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Ep 8 - The REAL return to work
112 Plays5 months ago
Entrepreneurship and motherhood: the two hardest jobs we’ve ever signed up for. In this episode, we’re getting raw about what it actually looked like to return to work postpartum while exclusively nursing, bringing babies to the office, and juggling business with sleepless nights. We share what worked, what nearly broke us, and why sometimes survival means creating your own rules — whether that’s structuring work blocks around feeding schedules, building makeshift nurseries at the office, or even starting your own co-op. If you’ve ever wondered how moms make it all work (or don’t), this one’s for you.
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Transcript
Intro
Natalie's Mobile Podcasting Setup
00:00:51
Felicia Devine
Hello and welcome back to episode eight.
00:00:54
Natalie Richards
Hello, Felicia.
00:00:55
Felicia Devine
Hi, Natalie. i see I see you're in a different seat again.
00:00:56
Natalie Richards
Episode eight.
00:01:00
Natalie Richards
Yet again, i have – okay, so now I have set up a podcasting bag that has all of my equipment and it's just in one little tote bag.
00:01:07
Felicia Devine
oh
00:01:12
Natalie Richards
And now i can podcast, yeah, I can podcast from anywhere.
00:01:13
Felicia Devine
And it goes with you.
Transporting Equipment Challenges
00:01:17
Natalie Richards
So now I'm in my office because, yeah, we've been at the lake.
00:01:19
Felicia Devine
Welcome to Revive.
00:01:22
Natalie Richards
We have a little spot at the lake. We have a little spot at home. we have a little spot at the office.
00:01:28
Felicia Devine
Meanwhile, I've never moved.
00:01:29
Natalie Richards
Next time my car is probably going to be where going to podcast
00:01:33
Felicia Devine
No, we need to talk about the weight of these mic stands.
00:01:37
Natalie Richards
from. Okay. They are so heavy.
00:01:39
Felicia Devine
I went to take it. I had to take it to my office the other day for a photo shoot. And it literally, the bag kept toppling over because this stand is 300 pounds.
00:01:49
Natalie Richards
It is. And it still sometimes doesn't hold.
00:01:52
Felicia Devine
no
00:01:52
Natalie Richards
if If you like pull the mic out too far, it still doesn't hold.
00:01:55
Felicia Devine
Yeah, it still topples. It's the heaviest thing.
00:01:56
Natalie Richards
So funny. It is.
00:01:58
Felicia Devine
So I commend you for carrying the stand around to different states.
00:02:01
Natalie Richards
Yep. I've got it. I've got it like figured out at this point. So no, it's not a really bag.
00:02:05
Felicia Devine
Wait, do you rolly bag?
00:02:08
Natalie Richards
It's just like a little, have right here.
00:02:10
Felicia Devine
and need ah ah I need a rolly bag. I think I want to go back to rolly backpacks.
00:02:12
Natalie Richards
It's like the tiniest bag, but This is
00:02:18
Felicia Devine
How does the mic stand fit in that?
00:02:20
Natalie Richards
It goes right in the bottom. I like take the microphone off. I untwist it off every time.
00:02:24
Felicia Devine
OK.
00:02:26
Natalie Richards
And then i like suck down the mic thing so that it's.
00:02:30
Felicia Devine
You like telescope it down. OK.
00:02:32
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah. And then it sits. That goes in first. Yeah.
00:02:35
Felicia Devine
Those straps are putting in so much work.
00:02:37
Natalie Richards
And then the my headphones go in next and goes like right in there. And then the light goes in next and goes right in the next little section. And then all the cords get put in the little pocket.
00:02:49
Natalie Richards
And then my computer slides in the side and then we're done.
00:02:49
Felicia Devine
Oh my gosh.
00:02:53
Natalie Richards
It's actually amazing.
00:02:53
Felicia Devine
Wow. Wow. Well, when I start podcasting on the go, I'll have to take that into consideration.
00:03:00
Natalie Richards
So far you're working really well from right there.
00:03:03
Felicia Devine
So far, I haven't had to leave my house.
00:03:08
Felicia Devine
But that might change. Oh, you're muted.
00:03:13
Natalie Richards
Okay, I touched the wrong thing.
00:03:13
Felicia Devine
There we go.
Entrepreneurship and Motherhood
00:03:16
Felicia Devine
Hi. Okay.
00:03:16
Felicia Devine
so today's episode is going to be about entrepreneurship and motherhood. Smushed together.
00:03:24
Natalie Richards
Yeah, both of them, all together. Mm-hmm.
00:03:26
Felicia Devine
All together. And how we both, so we're going to talk about how we did our like return to work postpartum.
00:03:33
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:03:33
Felicia Devine
How we navigated timelines, child care slash bringing babies to work.
00:03:40
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:03:41
Felicia Devine
We both exclusively nursed while full back at work.
00:03:43
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:03:44
Felicia Devine
we're going talk about a little bit about that flow and what worked best for us.
00:03:50
Natalie Richards
Yeah. We were so lucky, so lucky to be able to do that because I know like it's a really, really, it weighs very heavily on a lot of moms on like how do i
00:03:51
Felicia Devine
To give you an example of that.
00:03:55
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:04:04
Natalie Richards
physically, logistically do this motherhood stuff?
00:04:05
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:04:09
Natalie Richards
like How do i go to work and breastfeed and you know adequately spend time with my baby and like and still make money?
00:04:14
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:04:17
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:04:19
Natalie Richards
generation really our generation is really ah We're pulling out of it. But I think the past like ah ah couple like generation or two, like are when we were born, it was very like, okay, a lot of moms worked.
00:04:26
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:04:31
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:04:34
Natalie Richards
a lot of You just did. You just go to daycare and you you send your kids to daycare. You work a full-time job. You figure it out.
00:04:42
Felicia Devine
and
00:04:43
Natalie Richards
And I think now, thankfully, our culture is set up slightly different for some people where you can at least do part-time you can figure it out.
00:04:49
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:04:55
Natalie Richards
You don't have to go like all or nothing, even though my my belief still is actually that I think moms should be home with their babies at the beginning.
00:04:57
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:05:06
Natalie Richards
Oops.
00:05:06
Felicia Devine
I think we should sell our practices.
00:05:07
Natalie Richards
Oops.
00:05:10
Natalie Richards
if i Okay, truly, if I didn't own my business, like I would have not been working.
00:05:12
Felicia Devine
My advice, sell off. Yeah.
00:05:16
Natalie Richards
I can 1 million percent say that.
00:05:16
Felicia Devine
No, same. agree.
00:05:19
Natalie Richards
like I would have been like, screw this.
00:05:19
Felicia Devine
I agree.
00:05:21
Natalie Richards
This is ridiculous.
00:05:21
Felicia Devine
I agree.
00:05:22
Natalie Richards
like I'll take a couple years off of work.
00:05:24
Felicia Devine
I agree.
00:05:25
Natalie Richards
1 million percent. So...
00:05:27
Felicia Devine
I think I would have done the same. I would have not returned to work.
00:05:31
Natalie Richards
Absolutely. Like maybe five years down the road. Maybe.
00:05:35
Felicia Devine
Five years after my last baby.
00:05:36
Natalie Richards
Except for now I'm getting like into like, okay, now I'm going homeschool. Like What what do I
00:05:41
Felicia Devine
Gotta take five more years off.
00:05:43
Natalie Richards
so So if I didn't own my business, I absolutely would not have been working because I would have figured it out.
00:05:51
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:05:53
Natalie Richards
Like I would have, you figure it out. You just do.
00:05:55
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:05:56
Natalie Richards
Because I think I truly do think that that's the best thing for kids.
00:05:56
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:05:59
Natalie Richards
But second best thing was what we did probably, which was come back pretty part time.
00:06:00
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:06:03
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:06:06
Natalie Richards
i I guess I'll start with my story.
00:06:08
Felicia Devine
Yeah. You went first and you kind of paved the way. You actually were the one that inspired me to act like bring set to work. So your story is the origin story.
00:06:17
Natalie Richards
I'm sorry.
00:06:20
Felicia Devine
Regrets.
00:06:22
Natalie Richards
it was great, honestly, like for the most part.
00:06:24
Felicia Devine
No, was. It was. Yeah.
00:06:26
Natalie Richards
It's just as they get older, it gets a little hairy.
00:06:26
Felicia Devine
Okay. Okay.
00:06:30
Felicia Devine
Yeah. And I'll tell you, like, I'm in right now.
00:06:31
Natalie Richards
The whole thing is a little hairy. yeah Yeah, you are.
00:06:33
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:06:34
Natalie Richards
You're at the point where I would have said, okay, i'm done so
00:06:34
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:06:39
Natalie Richards
i I was insane and I went back to work four weeks postpartum. ah ah But that's just like what I had planned.
00:06:46
Felicia Devine
That's wild. Yeah.
00:06:48
Natalie Richards
like i just but But I made that conscious choice to not hire fill-in doc because i just – I don't know what it was.
00:06:49
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:06:55
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:06:58
Natalie Richards
At the time, i just – that's one other thing that I cannot add to my plate to try and figure out. who is going to be who do I trust enough to come in run my practice basically while I still have, I don't know, it just, it didn't make any sense to me.
00:07:09
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
00:07:15
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:07:16
Natalie Richards
And I, we adjust in a very different way. You and I do.
00:07:18
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:07:19
Natalie Richards
So I, to have have somebody come in that I couldn't like adequately train to do what I was doing, it would have been like, none of my patients would have come in anyway.
00:07:19
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:07:22
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:07:25
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:07:30
Felicia Devine
Now.
00:07:30
Natalie Richards
it It would have been a completely different adjusting experience.
00:07:33
Natalie Richards
And I just didn't even,
00:07:33
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:07:34
Natalie Richards
I didn't feel like I needed to do that.
00:07:36
Felicia Devine
Mm-mm.
00:07:37
Natalie Richards
So I decided I was going to take four weeks off. I was going to be gone for a month. People were just going to have to deal with it.
00:07:43
Felicia Devine
And you you told your your patients ahead of time that you were taking a month off and you would see them on this date.
00:07:47
Natalie Richards
Yes. Yes. And then they had options.
00:07:49
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:07:50
Natalie Richards
Like if they really needed to go see someone, they had a cup they could just text me and I would give them give them an option of where to go.
00:07:56
Felicia Devine
An office. Yeah.
00:07:59
Natalie Richards
So most people I knew at that point were going to be fine with it. I also didn't take new patients.
00:08:04
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:08:06
Natalie Richards
like a couple months before before having genes.
00:08:08
Felicia Devine
Oh, okay.
00:08:10
Natalie Richards
So like all my patients were pretty established.
00:08:11
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:08:13
Natalie Richards
They were not in like acute episodes of pain. it was very It was going to be very tolerable. And for the most part, it was totally fine. I think there was one person that was like, man, I really wish you would ah ah would have been here two weeks ago.
00:08:22
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:08:27
Natalie Richards
And I go, well, I wasn't.
00:08:27
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:08:28
Natalie Richards
I'm so sorry.
00:08:30
Felicia Devine
Sorry, I was still wearing diapers.
00:08:31
Natalie Richards
Four weeks isn't good for you. Okay, cool.
00:08:35
Felicia Devine
Let me guess that was a man.
00:08:36
Natalie Richards
Yes. How did you know?
00:08:41
Felicia Devine
The insensitivity of it.
00:08:43
Natalie Richards
Okay. So I came back at four weeks. I personally felt great. So i i i do think if I didn't feel good, I would have postponed a little bit longer.
00:08:48
Felicia Devine
Okay. Okay.
00:08:53
Natalie Richards
But I actually, even at two weeks, the iron the ironic part was that I was sitting there at two weeks. I was like, I could absolutely work right now, like 1 million percent.
00:09:02
Felicia Devine
Okay. You're rare bird because that is so not normal postpartum.
00:09:05
Natalie Richards
I know. It was so not normal. So not normal.
00:09:08
Felicia Devine
Mm-mm.
00:09:10
Natalie Richards
I also knew, I think I said this in another another podcast, I knew I had to have my routines like down.
00:09:16
Felicia Devine
Mm-mm.
00:09:16
Natalie Richards
Like I had to have breastfeeding established. I knew I needed to rest adequately in those first, the first week. i had to force myself.
00:09:27
Felicia Devine
This is not advice. This is just Natalie's experience.
00:09:29
Natalie Richards
No, no. This is just me. This is just me. I would not tell anyone to be like this. But I was listening to my body. I was making sure I wasn't having excessive bleeding. I wasn't like increasing any strain on my body. i felt When I tell you I felt good, I felt so good.
00:09:47
Natalie Richards
Like by day three postpartum, I was like, all right, where's Pilates?
00:09:47
Felicia Devine
okay yeah.
00:09:51
Natalie Richards
Like get it.
00:09:54
Felicia Devine
We...
00:09:54
Natalie Richards
or We could not be any different.
00:09:56
Felicia Devine
I literally cannot relate. cannot relate.
00:10:01
Natalie Richards
I know.
00:10:02
Felicia Devine
We are going to lose a lot of followers if we don't have the the duality of our experiences.
00:10:07
Natalie Richards
Insane. Like thinking back to it, I'm like, that was crazy.
00:10:12
Felicia Devine
the
00:10:13
Natalie Richards
i don't think my body now could have could could do that truthfully.
00:10:13
Felicia Devine
I love it.
00:10:17
Natalie Richards
But because I like i did Pilates until 37 weeks, like I i've really only had like a couple weeks there where I was like not doing it.
00:10:25
Felicia Devine
who
00:10:25
Natalie Richards
and And I'm like, oh, I could totally go back.
00:10:26
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:10:27
Natalie Richards
I didn't, but I could. Um, so i had to have everything really, really set. So i was spending those four weeks off getting ready to get out of the house, like getting him packed up on my own, like making sure that I could do everything on my own and get into actually like a, every, what did I do?
00:10:51
Natalie Richards
Every three hours nursing was what I was trying to get to by the end of those four weeks.
00:10:54
Felicia Devine
Okay. Mm-hmm.
00:10:57
Natalie Richards
And I pretty much did. Like three hours was a stretch for him at that point because he was he was really wanting to nurse every like two and a half probably.
00:11:00
Felicia Devine
Yeah. OK.
00:11:05
Natalie Richards
But um three was what we just had to do.
00:11:08
Natalie Richards
So I set up my schedule to be two hour blocks on the days that I was in the office.
00:11:14
Felicia Devine
okay
00:11:15
Natalie Richards
My mom came to the office, which was really nice. So she came, think I was only working like, I started out at two days a week and then I moved to three days a week, I'm pretty sure.
00:11:19
Felicia Devine
and
00:11:25
Felicia Devine
okay
00:11:28
Natalie Richards
I would do, think I did three two-hour blocks. So they were long days, like really long days.
00:11:31
Felicia Devine
Okay. and hey
00:11:34
Natalie Richards
so
00:11:35
Felicia Devine
Because in that between the two hour blocks was an hour.
00:11:38
Natalie Richards
was an hour.
00:11:39
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:11:39
Natalie Richards
So I would be nursing, eating something during, and my mom would bring food for me.
00:11:39
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:11:44
Natalie Richards
It was really nice.
00:11:45
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:11:46
Natalie Richards
those, those times that she was there. So I would get there an hour early, nurse him, work for two hours, nurse him, work for two hours,
00:11:59
Natalie Richards
i do I can't remember if I did two blocks or three blocks. I must have done three. God, it was long.
00:12:05
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:12:05
Natalie Richards
Thinking back, I'm like, why the hell did I ever do that?
00:12:08
Felicia Devine
Yeah, that's crazy.
00:12:08
Natalie Richards
And then I did another working block then. and then an hour after to feed him again, we then had an hour drive back home. I think I was gone literally for 12 hours.
00:12:23
Felicia Devine
That's insane.
00:12:24
Natalie Richards
Insane. An hour drive, hour before work, and then all the whole work day, hour after hour drive home.
00:12:28
Felicia Devine
The whole workday.
00:12:32
Natalie Richards
like It was truly like 8 to 8 by the time I would be back at home.
00:12:36
Felicia Devine
Wow.
00:12:38
Natalie Richards
But I did that three days a week. I made it work. It was super stressful. I would not do that again, truthfully.
00:12:44
Felicia Devine
here
00:12:44
Natalie Richards
I really don't think I would.
00:12:45
Felicia Devine
No.
00:12:46
Felicia Devine
What would you do differently?
00:12:47
Natalie Richards
I think I would –
00:12:50
Natalie Richards
As much as i don't I wouldn't want to work more days, i think I would probably spread it up spread it out into like four days.
00:12:56
Felicia Devine
Oh, you're saying you would still bring him, but you wouldn't work as long of stretches.
00:12:58
Natalie Richards
i would still bring him. Yeah.
00:13:01
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:13:01
Natalie Richards
Because it was it just got to be very taxing. And we got used to leaving the house. Like I left the house every day anyway, so why couldn't I have just...
00:13:10
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:13:10
Natalie Richards
gone to work four days instead of three. I don't know. So I would probably do that a little different, but it worked out. It worked.
Bringing Baby to Work
00:13:16
Natalie Richards
It was good. And I had him there, i think, for six months.
00:13:19
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:13:20
Natalie Richards
So every day for six months. And then I kind of like dabbled back and forth where my mom would have him at her house. I would go there during my break and feed him and then come back to work.
00:13:31
Felicia Devine
Oh my gosh.
00:13:33
Natalie Richards
So we kind of, I did a bunch of different things during that time. But Once he got to like six, seven months, he was a little too loud for the massage therapist, truthfully. So it was just kind of like one of those things he just had to get out of here.
00:13:44
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:13:47
Natalie Richards
so
00:13:47
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Now you had a, you had a separate room at the office as a nursery, right? With like a crib and a rocking chair and like all that.
00:13:52
Natalie Richards
huh Yep.
00:13:54
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:13:54
Natalie Richards
Dresser, changing table, all that stuff. So he really spent most of his time in there. My mom also, he really, he had to contact Nat pretty much the entirety of his life.
00:14:00
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:14:06
Natalie Richards
So he What the heck was that noise? My phone just made a really strange noise.
00:14:12
Felicia Devine
who
00:14:14
Natalie Richards
So my mom would put him in a baby carrier for six months and walk around the building here every nap that he had to take.
00:14:19
Felicia Devine
Oh my goodness.
00:14:23
Natalie Richards
Eventually, finally, I think at like five or six months, he finally would allow you to like set him down on something, but that was it.
00:14:28
Felicia Devine
Transfer.
00:14:30
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:31
Natalie Richards
And that's what I did too for every single nap that he had. We were walking for many, many months and it worked out.
00:14:37
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:14:38
Natalie Richards
It was great. I loved, I loved that part, but that was our normal.
00:14:41
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:14:42
Natalie Richards
It's just, I think mainly because I didn't, it was easier for me to do that than put the effort into like spending an hour trying to get him to lay down somewhere.
00:14:43
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:14:51
Natalie Richards
So I just said, okay, you're going in the carrier and you're going to go to sleep and it worked great.
00:14:52
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:14:54
Felicia Devine
Yeah. And it worked for you.
00:14:56
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:14:56
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:14:57
Natalie Richards
So i I was more so – it was more so out of laziness that I did that.
00:15:03
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:15:04
Natalie Richards
Pure laziness. um And then, yeah, he he's been at my mom's multiple days pretty much ever since. Now he's kind of down to like one day there and then we have like a babysitter or Kyle on the other days.
00:15:11
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:15:19
Natalie Richards
But I loved having him here.
00:15:19
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:15:21
Natalie Richards
I thought it was great. that My patients loved it.
00:15:22
Felicia Devine
Yeah. and
00:15:24
Natalie Richards
It was so fun that everybody would come in and see him. I think it made him very social because he got to meet and see so many different faces. And he's just used to that now.
00:15:35
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:15:35
Natalie Richards
So for us, it worked. Again, ideally, I wouldn't have been working at all.
00:15:42
Felicia Devine
Perfect world. We're not going back to work.
00:15:45
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:15:45
Natalie Richards
But I think it was great.
00:15:47
Felicia Devine
No, I totally agree. ah ah yeah I feel like I would do the same.
00:15:51
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:15:51
Felicia Devine
Like, I don't know. But, okay, so are there any other tidbits that you want to share about your experience or how you did it or if other people are listening and want to bring their kid to work?
00:15:56
Natalie Richards
here
00:16:00
Natalie Richards
I'm trying to remember.
00:16:05
Natalie Richards
trying to remember some of like the details of all of that.
00:16:09
Felicia Devine
I mean, it was a while ago.
00:16:09
Natalie Richards
He was – at least for like for us, he was a really he took a really long time to feed. so Some people don't need a full hour probably, to but he really – he needed that, especially not being with me for those like few hours in between.
00:16:15
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:16:19
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:16:27
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:16:27
Natalie Richards
he really he was really an attached baby, which was mean, that's a good thing. You kind of want your baby to be attached you.
00:16:32
Felicia Devine
Right. Attached to you.
00:16:37
Natalie Richards
I probably, i just think I would have i would have put less less, ideally less stress on myself.
00:16:37
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:16:44
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:16:44
Natalie Richards
Ideally, i would have had an associate before that point, but I didn't.
00:16:48
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:16:48
Natalie Richards
I got slapped in the face with this pregnancy. So I to, I kind of just made it work.
00:16:51
Felicia Devine
who
00:16:54
Felicia Devine
Bite the bullet.
00:16:54
Natalie Richards
Like if I was actually planning something, this out, I would have had an associate that was trained and then I could truly like just dabble with working coming back and just say like, okay, I'm just going to work a few shifts a week.
00:17:06
Felicia Devine
and
00:17:09
Natalie Richards
That would have been amazing.
00:17:11
Felicia Devine
hey
00:17:11
Natalie Richards
But i so I really got burned out really fast. I think that's the beginning of my issues was that I got so burned out and he really – even though we were co-sleeping, like he really was not an amazing sleeper for the first year and a half of his life.
00:17:26
Felicia Devine
and here Right.
00:17:28
Natalie Richards
So like he was up multiple times a night. I was up multiple times a night trying to make that work. So I was really, really tired.
00:17:39
Natalie Richards
And then I would have to wake up at, you know, seven o'clock, which is seven o'clock is but like not if you haven't slept all night. So have to get out of the house and do all, it was just like this hamster wheel.
00:17:52
Natalie Richards
So I definitely overstressed myself and I would have, I would have redone my schedule a little bit if I had to do it again.
00:17:53
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:17:56
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:01
Natalie Richards
Because that was, it definitely drained me.
00:18:04
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:18:04
Natalie Richards
Definitely.
00:18:04
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:18:05
Natalie Richards
But I just was pushing through.
00:18:05
Felicia Devine
Very taxing. Yeah. You were wearing a lot hats.
00:18:07
Natalie Richards
But those were things that I wish I didn't have to push through, i think, looking back.
00:18:10
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:13
Natalie Richards
So, but here we are.
00:18:13
Felicia Devine
yeah Yeah.
00:18:15
Felicia Devine
Well, you kind of like,
00:18:15
Natalie Richards
Now I'm sleeping and finally, three years later, he's finally not in bed with me.
00:18:20
Felicia Devine
we're sleeping. Jeans at your mom's house. Yeah.
00:18:25
Natalie Richards
Like things are finally after year three.
00:18:25
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:18:29
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:18:29
Natalie Richards
Now I can finally think a little bit.
00:18:32
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:18:33
Natalie Richards
I feel like my brain's not depleted anymore.
00:18:33
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:18:36
Natalie Richards
Um, Um, my body doesn't feel depleted anymore. Like I can work out and not have like debilitating soreness.
00:18:43
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:18:43
Natalie Richards
Like we're, we're getting to the point that we're thriving. So yeah.
00:18:46
Felicia Devine
OK, good.
00:18:47
Natalie Richards
And now I just, I had like a horrific thought of like, oh my God, this is like when people have another baby and I'm like, oh, can't do, I don't think I can, I just cannot do this whole process again.
00:19:00
Natalie Richards
So I would have to completely change my entire life.
00:19:00
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:19:04
Natalie Richards
okay, it Revive's getting sold.
00:19:04
Felicia Devine
Approach.
00:19:09
Natalie Richards
And that would be so sad because like that, this is like my first baby.
00:19:10
Felicia Devine
Yeah. It would. This was like your first baby. Yeah.
00:19:14
Natalie Richards
This is, I could never, and that's also why I didn't want to not work. Like I like working. I love it.
00:19:20
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:19:21
Natalie Richards
So i I felt very torn during those times because I was like, I feel like my real baby is like taking me away from my practice, baby,
00:19:30
Felicia Devine
Fake baby.
00:19:33
Natalie Richards
because I really love it
00:19:35
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:19:36
Natalie Richards
So it but to be it got to be very tough for me to balance both.
00:19:37
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:19:41
Natalie Richards
And I did it, but I didn't love it.
00:19:41
Felicia Devine
here Yeah.
00:19:44
Natalie Richards
I didn't love either part at that time. that makes sense. Like i the mothering was taking me away from work and then the work was taking me away from mothering and it just was like not really working, but ah ah it did work.
00:19:48
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:19:51
Felicia Devine
Practice. Work with seeking.
00:19:56
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:58
Natalie Richards
It was fine.
00:19:59
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:00
Natalie Richards
So
00:20:01
Felicia Devine
No, I get that. I feel the same. But my journey back to work was very different.
00:20:05
Natalie Richards
yours was very different.
Felicia's Maternity Leave Strategy
00:20:06
Natalie Richards
So let's talk about it.
00:20:07
Felicia Devine
Okay. so I should start with the fact that I did hire an associate many moons before I even got pregnant.
00:20:17
Felicia Devine
And that was my long-term goal. Like my long-term goal was to have multiple doctors in the practice, establish multiple employees so that when I did have a family, I could step away.
00:20:28
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:20:29
Felicia Devine
so that was lovely.
00:20:31
Natalie Richards
Ideal.
00:20:31
Felicia Devine
ideal. ideal. Um, my associate had her first baby 12 weeks before I had my baby,
00:20:39
Natalie Richards
That was the little blip in this this whole plan.
00:20:45
Felicia Devine
which is lovely because I got to do her maternity leave.
00:20:49
Natalie Richards
right
00:20:49
Felicia Devine
So when she was out on maternity leave, I covered the office for both staff or like both doctors and
00:20:56
Natalie Richards
And at that point you were actually feeling pretty good.
00:20:59
Felicia Devine
Oh yeah. i felt lovely during her coverage.
00:21:00
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:21:01
Felicia Devine
Like i I was very pregnant, but like I really didn't have any physical ailments.
00:21:01
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:21:04
Natalie Richards
Able.
00:21:07
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:21:08
Felicia Devine
I was really capable of doing that. But was also in your like sense of a way, not taking new patients prior to my leave because my books were so full with our established patients.
00:21:20
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:21:22
Felicia Devine
So like, I didn't really have to worry about acute care either when I was gone because I was covering her books, which filled in all my gaps.
00:21:30
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:21:32
Felicia Devine
So like, it kind of worked out where when I went on leave, I didn't have to leave anyone high and dry.
00:21:36
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:21:37
Felicia Devine
So when she returned back to work, she actually brought her baby for the first nine months. And that's her story to tell. Like, I'm not really going to go into details about that, but i
00:21:45
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:21:49
Felicia Devine
set up, we had a back room and I set up a nursery for both babies. So we kind of set it up. There was like a dividing curtain. There were two cribs, two cell machines, two monitors. but Like it was set up so that we were prepped for both babies.
00:22:03
Felicia Devine
Um, when I ended up coming back, both kids were there.
00:22:06
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:22:07
Felicia Devine
which was lovely. It, it, it was crazy.
00:22:08
Natalie Richards
it's amazing It's actually amazing.
00:22:10
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:22:10
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:22:10
Felicia Devine
It was like, it couldn't have worked. It truly couldn't worked out better because she came back to work, after her leave and we had a little bit of overlap to like redistribute patients so that she could phase back in And then I could start phasing out because like I was carrying two shifts and then I was able to, in the last few weeks of my pregnancy kind of tapered down again.
00:22:27
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:22:32
Felicia Devine
So it honestly couldn't have worked out better.
00:22:33
Natalie Richards
Perfect.
00:22:34
Felicia Devine
It was perfect.
00:22:34
Natalie Richards
So perfect.
00:22:36
Felicia Devine
she tapered back in I tapered back out. And then I was supposed to have like a week of like leave before I had him. and like take that time to kind of staycation, but that didn't happen. So she kind of abruptly went from like her phase in to like full on, she was covering my schedule.
00:22:54
Felicia Devine
So that was a little unfortunate on on her side.
00:22:54
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:22:57
Felicia Devine
Like I feel bad about that.
00:22:58
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Right.
00:23:00
Felicia Devine
But she like was a total rockstar because I had to cover her schedule when I was pregnant, which was like no big deal.
00:23:01
Natalie Richards
but She was able. Yeah.
00:23:05
Natalie Richards
huh
00:23:06
Felicia Devine
Cause i was sleeping well. I was just taking care of myself.
00:23:08
Natalie Richards
Right. Yeah.
00:23:10
Felicia Devine
Whereas when she phased back in,
00:23:12
Natalie Richards
You think it's really hard.
00:23:14
Felicia Devine
Yeah. I was like, oh my gosh, she was not only postpartum, she was caring for a newborn and covering two doctors. So she got, she got like whiplash into that and she handled it beautifully.
00:23:20
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:23:23
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:23:24
Felicia Devine
Like she really did ah an amazing job.
00:23:26
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:23:27
Felicia Devine
our retention for both our maternity leaves was like literally over 90%.
00:23:31
Natalie Richards
That's amazing.
00:23:32
Felicia Devine
Like, I don't, I mean, if we did lose people, it was probably because they phased out anyway.
00:23:37
Natalie Richards
anyway, right?
00:23:37
Felicia Devine
yeah.
00:23:39
Natalie Richards
It was people who were probably not going to come back anyway.
00:23:41
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:23:42
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:23:42
Felicia Devine
Right. So, um, worked out really, really well in our favor. So then I went,
00:23:46
Natalie Richards
Did you have a dedicated staff person that was just doing baby care or did you have like multiple people kind of floating?
00:23:53
Felicia Devine
so she had floaters. I hired on someone specifically.
00:24:00
Natalie Richards
Someone specifically.
00:24:01
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:24:01
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:02
Natalie Richards
That was the greatest thing about like my front desk too. Like she, she's like one of Jean's favorite people because like she spent so much time with him and it just was adorable.
00:24:03
Felicia Devine
so yeah.
00:24:08
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:24:10
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:24:13
Natalie Richards
It was so cute.
00:24:13
Felicia Devine
Yeah. No, like, Sep's nanny is, like, one of his favorite people.
00:24:18
Natalie Richards
huh
00:24:18
Felicia Devine
And I will literally never take that for granted because the way she cares for him and, like, treats him is just, like, so special.
00:24:21
Natalie Richards
h
00:24:25
Natalie Richards
So special.
00:24:26
Felicia Devine
you can tell because he, like, adores her.
00:24:29
Natalie Richards
yeah
00:24:29
Felicia Devine
So when I returned back to work – so you took four weeks. I took 10. ten And at 10 weeks, I was still a disaster.
00:24:34
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:24:38
Natalie Richards
Which let me just say that is not very much time still, okay?
00:24:39
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:24:43
Natalie Richards
Like two and a half months is not very long in the whole scheme of things.
00:24:47
Felicia Devine
I was like still, yeah, not good. Like I was still in very much a lot of pain myself, but then also like Giuseppe had a really tough first few months.
00:24:52
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:24:56
Natalie Richards
Let's talk.
00:24:56
Felicia Devine
Like, yeah, no, we didn't really, no.
00:24:56
Natalie Richards
Can we talk about that a little bit? Because I don't think we've – have we touched – we didn't really to talk about that at all.
00:25:03
Felicia Devine
So Giuseppe was born at six pounds, six ounces. And then he dropped a significant amount of weight, like really fast. So he dropped like to five, eight.
00:25:12
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:25:15
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:25:16
Felicia Devine
Yeah. yeah.
00:25:17
Natalie Richards
Within what, like that first week? Oh.
00:25:21
Felicia Devine
And then i so I was establishing nursing and doing all those things.
00:25:23
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:25:25
Natalie Richards
You had so much trauma.
00:25:27
Felicia Devine
and then
00:25:28
Natalie Richards
you're We're essentially dealing with like post-C-section trauma and like blood loss and all of that stuff.
00:25:35
Felicia Devine
yeah.
00:25:36
Natalie Richards
So like your body doesn't kick in
00:25:37
Felicia Devine
Well, and like, I was on full bed rest.
00:25:41
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:25:41
Felicia Devine
Like I couldn't leave my upstairs for a week.
00:25:44
Felicia Devine
Like she was like, you cannot do stairs because the shifting of like your pelvis when you go downstairs, like would shift your incisions.
00:25:44
Natalie Richards
Oh, right.
00:25:50
Natalie Richards
Oh my God. Yeah.
00:25:53
Felicia Devine
Like I literally was like, I was locked in my bedroom for a week, which is not good for your A, mental health, B, physical health.
00:25:53
Natalie Richards
Oh my God.
00:25:57
Natalie Richards
Right. Right.
00:26:00
Felicia Devine
It was necessary for the incision to heal. Like I totally get it.
00:26:02
Natalie Richards
Yeah, but for everything else.
00:26:03
Felicia Devine
i I'm not discounting that, but like, yeah, that was tough.
00:26:07
Natalie Richards
Horrible.
00:26:07
Felicia Devine
It was really tough.
00:26:09
Natalie Richards
Okay. So your milk, do you remember what day your milk came in?
00:26:10
Felicia Devine
So yeah, my milk came in within the first two days.
00:26:14
Natalie Richards
Oh, it did. Okay, cool.
00:26:14
Felicia Devine
Yeah. But he would take, you said like Jean was a long nurser. Like I feel that to the core because, and this like in hindsight, I think I would do things maybe a little differently and like seek a little bit more help.
00:26:26
Felicia Devine
But like, I'm not exaggerating when I say it would take two hours to do a feeding for, he would stay, he would nurse for like 45 minutes on the first side.
00:26:27
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:26:31
Natalie Richards
Wow. Would he unlatch or he just would stay latched for two hours?
00:26:39
Natalie Richards
wow i remember this now yeah
00:26:39
Felicia Devine
diaper change, 45 minutes on the second side. it like It truly was two-hour ordeal every single time we nursed. And like it just was really taxing. We had a lactation consultant come out and like that just like didn't really help.
00:26:59
Natalie Richards
i remember that yeah mm-hmm mm-hmm
00:27:00
Felicia Devine
He was super colicky. So we started driving over an hour to go get body work two days a week. And
00:27:09
Natalie Richards
This was all within his first like couple months.
00:27:12
Felicia Devine
Oh yeah. Cause I was still driving out an hour to do body work after I returned to work.
00:27:13
Natalie Richards
Yeah, because you were dead.
00:27:16
Natalie Richards
Oh, God.
00:27:17
Felicia Devine
It was like ridiculous.
00:27:19
Natalie Richards
Wild.
00:27:20
Felicia Devine
but he needed it. And like, we were doing the best that we could.
00:27:21
Natalie Richards
Yeah, he did.
00:27:23
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:27:24
Felicia Devine
and he was getting like significant results doing that.
00:27:27
Natalie Richards
So like at the beginning, was he not – like he didn't have a strong enough pull.
00:27:27
Felicia Devine
yeah.
00:27:32
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:27:33
Felicia Devine
He would – his latch was, like, literally picture perfect.
00:27:35
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:27:36
Felicia Devine
Like, wide mouth, nose to nipple – or, like, nose to breast, like, chin to breast.
00:27:39
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:27:41
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:27:41
Felicia Devine
–
00:27:41
Natalie Richards
There was something just going on with the strength of like jaw and tongue.
00:27:44
Felicia Devine
He didn't have the draw.
00:27:45
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:27:45
Felicia Devine
Yeah. He was eating enough in a feeding, but it would take forever. And I was like totally fine with it because I was like, I'm willing to sit here so that you can nurse.
00:27:53
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Sure.
00:27:55
Felicia Devine
Like I wasn't trying to rush him.
00:27:56
Natalie Richards
no
00:27:56
Felicia Devine
Like some people can nurse in like 15 to 20 minutes once they're established.
00:27:59
Natalie Richards
I know it's amazing.
00:28:00
Felicia Devine
It's like truly phenomenal.
00:28:02
Natalie Richards
I never experienced that.
00:28:04
Felicia Devine
That was never – like we're we're now to the point where like it will take him like 15 to 20 minutes to nurse.
00:28:05
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:28:09
Felicia Devine
And I'm like –
00:28:10
Natalie Richards
Thank God.
00:28:11
Felicia Devine
A breeze, an absolute breeze.
00:28:12
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:28:13
Felicia Devine
So I'm like so thrilled we stuck through it.
00:28:13
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:28:15
Felicia Devine
But it was probably six to eight months before we really nailed breastfeeding.
00:28:22
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:28:23
Felicia Devine
I remember even being at work crying tears, like literal tears in between patients when I was nursing him because he was like taking too long.
00:28:26
Natalie Richards
Oh, no. Yeah. Taking so long and you had to go.
00:28:33
Felicia Devine
And or he like wouldn't want to nurse. He wouldn't want a nurse when I had that like gap.
00:28:38
Natalie Richards
yes
00:28:39
Felicia Devine
And feeling so much pressure and guilt. And I mean, for the most part, it was pretty well, so like determined, but like, okay, so we get to the 10 weeks that I'm going to return.
00:28:41
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:28:46
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:28:50
Felicia Devine
And I had pre-set up shifts where I was working like either ah ah half day or a three quarter day.
00:28:57
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:28:58
Felicia Devine
Similar to you, I would see patients for two hours and then I would nurse for an hour, but like that hour wasn't enough.
00:29:02
Natalie Richards
But that wasn't enough. Yeah. So then you're pressured trying to like get to your next shift.
00:29:06
Felicia Devine
And I'm like, so stressed. Yes.
00:29:08
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:29:09
Felicia Devine
It was a lot because it truly like wasn't enough. And then sometimes i would nurse him and then he would nap and then he wouldn't wake up in time for his next nursing session.
00:29:15
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:29:18
Felicia Devine
So then we would have to wake him up.
00:29:21
Natalie Richards
I know.
00:29:21
Felicia Devine
So it was a lot. It was truly a lot. And like, honestly, to the world, I feel like, and I could be wrong, but I felt like I was putting a good foot forward and showing up for my patients. I truly was.
00:29:35
Felicia Devine
But
00:29:35
Natalie Richards
absolutely
00:29:36
Felicia Devine
I could have been naive in the sense that like I, I could.
00:29:38
Natalie Richards
But you your body takes a backseat because you're like, okay, I'm focusing on making sure my baby has what he needs and what also taking care of all of these other people.
00:29:41
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:29:49
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:29:50
Natalie Richards
and then you kind of are are just like, okay, I guess I can do it, but like until I can't.
00:29:53
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:29:55
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:29:55
Felicia Devine
Right. And I had a lot of guilt associated with the fact that my associate carried so much of the load
00:30:01
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:30:01
Felicia Devine
And she had a really tough postpartum too. And so I had a lot of guilt going into return to work because I was like, I have to take back my load.
00:30:03
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:30:08
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:30:09
Felicia Devine
I have to take back my responsibility and like be there for my employees. And like, there was some drama associated with like that and like people not feeling appreciated.
00:30:23
Felicia Devine
and like, I feel as though i was doing the best I could.
00:30:24
Natalie Richards
Sure.
00:30:29
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:30:29
Felicia Devine
But still, like you have a team of employees that are waiting for you to get back to work and like respond to emails and like do all these things.
00:30:30
Natalie Richards
But still, it's, I know.
00:30:34
Felicia Devine
And like it was hurtful to hear that.
00:30:38
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:30:39
Felicia Devine
But I was doing the literal most I could.
00:30:41
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:30:42
Felicia Devine
And like, yeah.
00:30:42
Natalie Richards
And healing yourself and in incredible amount of pain.
00:30:46
Felicia Devine
Yeah. it And like literally I couldn't sit.
00:30:47
Natalie Richards
and
00:30:51
Natalie Richards
yeah.
00:30:51
Felicia Devine
Like I truly couldn't sit because I was in so much pain. It hurt worse to sit than it did to stand.
00:30:57
Felicia Devine
So I would have meetings while standing.
00:31:00
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:31:01
Felicia Devine
would nurse standing. I was even nursing in a plank position, which sounds like absolutely wild, but to plank and have him, I had him on like the bed or a chair and I would kneel and plank over him and nurse him because I couldn't even sit.
00:31:03
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:31:08
Natalie Richards
felt better.
00:31:11
Natalie Richards
who
00:31:14
Natalie Richards
Wow. Wow.
00:31:18
Felicia Devine
It was like, it truly, it's like, it sounds wild just even coming out of my mouth.
00:31:22
Natalie Richards
Truly insane.
00:31:26
Felicia Devine
Like the struggle I had, i struggled now.
00:31:27
Natalie Richards
but All the things that you had to do. Yeah. I think a lot of it you're like in a different zone and like while you're doing it, you just do it.
00:31:30
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:36
Natalie Richards
But thinking back, you're like, what? Like I really tried hard.
00:31:39
Felicia Devine
yeah Yeah. And like, I think I still hold a lot of postpartum trauma or like birth trauma from being separated from him.
00:31:45
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yes.
00:31:47
Felicia Devine
And so like, I couldn't imagine, like you said, if I didn't own the practice, I would have not gone back to work.
00:31:49
Natalie Richards
Oh my gosh.
00:31:54
Felicia Devine
I, I still have a, I still have a really hard time leaving him.
00:31:55
Natalie Richards
Absolutely not.
00:31:58
Felicia Devine
He's almost this week. He'll be 16 months. And I have a really hard time being separated from him.
00:32:03
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:32:04
Felicia Devine
I think because of those first five hours I was separated.
00:32:05
Natalie Richards
Because you were forced to. Oh.
00:32:08
Felicia Devine
And so I have like ah strong, like maternal attachment to him, which again, like that is good.
00:32:14
Felicia Devine
Like
00:32:14
Natalie Richards
That's normal. Yeah, I know.
00:32:15
Felicia Devine
you need to be attached to your baby because attachment leads to like dependency or dependency leads to co-dependence, which leads to independence later on.
00:32:17
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:32:24
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:32:24
Felicia Devine
There's like a whole like neuro development of that.
00:32:26
Natalie Richards
yes
00:32:27
Felicia Devine
But I feel like as the maternal side, like my trauma has led to a lot of that like dependency, which I understand is like something I need to work through and I
Integrating Emotion Code into Practice
00:32:36
Felicia Devine
am trying to, but
00:32:36
Natalie Richards
You're making, yeah, you're making up for what you lost at the beginning. Okay.
00:32:41
Felicia Devine
but like
00:32:41
Natalie Richards
That small segue.
00:32:43
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Side note.
00:32:46
Natalie Richards
Side note. I just started doing this training. It's, have you heard of the emotion code or like the body code or belief code or whatever?
00:32:53
Felicia Devine
Yes. I don't know anything about it. I've heard of it.
00:32:55
Natalie Richards
Okay. So it's this, it's actually a chiropractor who, who like, he says it was sent down from God
00:32:58
Felicia Devine
Oh.
00:33:02
Natalie Richards
for him to like spread to the world, which I think like going through it, like maybe it is likely, highly likely.
00:33:04
Felicia Devine
To teach.
00:33:10
Natalie Richards
Okay. So like he had this knowledge or this, this inclination to start to like dive deeper into his patients. traumas and emotions and all this stuff. And it's basically like I already do muscle testing for organs and for like supplements and stuff.
00:33:29
Natalie Richards
It's essentially muscle testing to determine trapped emotions.
00:33:36
Felicia Devine
Oh.
00:33:36
Natalie Richards
and you ask the body a question. So like you have ah the patient would have their arm out. You ask the body a question you say, is this ailment that you have associated with a trapped emotion? And you say, and the body's either going to say yes or no. And the yes would be strength and the no would be weakness.
00:33:56
Natalie Richards
And while
00:33:56
Felicia Devine
Oh wait, no, opposite. Trapped emotion, yes.
00:33:59
Natalie Richards
Yes is technically, so like in this case, yes, like if I i can like ask my body, show me show me a yes.
00:34:00
Felicia Devine
Oh.
00:34:02
Felicia Devine
Oh.
00:34:06
Felicia Devine
Oh. Oh yeah, you taught me. Show me a yes.
00:34:09
Natalie Richards
And it's like slippery.
00:34:11
Felicia Devine
Slippery.
00:34:12
Natalie Richards
Show me a no. And it gets and it tacky.
00:34:14
Felicia Devine
Show me a no. And it gets tacky. Yeah.
00:34:17
Natalie Richards
So like that's, it's ah ah it's a different type of type of testing that that you're trying to achieve.
00:34:20
Felicia Devine
Okay. Okay.
00:34:22
Natalie Richards
So i'm I'm going through the process and I'm going to be an emotion code practitioner to like actually – so I can do it remotely apparently.
00:34:28
Felicia Devine
Wait, I need to do this.
00:34:31
Natalie Richards
I haven't gotten to that point of the of the training. It's a six-month sixmonth training.
00:34:34
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:34:36
Natalie Richards
It's insane.
00:34:37
Felicia Devine
Oh.
00:34:39
Natalie Richards
i but But like when I listened to this guy, i was like, i this is my missing piece.
00:34:40
Felicia Devine
Whoa. oh Okay.
00:34:44
Natalie Richards
Like this is what I need to add in to like fully, truly help people.
00:34:50
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:34:50
Natalie Richards
Where it's like, it's the patients who don't fully get better. They have like a chronicity that just is like, yeah.
00:34:56
Felicia Devine
Fibromyalgia.
00:34:58
Natalie Richards
Like it's those types of like non-acute problems where it's like, this is just me.
00:34:58
Felicia Devine
a
00:35:03
Natalie Richards
Like I always have this, like um it's not going away. Like that is typically a trapped emotion somehow affecting that person.
00:35:09
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:35:11
Natalie Richards
And we know that as chiropractors, like we know there's a psychological piece.
00:35:13
Felicia Devine
Great.
00:35:15
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:35:16
Natalie Richards
But like we don't have the ability to deal with that. And I don't even think traditional therapy, like talk therapy can even address the level that this does because it doesn't have to be in a conscious state.
00:35:21
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:35:25
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:35:29
Natalie Richards
Like you don't have to know what your trapped emotion is.
00:35:29
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm. Right.
00:35:32
Natalie Richards
your body will tell will tell me what that trapped emotion is.
00:35:33
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:35:35
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:35:36
Natalie Richards
You don't even have to remember the the circumstance around it.
00:35:39
Felicia Devine
Now, how do you treat it?
00:35:40
Natalie Richards
And then all you do is you clear it. you like You do a few different things.
00:35:43
Felicia Devine
oh Okay.
00:35:44
Natalie Richards
You either like swipe three times down the back or you use a magnet and you clear it out and your body creates a new neural pathway. creates a new neural pathway
00:35:52
Felicia Devine
Pathway?
00:35:54
Natalie Richards
And it then allows you to get it out. It's not that it's not there. It's not that you don't remember it. It's that you don't have to be stuck in that neural loop.
00:36:02
Felicia Devine
loop.
00:36:04
Natalie Richards
Wild. Like wild.
00:36:05
Felicia Devine
That might help me because I have stuck trauma in my right hip.
00:36:08
Natalie Richards
You feel like you're stuck. Exactly. So there's like, there's things that we can do and we can do it remotely apparently. So we'll do a session at some point when I'm, yes, when I'm done.
00:36:14
Felicia Devine
Oh, wait. You're on the podcast.
00:36:19
Natalie Richards
i like can't even wait.
00:36:19
Felicia Devine
Okay. We'll do it.
00:36:20
Natalie Richards
I have, I have so many people where I'm like,
00:36:21
Felicia Devine
Yes.
00:36:23
Natalie Richards
I need to do this on you and I cannot wait until I actually know what I'm doing to be able to use this.
00:36:25
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:36:28
Felicia Devine
I can't wait.
00:36:30
Natalie Richards
I'm so excited. And I'm excited because I already know how to do the muscle testing.
00:36:31
Felicia Devine
Okay.
00:36:34
Natalie Richards
I know how to like feel what I'm supposed to feel.
00:36:35
Felicia Devine
Yeah. You've been there.
00:36:37
Natalie Richards
So I'm really excited to add that piece. Okay. Anyway, i don't remember where we
00:36:41
Felicia Devine
Cool. Okay. So on episode 46, we're going to be doing Felicia's emotional code.
00:36:48
Natalie Richards
were. Releasing your trapped emotions.
00:36:51
Felicia Devine
Yeah. I don't know how long my body can wait, but I'll be patient.
00:36:54
Natalie Richards
I know. it We're coming up to the point where I can start practicing. So we'll practice very soon.
00:36:58
Felicia Devine
Oh, okay. We'll practice.
00:36:59
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:37:00
Felicia Devine
Okay. So 10 weeks comes and I'm ready to go back to work. So like I said, we kind of like established shifts so that I was working like either a half day or three quarter day.
00:37:11
Felicia Devine
And Giuseppe was with me. And like I said, we had someone at work that was specifically like four steps. the shifts that I was working. So she would like baby wear, change diapers, read to him, sunshine, tummy time.
00:37:28
Felicia Devine
Like it was like directed at like his development and like his phase of development.
00:37:31
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:37:34
Felicia Devine
so we did that for the first, literally after his first birthday, I was like, okay, now, so like 12 months.
00:37:43
Felicia Devine
So I'm Um, so then we shifted to half days home and she would come home and do half days at home and then either Dan or myself.
00:37:53
Natalie Richards
Oh. With the nanny.
00:37:56
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:37:56
Natalie Richards
oh Oh.
00:37:58
Felicia Devine
So he would do half days at home and then Dan or I would come at lunch, pick him up, and then we would all go to the office and then the nanny would meet us back at the office and we would do the afternoon at the office.
00:38:08
Natalie Richards
love that.
00:38:08
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Cause I just like hate pumping.
00:38:11
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:38:12
Felicia Devine
Again, i have a like i have an issue being apart from him. And so like even a half day was a little hard for me because before that, I'd never really spent...
00:38:22
Felicia Devine
I think I've missed bedtime like three times, four times now.
00:38:27
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:38:28
Felicia Devine
four I've missed four bedtimes in 16 months.
00:38:30
Natalie Richards
See, I can't relate to that. I was like, yeah, let me go away for four days.
00:38:32
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:38:35
Felicia Devine
Yeah, no. i don And I think it's like part of my trauma.
00:38:36
Natalie Richards
I was like, oh my God. Yeah, it is.
00:38:38
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:38:39
Natalie Richards
Yeah, you're so certainly stuck.
00:38:41
Felicia Devine
And he still nurses to sleep. So like, that's also a big component of like, I'm his bedtime.
00:38:47
Natalie Richards
Yeah, I know.
00:38:48
Felicia Devine
so I don't know. I mean, there's like a lot to unpack there, but it worked well for me to be able to have him with me at the office. Know that like a He was safe.
00:38:59
Felicia Devine
I was safe.
00:39:00
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:39:00
Felicia Devine
Again, like our patients love him. Like even now, like, so we don't really do half days at home anymore.
00:39:03
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:39:06
Felicia Devine
We're kind of, because he went to one nap, it was just like, there was a little bit of like a switch in his one nap.
00:39:08
Natalie Richards
Yeah. That's the thing you just essentially like shift around. And I remember now that you say that, I remember I did shift as time went on.
00:39:14
Felicia Devine
and
00:39:18
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:39:18
Natalie Richards
There were certain times that he was napping at a certain time. So yeah, I would move my shifts around to make it.
00:39:23
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:39:23
Natalie Richards
Thank God we can do that.
00:39:25
Felicia Devine
Right. Right. Yeah. So I now work two full days and a half day. And I have been on two full days and a half day since the beginning of the year. So like eight months now.
00:39:36
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:39:37
Felicia Devine
But we kind of brought him back full time into the office maybe like three months ago because he was taking only one nap and his one nap fell over my lunch hour.
00:39:45
Natalie Richards
Yep.
00:39:48
Felicia Devine
So I couldn't go home and get him. And I was like, well, I'm not ready to be away from him for a full day.
00:39:52
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:39:53
Felicia Devine
So we had to bring him back into the office full time, which is fine. Cause like, honestly, he does really well there. Like he's not, he's not freaking out if he can't be with me because he's used to it.
00:39:58
Natalie Richards
He's used to it.
00:40:02
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:40:03
Felicia Devine
And there's so many kids there for him to play with.
00:40:05
Natalie Richards
Exactly.
00:40:05
Felicia Devine
He eats like his breakfast and his lunch there. He plays with the kids. He gets to go outside.
00:40:10
Natalie Richards
He can take his nice long nap.
00:40:12
Felicia Devine
He can take his nap.
00:40:12
Natalie Richards
He's, yeah.
00:40:14
Felicia Devine
And he naps like so well at work. It's hysterical.
00:40:16
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:40:17
Felicia Devine
Like he'll take like two to three hour naps at work. And I'm just like, ah love that.
00:40:19
Natalie Richards
Wow. Amazing.
00:40:22
Felicia Devine
So he's integrated really well into the practice. And then we've recently had like a shift change and a schedule change. So like now i would say in the past, actually it started last week, he's going to be spending more time with my mother-in-law.
00:40:36
Natalie Richards
Oh, okay.
00:40:37
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Cause so, so his nanny went back to in person college.
00:40:38
Natalie Richards
Like, so what's it going to look like now?
00:40:44
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:40:45
Felicia Devine
So she's still working, but not the shifts that I'm working.
00:40:46
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:40:50
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:40:50
Felicia Devine
And so like, he'll still see her occasionally, but like mainly he's going to be with my mother-in-law all day Monday, which like last week was the full, the first time I spent a full shift with that like a full day without him.
00:41:02
Natalie Richards
Whoa.
00:41:03
Felicia Devine
It was crazy. but he like, I mean, obviously like loves my mother-in-law to death.
00:41:06
Natalie Richards
It's great. At this point, he's he's going to do better than you.
00:41:10
Felicia Devine
Yeah. i like Okay. Get this. The first day I go to leave him. So she shows up at the house. I go to leave him. He thinks I'm taking him away from her. So he's gripping onto her for life.
00:41:19
Natalie Richards
Oh.
00:41:23
Felicia Devine
And she's like, she's like not, she's staying with him.
00:41:26
Natalie Richards
yeah
00:41:27
Felicia Devine
He thinks I'm going to take him to work. So he's gripping onto him, her with dear life.
00:41:29
Natalie Richards
oh
00:41:31
Felicia Devine
Wouldn't even hug me goodbye. it was hysterical.
00:41:33
Natalie Richards
That's so great, actually.
00:41:35
Felicia Devine
So it's like, he's in great hands because he loves her.
00:41:37
Natalie Richards
Perfect.
00:41:38
Felicia Devine
And they have so much fun together. Like she's just very interactive, very hands-on, very like go outside and explore.
00:41:40
Natalie Richards
oh
00:41:45
Felicia Devine
I mean, I think they were outside like over half the day, which is great.
00:41:47
Natalie Richards
That's how my mom is with Gene too.
00:41:48
Felicia Devine
That's what he needs.
00:41:50
Natalie Richards
It's amazing. And I like i love him being over there because I know there's they're doing things.
00:41:51
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah. They're doing things.
00:41:56
Natalie Richards
They're outside.
00:41:56
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:41:57
Natalie Richards
They're gardening. They're cooking.
00:41:59
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:42:00
Natalie Richards
They're doing whatever whatever i'd be doing with him.
00:42:01
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Exactly. So he'll be with her full day Mondays and then my evening shifts on Wednesdays. And then, depending on what Thursday looks like, he might either be at work with me or like spending some time with her.
00:42:13
Felicia Devine
So like, it's like a big shift for me.
00:42:14
Natalie Richards
Love it.
00:42:15
Felicia Devine
I last week was like really hard.
00:42:17
Natalie Richards
yeah Oh, yeah.
00:42:19
Felicia Devine
It just emotionally. Cause I, I'm not used to having separation and even like the times, like at work when I would have been nursing, I'm pumping and I'm just like, Oh, this is hard.
00:42:28
Natalie Richards
Ugh, that's the hard part.
00:42:30
Felicia Devine
But I know for his development and like where he is, it does him better service being with my mother-in-law than like unattended at work.
00:42:36
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
00:42:40
Felicia Devine
So it was a, it was honestly a big shift for all of us at work. It was like pretty emotional.
00:42:43
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:42:45
Felicia Devine
But like I said, like he'll always have some piece of coming to work.
00:42:45
Natalie Richards
Oof.
00:42:49
Felicia Devine
I mean, yeah.
00:42:50
Natalie Richards
I know. Well, it will always be his happy place. Like Gene, he come he loves coming to the office.
00:42:52
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:42:55
Felicia Devine
and
00:42:56
Natalie Richards
So I'm actually now transitioning again also a little.
00:42:59
Felicia Devine
Again? Okay.
00:43:00
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Because I'm – again, it kind of came with like our babysitter's availability.
00:43:00
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:43:06
Natalie Richards
So she's getting a new job and I was like, okay, I'm just going to have to figure this out.
00:43:06
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:43:12
Natalie Richards
So like – and Kyle's work schedule is very weird. So there's not like a – it's not consistent every week.
00:43:15
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:43:19
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:43:19
Natalie Richards
And it really is like the bane of my existence that I can't just say, okay, you have him on this day and I don't have to think about it anymore.
00:43:25
Felicia Devine
Right. Yeah.
00:43:26
Natalie Richards
It's really, that's really hard.
00:43:28
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:43:28
Natalie Richards
So every single week I have to like reevaluate, okay, what's happening?
00:43:32
Felicia Devine
Who has him? Where, where are we?
00:43:34
Natalie Richards
Which day are we doing here? So what I've switched to doing starting september starting now is essentially Mondays are either going to be just Kyle or if he works, it's going to be Kyle and a babysitter for the afternoon.
Flexible Work Schedules and Childcare
00:43:51
Natalie Richards
Tuesdays I'm now going to come in in the morning.
00:43:54
Felicia Devine
Oh, you're going to work Tuesday morning.
00:43:54
Natalie Richards
Don't ask me why. am.
00:44:00
Felicia Devine
You're adding more time into work.
00:44:00
Natalie Richards
Mainly because i'm i'm shifting my Thursday to not be all day.
00:44:01
Felicia Devine
There you go.
00:44:05
Felicia Devine
Oh, okay.
00:44:05
Natalie Richards
because then like So I have the ability, if I have to take Gene with me to the office, which we're going to try.
00:44:10
Felicia Devine
Oh, it's a shorter shift.
00:44:13
Natalie Richards
We're going try and see how he does now coming back to the office for like two and a half hours tops.
00:44:14
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:44:17
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:44:20
Natalie Richards
And we're just going to see. And then I have the ability, if I need to on Tuesdays and Thursdays,
00:44:21
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:44:25
Natalie Richards
I don't have to rely on somebody else. I can just take him with me if I have to. Chelsea can have him like for a couple hours before or after if I need to go do something or if I have an appointment, whatever, because he loves it.
00:44:34
Felicia Devine
hey
00:44:36
Natalie Richards
He loves going to play with her daughter and they have a great time.
00:44:38
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:44:40
Natalie Richards
And then Wednesdays are going to be all day with my mom.
00:44:43
Felicia Devine
it
00:44:43
Natalie Richards
So i I'm thinking that it's going to work better for my mental
00:44:48
Felicia Devine
To have a real schedule.
00:44:48
Natalie Richards
load to have a real schedule and have the flexibility to bring him with me if I have to. Because otherwise, if I'm working three full days, I can't just bring him with me for that full day.
00:44:59
Natalie Richards
like that There is no way.
00:44:59
Felicia Devine
No, that's a long time. It's also a lot of food.
00:45:02
Natalie Richards
like
00:45:02
Felicia Devine
I carry a straight up cooler to work.
00:45:04
Natalie Richards
It's a lot of prep. It's a lot of prep. I know. know.
00:45:06
Felicia Devine
My lunchbox is a cooler, full cooler because ah ah how much I'm eating with nursing.
00:45:07
Natalie Richards
Yes. i know
00:45:12
Natalie Richards
yes
00:45:12
Felicia Devine
And then Sep, he eats like so much and so much variety.
00:45:15
Natalie Richards
So much at that age. Oh my gosh.
00:45:17
Felicia Devine
It's like, we need a snack.
00:45:18
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:45:18
Felicia Devine
We need milk.
00:45:19
Natalie Richards
Yes.
00:45:19
Felicia Devine
We need water.
00:45:20
Natalie Richards
All day.
00:45:20
Felicia Devine
We need nursing. we
00:45:21
Natalie Richards
Oh, it's like, it's truly like so much.
00:45:23
Felicia Devine
this It's crazy.
00:45:26
Natalie Richards
That was, I had Jean in like a half day preschool for like a couple, a couple days a week for like one semester.
00:45:32
Felicia Devine
I remember.
00:45:34
Natalie Richards
I'm like, I'm sorry, this is too much. I cannot make a lunch two days, two days out of the week.
00:45:37
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:45:40
Natalie Richards
How do people do this?
00:45:41
Felicia Devine
Well, and a lunch that's like healthy, but like can go to school.
00:45:42
Natalie Richards
there Or yeah. Yes. That he will actually eat and is not junk.
00:45:48
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:45:48
Natalie Richards
And that took like a lot of effort for me.
00:45:51
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:45:51
Natalie Richards
i can't even believe, believe how much like I didn't want to do that two days a week.
00:45:53
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:45:57
Felicia Devine
Did you recently see the like back to school campaign that is like sponsored by Capri Sun, Lunchables and who else is it?
00:46:05
Natalie Richards
Stop. No, I have not seen this.
00:46:07
Felicia Devine
Kraft Mac and Cheese or something.
00:46:08
Natalie Richards
Oh, gross.
00:46:10
Felicia Devine
it's It's like I'm appalled that we're we're here. I'm appalled that there there isn't more like, hmm, that doesn't sound right.
00:46:14
Natalie Richards
Oh, no.
00:46:18
Natalie Richards
Oh, no.
00:46:18
Felicia Devine
They like band together to create a back to school campaign. And I'm just like, that is crazy.
00:46:23
Natalie Richards
Also, can you believe that these things have been around since we were in school? like like I remember envying other people's Lunchables.
00:46:28
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Oh, I would beg for a Lunchable.
00:46:32
Natalie Richards
Yeah. my mom
00:46:32
Felicia Devine
I would beg. I would beg for a Lunchable.
00:46:35
Natalie Richards
Never in my life have I eaten a Lunchable, thank God.
00:46:36
Felicia Devine
No, no. She was like, my mom was like, um, I make you a beautiful homemade lunch every single day and a homemade breakfast and a homemade dinner. We would beg, you know what else we would beg for?
00:46:45
Natalie Richards
yep
00:46:47
Felicia Devine
TV dinners.
00:46:48
Natalie Richards
Oh, absolutely. Like I want a frozen dinner.
00:46:50
Felicia Devine
Beg.
00:46:51
Natalie Richards
Gross.
00:46:51
Felicia Devine
Give me a frozen dinner in a tray. i want all my food pre-made in a tray. My mom's like, what?
00:46:57
Natalie Richards
What are you talking about?
00:46:58
Felicia Devine
i make you this beautiful meal and I'm begging for a frozen dinner.
00:46:59
Natalie Richards
We didn't know. We didn't know how good we had it.
00:47:03
Felicia Devine
I know. I know. My mom made us a hot breakfast every single day for school through a senior year.
00:47:08
Natalie Richards
I know she did. That's amazing. hu That's like ah ah thinking in thinking about that, that is so much work.
00:47:11
Felicia Devine
Crazy. Love. That's a love language.
00:47:17
Felicia Devine
Also, my mom hates cooking. She's like me.
00:47:20
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:47:20
Felicia Devine
And my mother woke up every single day and cooked those hot breakfasts.
00:47:21
Natalie Richards
And she forced herself.
00:47:24
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:47:26
Felicia Devine
And multiple course, like we would have like multiple dishes.
00:47:28
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:47:29
Felicia Devine
we would have a smoothie. We would have like breakfast burritos.
00:47:31
Natalie Richards
I remember that.
00:47:33
Felicia Devine
Like it was not just like she put scrambled eggs on a plate.
00:47:36
Natalie Richards
earth It was like a whole thing.
00:47:37
Felicia Devine
It was a full meal.
00:47:38
Natalie Richards
oh just like thinking about that is just, it makes me lose it a little bit.
00:47:40
Felicia Devine
la
00:47:45
Natalie Richards
I'm like, oh my God, this is a lot.
00:47:45
Felicia Devine
Yeah. I, yeah.
00:47:47
Natalie Richards
but That's truly one of the reasons why I'm like, I don't really want to send Gene to school. Truthfully, I don't want to do do that five days a week.
00:47:55
Felicia Devine
No, pack a lunch.
00:47:56
Natalie Richards
I don't want to have to bring him somewhere five days a week.
00:47:59
Felicia Devine
I know.
00:47:59
Natalie Richards
Like, no, no.
00:48:00
Felicia Devine
I know. I, we, like, we should really dive down, like, the
Homeschooling and Educational Flexibility
00:48:04
Felicia Devine
schooling train because you and I are both of the philosophy of, like, we want to own businesses, but we want to raise our children and we want to raise them in a way that aligns with us.
00:48:04
Natalie Richards
We should. I'm pretty far down the rabbit hole.
00:48:16
Natalie Richards
Aligns with our values.
00:48:17
Felicia Devine
Yeah. And I think a lot of that looks like homeschooling and co-ops.
00:48:20
Natalie Richards
and I think it really does. like the far
00:48:22
Felicia Devine
So how do we do it all?
00:48:23
Natalie Richards
I know. How? How? I think the reality is that the time commitment is actually not what people think when it comes to homeschooling.
00:48:30
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:48:32
Natalie Richards
like Yes, it takes prep.
00:48:32
Felicia Devine
Yeah, but then like, yeah.
00:48:34
Natalie Richards
It takes like effort and like us doing it. But did I tell you I started like a group?
00:48:38
Felicia Devine
Yeah. yeah
00:48:40
Natalie Richards
Yeah. So I
00:48:42
Felicia Devine
You have your own co-op.
00:48:43
Natalie Richards
My idea is that each parent, once the kids get older, because right now they're like three and four, so there's literally nothing that we have to teach them.
00:48:49
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:48:52
Felicia Devine
Yes.
00:48:52
Natalie Richards
It's purely just like group play at this point.
00:48:54
Felicia Devine
Group. Yeah.
00:48:55
Natalie Richards
But eventually i'm like, okay, each parent is good at something, right? Like each person can say, okay, I'm like good at this.
00:49:01
Felicia Devine
You'll do science.
00:49:03
Natalie Richards
I can teach these kids a very basic level of this particular topic. And you can just take a day. It's two hours. You just... have a little activity around it. You teach them something about whatever that is and that's it.
00:49:18
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:49:18
Natalie Richards
So that's the idea. And it's all people that I feel like hanging out with. I don't know how I would feel going into a co-op per se, like a preexisting co-op where I, I don't know.
00:49:27
Felicia Devine
yeah Right.
00:49:32
Natalie Richards
don't
00:49:32
Felicia Devine
Natalie, you have to open your own business because you don't want to work for someone else. have to start your own co-op because you don't want to join someone else's.
00:49:40
Natalie Richards
I'm particular about the energy of people that I want to have around me.
00:49:41
Felicia Devine
We're the same people. I know. Same. You're, you're, what is it? Your existence is the combination of the five closest people to you.
00:49:51
Felicia Devine
Isn't that right?
00:49:52
Natalie Richards
Definitely.
00:49:53
Felicia Devine
Something like that, where it's like you are a mirror of who you hang out with.
00:49:53
Natalie Richards
Definitely. Yes.
00:49:56
Felicia Devine
And if you stick your kid in a setting that does not mirror your core values, your morals, your ethics, your spirituality, your kid is going to become molded into that.
00:50:03
Natalie Richards
Mm-hmm.
00:50:07
Natalie Richards
Yes. And truly it's like more, it's selfish too. Like I want to hang out with people that i if I'm spending my time with other people, like I, it needs to be people that I like and that are friends of mine and like, that I like talking to rather.
00:50:14
Felicia Devine
Relate with.
00:50:19
Felicia Devine
Right. Yeah. I had that conversation with someone the other day. i was like, when your kid makes friends, do you have to be friends with their parents? How does that work?
00:50:31
Felicia Devine
What if, what if Giuseppe becomes friends with someone and I'm like, oh I don't like the mom.
00:50:31
Natalie Richards
yeah. Yeah.
00:50:38
Natalie Richards
I you know.
00:50:38
Felicia Devine
Like I'm nervous.
00:50:39
Natalie Richards
i know.
00:50:40
Felicia Devine
Is it like dating? Like you have to like,
00:50:41
Natalie Richards
It already happens. Kind of like you have to like have these like weird conversations with people that you don't really like, even at like the playground where Jean will like make a friend with this kid.
00:50:46
Felicia Devine
oh no.
00:50:52
Natalie Richards
And then I'm like sitting there like chatting, chit-chatting with the mom.
00:50:55
Felicia Devine
Look at the mom like, oh Oh my God, that sounds so extroverted.
00:50:57
Natalie Richards
I'm like, can't we just like sit on our opposite benches for a little bit? And just like, oh it's just a lot. I'm like, okay, I'm going to go sit over here now. and we Like, how do you do that?
00:51:08
Felicia Devine
I'm like terrified. I started going to this library thing for like toddlers and I'm just like, I can't talk to anyone.
00:51:13
Natalie Richards
oh no.
00:51:16
Felicia Devine
I'm so, i'm so i literally in my older age become introverted because I'm like, I just want to talk to my baby.
00:51:18
Natalie Richards
think like I have as well. But think about all of the conversations we have every day and all of like all the small talking that we have to do, even though it's like meaningful small talk.
00:51:26
Felicia Devine
i know it's so taxing. Yeah.
00:51:32
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:51:33
Natalie Richards
i Sometimes my brain actually can't do it when I'm not in the office.
00:51:36
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:51:37
Natalie Richards
I'm like, there's nothing there's nothing there. Like i I don't have anything to talk to this person about and it's nothing against them.
00:51:41
Felicia Devine
Yeah. No, literally. I'm like, I forget how to ask questions because I'm so used to asking questions all day.
00:51:46
Natalie Richards
truly, truly.
00:51:50
Felicia Devine
We need to practice.
00:51:51
Natalie Richards
we do.
00:51:52
Felicia Devine
But this like this library time is like 40 toddlers screaming and running around.
00:51:52
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:51:55
Natalie Richards
Wow.
00:51:58
Felicia Devine
And I'm like, first off, I need structure.
00:51:58
Natalie Richards
Like what actually is happening there?
00:52:02
Felicia Devine
Second off, this is not what I signed up for.
00:52:05
Natalie Richards
No.
00:52:05
Felicia Devine
And third, I thought this was an activity that I listened and they ran. This has turned into co-mingling.
00:52:13
Natalie Richards
Exactly.
00:52:13
Felicia Devine
I'm like, I didn't want to talk. I didn't.
00:52:15
Natalie Richards
No, I want them to read a story.
00:52:15
Felicia Devine
I i told Giuseppe we were coming to sit and listen.
00:52:17
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:52:20
Felicia Devine
And we're both confused.
00:52:21
Natalie Richards
Because that's what I want to do. i want to sit there and listen to somebody else do it.
00:52:24
Felicia Devine
We're both missing the memo.
00:52:27
Natalie Richards
I know.
00:52:28
Felicia Devine
Because Johnny next door brought his tractor truck and Julie brought snacks for her daughter.
00:52:28
Natalie Richards
It's so hard.
00:52:34
Felicia Devine
And I'm like, Giuseppe was told he can't eat.
00:52:38
Natalie Richards
And is just exactly, he's distracted by all the other stuff.
00:52:39
Felicia Devine
And now he feels, yes, he feels slighted because mom said we're sitting still and we're not snacking.
00:52:41
Natalie Richards
I know.
00:52:46
Natalie Richards
All I can say to you is
00:52:48
Felicia Devine
Library time is not it.
00:52:50
Natalie Richards
cherry pick the people who you want to be with you.
00:52:55
Felicia Devine
who Who's in my circle?
00:52:55
Natalie Richards
If you have a couple patients where you're like, oh, you know, we're starting a little group, like if you like them, or like there's a couple friends that maybe have kids the same age or even older.
00:53:00
Felicia Devine
Yes. Yes.
00:53:07
Natalie Richards
It's not a problem to have kids of of different ages and just say, hey, we're going to just like get together with everybody and see how this works.
00:53:08
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:53:14
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:53:15
Natalie Richards
That's how I started it.
00:53:16
Felicia Devine
um'm I'm going to build my own library.
00:53:18
Natalie Richards
I built your own.
00:53:21
Felicia Devine
The Wave Library.
00:53:21
Natalie Richards
Have your own time at the circle time
00:53:24
Felicia Devine
No, but honestly, i I mean, I'm not discounting what a librarian does, but the one I take him to, it's like, I can read a story and sing 15 nursery rhymes.
00:53:25
Natalie Richards
at the office
00:53:36
Natalie Richards
ge Exactly.
00:53:36
Felicia Devine
We can do this. We can create our own library time.
00:53:39
Natalie Richards
All it takes is just like planning it out so you don't have to think about it.
00:53:42
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:53:43
Natalie Richards
And that's where I'm at right now.
00:53:44
Felicia Devine
Is that my next venture?
00:53:45
Natalie Richards
Maybe you'll get there, trust me, because you'll see everything around you is not what you want.
00:53:49
Felicia Devine
My own group.
00:53:51
Natalie Richards
So then you say, okay, how about I will create the template and i
00:53:51
Felicia Devine
Okay. Well, if you're listening,
00:53:55
Felicia Devine
yeah, Natalie's going to create our template for all these moms out here looking to create like-minded mom groups.
00:54:02
Natalie Richards
I'll create the template and I'll let you know.
00:54:05
Felicia Devine
Okay. And if you're a mom listening local to me and you want to hang out with me, yeah me because I'm creating my own library group.
00:54:09
Natalie Richards
hit me up. DM me.
00:54:13
Natalie Richards
Tell me the ages of your kids and all the values that you're interested in.
00:54:16
Felicia Devine
I'll create groups. Yeah.
00:54:18
Natalie Richards
We said the one one requirement for our group is you can't give your your kids food dyes. That's the only way. Because everybody else is very...
00:54:26
Felicia Devine
No food diet.
00:54:27
Natalie Richards
It's on a spectrum.
00:54:27
Felicia Devine
Yes.
00:54:28
Natalie Richards
We're all...
00:54:29
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:54:30
Natalie Richards
like There's some people who are like extended breastfeeders, but then like they're not as crunchy in other areas.
00:54:34
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:54:36
Natalie Richards
And then there's other people who are really crunchy, but then like maybe aren't into the homeschool thing quite yet, but might be.
00:54:36
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:54:41
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:54:42
Natalie Richards
And there's like there's like a huge variety of people in our group.
00:54:42
Felicia Devine
Yeah. There's like variety pack.
00:54:46
Felicia Devine
Yes. You just have to be no food diet.
00:54:47
Natalie Richards
But it essentially, you just can't feed your kids food diet and then we can be friends.
00:54:52
Felicia Devine
Because then your kid also won't be acting out of body.
00:54:55
Natalie Richards
Like a fool. Exactly. Exactly.
00:54:58
Felicia Devine
So we won't have to kick them out.
00:54:59
Natalie Richards
Exactly.
00:55:01
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:55:01
Natalie Richards
Baseline is that. You can be on the whole scale of
00:55:07
Felicia Devine
Natalie, we literally went from, we would never do this again. would never return to work. would never hold positions like this to creating our own co-ops.
00:55:18
Natalie Richards
Because it's just me. It is.
00:55:19
Felicia Devine
Out of necessity. It's out of necessity.
00:55:21
Natalie Richards
it is
00:55:21
Felicia Devine
We're in survival.
00:55:22
Natalie Richards
o
00:55:24
Felicia Devine
Yeah. I mean, i yeah.
00:55:24
Natalie Richards
And truly it's it's that I look around and i'm like I don't like anything that I see. Like I don't like the options. I don't want a full-time school. I didn't like the half-day preschool crap because it really didn't do anything for opening up my time.
00:55:39
Felicia Devine
No, no.
00:55:40
Natalie Richards
it like i
00:55:42
Felicia Devine
How people do that.
00:55:42
Natalie Richards
don't really love the co-ops around here, at least where I'm at. Yeah.
00:55:47
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Who is that preschool drop off for?
00:55:49
Natalie Richards
if
00:55:50
Felicia Devine
Because I look at, we have a Montessori school and it's like drop off at 10 AM, pick up at noon. I'm like, what?
00:55:57
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:55:57
Felicia Devine
Who can work?
00:55:57
Natalie Richards
Like what does that, what does that do for you? It doesn't, I can go to the grocery store, but it's way easier just to bring him.
00:55:59
Felicia Devine
I can see three patients by the time I drive to and f from.
00:56:05
Felicia Devine
And also it's still expensive.
00:56:06
Natalie Richards
i can maybe go to a workout class. ah ah It was like to the point where I was like, okay, three hours just went by. What did I just do?
00:56:14
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:56:14
Natalie Richards
This is dumb. Like, I don't know.
00:56:16
Felicia Devine
Yeah. I can honestly get more done and during a nap time because I'm not driving.
00:56:21
Natalie Richards
Yes. It was just, it ended up,
00:56:23
Felicia Devine
Like if you drop them off, your commute is half that time.
00:56:26
Natalie Richards
It was like a whole lie. like got, we did one semester and I was like, this is not it. Like, I'm sorry.
00:56:33
Felicia Devine
No.
00:56:33
Natalie Richards
This is not for me. Mm-hmm.
00:56:35
Felicia Devine
The time you took driving there, packing his lunch.
00:56:40
Felicia Devine
Yeah, it's just not it.
00:56:41
Natalie Richards
No, it was not. So anyway, we're on that future.
00:56:45
Felicia Devine
More on that in future episodes about Natalie's co-op.
00:56:50
Natalie Richards
That's our future though. I really do see it.
00:56:51
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:56:52
Natalie Richards
like i
00:56:52
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:56:54
Natalie Richards
I don't see how traditional school is ever going to fit into to at least my life.
00:56:59
Felicia Devine
Our values.
00:57:00
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:57:01
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:57:01
Natalie Richards
In Illinois, it's really nice because you can actually pick and choose from If you wanted your kid to go to like chemistry class at a public high school, you can just pick that one class and you can – and then they can play sport – they can play school sports still.
00:57:09
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:57:13
Felicia Devine
i think I think we have that same thing. Yeah.
00:57:18
Natalie Richards
So a lot of states are not that way. Philadelphia – or Pennsylvania might be way.
00:57:22
Felicia Devine
I think I have a large number of homeschool families in my practice, and I'm going to have to like kind of resource their information and knowledge.
00:57:22
Natalie Richards
Yeah. Yeah.
00:57:29
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
00:57:29
Felicia Devine
And I've already started picking the brains of a few of my patients just being like, what are our options?
00:57:33
Natalie Richards
yeah
00:57:35
Felicia Devine
But.
00:57:35
Natalie Richards
I think what's nice about that is you don't have to do like a ah ah separate co-op where it's like a whole separate group of people.
00:57:41
Felicia Devine
Mm-hmm.
00:57:43
Natalie Richards
Like if you want your kid to be in a certain class that you don't want to teach or you want them to play school sports, they just have to be in one class. and
00:57:53
Felicia Devine
I think in Pennsylvania, they don't even have to go. It's just the school district that you live in.
00:57:57
Natalie Richards
Oh, interesting. So you can play.
00:57:58
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Cause you pay school taxes regardless.
00:58:00
Natalie Richards
Right.
00:58:00
Felicia Devine
And I think, yeah.
00:58:00
Natalie Richards
And that's, yeah. I mean, that would make sense.
00:58:03
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:58:03
Natalie Richards
I think the public public might be that way. I think the private schools around here, you just have to play.
00:58:06
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Oh.
00:58:08
Natalie Richards
you have to do one class and then you can play the sports.
00:58:10
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:12
Natalie Richards
But yeah, there's so many options. i don't think people really know that you don't have to do it normally.
00:58:14
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Well, also people... I think a lot of people use school as a way to utilize it as childcare.
00:58:25
Natalie Richards
Definitely. And I get that. like if you're If you are working five days a week, of course you have to do something.
00:58:27
Felicia Devine
Yeah. If you're working. Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:31
Natalie Richards
But like and us not working five days a week, I can't justify ever sending him somewhere five days.
00:58:37
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:58:38
Natalie Richards
like i
00:58:39
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:58:39
Natalie Richards
All day for five days, I just can't wrap my head around that.
00:58:42
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:42
Natalie Richards
So I'm going to be doing something let yeah definitely hybrid.
00:58:44
Felicia Devine
Yeah. Hybrid. Mm-hmm.
00:58:47
Natalie Richards
And I just don't know when that's really going start.
00:58:49
Felicia Devine
Yeah, I agree.
00:58:51
Natalie Richards
So- I have to figure that all out. But it's also one of those things that i you can choose as you go. you know i' I'm going to do this for as long as I feel like I can.
00:58:58
Felicia Devine
And you can always pivot. Yeah.
00:59:01
Natalie Richards
And if I get to a point that it's not working, then it's not working.
00:59:02
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:59:04
Natalie Richards
And we put them in school and see how that works.
00:59:04
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:59:06
Natalie Richards
And if that doesn't work, then the next year I don't do it.
00:59:08
Felicia Devine
and
00:59:10
Natalie Richards
you know
00:59:10
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:59:11
Natalie Richards
like It's okay.
00:59:11
Felicia Devine
yeah
00:59:12
Natalie Richards
I know Chelsea's daughter, she's in a ah public school. And this year they've gotten crazy about attendance. And it's like, here are the three reasons why you can take your child out of school. And it's like, and it's like really? You're going to tell me? like I get the principal.
00:59:29
Natalie Richards
Like, yes, they need to be in school, blah, blah.
00:59:29
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:59:32
Felicia Devine
Gene would get truancy immediately.
00:59:33
Natalie Richards
Like, I know. so i'm I'm sorry. I cannot have somebody telling me that.
00:59:38
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
00:59:39
Natalie Richards
Like, if I want to take him on an educational trip, I'm I'm going to take him out of school and you're going to just have to be okay with that or okay, then he's not going to school.
00:59:44
Felicia Devine
Right. Deal with it.
00:59:48
Felicia Devine
Right.
00:59:49
Natalie Richards
don't know. And that's kind of where I've gotten. like i can't do this.
Upcoming Podcast Content Teasers
00:59:55
Felicia Devine
I know.
00:59:55
Natalie Richards
Okay. So anyway, we'll talk more about that as time goes on homeschooling.
00:59:56
Felicia Devine
right. Yeah. Yeah.
00:59:59
Natalie Richards
And you have homework because you need to listen to the new Culture Apothecary podcast on root canals.
01:00:07
Felicia Devine
Which one I've...
01:00:08
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:00:09
Felicia Devine
Oh, no. What good timing.
01:00:12
Natalie Richards
what i
01:00:12
Felicia Devine
All right. I'll listen to that.
01:00:13
Natalie Richards
I saw it pop up today. I was like, oh, you've got to be kidding. This is perfect timing.
01:00:16
Felicia Devine
I love it. I love it. And then we'll also have to talk about the water one.
01:00:22
Natalie Richards
Oh, yeah.
01:00:22
Felicia Devine
I loved that.
01:00:22
Natalie Richards
We'll talk about water.
01:00:23
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:00:24
Natalie Richards
That one is like I'm like deep in the and the water thing.
01:00:28
Felicia Devine
Yeah.
01:00:29
Natalie Richards
Yeah.
01:00:30
Felicia Devine
I know. Or we could do a water tasting on the podcast.
01:00:33
Natalie Richards
Let's do it. i would ab so absolutely, absolutely.
01:00:35
Felicia Devine
That would be really fun. Yeah. Okay. We'll plan that.
01:00:39
Natalie Richards
i am going to be one of those people that has like 10 different glass like waters available at all different times.
01:00:44
Felicia Devine
Options. Well, and then that might be something that I bring into the Asana membership that we're starting.
01:00:51
Natalie Richards
Oh, yeah. Oh, love that.
01:00:53
Felicia Devine
Ooh.
01:00:54
Natalie Richards
That's a great idea.
01:00:54
Felicia Devine
Okay.
01:00:55
Natalie Richards
Specially curated waters.
01:00:56
Felicia Devine
Well, that's for a future episode.
01:00:59
Natalie Richards
Okay. So these are the things that are coming.
01:01:02
Felicia Devine
Yes. Thank you for joining us for episode eight. We will talk to you next week.