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The 25 Tactics of Male Power image

The 25 Tactics of Male Power

E107 · The Female Dating Strategy
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Transcript

Introduction of the Series

00:00:06
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:11
Speaker
I'm Ro.
00:00:12
Speaker
And I'm Savannah.
00:00:13
Speaker
So today, we're going to start a new series.
00:00:16
Speaker
Yay!
00:00:17
Speaker
We love a good series.
00:00:19
Speaker
Yes.

Male Tactics and Benefits

00:00:20
Speaker
And this series is about tactics of male power, which we're naming the 25 tactics of male power.
00:00:27
Speaker
And it's basically a discussion of all the types of patriarchal tricks that men try to implement to manipulate women into doing things that are against our best interest and are more prioritizing male interest.
00:00:42
Speaker
So we're going to talk about these because I feel like a lot of them are very subtle.
00:00:47
Speaker
A lot of them are often phrased or presented in a way that makes women believe that it'll be beneficial to us.
00:00:54
Speaker
But when you start to look at the long-term effects, when you start to look at it from a more strategic angle, when you start to look at who benefits the most and who benefits the least, you start to realize that a lot of the things that men are doing that are purportedly for us, even if they're not saying it's for us, but a lot of things that men are doing is both
00:01:12
Speaker
direct manipulation and indirect manipulation to get women to do things that are against their interest and for men's interest.
00:01:19
Speaker
So we're going to talk about these tactics because once you understand the tactics, you can recognize them and their repetition over and over again.

Physical Intimidation and Self-defense

00:01:27
Speaker
Meaning regardless of
00:01:28
Speaker
Where you live in the world, regardless of your family origin, regardless of your political leanings, these types of tactics that men use to maintain their power are infinitely repeatable.
00:01:40
Speaker
They just have different subtleties in their iterations.
00:01:43
Speaker
But once you recognize what they're doing, whatever system you're in, wherever you are, you'll be able to recognize it and then use strategies to counteract it.
00:01:51
Speaker
Yes.
00:01:52
Speaker
And I think that's a really important point to acknowledge is that men are very adept at framing things as if they're in women's best interests when actually that particular thing or ideology or action, it only benefits the man.
00:02:08
Speaker
And I think I came to this realisation properly within the last three years.
00:02:13
Speaker
And once you see it, you can't unsee it.
00:02:16
Speaker
It's really, really subtle manipulation.
00:02:18
Speaker
And it's also important that if you are aware of the tactics, that means that you can safeguard yourself against them.
00:02:26
Speaker
And we'll also be discussing, you know, ways you can, you know, strategies and tips on how you can handle the situation if you are confronted with this particular manipulation tactic as well.
00:02:37
Speaker
Good old FDS strategy.
00:02:39
Speaker
Good old FDS strategy episode.
00:02:40
Speaker
So the first one is probably the oldest one in the book is physical intimidation.
00:02:46
Speaker
So quite literally, they're bigger than us.
00:02:48
Speaker
And that's how they maintain power.
00:02:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:51
Speaker
And here's the thing, like it doesn't even have to be about size.
00:02:55
Speaker
Like I've dated men who are smaller than me physically, but men are also very, very aware of the fact that even if they are physically smaller than a woman, they are still, you know, likely to be disproportionately a lot stronger than her as well.
00:03:11
Speaker
And I was in a relationship where the guy, he actually, he like basically leveraged that against me several times in arguments.
00:03:20
Speaker
And it was still really scary.
00:03:21
Speaker
So, you know, when we talk about physical size, it isn't just like, we're not talking about, you know, guys who are necessarily bigger than you or guys who look, you know, really buff and in the gym.
00:03:30
Speaker
It's also, you know, noting that men have very, very distinct physical advantages over women as well, even if they don't seem like

Global Physical Dominance

00:03:41
Speaker
they do.
00:03:41
Speaker
And men know this as well.
00:03:43
Speaker
Let's be clear.
00:03:44
Speaker
If men weren't bigger and stronger than us, the world would look a lot different right now.
00:03:48
Speaker
I mean, if you didn't like what a guy had to say, you would just punch him in his jaw and then move it about your day.
00:03:52
Speaker
I know I would.
00:03:53
Speaker
Jack his jaw.
00:03:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:55
Speaker
I know I would.
00:03:56
Speaker
God.
00:03:57
Speaker
I feel like God saw fit to make me a smaller, weaker woman.
00:04:01
Speaker
Tatey.
00:04:03
Speaker
I'm not like a physically imposing person.
00:04:06
Speaker
I'm not very muscular compared to obviously I think your average man because Lord knows if I was.
00:04:13
Speaker
You know what I want?
00:04:14
Speaker
Have you ever seen the movie Freaky Friday?
00:04:16
Speaker
I want to switch bodies with Shaquille O'Neal for like two to three weeks.
00:04:21
Speaker
I swear to God, I would fly on a plane around the country and just hand out ass whoopings that so many men deserve.
00:04:27
Speaker
Just be Jack and Joseph.
00:04:29
Speaker
I swear to God.
00:04:31
Speaker
And the only reason they're not getting it right now is because I do not have the physical strength because God did not grant me that because he knew I would abuse it.
00:04:40
Speaker
Against the male species.
00:04:41
Speaker
But okay, if I had one more wish in my lifetime, I want to be Shaq-sized.
00:04:46
Speaker
I want to be Shaq-sized for a couple of weeks.
00:04:48
Speaker
There are a few people that need severe ass whoopings.
00:04:51
Speaker
And I'm like, Jesus, if you just give me one thing.
00:04:53
Speaker
God, if you're out there, if you want to just give me one thing, that'll just be fun.
00:04:57
Speaker
I want to find like a secret amulet and wish on it and switch bodies with Shaq for a couple of weeks.
00:05:01
Speaker
Because there's a lot of people that need their jaw rearranged that I don't have the strength to do.
00:05:05
Speaker
So...
00:05:09
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:05:09
Speaker
Like the physical intimidation tactic can't be ignored because that is honestly the basis for a lot of our oppression besides like our ability to have children, right?
00:05:20
Speaker
Is that it is harder for us to physically defend ourselves against men because they're bigger and stronger than us.
00:05:26
Speaker
And because of that, you know, they have a lot of literal physical power.
00:05:29
Speaker
They can push us around a little bit.
00:05:31
Speaker
So a lot of, you know, not entirely, but they can do it in such a way that, you know, I hate to bring this up because it's such a sore spot, such a sad thing that's going on, but everything that's going on in Afghanistan right now, where they're quite literally pushing girls out of school, they're barricading women down in the street, you know, they're just treating women really, really poorly.
00:05:51
Speaker
And a lot of it is just because they can, they're just physically bigger.
00:05:54
Speaker
And if they don't have any type of compassion or anything for their fellow human being, then it's a really tough situation for women because they'll do really horrible things to us.
00:06:02
Speaker
And we just do not have the physical power, you know?
00:06:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:07
Speaker
All you need to also, you know, look at is, you know, when law and order breaks down in, you know, for example, in instances of war, for example, like in Ukraine, the stories of the abuse that men inflict upon, you know, women on either side of the conflict is just always horrific, always horrific.
00:06:27
Speaker
And, you know, guys, and we'll come on to this in a bit when, you know, men like to say that they're disproportionately affected by certain issues, but some of, but probably the biggest victims of any war is actually women, because a lot of the human rights abuses that happen on either side of the conflict is inflicted upon women.

Freedom vs. Safety Fallacy

00:06:46
Speaker
Yeah, it's always weird to me for men to brag about how much more they die in war.
00:06:50
Speaker
And I'm like, it's not like it's ever exclusively just men.
00:06:52
Speaker
A lot of it is also civilians.
00:06:54
Speaker
And a lot of that is women and children.
00:06:56
Speaker
I mean, when you look at especially like genocides, a lot of time they target women and children because they don't want that type of whatever the ethnic group that they're trying to eliminate.
00:07:05
Speaker
They don't want them reproducing.
00:07:07
Speaker
Right.
00:07:07
Speaker
So if they're trying to do like ethnic cleansing, they're
00:07:10
Speaker
a lot of times deliberately targeting women and children.
00:07:13
Speaker
So that's just false to say that only men are like disproportionately affected by war because it's not actually true.
00:07:18
Speaker
And so a strategy for this is that I think that... Get a gun!
00:07:22
Speaker
No, I'm kidding.
00:07:23
Speaker
I'm actually serious.
00:07:24
Speaker
Not totally.
00:07:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:26
Speaker
I'm actually serious.
00:07:27
Speaker
I'm in the UK and I'm strongly considering getting like a gun license straight up.
00:07:33
Speaker
Like if you can get one, I'm all for women doing concealed carry or open carry or whatever it is that you need to do to feel safe.
00:07:41
Speaker
Because I don't think many guys are going to be messing with you if you have access to a Glock.
00:07:45
Speaker
So that's what I'm doing.
00:07:47
Speaker
That's definitely what Elle and Lilith would say.
00:07:49
Speaker
I'm on the fence and I've talked about this only because I guess I would have to get trained more.
00:07:53
Speaker
And I have at some point had a firearm and did take training to get one, which is not even necessary in a lot of states anyways, but a training on how to use it.
00:08:01
Speaker
I'm always like a little bit scared about being overpowered and having it used against me.
00:08:05
Speaker
But I mean...
00:08:06
Speaker
It is interesting to see.
00:08:08
Speaker
I mean, technically, gun violence should be the great equalizer between men's physical power and women's lesser physical power because you don't need to be that powerful to fire a gun.
00:08:16
Speaker
And quite frankly, there's a lot of evidence that women are actually better sharpshooters than men.
00:08:20
Speaker
I can believe that.
00:08:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:22
Speaker
So...
00:08:23
Speaker
Using a gun as like an equalizer between men's power and women's power is very much a tactic, but you just see like women don't do it as often.
00:08:30
Speaker
And the big question mark is to why, and it could just be we're scared of it being used against us, or maybe we're not as like ruthless and wanting to kill people as men are over like very minor things.
00:08:41
Speaker
And men do pop each other over the stupidest thing.
00:08:43
Speaker
So I think it's just men are a little bit more prone to violence.
00:08:46
Speaker
And so they want to get a gun both because it looks sexy and cool, but also because they feel like it'll give them power over other men.
00:08:52
Speaker
But women, for whatever reason,
00:08:53
Speaker
Although I do think it's changing.
00:08:54
Speaker
But for a lot of women, that hasn't been like a cultural thing that we've been pushed into, except for conservatives.
00:08:59
Speaker
Conservatives are all about gun culture.
00:09:01
Speaker
But if you're not from a conservative place, like, I mean, very infamously, wasn't it like Sarah Palin?
00:09:06
Speaker
Like there was all these pictures of her with like her gun and everything.
00:09:08
Speaker
Some places in the US, United States have very, very established gun cultures for women, but a lot of places don't.
00:09:14
Speaker
So I don't know.
00:09:16
Speaker
And like besides physical tools, like guns, pepper spray, tasers and stuff like that, there's a lot of women's self-defense courses or assertive defense courses.
00:09:25
Speaker
Here's the thing.
00:09:25
Speaker
You don't have to be stronger than a man, but you have to have enough personal power and enough spatial awareness and enough situation awareness to keep yourself safe if a man tries to physically intimidate you.
00:09:37
Speaker
And not just men who are strangers, but also men who are intimate partners, because most women are, if they're going to be homicided, they're going to be victims of homicide.
00:09:45
Speaker
if they're going to be attacked, it's more than likely going to be a person that they know.
00:09:50
Speaker
So this is where like taking up space, like having a certain level of physical, standing your ground physically around men who try to intimidate you, both to like kind of repel predators away.
00:10:02
Speaker
And but also like to give you the kind of confidence it takes to defend yourself.
00:10:05
Speaker
Because if you've ever seen animals out in the wild,
00:10:09
Speaker
especially like animals that are prone to violence, even like lions and lionesses, most of them, you know, they don't necessarily take male aggression lying down, right?
00:10:18
Speaker
Especially if they're a mother animal, right?
00:10:20
Speaker
Especially if they're a mother with their cubs, any type of female animal, even like against her own physical interest sometimes, especially if she's got offspring, right?
00:10:29
Speaker
will do some kind of defensive action to defend themselves against bigger, larger predators, right?
00:10:34
Speaker
It's not like it's always effective, but it just has to be effective enough to scare them off to go for an easier target, right?
00:10:40
Speaker
So sometimes if you have a presence about you, then a...
00:10:44
Speaker
Man who's predatory or manipulative, they'll go for easier targets, right?
00:10:48
Speaker
So any guy who's physically intimidating, not just because of strangers, but guys that you want to date, they kind of need to know that you will defend yourself both physically, but also...
00:11:00
Speaker
with the fullest extent of the law on your side.

Cultural and Spatial Restrictions

00:11:03
Speaker
And that tends to kind of push away some of the men who are looking to dominate you outright, right?
00:11:09
Speaker
It may not catch all the more manipulative guys, but like, you know, you want to get rid of some of those guys who are maybe very straightforward type of aggressive guys by standing your ground.
00:11:19
Speaker
And this is just like a very primal animalistic thing.
00:11:22
Speaker
I've straight up, like when I went to meet a guy for the first time one time, I just straight up said, and I made sure that I met in a location I was familiar with.
00:11:29
Speaker
I drove myself and there was lots of woodland around because I literally said, if you try anything, I will ensure that you are buried in a way that even the crows won't find you.
00:11:39
Speaker
And then he was like, oh, I'm really scared.
00:11:42
Speaker
I was like, good, you should be because I'm more at risk here.
00:11:45
Speaker
Good.
00:11:46
Speaker
Because I watch a lot of true crime as well.
00:11:48
Speaker
Like there's a thousand and one ways to kill.
00:11:50
Speaker
I literally straight up just said it like I will literally bury you in a way that even the birds won't find you.
00:11:56
Speaker
And yeah, he was scared as he should be.
00:11:58
Speaker
So in summary, if a man ever tries to use his physical power to intimidate you, stand your ground.
00:12:03
Speaker
That's the counter strategy to that.
00:12:05
Speaker
Tactic number two, physical restriction.
00:12:08
Speaker
This is another tactic that men use to try to maintain their power at our expense.
00:12:13
Speaker
Physical restriction means restricting women from physically accessing certain aspects of society.
00:12:19
Speaker
Meaning in some countries, for example, and this is some of this is religious based, like some women are not allowed in certain parts of the temple, right?
00:12:28
Speaker
Women are considered unclean.
00:12:30
Speaker
Other countries, you're not allowed certain areas without a male chaperone.
00:12:34
Speaker
Men will often say that women are physically restricted from certain aspects of society because of their own safety or because we're like not holy enough or some whatever BS reason they come up with why women aren't allowed a certain way.
00:12:49
Speaker
But it's 100% to maintain their power at our expense.
00:12:53
Speaker
It's usually the reason why they don't want women outside of a certain parameter is because we're harder to control.
00:12:59
Speaker
they'll convince you it's because of your safety, right?
00:13:03
Speaker
And unless you're like in an active war zone, that shouldn't be the case, right?
00:13:08
Speaker
And the reason why it's important for women to not take at face value whenever men try to make the argument that women being restricted to certain spaces is for our own safety is because there's no limit to how small they'll make the space for you to exist as a woman.
00:13:24
Speaker
right?
00:13:25
Speaker
And for a long time, it was like, you shouldn't exist outside the home.
00:13:28
Speaker
In fact, I grew up, again, very evangelical Christian.
00:13:31
Speaker
And there was, when I was growing up, there was controversy about women having jobs outside the home and whether their first primary job was always to maintain a house.
00:13:40
Speaker
And there's a lot of controversy about women preachers speaking at Christian conferences and saying that like, oh, it's improper because of the Bible for women preachers to be on a pulpit next to male preachers or speaking alongside them.
00:13:53
Speaker
And it's
00:13:53
Speaker
All about keeping women in a certain box in a small portion of society that can be controlled and monitored by men.
00:14:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:02
Speaker
And this whole idea, just to pivot slightly, this whole idea that if a woman restricts herself in certain ways, it will, you know, keep herself.
00:14:11
Speaker
I remember when I was in the work with police forces and trying to tell them that crime prevention advice is all the advice that they're giving is really horseshit.
00:14:19
Speaker
Because if they were being honest, you know, notice how the actual advice that would keep women safe, i.e.
00:14:26
Speaker
don't live with a man, don't speak to men, don't be around men, they never give that advice.
00:14:31
Speaker
So if they were truly looking out for women's safety, that would be at the top of crime prevention advice given by the police.
00:14:37
Speaker
They'd be saying, don't get into a relationship with men.
00:14:39
Speaker
Don't go home with a man.
00:14:40
Speaker
Don't be friends with men.
00:14:41
Speaker
Don't make eye contact with a man.
00:14:43
Speaker
Don't breathe in his general direction.
00:14:45
Speaker
Don't make eye contact with a man.
00:14:47
Speaker
But they'll never say that.
00:14:48
Speaker
So all this restriction, all of this, oh, don't go walking alone at night, you know, watch your drink and stuff like that.
00:14:54
Speaker
It's all a red herring and it's distracting from the actual problem, you know, which is men.
00:15:00
Speaker
Even if we made, you know, in countries such as Saudi Arabia, where the world of women is very small, they've been restricted, they still get violated by men because they, again, it goes back to control.
00:15:11
Speaker
But it also, this entire idea of, you know, you know, we're restricting you, you know, for your safety.
00:15:17
Speaker
It's a complete red herring because it's not the environment that's the danger.
00:15:21
Speaker
It's not the school or the job that's the danger.
00:15:23
Speaker
It's men.
00:15:24
Speaker
Exactly.
00:15:25
Speaker
And so what they'll often say is that, okay, well, you weren't supposed to be in this area or doing this thing.
00:15:30
Speaker
So whatever happens to you is your fault.
00:15:33
Speaker
And they especially do this to rape victims.
00:15:35
Speaker
Like, why were you out here at night?
00:15:37
Speaker
Or why were you wearing this or anything like that, that they can do to justify why a woman deserved to be sexually abused or what have you.
00:15:45
Speaker
They often do that because once again, it helps them maintain their power if they're never held responsible for any of the bad things that happen to women.
00:15:54
Speaker
Right.
00:15:54
Speaker
So, you know, there's been a couple of high profile cases in Saudi Arabia because in Saudi Arabia, women are not
00:16:01
Speaker
I think up until a couple of years ago, women were not allowed to go out in public without a male escort.
00:16:06
Speaker
And there's been a couple of situations where a woman just attempted to go to the grocery store or something like that and was accosted on her way there by another man.
00:16:14
Speaker
And they basically responded by blaming that woman for the crime because it's illegal for a woman to be outside without a male escort.
00:16:22
Speaker
So literally, you cannot go outside without a man.
00:16:25
Speaker
Otherwise, what happens to you is considered your fault.
00:16:27
Speaker
Now, this is not an active war zone, right?
00:16:29
Speaker
This is like presumably in peacetime.
00:16:32
Speaker
But they've made it so that any man who sees a woman under company feels bold and confident enough to attack her because he knows he's not going to be held accountable, right?
00:16:41
Speaker
Because it's her fault for being outside without an escort.
00:16:44
Speaker
And this is why we never, ever, ever accept the like the narrative from men that, oh, well, you need to do more to protect yourself.
00:16:52
Speaker
Because quite frankly, there's no amount of restricted female movement that can exist that men won't justify to blame women for them being a victim

Isolation and Control Tactics

00:17:00
Speaker
of a crime.
00:17:00
Speaker
So yes, we are always going to fight for the extreme.
00:17:03
Speaker
Like you should be able to walk around naked in the worst neighborhood that you've ever seen in your life at night and not be raped.
00:17:09
Speaker
Anybody that attempts to do that to you be held accountable and put in prison because any person, quite frankly, should have the freedom as long as they're not trespassing on like private property or bothering people to exist in society unaccosted at any point.
00:17:24
Speaker
Right.
00:17:25
Speaker
And that's why we have laws.
00:17:26
Speaker
That's why we have police.
00:17:28
Speaker
That's why we have...
00:17:29
Speaker
the justice system to ensure that people can move about in society unrestricted.
00:17:35
Speaker
Men try to outsource their responsibility to create a safe environment and also their responsibility to prosecute men who do horrible things to women specifically by saying that women should not be allowed to do things if we're victims of crimes and those things.
00:17:51
Speaker
And no,
00:17:52
Speaker
First of all, we're 51% of the population.
00:17:54
Speaker
It is not fair to restrict women's physical ability to freely move throughout society because of a few psychopaths.
00:18:01
Speaker
No, it's better to put those guys in jail.
00:18:03
Speaker
It's better to have a robust legal system so that a peaceful law-abiding citizen who is female can fully exercise her rights as a citizen to exist.
00:18:14
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:18:16
Speaker
And, you know, when things go wrong for men, there's, you know, never talk of how they should restrict their movements and freedoms.
00:18:24
Speaker
You know, men harp on about, you know, potentially being divorce raped and all that jazz.
00:18:29
Speaker
But when a guy actually gets
00:18:31
Speaker
you know, divorce raped.
00:18:32
Speaker
Other men never turn around and say, you know, well, you shouldn't have got married then.
00:18:36
Speaker
Even though it's like, if you hate marriage that much, or you're that worried about being, in quotation marks, divorce raped, don't get married.
00:18:43
Speaker
It's not difficult.
00:18:45
Speaker
Exactly.
00:18:45
Speaker
So that brings us to tactic number three that men use to maintain their power.
00:18:50
Speaker
Physical displacement or isolation.
00:18:52
Speaker
So what I mean by physical displacement or isolation is quite literally trying to make a situation where they can take a woman from
00:18:59
Speaker
a environment that they're familiar with, with people who support her to an unfamiliar environment with people who may or may not support her.
00:19:07
Speaker
So one of the most effective ways of male power is to take away a woman's support system.
00:19:14
Speaker
You know, one of the huge ways that men do this is divide and conquer amongst women.
00:19:20
Speaker
So if you listen to our episode on shaving, for example, actually, you know, listen to it.
00:19:27
Speaker
You know, part of the ways in which, you know, patriarchy is allowed to flourish is through isolation of, you know, women from each other and estrangement from other women as well.
00:19:37
Speaker
And they do this by putting in, you know, faux arguments such as, you know, not shaving going to save the patriarchy is, you know, and all of this is inconsequential, because like we said in the episode, it distracts from the actual, you know, bigger social issues of patriarchy.
00:19:54
Speaker
And the other thing they try to do is convince you that being isolated is for your own benefit.
00:19:58
Speaker
And this is where pick me's get tripped up a lot because a lot of times they'll try to pit women against each other, but they'll try to make it seem like, oh, you're not like the other girls, right?
00:20:07
Speaker
And you will be not like the other girls until you actually have a problem with one of the men in which they'll promptly discard you.
00:20:13
Speaker
That's why I kind of laugh at all that like the rise of all these like Manosphere pick me Barbies is that I'm like, you're going to hit a certain age and then suddenly all these incels who are hyping you up and all the criticisms you have of feminism are not going to matter.
00:20:25
Speaker
Or you're going to end up like one of the many, many women who have tried to circle through like the blaze or one of these major conservative ecosystems, which are very, very like openly misogynist with men.
00:20:37
Speaker
And they think, oh, because I'm more critical of feminism or I'm like,
00:20:41
Speaker
a more fair and balanced, quote, quote, woman than the rest of them.
00:20:44
Speaker
And they become like the token woman in that environment.
00:20:47
Speaker
And then lo and behold, they get sexually harassed, they get abused, they get underpaid, all the things that women have been talking about forever.
00:20:52
Speaker
And they're shocked.
00:20:54
Speaker
You shouldn't be shocked.
00:20:55
Speaker
They are essentially picking you out of the crowd because you're willing to go along with their narrative.
00:21:00
Speaker
And then what you've now done is isolate yourself from your female support system.
00:21:04
Speaker
Right.
00:21:04
Speaker
And so it's a win win from them because now they have a female mouthpiece for whatever power they're trying to usurp for themselves.
00:21:12
Speaker
And they've isolated you from a support system that could possibly help you in case they overstep their power, try to abuse you in some way.
00:21:19
Speaker
So.
00:21:20
Speaker
The male tactic of physical displacement or isolation is because they know that there's one strength in numbers.
00:21:27
Speaker
And then two, they know that if they can pick a few women off from the pack to use in an example, then they can use that to browbeat other women in submission.
00:21:36
Speaker
But also they can control that woman through threats, physical intimidation, all the other types of power.
00:21:42
Speaker
They can silence her too, so that she cannot put out a message other than the one that they want her to give.
00:21:48
Speaker
You know, men also know that for many women still, and this is something that FDS is trying to change, hopefully through the culture.
00:21:55
Speaker
And it's because a lot of the stuff they're doing is actively abusive.
00:21:57
Speaker
Like it's the same tactics that an abuser would enact in a woman on an individual level, isolate her from her family and friends so that the only narrative that she hears is the one he wants to tell her.
00:22:07
Speaker
And then he gaslights her.
00:22:09
Speaker
So on a granular level,
00:22:11
Speaker
interpersonal relationships you have with men, abusive men will often try to isolate you from your friends and family, convince you that they don't have your best interest in heart, that he's the only person for you.
00:22:20
Speaker
And he's the only person that knows best, etc.
00:22:22
Speaker
And it's just a control tactic.
00:22:24
Speaker
And it's a way to get you physically, mentally, emotionally dependent on him so he can manipulate you for his own good.
00:22:30
Speaker
And that happens on an interpersonal level, as well as like a cultural level, as well as like a societal level.
00:22:36
Speaker
I know there's been a lot of criticism even in leftist circles of women like Sheryl Sandberg, who wrote the book Lean In.
00:22:43
Speaker
She basically kind of said to all the female workers, the reason why you're not getting to the C-suite is because you're not leaning in enough and you're not working hard enough.
00:22:51
Speaker
Now, it's not as like openly misogynist as, you know, the blaze or one of these like actively conservative values.
00:22:59
Speaker
entities or companies, but it's essentially the same.
00:23:02
Speaker
It's among all other women as the example of how to live your life.
00:23:06
Speaker
And then use that to kind of like browbeat or shame other women who are making different choices because of the fact that we're female.
00:23:12
Speaker
We have like different types of stressors than men do.
00:23:15
Speaker
And then saying, you girls aren't trying hard enough and you're not doing enough.
00:23:19
Speaker
Now, it's not entirely truthful because we know a lot of things that came out about Facebook and some of the unethical things that Sheryl Sandberg helped to...
00:23:28
Speaker
cover up on Meta.
00:23:29
Speaker
So basically, you realize she was probably very smart, but she also covered a lot of Mark Zuckerberg's BS, right?
00:23:36
Speaker
Covered up a lot of their unethical business practices and was willing to sell herself out to get to the C-suites.
00:23:42
Speaker
She wasn't entirely honest.
00:23:44
Speaker
Right.
00:23:44
Speaker
But again, it doesn't matter.
00:23:45
Speaker
All you need is one pick me who purports to be a feminist and like understand feminism to gaslight all the other women to keep them from fighting

Impact on All Women

00:23:53
Speaker
for labor rights and keep them from experiencing any type of social solidarity with other women to fight for themselves.
00:23:59
Speaker
And, you know, holding her up is like the pinnacle of achievement while essentially she's doing a lot of things to shore up the weaknesses and protect the image of the man.
00:24:09
Speaker
So it's just pick me ism, but it's just like corporate pick me ism.
00:24:12
Speaker
which is also a type of pick me as a man maybe a little bit more insidious because it's often like couched in like language of diversity and language of feminism, but it's really the same thing.
00:24:21
Speaker
And female empowerment.
00:24:23
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:24:25
Speaker
So you have to really pay attention.
00:24:27
Speaker
This is what I'm saying.
00:24:28
Speaker
You have to really pay attention to the actual strategy they're trying to employ and how it's going to affect you.
00:24:34
Speaker
And not so much like the nice words, because like there's a lot of people that go to school for a long time and
00:24:41
Speaker
to figure out the language to manipulate you into doing things that are not good for you and ignoring the elephants in the room.
00:24:47
Speaker
So always be aware when they're trying to kind of pedestalize one woman because she's often isolated and she's often isolated on purpose to make sure that either that they can control her and push her into a certain narrative or so that like they can use her to browbeat the women who are not in that position into complying with a certain narrative.
00:25:09
Speaker
Yeah, and I've always said as well, like the backbone of the pick me mindset is believing that you will be the exception to the rules of patriarchy.
00:25:19
Speaker
And again, patriarchy doesn't spare any woman, generally speaking, regardless of where, if she's conservative or liberal, if she's, you know, Western or non-Western, it all affects us in quite a significant way.
00:25:32
Speaker
So thinking that as a woman that you can just almost obedience your way,
00:25:37
Speaker
into not being impacted by patriarchy, there's going to be a rude awakening because unfortunately, patriarchy is patriarchy.
00:25:45
Speaker
You're still a woman.
00:25:46
Speaker
They will always see you as the woman.
00:25:48
Speaker
They'll always see you as somebody who is beneath them.
00:25:50
Speaker
These men are not, you know, they don't admire you because they see you as an equal or they see you on their level.
00:25:56
Speaker
They admire you because you are willing to shrink yourself in order to please them, basically.
00:26:02
Speaker
Exactly.
00:26:03
Speaker
Number four, tactic of male power, physical infiltration of female spaces.
00:26:08
Speaker
Let's talk about it.
00:26:09
Speaker
So let's talk about that.
00:26:11
Speaker
So when I say physical infiltration of female spaces is making it impossible, either socially or physically for women to have groups that are just for women so that we can talk about things.
00:26:24
Speaker
amongst ourselves and collect strategies.
00:26:26
Speaker
This has been the biggest issue with having FDS on Reddit, for example.
00:26:31
Speaker
So we've talked about this, right?
00:26:35
Speaker
Men were raging about that.
00:26:38
Speaker
They were enraged about this one subreddit that was supposed to be for women only.
00:26:45
Speaker
And why?
00:26:46
Speaker
Because when women start talking honestly with each other outside of the narrative created for us by men, then we come up with very different conclusions and understandings than men do.
00:26:57
Speaker
And they do not like when women are able to control and put forth their own narrative.
00:27:03
Speaker
So you often find them trying to infiltrate female spaces to disrupt the stated mission and goal.

Disruption of Female Spaces

00:27:11
Speaker
Yes.
00:27:12
Speaker
And again, they will present it as if their opinion is in the best interest of the women.
00:27:18
Speaker
So when I was a mod on the subreddit, we'd often see in the mod mail, we'd see, you know, men who were banned saying, oh, you know, don't you want the male opinion?
00:27:27
Speaker
I'm like, well, no, I don't.
00:27:29
Speaker
But they'll try and frame it as if like, oh, well, if I'm giving my opinion, it's just adding more to the conversation.
00:27:35
Speaker
It's more balanced.
00:27:36
Speaker
I'm like, it's not in my best interest to give a platform to men on a tiny subreddit when the entire site is dominated by men.
00:27:45
Speaker
There are literally hundreds of other subreddits that these men can go to where they can spout their rhetoric unprompted and, you know, as freely as they want.
00:27:54
Speaker
but they would always try and come into FDS.
00:27:56
Speaker
And I think that was one of the reasons why the subreddit was so targeted was the fact that we did not tolerate men under any circumstances.
00:28:04
Speaker
Part of the reason why some of the other so-called female-only spaces on Reddit, which are, I think they're slowly waking up, to be honest,
00:28:11
Speaker
is because they tolerated men.
00:28:12
Speaker
But even they quickly realised that that was a big mistake because even 2X chromosomes, there's so many rants about how they hate the fact that anytime they talk about an issue that disproportionately affects women such as rape, they always have to preface it with not all men.
00:28:29
Speaker
And that's purely just to not piss off the men that lurk on that subreddit, even though they don't have 2X chromosomes.
00:28:35
Speaker
Right.
00:28:35
Speaker
And you see this over and over again.
00:28:37
Speaker
I mean, I think red pill women is another example of a space that's even purportedly for women.
00:28:43
Speaker
It's run by men.
00:28:43
Speaker
It's run by men.
00:28:46
Speaker
And even if it's women who were women running it, there's so many men in the comments trying to shift the narrative a certain way.
00:28:51
Speaker
And it's not for your benefit.
00:28:54
Speaker
So one of the things men always try to do is to infiltrate these spaces to make sure that we can never have the space to vent and have the space to...
00:29:03
Speaker
have a relaxing atmosphere without them.
00:29:06
Speaker
So there's a lot of controversy around this particular issue right now as it pertains to certain aspects of trans ideology.
00:29:13
Speaker
So, I mean, I think in general with conservatives, I feel like they don't try to hide it.
00:29:18
Speaker
They basically create a framework in which
00:29:20
Speaker
women are allowed to exist, then create a space and say, this is for women.
00:29:24
Speaker
But it's like for women within the framework of how men feel, right?
00:29:27
Speaker
And what I think is happening increasingly on the left, and I think a lot of... I'll throw a bone to the terps here about some of their discussion about, okay, what does exactly does it mean where anybody male who claims to be female can now represent what it is to be a woman in the world, regardless of the fact that they don't share our biology, right?
00:29:44
Speaker
That has implications.
00:29:45
Speaker
And it's not to be... People are going to call it discriminatory or exclusionary to...
00:29:50
Speaker
trans women in particular, but it seems to me and it seems to a lot of people that there are a lot of times where that biology very much does matter and inform your experience in the world.
00:29:59
Speaker
And that whatever type of physical way you transform yourself to make yourself to be the appearance of a woman, despite being born biologically male or born, what's the correct terminology assigned male at birth or however they're calling it,
00:30:11
Speaker
that it does not give you the informed discussion about what it is to exist as a woman in the world.
00:30:16
Speaker
And therefore, if you're making judgment calls, if you're purporting to speak on behalf of women, you're not doing it with a full deck.
00:30:22
Speaker
You're not doing it with the actual information and risks that are very specific to female people.
00:30:28
Speaker
And again, it only goes, you know, one way, going back to the trans ideology argument, if trans women are women, does that give me the right to speak on behalf of trans women?
00:30:38
Speaker
If we're supposedly, can I speak about the trans experience as somebody who was born female and I've, you know, I've navigated my entire life as being female, does that give me the right to speak on behalf of them?
00:30:49
Speaker
It wouldn't.
00:30:49
Speaker
On pain of getting too political, but...
00:30:52
Speaker
Trans men, I don't see as much of a desire to have them in men's spaces speaking on behalf of men.
00:30:59
Speaker
I don't see that many prominent people in the trans movement being, you know, women who've transitioned to live as men.
00:31:06
Speaker
So even right now, there's been a couple of positions that trans women have been put in.
00:31:11
Speaker
Like, I think we have a health secretary that's trans.
00:31:14
Speaker
And now this is being purported to be like, oh, the highest ranking female military official that's ever existed.
00:31:19
Speaker
But this person is not actually female.
00:31:21
Speaker
And so it doesn't actually fix the structural problems that prevent women from reaching that type.
00:31:26
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:31:26
Speaker
That prevent women from reaching that position.
00:31:28
Speaker
Because this person was assigned male at birth and they don't have the same types of struggles that have kept women out of high ranking military positions or government positions for as long as it's been in existence.
00:31:41
Speaker
So trying to now say that
00:31:43
Speaker
a trans woman here is now representative of women and the struggles we face is basically a way to never address the structural issues that exist for biologically female people that prevent us from full participation in society.
00:31:55
Speaker
And I feel like this is a very valid thing that
00:31:58
Speaker
A lot of people who are being called TERFs have pointed out.
00:32:02
Speaker
And it's like a weird thing where everyone just wants to ignore that now.
00:32:05
Speaker
And I'm like, a lot of trans audiologists become very unpopular, even with people on the left, because there seems to be no place to actually discuss the nuances of this.
00:32:14
Speaker
And a lot of women feel physically displaced, right?
00:32:17
Speaker
It's not that I think we shouldn't make room for trans women.
00:32:20
Speaker
It's just that you clearly do not have the same struggles as we have, as we do not have the same struggles as trans women.
00:32:25
Speaker
It's a completely different thing.
00:32:27
Speaker
So I think where it gets a little bit weird is the idea that your biology has nothing to do with whether or not you're a woman.
00:32:33
Speaker
And I think it only benefits people who are hell bent on controlling a narrative a certain way about what it means to be a woman.
00:32:41
Speaker
And it feels for a lot of women that the trans community has now like weaponized certain aspects of it.
00:32:46
Speaker
And that's why you're seeing a lot of backlash in the UK, especially a lot of backlash, even in leftist circles and people who are normally very understanding and
00:32:54
Speaker
as well as a lot of backlash, obviously, among conservatives who... But I think for different reasons with conservatives about why they think X, Y, Z thing.
00:33:02
Speaker
But it is frustrating.
00:33:03
Speaker
And then I think there's a lot of discussion about, okay, well, do we put violent sexual criminals, male criminals who claim to be trans in female prisons, right?
00:33:11
Speaker
There's already been a couple cases of this where these guys are sexual predators, they claim to be trans, and then they go into female prisons and they sexually abuse the people there.
00:33:19
Speaker
And they have their whole dick and balls, right?
00:33:21
Speaker
Right.
00:33:22
Speaker
It's not like a whole, it's not like they're post-op.
00:33:24
Speaker
It's not like they've been on hormones for years and maybe don't have the same strength of a man who's on testosterone or something like that.
00:33:32
Speaker
They have all of that, but it's just sort of we're supposed to take at face value that they're women.
00:33:37
Speaker
And now they basically can go there and physically through all the other tactics of power, physical intimidation, physical isolation, like push themselves into female spaces and push women out of it.
00:33:47
Speaker
And it gets really, really weird in the sports aspect, right?
00:33:49
Speaker
Where you're seeing middle-aged trans women win skateboarding contests against 14-year-old girls, right?
00:33:57
Speaker
Seems pretty unfair, right?
00:33:59
Speaker
Seems pretty unfair to dash the dreams of a highly skilled female athlete because a middle-aged trans woman who lived their entire life as a male and maybe like transition late in life has all the benefits of male privilege and wants to do a male privilege victory lap.
00:34:16
Speaker
Right.
00:34:18
Speaker
Unlike on teenage girls.
00:34:21
Speaker
Right.
00:34:21
Speaker
So like, there's a lot of discussion right now.
00:34:23
Speaker
And a lot of people are getting like sort of seething quietly and trying to see like when this is going to be kind of over.
00:34:30
Speaker
Right.
00:34:30
Speaker
Because a lot of people are like, if you're a sports lover, most sports categories are categorized in such a way so that you're competing like against like, and clearly a person who has spent their entire life physically developing as a man and has had testosterone and has a male bone structure does not have the same as a female.
00:34:46
Speaker
So there's got to be some kind of concessions that's going to happen.
00:34:49
Speaker
And like, once again, this, okay, I hope anybody's going to get mad and like a rage quit FDS because I'm saying like the obvious, but I also feel like it's important to talk about this because it's sort of the elephant in the room right now with leftism where you're kind of seeing like,
00:35:03
Speaker
people who are trans, who are socially women, but they're biologically male, then trying to push towards certain interests, like literally physically disqualifying and pushing women out of certain spaces and then changing the entire basis in which women are measured or changing the entire conversation in such a way that benefits them at our expense.
00:35:23
Speaker
Yes.
00:35:24
Speaker
J.K.
00:35:24
Speaker
Rowling is right.
00:35:25
Speaker
Anyways.

Societal Design and Legacy Systems

00:35:29
Speaker
Mike Trump.
00:35:31
Speaker
Mic drop.
00:35:32
Speaker
Anybody who's thought about it for five minutes know she's right.
00:35:36
Speaker
Okay, number five in this episode, and then we'll wrap.
00:35:39
Speaker
The fifth tactic of male power is physical priority, meaning they design products, they design society in such a way that benefits them primarily at our expense.
00:35:50
Speaker
And this is where you see a lot of the minute conversation about how society sort of defaults to men that comes out of feminist circles like man spreading and the default temperature, the thermostat wars.
00:36:02
Speaker
And it comes down to the idea that for a long time, when men are designing things or creating things, because first of all, they were the only ones allowed to, they created them and designed them with the male default in mind.
00:36:13
Speaker
And that's everything from drugs.
00:36:15
Speaker
It might default to 150 pound man or 170 pound man that would probably be lethal to women.
00:36:22
Speaker
It comes down to things like the design of a car, right?
00:36:25
Speaker
They know, for example, that women are more likely to die in car accidents because of like the way that cars are designed.
00:36:30
Speaker
It's been designed for the height of a man and also things like where the airbags deploy.
00:36:35
Speaker
The thermostat wars are really funny one because they know that women are comfortable at higher body temperatures than men are.
00:36:43
Speaker
Meaning like we're more comfortable when it's hotter than men are.
00:36:47
Speaker
So there was a controversy, I think a couple of years ago at one of the debates about what to put the thermostat on, because like, I think it's like 70 degrees is more comfortable for men, but like 73 is more comfortable for women.
00:36:58
Speaker
So if you ever had a thermostat war in your house or in your family, it's often because men and women quite literally are physically more comfortable at different temperatures.
00:37:06
Speaker
If you've ever tried to take a shower with a man, that's always been wild because I like my shower scalding hot and every man like hates it.
00:37:14
Speaker
Are you a hot shower person?
00:37:15
Speaker
Yeah, that's probably also why men really, really even like fit men really struggling hot yoga, like really struggle.
00:37:24
Speaker
I heard it's because their sperm will literally fry.
00:37:27
Speaker
That's why.
00:37:27
Speaker
They need it to be colder because above a certain heating temperature, their sperm starts to die.
00:37:33
Speaker
And that's why some of them... Oh.
00:37:35
Speaker
Yeah, I heard about this.
00:37:35
Speaker
And then that's why they say that men aren't supposed to have the laptop on their lap because the heat from the laptop can actually boil their sperm and stuff.
00:37:42
Speaker
Oh, interesting.
00:37:44
Speaker
And when men get hot, their testicles droop away from their body to preserve the sperm from dying from heat stroke.
00:37:51
Speaker
LAUGHTER
00:37:53
Speaker
Basically, men need it colder so their sperm won't boil to death.
00:37:57
Speaker
Heat stroke sperm.
00:37:58
Speaker
That's hilarious.
00:38:00
Speaker
Exactly.
00:38:01
Speaker
So like prioritizing the physical comfort and safety of men by default is also another tactic of male power.
00:38:09
Speaker
If you make women physically uncomfortable in the environment because it's not designed to our bodies, then they can maintain power because we're less likely to want to be part of it.
00:38:18
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:38:20
Speaker
I think a strategy...
00:38:22
Speaker
as well, I think, at the bigger societal level, it's just really encouraging, you know, women to get into spaces where things are created.
00:38:32
Speaker
So engineering, STEM, and also, you know, not only just things like, we talk about physical priority as well, but
00:38:40
Speaker
This also bleeds into the non-physical areas as well, such as the legal system.
00:38:45
Speaker
For example, these are all places that prioritise, if we look at crime ratio, when the average defendant is a man, ultimately it again prioritises male physical and emotional and mental comfort over anything else.
00:39:01
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it could even be like handcuff sizes, right?
00:39:04
Speaker
Aren't like handcuffs built for men?
00:39:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:08
Speaker
Although technically, I guess that would be it's a priority for men only because they're more likely to commit violent crime.
00:39:14
Speaker
I mean, but even things like, you know, innocuous things like, you know, clothing, for example, it's only recently that at Wimbledon, they've relaxed the requirement for tennis players to have to wear white because traditionally speaking, tennis players wore white, I think was a sign of wealth, but obviously women have periods.
00:39:32
Speaker
So if you're playing in a match on your period, that's another mental, I guess, thing.
00:39:38
Speaker
you have to worry about is, oh shit, am I going to be leaking?
00:39:42
Speaker
But, and they've only recently relaxed that, I think it was either last year or the year before, you know, so that, you know, players don't have to wear, you know, white underwear.
00:39:51
Speaker
I mean, if you even think of the physical utility of clothing between men and women is that men's clothing is often designed to be comfortable and practical to them.
00:39:59
Speaker
Whereas women's clothing, it's restrictive to be attractive to men and often not practical for us.
00:40:06
Speaker
So again,
00:40:08
Speaker
just by design, things are often catering to men in a way that makes them feel better, more comfortable and in a better environment and are physically designed to make women uncomfortable.
00:40:20
Speaker
And for us to look more focused on our sexual, how sexually attractive we are to men.
00:40:25
Speaker
And this is where like when we talk about patriarchy, these more abstract concepts around patriarchy, when people say like, oh, feminism has gone too far or patriarchy is over, I'm like, horseshit.
00:40:36
Speaker
Because like still every day in society, we have all of these legacy systems that are completely built for and by men.
00:40:45
Speaker
at the expense of women.
00:40:46
Speaker
And if we really are serious about tackling patriarchy, you start to root these things out.
00:40:51
Speaker
Even our standard workday, for example, it's based on the old Ford Motor 40 hours a week workday that was prioritizing men who worked 40 hours a week for their family and not necessarily women.
00:41:05
Speaker
So there's a lot of legacy systems that are in place.
00:41:09
Speaker
And also even now, things like drugs are where it gets really, really
00:41:13
Speaker
scary because you realize they can test drugs just on men and put it out to market and not really study the effects on women.
00:41:21
Speaker
In fact, a lot of scientists will make the argument that because women have hormone cycles, it's too difficult to test drugs on women and therefore it's negligible and that we should just deal with it.
00:41:30
Speaker
So a lot of times they don't even prioritize and think about how certain things affect our bodies when they're trying to put new medical solutions or drugs on in the market.
00:41:40
Speaker
So even today, even though they're not going to come out and say like, oh, we're prioritizing men, they're doing it because it's more capitalist friendly.
00:41:48
Speaker
It's like something they can put on a market and make money for.
00:41:50
Speaker
And there's a million pieces in our economy where they feel like if they can get men on board and they can force women, even though it's uncomfortable us to just kind of deal with it.
00:41:59
Speaker
Exactly.
00:42:00
Speaker
So say no to that.
00:42:02
Speaker
Say no to that or start demanding that companies prioritize your comfort as much as for men.
00:42:08
Speaker
I think we did an episode a little while about air tags and how, of course, because these things are designed by scrotes, they didn't think about the fact that an air tag can be used to stalk people.
00:42:19
Speaker
It was sort of an afterthought.
00:42:21
Speaker
There's been a lot of other technology that's come on the market like that where...
00:42:25
Speaker
I now remember there was an app, for example, where it was supposed to ping you if anybody on the dating app was in your near vicinity.
00:42:32
Speaker
But of course, only the creepy guys would use that to stalk women who are not interested in them.
00:42:37
Speaker
So a lot of times men put stuff out on the market, not completely understanding that it's actively detrimental to their female customer base, because it doesn't even occur to them.
00:42:47
Speaker
And that stuff happens all the time.
00:42:48
Speaker
That's not something that just stops.
00:42:49
Speaker
That's like an ongoing problem with any type of new company, new technology.
00:42:54
Speaker
They will do test cases based on men and what is beneficial to men and not understand that there's all these drawbacks and judgments to women.
00:43:00
Speaker
And if they do find them, they'll often like be dismissive to the women who bring it up or they'll gaslight to women to say it's not a problem.
00:43:07
Speaker
So our job as women to root this out and be like informed consumers and push back on any company, any initiative that's being pushed to prioritize men at our expense.
00:43:18
Speaker
Exactly.
00:43:19
Speaker
Exactly.
00:43:20
Speaker
So those are the first five tactics.
00:43:22
Speaker
Let us know what you think.

Call to Action

00:43:24
Speaker
Yes.
00:43:25
Speaker
Comment, like, share, and subscribe.
00:43:27
Speaker
Of course, visit our Patreon, patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy.
00:43:30
Speaker
If you would like to discuss this episode with us on the discord, as well as access bonus content.
00:43:37
Speaker
And we've been doing a career series on the bonus content.
00:43:39
Speaker
I think people are really enjoying.
00:43:40
Speaker
So check us out on there.
00:43:42
Speaker
Also, you can discuss this episode on the website at the female dating strategy.com.
00:43:45
Speaker
forward slash the forum and follow us on Twitter at femdatstrat and on Instagram at underscore the female dating strategy.
00:43:55
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens and scrotes.
00:43:56
Speaker
Y'all are lucky I'm not shack sized because I would fly around the country, hand and out ass whoopings you so rightly deserve.
00:44:05
Speaker
Die mad.
00:44:06
Speaker
See you next week.
00:44:07
Speaker
Bye.