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What are you learning right now?
127 Plays8 months ago
Join the sister's for a fun sister chat today filled with encouragement and learning! Keep pressing in to the journey and what God is doing in your life right now :) Wishing you all a wonderful Mother's Day, look for the good.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Girl I Slept in My Makeup'
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the girl I slept in my makeup podcast by three sisters who live in three different cities are at three different life stages and have three different perspectives. They are excited to learn and grow alongside of you. This is a space full of love and acceptance. No judgment because let's face it. We all sleep in our makeup. Please welcome Lauren, Megan and Kristen.
Kristen's Bowling Mishap
00:00:25
Speaker
Hey, Lulu. Hey, how are you?
00:00:28
Speaker
Good. How are you? I'm good. I can't believe it's May. I know. It's gonna be May. That was, whoa, that was really good. Was that good? What just happened in my Kristin? I know you're channeling Kristin. KK is not with us listeners today. She's sick. Well, I guess she has an injury. It's the weirdest thing. She went
00:00:53
Speaker
bowling and other lady just went real hard and pulled something in her neck. She's a real competitive guy. No, I'm just kidding. That it was ironic is Michael had actually texted us how she was beating him. And then next thing we hear is she had like hurt her neck, like pulled a muscle. It's like, Oh, ma'am, I guess it depends when is she 35? When he turned 35.
00:01:17
Speaker
Yeah, maybe. Wait, she's not 35 yet, is she? Yeah, she is because I'm 38. And I turned 38. Y'all are getting so old. I know, which means you're just getting younger, right? Is that how this works? Yeah, I'm working backwards. It's actually my mother-in-law's birthday today.
Coping with Loss on Mother's Day
00:01:38
Speaker
Happy birthday, Donna. Aww, happy birthday. That's awesome.
00:01:44
Speaker
She's the best. Well, yes, I know that I guess we won't have another episode to Mother's Day coming up. So that's something that has been on our hearts. I'm sure it's been on mine. And I just want to wish everybody listening to have just a really good day. And of course we are
00:02:10
Speaker
just missing our mom so much. It's been a little over three years since our mom passed in the car accident. And it's wild. It just feels, it's still this morning I was writing in my journal and I still was just this overwhelming feeling that it still some days just doesn't feel real and that she's not here. And I was driving quite a school and just saying,
00:02:34
Speaker
Gosh, I miss Anna so much. Um, there's just nothing like a mother's love, but of course we are thinking about you guys who all, all the things, you know, struggling with infertility, maybe you've lost a child and just whatever circumstance you're facing and whatever emotions that mother's day brings up for you. Just know that you're loved. And yeah, if you're hurting, we were hurting too. Cause we miss mom, but,
00:03:04
Speaker
It's funny because Megan and I talk about this a lot, but just with grieving our mom, it's interesting because everybody grieves differently and we honor that and we support one another in that. But for us, it's like our mom is definitely still here. And it's so, it's kind of hard to explain, but, and so we talk about her a lot as if she is still here and
00:03:32
Speaker
I think sometimes that can make people uncomfortable. Yeah. So anyways, I'm just, I don't know. I'm just grateful that we had such an amazing mama. Yeah, for sure. And I actually, I wrote a blog entitled it Mother's day in grief, and it will go live on my mindset website mindset with Megan on Wednesday. So when this podcast airs, share that in the show notes too.
00:04:02
Speaker
Yeah. And I didn't know this was even a thing, but evidently this past Sunday was bereavement Mother's Day, which I didn't know that was a thing. Me neither. So yeah, we wish all of you a happy, happy Mother's Day. And I hope that it can be the best that it can be for you and your families. Me too. Try to find the good. Totally. Yay. Yes. Well, and I guess we can get started. Megan's still going to do her mindset corner.
00:04:31
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Yeah, give us give us the good stuff sister.
Exploring Paradigms and Mindset
00:04:35
Speaker
Yeah, just given little tidbits. I think this week I'll focus on what some people call paradigms or stories and then how that's related to our habits. And so if you've never heard the term paradigm, it's basically just a multitude of all your habits during the day. So your thoughts, your beliefs and your behaviors and
00:04:56
Speaker
A lot of times our paradigms are what you could call just like your story of your life are passed down from generation to generation kind of mixed with your own experiences and they create what's called a paradigm. So all behavior is habitual and you started developing paradigms when you were a baby even so your parents could inflict their ideas and beliefs on you whether good or bad and then they now really become what you believe.
00:05:23
Speaker
Or you could, you know, do the opposite where you don't believe what they believe. There's, you know, a story for every kind of situation. And then, you know, your parents potentially got their beliefs and stories from their parents and so on. So you can kind of look at this in a bunch of different ways. But it's really interesting if you're on the journey of trying to understand yourself better,
00:05:43
Speaker
and looking at your own mindset, it's, it always starts with awareness. And so I find it fun. I think some people find it overwhelming and heavy, but I find it fun to like think through my thought processes and kind of ask questions like, okay, where did this come from? Is this real? Is it not real? Is it true? Like, do I believe this? An example you could ask is what did your family think of money when you were growing up? Cause a lot of people have, you know, strong opinions about that.
00:06:09
Speaker
So trying to think through like, oh, did they say things like, oh, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, or did you hear things like, oh, we are so abundant and I'm so grateful for what God gives us? Because I think those two thought processes can probably lead to a lot of different beliefs, but you can kind of break down a lot of different things like that, not just about money, but like what did
00:06:32
Speaker
my family believe about vacations, you know, whatever, what did my family believe about God? There's so many things you could ask, breaking that down and asking yourself some questions. And your family is not the only way you develop paradigms or stories, you can develop them from social media, from friends, TV, really anything from the outside world, because our minds are constantly in taking information. So
00:06:56
Speaker
we have, you know, all of this, the outside world is coming into our brains all day long. And our subconscious mind is kind of wide open at all times. So I don't know if you've heard this before, I think I've mentioned it in previous episodes, but our subconscious minds
00:07:13
Speaker
don't really know what's real or imagined, what our subconscious minds connect with our emotions. So if we're emotionally involved with an idea, then we're gonna believe it to be true typically in the subconscious and then that will lead to behaviors and action. So it is our job, we can train our mind to not let everything in and try to replace some of those negativity or maybe thought processes that you don't really want to connect with on a deep level.
00:07:41
Speaker
choose to replace that with a different thought or positive thinking. So you can do that with working on one thought at a time. If you have some thoughts, it's really hard to just say, stop thinking that. If I tell you to not think about a banana, you're only going to think about a banana.
00:08:00
Speaker
And so this is something like pastor actually taught us is you have to replace it, that thought with a new thought. And one of my favorite quotes is by John Maxwell. It says, you will never change your life until you change something you do daily. And the secret of your success is found in your daily routine. So there's so much impact just in that one quote on like what we can do with our daily habits. But I think what I really take from this quote too, is it's found in what we think
00:08:26
Speaker
daily as well. So like, what are the thoughts that I'm having daily? And how are they leading me to have certain behaviors that maybe I don't want to have, I just don't know how to get out of those habits that I don't want. So it all starts with our thoughts and all starts with awareness. And then there's lots of different daily habits that you can start implementing and goal achieving activities and lots of exercises that I've learned over the past few years that I share with my mindset clients. So
00:08:53
Speaker
Yeah, hopefully that was helpful and check out my website to, to set up just kind of like an intro call. If this kind of conversation is something that interests you, I'm super passionate about it, but yeah, it's mindset with Megan.com. I love it. It's funny because you know that I am obsessed with tennis and one thing that really this applies to anything sports.
00:09:16
Speaker
anything. A lot of sports are like golf and tennis, especially if they're such a mind game. But in tennis, I remember when I first started playing a couple of years ago, one of the ladies said, one of the best tips that I was given is it say, for example, you keep hitting it to the net person and they keep a senior or whatever, instead of in your mind saying, stop hitting it to whoever
00:09:44
Speaker
replace that vocabulary with, okay, I'm going to hit it either line or cross court.
Mindset in Sports and Daily Life
00:09:51
Speaker
So replace it with what you're going to do, not what you don't want to do. And there's a proper name for this term, but Megan, when you were like, if I tell you not to eat a banana, or think of a banana, you're going to think of a banana. There's a name for that.
00:10:04
Speaker
same concept. It's like, that net person is going to turn into a magnet if you keep telling yourself, oh, stop hitting it to her, you know? Yeah. Well, because that's your subconscious is connecting to the emotion of that. And thinking like, oh, keep hitting it to her. Like, that's all it's hearing, you know? Yes. That's how I like to think of it. Like, we really have to talk to our subconscious, like we talked to like a baby, you know? Yes. Tell it what you want, not what you don't want.
00:10:34
Speaker
Yeah, well, and I also appreciate how you shared about just asking. This is something that I feel like as I've gotten older, I've learned to do. I for sure didn't always do this, and I still have so much more room to grow here, but is to ask the questions to ourselves. I think sometimes
00:10:55
Speaker
I don't know, we're just so busy in life and stuff that we don't stop to kind of reflect to even ask the questions. And also just kind of removing the judgment from whatever it is, I think, too. Instead of thinking something might be good or bad, or even if somebody made a comment to you where it was
00:11:19
Speaker
It made you feel a certain way. I think the more that we can stop and ask ourselves, okay, why am I feeling this way? And, and whatever that answer is, it's not good or bad. It just is. Yeah. And then I think the more that I've learned to kind of just have that approach a little bit more that I'm able to reach the other side a lot faster of like, Oh, okay. Yeah.
00:11:42
Speaker
I don't know if that makes sense, but. Yeah, I know. I think it makes total sense what I've noticed more than anything working with different clients. And it's not super surprising because this is me too. Like I was always really hard on myself, but people are very critical of themselves.
00:11:58
Speaker
And shame, you know, a lot of shame and condemnation inside their heads and in their thoughts. But they don't do that with other people, they would never like shame you for something. And so I think that's a big thing too, is when you're doing this work, I think sometimes you can end up going like a step deeper and in a bad way, not a bad way, but just like shaming yourself about how you think. Yeah.
00:12:22
Speaker
And so it's like, yeah, no, don't do that. Just be like, oh, well, that's interesting. I'm so glad that I'm aware of that now. And now I can replace it. It's just information. And that's it, right? Yeah.
00:12:35
Speaker
That's, I think that's exactly right. And I think, you know, the more we can unpack that, the more we can kind of like peel off the layers to see we all have a spirit inside of us that, you know, God created us on purpose for purpose, but it's kind of like we're buried in old virus codes, the enemy trying to interject in our life because we live in a broken world.
00:12:56
Speaker
And so the more we can unravel those things and we can really get to the heart of how God sees us. And that's when like the beauty and the freedom and the abundance starts to be like, Oh, I can live like a different way. I can live with peace. And that's because of God. Totally. Love it. Well, speaking of questions, you had some really cool, fun questions that you asked me and Kristen the other day.
00:13:21
Speaker
Yeah, these are just some conversation or personal reflection questions. And I'll share all of them on here, the questions in case you want to do it with your family or friend or spouse or a small group or whatever. Yeah. And then maybe Megan and I will ask each other maybe just
Personal Growth and Self-Reflection
00:13:38
Speaker
one for sake of time. Yeah. But the questions are, what is something you are learning right now? What's something you're waiting for?
00:13:50
Speaker
What question are you pondering? What is a good thing about the season you're currently in? And what's a challenge about the season you're currently in? So those are all good, just kind of conversation questions. Yeah. And they really get you, like you said, we don't stop to ask ourselves the questions. And so let's get some good question starters. I like it. Yeah. Well, and that was kind of going to be, normally I do a little Bible study corner, but
00:14:20
Speaker
That was just going to kind of be my challenge for all of us this time is just really about rest. And I heard a statistic recently and I wish I would have recorded it. But it was mind blowing on how much information our brain is
00:14:40
Speaker
given on a daily basis. And it was just a staggering statistic where it made you, it made me stop in my step and be like, whoa, that's actually really sad. No wonder our world's crazy. But, and so I think it just reiterated the importance of what we're human, you know, of who we are and how important rest is. And
00:15:07
Speaker
Again, I'm gonna use the word judgment again, but just to take the whatever judgment you might have, I know for myself, I am one of those where when I'm in my home, I rarely sit and it drives my husband crazy, but there's always something to be doing. And it's not because I think, it's not because I pat myself on the back for being busy, it's just kind of a personality thing. But I think that
00:15:36
Speaker
I think that in our culture, in our day and age, there has kind of been this negative thing about resting and maybe confusing it with laziness or something. I don't know. Yeah. So I just want to encourage all of us to take a rest and yeah, sit back and just reflect a little bit on whatever on yourself, on life, on what you want, on who you want to be, who you want to surround yourself with. And yeah, just,
00:16:04
Speaker
take a moment to realize this is our one shot and to make it the best, you know? I love that. So I'm going to ask you, Megan, one of these questions. Yeah. What's something that you're learning right now? Yeah. So something, I feel like I'm learning a lot of things because I love to learn. Yes. Haven't noticed. I feel like I'm a forever student, basically.
00:16:34
Speaker
Yeah, so I think something that I'm like really focused on getting better at, I guess you could say in learning is this concept of everything I do today is from my future self. So I have a goal in mind, I think.
00:16:50
Speaker
Most of us live from our past or our current situation and we make decisions and we do things day-to-day based on that information. But there's this concept that I've learned from my mentors at Voss Coach & Code. I know Lauren, I've heard you talk, you know this concept, you and Chris have utilized it before. But basically I have a goal in mind and I see that version of myself like so much bigger and capable of more than
00:17:19
Speaker
You know, I would have thought I was capable if I just stayed like in my past mindset or my past self, but making decisions and thinking about, okay, the Megan that has already achieved this goal. How would she be living day to day? What kind of habits would she have?
00:17:36
Speaker
And how would she be making her decisions? Would I say yes to this opportunity? Would I say no? And just kind of being a little bit more, I guess, kind of strategic about what I'm doing day to day and thinking about it from my future self instead of like letting my current situation or my past self hold me back.
00:17:56
Speaker
from things. So yeah, it takes practice. And it's just that idea of like, our goal is my goal is already here. Like God's already given us a yes. And kind of like I was talking about, we have, you know, the spiritual identity and like, I'm already that person, even though like my five senses like don't see it yet. And so trying to really live from that place instead of like letting my past hold me back is something I'm working on and learning. I love that. And
00:18:25
Speaker
you can say WWFMD. What would future Megan do? Oh, I was like, where are we going with this? Yeah. I was trying to think about the initials in my head to make sure I got it right. I like it. But for real, for real, I think a great question to ask ourselves is to stop and just say, okay, what would future Lauren do in this
00:18:50
Speaker
situation, like what ways would she make right now? What habit would she be implementing? Would she be doing this or that? And that's a good way to check yourself, right? Yeah. And I think, didn't you mention to me that you did that with some of your health goals? Yes, I did. So I haven't shared a ton on here, I don't think, but after our mom died and I just kind of, we had a lot of change at one time. We moved.
00:19:21
Speaker
We moved across country and seven days later is when our mom's accident happened. And then I went back to work full time after 10 years of not working full time. And anyways, just a lot of newness. Needless to say, Lauren let herself go in the whole taking care of my physical health department.
00:19:44
Speaker
I was on a journey for a while and yeah, I would literally do things like, once I kind of made the decision to be committed, once I was able to come up from drowning waters, that's what it felt like for a couple of years. I was committed to getting myself back and I would literally, it sounds and it feels silly in the beginning. It truly does, but I do believe heavily in this and
00:20:13
Speaker
So even if you're like me in a spot where you're, you kind of feel dumb, you're like, really, I'm going to look in the mirror and say these things, but I would literally go in for the mirror and I would not only visualize the future Lauren that I knew I was going to achieve, but I would also verbally say it out loud. And I, I know that we've shared like I am statements and stuff like that, but there to Megan's point, I do fully.
00:20:41
Speaker
believe because it's worked for me personally and, and being able to basically trick our subconscious minds into believing that we're there, you know, and then it follows. Yeah. Cause you start taking action. So yeah. Yeah. And it's not, I mean, it's a lot of, as you know, and I'm sure you coach it, it's hard work and it does take dedication and belief in yourself. But I think the more.
00:21:11
Speaker
practice that you do, the more confident you become in yourself and then your habits actually change. Yeah. Love it. Well, what is something you're learning right now? Ask it right back at you. I know your answer was so well thought out and spoken. I think right now for me,
00:21:36
Speaker
It's been really weird the past several months. I think that life has given me the opportunity, a few random opportunities to sit in conflict and be okay with it. For anybody that knows the Enneagram, I'm at Enneagram 9, so
00:21:55
Speaker
I think I've never been officially a peacemaker. I mean, I would call you a peacemaker anyway. I'm a peacemaker. I crave harmony. I'm, I easily see different perspectives.
00:22:08
Speaker
And I just like for everybody to get along, you know? And so I wouldn't say I'm a people pleaser. But anyways, the past few months, there's just been random, not anything, you know, major, but just opportunities to be comfortable with a little bit of conflict. And so I think that in that, I
00:22:32
Speaker
I'm getting a chance to practice reaching my inner peace no matter what's going on around me. I think I learned that skill.
00:22:43
Speaker
a while back, but I'm just getting a lot of practice with it right now. So I'm, I'm learning that even further. Yeah. You're like diving deeper into inside out living versus outside. Yes. Well, and I will share it without, you know, going into details. There was one thing that it hit really deep, but when we were going through this and you know, Megan, what I'm speaking to, sorry, listen, I'm not going to go into it, but
00:23:12
Speaker
it's like I've been through so much harder in my life. So I was really weirded out that this conflict was hitting me so deep to the point where I was having that, this really weird feeling inside of my like, like lower chest. Yes. And I feel ridiculous and silly and I'm not being insensitive to those who do struggle with anxiety, but I,
00:23:38
Speaker
It was such a foreign feeling to me that I took myself to the doctor.
00:23:43
Speaker
to ask for my blood pressure to be taken and then to ask them what's going on with me because it was a feeling. I couldn't get it to go away. I was doing all the things that I knew how, like I was meditating, I was praying nonstop. I was going and sitting in infrared sauna. I work out every day. I was doing breathing treatment, not treatments, exercises. I was doing all the tools that I have in my toolbox and they weren't, I thought it was gone and then like it would creep back in and I'm like, what the heck, go away.
00:24:11
Speaker
I wouldn't even talk to it. I was like, Hey, hey, anxiety. You're so sweet to try to take care of me, but I'm done with you. You can, you can depart my body now. I give you permission. Okay. And Felicia was just not leaving. And so she finally did. But so I guess that's what I'm saying. I've never
00:24:34
Speaker
had something that affected me for that, that deep and for that long. Like this went on for weeks and for me that was just a new thing. So yeah, luckily it's gone. So, and I, I came like really quick. My next step was to book an EMDR appointment over it. So luckily, luckily I haven't, if it comes back, I'm there. Like I'm going to EMDR. Yeah. So, so far so good. And it's been several weeks since though. Yes.
00:25:03
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I think, you know, life, mom always said life is about learning our lessons and we're all on our own journey. And so yeah, I feel like we're just constantly learning.
Grace, Support, and Conclusion
00:25:15
Speaker
And I love that question. I feel like it's something we should ask.
00:25:19
Speaker
You know, our friends and family more often. Cause I think it would get people like, Oh, wow. I don't know. You know, like kind of get you thinking. Well, I'm honestly just like, we didn't practice this and you just asking to me, like, I don't think I would have ever thought that through on my own without you asking that, you know? Yeah. So it's good. Well, good.
00:25:40
Speaker
Yeah, love it. I know. Well, we miss you, KK, and listeners. We just appreciate you so much. Thanks for tuning in with us another week. And we hope that you're having a great one. And we hope that you take one thing away from this episode at least that you can implement. And it can be a life-giving thing for you. Yes. And if there's nothing else, we can say a prayer.
00:26:09
Speaker
Yeah, I was just gonna say, you know, we started this podcast and I like to constantly reiterate it. It's, you know, the concept is girl, I slept in my makeup, meaning like we all sleep in our makeup from time to time as a metaphor that nobody's perfect and that
00:26:25
Speaker
We want to encourage people to give themselves grace and give people grace because we have been given the ultimate grace from God. So I hope that, you know, every episode that we have, whether it's a sister chat or an interview, you feel like the heart coming through and you feel you are a part of the sisterhood and that, yeah, you give yourself some grace. Yes. Girl, we all need grace. Girl.
00:26:55
Speaker
Okay, you want to pray? Sure. Heavenly Father, thank you for today. Just thank you for the gift of another day of life with our loved ones and another day for us to learn what you've set out for us to learn. And I pray that every year listening to this, that we
00:27:20
Speaker
just align our hearts and our minds and our ears and all of our senses, ultimately to you and to your will for us. And I just pray that we, the path for each and every one of us is just clear every day. And the more and more that we grow that ultimately we just grow closer to you and become more like you. And thank you so much for
00:27:50
Speaker
This upcoming Mother's Day, we thank you for all the mothers and mother figures in our life that you placed before us, our entire life thus far, and the ones in the future, and same for our listeners. And I just lift all of our hearts over to you and that you just place your healing hands over any of us that are grieving or hurting.
00:28:18
Speaker
And I especially want to lift up my sweet friend, Jana and Brittany who lost Hudson November 6th that you just give them your extra loving hands on Sunday and for all the other parents out there too that have lost any children. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. Amen. All right. All right. Bye listeners. Thank y'all for listening. Yes. Love y'all. Love y'all. Bye.
00:28:48
Speaker
Bye. Thank you for listening to another week of Girl I Slept in My Makeup. If you like us, rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you want to learn more about us or get in touch with us, go to our website, girlisleftinmymakeup.com, where you'll also find links to our Instagram and Facebook. Thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate it. And make it a great week. God bless.