a five. You hit him with a five, roll your damage. Holy fuck. It's 15 dermage. That's a lot of dermage. Yeah, that's plenty to finish him off. That's like fucking double what his main thing is. And he gets a minus two to all that other stuff. Yeah, you fucking hit him in the rest of his torso and fucking just disintegrates into a little puddle on the ground. He just turns into like a little loot pile. And you defeated.
01:02:42
Speaker
Victory achieved. You see flashing on the screen. And you hear... And you see slingshots go a little bit up. So yeah, you did that. What do you do? You're done. You defeated Mr. Clean Glies. Mr. Clean looking guys just like turn into a pile of clothes on the ground. They were fake. They were.
01:03:12
Speaker
Gasp. Gasp. That gasps in robot. Gasp in robot. So what do you guys do? You defeat it. What do you do? So this is the lesson for the day. If you start charging money, you turn into a UELian and then you get burned. So don't do money. Don't become a germ.
01:03:36
Speaker
on society's backside, or we will come and pour gasoline and fire and chemicals on you. They go, Cass, make that a t-shirt. Don't be a germ on society's backside. We'll come and pour, what'd you say? Cleaner on you. Gasoline and fire and chemicals. Gasoline and fire and chemicals on you. And then as you guys, as you're doing that, like the guy finishes his live streaming as, wow, that was really inspiring stuff.
01:04:00
Speaker
And gross. Wow. And you see the guy that you pushed in the jars, he comes running back and he has a sign that says, be aware of the communist monkey on it. And he's like, how's this look? Is this what you were talking about? Where are the communist monkey? It might act. You should probably say beware of charging money, but yeah, that's fine. Yeah, tell people, don't charge you money or else they have someone to throw a monkey at you. You know what? I could just scratch out the K that'll say beware of communist money.
01:04:30
Speaker
Yeah, that works. I think it looks great. I mean, to be fair, guys, communism is also a shitty system. Any system devised by human beings is a shitty system. Let's just put it that way. The system in which we clean for free was devised by humans, says the assistant chef. Well, you know, I mean, you guys had something decent. That was probably one of the best systems I've seen. I mean, you know, as we see, it has flaws. People can fuck it up. But, you know, oh, so for all, for all, it seemed familiar. It was an alien who fucked it up. Are we sure? It was an alien. I don't really, is there any left of that thing? Yeah, there's like a little gloop.
01:05:00
Speaker
A little bit left on the ground. BX, do you have like a little container I can put there? I'm going to scrape this up. Give me a piece of cutter guy. I'm going to scrape this off the floor. He's like, do I have one? I am a container. I have a bottle of me. Oh, excellent. Let me put it in there. Nothing's in there, right? All right. Yeah, you just kind of scrape it in there. I mean, it's it's still kind of reacts a little bit to like, you know, kind of like a like blubber. Be good. When it reacts, I punch it.
01:05:27
Speaker
No, no. It's a scientific specimen. Second of all, I might keep it as a pet if it's cool. You hear inside your. It's all right. Blah, blah, blah. He's going to be an excellent option. We'll put him in a little terrarium and ship it to be all right. Excellent. Then it will eat us while we sleep. No, it will eat us. All right. We'll teach it the ways of anti-capitalism.
01:05:57
Speaker
And he said, we'll be all right. I'll have to stand on standby instead of turn off when this thing is on our ship. That's fine. If you want to do that for a little while, that is okay. I'm going to sleep like a little chimpanzee, maybe. That's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yes, he's gonna be a little friend.
01:06:21
Speaker
Oh my goodness, I'm so excited. We adopt everyone from where we could... We get someone at least once when we go home. This is so exciting. Except for the weird bunny rabbit planet with people. Oh, yeah, you're not wrong there. Bring somebody back from it, did you? Not that snake guy, right? Maybe I did. Where did you hide him? Somewhere else.
01:06:50
Speaker
Not bringing interlopers on my ship, god damn it. And you hear, you hear, blub blub like, Topha? Is that you?
01:07:17
Speaker
And then you Eventually all of the messes get cleaned back up the chef and the assistant chef shake hands They hug it out. They clean up the glass before you know it the windows are pristine and
01:07:29
Speaker
uh you know it says beware communist money on the side and everybody cleans up the blood together and the whole community comes together and and they hold hands around the big clean fake tree and they sing yahoo clean this yahoo meanest and as you got some more shipper like well
01:07:50
Speaker
They have a good system, but they are a bunch of little, I don't know, holding hands on that shit. I don't like it. Take us away, Morgan Cheamon. You don't like holding hands, Baxter? No. Hold your hand. Too much sentimental is going on down there. We may have to go back in the blit right then completely. I can train a missile on it at any minute. You just tell me when.
01:08:14
Speaker
We will wait. We'll ask Blub Blub what he thinks next time he comes. Blub Blub. Blub Blub. And they give you guys heaps and heaps of industrial cleaner that you can trade in for Darby Bucks. You guys take like just huge unnecessary amounts of cleaner on the ship. Oh my God. The ship on Earth you dropped it again. Yeah. And you guys can trade this for Darby Bucks. Roll five.
01:08:43
Speaker
D100s to see how much funnies you get. I'm going to save. I'm going to say. Sasha got 282.
01:08:53
Speaker
I got 250. Baxter, or BX, got 250. Baxter gets 253. BX, 250. Baxter, 253. Sasha with a whopping 282. You guys take home that much money's worth of cleaning supplies that you can exchange for Darby bucks. If you want to keep them around. I'm going to say I'm going to save one underneath my bed in case blah, blah becomes terrible. It's like when you have a spray bottle, when you just have to show it to them once in a while, and you're like, hey, listen. I've got the official internet.
01:09:23
Speaker
Oh, the eviscerator, that's what it was. Yeah, dirt with the bazooka on it, that's you if you don't... Oh, man!
01:09:31
Speaker
All right, we'll investigate you. Good shit. Good shit.
Episode Conclusion and Listener Engagement
01:09:35
Speaker
And so that concludes this particular episode of Custodia, Forkers. And you guys will all level up after this, so keep that in mind. And so thanks for listening, everybody. Again, please go review the show on Spotify and on Podchaser. The links will be in the show notes or on iTunes if you listen.
01:09:55
Speaker
Do that shit. And as always, please go to a voicemail on funandsellers.com slash contact. Say hi to us. Tell us stuff that you want to do. Tell me some worlds that you want us to go visit. I'll add them and make some missions. Or if you got some ideas for missions, fucking hit me, man. Or if you don't want us to hear your voice, then put it in text. We'll do that there too. It's going to be great. And yes, Adrian, you with the face.
01:10:23
Speaker
I would like since last time, I kind of asked them to do something. I want to ask them for something as well as time. Sure. What do you want to ask them? I want to ask them to go on the website and do a Morgan Freeman impression through their voice for you. All right. You got it. Whoever, you know, we'll put the best Morgan Freeman impressions on the show if we get some voicemails. Oh, you know what else? You know what else? You know what else?
01:10:50
Speaker
Happy birthday, Adrian and Adam. Oh, yeah. At the time of this recording, our birthday is tomorrow ish. So my birthday is on the third. Adrian's is July 24th. And because he's six hours ahead of me at six p.m. on my birthday, it'll also be his birthday. And I want both. Yeah, you're kind of like Irish twins, but like not. I wish I was a twin. No, me too. I wish we were twins.
01:11:18
Speaker
Adrian and I are twins from 10 years apart, 10 years apart, 10 years in a day, right? We're twins at heart. We're
Birthday Celebration and Humorous Debates
01:11:26
Speaker
twins at heart and farts. So the timeline kind of got fucked up and that's why we are 10 years apart. That's right. Yeah. Our mom forgot to give birth to you until 10 years later. Yeah. I was like, Oh, right. I still have a baby in here. I forgot to get rid of it. I was wondering why this weight was hard to get rid of at the gym. And then she just went into the toilet, shit Adrian out in there. And then now we have him too.
01:11:47
Speaker
That's how I respond. Cass, are you the one that's going to deliver our question of the day? Yes, I am. Hit me. Hit us. All right. This comes from Evil Tom. Can I use sausage casing as a condom?
01:12:10
Speaker
I mean, uh, sausage casing, how does it look? Can you? Yes. Should you? That's a different kind of question. Yes. It says I work in a deli and I am interested in a girl who works there too. We don't have condoms, but I think we might try sex soon at work. We have sausage casings that are natural. I don't want to get her pregnant, so I can, can I use the casing? It's a lot like condoms.
01:12:35
Speaker
Okay, if you work in a deli, you probably work in a grocery store, so you already have the ability to get condoms at the grocery store that you work at, dumbass. Maybe he should just put the casing on his sausage. Right. Just don't put your dick in a sausage blender, guys. No, let's not though. Don't grind your meat.
01:13:03
Speaker
Yeah. I thought I had more to say, but that's it. Don't grind your meat on every co-worker you meet. Don't grind your meat on the co-workers you meet. That's a good gesture. I like that. Yeah. So if you're going to put your sausage in anything, don't make it a grinder. Put it in a skin.
01:13:24
Speaker
Okay, you can put sausage from the deli in a condom, but you shouldn't put the sausage from your pants in a sausage casing. So, you know, words to live by. Right there. Right, Cass? You get it. You work from me. I get it. I used to. I used to work from me. I mean, I guess I still do considering all the men I work with at the factory. So, yes, yes, I do. Hey, yo, wiener Joe.
01:14:59
Speaker
She doesn't look good already.