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Saying Yes: Foster Care, Faith, and the Heart of Advocacy
20 Plays17 days ago
In this heartfelt episode of Pause & Think, host Jackie Darby sits down once again with advocate and foster mom Caitlyn Baten for an eye-opening conversation on the realities of foster care, adoption, and the generational cycles affecting vulnerable families.
Caitlyn shares her family’s journey—how she and her husband stepped into foster care before having biological children, how their faith shaped every “yes,” and the deep conviction that led them to open their home to vulnerable girls.
Together, Jackie and Caitlyn unpack:
- Why foster care is deeply connected to issues like homelessness, trafficking, and mental health
- The mission of Buckner International and its commitment to strengthening families at the root
- The realities of youth who age out of foster care—and why the Church must not forget them
- Practical ways anyone can get involved: mentorship, volunteering, giving, or simply being a safe person
- The global movement of CAFO and the growing call for believers to step into the lives of vulnerable children and young adults
This episode is a powerful reminder that every life matters and that the body of Christ has a role in bringing restoration, stability, and hope to children and families who need it most.
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Transcript
Introduction to Adoption and Parenting
00:00:02
Speaker
We all have a story, and at times we feel we're walking it out alone. Let's pause and think. Join us for honest conversations about adoption and parenting as we lament, encourage, give hope, and explore our true identity and worth in Christ.
00:00:23
Speaker
and welcome back to another episode of Pause and Think. My name is Jackie Darby, and i am so excited to be here today. Because we are back for another episode with Caitlin Bayton. She's from Fort Worth, Texas. and very interesting. I met Caitlin in an elevator in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, because I'm sitting here in Guatemala City. Caitlin right now is in Fort Worth, Texas. But we met in January.
00:00:53
Speaker
in Lancaster, Pennsylvania at a conference called BUILD, amazing conference for any foster and adoption moms. But I just want to welcome Caitlin to this episode.
Caitlin's Foster Care Journey
00:01:06
Speaker
Thank you. So excited to join y'all again and talk more about what it looks like to be an advocate for the foster and adopt community and what that could look like.
00:01:23
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm excited to have you back, Caitlin, because in the previous episode, you and your husband, Tim, were talking about your own personal story. So let's just give a ah quick little recap. So if somebody hasn't watched the first episode, which I highly recommend you go back and listen to, but in case they haven't, just ask go ahead and briefly tell about your story.
00:01:49
Speaker
Yes, my husband and I have been in the foster and adopt space for about four years now, and we have parented three different girls, two of which who've been adopted into our family through foster care and one who is living out reunification. And so we are very passionate about what it looks like to serve vulnerable children and
Role at Buckner International
00:02:17
Speaker
families. I originally brought the conversation about foster care to my husband because I was working in the anti-trafficking space and learned about how connected foster care was to human trafficking as a lot of the survivors that we were serving had spent time in foster care or the child welfare system. And so that's what kind of led us to exploring what it could look like to open our home and our hearts to foster care And so we've been doing that now for years now. And now I work in the foster and adopt space as a church engagement officer for a nonprofit where I get to come alongside local pastors, ministry leaders, and churches to figure out what could benefit their congregation, how to encourage and inspire them to take some movement and empower them to do that through the gospel and other resources that we have.
00:03:16
Speaker
Yes, I love that. And I would like for you to share more about, I know you work for Buckner International.
Buckner's Family Support Mission
00:03:24
Speaker
yeah And so, you know, for, for the listeners who are, who who maybe are watching, um explain more like about Buckner, because I know it's not just, you know, you're based in Fort Worth, but I know there's, it goes far beyond the borders. So yeah, can you explain a little more about, about that?
00:03:45
Speaker
Absolutely. So we are all about living out the gospel, how Jesus laid it out to love and serve vulnerable children, family, and seniors. And so we've been around almost 150 years that started here in Texas, but now we are all over the state of Texas as well as in seven countries as of today. um And originally the roots of Buckner was to serve vulnerable children post-Civil War. There were a lot of orphans and widows and one pastor. felt led to take in a couple kids. And since then, it has now flourished into this legacy of the ministry. But everything that we do here is to help preserve the family.
00:04:34
Speaker
We believe that it is clear in the gospel that God has created a family unit and has such intention and purpose for the family to live out a restored and whole family dynamic. And so while we operate as a child placing agency here in the state of Texas, where we're doing foster care and adoption, we are also working upstream. How can we prevent kids from being removed from their families because of the resources and wraparound services that we're offering family units
00:05:06
Speaker
maybe before they're in crisis, or if they're in crisis, how do we help assist so they don't stay in crisis? Those of us who foster obviously know it can be very generational. And so how do we really start to shift different generations and family units so that that line of foster care is completely severed and this next generation doesn't even have to consider that because the restoration that's taken place at the roots.
00:05:45
Speaker
Yeah, so I love, um I just love the concept and the heart of of the ministry. So what I'm hearing, you guys go to the root. Not only are you ministering to the vulnerable kids, you're really trying to go to the root of the issues and stop those generational situations from happening and seeing how you can even minister to the family as a whole. yeah And that's so important because if the family, if the parents can be ministered to then possibly the child would not have to be separated from their biological family and go through the foster care system and ultimately be eligible for adoption. So that's just so good. I love the heart of the ministry.
Choosing to Foster First
00:06:36
Speaker
And really admire you because not only are you living it out, you and Tim, you're living out your personal story. And one thing I want to tell the listeners, we had this in our conversation off camera. You told me at one time that, you know, a lot of people, a lot of couples will say like, oh, well, let's have our own biologicals first and then we'll consider. But you guys just dove in before even had any biologicals. And so I love that. you want to tell a little more about that?
00:07:14
Speaker
Absolutely. i mean, when you are hearing real testimonies and real stories that children, both infants all the way up to teens, sometimes more often than not are sleeping in CPS offices or are sleeping in overcrowded group homes because there's no one to respond or answer the call.
00:07:40
Speaker
For us personally, when we looked around this home that the Lord had given us with these empty guest bedrooms, it was just a constant reminder of we have the space, we have the capacity, we have the community that will wrap around us. How could we not just step into it now? How could we not say yes? And i think sometimes sometimes When I speak with people, they say, just it's just not the season. It's just not right now, maybe later. And we continue to push things off on when things make sense. But that's not how the gospel works. If you look in the New Testament, when Jesus is with people, it's an immediate response. It's an immediate decision to follow him and say, yes, this is what I have. This is who I want to follow. And so whatever next step you put in my path, I'm going to respond immediately. And so for our family, that just looked like taking that first step and going to an intro meeting, taking that next step and sitting with a foster family to hear their testimony and taking another step. And we so clearly saw the Lord provide and meet every step of the way because he just asks for our obedience and our yes.
00:08:57
Speaker
And I'm just so thankful. And a phrase we often say is we could have missed this. And I am just... It's not about us. It's all about what he's shown us and taught us through that. And i am so thankful that we gave a yes when we did, because I can't imagine the last five years, even in the heartache, even in the chaos, we it's just shaped who we are today as believers and sons and daughters of Jesus. so Yes.
CAFO Conference Insights
00:09:25
Speaker
Amen. That's so good.
00:09:26
Speaker
um Okay. So we just seen each other Houston. in houston Yes. At another really, really amazing conference.
00:09:37
Speaker
And it's called CAFO, which represents Christian Alliance for the Orphans. And it's a huge movement in the United States, just um mobilizing the church. When I say the church, I'm talking worldwide. And I just felt like I was at a big missions conference amongst people from all over the world. um coming together because they have a heart and a passion for vulnerable children. And so we were just there together in the very first CAFO conference that I attended.
00:10:12
Speaker
I have to say the biggest takeaway I had from it was in the area of foster care. And it wasn't just foster care with babies and little children. But hearing the stories of these adult kids who have aged out of foster care, that blew me away because I was adopted as a baby.
00:10:40
Speaker
um Like your girls, they're they're little. they Ever since they've been little, you know they came into your home as foster kids, but you love them and you adopted them. But there's...
00:10:54
Speaker
adult kids now who never were adopted. yeah And I felt like God just opened my eyes to that whole area of aged out foster kids. And with you working in this space in Buckner, can you explain to a listener, you know, to the listeners about aged out foster care, just explain a little more about it so they understand.
00:11:20
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. I've had such a privilege of building relationships with ah former foster youth and listening to their stories and their testimonies. um And it's really helped shape just an appreciation for the proactiveness that is occurring at Buckner University. and the different resources. But essentially what I share with churches and other people is that if you are passionate about homelessness, if you are passionate about ending human trafficking, if you're passionate about seeing suicide rates decrease decrease or depression decrease, all of these different areas of passion, they are all connected to foster care. And especially for those who age out of the system and
00:12:09
Speaker
It is just crazy to think that we are putting Band-Aids up the road on all of these different things when there are young adults that could use support and community and different resources to help, again, work upstream and kind of change the course of their lives and where they're headed. and so I am so thankful for the different resources Buckner has while we have housing for young ladies who've aged out of care as kind of an independent um residency where they can have someone who's in their corner.
00:12:47
Speaker
You know, they can meet with a counselor. They can meet with people who are help setting a game plan while also going to school and changing the trajectory of their life there. And we have a program called Next Steps that does that here in the Metroplex here in Dallas, where they can fail and have a safety net, where it's a safe place to fail is what we like to say. And we have different programs all throughout the state of Texas that are helping fostering youth independence and It's maybe not a residency program, but these youth who've aged out can meet with our team and work on a FAFSA if they're applying for college. Or how do i open up a bank account? Or how do I start a lease on an apartment? Because they might not have people in their community. And so what I love is that Buckner is wrapping alongside these kids, even if they were never
Supporting Aged-Out Foster Youth
00:13:40
Speaker
in Buckner's care, right? We see each person with dignity and value that they might need a little bit of extra support. I know for me, i was not prepared to do any of that at 18. So I cannot fathom having a background that has been filled maybe with trauma and loss and discouragement and then being expected the day you turn 18 for some kids.
00:14:06
Speaker
to okay go do it on your own, go get an apartment, go figure out transportation, go figure out all of these different things. Even with resources that the state might provide, um we sometimes need direction, sometimes need boundaries and insight so that you don't go blow all of your money on a car, for instance. And so what I love is that we help wrap around, make some game plans, and so that these young adults can really thrive and set up a future path that won't, again, that generational cycle so that those that follow after them won't end up in the same system.
00:14:47
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. And like I said, I felt like God really opened my eyes at CAFO to the whole aged out foster care process.
00:14:58
Speaker
life of of a kid. And that that really broke my heart. It really, um I just can't imagine going through the whole system until you're 18 years old and still have nobody.
00:15:12
Speaker
Yeah. That broke my heart. And so can you give information, like if somebody's watching and is like, oh my gosh, I think I get help in that area, whether they can maybe be like a family member, you know, maybe they're not feeling called in necessarily to adopt yeah over 18 year old, but how could they um volunteer or yeah give financially yeah or help through the Buckner system? And, and maybe you can also expound because I'm sure because it's Buckner international, I'm sure.
00:15:51
Speaker
Texas isn't the only place you can do it. So if they're in a different state or if they're in a different country, how that happen? Absolutely. One of my favorite volunteers was this woman in West Texas, and she was very passionate about our Fostering Youth Independence Program and something she did, which I think it's so creative and just goes to show you really can serve in any capacity. whatever God has skilled you for or put on your heart, there is a purpose for that. And so this lady was creating binders, essentially like home kits with binders, with different recipes, um different instructions on how to operate like a washer machine or a dishwasher and almost a life skills binder where she was just pouring her heart and soul into a binder that we were able to put in a little tub for youth who might be moving into a new apartment or youth who might be moving into a different residency location where they might not have a motherly or fatherly figure to go and ask different questions. But this young lady, um older lady, she created just a whole system of
00:17:14
Speaker
heart, soul, and care into making a different resource to hand out. And so things as simple as that, or, you know, we constantly are giving out different resources such as bedding or diapers, different gift and kind opportunities that community groups can all collect. And hey, we're going to do a diaper drive because sometimes we have youth who are in our programs who do have younger children and they're figuring out how to parent while also Maybe only 17 or 18 years old and trying to figure out a whole system that they've aged out of. So those are some little different ways.
00:17:52
Speaker
We also have mentorship programs where you can just be a safe person. You don't have to welcome someone into your home and be a foster parent to be a safe person. And so maybe that looks like holidays inviting ah youth who've aged out into your home or, hey, when is your graduation? I'd love to be in the stands or, hey, I heard you joined a basketball league for the city. When is your next game? give Give me your schedule so I could be in the stands cheering you on. And so there are just so many different ways that people can show up and be a safe person that
00:18:29
Speaker
is wanting to help teach skills or wanting to be a listening ear. You know, obviously every organization would greatly welcome donations and gift and kind, but if you're able to be a physical presence and a safe person, that is my favorite thing to advocate for because again, i think we hear a lot of the time someone else will do it. And then when we keep thinking that and saying that, Maybe there isn't someone else. Maybe that someone else is you and you just can really step into that and be that person, be that safe place.
00:19:06
Speaker
There's tons of other organizations that are helping create business opportunities for youth who've aged out where you could support by maybe, maybe it's purchasing a candle that a former foster youth has created a business for, or I'm advocating in different ways where those who are sharing their resources of lived experience through books or podcasts or teaching where, hey, I want to sow into that because you are letting us learn from you. Can I sow into your organization? You know, there's just so many different ways that we can step up and come alongside former foster youth.
00:19:46
Speaker
Yes, that's so
Online Resources and Unified Church Efforts
00:19:48
Speaker
good. And do you have a website? how they could find you? Yes, Buckner.org. You can find both stateside resources as well as our international side of things. And if you are listening and know a youth who might have aged out of foster care on our website at Buckner.org, you can also find our different referral pages so that you can send that resource. Maybe it's being part of our Next Step program here in Dallas or Fostering Youth Independents. You can find all of those referral links on that website as well to pass out to your organization. and again, they don't have to be part of Buckner Children and Family Services. Like this is resources for everyone to utilize, free resources that we are here to just help support.
00:20:39
Speaker
Yeah. And that's so good because, you know, we are the church. Yeah. There's no, you know, denominational, organizational. We don't have all these, you know, boundaries and borders. We just want to work together. yeah And it's all about just touching the lives of vulnerable kids, whether they're aged out.
00:20:59
Speaker
And, you know, like I said, that's where God really touched my heart. Like, you know, everybody wants to cute little babies. But when they get into those really hard teenage, adolescent years or even college or, you know,
00:21:12
Speaker
they're not even in college and trying to figure out how to go to college. You know, young adults really, really need family. yeah And the reason they're in that system is because they've been living the trauma of a very dysfunctional family in many different ways.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:21:30
Speaker
And so um your heart, my heart is to just raise awareness to this whole area of foster care, obviously through Buckner International, who you represent. And also we have resources at whosami.org as well.
00:21:51
Speaker
And our heart is just to encourage, to challenge, to ask the body of Christ, just as be involved somehow, some way, whether you can give, whether you can physically volunteer, come alongside of these young adults, or even if God's touching your heart to become foster parents, we're here to encourage you to raise awareness because every life matters.
00:22:22
Speaker
And the Lord wants us to be part of his family. And people like Caitlin and I are here just to walk alongside of you. So thank you for joining another episode of Pause and Think. and we are so glad that you joined us today. And we hope that you are going away with a lot of food for thought.
00:22:43
Speaker
And we hope you join us again next time.
00:22:48
Speaker
Thanks for joining us for this episode of Pause and Think. For more resources and information, go to whosami.org.