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Doomsday Dating: Surviving & Thriving in the Modern Romance Wasteland
36 Plays11 months ago
The Queens tackle the grim reality of today’s dating landscape—what they call Doomsday Dating.
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Transcript
Introduction and Reconnection
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the Female Dating Strategy, the meanest female-only dating podcast on the internet.
00:00:05
Speaker
I am your host, Diana.
00:00:07
Speaker
Oh, Diana, beloved Diana of the forest.
00:00:11
Speaker
I am your host, Rose.
00:00:13
Speaker
And I'm really happy to be back because actually Diana had been traveling for most of December and even
Value of Offline Engagements
00:00:19
Speaker
into January.
00:00:19
Speaker
January.
00:00:20
Speaker
And while we were able to record some podcast episodes, of course, with the holidays, we took some time for ourselves, which I think is totally legit.
00:00:27
Speaker
And I want us to model for our listeners.
00:00:29
Speaker
It's okay to step away from the online podcast and forums, etc, which is the point we're going to get to down the road here in this episode.
00:00:36
Speaker
But I just wanted to say, Diana, it's nice to be back on our regular schedule.
00:00:40
Speaker
I think I hadn't realized how accustomed I had become to the sound of your voice.
00:00:45
Speaker
And just these wonderful conversations that we get to have with one another every week.
00:00:49
Speaker
Yeah, it's become such a fixture in my life.
00:00:51
Speaker
Like just, you know, once a week, I get to hear you, we get to have these discussions.
00:00:56
Speaker
And like, it's been a really important part of my routine last year.
00:00:59
Speaker
And you know, when I was on holiday traveling, I was like, Oh my god, I miss
Travel and New Experiences
00:01:02
Speaker
Rose.
00:01:02
Speaker
And oh my god, I can't wait to tell Rose about this.
00:01:04
Speaker
Same, same.
00:01:05
Speaker
It's so interesting when you go and travel and you meet the scrotes of other lands and you're like, I must speak about these scrotes and bring the lore of the scrotes to the podcast, you know?
00:01:14
Speaker
I must bring the word of the street to the ladies of the land.
00:01:18
Speaker
It's true, though.
00:01:19
Speaker
It's true.
00:01:20
Speaker
In many ways, I feel like we are sort of the heraldry of radical feminism.
00:01:24
Speaker
And I'm proud of us for being that because it isn't always easy to speak truth to the situation on the ground, is it?
00:01:30
Speaker
People don't like to hear it necessarily.
00:01:33
Speaker
People don't like to hear and honestly, things have changed a lot since when this podcast and the forum
Dating Discussions and Societal Roles
00:01:37
Speaker
first started.
00:01:37
Speaker
Like, we were having this discussion a little a few days ago.
00:01:40
Speaker
But like, you know, when we were doing the podcast, like when the Reddit group was still around, I don't think these discussions were nearly as mainstream.
00:01:47
Speaker
And since then, there have been a lot of influencers who've come out having these talking points.
00:01:52
Speaker
Like when people say like, Oh my god, this is now mainstream advice.
00:01:54
Speaker
Hello, who do you think helped make it mainstream?
00:01:57
Speaker
It wasn't always mainstream.
00:01:59
Speaker
Hello, we were the vanguard.
00:02:00
Speaker
If it sounds mainstream to you now, it's because this is still relevant and good advice.
00:02:04
Speaker
I think people think that men have changed drastically in the last five years.
00:02:07
Speaker
And I hate to tell you, talk to your grandmothers, talk to your great grandmothers.
00:02:11
Speaker
They'll be telling you men have been like this for years with or without social media, with or without the internet.
00:02:17
Speaker
Like, I'm sorry to tell you, if you expect that they've suddenly become more sophisticated in their shittery, they haven't.
00:02:22
Speaker
They're still as terrible.
00:02:24
Speaker
They just have other tools now to manage how shitty they are.
00:02:27
Speaker
Yes.
00:02:27
Speaker
And that's why a lot of this episode is dedicated to discussing, you know, the real world, real time tactics and strategies we need to employ or to be mindful of when
Modern Relationships and Media Influence
00:02:37
Speaker
dating.
00:02:37
Speaker
Because if you're in this current landscape of this like doomsday era and you're still wanting to date, you know, I congratulate you on your endurance and your persistence and like your resilience.
00:02:50
Speaker
Because something that Diana and I have talked about is like, every time one of us goes out into the world, because I'm out and about all the time, you know, like I'm going to events, I'm in hobby groups, I'm meeting with friends, I'm not somebody who is home for the majority of the day or evening.
00:03:06
Speaker
And every time I'm out and about, like I'm a little dismayed at how awful a lot of these relationships are amongst the circles that I, that I circulate in.
00:03:16
Speaker
And I'm also really kind of dismayed by a lot of these men that I'm meeting because so many of them are getting radicalized.
00:03:22
Speaker
And of course they're blaming it on us for us not being, you know, the traditional loving, caring, forgiving, anything goes woman's stay at home, girlfriend, you know, who's happy with,
00:03:34
Speaker
the girlfriend status while doing all of the wife things.
00:03:38
Speaker
And they're really, really bitter and mad about it.
00:03:40
Speaker
And they're blaming us for it.
00:03:41
Speaker
And it is mind boggling to me.
00:03:44
Speaker
But I guess, you know, humanity has always loved having martyrs and scapegoats and women have often been the martyrs and scapegoats of every single fucking era.
00:03:54
Speaker
So maybe I shouldn't be so surprised at this.
00:03:56
Speaker
I mean, it's just being weaponized on a grander scale than it previously has been.
00:03:59
Speaker
Maybe that's why I'm so dismayed because I feel like in past eras, there were a lot more decent men.
00:04:06
Speaker
You didn't hear about them because if somebody's decent, like, you know, for example, the news doesn't go wrong telling you the good news, right?
00:04:12
Speaker
News means what's the bad news of the day.
00:04:15
Speaker
And similarly, I think the men who are good men just kind of went about their business because that's how they live their lives.
00:04:21
Speaker
and they weren't online and so they weren't able to see these like distorted mirrors of what masculinity and relationships should be i fear that men today especially young men and these men growing up under the internet have just been given like such a distorted funhouse mirrors of what they're supposed to be and how women are supposed to be in relationship to that as opposed to like just learning about the fullness of humanity amongst all genders
00:04:50
Speaker
Yeah, and I mean, if I had to add to that as well, like ever since pornography became a mainstay in male sexuality and consumption, I think that like social media has just warped their brains even more.
00:05:00
Speaker
It's turned them into even more like they're just degenerate now because a lot of social media.
00:05:05
Speaker
Social media is, you know, all these like thirst traps and stuff is very often just very like soft porn.
00:05:10
Speaker
You know, like in the 90s, that would be like the pornography that they would have to go to like a DVD store and buy.
00:05:16
Speaker
And now it's like in their phones, like where they can consume it like every day.
00:05:19
Speaker
I remember I was taking a bus once, you know, at an old job.
00:05:24
Speaker
And I remember I was seated next to this boy.
00:05:26
Speaker
He must have been like 15.
00:05:27
Speaker
Okay.
00:05:27
Speaker
I knew he was a teenager for sure.
00:05:29
Speaker
And he was just like, double tapping all these pictures of like half naked women on Instagram, like not even really looking at them just like double tap, double tap, double tap, double tap, like on the bus, like sitting right next to me, I was so uncomfortable.
00:05:41
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, this is normal for them now that like this level of exposure is just rotting their brains.
00:05:48
Speaker
I think a lot of people don't want to contend with the fact that like, this is what a lot of men have become.
Dating Strategies and Societal Pressures
00:05:52
Speaker
You know, your search for a high value man is not like a futile one.
00:05:56
Speaker
I just want to start like we have to clarify some FDS positions here because obviously there will be some speculation into our own personal dating lives, which is fair enough because we're the hosts of a dating podcast.
00:06:06
Speaker
And like, I think for the most part, both me and Rose are agreed on the fact that we're not against dating.
00:06:10
Speaker
We just don't want to date losers.
00:06:11
Speaker
And I don't think that that's a wild position to have.
00:06:14
Speaker
Like, I mean, I think that's a normal position to have.
00:06:17
Speaker
Like, why the hell should I date for somebody else's?
00:06:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:20
Speaker
You have to think about this, like it is a radical position in regular society, right?
00:06:24
Speaker
Because most things are still telling women, settle, be content and grateful for whatever you get.
00:06:30
Speaker
I mean, shit, look at Ballerina Farm and like her billionaire husband who buys her an egg apron instead of taking her to Greece, which is all she wants.
00:06:38
Speaker
And when she got the egg apron, as she was getting it, she had barely opened it.
00:06:42
Speaker
Her husband's like, you know, recording her for the views that he's going to get, that he's going to post this video and earn all the money in his own pocket because she's not registered under Ballerina Farm.
00:06:51
Speaker
He has it registered under his own name.
00:06:54
Speaker
He's like, you're welcome.
00:06:56
Speaker
And she didn't thank him fast enough.
00:06:58
Speaker
And I'm just like, this is the attitude of every fucking scrote out there.
00:07:02
Speaker
And they want you to see this as being normal and natural.
00:07:05
Speaker
Like they want to take the back of your head and like put your nose into the shit and be like, tell me it smells like roses.
00:07:12
Speaker
Tell me it smells like roses.
00:07:15
Speaker
Yeah, but I think that there are some people who have questions about like, how are we able to be in this position without feeling like that itch of like, oh, well, I'm single, like, what can I do to change that?
00:07:25
Speaker
Like, I don't see my singledom as something I need to actively change unless someone who is a viable option presents themselves to me.
00:07:32
Speaker
I get asked out a lot when I go out on events and stuff like men usually approach me and they ask me out, but I usually don't go because they usually don't offer anything for me like to me of value.
00:07:41
Speaker
Like I'm not interested in wasting my time spending an hour asking you about your siblings and what you do for work.
00:07:46
Speaker
Like, you know, at this stage of my life, like I want somebody who was actually able to hold a conversation beyond the bare minimum, and is not expecting me to like carry all of that labor, you know,
00:07:57
Speaker
Well, Diana, you were saying that you were getting asked out all the time when in the last place you were visiting, but like not a single one was able to follow up with the bare minimum.
00:08:06
Speaker
No.
00:08:07
Speaker
So it's not even for lack of trying.
00:08:08
Speaker
Like, you know what I mean?
00:08:09
Speaker
It's like genuinely I'm strict.
00:08:11
Speaker
Okay.
00:08:12
Speaker
And I think we should all be.
00:08:13
Speaker
I had a Zuma woman who's listening to this podcast is not listening to it because she wants to settle.
00:08:18
Speaker
I don't think the advice you want from us is to settle either.
00:08:20
Speaker
Like, I'm not going to be settling because I did what I needed to do in order to create a happy life for myself.
00:08:26
Speaker
And so did Rose.
00:08:27
Speaker
You know, we built lives for ourselves where we're content.
00:08:29
Speaker
And like, it's going to take a lot for me to disrupt that peace.
00:08:32
Speaker
You know, it's going to take a truly spectacular and wonderful person for me to be like, oh, you know, all this contentment and peace I feel right now.
00:08:38
Speaker
Let's risk it.
00:08:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:40
Speaker
Oh, this wonderful life that you've built that's thriving and thriving that I could actually have taken away from me at the moment of like a jealous man's hands.
00:08:48
Speaker
Let's just give it a whirl.
00:08:49
Speaker
Like, I mean, I think that's something that women have to start to really internalize.
00:08:53
Speaker
You know, I've never been on TikTok, but I have been seeing more and more like YouTubers will stitch the threads or whatever, call them.
00:08:59
Speaker
from TikTok.
00:09:00
Speaker
And I've been so happy to see the rise of radical feminism, like in real time, because as Diana was saying, back when we first started with this on the forum of Reddit, like it was extremely controversial.
00:09:10
Speaker
Like we were getting doxxed all the time.
00:09:12
Speaker
We were getting like hate threats, death threats.
00:09:14
Speaker
I mean, it was wild time.
00:09:16
Speaker
I don't even know if it's a change that much, but like we've had such a broadening on the landscape of these talking points that now they do sound a lot more common and a lot more mainstream.
00:09:24
Speaker
They're still not, but at least we're hearing them from more than one person, right?
00:09:28
Speaker
I mean, also like, you know, going back to another point that we were going to talk about today, we need to talk about being chronically online.
00:09:35
Speaker
Do you suffer from being chronically online?
00:09:39
Speaker
Because very often, I will say, like, even as uncontroversial as we're slowly becoming, which I still don't think that we're completely uncontroversial, because I think we still get a lot of pushback, we still get articles being like, this is a very radical place.
00:09:52
Speaker
And oh my god, how dare women suggest that they should have standards.
00:09:55
Speaker
But when I talk to like women on like the day to day, you know, just like average women I speak to around me, they
Online Engagement and Personal Well-being
00:10:01
Speaker
do not have this mindset.
00:10:02
Speaker
And if you're off the internet or interacting with people, you know, this to be true, but like the FTS mindset is not like the regular mindset to have.
00:10:09
Speaker
Like it's the only way that you would think the advice we're giving is like dated or not.
00:10:13
Speaker
We're keeping with the times as if your person was chronically online and you're consuming media and content again, given to you by an algorithm that knows what you're consuming.
00:10:21
Speaker
and is only showing you radical feminist content, it's very easy to convince yourself because of your online ecosystem that this is the conversation that all women are having with each other.
00:10:31
Speaker
And you'd be making a mistake because when you go out in real life and you have a conversation with a three-dimensional person that's not pixelated, you'll find out that that's not the case.
00:10:40
Speaker
And that's not how people are.
00:10:41
Speaker
It's so true.
00:10:42
Speaker
And you know, this is such a good point, Diana.
00:10:45
Speaker
And honestly, I want to share a little bit of something that's been a grievance of mine that I have not brought up to those people closest to me.
00:10:51
Speaker
All my friends, like we've talked about, we've never had problems having girlfriends or very robust social circles.
00:10:57
Speaker
I've always been somebody who's really popular.
00:10:59
Speaker
I don't understand it, but I've seen it enough to know it's true.
00:11:03
Speaker
And so that's something that's always been a saving grace for me.
00:11:06
Speaker
But when I tell you that now that thanks to FDS, my standards, my expectations, et cetera, all of those have been slowly shifting.
00:11:14
Speaker
And I think what's been last on the dock for me has been
00:11:18
Speaker
Last on the docket has been friendships, because those are the things that I'm like, most loaf to really interrogate and potentially change because it just feels scary.
00:11:28
Speaker
And it feels like everything that I have built is relying upon those people.
00:11:32
Speaker
And so one thing that's been really hard for me to understand and accept is like, how important am I to these friends?
00:11:39
Speaker
If not a one of them will actually take the time to listen to one single podcast.
00:11:43
Speaker
Like I have one friend who is listening to every single one.
00:11:46
Speaker
Thank you.
00:11:47
Speaker
Love you, friend.
00:11:47
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:11:48
Speaker
And she gives me feedback.
00:11:49
Speaker
And like, it's very helpful because I do want to know, you know, amongst my closest, how am I doing?
00:11:55
Speaker
What am I sounding like?
00:11:56
Speaker
Am I missing things?
00:11:57
Speaker
Like,
00:11:57
Speaker
I like a critical feedback, right?
00:11:59
Speaker
Like I come from a music background, we're used to critical feedback.
00:12:02
Speaker
That's just the name of the game.
00:12:03
Speaker
So I was really hoping I'd be hearing more from my friends on their thoughts.
00:12:06
Speaker
And like, oh, of all of my friends, only one is actually listening.
00:12:10
Speaker
They haven't even listened to a single podcast that I've done.
00:12:13
Speaker
And
00:12:13
Speaker
It's really got me reconsidering like the closeness I thought I had, the importance that I felt I had in their lives.
00:12:20
Speaker
And maybe this is me being too online as well, right?
00:12:23
Speaker
Because these are all women who have flourishing careers.
00:12:26
Speaker
They have children, they have husbands.
00:12:28
Speaker
But I think that's what I wanted to point out to our listeners was like, I come from a very regular run of the mill, average middle class, Midwestern background.
00:12:37
Speaker
All of the people that I'm surrounded by, all of the women, their lives are absolutely male centered.
00:12:42
Speaker
Their entire existence, the whole point of it is men and children.
00:12:46
Speaker
And again, that is what is the norm in the world.
00:12:49
Speaker
Like I am an apparition in the typical run of the mill things.
00:12:54
Speaker
And so when I actually like go out and I'm hanging out with my girlfriends and I'm listening to their stories of their husbands and like, and all the things that they have to do for their family and their household, because it's all on them, you know, they're all like,
00:13:09
Speaker
listen, we get it, Rose.
00:13:10
Speaker
Like if I had the kind of life you had, I don't know if I'd change it either.
00:13:13
Speaker
And it's like, well, I'm always saying to them, if you know somebody like, please introduce them to me, I'd much rather have an introduction among friends among people who've already been vetted.
00:13:23
Speaker
Like I don't date online, that's just not going to happen.
00:13:25
Speaker
I'm not going to date on apps.
00:13:27
Speaker
But when I say to them, like, if you have anybody, they're all like, oh, like there's this one guy, but he's really a whore.
00:13:32
Speaker
Or like, oh, there's this one guy, but like he's still dealing with alcoholism.
00:13:35
Speaker
And it's like, okay, so there is nobody amongst these circles.
00:13:38
Speaker
And I have vast circles.
00:13:40
Speaker
And so at this point, I'm actually like, you know, I've been going more and more to this.
00:13:44
Speaker
I'm part of an online group.
00:13:46
Speaker
Alcoholics, it's not Alcoholics Anonymous.
00:13:49
Speaker
I can't stand Alcoholics Anonymous and like God is a higher power and this and that.
00:13:53
Speaker
Coming from a Catholic, like a Reformed Catholic background, I cannot with that sort of pablum anymore.
00:13:58
Speaker
And so I found this non-religious, secular,
00:14:03
Speaker
Alcoholics Anonymous Forum, which has been fantastic.
00:14:05
Speaker
And they've been doing more and more events and activities.
00:14:08
Speaker
And I'm like, maybe I'll just need to go to more of these, especially living in the Midwest.
00:14:11
Speaker
Like everything's around drinking.
00:14:13
Speaker
And it's not that I have a problem being around drinking, but if that's your entire social calendar, like that's not going to gel with my lifestyle at this point.
00:14:22
Speaker
And I'm not going back.
00:14:23
Speaker
So all of this is to say, like, it's so easy to think that we're right and everybody understands and accepts our points.
00:14:31
Speaker
And why wouldn't you agree with us?
00:14:33
Speaker
But like, if you're out and about in the real world, you'll find that like, not only are we
00:14:37
Speaker
radical, like we're on the far end of radicalism.
00:14:40
Speaker
Like this shit is not mainstream.
00:14:43
Speaker
I'm happy that we're actually having forums and apps where you could see these points being distributed, but it's not how things are actually going down out there in the real world.
00:14:53
Speaker
No.
00:14:53
Speaker
And honestly, you know, even if you get approached by randos, like you still have to play like the same level of vetting.
00:15:00
Speaker
There's just no way around it.
00:15:02
Speaker
You know, I think a lot of people have turned online for advice and then they don't realize that like, yes, as much as the internet is real, it's also not real.
00:15:10
Speaker
Everything that's being sent to you is curated based on like what you're engaging with.
00:15:14
Speaker
If you're the kind of person who's engaging with a lot of like rad femme stuff in general, chances are that's what's being shown to you.
00:15:20
Speaker
So like, again, it's like it comes down to what you're consuming, right?
00:15:24
Speaker
Like, I had to put a cap on like, how many videos I was watching about women talking about how shit men are.
00:15:31
Speaker
Not because I don't believe that, but because I was like, well, if my plan is to de-center men, I really need to de-center them this way too.
00:15:37
Speaker
Because guess what a straight man isn't doing?
00:15:39
Speaker
I mean, like, you know, except the red-poed ones.
00:15:41
Speaker
They're definitely not on the internet watching videos about how much they hate women.
00:15:44
Speaker
They're just going and, you know, engaging their hobbies and doing their thing.
00:15:47
Speaker
Like, men are the main characters of their own lives.
00:15:49
Speaker
Like, why aren't we?
00:15:52
Speaker
Oh, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:15:56
Speaker
That's like a record scratch moment.
00:15:58
Speaker
Can you repeat what you just said, which is so wise?
00:16:01
Speaker
I expect red pill men to be obsessed with us because as much as they say they hate women, they want women.
00:16:06
Speaker
Okay.
00:16:07
Speaker
It's a cope.
00:16:08
Speaker
We can see that, right?
00:16:09
Speaker
We can see that they desperately want sexual access to women or romantic access to women.
00:16:12
Speaker
And like this entire identity that they formed is basically cope.
00:16:16
Speaker
Massive copium.
00:16:17
Speaker
But an average straight guy who is happy and content in his life, he doesn't look to the internet to find things that validate how much he hates women.
00:16:25
Speaker
He's just like using it for like hobbies or listening to, I don't know, Arctic monkeys or whatever the fuck, you know, how to, I don't know, hammer up some drywall.
00:16:33
Speaker
I don't know.
00:16:33
Speaker
I don't know what men consume.
00:16:35
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:16:37
Speaker
The point is, what you said was, men are the main characters of their own lives.
00:16:43
Speaker
And we act like we're not.
00:16:44
Speaker
We act like men are the main characters of our lives as well.
00:16:47
Speaker
And this is what I mean about, like, even when you decenter men, if all you're doing is consuming content talking about how shit they are, you're still centering them.
00:16:55
Speaker
Okay, you're still centered.
00:16:57
Speaker
I hate to break it to you.
00:16:58
Speaker
Like even like talking about them negatively.
Media Influence on Public Perception
00:17:00
Speaker
It's like all media is all publicity is good publicity.
00:17:03
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:17:03
Speaker
Even if you're giving them bad press, you're still giving them attention.
00:17:06
Speaker
You're still making them such a focus in your life.
00:17:08
Speaker
And this is why like, I want to do like a whole podcast sometime like about how being chronically online is like ruining you and causing you to self sabotage.
00:17:16
Speaker
Because I think a lot of the girlies are like on these social media apps and like constantly consuming media and messaging from other women who have bad experiences with men and are like ruminating in the soup of constantly being like, men are terrible, men are this, men are that.
00:17:29
Speaker
And like, we know this to be true, right?
00:17:31
Speaker
Like the thing is, when you're in these silos of information, no matter what your political ideology is, like even out of touch billionaires, they end up being out of touch because they don't have a grip on reality.
00:17:42
Speaker
But I often think many of us women who consume and who are just in these spaces and don't actually go out and interact with people, don't actually go and like, you know, try to diversify our social circles in terms of like events and like spaces that we go to.
00:17:55
Speaker
We end up developing this understanding of human beings around us that is completely curated by the Internet.
00:18:01
Speaker
Skewed.
00:18:02
Speaker
Completely informed by the Internet.
00:18:04
Speaker
And it's often not true.
00:18:06
Speaker
This is not to say that there aren't terrible, bad faith actors out there, that there aren't bad men, that there aren't men that will hurt you.
00:18:12
Speaker
Like we've gone over this enough through the handbook and FDS.
00:18:14
Speaker
Like there's a whole reason we have a strategy, right?
00:18:17
Speaker
There's a whole reason we have this because we acknowledge those people exist.
00:18:20
Speaker
But you're giving them way too much power over your life.
00:18:23
Speaker
And you're devoting too much of your time by constantly consuming media that is centered around hating them or putting them on a pedestal or being like, how can I find one?
00:18:32
Speaker
And I know this is very ironic for us to say, given what we do as a podcast, but this is the reason why we took the time off.
00:18:38
Speaker
And this is the reason why we do these like light fun filler episodes.
00:18:40
Speaker
And like we go off on trips and we just do our own thing because we are also human.
00:18:45
Speaker
We don't want to spend our entire time ruminating on how terrible men are either.
00:18:49
Speaker
You know, like we want to go and have relationships with people that are fulfilling.
00:18:53
Speaker
We want to have, you know, friendships with people that bring meaning.
00:18:56
Speaker
But yeah, we're trying to make sure we maintain a fullness of existence that cannot be if you are only ever with a device in your hand.
00:19:04
Speaker
That's such a good point, Diana.
00:19:06
Speaker
And this is something where we might have to have this episode if people want us to.
00:19:09
Speaker
But I feel so fortunate that I was like being the zennial that I am.
00:19:14
Speaker
I grew up in my childhood.
00:19:15
Speaker
There were no screens.
00:19:16
Speaker
I mean, there was a TV.
00:19:17
Speaker
But since I was the youngest, I never had the remote control.
00:19:19
Speaker
I never had power over the TV choices.
00:19:22
Speaker
So I never had anything to watch that I wanted to watch.
00:19:25
Speaker
So I never, ever.
00:19:26
Speaker
developed the habit of watching anything.
00:19:29
Speaker
What I did do was like go for walks out in the woods and daydream and like sleep under lilac bushes and like, you know, envision what my life was going to be like when I was older and look over the horizon and be like, what worlds are out there and read and listen to
00:19:43
Speaker
to music and play piano and like call my girlfriends and ask my mom if i could help her bake bread like i was doing things in the world and so that has always been my default now of course as everybody else has come along into the online world i'm on reddit all the time like you know i'm on like facebook marketplace because i'm always trying to find a good deal but that's maybe an hour or two a day which is probably too much as well but like now i have a dog i'm walking the dog i'm meeting the fellow dog walkers around here
00:20:09
Speaker
And it just reminds me like whenever I'm out and about for a certain age group, especially younger, like I would say anything 30 or below, I never see them a phone in their hands.
00:20:20
Speaker
And like, even when they're walking, they are staring down at the phone in their hands.
00:20:24
Speaker
And like, if they're not staring down at the phone at their hands, there's like almost a furtiveness, the constant checking, like their eyes are just always flicking down.
00:20:30
Speaker
Like they have such a reflex now that
00:20:33
Speaker
It's like it pains that they have to actually work to drag their eyes away, which is terrifying.
00:20:38
Speaker
And so this is something where I think, you know, if you're like, I don't mind all the time, like I don't get my groceries and this and that.
00:20:43
Speaker
When you're waiting in the grocery line, do you pull your phone out?
00:20:46
Speaker
If you're getting your nails done, are you on your phone?
00:20:49
Speaker
Like if you're going to church, are you able to leave your phone in the car?
00:20:52
Speaker
If you go to dinner with friends, can you leave your phone in the car?
00:20:55
Speaker
Can you not check it once during the course of the dinner time?
00:20:58
Speaker
If you cannot answer yes, this is something that you seriously have to come to terms and grapple with because the whole point of relationships, if you want to be dating for love, if you're looking for fulfillment and partnership, there is an intimacy that has to be cultivated and not just in dribs and drabs.
00:21:12
Speaker
It's a continual deepening and strengthening that has to come from being fully present and engaged with the person in front of you.
00:21:20
Speaker
I don't know how anybody's able to do that these days with like how dependent they are on having a screen to look to.
00:21:26
Speaker
Yep.
00:21:26
Speaker
And again, like, I think that people think that if you're not on your phone for five minutes, you're gonna like, you know, suddenly be misinformed.
00:21:32
Speaker
You're missing a nuclear Armageddon.
00:21:34
Speaker
Like you're missing the declaration of war or something.
00:21:37
Speaker
The longer you're on those apps, the longer you're going to be misinformed because they have you hooked and they have to keep on hitting your dopamine receptor with some inane garbage to convince you to stay on their platforms.
00:21:47
Speaker
OK, because every single news outlet now is essentially just sensationalist media that's there to essentially just tickle your brain receptors and be like, stay here for five more minutes so that we can get like, I don't know, payment and you can see our ads and whatnot.
00:22:00
Speaker
But like, here's the thing, right?
00:22:01
Speaker
Like, okay, I don't know that this is a controversial thing to say.
00:22:04
Speaker
You can be well informed without having to rely entirely on your phone.
00:22:09
Speaker
You know what I do when I want to find out what's going on in another country?
00:22:12
Speaker
I call up my friend from that country.
00:22:16
Speaker
What?
00:22:17
Speaker
I recognize that my country is going to have propaganda that's not going to feed me the full truth.
00:22:22
Speaker
And I think it would behoove a lot of people in the West to know that your media is going to put a spin on the story to convince you about certain things in other parts of the world.
00:22:31
Speaker
That's not entirely honest.
00:22:33
Speaker
It might be to your benefit to actually befriend people from other places and talk to them.
00:22:38
Speaker
Granted, they might also have propaganda on their end.
00:22:41
Speaker
But usually I find when I talk to enough people, I'm able to form an opinion.
00:22:44
Speaker
I'm able to find out what exactly is going on because everybody else is telling you what's going on in the ground right there.
00:22:50
Speaker
And that's something that you don't usually get in your media because, I mean, look at the stuff that happened to Luigi.
00:22:54
Speaker
The second they found out that people were on his side, they like got him out of the news cycle so fast.
00:22:58
Speaker
Like they're trying to make that billionaire guy seem so empathetic.
00:23:02
Speaker
And then they found out he's a scrote that like essentially abandoned his family.
00:23:05
Speaker
And I was like, I love this.
00:23:06
Speaker
No!
00:23:07
Speaker
It's so true.
00:23:09
Speaker
And what's funny is like, you know, thanks to Reddit, for example, I found out that there were all these world demonstrations and protests against Trump this last week.
00:23:17
Speaker
Not a single word of that was breathed anywhere on American media that I could see.
00:23:21
Speaker
How terrifying is that?
00:23:23
Speaker
Like the entire media landscape, we're like, well, some media is more conservative, some is more liberal, but like through one of them, we're going to hear this.
00:23:29
Speaker
Not a single one, which tells me they're already bending the knee, which is like one of the early warning signs of impending
00:23:36
Speaker
Fascism.
00:23:37
Speaker
Fascism.
00:23:38
Speaker
Manufacturer consent and all of that Lipman stuff, you know?
00:23:42
Speaker
All of it.
00:23:43
Speaker
And so, you know, I'm already terrified because I'm seeing how quickly the media is bending the knee and like issuing, you know, a nationwide blackout on anything that shows how the rest of the world is dealing with Trump.
00:23:56
Speaker
Like, I mean, I cannot believe in my lifetime.
00:23:59
Speaker
I'm seeing the return of Nazis.
00:24:00
Speaker
Like, can I just, I need to have a little rant for a minute.
00:24:03
Speaker
Yeah, go ahead.
00:24:04
Speaker
I have a little rant because today we're recording this as January 26.
00:24:06
Speaker
Trump ascended to power on the 20th.
00:24:09
Speaker
He was sworn in, although he refused to swear in a Bible, which I've conflicted because he clearly doesn't believe in the Bible.
00:24:15
Speaker
So he doesn't believe.
00:24:16
Speaker
So he's swearing to nothing.
00:24:17
Speaker
Like, what's the point of swearing if you don't have anything that you're like swearing allegiance to?
00:24:21
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:24:22
Speaker
Anyway, the point is the fuck shit that has already come down the pipeline.
00:24:27
Speaker
It's like unreal because I should have known they've been planning and plotting for years for his return.
00:24:31
Speaker
And they've been drawing up all of these bills they wanted to introduce right away, right off of the jump.
00:24:36
Speaker
But like, it is even wilder than I already was sort of a doomsday with Trump.
00:24:40
Speaker
I mean, from years ago, I was like, if this guy is like the second coming of Hitler, this is going to be awful.
00:24:46
Speaker
How did I know this?
00:24:47
Speaker
Because he was absolutely like my father.
00:24:49
Speaker
And I know how radical my father was.
00:24:52
Speaker
And he has turned one of my brothers into the same, you know, spitting image of that brother I've had to cut off because of how hateful he became.
00:25:00
Speaker
And so when Trump came around, I was like, Oh, shit, like men love this kind of guy, you know, the men that I know, the men that I come from, this is their kind of guy.
00:25:08
Speaker
And I always have like doomsday leanings, but it's gotten even worse than I could have anticipated, which is really dismaying.
00:25:14
Speaker
It's really disheartening.
00:25:15
Speaker
Like,
00:25:15
Speaker
I was saying to Diana in the pre-show, Trump wants to invade Greenland?
00:25:20
Speaker
Like, what the fuck?
00:25:21
Speaker
Who even drinks?
00:25:22
Speaker
Who imagines this?
00:25:23
Speaker
Who dreams this shit up?
00:25:25
Speaker
Like, oh my God.
00:25:26
Speaker
Of course, it's probably backed by Russia.
00:25:28
Speaker
But the point is, all of this is coming down the pipeline because, as you say, manufacturing of consent.
00:25:36
Speaker
There's also been the manufacturing of divisions.
00:25:38
Speaker
And they have got us so divided right now.
00:25:40
Speaker
And it's like, don't you see that it's the rich against everybody else?
00:25:43
Speaker
No, instead
Misinformation and Historical Lessons
00:25:44
Speaker
they want it to be like, oh, it's trans women in sports or, you know, it's health care pharmacy.
00:25:51
Speaker
They're not making enough profit.
00:25:53
Speaker
So we have to think about like the health care industry as a whole.
00:25:56
Speaker
It's so wild to me how people don't peel away the sort of veil to see what's beneath, you know, this sort of circus that's happening.
00:26:04
Speaker
The surface, yeah.
00:26:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:06
Speaker
But at the same time, like, I'm somebody who comes from an English lit background.
00:26:10
Speaker
My training is literally in, like, semiotics and linguistics.
00:26:13
Speaker
How to understand, how to read between the lines, how to see what's not being said.
00:26:18
Speaker
And so I think I've been very advantageous in, like, the fact that I can read and consume so much media,
00:26:24
Speaker
and then be able to draw my own conclusion, right?
00:26:26
Speaker
Because what I'm doing is I'm drawing from five to 10 sources.
00:26:29
Speaker
I'm seeing what's true amongst all of them.
00:26:31
Speaker
I'm seeing where there's dissent.
00:26:33
Speaker
And then I'm like able to find a happy medium, like figuring out what more or less has happened.
00:26:37
Speaker
But who has the time for that?
00:26:38
Speaker
And certainly who has the training for that?
00:26:40
Speaker
And so we are seeing like the rotten fruits of this ongoing effort between, you know, the dumbing down of the populace and also like, I would say Russia's
00:26:49
Speaker
propaganda machine misinformation machine has been perfected and now we're dealing with like the rise of fascism and i can't fucking believe in my lifetime or in any lifetime that's within like basically the same century as the holocaust we're seeing it again like elon musk and his what c kyle yep yep the nazi salute yep the fucking nazi salute like on behind the american emblem
00:27:15
Speaker
on a world stage and nothing.
00:27:17
Speaker
Like a lot of the media sources were like, oh, Elon Musk had an awkward gesture and some people think it resembles.
00:27:24
Speaker
It's like, oh my God.
00:27:25
Speaker
You know, this was something in George Orwell where he was like, you know, the party taught you to disbelieve your eyes.
00:27:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:32
Speaker
Disbelieve the evidence of your own eyes.
00:27:34
Speaker
It was their last defense or something like that.
00:27:36
Speaker
Last, yeah.
00:27:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:37
Speaker
their last and most effective command.
00:27:39
Speaker
And like, I'm seeing it in real time.
00:27:40
Speaker
And it's just so wild.
00:27:42
Speaker
I'm like, Oh, my God, the United States, why?
00:27:44
Speaker
Why are we so fucking crazy?
00:27:46
Speaker
Also, something that I found really triggering about that was people being like, Oh, no, he's just autistic.
00:27:51
Speaker
And like, I have to say, one of the things that really pissed me off, you know, I used to have this friend who was autistic, okay.
00:27:59
Speaker
And a lot of the times he would say these really downright bigoted things and people would brush it off because they'd be like, oh, well, he has autism.
00:28:05
Speaker
So like, he doesn't mean it.
00:28:07
Speaker
And I was like, I find this really offensive to like the women who have autism because I've never met a woman with autism who is a bigoted person or a hateful person.
00:28:16
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:28:16
Speaker
Like, sure, they might miss social cues and things like that.
00:28:19
Speaker
Like, of course, people on the spectrum are, you know, there's like a wide range, right, of like your experience.
00:28:25
Speaker
Like when people start defending bigotry under the name of like, oh, no, well, he's just autistic.
00:28:30
Speaker
I feel like men are given this grace and this like leniency that women are not.
00:28:33
Speaker
Like, I don't really like them excusing it as like, oh, he's just mentally ill.
00:28:37
Speaker
He didn't mean to like do the Hitler salute.
00:28:39
Speaker
I'm like, excuse me?
00:28:41
Speaker
Also, because like one of the lesser known things is he had like a video call with like a German alt right party, like either earlier that day or later that day.
00:28:49
Speaker
Later that day.
00:28:50
Speaker
Yeah, where he was like, y'all shouldn't feel sad about like the shit that your ancestors did.
00:28:55
Speaker
And like, like, you know what I mean?
00:28:56
Speaker
Like that there's nothing more obvious than that, like what he meant by that, because he went on to like talk to like this German alt right group and say you shouldn't feel sad about the past, you know?
00:29:04
Speaker
And I have a German friend and she's in the States right now.
00:29:07
Speaker
And she was like, oh my God, I suddenly feel like I'm in my grandmother's country.
00:29:11
Speaker
I feel like I'm on her timeline.
00:29:12
Speaker
Like it feels like we went like, you know, 70, 80 years back.
00:29:16
Speaker
That's all it took, you know, to go back to this.
00:29:19
Speaker
And it's like, we are at like the worst timeline.
00:29:21
Speaker
We know that, right?
00:29:22
Speaker
Me too, yes.
00:29:24
Speaker
And I think a lot of it has to do from being online.
00:29:26
Speaker
That's our whole point is like being chronically online can lead to these sort of nefarious ends because back in the day,
00:29:34
Speaker
if you were Elon Musk, I don't care if you were autistic or not.
00:29:37
Speaker
If you were in like 1960s America and you did that, you were getting fucking punched in the face in real time.
00:29:44
Speaker
You know, you had consequences and you had shame in real time.
00:29:47
Speaker
Now you have like an echo chamber of people being like, oh, he's just misunderstood.
00:29:51
Speaker
He didn't understand.
00:29:52
Speaker
He was autistic.
00:29:54
Speaker
Oh, he was just waving like all of these, you know, this fuck bucket of people like
00:29:58
Speaker
having different opinions.
00:29:59
Speaker
No, he should be punched in the face and like dragged off and tarred and feathered.
00:30:04
Speaker
But because everything's online, it's not happening.
00:30:06
Speaker
And I think that's why it's getting so radicalized because shame has always been one of the most effective tools of human society, right?
00:30:13
Speaker
Like it's not that people have always disbehaved and there was perfect justice.
00:30:18
Speaker
But there was a lot more recourse amongst society and your social circles to punish and demonstrate if somebody was acting out of line.
00:30:27
Speaker
Also, there was some like integrity.
00:30:28
Speaker
There was some honesty.
00:30:29
Speaker
I mean, some of these people, like their parents are probably their grandparents served in the army for the States, like when they were in World War II.
00:30:36
Speaker
Like you're spitting on your grandparents' sacrifices to bring you a just world.
00:30:41
Speaker
And now you're inviting Nazis to your doorstep.
00:30:43
Speaker
Like your ancestors are very disappointed.
00:30:46
Speaker
Let me just start with that, you know?
00:30:48
Speaker
They are turning over in their grave.
00:30:51
Speaker
They are the sands of their dead bones are shifting in indignation.
00:30:55
Speaker
Like it is.
Personal Happiness and Societal Expectations
00:30:57
Speaker
It's just it's so crazy that we're living in the worst timeline.
00:30:59
Speaker
But what I will say is this.
00:31:01
Speaker
One of the things that people seem to really like about me is the energy and the joy that I exude.
00:31:07
Speaker
I get this compliment from people all the time.
00:31:09
Speaker
In fact, I just had another interview this last week where like the first thing she said was, I love your energy.
00:31:14
Speaker
I get that all the time.
00:31:14
Speaker
I get it from cashiers and checkout people.
00:31:16
Speaker
And like, I'm not doing anything intentionally.
00:31:19
Speaker
I'm just being myself.
00:31:20
Speaker
And I'm always like, well, thank you so much.
00:31:23
Speaker
And you know why I'm so happy.
00:31:25
Speaker
They're like, why?
00:31:25
Speaker
I'm like, I don't watch the news.
00:31:27
Speaker
They're like, oh yeah.
00:31:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:29
Speaker
I need to stop watching the news.
00:31:30
Speaker
I'm like, I'm not saying I don't look and get information about the world and current events.
00:31:36
Speaker
Okay, let's not mistake the two.
00:31:38
Speaker
Here's the thing.
00:31:39
Speaker
We are well informed people.
00:31:40
Speaker
We just choose not to have this shit be spewed down our throats every day ad nauseum.
00:31:46
Speaker
That's the real difference.
00:31:47
Speaker
Like you don't know how much limiting social media usage will just improve your life.
00:31:52
Speaker
Like also so much of my work is like online.
00:31:55
Speaker
Like I spend at least eight hours on screen writing and doing stuff researching.
00:31:59
Speaker
And so like I tend to be very well informed because I spend most of my workday on the internet.
00:32:05
Speaker
So when I don't have to be I'm just not like even right now, even when I record the podcast with you, I'm usually not directly looking at the screen.
00:32:13
Speaker
I'm usually just like standing up moving around like you know, while you're speaking and like yeah, I try to give myself some like, don't always engage with the screen time and just like focus on your voice and like, you know, ground myself with like what you're saying.
00:32:25
Speaker
Like, I think the more that we sit and distract ourselves, like I know people who can't even be on like a Zoom call meeting because they have to be online shopping at the same time.
00:32:33
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:32:34
Speaker
Like people don't realize how scattered their attention has become because you want all of these like easily digestible bites.
00:32:40
Speaker
Like how quickly can I find my high value man?
00:32:43
Speaker
Where should I go to find a high value man?
00:32:45
Speaker
What are five ways to find, figure out whether you're a high value man is secretly a Nazi?
00:32:49
Speaker
I'm like, okay, you need to put the Buzzfeedification of FDS down.
00:32:54
Speaker
Please.
00:32:54
Speaker
just gonna say the BuzzFeed of vacation.
00:32:57
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:32:57
Speaker
We are on the same mental track right there.
00:33:00
Speaker
Like, that's why they're so successful.
00:33:02
Speaker
Yeah, because it's simple.
00:33:03
Speaker
And I mean, I wish we could offer you the simple news of like, it's this easy to find a life partner who's going to treat you with respect, but like, it's going to take a lot more work from you.
00:33:11
Speaker
And that's the challenge of it all.
00:33:13
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:33:14
Speaker
Like, in order to have the life that you want, it's going to be a challenge.
00:33:17
Speaker
It's not going to be easy because you're in a terrible timeline.
00:33:21
Speaker
You're in a timeline where basic human decency, integrity, respect and kindness has been thrown out of the window.
00:33:26
Speaker
I mean, I think even conservative people can make that argument because most of them, we all don't live in a world where we get along with each other.
00:33:32
Speaker
Like, this is the fact of life.
00:33:34
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:33:34
Speaker
Like, it doesn't matter what end of the political spectrum you're on.
00:33:37
Speaker
I think one thing we can all agree on is we don't get along.
00:33:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:41
Speaker
Totally true.
00:33:42
Speaker
I don't think anybody is in disagreement about that.
00:33:45
Speaker
I think that's something that we're all like, yeah, we're like every single person complains about like how life isn't like how it used to be.
00:33:50
Speaker
Well, agreed.
00:33:52
Speaker
Nobody's disagreeing on that point.
00:33:53
Speaker
Right.
00:33:54
Speaker
But like at the end of the day, you are spending so much of your time in a place where is designed to make you miserable.
00:34:01
Speaker
And that's what we feel about dating apps too.
00:34:02
Speaker
These are designed to make you unhappy.
00:34:04
Speaker
They're not designed to bring you joy.
00:34:06
Speaker
They're not designed to make you happy.
00:34:08
Speaker
They're not designed to bring you everlasting love.
00:34:11
Speaker
And you're buying into very effective marketing and propaganda.
00:34:14
Speaker
And that's what it all is.
00:34:16
Speaker
It's very effective marketing and propaganda.
00:34:18
Speaker
Anybody who comes to you and says, I have an easy solution for your problems is a snake oil salesman.
00:34:23
Speaker
You should know that by now.
00:34:25
Speaker
Especially growing up and even into my 30s, you know, I really thought there was like one solution that made everything easier and like my true heart's desire to my door.
00:34:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:33
Speaker
And you know what there is?
00:34:34
Speaker
Me creating my own life.
00:34:37
Speaker
That was the hard sell that I had to sell to myself.
00:34:39
Speaker
It was like, listen, nobody's coming to save you.
00:34:41
Speaker
Your family's not going to suddenly start being supportive and loving and caring and giving a shit about you.
00:34:46
Speaker
Your friends aren't all of a sudden going to decide that you're the most important thing in their lives.
00:34:50
Speaker
You have to be the most important thing in your life and proceed accordingly.
00:34:53
Speaker
And ever since I took those steps, I've
00:34:57
Speaker
I cannot tell you how immeasurably better my life has been.
00:34:59
Speaker
And it's funny because, you know, we're always like, well, just be the partner that you want to see.
00:35:04
Speaker
And they will appear before you like, no, all of this is just bullshit that people say, because they don't want to actually face the reality that sometimes you're not going to find somebody or sometimes you're going to find somebody and they're perfect for five years.
00:35:15
Speaker
And then they cheat on you with your sister.
00:35:17
Speaker
Like there's no guarantee humans are going to human, you know, but what I can control what's within my seat of power is my own life and my own choices.
00:35:26
Speaker
And so it's been really interesting as I've become like an even more joyous person.
00:35:29
Speaker
I've always been a real, you know, Pollyanna.
00:35:31
Speaker
I think I've said that from the beginning.
00:35:32
Speaker
And when Diana did my reading, she was like, well, don't wonder, like this is, you're born under all these signs.
00:35:38
Speaker
Like, oh my gosh, I'm not just a naive idiot.
00:35:41
Speaker
No, this is like, it's written in the stars.
00:35:43
Speaker
But no, the point is, you know, for a while I was like, I was trying not to become bitter and cynical.
00:35:47
Speaker
And it was because I
00:35:48
Speaker
I was trying to date and I was trying to like, you know, find my perfect love match and it wasn't happening.
00:35:53
Speaker
And I was like, well, what am I doing wrong?
00:35:54
Speaker
It has to be something that I'm doing wrong.
00:35:56
Speaker
Well, ultimately what I had to realize was like this dating market is shit.
00:36:00
Speaker
It's very selective, like a selective, you are going to find really happy, healthy relationships.
00:36:05
Speaker
The rest are going to settle for like dysfunctional relationships because they'd rather have those than be alone.
00:36:11
Speaker
And then there are those who are single who are finding happiness and meaning in their own lives.
00:36:15
Speaker
And I was like, okay, well, I guess that's what I might have to choose.
00:36:17
Speaker
Cause like, clearly it's not been in the cards so far, but something I want people to also consider is like, maybe we're not meant to find the person we're with in our early twenties or thirties.
00:36:28
Speaker
Look, I think we said this in the pre-chat as well.
00:36:30
Speaker
I think it's very hard for some women to accept
00:36:33
Speaker
that they are not voluntarily single.
00:36:35
Speaker
Some of you are not single by choice.
00:36:37
Speaker
Some of you are single and like waiting to be in the next relationship.
Decentering Men and Active Listening
00:36:40
Speaker
And you need to deal with that.
00:36:42
Speaker
Because the truth is, like, I've had these conversations with women where women have been like, how come you're not like bitter and jaded about being single?
00:36:48
Speaker
And like,
00:36:48
Speaker
I've also had women be like, Oh, why do you hate men so much?
00:36:50
Speaker
And I'm like, I don't.
00:36:52
Speaker
I frankly, I don't think about them at all.
00:36:54
Speaker
Like the men that I have in my life are lovely.
00:36:56
Speaker
I have no reason to have any grievance or anything towards them.
00:36:59
Speaker
Like I just don't think about them.
00:37:01
Speaker
But that's the thing, right?
00:37:01
Speaker
If all you do is think about men, a person who doesn't think about a man looks like she hates a man.
00:37:05
Speaker
I don't hate a man.
00:37:06
Speaker
I just don't like they don't factor into my life.
00:37:08
Speaker
It's like asking me if I hate waffles.
00:37:10
Speaker
I've never even thought about a waffle until you brought it up.
00:37:13
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:37:14
Speaker
You could say, oh, I like pancakes.
00:37:16
Speaker
And then someone would be like, ah, you fucking hate waffles, don't you?
00:37:18
Speaker
I'm like, um, those are two separate thoughts.
00:37:21
Speaker
Okay.
00:37:22
Speaker
I have nothing to do with each other.
00:37:24
Speaker
Like if I say I like being single, they're like, why do you hate men?
00:37:27
Speaker
Where is this coming from?
00:37:28
Speaker
Right.
00:37:29
Speaker
And this is something that we were talking about in the pre-show is like, because of this online discourse and like the different ways in which we've been entrained to interact, we're
00:37:39
Speaker
A lot of times what we've forgotten is how to just listen to listen, like how to actively listen.
00:37:44
Speaker
A lot of times, and this was also back when I was a lot more miserable in my singleness because I'm not now, but I was for a very long time.
00:37:50
Speaker
I mean, I used to sob.
00:37:51
Speaker
I was so heartbroken that I hadn't found my forever true love and that I wasn't starting with a family I'd always dreamed of.
00:37:56
Speaker
Because, you know, coming from a dysfunctional family, a very common trauma response and cult is to dream of the family you're going to have one day that's going to be the family of your dreams, the idealized version that you didn't get to have growing up.
00:38:08
Speaker
So that my whole life was like based on it was staked on finding this and making this happen.
00:38:13
Speaker
And when it didn't happen, I mean, I was bereft, you know, I was truly devastated and heartbroken.
00:38:19
Speaker
But I started to turn the page when I was like, well, you know, but does this mean I'm not supposed to enjoy my life?
00:38:24
Speaker
Like, I'm just supposed to sit here and grieve for what never happened?
00:38:28
Speaker
That doesn't sound like a really healthy way to go about living, you know, and I started to interrogate it and get a therapist and
00:38:33
Speaker
turn the page.
00:38:34
Speaker
And it's been amazing.
00:38:35
Speaker
But like, what I learned was back when I was so eager to find my one true love, and live the life I always thought I should have, you know, I had like a list of talking points ready for anybody who was giving me advice.
00:38:49
Speaker
Or even if I was on a date, I was like, Okay, well, here's a script I can use.
00:38:52
Speaker
And this is going to help me find somebody
00:38:54
Speaker
Well, what it did was it made me not actually connect with the person in front of me.
00:38:57
Speaker
I wasn't actually listening to listen.
00:38:59
Speaker
I was listening to rebut and to respond.
00:39:02
Speaker
Do you know what I mean?
00:39:03
Speaker
And this is something that I think a lot of us are dealing with now because of being online all the time.
00:39:07
Speaker
We're just waiting our turn to speak instead of actually hearing what the person in front of us is saying.
00:39:13
Speaker
We're hearing to respond and not to listen.
00:39:15
Speaker
Another thing is like, you know, because of how easy it is to stalk and like intrude on somebody else's life, people are like internet sleuthing to find out all they can about like the people that they're dating.
00:39:25
Speaker
And fair enough, like, you know, in FDS, we encourage the snooping.
00:39:28
Speaker
We encourage the like, if you feel like something suspicious about a man, you should do it.
00:39:32
Speaker
But it never replaces active listening.
00:39:35
Speaker
You're going to find out so much more about that man listening to him on dates than you ever will by
Social Media's False Realities
00:39:39
Speaker
just snooping on him.
00:39:39
Speaker
Because yes, snooping on him will tell you certain things like, you know, if his likes are, I don't know if you can still see what people like on Instagram anymore.
00:39:46
Speaker
But once upon a time, you could see if he liked, you know, all of these like, Instagram baddies, but now you can see if he follows them.
00:39:53
Speaker
You know, you can see if he's like, if he's got like a list of people of like, you have naked women that he follows.
00:39:58
Speaker
I mean, again, those are like very glaring red flags.
00:40:00
Speaker
Some men are more savvy than that.
00:40:01
Speaker
Like not all of them are that stupid.
00:40:03
Speaker
Some of them have brains and the ones that have brains are going to be a lot more careful about how they present themselves online, especially if it's attached to their business or it's attached to a professional reputation.
00:40:13
Speaker
They're going to be a lot more careful about how they present themselves online.
00:40:16
Speaker
And so it's never going to replace active listening.
00:40:19
Speaker
And I think a lot of people, you know, like they look at what they see online, and they're like, well, this can happen for me too.
00:40:23
Speaker
And it's like, oh, you're looking at this person because of an image they're projecting on in a very curated format, like social media.
00:40:29
Speaker
And I think younger women are taken by this a lot more.
00:40:31
Speaker
Because again, like I probably grew up in the last group of people who did not have their child that's affected by social media.
00:40:37
Speaker
Like by the time I graduated high school, I don't know, maybe a couple of years into college, maybe later into college is when Instagram became a thing.
00:40:44
Speaker
And like Tinder had like wasn't even a thing at that point.
00:40:46
Speaker
So like,
00:40:47
Speaker
You know, we still had to deal with three dimensional people.
00:40:50
Speaker
We weren't like engaging with each other just on like based on an image that we saw, you know, that was heavily facetuned and whatnot.
00:40:57
Speaker
Like we didn't know about these things.
00:40:58
Speaker
We took pictures and then we oversaturated them to dead till we looked orange.
00:41:01
Speaker
And then we posted like five different versions of that on Facebook.
00:41:04
Speaker
And like that was our extent of being very trendy photograph, photograph wise, like
00:41:10
Speaker
We didn't know what the hell we were doing on the internet when we were on the internet.
00:41:13
Speaker
Okay, it was fun.
00:41:15
Speaker
Now it's not fun.
00:41:16
Speaker
And like younger women are like looking at these social media couples, and they're taking it as like fact that this is what healthy relationships are supposed to look like.
00:41:23
Speaker
And very often, like those people are selling to you as well.
00:41:27
Speaker
That's right.
00:41:28
Speaker
Those people are marketing to you as well.
00:41:29
Speaker
Sometimes their brand as a couple is what pays them.
00:41:33
Speaker
And I think a lot of people can't like see reality from fiction anymore.
00:41:37
Speaker
Like a lot of people are just completely attached to what they see as an image on online.
00:41:43
Speaker
Like, you know, for example, like things that are not said to you directly, like just because somebody is not saying it on the internet does not mean that that's like some people say things and do the complete opposite.
00:41:51
Speaker
Just because somebody says it on a podcast or somebody says it on the internet doesn't mean that that's what necessarily what they're doing.
00:41:57
Speaker
And this is something we also discussed in our pre-talk, which was like, don't forget that.
00:42:01
Speaker
So as many of us become wiser and savvier about, you know, the fallout of having posted something, you know, radical or inflammatory, a lot of these men have moved everything to private group chats offline.
00:42:14
Speaker
Like we were just saying in Germany, there was like 70,000 men on this telegram app.
00:42:20
Speaker
South Korea as well had this, maybe it was like 300,000.
00:42:22
Speaker
And it's like them swapping pictures of like raping their mothers and sisters.
00:42:26
Speaker
daughters and whatnot.
00:42:27
Speaker
This has become very normal for young teenage boys I hear like in a lot of schools because our friends who are teachers in schools and stuff.
00:42:32
Speaker
And they tell me that like these boys have like WhatsApp groups where they circulate their girlfriends nudes and things like that, like with each other, you know, so this is becoming very normal as porn has become more normalized for men.
00:42:43
Speaker
Like you have no idea what conversations he's having with men outside of you.
00:42:47
Speaker
Women and women's bodies are used as currency in men's games of prestige.
00:42:52
Speaker
Yep, yep, yep.
00:42:53
Speaker
So not only do you have to be careful with like what you share online, I do think that like, I remember, I think it was like a couple of years ago before, I think it was like right before Savannah reached out to me for the podcast gig.
00:43:05
Speaker
But I was on a hiatus from all social media.
00:43:07
Speaker
I didn't have anything.
00:43:08
Speaker
I didn't have Facebook.
00:43:09
Speaker
I didn't have Instagram.
00:43:09
Speaker
I didn't have X. I still don't have any of those platforms, by the way.
00:43:13
Speaker
Like, you know, because once I went off of them, I was like, okay, I'm not missing anything.
00:43:16
Speaker
Because I realized I was like, oh, I have close friends.
00:43:19
Speaker
If those close friends want me to know things, they'll send that to me themselves.
00:43:22
Speaker
And now it's encouraged this thing where like, I'm like the grandma of the group where they like send me photos of their holidays and stuff.
00:43:28
Speaker
But now they have to explain to me what they did.
00:43:30
Speaker
And they love that.
00:43:31
Speaker
They love sending me voice notes about like, oh, this is what I saw in Prague.
00:43:34
Speaker
And this is what my baby ate last like yesterday morning, even though I'm like, I never asked for this.
00:43:38
Speaker
But sure, give it to me.
00:43:40
Speaker
I want to know what little Bob ate.
00:43:43
Speaker
It's always Bob.
00:43:44
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:43:46
Speaker
It's always little Bob, little Bobby.
00:43:47
Speaker
Little Bob.
00:43:48
Speaker
Little Bob.
00:43:49
Speaker
When he's not being a total asshole, little Bob is eating, you know, his breakfast.
00:43:53
Speaker
But like, I mean, like it encouraged like a level of one to one connection that my friends would not be forced to because like, I think Instagram and these platforms make things so passive.
00:44:01
Speaker
It's like you feel connected to people just because you're like seeing their stories and whatnot, but it's not real connection.
00:44:07
Speaker
It's like you're getting a slideshow of people's highlights in their life without really engaging with it in any meaningful way.
00:44:13
Speaker
Yeah, I think they're calling this parasociality, right?
00:44:16
Speaker
Parasocial relationships.
00:44:18
Speaker
Parasocial behaviors.
00:44:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:20
Speaker
And what it does is like, I mean, with celebrities and stuff, like I have, you know, some friends who are celebrities as well.
00:44:24
Speaker
And now it's like the entitlement that people feel to them that like, oh, you need to be giving me every last tidbit of your life and what's going on in your life.
00:44:31
Speaker
I'm like, this is weird.
00:44:32
Speaker
Like, I would never demand this from people I know.
00:44:34
Speaker
let alone people I don't.
00:44:36
Speaker
Like you should be telling me the intimate details of your private life.
00:44:38
Speaker
What's going on?
00:44:38
Speaker
Who are you dating?
00:44:39
Speaker
Where are you right now?
00:44:40
Speaker
Like it's so bizarre that people think that these are normal things just because they see it on the internet.
00:44:45
Speaker
But that's what happens.
00:44:45
Speaker
It's like you get on these stories, you zoom through people.
00:44:49
Speaker
Again, like the app is well designed because it's essentially getting you to compete with your own social circle, right?
00:44:54
Speaker
You're the most miserable one.
00:44:56
Speaker
Everybody else is doing really well.
00:44:57
Speaker
You're single.
00:44:58
Speaker
You don't have a boyfriend.
00:44:59
Speaker
She's married.
00:45:00
Speaker
She has kids.
00:45:00
Speaker
She has the perfect life and you don't.
00:45:02
Speaker
And it's intentional.
00:45:03
Speaker
It's there to make you feel insecure.
00:45:05
Speaker
Right?
00:45:05
Speaker
When I went off of those apps, I just stopped giving a shit.
00:45:08
Speaker
And what ended up happening is the people who were close to me who I always expected would keep in touch with me, those were the ones who reached out to me one on one was like, this is what's going on in my life.
00:45:16
Speaker
We did proper check ins with each other.
00:45:17
Speaker
You know, if I wasn't able to get a hold of them, because
Generational Differences in Digital Engagement
00:45:20
Speaker
they weren't on this platform or that platform, we used Oh my god, this is gonna make me sound so dated.
00:45:25
Speaker
We use the email.
00:45:27
Speaker
The email?
00:45:28
Speaker
You used the email?
00:45:29
Speaker
They wrote the electronic email to me.
00:45:31
Speaker
Not the email.
00:45:32
Speaker
Actually, you know what?
00:45:34
Speaker
I sent postcards to people this year and I was like, wow, I feel like I'm from 1962.
00:45:39
Speaker
Like I'm sending you a letter from this post office.
00:45:42
Speaker
Like it was just so funny.
00:45:44
Speaker
Actually, my family and friends love that about me, like for birthdays and the holidays.
00:45:48
Speaker
And just randomly, I will send cards of like a little postcards or little stamps or I'll send, you know, some fun stickers I found or like they love to get it in the mail.
00:45:58
Speaker
And I love to send it.
00:45:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:00
Speaker
But I think, see, like, for those of us who grew up without this being a mainstay, we still know how to go back to it.
00:46:05
Speaker
And like, a lot of the people who are in the same age range as us, like, it's probably not that hard for us to maintain those kinds of relationships.
00:46:12
Speaker
But I really do feel for younger people, because I think for some of them, they've never not known a situation that wasn't digital.
00:46:18
Speaker
And like, nothing was analog, everything was digital.
00:46:20
Speaker
And so everything is down to like, how many likes can I get on the gram?
00:46:23
Speaker
And like, what does my life look like on TikTok?
00:46:25
Speaker
And like,
00:46:26
Speaker
Why don't I have this like couple goals situation going on?
00:46:28
Speaker
And like you're measuring yourself to people being like, oh, you know, like people posting shit like how did I land my high value man?
00:46:34
Speaker
Like, come on, girl.
00:46:35
Speaker
Like, this is advertising.
00:46:37
Speaker
This is advertising.
00:46:38
Speaker
This is not real.
00:46:39
Speaker
And you have to stop like this.
00:46:40
Speaker
What I mean by like limiting your social media use is going to improve your life because you're comparing your life to people who are sometimes straight up lying to you.
00:46:47
Speaker
straight up lying, you know, like, you don't know that their relationship is all that, like, they're just telling you what they need to get sponsorship from, I don't know, like, lime bikes, or whatever, you know what I mean?
00:46:56
Speaker
Like, you can't take it seriously.
00:46:58
Speaker
And but the thing is, that's what we've reached a stage where people are like, it's not just misinformation about politics.
00:47:04
Speaker
It's misinformation about what your happy life is supposed to look like people are learning cues before used to be advertising, right?
00:47:11
Speaker
Buy this product.
00:47:12
Speaker
This is what you need to have a happy life.
00:47:14
Speaker
Now it's social media, you can have our happy life.
00:47:18
Speaker
If you do these, these, these, these things, it hasn't changed.
00:47:21
Speaker
Just the medium has changed.
00:47:23
Speaker
And I think for a lot of young people, it's like, oh, but how can I go out?
00:47:25
Speaker
Like, we're hearing a lot about Gen Z being like, they don't drink, they don't have sex, they're not socializing, they're all on their phones.
00:47:31
Speaker
We hear this shit all the time.
00:47:32
Speaker
And it's like, well, one part of it is their spaces have been taken away from them.
00:47:36
Speaker
Second part is like, they're working like dogs, right?
00:47:39
Speaker
So yes, they already have these two things working against them.
00:47:41
Speaker
But the third is like, even when I meet like younger people, you know, decade younger than me, I noticed like they're not that comfortable talking to each other.
00:47:48
Speaker
They don't know how to do the small chit chat because they're so used to doing everything online.
00:47:52
Speaker
Like again, I can always tell when someone is chronically online because they just sound different.
00:47:56
Speaker
It's like everything that they feel and know about the world is something they've completely plucked out of TikTok.
00:48:00
Speaker
And it's very obvious to tell them apart from people who are like engaging with everyday people.
00:48:05
Speaker
You know, and like lots of countries have a problem with this very online population.
00:48:09
Speaker
Like if you look at like Japan and stuff with like hikikomores and stuff like that's how incel culture bred.
00:48:14
Speaker
A lot of these people are extremely online and like this is not good for your mental health.
00:48:18
Speaker
And like the reason we're saying this to women is because I'm starting to see a rise of this in women too and it's causing massive depression.
00:48:25
Speaker
Because a lot of them are setting stakes with like, okay, well, why haven't I found my high value man yet?
00:48:29
Speaker
And what should I do?
00:48:30
Speaker
And maybe like, it's not like feng shui.
00:48:32
Speaker
It's not like if you orient yourself in a different position, and you just go to a different side of the room, you'll suddenly meet a high value man, because the cosmos is aligning with you.
00:48:40
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:48:41
Speaker
Like, this is not how it works.
00:48:43
Speaker
Right.
00:48:44
Speaker
There's no formula.
00:48:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:46
Speaker
Unfortunately, the formula is with everything, you have to take a leap of faith.
00:48:50
Speaker
You have to trust that the person won't screw you over and you have to trust yourself to walk away if they do.
00:48:54
Speaker
Ooh, because that's the thing.
00:48:56
Speaker
It's like, again, you can only control your own actions.
00:49:00
Speaker
For me, you know, I've actually somebody who's become, I wouldn't say like I've become less trusting, but more
00:49:08
Speaker
hopeful for men.
00:49:09
Speaker
I think that's how I would say it.
00:49:11
Speaker
It's like, yeah, I don't necessarily believe them, but I'm hopeful that they could like follow their word and that they're acting in good faith because that's how I'm coming to the situation.
Personal Energy and Dating Strategies
00:49:19
Speaker
Right.
00:49:19
Speaker
And then if they demonstrate otherwise, that what I have developed faith in is that I will walk away.
00:49:25
Speaker
And that is the most powerful feeling.
00:49:26
Speaker
And what's been interesting is like, you know, a lot of times when I meet men, they have a weird reaction to me because like, they're both attracted to me and repelled.
00:49:33
Speaker
And I think a lot of it is because I'm
00:49:36
Speaker
They're attracted to me because they feel seen and heard because I'm very present when I'm with someone.
00:49:41
Speaker
But they're also repelled because I am so joyful and I am so almost like childlike with my wonderment of the world.
00:49:47
Speaker
And I think that that disturbs them because so often what they're taught is that to be a man is to be cynical and closed and hard.
00:49:55
Speaker
And I'm soft and gentle and like, you know, whimsical and funny.
00:50:00
Speaker
And they're just like, I'm feeling all sorts of ways about this.
00:50:02
Speaker
Like she shouldn't be able to be successful and be like she is in this world.
00:50:06
Speaker
Right.
00:50:07
Speaker
They have a lot of misconceptions about what women are supposed to be.
00:50:09
Speaker
And I seem to confound them on a very primal level.
00:50:12
Speaker
But again, that has nothing to do with me.
00:50:15
Speaker
That's not my business.
00:50:16
Speaker
That's theirs.
00:50:17
Speaker
And younger me would never have understood that younger.
00:50:19
Speaker
We would have like twisted myself into pretzels to try and like appease what they think I should be in order for them to like me.
00:50:27
Speaker
And now I'm like, honestly, if you can't like me, like that's not you do.
00:50:30
Speaker
Like I'm a very likeable person.
00:50:31
Speaker
And like, you're gonna have to figure that out on your own.
00:50:34
Speaker
I'm not gonna walk you through this and hold your hand.
00:50:36
Speaker
Also, it's the same thing with like dates, right?
00:50:37
Speaker
It's like, I mean, of course, you know, as time goes on, we're going to go into different aspects of the handbook as well and like update things because things have obviously changed a lot in the last five years.
00:50:46
Speaker
And like we want it to be a living, breathing piece of work.
00:50:49
Speaker
But at the same time, it's like people expect that when you go to dates, like, okay, what should I do exactly to make sure that he pays on dates and stuff?
00:50:55
Speaker
It's like, okay, here's the thing.
00:50:56
Speaker
This is very common sense.
00:50:57
Speaker
If he tries to get you to split the date, like this is not the person.
00:51:01
Speaker
There's no way to like convince him.
00:51:03
Speaker
Even if you convince him to pay on the date, that's still the wrong person.
00:51:06
Speaker
You get that, right?
00:51:07
Speaker
Because you have to convince him to do that.
00:51:08
Speaker
And he didn't want to do that organically.
00:51:10
Speaker
Like a high value man is someone who wants to pay for you.
00:51:12
Speaker
He doesn't have to be coerced or convinced to do that for you.
00:51:16
Speaker
Second of all, if he seems choreographed and rehearsed, he is.
00:51:20
Speaker
Remember that charm is a script, okay?
00:51:23
Speaker
If somebody is very charming, they've had a lot of opportunities to swindle people and they probably have.
00:51:28
Speaker
Yeah, I don't remember if this was Lundy Bancroft or I think it was Gavin DeBecker.
00:51:31
Speaker
But Gavin DeBecker's book in The Gift of Fear, he was like, when somebody is charming you, people just go, oh, he's so charming, as opposed to he's charming me, right?
00:51:41
Speaker
Because he wants something from me.
00:51:43
Speaker
And that's the thing, like for me, like when I meet men, it's very different.
00:51:46
Speaker
They have a sense of fear with me, which just makes them horny because fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.
00:51:51
Speaker
And I just like give off the impression that I just really don't want to engage with them because most of the time I don't.
00:51:55
Speaker
That's not even me putting on an act.
00:51:56
Speaker
I'm just like, I'm here playing with my friends.
00:51:58
Speaker
Like I didn't say that I wanted to engage with you.
00:52:01
Speaker
And like, they're just eager for my approval because I give big daddy energy.
00:52:04
Speaker
That's what I tell my friends.
00:52:06
Speaker
I give them their stern father who walked away and went for a glass of meat and never came back.
00:52:11
Speaker
Big Daddy energy.
00:52:17
Speaker
BDE.
00:52:18
Speaker
Diana's got it.
00:52:19
Speaker
Big Daddy energy.
00:52:20
Speaker
But that's the thing.
00:52:21
Speaker
What I've realized on dates with men is in the situations where they felt very confident and comfortable with me, they almost always were very choreographed and they had pulled that shit on other women before.
00:52:31
Speaker
in situations where they felt very nervous and jittery and fearful.
00:52:34
Speaker
I was like, okay, yeah, they're really afraid of fucking up.
00:52:36
Speaker
This is more likely to go well, because he doesn't want to fuck around with you.
00:52:40
Speaker
He doesn't want to lose his chance with you.
00:52:41
Speaker
They shouldn't be like, you should go into that engagement being like, I'm here to be entertained and to enjoy myself.
00:52:47
Speaker
If you go in there being nervous and being like, Oh, do I look okay?
00:52:50
Speaker
Will he like me?
00:52:51
Speaker
You're going in with the completely wrong energy.
00:52:53
Speaker
This is why we keep saying decenter men and like have a more neutral, at least at the very least,
00:52:58
Speaker
Basically, when someone seems too good to be true, they are, right?
00:53:01
Speaker
If somebody comes at a situation nervous, like they're coming in with better energy, because at the end of the day, they should be nervous to lose you.
00:53:08
Speaker
You have to go into a dating situation being like, I'm here to be entertained and enjoy myself.
00:53:12
Speaker
If you go in nervous being like, Oh my god, I don't know if he's gonna like me.
00:53:16
Speaker
Again, you're just centering them.
00:53:18
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:53:18
Speaker
We keep on prioritizing, decentering and maintaining a neutral attitude towards men because that is the winning strategy.
Empowerment and Resilience
00:53:24
Speaker
The less you care about them, the better outcomes you're going to get because your outcome is not tied to having them be impressed by you.
00:53:30
Speaker
Being picked.
00:53:32
Speaker
There's a reason why this pick me comes from.
00:53:34
Speaker
And this is something my therapist would say, too.
00:53:35
Speaker
She's like, well, it's all well and good, Rose, that you're going on a date.
00:53:39
Speaker
But it's not about whether they're going to like you.
00:53:41
Speaker
You realize that, right?
00:53:42
Speaker
I'd be like, no, no, no.
00:53:44
Speaker
What if, what if, what if?
00:53:45
Speaker
She's like, it's not about whether they like you.
00:53:47
Speaker
It's whether you like them.
00:53:50
Speaker
Yep.
00:53:50
Speaker
And that's the thing.
00:53:51
Speaker
That's why you need to start monitoring the way that you consume like stuff on social media and like just odd like content.
00:53:56
Speaker
Because when you have these like contradictory messages being sent to you, it's going to convince you to settle.
00:54:01
Speaker
It's going to give you fear because it's an algorithm that's based on confirming your worst fears.
00:54:07
Speaker
Scarcity.
00:54:07
Speaker
Yeah, scarcity mindset and just like a very limited feeling of like what's available to you in the world.
00:54:13
Speaker
And like there's a lot of love in the world still.
00:54:15
Speaker
I know we're in the shittiest timeline, but like the second you start absorbing this energy of like there's no hope, you're already condemning yourself to a fate worse than death.
00:54:24
Speaker
And what's the point of that?
00:54:25
Speaker
Don't become a Death Star.
00:54:27
Speaker
You want to become a bright living star, like a shining star of light and love.
00:54:30
Speaker
And honestly, the world will come to your aid when that's the energy you cultivate.
00:54:35
Speaker
Again, like Diane and I were talking about this the other week, how much more success we've had in the last year alone and how much of that comes from this perspective of like,
00:54:44
Speaker
I am the center of my world.
00:54:45
Speaker
I am worthy.
00:54:46
Speaker
I am worth it.
00:54:48
Speaker
My life matters.
00:54:49
Speaker
And like the stars align when you have that kind of energy.
00:54:52
Speaker
And that's what we want for you, whether it's romantically, personally, professionally, on all levels, we want you to prize yourself above all others.
00:54:59
Speaker
And there will always be people who are detractors and haters and who don't see the vision and like not going to understand you and not going to understand where you come from because they've accepted that limited mindset for themselves.
00:55:08
Speaker
But you don't have to do that.
00:55:09
Speaker
Nope.
00:55:10
Speaker
You don't have to be that way.
00:55:11
Speaker
Let them perish from your lives.
00:55:13
Speaker
Exactly.
00:55:13
Speaker
And with that, we're at the end of another great episode.
00:55:18
Speaker
How I love our episodes.
00:55:20
Speaker
Yeah, to all the scrotes, you know, let them eat cake.
00:55:23
Speaker
Let them perish.
00:55:23
Speaker
Let them eat dung.
00:55:25
Speaker
Let them eat dung.
00:55:27
Speaker
Let them eat dung.
00:55:28
Speaker
And to all the Trumpers and Nazis and fascists, die, please, quickly, and die mad.
00:55:34
Speaker
Yep.
00:55:34
Speaker
Bye.