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Listener Stories: How Somali Women Are Surviving Organized, Targeted, Patriarchal Crime
21 Plays2 years ago
[*TRIGGER WARNING*] - Graphic descriptions of FGM, rape, and domestic violence.
The Queens welcome Maya, a Somali woman, to describe how the men of her country have systemically disenfranchised women at every turn to maintain control and what the women are doing to take back their power.
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Transcript
Introduction and Cultural Pressures
00:00:07
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:08
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-linked podcast on the internet.
00:00:13
Speaker
I'm Ro.
00:00:14
Speaker
And I'm Savannah.
00:00:16
Speaker
And today we are continuing our listener slice of life stories with a special guest from Somalia.
00:00:22
Speaker
Her name is Maya, and she's going to discuss her background, some of the cultural pressures and expectations put on Somali women and her FDS journey within that context.
00:00:33
Speaker
So welcome, Maya.
00:00:35
Speaker
Welcome, Maya.
00:00:36
Speaker
Thank you for joining us today.
00:00:38
Speaker
Thank you for having me.
00:00:40
Speaker
I'm excited to be here.
00:00:41
Speaker
So let's just jump right in.
00:00:43
Speaker
Talk about your upbringing and how it relates to your FDS journey.
00:00:47
Speaker
Because we love a good origin story.
00:00:50
Speaker
We love a good origin story.
00:00:51
Speaker
Of course.
00:00:52
Speaker
What's your villain origin story?
00:00:54
Speaker
Because everyone acts like FDS is just something that comes out of thin air because we're all bitter.
00:00:58
Speaker
But no, we looked around and realized the system wasn't set up for us to be successful.
00:01:02
Speaker
So...
Understanding FGM in Somalia
00:01:03
Speaker
Somalia is a very conservative, very Muslim country and it is basically very very much, there's just a lot of oppression going on here and it is the country that has the highest FGM rates in the entire world with a 97% of you know FGM happening here.
00:01:22
Speaker
And for people, sorry, let's intro it for people who don't know what this is.
00:01:26
Speaker
Although I'm sure our listenership does know, but FGM, short for female genital mutilation, that's a type of, quote, female circumcision where they give you a clitorectomy.
00:01:36
Speaker
Yeah, it's divided into four different types and they are severe from each other.
00:01:42
Speaker
Some of them are less severe than the others.
00:01:44
Speaker
But over here in older women, the most common form is type one, I think.
00:01:50
Speaker
And it is basically the most severe one.
00:01:52
Speaker
Okay, sorry.
00:01:53
Speaker
And not to get too gruesome, I didn't know there were different types.
00:01:55
Speaker
So is this something you feel comfortable discussing?
00:01:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:59
Speaker
Okay.
00:01:59
Speaker
Different types.
00:02:00
Speaker
Let me just get the definition here.
00:02:01
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:03
Speaker
So it has four different types of FGM.
00:02:07
Speaker
And the first type is usually known as the pharonic.
00:02:11
Speaker
That's what they call it.
00:02:12
Speaker
It is basically what happens is the clit is removed and also the inner lips are removed.
00:02:19
Speaker
And also everything is sewed together so that it only leaves a small hole at the bottom for menstruation to come out of a urine as well.
00:02:29
Speaker
So that is the most severe type and it's, you know, type 1 cancer.
00:02:33
Speaker
The different type is type 2 could be where they remove the clitoris and inner lips, but they do not do the swing.
00:02:42
Speaker
And the less severe form, which is type 3, is when they remove the hood of the clit, but not the clit itself.
00:02:50
Speaker
So it is more of a hodectomy, and that is the less severe form.
00:02:54
Speaker
And the last one is one that is not very general, so it could be a little bits of each of them mixed.
00:03:01
Speaker
So that's what they're divided to.
Rationale Behind FGM
00:03:03
Speaker
So what's the rationale behind this?
00:03:04
Speaker
Because I've heard a couple of different things, but I thought it'd be good to talk to someone who is immersed in the culture.
00:03:10
Speaker
What's the history and the logic?
00:03:12
Speaker
Oh, so the point, the essence behind it is controlling women's sexuality.
00:03:19
Speaker
So when women get sued up, men brag about, you know, how that woman cannot go have sex without, you know, having to go to a doctor to open it first or, you
00:03:31
Speaker
how she can't masturbate because also, you know, he would not want her to have that.
00:03:36
Speaker
And third is for him to have power that he can experience, you know, ejaculation and orgasms, but she can't.
00:03:44
Speaker
So that's also like a mental power dynamic that exists that, you know, so you can be like, I'm better.
00:03:50
Speaker
I experience more in life than you do and I control it.
00:03:53
Speaker
And also it means it just leaves the purpose of reproduction because the woman can only give birth
00:04:00
Speaker
missing every other part of her vulva.
00:04:03
Speaker
She's missing every other part except for the actual vaginal hole for penetration and for giving birth.
00:04:09
Speaker
That is so fucked up.
00:04:10
Speaker
And so is this something that is done automatically at birth?
00:04:16
Speaker
Or is it something that the family decide?
00:04:18
Speaker
Or is it done a few months after birth?
00:04:22
Speaker
That's a very
The Process and Consequences of FGM
00:04:23
Speaker
good question.
00:04:23
Speaker
So it's done when you're older.
00:04:26
Speaker
So it's done when you're like around 10, like before you like fully hit puberty.
00:04:31
Speaker
Really?
00:04:31
Speaker
Yeah, not at birth.
00:04:33
Speaker
And the severe form that is usually done in the countryside, what they do is they hold down the child.
00:04:41
Speaker
that is getting mutilated so they do not resist and then they perform it and then what they do is they get a rope and they tie their legs together and they have to stay seated in that same position for seven days until the sewing is all healed up so it doesn't open up easily and a lot of younger girls a lot of children get severe septic shocks and infections immediately from that point and they end up dying
00:05:09
Speaker
Because I imagine as well, like out in the village, in African villages, there's not like sanitation or sterilization.
00:05:16
Speaker
I'm not excusing FGM, but just thinking about the process.
00:05:20
Speaker
And again, I'm not saying it will be any better if it was done at birth, but a 10 year old, you will remember that pain and that trauma.
00:05:27
Speaker
even not at 10, a lot of them get it done at 12, at 9, at 8.
00:05:32
Speaker
And there is not any anesthesia included in this process for the children.
00:05:38
Speaker
And also in the villages, in African villages, you know, they don't have access to any like incision equipment.
00:05:45
Speaker
What they use is basically like the roots of plants, which is really blunt.
00:05:51
Speaker
Yeah, they use something rudimentary.
00:05:55
Speaker
Every time I think I want to, you know, maybe have a little bit of sympathy for men and just be a little bit more reasonable.
00:06:01
Speaker
I hear something like this and I'm like, no, keep our boots on these fuckers necks every single day.
00:06:06
Speaker
Wake up.
00:06:08
Speaker
I'm going to make it my personal mission in life to make sure males don't succeed at anything.
00:06:12
Speaker
I don't want them to have power of any kind.
00:06:15
Speaker
Well, this is a good example in this country where men have the utmost power.
00:06:20
Speaker
It's a very good example for women in Western countries to observe and see what would men do if they had all the power.
Western Perception of FGM
00:06:29
Speaker
And what they would exactly do is what they do here, because this is the perfect environment for that.
00:06:34
Speaker
I mean, there's some element of that here, too, but I think that we sort of compartmentalize it.
00:06:39
Speaker
I mean, in fact, there is a couple of documentaries about like music festivals that got out of control and then all these like mass rapes happened.
00:06:48
Speaker
Like there was Woodstock and another one called Freaknik.
00:06:50
Speaker
And so like the men here will act barbaric and do things like that when there's like a slight breakdown in social order.
00:06:58
Speaker
In a second, they have to take advantage of that immediately.
00:07:02
Speaker
The second part of Savannah's question was, is it automatic?
00:07:06
Speaker
And yes, it is automatic.
00:07:09
Speaker
You are not safe from it unless your family is
00:07:13
Speaker
a very highly educated family or, you know, that your parents know that, you know, the danger of it, but unless you are not, then that's why it is so common.
00:07:24
Speaker
But the common aspect, the one that is the most done to, you know, younger women is the less severe form, which I'm kind of, you know, glad about.
00:07:35
Speaker
I'm not glad about any of it.
00:07:36
Speaker
I'm struggling because I'm really trying to.
00:07:39
Speaker
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
00:07:40
Speaker
I just didn't recognize how graphic it would have gone.
00:07:44
Speaker
And like, I'm getting emotional just speaking about it.
00:07:47
Speaker
I'm really sorry.
00:07:48
Speaker
I was hoping not to make you uncomfortable talking about it, but it is important.
00:07:52
Speaker
No, it's fine.
00:07:53
Speaker
I'm good.
00:07:54
Speaker
We have to get this message across.
00:07:56
Speaker
And it just, to pivot slightly, it makes me so angry hearing that because I will admit I was ignorant about FGM.
00:08:03
Speaker
I thought it was something that was done at birth to young female babies.
00:08:07
Speaker
Obviously, I wouldn't make it any better.
00:08:09
Speaker
But what you've described is just so much more horrific.
00:08:12
Speaker
And it just makes me even more angry when you see men comparing FGM to circumcision.
00:08:18
Speaker
And it's like, unfortunately, you can still have an orgasm.
00:08:21
Speaker
unfortunately in most cases you don't remember with the pain of circumcision because it's normally done you know when the male child is a fetus i know there's debates on either side so the circumcision is okay but it's nowhere it isn't fgm it isn't comparable at all and the fact that men use it is just for them to promote the side of men's you know comparing their issues with women's issues so they can take it away from us
00:08:48
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, men like to make false equivalences in order to make themselves victims of things that are often perpetuated by them in the first place, right?
00:08:56
Speaker
Like a lot of male circumcision is obviously like a traditional religious thing when it came from Judaism, but they also still do it because of like lowers their risk of infection.
00:09:08
Speaker
It lowers their risk of infecting their partners and it's skin, right?
00:09:12
Speaker
Essentially like... It is skin.
00:09:13
Speaker
It's not an organ.
00:09:15
Speaker
Exactly.
00:09:15
Speaker
So...
00:09:17
Speaker
quite a bit of a difference.
00:09:18
Speaker
And it's also done for different reasons.
00:09:20
Speaker
They're not doing it to like control men and like make them subjugated to anything like that.
00:09:24
Speaker
It's just like both a cleanliness thing, a lower infection rate thing, as well as like for some people who are part of the Jewish religious or religious thing.
00:09:32
Speaker
But I'm like, I might be way off, but I just have a feeling that like thousands of years ago, Jewish people figured out that like they could lower the infection transmission rates, especially like STIs and UTIs and all sorts of like
00:09:47
Speaker
bacterial infections that would be transmitted from men to women by like circumcising men because you can like because if you don't clean your foreskin then you can get all sorts of gunk and shit in there and then it can infect women right so i just have like when i look at like circumcision i think of like male circumcision it seems to seem to serve a much more practical purpose whereas like female circumcision is just like a barbaric thing to
00:10:10
Speaker
subjugate women and make sure that they don't experience happiness and pleasure whereas like for male circumcision it's just because they're actually fucking gross and you need to make sure that they don't infect like the women in their life with whatever shit they have like taking residence in their foreskin so basically smegma and what i have you those pathogens in their foreskin
00:10:32
Speaker
Yeah, so it happens in so many different, you know, African countries.
00:10:37
Speaker
And I want to mention one more horrific example, which is Sudan.
00:10:41
Speaker
So in Sudan, a lot of women also get FGM.
00:10:45
Speaker
And the difference between that and, you know, the FGM done here is Somali women, they usually go to a hospital so they can have it like undone before they get married.
00:10:57
Speaker
So like when they get married, that's when they go to the hospital, get it removed because, you know, they can't actually,
00:11:02
Speaker
have sex with anyone with that state.
00:11:05
Speaker
But in Sudan, what they do is the man has to open it himself.
00:11:12
Speaker
He has to do it by penetration, which
00:11:15
Speaker
has caused so much more death in Sudan.
00:11:18
Speaker
I want to come up with a biological weapon that just affects the Y chromosome.
00:11:22
Speaker
This is one of those times where I wish I had majored in biology because I would just try to get gain-of-function research that I could just strategically release on a male population and be like, you know, I don't think, I think it's over for them.
00:11:35
Speaker
And I just need to start over.
00:11:38
Speaker
I just can't comprehend just how mean it is.
00:11:43
Speaker
Just evil.
00:11:45
Speaker
So it is extremely mean.
00:11:47
Speaker
And you know what?
00:11:48
Speaker
In Sudan, it means basically it's a masculinity thing where a man, you know, gets the right to brag about it.
00:11:57
Speaker
And what they do is even after they give birth to their first child, you have the little, you know, 40 days after you give birth and, you know, you're still bleeding and everything.
00:12:07
Speaker
And, you know, your family can come over, take care of you because no man wants to take care of any woman because why would he do that?
00:12:15
Speaker
So after that, they pressure their wives to get a new FEM.
00:12:20
Speaker
So that's also a real thing that a lot of women in Sudan are facing.
00:12:25
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:12:26
Speaker
This is like small dick energy on steroids.
00:12:30
Speaker
It's just like the mind of a depraved man because I always, whenever you hear stuff like that that just gets passed down for thousands of years or what have you, you know it was like one sociopathic asshole who just infected the population with his disgusting, controlling, nasty ways.
00:12:48
Speaker
And then it's just become like a thing that people keep doing because they don't.
00:12:52
Speaker
realize that I guess they shouldn't or I don't know, right?
00:12:56
Speaker
What disrupts that kind of longstanding tradition?
00:13:00
Speaker
It just comes to the point where women just have enough or they find some way to have power or they realize like, oh, not all women are getting their clits chopped off.
00:13:07
Speaker
Oh, this means this is like actually an optional thing.
00:13:10
Speaker
It is organized, targeted, patriarchal crime.
00:13:15
Speaker
I know there's a lot of awareness now in the West about this practice.
00:13:19
Speaker
What's been your experience with Westerners' perception of it and what Westerners can actually do?
00:13:25
Speaker
Because I always feel somewhat impotent to do anything.
00:13:28
Speaker
I live, obviously, in the States.
00:13:30
Speaker
And so when I hear these things happening to women all over the world, I'm like, what do I do?
00:13:33
Speaker
Try to raise money?
00:13:35
Speaker
Do we try to find an underground network?
00:13:37
Speaker
Or...
00:13:38
Speaker
So already here, even it started here, like the people who advocate for SGM to be known about are women, because men here are still fighting women in talking about this.
00:13:50
Speaker
Because men are thinking, why would they want to spread this?
00:13:53
Speaker
And, you know, why would they want to stop this?
00:13:55
Speaker
You know, because again, this is benefiting them.
00:13:57
Speaker
So I feel like in Western countries, even if I'm not sure this is kind of me.
00:14:02
Speaker
What's even a bigger problem is that a lot of people in the West deny sex-based oppression, and I'm just going crazy.
00:14:10
Speaker
Yeah, that's not mean.
00:14:11
Speaker
That's fair.
00:14:12
Speaker
How could you deny that when we are the living example of if you were born here and you were born male, none of that would happen to you.
00:14:20
Speaker
But if you just happen to be born female, then you could never escape that.
00:14:23
Speaker
In my opinion, having been in some of these circles, it's like it's a sort of benevolent racism where they feel like they can kind of compartmentalize this stuff to the brown countries and not realizing that like it's not...
00:14:37
Speaker
that these guys are necessarily brown.
00:14:39
Speaker
It's a cultural thing.
00:14:41
Speaker
And if you don't watch for these types of things in your own culture, men will find a way to make it happen, right?
00:14:46
Speaker
There's a big discussion right now about some of the medical practices they're using to transition girls from female to male when it comes to like transgender identity.
00:14:55
Speaker
And there's been a huge controversy.
00:14:57
Speaker
in the States, because there's been people who've been whistleblowing and saying like, these doctors are pushing these girls through to go through and get mastectomies to try to do skin grafts, get fake penises to go on hormones that'll destroy their ability to, I mean, self forget their hormones, like they'll shrink their ovaries, it'll cause all sorts of long term problems.
00:15:15
Speaker
And it's being given to them because they'll be like, Oh, I'm a woman who feels uncomfortable in my body.
00:15:19
Speaker
And then the medical industry would be like, you should transition to a man.
00:15:22
Speaker
So like stuff like this keeps happening in like different forms where women's bodies get highly politicized.
00:15:29
Speaker
Instead of making society better for women to exist, what they do is they try to create some external mechanism to justify why this person needs like some kind of medical intervention and quite frankly, mutilation of their bodies to exist in a world that's really built for men.
00:15:46
Speaker
So like a lot of people here wouldn't see that as like sexism.
00:15:49
Speaker
They wouldn't see that as sex based oppression.
00:15:51
Speaker
They would look at that and be like, well, we want to support people who are trans, etc.
00:15:55
Speaker
And I'm not saying that we shouldn't.
00:15:56
Speaker
I'm just saying that there's clearly for there to be such an explosion of girls who are suddenly deciding that they're actually men because they feel uncomfortable in their bodies, that perhaps that's it's not just a matter of gender dysphoria, that there's other cultural pressures there.
00:16:11
Speaker
Yeah, if women here could have that choice, well, I can assure you that 90% of women here would have transitioned as well, you know, if they had that choice, because why would anyone want to be oppressed here, you know?
00:16:24
Speaker
So it just seems like people are trying to escape the oppression instead of facing it and
00:16:30
Speaker
I don't know.
00:16:32
Speaker
So I think that's all I have about FGM.
00:16:34
Speaker
But I could add an answer to the last question.
00:16:40
Speaker
I would want people to have more awareness about FGM.
00:16:44
Speaker
I want it to be more spoken about.
00:16:46
Speaker
I don't want it to be censored.
00:16:48
Speaker
I want it to be discussed for all of it, different types, and to actually see the numbers of people affected, women affected by it.
00:16:56
Speaker
Because a lot of people just tend to think that, you know, the only thing we face as, you know, developing countries or third world countries are, you know, that capitalism and, you know, the different economy and just, you know, our struggle with education and all of these other things, which are all very important.
00:17:15
Speaker
But also there is a horrible problem of extreme misogyny happening here.
00:17:20
Speaker
And I just want it to be known and spoken about more.
00:17:24
Speaker
Could you give us some other examples of the misogyny in Somalia?
00:17:28
Speaker
Because when I, again, talk to Western feminists sometimes, I
Marriage and Divorce in Somalia
00:17:34
Speaker
don't think they fully understand, you know, that misogyny can and does represent differently, especially in parts of Africa where it is such a patriarchal society.
00:17:46
Speaker
You know, I know we say that the world is patriarchal, but it's a different level in Africa, a completely different level.
00:17:53
Speaker
And they're so overt about it as well.
00:17:55
Speaker
So can you give some examples that are specific to Somalia outside of FGM?
00:17:59
Speaker
And especially even some, for example, dating, you know, marriage examples as well.
00:18:04
Speaker
So a good one, a very good prominent example here is, I think it affects many different countries as well because of the religion.
00:18:12
Speaker
So this one is divorce, for example.
00:18:15
Speaker
So when a woman gets married, so we have the Islamic marriage, the nikah.
00:18:21
Speaker
So, you know, when women get married, a lot of men try to get women purposefully pregnant after their nikah so that the woman can denounce her rights to a wedding party and that he wouldn't have to spend money on the party and invitations.
00:18:37
Speaker
Yes.
00:18:38
Speaker
So that's one thing.
00:18:40
Speaker
Also, the dowry, a lot of men are pressuring more and more women to not receive dowry.
00:18:48
Speaker
So dowry itself is, you know,
00:18:51
Speaker
Very much is a little bit problematic in a sense, but it would work well if women actually received it, but they don't.
00:19:00
Speaker
So they get promised and a lot of them agree with the promise, but they don't actually ask for it in gold or in money or in cash.
00:19:09
Speaker
Yeah, I think we spoke about this, Maya, actually, because we have dowries in the Yoruba culture as well.
00:19:15
Speaker
And in the rise of the pick me-ism, I guess, you also have some women, you know, some Nigerian female celebrities, they've resorted to paying for their own dowry or bride price, as we call it.
00:19:27
Speaker
because, you know, their partners just broke.
00:19:29
Speaker
And, you know, the weird thing is over there as well, is that if the dowry is low or it's rubbish, that reflects badly on the bride and not the groom, because it's seen as like, oh, she's clearly not worth a lot if he's not willing to pay, when actually there's all these sorts of factors, you know, such as the ones you've just mentioned, and also the fact that some women are now resorting because they want to get married to just paying their own dowry.
00:19:54
Speaker
Yes.
00:19:55
Speaker
If that woman gets divorced, the woman who gets her dowry, if she gets divorced and she's the one who's asking for divorce, she has to return every penny of it.
00:20:05
Speaker
Oh, we do a no refund policy.
00:20:07
Speaker
So we have 100% guarantee a refund guarantee policy.
00:20:12
Speaker
If the marriage fails, we 100% guarantee you won't get it back.
00:20:16
Speaker
At least my family don't do refunds.
00:20:18
Speaker
We've never been in that situation.
00:20:20
Speaker
But yeah, you're right.
00:20:20
Speaker
Some cultures do.
00:20:21
Speaker
They have to refund it.
00:20:23
Speaker
So this is more of a religious, it's the pressure of the religion because you cannot just stand against the religion here because it will cause you even more.
00:20:32
Speaker
And the thing is, this is a very important point.
00:20:35
Speaker
When a man refuses to give this woman her divorce because he's the one who controls giving the divorce here, the woman is affected because, you know,
00:20:43
Speaker
polygamy is legal here so the man can just go remarry and continue his life but as long as that woman is married to him she cannot go and remarry anyone else so she has to say i no longer want the dowry i want divorce and that's the only condition that he will divorce her for her not to get paid and she has to return the money
Custody and Exploitation
00:21:06
Speaker
so legally here women
00:21:09
Speaker
can't raise their children if they remarry, the court takes them away from them.
00:21:15
Speaker
What?
00:21:16
Speaker
They literally take your children away?
00:21:18
Speaker
Yes, if you remarry.
00:21:19
Speaker
And they say, if you do not remarry and you are just raising your ex-husband's children, then it's fine.
00:21:27
Speaker
You can keep them.
00:21:28
Speaker
But also, a lot of men, they leave children with women
00:21:33
Speaker
And when these kids grow up and they are more like independent are at 15 and 16, they take these children away from women and there is no law against it.
00:21:43
Speaker
I'm trying to process this right now.
00:21:45
Speaker
So it's like anything that would help you live an independent life, they have predicted and made laws against.
00:21:52
Speaker
So if you need to leave an abusive man, you have to pay your dowry back.
00:21:57
Speaker
So you don't have any money to leave.
00:21:59
Speaker
If you try to get remarried and be supported by another man, they'll take your children away.
00:22:04
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:22:05
Speaker
And the divorce proceedings are so difficult, purposefully difficult.
00:22:10
Speaker
So when the woman goes to the court and she is asking for a divorce, already the dowry is out of there, you know, if she asked for it.
00:22:18
Speaker
But if she said, I don't want any money, I just want to get divorced, the court will return her for the first maybe 15 times.
00:22:26
Speaker
And I'm not saying this number lightly.
00:22:28
Speaker
They return women and tell them,
00:22:31
Speaker
they should go and think about their decision because the man testified and said, oh, I still want to be married to my wife.
00:22:38
Speaker
So because he said that, she gets returned around 20 times or some crazy number.
00:22:44
Speaker
And then she has to return after all of this and keep asking for this divorce to eventually get it.
00:22:51
Speaker
When she gets it, if they have kids, she has to ask for child support.
00:22:56
Speaker
And if she remarries, he's not going to support her or her children anymore.
00:23:01
Speaker
And some of them quit their jobs out of spite of not giving their wives child support.
00:23:08
Speaker
I have firsthand experience with that aspect of it.
00:23:10
Speaker
And maybe one day I'll talk about it on the pod, but my father was very much spiteful like that.
00:23:14
Speaker
Like, you're just going to stifle your own career so you don't have to pay child support.
00:23:17
Speaker
All right.
00:23:18
Speaker
But a lot of men will do that shit.
00:23:20
Speaker
So that's just... Yeah, it is basically... It's a man's utopia.
00:23:25
Speaker
It's basically what happens when a man...
00:23:28
Speaker
This seems like a wet dream of a man, this entire country.
00:23:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:33
Speaker
I mean, how do I say this?
00:23:35
Speaker
The thing about it is that when men do things like this, they inadvertently stifle their own country's productivity, growth, health, everything.
00:23:44
Speaker
So this is why I don't think men should have power because like they're not good at it.
00:23:49
Speaker
right?
00:23:49
Speaker
Like everything that we have, that's pretty like good and functional.
00:23:53
Speaker
Like you might say, okay, men have been innovative.
00:23:56
Speaker
Men have like created a lot of the like technologies out there, but truthfully they did it on the backs of female oppression.
00:24:02
Speaker
And when they stopped or like at least lessened it, I should say, like we were able to experience exponential amounts of productivity, growth,
00:24:10
Speaker
happiness, wealth in the country.
00:24:13
Speaker
And to the extent that we tip the scales in men's favor, in any type of system, communism or capitalism or socialism, what have you, it ends up stifling everything that's good about living in a society.
00:24:27
Speaker
Right.
00:24:28
Speaker
Not just for women, but really for everybody like women directly, like women always feel it first or a minority group within that country feels it as well.
00:24:35
Speaker
But then eventually it comes for everybody.
00:24:37
Speaker
Right.
00:24:38
Speaker
You can't really like compartmentalize oppression in the way that a lot of people believe it can be done.
00:24:43
Speaker
You can't be like, oh, well,
00:24:45
Speaker
we're just going to be nasty to this individual tribe.
00:24:49
Speaker
And we're just going to treat women like this.
00:24:50
Speaker
It's something that once you allow sociopaths like that to be emboldened, they don't really stop at one person.
00:24:58
Speaker
They don't have an off switch.
00:24:59
Speaker
So I guess I'm just saying it's for everyone's benefit for us to make sure that men don't thrive.
00:25:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:08
Speaker
I agree 100%.
Education and Opportunity
00:25:11
Speaker
With all of this power that they've given themselves in this country, their rates of education is still the lowest.
00:25:19
Speaker
And women had no access to education.
00:25:22
Speaker
Women my mother's age and my grandma's age, none of them had any access to any sort of education.
00:25:29
Speaker
Men made sure that the only people who studied were men, so they can further keep the power dynamic going.
00:25:36
Speaker
So now I feel like maybe the 90s, like women who were born in the 90s are the first generation of women who are actually learning and studying and going to schools.
00:25:48
Speaker
And even with that, women are still, you know, excelling at school and they all have multiple degrees and they are also hardworking.
00:25:58
Speaker
And all of these men with all of this power dynamics that they made for themselves, they are still shit, basically.
00:26:04
Speaker
Worldwide, that's happening.
00:26:05
Speaker
It's not even just your country.
00:26:07
Speaker
Worldwide, women are outperforming men academically.
00:26:10
Speaker
Like as soon as they let their oppression up a little bit, like gave us a little bit of opportunity, we just surpass them.
00:26:17
Speaker
And it's just, again, I think the myth of male genius is just wildly overblown.
00:26:22
Speaker
I think there's like a few guys that are very smart and then a bunch of guys who are just like standing around a circle, digging in their own asshole and smelling it and who honestly are infilling prisons and making the rest of us miserable.
00:26:33
Speaker
And that's why I feel like them saying that men deserve to be empowered based on a few, a select few of men who are extraordinarily talented and ignoring the fact that the average man is probably crap and the average woman is probably a lot more industrious and intelligent.
00:26:47
Speaker
It's just a way for them to justify overall oppression and stifle growth.
00:26:52
Speaker
It's the myth of representation.
00:26:53
Speaker
They make sure that all smart men represent them and they make sure that women have the worst type of representation.
00:27:00
Speaker
So this can happen in the form of proverbs.
00:27:03
Speaker
So there are Somali old cultural proverbs that talk about
00:27:07
Speaker
women should not have friends you know your friends will try and ruin your household and you know they will try and ruin your marriage and it's just a tactic of them trying to overcome women becoming you know friends and close to each other so they can help each other out because they are terrified of women forming you know like become so so uh what's the word like self-sufficient or solidarity yes
00:27:32
Speaker
Yeah, because I've always said that's one of the biggest threats to patriarchy is, you know, women developing a strong sense of class solidarity.
00:27:42
Speaker
And that is one thing I've said this on my on my Twitter recently is that that is one thing that women can potentially take from men is that sense of, you know, class solidarity, just solidarity.
00:27:52
Speaker
You may not agree with a woman, you may not understand where she's coming from, but when it comes to us being able to liberate ourselves, us being able to survive in this patriarchy, we just need to have each other's backs more, and men know this.
00:28:04
Speaker
And this is why they are so invested in sowing seeds of division, in creating a hierarchy of women.
00:28:11
Speaker
And unfortunately, we are socialized into falling for it.
00:28:14
Speaker
Like I'm sure again, in African cultures, like, you know, you have the women who were like, you know, growing up, I used to hear, you know, suitable for marriage types of women and then the whores.
00:28:24
Speaker
And then this sort of dichotomy around women is pushed in the cinema as well, where you have, you know, the village girl who hasn't got much life experience.
00:28:33
Speaker
She's the perfect wife.
00:28:35
Speaker
And then you have the city girl who dares to have friends and go out.
00:28:38
Speaker
You know, she's a terrible wife.
00:28:40
Speaker
If you ever watch,
00:28:41
Speaker
you know nigerian hollywood you'll just see the misogyny it's so overt that it's laughable but it's not because these beliefs are so internalized yes you've seen many movies from nollywood and when you watch it you would think these are cartoonishly you know evil plans and there's no way it happens in real life but then i wish it's true it's actually true actually happening
00:29:07
Speaker
It's true.
00:29:09
Speaker
You know, that's my hope for patriarchy.
00:29:10
Speaker
And in a way, I'm sort of, I'm not glad that these men are trying to sow division.
00:29:15
Speaker
But at the same time, it just goes to show that they are scared of female solidarity, which is why women, we need to prioritize it above anything else.
00:29:24
Speaker
This is why Somali women, one of their major resilient points, even though within all of this oppression, comes in the form that they are very much, they form, you know, a lot of tight knit groups.
00:29:39
Speaker
And it is basically originally made it so they can survive financial abuse.
00:29:44
Speaker
Because men have all the money because he has all of the education.
00:29:49
Speaker
He is, you know, the head of the family and he can easily control and manipulate and harm this woman.
00:29:56
Speaker
So, you know, their neighbors and their cousins, they would get together and come up with ways for this woman to save money.
00:30:04
Speaker
And when they save this money, you know, she would keep it hidden from her husband.
00:30:09
Speaker
And then it would basically come to like help her in the future.
00:30:13
Speaker
So that's one of the ways that women here are coping in the face of this oppression.
00:30:18
Speaker
And men hate it.
00:30:20
Speaker
So they start by saying, oh, from, you know, like they use religion to dispute this.
00:30:24
Speaker
So you would hear the imams talking about how, yeah, women sitting together is never good.
00:30:29
Speaker
When women sit together, they can only talk about bad things.
00:30:32
Speaker
Make sure women never sit together.
00:30:34
Speaker
And it's like in public, in public, you hear this.
00:30:38
Speaker
And it just shows that they are afraid.
00:30:39
Speaker
They're terrified.
00:30:41
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to piss off a lot of religious people here, but I feel like half the Bible is just like incel rantings and half of the ancient religious text is just like incel rantings.
00:30:54
Speaker
The thing is, is like there's like a lot of interspersed good lessons.
00:30:58
Speaker
But over the years, most of these religious texts have been edited by people.
00:31:03
Speaker
whoever was in power at the time.
00:31:04
Speaker
For example, like the canonical King James version of the Bible, there's a lot of books that they left out that had like more female empowerment messages that had been part of the culture, but they felt like, you know, weren't appropriate for the Bible.
00:31:17
Speaker
But then they'll just spend, they'll let like Paul have just like a bunch of different
00:31:21
Speaker
different chapters where he talks about all the way women are unclean and whatnot.
00:31:25
Speaker
Like, you know, sometimes it's just a little bit frustrating because you have to remember the context in which it was written.
00:31:32
Speaker
And this is why fundamentalist religious people are sometimes the worst misogynist
00:31:37
Speaker
They are.
00:31:39
Speaker
So when you think about religion, the first thing I started thinking about growing up was, why does it happen that every single thing that our religious leaders are preaching just happen to benefit men, but not us?
00:31:54
Speaker
So that was the first question I started asking.
00:31:56
Speaker
I think I was maybe five years old when I noticed this.
00:31:58
Speaker
And it wasn't just me, but it was a lot of my friends and my siblings and I.
00:32:03
Speaker
And, you know, the only time that, you know, these men preach anything about it is when they are saying, oh, you know, you should marry as much women as you want, you know, because obviously this is legal here.
00:32:16
Speaker
And they are like, yeah, you don't have to give them equal amounts of money, even though that's what religion says.
00:32:21
Speaker
You know, a good woman will stay with you through, you know, even if you had money or even if you didn't.
00:32:26
Speaker
And then these women end up having to work low paying jobs because they are uneducated.
00:32:31
Speaker
And it just keeps harming women.
00:32:34
Speaker
And these men keep preaching about it because, you know, again, this serves them.
00:32:38
Speaker
So they're like, if women work and they go outside, that means they are meeting a lot of men.
00:32:43
Speaker
They are seeing the world.
00:32:45
Speaker
Your wife is going to be different.
00:32:46
Speaker
She's going to start acting different if she gets a job.
00:32:48
Speaker
If she goes outside, you don't know who she's talking to.
00:32:51
Speaker
You don't know what goes in her mind.
00:32:53
Speaker
But if she's sitting at home and the only person that she sees is you, then you know, you can maintain control.
00:32:59
Speaker
So keep your wives and women at home.
00:33:02
Speaker
Don't let your daughters out.
00:33:03
Speaker
So this is something that I actively speak against.
00:33:06
Speaker
This is literally the plot line of so many Nollywood films.
00:33:09
Speaker
Like literally the plot line.
00:33:11
Speaker
Yes, I know.
00:33:13
Speaker
And then they start saying she's behaving wayward just because she wants to go out with her friends.
00:33:17
Speaker
And again, we laugh, but it's really insidious messaging.
00:33:21
Speaker
And a lot of these African men, they internalize that message and actively seek to ensure that their wife stays at home and doesn't go out and doesn't have friends and, you know, remains in the village.
00:33:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:33
Speaker
you know, doesn't pursue education because she will come across these different perspectives.
00:33:37
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:33:38
Speaker
And education opens up doors for women.
00:33:40
Speaker
Women, when they get educated, they start thinking and asking questions and they want to know more and they are terrified of that.
00:33:46
Speaker
So this is also another way of them just oppressing women further, controlling even our thoughts, even what we think.
00:33:53
Speaker
So they were like, even men who work in the libraries, they were like, oh yeah, whenever women come to me and they ask for a book, I tell them I don't have it, but I tell them that a cooking book is on discount.
00:34:10
Speaker
But there's a reason why, you know, I always like to say that a lot of women seem to believe that their liberation and ability to thrive in patriarchy will come by the way they look.
00:34:22
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:34:23
Speaker
if they're commercially attractive, but it's like, you know, there's a reason why makeup has existed probably since the beginning of humanity in some form, but women have been barred and are still barred from accessing education.
00:34:36
Speaker
Like men fear educated women a lot more than a beautiful woman.
00:34:41
Speaker
Definitely.
00:34:42
Speaker
Why do you think it's so affordable, but education is extremely expensive?
00:34:47
Speaker
Yes, it's so expensive.
00:34:49
Speaker
And women are still, you know, directly and indirectly, you know, prevented from accessing education.
00:34:56
Speaker
Remember in the Bible, Eve ate from the tree of knowledge and that was the original sin.
00:35:01
Speaker
And that basically sent her to hell.
00:35:03
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:35:05
Speaker
So it's one of those things where it is very deeply ingrained in the male psyche that women having any type of access to education is some kind of evil to them.
00:35:15
Speaker
Like it's maybe like the original incel paranoia.
00:35:19
Speaker
Like if I had to list like the things incels are paranoid about, it's like women knowing things is probably number one.
00:35:25
Speaker
How do you have thoughts?
00:35:27
Speaker
So, you know, the Somali Scourts, they cope different.
00:35:30
Speaker
So what they do even now when they saw that women are seeking education to battle and fight financial abuse, they started thinking, okay, okay, if my wife is working, then all of her money is mine.
00:35:42
Speaker
So they started implementing, you know, 50-50 lifestyle on women who are raising children alone, working full time in their homes, like as housewives.
00:35:53
Speaker
And then they made them go outside and do work so they can also take their money.
00:35:57
Speaker
And it's because how dare you say that you want to work and become independent?
00:36:02
Speaker
If you want to get education, if you want to go to school and dare to, you know, learn, then, you know, you're not going to be sitting at home.
00:36:11
Speaker
You know, you're not going to be having kids.
00:36:13
Speaker
to do nothing.
00:36:14
Speaker
You're going to have to go divide money with me, like finances.
00:36:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:19
Speaker
They want to keep us as like a slave class.
00:36:22
Speaker
They're perfectly fine with that.
00:36:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:24
Speaker
It's a frustrating thing because I don't know how to say this without sounding a certain way, but okay.
00:36:30
Speaker
tribalism to a certain extent makes sense, even though it's not a thing that we like strive to implement in the sense of like racism and etc.
00:36:39
Speaker
is an extension of being of one group of people who believe one thing or look a certain way being against another group of people who look one way and act a certain way, right?
00:36:48
Speaker
What I don't understand is doing this to like your daughters, sisters, mothers, lovers, people who are within your culture that you purport to love.
00:36:57
Speaker
And the only reason they do it is because we're actually women, right?
00:37:00
Speaker
And so it's very frustrating to see like the duality.
00:37:02
Speaker
And this is why it doesn't benefit.
00:37:04
Speaker
It benefits like...
00:37:05
Speaker
no one really to be racist, but especially not women, because it's not as if like any culture that has like this intense kind of tribalism, it doesn't tend to just stay confined to other cultures.
00:37:17
Speaker
Once again, I keep saying this, like eventually it does hit women the hardest, right?
00:37:22
Speaker
And various forms.
00:37:23
Speaker
It's just kind of wild to me to other people who are so intimately connected to you.
00:37:29
Speaker
But again, that's just, I guess, the human condition and an ugly part of humanity.
00:37:34
Speaker
Men care more about what benefits them.
Counteracting Oppression with FDS
00:37:38
Speaker
So the only thing all these men have in common, whether they're in America, whether they are in Somalia or in China or I don't know, the end of the world, what they maintain is what is benefiting them.
00:37:52
Speaker
And that comes to them first.
00:37:54
Speaker
instead of their children, their daughters or wives or their mothers.
00:37:58
Speaker
And it is that very, very deep solidarity that men have in maintaining order that I guess pushes them to keep doing this further.
00:38:08
Speaker
Yes, grow audacity, self-serving first and foremost.
00:38:12
Speaker
So I kind of want to like, hopefully make this conversation a bit less heavy.
00:38:16
Speaker
So for you personally, and then maybe culturally, like how do you feel it's possible to implement any type of FDS strategy within the cultural context that you live in?
00:38:29
Speaker
Okay, so the first steps are the only ways we usually can have and maintain power here is we don't really have to sleep with men.
00:38:39
Speaker
And which is a very good, you know, it works kind of here because the men also don't expect you to sleep with them.
00:38:46
Speaker
And you can just find out the type of person he is by, you know, talking carefully.
00:38:51
Speaker
to this man for years if you like just investigating you know doing all this vetting and you can take your time without him having to pressure you into anything and it gives women here you know some time to just check on this person
00:39:07
Speaker
So that's also like an FDS strategy that works better here.
00:39:11
Speaker
And also by literally making them pay for everything, by financially draining them.
00:39:17
Speaker
That's the only way.
00:39:19
Speaker
Make his pockets hurt.
00:39:20
Speaker
Yes.
00:39:24
Speaker
Yeah, ask for a crazy amount of dowry.
00:39:28
Speaker
And also a lot of a good way women here do is they ask their husbands to buy them gold.
00:39:33
Speaker
So Samani women enjoy gold and they love gold.
00:39:37
Speaker
And gold is nice because, you know, this men are stupid.
00:39:40
Speaker
They don't think like it's actually worth like actual money they dump.
00:39:44
Speaker
So they would like be like, I would want to give you gold, but I don't want to give you a house because they think, you know, a house is bigger than gold.
00:39:51
Speaker
or like, you know, the woman would eventually take the house or something.
00:39:54
Speaker
So we make them, you know, buy us a shit ton of gold and also just drain his pockets for the rest of his life until the day he dies.
00:40:03
Speaker
And like, make sure he leaves a lot of things for you written under your name.
00:40:09
Speaker
Leave him a hollowed-out husk of a carcass.
00:40:12
Speaker
Make sure he's working.
00:40:13
Speaker
Oh, they work.
00:40:14
Speaker
They really do.
00:40:15
Speaker
And they have to.
00:40:17
Speaker
Come on, after all this oppression, one of the... It's expensive to oppress.
00:40:23
Speaker
It's expensive to oppress, yes.
00:40:25
Speaker
It's expensive because...
00:40:27
Speaker
He has to pay for it.
00:40:29
Speaker
He has to spend a lot of money.
00:40:31
Speaker
So that's one way we kind of cope here is by, you know, even if he's your boyfriend, even if you're not married to him, these men still spend crazy amount of money on their girlfriends.
00:40:42
Speaker
Like the girls here, they ask them for laptops.
00:40:45
Speaker
They ask them for gold.
00:40:47
Speaker
They ask them for travel tickets.
00:40:50
Speaker
They ask them for new mobile phones.
00:40:52
Speaker
And then they sell the new mobile phones from one of their boyfriends.
00:40:54
Speaker
They make sure they speak to 16 different men and take something from each and
Empowerment through Education
00:40:59
Speaker
every one of them.
00:40:59
Speaker
That's the way to do it.
00:41:01
Speaker
May the best scammer win because there's just no reason in any way, shape or form to engage them in good faith.
00:41:07
Speaker
No, because they don't have good intentions towards us.
00:41:10
Speaker
So why would we?
00:41:12
Speaker
And I love that about Somali women.
00:41:14
Speaker
They really take their money seriously when it comes to taking money from men.
00:41:20
Speaker
And so...
00:41:21
Speaker
A good example is my sister's friend, she graduated from her master's and she never paid for her education.
00:41:29
Speaker
She never paid for her undergrad and she never paid for her master's.
00:41:33
Speaker
And all of this were paid by various different boyfriends.
00:41:37
Speaker
And then every gift that they bought her, she would always just sell it and then use that money for her classes.
00:41:42
Speaker
Wow.
00:41:44
Speaker
I love it.
00:41:46
Speaker
Clean shit.
00:41:48
Speaker
Yeah, take his money, sell it and get yourself educated on the sly.
00:41:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:53
Speaker
Well, that's the thing.
00:41:54
Speaker
They don't want us to get here.
00:41:55
Speaker
So that's the thing we're thirsty for.
00:41:57
Speaker
We want to learn and we want to get power.
00:42:00
Speaker
You can't control that.
00:42:01
Speaker
So, yeah, a lot of women take, even from their teachers, they make sure that their teachers, like, give them high grades.
00:42:08
Speaker
And, you know, like, they would flirt with their teachers.
00:42:10
Speaker
And they're like, you know, make sure I pass all these classes.
00:42:12
Speaker
And then I can move into a different classes.
00:42:14
Speaker
And I can have multiple degrees at once.
00:42:16
Speaker
So, yeah, whatever they can, honestly, whatever they can get out of it.
00:42:20
Speaker
I mean, that's the benefit of it being harder for men to pay attention in school, right?
00:42:25
Speaker
Maybe that's why they're so scared because there's like a big controversy in the States right now because obviously men are underperforming in comparison to women in school, but also like in grade school, but also in higher education.
00:42:37
Speaker
And my reaction to that is like, maybe they're just dumber and less motivated than us.
00:42:41
Speaker
And so in which case, this is a golden opportunity for women to take control.
00:42:46
Speaker
Let's just start doing the equivalent of what you just said.
00:42:49
Speaker
Like, let's just, you know, tell them one thing and then do another to empower ourselves, like make their pockets hurt.
00:42:55
Speaker
Because
00:42:56
Speaker
It's funny because like you could make the argument that it's like, oh, it's just like one culture, but it's not happening in just one culture.
00:43:02
Speaker
It's happening worldwide.
00:43:03
Speaker
It's a worldwide thing that's happening where women are getting educated by any means necessary, trying to get out from under the thumb of men and just absolutely killing them.
00:43:12
Speaker
Right.
00:43:12
Speaker
And not to mention is like, you know, for hyper capitalism, women are good employees because like we're less belligerent.
00:43:19
Speaker
as employees and a little bit easier to... Well, the other things they can pay us less a lot of times, which I hate, but a little bit easier to integrate into a social system.
00:43:28
Speaker
So it just makes more economic sense to invest in women in most cases.
00:43:33
Speaker
So watching this happen, I'm
00:43:35
Speaker
seeing women kind of come to collective realization, even in these like horribly oppressive systems about how to empower themselves and looking like, oh, I need to get educated.
00:43:43
Speaker
Oh, I need to like make these guys like pay me as much as possible upfront before I even think about investing them.
00:43:49
Speaker
No, I don't want to have sex with a guy until I'm comfortable, right?
00:43:52
Speaker
Like finding all these women coming to these independent conclusions is actually really encouraging.
00:43:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:59
Speaker
And
00:44:00
Speaker
If a woman does have sex with a man, it's going to hurt her more here because this man can just go and be like, it was that woman, I'm a different man, and he can just go to a mosque and pretend like he is a brand new man and everybody's going to worship him while women...
00:44:20
Speaker
can't actually do that.
00:44:22
Speaker
So I don't want them to think that like, you know, I'm against women having sex.
00:44:26
Speaker
I'm really all for it.
00:44:27
Speaker
But it's just here.
00:44:28
Speaker
I don't know.
00:44:29
Speaker
They get shamed if they do.
00:44:30
Speaker
And they got like, you know, it affects the more here.
00:44:33
Speaker
Yeah, that's everywhere.
00:44:36
Speaker
But it's like it's to varying degrees.
00:44:38
Speaker
Because in the Christian culture, same thing where like a guy could be absolutely disgusting and nasty and then go to church on Sunday and be like, Oh, forgive me everything.
00:44:47
Speaker
Jesus washed me with your blood, you know, stuff like that.
00:44:49
Speaker
So
00:44:51
Speaker
There's like one more heavy kind of thing that I think is important to mention.
00:44:55
Speaker
So there is no law against rape here.
00:44:58
Speaker
And there is no law against it.
00:45:00
Speaker
And, you know, the government fights that law actively to ever happen.
00:45:05
Speaker
And when women do get raped, because, you know, women will get raped everywhere in the world.
00:45:10
Speaker
So when women get raped here...
00:45:12
Speaker
They are forced to marry their rapist.
00:45:15
Speaker
And it's basically men made that system.
00:45:18
Speaker
That's how they live.
00:45:20
Speaker
And then they marry their victim.
00:45:22
Speaker
And then they can also remarry the woman that they want.
00:45:25
Speaker
And then that woman is a prisoner, basically, for the rest of her life.
00:45:29
Speaker
So then it incentivizes women to never talk about their rapes because then you would be forced to marry...
00:45:34
Speaker
Yeah, they never talk about it because if they talk about it, then they also get blamed.
00:45:39
Speaker
And it's like, oh, how did you get raped?
00:45:42
Speaker
Where were you?
00:45:43
Speaker
Why would you leave your home?
00:45:44
Speaker
Women are supposed to stay in their homes.
00:45:46
Speaker
So that was your fault.
00:45:47
Speaker
You know, women get raped by guys in their family.
00:45:50
Speaker
Like that's always the thing that irritates me the most.
00:45:53
Speaker
Like you are more likely to be raped by someone who already knows you than a stranger.
00:45:57
Speaker
Also, men are so petty.
00:45:59
Speaker
A lot of them, when they want to marry, they would choose a very successful woman.
00:46:04
Speaker
And then that woman would reject that man for, you know, X, Y, and Z. And then these men, this is more common, I think, in the southern part of Somalia.
00:46:13
Speaker
So they send someone to rape that woman.
00:46:16
Speaker
And then, again, because...
00:46:19
Speaker
There is no law against it and there is no protection against it.
00:46:22
Speaker
You cannot go to a police officer.
00:46:24
Speaker
You cannot go to a court.
00:46:25
Speaker
You can't do anything about it.
00:46:27
Speaker
So also this is just more risk for women here.
00:46:31
Speaker
So that's wild.
00:46:33
Speaker
So even like forcible rape, there's no law.
00:46:35
Speaker
So anything like a guy can just stand in the bush.
00:46:37
Speaker
Wow.
00:46:37
Speaker
Wow.
00:46:38
Speaker
Yeah, and that's why you just don't go outside.
00:46:41
Speaker
That's what they say.
00:46:41
Speaker
And they're like, oh, if you stay at your home, nothing is going to happen to you and you're going to avoid all of these horrible things.
00:46:48
Speaker
And then they charge women so much money for taxis because women are the only people who take taxis everywhere, who take cars everywhere because they can't walk literally anywhere.
00:46:58
Speaker
How easy is it to get out of the country?
00:47:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:02
Speaker
I mean, honestly, guys, it's so difficult.
00:47:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:06
Speaker
But I am actually going out.
00:47:07
Speaker
I'm traveling soon.
00:47:09
Speaker
I got into a master's degree in the UK.
00:47:13
Speaker
So I'm leaving in September.
00:47:15
Speaker
Yay.
00:47:16
Speaker
Oh, yay.
00:47:17
Speaker
So proud.
00:47:18
Speaker
Never go back.
00:47:19
Speaker
Starve the men of women there.
00:47:21
Speaker
I'm so serious.
00:47:22
Speaker
Like if I had any resources, I would do like an underground railroad for women in situations like this where the country's just kind of fugazi with the men.
00:47:29
Speaker
And it's like, yeah, it's time to start over.
00:47:31
Speaker
Totally fine.
00:47:32
Speaker
Like I talked about this a little bit on female political strategy when it comes to like refugee strategies.
00:47:37
Speaker
Like we're having a little bit of a problem in the U.S. right now because of all of the men that we had, we brought over from Afghanistan, wanted to bring their scrote ass Afghanistan ways that fucked up their country in the first place.
00:47:49
Speaker
And so there's like a part of me that's like, why do we bring them here?
00:47:53
Speaker
Like why?
00:47:53
Speaker
So they can like, in theory, anybody we have that immigrates to the States, like this is why we have citizenship tests and you have to like pledge allegiance and learn about our culture and learn about our laws.
00:48:05
Speaker
America is an idea.
00:48:06
Speaker
Right.
00:48:07
Speaker
And so everybody who lives here has to buy into the idea to a certain extent for it to work.
00:48:11
Speaker
But sometimes when we bring in like people from countries where the men have a lot of control, they don't want to live how we live.
00:48:18
Speaker
Right.
00:48:18
Speaker
They like the way like they can't see they can't connect the dots to see like your country sucks because of how you treat the women there.
00:48:26
Speaker
Yes, I have a good example about this.
00:48:28
Speaker
So my uncle traveled and he is like a spoiled, typical Somali man who had everything done for him his entire life.
00:48:36
Speaker
And then he goes to the UK and he started working.
00:48:40
Speaker
And I remember him calling my mom
00:48:43
Speaker
complaining and he was like there's a woman my boss is a woman and he was so angry about it and i was so happy if you're going to be so mad about a woman being your boss why did you want to go to that country so bad you know like it's so stupid like if you want to oppress women stay here
00:49:04
Speaker
This might be the like, go back to your country episode.
00:49:06
Speaker
But if you're going to feel like if you're just going to come to other countries and try to subjugate the women there, we don't want to.
00:49:12
Speaker
Right.
00:49:13
Speaker
Like stay in your scrot ass country where you can like pretend how great you are because you have all this power over powerless women.
00:49:19
Speaker
And then just keep cutting off your nose to spite your face because you won't grow up and like treat women as human beings.
00:49:25
Speaker
Exactly.
00:49:26
Speaker
I agree.
00:49:27
Speaker
If you don't like the laws, then don't go and don't complain about it because there are already countries you've made exactly how you want it to be and you've already set it up.
00:49:37
Speaker
Yeah, and it fucking sucks and it's your own fault.
00:49:40
Speaker
And even Jesus said like in the Bible, obey the law of the land.
00:49:43
Speaker
So if the law of the land is more liberal, then you should obey that.
00:49:47
Speaker
Just saying.
00:49:48
Speaker
I'm never going to claim we're perfect over here in the States, but I mean, at least on paper, we have laws, ideals that we're working towards.
00:49:57
Speaker
If you're here, you need to be doing that.
00:49:59
Speaker
It's a functional country.
00:50:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:02
Speaker
I want to mention Wisconsin.
00:50:03
Speaker
one more point about this is my last point of importance because after this I'm done so a lot of grown-up men you know there's a very large diaspora you know there's a lot of Somali people in different countries especially in the UK you know in Minnesota in Canada and in different European countries so I know very much about the ones in the UK because I heard a lot more about those so what they do is
00:50:27
Speaker
The women, the Somali women who travel, they integrate into society, they start working, and then they are in a society and in a country where they don't literally have to be terrified of getting raped or murdered in daylight.
00:50:42
Speaker
So they end up thriving and they end up getting more education and they take advantage of all of these amazing opportunities that they can find in these countries.
00:50:52
Speaker
But a lot of men crash and they hit, like, you know, they feel everything because they're so used to that old system that, you know, they made.
00:50:59
Speaker
So what they do is they can't marry, you know, other Somali women in the UK, for example.
00:51:04
Speaker
What they do is they become failures.
00:51:07
Speaker
They come back to Somalia and they search for underage, young, uneducated girls from the villages so they can control and practice their power over them.
00:51:19
Speaker
Yeah, they do the incel plan.
00:51:21
Speaker
What are they called again?
00:51:22
Speaker
Sex pats and passport bros.
00:51:28
Speaker
The thing about it is like, the more I talk to women from different countries, the more I realize like, oh, it's they're all the same.
00:51:35
Speaker
They all do the same shit.
00:51:37
Speaker
And this is like in a perfect example where, oh, they go to a country where women have like, you know, a modicum more rights from the place that they are.
00:51:45
Speaker
And they're like, the
00:51:45
Speaker
women here are too feminist or even in their own country women just like hey could you not cut off our vaginas the women here are too feminist i'm gonna go to another country and like you know or try to get a girl who's like five and make her marry me uh make her promise to marry when she's like 13 it's just the same oppressive tactics over and over and over again and i think you mentioned that they were even scamming the un sorry in our pre-conversation can we talk about that story okay so
00:52:11
Speaker
We have many NGOs here, you know, I don't want to mention them by name, but they're all like very big ones.
00:52:17
Speaker
They're like, you know, you guys would know them, especially Savannah would know them, you know, save the children from, I think the UK and, you know, all these big ones.
00:52:24
Speaker
So there are many, many of them here.
00:52:25
Speaker
And what they do is they pay families money or they give them, you know, food.
00:52:32
Speaker
such as, you know, like, you know, they would give them a monthly worth amount of food.
00:52:36
Speaker
And the condition would be send one of your daughters to school and you shall get all of these benefits.
00:52:41
Speaker
And what they do is they send their sons instead of, you know, the daughters, they keep the girls at home, they make the girls do domestic work for them, you know, do the chores and all of these things.
00:52:54
Speaker
And they take these, you know, money and keep this food and stuff to themselves.
00:52:59
Speaker
So scamming the charities.
00:53:00
Speaker
This is the problem.
00:53:01
Speaker
So that's why I even asked at the top of the episode, like, what can we really do?
00:53:04
Speaker
Because sometimes, I mean, I think a lot of Westerners in good faith, like they hear these stories, their heart bleeds, and they're like, we want to support women in these other countries.
00:53:14
Speaker
And then you find out stuff like this that like, okay, yeah, you can send money to save the children.
00:53:18
Speaker
But then the scrotes in the country are going to like take the money and be like, oh, yeah, I'll send my daughter to school.
00:53:23
Speaker
And then that never actually happens.
00:53:25
Speaker
And they spend it on drugs and stuff.
00:53:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:27
Speaker
Yes, they spend it on drugs.
00:53:29
Speaker
Exactly.
00:53:30
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:53:30
Speaker
You know this place.
00:53:32
Speaker
Burn the whole country.
00:53:33
Speaker
It's beyond hope.
00:53:39
Speaker
Sorry.
00:53:41
Speaker
I just really feel like if I had any connections to that world, I would start to do like an international women's bill of rights.
00:53:48
Speaker
And it would be like declaring blanket amnesty for any woman who wants to emigrate out of an oppressive country.
00:53:54
Speaker
Like you can just like, you should just be able to get up and leave and just be like, yeah, fuck those guys.
00:53:59
Speaker
Because I feel like what's holding a lot of women back is either like they really buy into the patriarchy and they want to be like the Aunt Lydia's of it, or they know it's messed up, but they can't leave, right?
00:54:10
Speaker
There are so many mechanism against them having the ability to do it.
00:54:13
Speaker
I'm really pro-immigration myself, but I feel like just for women at this point, like
00:54:18
Speaker
I feel like when men emigrate, it's like it's for sexual exploitation more often than not, or they want to bring their scrot ass ways to another country and like abuse the women there.
00:54:27
Speaker
So I'm like, I'm anti male immigration specifically.
00:54:32
Speaker
But but like female immigration is fine.
00:54:35
Speaker
Like you can only bring men in if they're like your children.
00:54:37
Speaker
Right.
00:54:38
Speaker
And like so there's still some hope for them.
00:54:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:40
Speaker
Even that one is still, you know, like questionable, but still like if they grow up Western, like, you know, not even just Western, but you bring them to a school because I don't want to say like blanket if they grow up Western, they're not going to be as good because that's obviously not the case.
00:54:54
Speaker
And then they end up, you know, like weirdos as well.
00:54:58
Speaker
They end up incels like crying online on like Reddit.
00:55:02
Speaker
Yeah, they become like, they start making all these sex bots and they, you know, are all like porn addicts.
00:55:10
Speaker
But essentially, like, because we have like more freedom in the US and the Western world in general, like they can go be gross on their own and we don't have to interact or touch them or don't have to marry them to do anything.
00:55:21
Speaker
which is like a vastly better turn of events than being like, oh, they're gross and porn addicted and entitled, but we have to marry one because otherwise we literally can't support ourselves or exist.
00:55:31
Speaker
Yeah, or society just won't let you live.
00:55:33
Speaker
Everybody's going to be like, why is your daughter not married?
00:55:35
Speaker
Oh, or why are they not married?
00:55:37
Speaker
Or what's wrong with them?
00:55:38
Speaker
And then eventually they push it against you so that the society, like Savannah said, society would say, well, what is wrong with this woman for not getting married?
00:55:45
Speaker
Instead of thinking, are there any normal men for her to marry?
00:55:49
Speaker
Yeah, I think those guys genes should die with them.
00:55:51
Speaker
That's the thing.
00:55:52
Speaker
So and the only way we can do that is if we refuse to marry them or remove and eventually those guys will die out.
00:55:57
Speaker
And the guys we want the handsome, nice guys that we've vetted, get married to them, have 17 kids and start populating the earth with like much better men than have been in the past.
00:56:08
Speaker
That's why I'm pro abortion.
00:56:09
Speaker
I'm not even pro choice.
00:56:11
Speaker
I'm literally pro abortion in the sense that I feel like you should be able to have an abortion just because you don't want to have
00:56:16
Speaker
I'm a guy's kid, like, because you think, no, I don't think you should carry on to the next generation.
00:56:20
Speaker
I just think I have a problem with you in general, or if you don't want to be a parent, etc.
00:56:25
Speaker
And I think, you know, like the Christians very intuitively understand this because like they have these movements where they have these, like the Mormons, especially have these massive families, the Catholics have these massive families where they, you know, they make birth control a sin.
00:56:39
Speaker
And it's about like making sure we populate the earth with their scrot ass ideas.
00:56:43
Speaker
And I feel like we need to create the opposite of that.
00:56:45
Speaker
I think we need women getting empowered, finding men who are good fathers, husbands, and are good to them and breeding them so that we can...
00:56:54
Speaker
A better future.
00:56:55
Speaker
Because like all around the world for the past, like 10s of 1000s, hundreds of 1000s of years, however long civilization has been for where you are, it's been like just scrotie men running around throwing crap at each other, oppressing women and forcing us to have kids against our will.
00:57:11
Speaker
So
00:57:11
Speaker
we're going to try to correct that and men are fighting it they're fighting in the states they're trying to get rid of abortion laws they're trying to get rid of birth control they're doing a lot of stuff right now but it's for the greater good there's like measurable tangible health of society improves when women have the ability to choose so i hope a lot of this episode illustrates why so feel nothing and take everything definitely it just ended up being so dark yeah
00:57:38
Speaker
I'm so glad you came on here to talk about this, Maya.
00:57:41
Speaker
We put out a call to action because we knew we had some listeners from all over the world who have life experiences that we can't even fathom, right?
00:57:48
Speaker
So I think having this and understanding that even in situations that are really, really dire, I guess, for women, you can find ways to empower yourself.
00:57:57
Speaker
And you shouldn't feel bad.
00:57:59
Speaker
Understand there's a worldwide coalition of women who are behind whatever you do.
00:58:03
Speaker
We defend women's wrongs over here.
00:58:06
Speaker
Even if it's like, never feel bad because the alternative is your slavery, right?
00:58:11
Speaker
And I would just love, you know, all of the listeners, you know, all these women from, you know, Western countries to honestly prioritize their education as much as they can.
00:58:20
Speaker
Because it is something you only know what it means when you see people fighting so hard against you getting it, you know, because I feel like, you know, they want women to be so distracted with like, you know, all these things.
00:58:31
Speaker
crazy surgeries and you know like fitting the beauty standards and all this meaningless shit and the true power lies in you know like financial stability education health all of that good stuff yeah i'll throw the rad thumbs some kudos here because like even though i always i always talk about how sometimes i feel like they over focus on the grooming aspect the truth of the matter is is like let's say we all stopped grooming and just all decided to prioritize our education do you think men are going to stop trying to have sex with us
00:58:58
Speaker
No, of course not.
00:58:59
Speaker
Like we can be absolutely fucking gross, like never bathe and be nasty or whatever.
00:59:04
Speaker
And they'll take what they can get.
00:59:05
Speaker
So yes, prioritize your education.
00:59:08
Speaker
Be attractive enough to where you feel comfortable and you can attract the men that you want.
00:59:12
Speaker
Be healthy, be strong, learn, speak different languages.
00:59:18
Speaker
Exactly.
00:59:19
Speaker
Ultimately, understand that men are choosing beggars.
00:59:23
Speaker
The vast majority of men are choosing beggars.
00:59:25
Speaker
And they know this.
00:59:26
Speaker
That's why they're on the Jordan Peterson and... Andrew Tate.
00:59:30
Speaker
Right.
00:59:31
Speaker
Talking about the 80-20 rule and all this stuff because they're all choosing beggars.
00:59:35
Speaker
And they're terrified that we'll figure it out and we'll just start making demands.
00:59:39
Speaker
So just leverage the power you have for wherever you are.
00:59:42
Speaker
And just know that we support you.
00:59:44
Speaker
We
00:59:44
Speaker
support you here on the fds pod do what you gotta do to get a little bit of power or a lot of it of power wherever you are any closing remarks no thank you so much i'm like my for your perspective and for validating some of the i know africa is a massive continent it's not a country like some americans like to think but there are
01:00:10
Speaker
Yeah, it's 52 different countries and none of them are similar, you know, and still there is that, you know, solidarity that they have.
01:00:18
Speaker
They all just hate women, you know.
01:00:20
Speaker
Right.
01:00:22
Speaker
52 countries and they all hate women.
01:00:24
Speaker
Exactly.
01:00:25
Speaker
Yeah, that's it, basically.
01:00:26
Speaker
Well, it's so nice talking to you guys.
01:00:29
Speaker
Thank you, Maya, so much.
01:00:31
Speaker
Thank you so much for coming on.
01:00:34
Speaker
So that is our show.
01:00:35
Speaker
Check us out on Twitter at femdatstrat and our weekly bonus content.
01:00:39
Speaker
And if you want to discuss this with us on Discord, we would love to.
01:00:43
Speaker
I think this was a great episode.
01:00:45
Speaker
Check us out at patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy or on our Instagram at underscore the female dating strategy or our website, the female dating strategy dot com.
01:00:54
Speaker
And check out the forum to discuss this episode.
01:00:57
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens.
01:00:59
Speaker
And for all of these quotes, I hope you get tuberculosis and die.
01:01:02
Speaker
Die mad.
01:01:03
Speaker
See y'all next week.
01:01:06
Speaker
Bye.
01:01:06
Speaker
Bye.