Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The Baten Story: Foster Care, Adoption, and a Faithful God
25 Plays9 days ago
Tim & Caitlyn Baten join us to discuss the joys and complexities of foster care and adoption — the both/and of grief and beauty. They speak on honoring birth parents, raising children of diverse backgrounds, and what it means to pursue openness with humility, truth, and love. Their testimony highlights the power of community, the role of the church, and how God shows up in ordinary moments — even through formula shortages, meal trains, and handwritten prayers. A heartfelt episode for foster families, future adoptive parents, and anyone wanting to support vulnerable children.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Adoption and Parenting
00:00:02
Speaker
We all have a story, and at times we feel we're walking it out alone. Let's pause and think. Join us for honest conversations about adoption and parenting as we lament, encourage, give hope, and explore our true identity and worth in Christ.
Meet Caitlin and Tim Beaton
00:00:20
Speaker
Hi, and welcome to another episode of Pause and Think. My name is Jackie Darby and I'm your host for today. and I'm so excited because we have an amazing couple from Fort Worth, Texas.
00:00:36
Speaker
And it's kind of funny because i met Caitlin in an elevator last year, well, the beginning of this year in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. And so I'm welcoming Caitlin and her husband, Tim, today to share their amazing story. But welcome, Tim and Caitlin.
Foster Care and Adoption Involvement
00:00:57
Speaker
to pause and think. And I'm just going to give you guys a minute to introduce yourselves.
00:01:01
Speaker
Amazing. Well, we are so honored to be here. i think it's crazy how God just aligns our steps so intentionally. So who would have thought a year ago in an elevator, but um we are the Bay Tens and we are here in Fort Worth, Texas. We've been in Texas for about five years now and just so honored to share a little bit about our story. i work in the foster care and adoption space professionally, but we've also been foster and adoptive parents for a little over four years now. And so everything we do, i feel like we live and breathe foster care advocacy and and hopes to inspire and encourage others to step into what God's called them to do in that space for caring for the vulnerable, both children and their families.
00:01:52
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. And Tim, I just want to say thank you for coming on because we don't often have a lot of dads on. So thank you for being brave and willing to come on and be with Caitlin and
Tim's Background and Adoption Journey
00:02:08
Speaker
share your story. So tell us a little about about yourself and your journey in this whole space that we love foster and adoption.
00:02:18
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. um When Caitlin told me about this podcast happening and on Friday, I was like, perfect timing. Usually Fridays I work from home. It's like, this is perfect for, I'm excited to share with you guys. Yeah, I'm Timothy Beaton. Tim Beaton was born raised in Indonesia until I moved to to the States in 2005, finished my high school there. live in California and from 2005 to 2020 and then we moved to Texas. We got married 2018 so um it's been a journey for us a sin ever since we bought a house and like we always wanted to provide a safe space for children and ah just everything happens lined up. We got um
00:03:05
Speaker
We got certified, we got a license in 2021, I believe. And we've had so far three three girls. One went to the bio dad, bio mom, and um we've been in constant communication with them as well. So it's been great. We got updated pictures. And the last two girls that we fostered, we ended up adopted them as well. so it bit It's been amazing. It's been fun to be a that's girl dad.
00:03:37
Speaker
It's it us awesome. I love it. Can't do it any other way. He knows all the lyrics to every Frozen movie. Rapunzel. He is the ultimate girl dad. ah That's awesome. Congratulations. Wow. Three girls. You are a girl dad. But I am aware of your story.
Adopting Bella and Open Adoption
00:03:58
Speaker
that you went on to adopt two of them. and so Caitlin, tell me a little more about about Well, let's start off with Bella.
00:04:09
Speaker
Yeah. We always were told when we were in the foster licensing process that you will never get babies, you will never get infants, which we were so open-handed, whatever God wants, we got licensed for all ages and i'm prepared a room with bunk beds for siblings and older kids expecting that we would never have babies. And for some reason, all of our kids have come as infants. Our first came at 10 days old. Bella came about three and a half months old. Joy came about three months old. So for some reason, and i think God has just created our home for a little safe spot for infants apparently. um But we kind of fast-tracked unintentionally with Bella. She was placed in our home and within a couple months,
00:05:01
Speaker
her case went to adoption pretty quickly. And that was intentional because of her bio mom's journey and wanting us to adopt Bella. And so we we, just love her bio mom and first mom so much. And she was the one to really encourage Bella to stay with us permanently as our daughter. And so we get the opportunity to stay in contact with her and adoption is open and not a secret here in our household. Both of our girls know their story and we continue to just figure things out as we go with both of our girls and open-handedly
00:05:47
Speaker
you know, just expectant for God to continue to move even when adoption is finalized. We know that there are the highs and the lows, but God is still consistent. So, yeah.
00:05:59
Speaker
I've got so many questions. But I think first of all, yeah, you said so much that I could just, you know, we could spend a half hour on every little point.
00:06:11
Speaker
But so when you guys started in this whole foster care journey, did you expect to adopt?
Expectations vs. Reality in Fostering
00:06:23
Speaker
Or were you just Lord, we're just here to foster and whatever you do, you do. Yeah. I mean, we did not expect it. We went into it.
00:06:35
Speaker
If a case ever led to that, we would pray about it. Well, we were licensed, uh, our license for foster to adopt, but coming in into that, into the space after license, I don't think we have expectation on everyone that comes to our house will be adopted. yeah So our expectation expectation, our hope was just to provide safe space for these girls, uh, whatever that we can do. Um,
00:06:59
Speaker
We, yeah, we, there's never really adoption, but it just happens to both girls came to case cases, both cases resulted in result. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So clearly the Lord was so in it and just, you went out and got bunk beds, but then you had to go out and get a crib because he sent you a baby.
Insights from the Filled Conference
00:07:22
Speaker
But Caitlin, you and I, um, were at the filled conference, which is an amazing conference. For Foster Care Adoptive Mothers. A must attend. Highly, highly recommend it with Jamie Finn. And so um we learned in that conference that you can have, for example, brokenness and beauty yeah all in the same sentence.
00:07:50
Speaker
It's not one or the other Because, you know, your girl's stories, there obviously was something broken in the system or happened in their lives to separate them yeah from their biological parents or mother, more specifically.
00:08:12
Speaker
But, you know, many times we just kind of zoom in on one area or the other. yeah But could either of you expound a little bit maybe on that, like, you know, talking about the brokenness, but the beauty, because I know you guys referenced to the biological mom and keeping in touch.
Relationships with Biological Parents
00:08:35
Speaker
And so can you guys expound upon that a little bit? Because many times we hear that you cut them off. Yeah. i feel when we went into getting licensed, know,
00:08:49
Speaker
I was naive in the sense of thinking kids are removed for reason and they don't, they shouldn't go back because obviously it was unsafe and was very set in my thinking that, that this should be forever. They should never go back. How can people really heal and whatnot? And i think with our first case,
00:09:16
Speaker
We started to build such a genuine and authentic relationship with our first daughter's mom. And it just completely opened my eyes to this false narrative that I had been believing. And the Lord really just started to work on my heart about I see them just as I see you. You are not better or less, but I love you both equally the same. um And that forgiveness that I did on the cross was for you and for them. So really shifted that mindset, which I think has...
00:09:53
Speaker
helped shape that both and in the complexities of foster care adoption openness that there is beauty and redemption from the brokenness but we also can't dismiss the heartache and the loss and that things were severed and I think God has just continued to show me how can you show the love of Jesus to other people through this? How can you hold your hands open? And ultimately our, our actions and the things that we're doing now with the foundation for our kids, Is that later going to point them to Jesus? Are they going to see Jesus in our decisions and how we showed up to keep openness or protection? You know, it doesn't can be both. And and ultimately, I want our kids to look back a and.
00:10:51
Speaker
They don't have to be grateful, but I hope if anything, they don't see us. We're out of the way and they just see God in their story and in their testimony. Yeah, one thing I want to add. i love that.
00:11:02
Speaker
One thing i want to add about what this this really shows how amazing Caitlin was as man um as a foster mom. We built such a good relationship with our first daughter, our foster
Building Relationships with Biological Mothers
00:11:15
Speaker
daughter with her bio mom.
00:11:17
Speaker
and We learned so much about that. where With Bella, we... What she did was every ah weekly visit, she always she brought a book and then she updates everything on that book, communicate with mom and mom could write back.
00:11:33
Speaker
And I think that builds such a good relationship. Even when we met her the first time at courthouse, she feels like she already knows us for a long time. And she decided, like, you guys are really the the the family that could take care of Bella. um I don't want to bring Bella with my struggle.
00:11:53
Speaker
I know Bella is loved by you guys because we can constantly communicated with with her, built that relationship. Even we never met her, but through a small details, small things like she did, It's it's things that we've been able to like show how Jesus also loves her you know through us. And umm um um I'm thankful for that, for Caitlin, who's been doing that. And with with Joy as well. So all three months that we've been building that relationship.
00:12:23
Speaker
That's so beautiful. And I just and admire you guys for that.
Truth and Origins for Adopted Children
00:12:29
Speaker
And, you know, our heart and passion, even in our our book, Who's Am I? One thing that we're very passionate about is telling our kids the truth, telling the children the truth from the get-go, not hiding anything, of course, age appropriate. But Tim, why do you feel like telling the girls the truth from the get-go is so important? Yeah.
00:12:57
Speaker
Because for me, I'd rather them know from such a young age that we're not hiding anything. i feel like if they find out later when they're older, um i don't know. I feel like they they deserve to know everything from their young age. yeah And when we're just going out, hanging out with bio moms,
00:13:22
Speaker
They're familiar with them already when they're even since they haven't been able to walk or talk. I know I want, we want them to to know the truth about everything since the young age. I'd rather them know, yeah, like i said, since the beginning.
00:13:38
Speaker
Yeah, that's that's so good. And Caitlin, um your family is very interracial.
Celebrating Diverse Cultures in Family
00:13:48
Speaker
That's what I love. That's what I love. So, We don't have a picture to put up of your your little girls who are only Bella's three and a half and Joy's two. So can you tell, you know, they can't see, our listeners cannot see any pictures, but can you explain the um beautiful interracial family that you have?
00:14:10
Speaker
Yeah, Tim mentioned earlier, so he is from Indonesia and Bella, who is our oldest, is African-American. Joy is Caucasian. and And so we are a very diverse and blended family that acknowledges all parts of our different cultures and shares and celebrates.
00:14:33
Speaker
and honors one another. So for instance, Tim has been teaching both of our girls how to speak in Indonesian. And so they can sing and count no different fruits and vegetables in their Indonesian language. And so that's super fun and not limited to one person's culture. We're very take and share. um and different things with Bella's culture. We are very passionate about staying educated, going to different events, having racial mirrors, community. We're very blessed to be at a church that is very diverse, both in cultures as well as family makeup. So tons of foster and adoptive families at our congregation. So girl, our girls are growing up seeing that as well, that this can be normal and this isn't something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of, but that the kingdom of God looks very blended. So we are definitely very mixed. Tim is still trying to get the girls to appreciate and love Sriracha and spicy foods. We're not there yet, but maybe as they get older,
00:15:47
Speaker
Oh, that's so fun. That is great. Your girls are little still. They are. So, you know, i can't wait to check back in in a couple of years to hear the progress and how everything's going.
Church Community Support
00:16:02
Speaker
But how has the church been? um been a help to you guys or is, can the church be a help to foster slash adoption families? How, you know, if we have listeners that are maybe, you know, wondering how they could be a part, or maybe even wondering if they should or could be foster families, what kind of words of encouragement or wisdom could you give to those families?
00:16:33
Speaker
I think, when we, our first daughter, when we first welcomed her to our house, like Caitlin said, we were never expecting um an infant.
00:16:44
Speaker
a baby We weren't even licensed. That's a whole other story. We were in the process, but we weren't even licensed. So we had nothing yeah at all. So we don't have any baby stuff, nothing. And then we were told like, oh, you're going to have a 10 days old baby.
00:16:58
Speaker
were like, we don't have anything, nothing at all. We talked to our people at our previous church. Literally the next day we have things, yeah everything, have every kind of baby maybe stuff that we need appeared in our front door.
00:17:14
Speaker
we had such a strong community that really, really we couldn't do it without our church. yeah Back then, 2021, yeah. Yeah. I remember our pastors even, we called them because we didn't even have a stroller, a car seat. Again, we weren't expecting babies. And I remember our pastors went into their own home and started gathering their stroller, their car seat. And they they themselves, who was leading a church of thousands of people, still paused to take that time to, hey what role do we even play as leaders and pastors? and I remember just being so overwhelmed with gratitude of the church responding. I don't think we cooked for probably a month because we had meals every single day. um and it wasn't, it wasn't this thing of, Oh, we're opening on Tuesday. So everyone get ready. it was completely unexpected and everyone just rallied around and supported um,
00:18:19
Speaker
i'm I think one of the easiest ways to get involved, which would have been super helpful, is getting either background checked so you could babysit or provide respite. As foster parents, you can't have anyone just watch your kid. And so... It does take a little bit of a steps to get fingerprinted and background checked and whatnot, but that was so helpful for some of our community to go through the process and I even had one of our good friends who was a stay at home mom with transporting the visits. She said, Hey, i can't foster right now, but I can take your kid to her visits. And every week would pick up our daughter from daycare, take her to the visit. And she even got to get to know our daughter's mom and love on her, pray over her, encourage her. And that was just such a tangible way to serve our family in a season where
00:19:17
Speaker
We can't just take PTO every Thursday at 1 for a visit. And so rallying around us and checking in. i mean, I'd encourage anyone who's listening,
00:19:31
Speaker
to not forget about your friends who have adopted, you know, just because there was a lot of moving pieces while fostering adoption, we're still navigating therapies. We're still navigating open relationships. We're still driving to appointments and meeting with specialists and whatnot. Um, that's something we're always going to have on our plate. And so,
00:19:54
Speaker
Not forgetting that those families that are in the season of adoption still need prayers, encouragement, community to wrap around their kids. so One thing I think I want to share with how amazing community was, Jesus uses our community through his, I think back this, um,
00:20:14
Speaker
girl, our first girl, she was a, she needed a special formula like back in 2021, 2022. And there was a shortage. I don't know if you know remember that. A national shortage. national shortage. Where there was no formula. We posted on our stories. On Instagram. We literally received cans of formulas from people from all over the States. Other countries were looking for this specific it was formula. It was insane. like like Yeah, I forgot about that. You didn't forget about us. You didn't forget about this little girl. She needs it. Yeah.
00:20:44
Speaker
everybody rallied for this girl. we had We had a friend. I think she took an entire day off of work and drove through the entire state of Michigan for eight to 12 hours, collecting different formulas and shipping them. And we had boxes from all of these different states. I remember someone shipped a box from California and had I'll get emotional. Had people write on the box, like we're praying for you. This is my name. We're praying for you.
Church Support During Formula Shortage
00:21:14
Speaker
We're praying for you. And just covered the entire shipping box with prayers um that like God was for her and not against her and that he has a plan. um i totally forgot about that story. Yeah, that was crazy. Thank you for sharing that, Tim. Yeah.
How Can Churches Support Foster Families?
00:21:32
Speaker
I think between both of your stories about the church, your um Your foster adoption story really highlights the church. We are the church. But how they really stepped up to the plate. And so they were so the hands and feet of Jesus to help you and lift your arms and walk with you and just help provide in ways that only God could do through his vessels. Yeah. And so not everybody has such a positive right community. And so I love to hear that. um And I hope this encourages other leaders or pastors who might listen or other parents who might can talk to their churches about how they can be more involved. But I so appreciate you guys being on.
00:22:29
Speaker
Thank you for just pausing in your day with two toddlers. That's not always easy. But I i just pray that anybody who's listening will be encouraged today. We'll just hear your story and hear how the Lord has been woven throughout all of your stories. And especially the two that that went on further to be able to be adopted, your forever family. And I'm just so thankful that you guys took the time to share with our listeners about your
Episode Conclusion and Future Topics
00:23:04
Speaker
stories. So thank you to all of you who are listening, who are watching. this is Pause and Think. And I hope that you join us again because Caitlin is going to be coming back for another episode and sharing more about the ministry side of foster care. But look us up, www.fostercare.org. dot whosemi.org. we'd love to hear your foster and adoption story as well. And even if you're an adult adoptee or an adult um
00:23:41
Speaker
person who has gone through the foster care system, we would just like to walk with you and hear your story as well. So join us next time for Pause and Think.
00:23:55
Speaker
Thanks for joining us for this episode of Pause and Think. For more resources and information, whosami.org.