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3. The One With Breanna May
39 Plays14 days ago
In this heartfelt and deeply inspiring conversation, Victoria is joined by her first podcast guest — mindset coach and founder of The Mind School, Breanna May. Together, they dive into emotional intelligence, the shortcomings of the current education system, and why teaching our kids (and ourselves) how to feel, fail and try again matters more than any report card.
Breanna shares her journey from frustrated 20-something to high school teacher to purpose-driven entrepreneur, building programs that help women and children alike level up their lives. Expect laughs, honesty, and more than a few goosebump moments. This one’s a must-listen for parents, teachers, and anyone ready to rethink what learning really means.
Please note, there is mild language used in this episode.
You can find Breanna on her website - https://www.breannamay.com/; and on Instagram - @iambreannamay
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Transcript
Introduction of Brianna May
00:00:37
Victoria R
Hello and welcome back to the Mindful Educator podcast. Now I have a very exciting guest that is going to be joining me very shortly. This is a woman that has single-handedly started creating her own school.
00:00:49
Victoria R
She has got a signature program called Level Up Your Life. um The Mind School is taking off and i am a proud graduate of that school as well. And this woman has single-handedly probably changed my life as well. So Brianna May is going to be joining me very shortly and I can't wait to get stuck into interviewing her and just getting a little bit deeper on some of those subjects that we both have in common.
00:01:16
Victoria R
All right. Thank you guys
Brianna's Journey into Mindset and Emotional Intelligence
00:01:18
Victoria R
for tuning in. I have got Brianna May with me. Welcome, Brianna.
00:01:22
Breanna May
Oh, Big. It's so nice to be here and I feel very honoured.
00:01:26
Victoria R
So, Brie is my first um interview guest for this podcast and I'm so excited that she's agreed to this. So, Brie, I know that, you know, i have done a lot of your courses and bits and pieces over the years.
00:01:37
Victoria R
um You've got your signature program, Level Up Your Life, which you're starting the next round really soon.
00:01:42
Breanna May
a
00:01:42
Victoria R
Also started up the Mind School and I know you've just had a recent cohort graduate only the other week. So I'd love you to tell me, how did you get into this space? How did you decide mindset was what you wanted to focus on and begin doing all this in the first place?
00:01:59
Breanna May
Well, I guess I could say it started it started in my twenty s because from on a personal level, I felt like I spent years and years and years and years just being permanently frustrated that I couldn't or what I thought was i couldn't find my thing.
00:02:22
Breanna May
I couldn't find my thing. And so I was this serial changer, like I'd do a degree and then change to another degree and start this career and then do a different career. And I just kind of felt like I i didn't know who I was and I really wanted to know who I was.
00:02:35
Victoria R
Thank
00:02:36
Breanna May
But what it actually was is that I didn't have the tools or the courage to actually admit to myself that I did know what I wanted. I was just really scared.
00:02:48
Breanna May
And so I'd flip-flop and i luckily and beautifully, divinely found myself in one of my careers in the classroom. So I was a high school teacher and, again, i was just seeing all of these students who I became – so close to and so i cared for them so much. I loved my students more than anything and I actually loved teaching so much.
00:03:15
Breanna May
But as I was watching them all getting ready to graduate year after year after year, I kept thinking like, we're still not giving them the tools that they even need. Like they're not, are we getting them ready? And I could see all of these kids that were becoming more and more put off by learning. They were shutting down by the time they were in year seven. Anxiety was increasing. Literacy and numeracy was going backwards.
00:03:41
Breanna May
And by the time I was graduating them in year 12, I could see these little versions of me who were going into the world, but also didn't give, we didn't give them the tools to yeah lean into courage and know who they are. And all of these things that I also experienced. And so I just went down this huge rabbit hole of Understanding mindset, emotional intelligence, mental wellbeing, mental first aid, because what I found was when we nurture that in kids and in ourselves, everything else falls into place.
From Teaching to Mindset Coaching
00:04:16
Breanna May
And so i left the education system and thought, I want to teach the things that matter. I want to teach the things that helped me the most. And for me, it was all about emotional intelligence and mindset.
00:04:27
Victoria R
Oh, I love this. And yeah, I know that we have a lot of similar views when it comes to things like this as well. um so yeah, it's really interesting to hear how, yeah, that's kind of what sparked that um for you. So in terms of like your emotional intelligence and whatnot, how did you start off trying to, I suppose, teach this to everyone? How did you initially begin?
00:04:49
Breanna May
ah I started off, so actually when I was still a teacher, it became very, the more i researched off my own back, because this is the thing, and I don't think a lot of parents realise this, when you go to uni to become a teacher, you don't get any training teaching
00:05:06
Victoria R
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:05:07
Breanna May
emotional intelligence on resilience training on mental health or anything like that you don't get taught how to ah for example recognize when a child might be in a fight flight response or to see signs that maybe something's going on at home and that's why they're shutting down so i was sort of going off on my own tangent and studying and in And all of that.
00:05:32
Breanna May
And through that, I became extremely passionate about more of the pastoral side of education. I was and i was a senior
Teaching Emotional Intelligence vs. Traditional IQ
00:05:40
Breanna May
English teacher and I loved it I loved it because I love writing and reading and all of that. But I cared more about their hearts and their wellbeing. And I sort of just...
00:05:51
Breanna May
found that the more I nurtured the relationships with the students, the better they would actually perform academically. So my principal started to see this and and so I started going into pastoral roles and putting together like teenage confidence programs and I was taking the girls out and we were talking about, you know, body confidence and the boys are trying to pash me and like just all of that kind of stuff and I loved it.
00:06:15
Victoria R
Love it.
00:06:16
Breanna May
So I started to really professionally move more toward that side of things. And then once, like many teachers, if there's any teachers listening, they might resonate.
00:06:28
Breanna May
Once I'd really cracked the shits with the education system, I left and I decided to become a mindset coach for teenage girls because it just made the most sense. I felt really confident with them.
00:06:38
Victoria R
Thank you.
00:06:41
Breanna May
I was comfortable having all these conversations. I could help them academically, but also socially and emotionally. so For me, it just made sense to start there.
00:06:52
Breanna May
But what was really interesting
00:06:57
Breanna May
that I found as a sort of pattern was I could only go so far helping these teenage girls if they would then go back home and relearn these old patterns, for example, beating up their body or comparing themselves to other girls in the class.
00:07:10
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:07:16
Breanna May
if If I was trying to reprogram that, but then they'd get in the car home from school and um let's say a mum with the best intentions and, you know, doing all of the right things they think then goes, oh, how was your day? How did everyone else go in the test?
00:07:33
Victoria R
yeah
00:07:33
Breanna May
How did they do? How did your friend do? What did she get? And it's just repeating this pattern, this cycle. And so I started to think then I want to help the mums as well.
00:07:44
Victoria R
Yeah. yep
00:07:45
Breanna May
And so then I started running mother-daughter retreats and it sort of just, yes, spiraled from there. Yeah.
00:07:49
Victoria R
Oh, I love it. And I love how it's like organically grown as well. And I know that you've got quite the refut reputation now in the mindset space. I know yeah um obviously you speak of Miss Mindset as well, which I love.
00:07:59
Breanna May
yeah no
00:08:01
Victoria R
oh
00:08:01
Breanna May
I miss that name.
00:08:02
Victoria R
I know, it's such a good name. So did you perfectly.
00:08:04
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:08:04
Victoria R
um And yeah, it is really interesting because I know even myself, I'm finding that as well, like you almost need to get those those two age groups and um those two audiences captured.
00:08:16
Victoria R
in terms of teaching mindset and how to make changes because, yeah, you're right, like there's no point teaching our kids if they're going to go home and it's just going to be those old messages coming through. And so, yeah, it is quite interesting trying to navigate that and to target both.
00:08:26
Breanna May
Hmm.
00:08:31
Breanna May
It really is.
00:08:32
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:08:32
Breanna May
and And even for us as adults, like you've been through it. I've seen you ah so many women and anyone trying to change or improve themselves or grow. It's often the people we love the most, our family, our parents, all of that, that even then we go back to our old behaviours and patterns because it's what we were taught and it's just our our automated ways.
00:08:50
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:08:55
Breanna May
And so if we struggle with it, you know, you're trying to grow, you trying to evolve, but then you go back to your family or back to your friends and you fall back into those old patterns, of course that's what it's like for kids.
00:09:07
Victoria R
yeah
00:09:08
Breanna May
They're going to just go back to whatever they're being programmed with, which is from caregivers.
00:09:11
Victoria R
Yeah. And obviously with the best intentions, most of the time, it's just, yeah, just what ends up happening.
00:09:15
Breanna May
Yeah. Hmm.
00:09:16
Victoria R
Oh, I love this.
00:09:17
Breanna May
Hmm.
00:09:17
Victoria R
I love hearing how, yeah, how much you've evolved and how it's come so far
Criticism of Current Educational Practices
00:09:22
Victoria R
as well. So in terms of education, so yeah I know we get, both of us get a bit passionate about this, but if you only had one thing that you could change in schools, so if right now there's only one thing you can make a change with, what do you reckon it would be?
00:09:38
Breanna May
Oh, Vic, that's so hard.
00:09:40
Victoria R
I know I'm putting you on the spot here.
00:09:40
Breanna May
Oh. okay It's funny. i actually ah think, and this has surprised me, my own answer, but I would actually limit and cap the class sizes. I'd start there.
00:09:54
Breanna May
I would say there should be no longer, no more, sorry, than 16, maybe 18 classes. maybe eighteen students in a class because my first response was actually declutter the curriculum the curriculum is so outdated so irrelevant so jam-packed with stupid standardized tests that mean nothing but get everyone stressed out and don't actually help them later in life but that's another rant oh yeah like it just gets everyone in the worst space and and look
00:10:02
Victoria R
Yep.
00:10:06
Victoria R
Yep.
00:10:17
Victoria R
Some of which are going on at the moment, but yes.
00:10:26
Breanna May
Maybe at some point kids need to be prepared for exam situations and standardized tests and all of that. But when they're in year one, probably not. So yeah my my first response was to oh get rid of theric the overcrowded curriculum, take away standardized tests.
00:10:41
Breanna May
But actually... Even if the curriculum was to remain the same, even if NAPLAN and all of that stuck around and the tests and the exams and all of that, I actually think a teacher, I remember being in classrooms where most of the time I had 32 kids in every single class, no education support.
00:10:58
Victoria R
Yep.
00:11:01
Breanna May
Good luck trying to help the kids who were struggling, let alone expand the gifted and talented, There was absolutely no way. And so if I had a really small class and I could get to know them and spend time with them, I actually think you might have more of a shot at either giving this child what they need emotionally so that they can relax or helping them academically because you've actually got the time and space. And so I actually think I would just put a cap on the class sizes and it almost halve it.
00:11:34
Victoria R
Hmm. Interesting. I like that. Yeah. And I, I ah can see how you're right as well.
00:11:37
Breanna May
o
00:11:39
Victoria R
Cause I know obviously I've been in classrooms as well, where you do have a lot of students and even just, you know, you've got one student that's putting their hand up asking for help. And yeah, as you said, there's others that are finishing and this and that you're kind of all over the place and let alone actually dealing with their emotional needs that might come up as well, if something's happened at home or yeah, so it goes on.
00:11:57
Victoria R
So yeah, definitely.
00:11:58
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:11:58
Victoria R
Yeah. That's
00:11:59
Breanna May
And it was, I remember on my last, I think it was my last year, it was the year where I was like, i actually can't do this anymore. It was a year seven class and, you know, that's their first year of high school.
00:12:10
Breanna May
So they're very, especially like I was very, I love the 10, 11, 12. They're essentially little adults and they've got so much sass and so much.
00:12:17
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:12:20
Breanna May
But year seven, i was like, oh gosh, I feel like I'm a primary school teacher essentially because they're still very child, like they're very young.
00:12:26
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:12:27
Breanna May
And so there's that, but I remember this class of 33, no education support. I had six extremely, like quite high special needs, quite like so many diagnoses.
00:12:39
Breanna May
There was ADHD. There was like every diagnosis you can think of there. It was there. Plus, I had three gifted and talented and i was I had a double class.
00:12:47
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:12:50
Breanna May
So it was two hours after lunch on a Monday. And I just remember thinking, this is absolute madness. But that's another issue. Like now there is so many extra requirements because everyone there are more diagnoses and there is more...
00:13:07
Breanna May
differentiation that needs to happen and all of this and maybe if there was 10 or 12 in a class I could have handled it but 33 like and you're not trained like we're not trained in special needs we're not trained in neurodivergence we're actually not I remember we got like maybe one unit on it when we were at uni and it's like cool that didn't help at all so anyway I'm I'm ranting but the
00:13:13
Victoria R
yeah
00:13:18
Victoria R
Yep.
00:13:26
Victoria R
Yeah. Yeah.
Creation of Mind School and Its Vision
00:13:30
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:13:30
Breanna May
the environment has changed but nothing has changed to evolve or change with it
00:13:36
Victoria R
yeah Yeah, and I know even when I go into the classrooms now, i yeah, a lot of the same sort of thoughts come up as well. And even I know we've spoken about this before, but even kind of getting them at the university level and at the school level, it kind of just needs to be a whole change across the whole board, doesn't it? And it it's a huge thing. And I know your part in it is you've obviously created your own school, which I think is just amazing.
00:14:00
Victoria R
Awesome. ah So you've got the mind school, which is amazing.
00:14:01
Breanna May
yeah
00:14:04
Victoria R
So obviously, a lot of this has come from your experiences, you've been wanting to create um a school that kind of teaches all these sorts of things, emotional intelligence, whatnot.
00:14:04
Breanna May
you
00:14:14
Victoria R
So yeah, tell me about how the mind school definitely came into being and what your plans for it, I guess, like, where can you see it going in the future?
00:14:22
Breanna May
Oh, big question.
00:14:24
Victoria R
I know, I'm throwing you all the big questions today, aren't I?
00:14:24
Breanna May
Such a big question. And like, whoa. Uh, So it's so funny. I always say like, and I ah speak to a lot of people who have had businesses for a long time now and and I mentor some of them and it's like sometimes in business,
00:14:43
Breanna May
You get shiny object syndrome and I'm definitely someone who gets shiny object syndrome very easily because I'm very excitable about lots of different things. But I remember having this full circle moment quite recently because I was redesigning the website and redesigning the MindSchool sales page, all of this.
00:15:01
Breanna May
And I went back to the very first slogan that I ever wrote when I left teaching. This was in 2020. And my Facebook page in 2020, I changed everything. I became Miss Mindset because I wanted to just teach, you know, I was so used to being called Miss.
00:15:18
Breanna May
I wanted to teach mindset. And I said, I dream of a world where we put EQ before IQ. And that was, I was still, I think back and I'm like, ah you were wise in your young age.
00:15:29
Victoria R
I love it.
00:15:30
Breanna May
Like you were, you were so wise. And, but then i sort of went, you know, I did mindset coaching and then bit of business coaching. And like, I went in all these directions. I i learned all these modalities. I learned everything I could to try to help people.
00:15:43
Breanna May
And just the other week, I, I realized again, it's always been about EQ. It's always been about just why can't we put emotional intelligence at the forefront of education, not as an afterthought that you give to some poor teacher who's got no time for it and is stressed out and burnt out herself.
00:16:00
Victoria R
Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:06
Victoria R
yeah
00:16:07
Breanna May
And so i started to see whether it was in business, in a classroom, in corporates, like everywhere that I'd go to train or teach or where I was mentoring, Every problem that we see, whether it's addiction, whether it's mental health problems, whether it's divorce, whether it's DV, whether it's business isn't taking off the way you wanted it to, every single problem that I was helping people with in so many different contexts came back down to an emotional intelligence problem. It was
00:16:38
Breanna May
i can't regulate my emotions so I have addictive tendencies. I self-sabotage. I can't regulate my emotions so I fly off the handle and I become gnarky or I shut down or I shut away, I shut down from my husband or my wife or i can't regulate and understand my emotions so I feel isolated from everyone around me and now I'm lonely and I have mental, like every single thing.
00:16:58
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:16:59
Breanna May
Oh, my business hasn't taken off the way I wanted it to so I've shut down and I've ghosted everyone for six months because I'm in a shame spiral. All of it came back to emotional intelligence. And I thought like, I love school. I love teaching. I just want to teach this. So I and ah' built the mind school because so many people ended up asking me like, how did you, how did you do this?
00:17:23
Breanna May
What is emotional intelligence? How are you teaching this?
00:17:24
Victoria R
Yep.
00:17:25
Breanna May
How do we have a framework to help our kids, to help my clients? And so I just put it into a curriculum because that's what a teacher does, right?
00:17:33
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:17:33
Breanna May
We just build courses.
00:17:33
Victoria R
We're good at that. Yeah.
00:17:36
Breanna May
We're very good at that, I must say
00:17:36
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:17:38
Breanna May
Like we can teach. I remember at one point teaching things that I was, yeah, anyway, won't, yeah. um So I built a curriculum around emotional intelligence and mindset and a called it the Mind School and it just took off quite fast in the first year. And where it's going to go is that like i like I really do dream of it being integrated into schools and I want to do professional development for educators and At the moment, it's for coaches.
00:18:06
Breanna May
It's mostly for coaches and and leaders, but I really want it in every classroom and and business in Australia.
00:18:12
Victoria R
Yeah. I love that. That's so good.
Generational Divide in Emotional Intelligence
00:18:15
Victoria R
And yeah, I totally agree with you as well when you were saying about all those different issues that people have and how it all comes back to emotional intelligence. you're absolutely right. And just the fact that Yeah, it's something that we can be taught from a young age. And if we're given those, suppose, the strategies and the tools on how to firstly identify our emotions, which a lot of people can't do you to begin with, and then also how to deal with them. And, you know, it yeah, it probably would make an absolute world of difference.
00:18:40
Victoria R
And I love the fact that you're wanting to put it into every school as well.
00:18:41
Breanna May
no
00:18:43
Victoria R
That that would be amazing.
00:18:43
Breanna May
ah it would be so amazing but I don't know if I told you actually I think you were listening i went on um talkback radio a little while ago and it was like 6 or something and
00:18:55
Victoria R
Yup.
00:18:57
Breanna May
It's so funny, like for every person who's like, you know, that's what we need. That's what our kids need. This is what teachers need. There's always another person. And it might be a, teacher it might even be a teacher. I've heard it from teachers.
00:19:08
Breanna May
I've heard it from certain leaders in schools. I've heard it from parents. Like, what are you doing with this new age? They say it's new age hippie stuff.
00:19:15
Victoria R
Yup.
00:19:16
Breanna May
And I just laugh because we've obviously got so much of a way to go.
00:19:21
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:19:21
Breanna May
There's still so much. There's a lot of people who think that emotional intelligence is just this made-up word that isn't important, which is hilarious to me, but it means that I'm always going to have a job to do.
00:19:26
Victoria R
yeah
00:19:33
Breanna May
So, yeah, there's always work.
00:19:33
Victoria R
Yeah, definitely. There's always going to be work. I've got to see the positives in it.
00:19:39
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:19:39
Victoria R
Yeah, and it's true.
00:19:40
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:19:40
Victoria R
i think um I think, yeah, that generational gap as well. I know there's there's definitely some divide there.
00:19:48
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:19:48
Victoria R
i know recently had an International Women's Day event in town and, know,
00:19:49
Breanna May
Wow.
00:19:53
Victoria R
There was a lot of um older um generation women and also ah younger ones. And the difference that ah the feedback was from both of us, I thought it was great.
00:19:58
Breanna May
Wow.
00:20:04
Breanna May
yeah
00:20:05
Victoria R
The others probably weren't really ready for it or didn't feel it was relevant to them anymore. And it was just really interesting saying it was all about self-love.
00:20:09
Breanna May
wow
00:20:11
Victoria R
So it was quite um and an interesting one, an interesting topic to to talk about.
00:20:13
Breanna May
wow
00:20:16
Victoria R
And I think the speaker, she did an amazing job. Like I think anyone getting up in front of anyone and...
00:20:19
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:20:22
Victoria R
and talking hats off straight away.
00:20:24
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:20:24
Victoria R
just the feedback, the the very different feedback from both age groups has been really interesting. And I think it's probably much the same with what you're trying to do as well.
00:20:31
Breanna May
Whoa.
00:20:34
Breanna May
And what, the the idea, like self-love isn't relevant past a certain age?
00:20:37
Victoria R
Yeah, I think they were just like, it doesn't apply to them now.
00:20:39
Breanna May
Whoa.
00:20:41
Victoria R
That's what the way they were thinking.
00:20:41
Breanna May
Oh.
00:20:42
Victoria R
And I was like, oh, that actually makes me a little bit sad. Like, yeah.
00:20:45
Breanna May
That's a bit, yeah, I think self-love's important at every age.
00:20:48
Victoria R
Exactly. So, yeah, and it was quite interesting hearing that feedback as well.
00:20:49
Breanna May
Yeah, wow.
00:20:54
Victoria R
Yeah, from the speaker, I was like, oh, okay, well, there you go.
00:20:54
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:20:57
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:20:58
Victoria R
um So, yeah, I think, yeah, you will definitely always have work. So that's a positive.
00:21:03
Breanna May
no
00:21:04
Victoria R
But hopefully as the generations come through and obviously, you know, we're trying to teach our children this and children will teach their children and hopefully the message will we go down and change.
00:21:07
Breanna May
yeah
00:21:13
Breanna May
m I think what I've also found is the people who often say something along the lines of oh emotional intelligence, that's new age, you know, we're becoming soft or in my day we didn't, you know, and we turned out okay, blah, blah, blah.
00:21:30
Breanna May
I think there's this misconception that to teach or prioritize emotional intelligence is to create soft humans. That's what I think that some of the sort of preconceived notion is that we're going to create soft kids, you know, and they're becoming weak and they need to sort of toughen up or whatever that sentiment is.
00:21:54
Breanna May
And I want to make it very, very, very clear. I'm all about building resilient kids. I'm not saying we need to wrap them up in cotton wool at all. In fact, I stand for the opposite.
00:22:09
Breanna May
And so I think people hear emotional intelligence and they go, oh, we've gotten, you know, soft or whatever. I believe we've never needed more, more than ever, we need to give this generation tools because it is hard out there.
00:22:23
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:22:23
Breanna May
Like social media has made things so challenging and I think society swung so far in the direction of make sure we don't shame anyone, make sure the kids don't feel anything bad.
00:22:23
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:22:36
Breanna May
We're so scared of anxiety now.
00:22:37
Victoria R
yeah
00:22:37
Breanna May
We're so scared of every anyone feeling bad that the pendulum swung so far as to make sure that kids never feel bad feelings.
Benefits of Emotional Intelligence over High IQ
00:22:46
Victoria R
yeah
00:22:46
Breanna May
Let's not make like to to protect them from ever feeling anxiety or disappointment or shame or embarrassment. Let's take away all of it. Let's give everyone a participation badge and let's no longer keep scores at junior school sports because everybody's a winner.
00:23:00
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:23:02
Breanna May
And let's not give the kids the lead role in the drama play because everyone gets to be the main star.
00:23:08
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:23:09
Breanna May
And I'm like, no no no no, no, no, That's actually creating more problems more Emotional intelligence is I can handle disappointment. I can handle failure. I can handle this scary thing. I can handle it because if you can't do it as a kid, how on earth are you going out into the real adult world when you've had no experience managing those, quote, negative emotions?
00:23:31
Breanna May
And I think think what I've found is people have got a misconception that and and when we prioritize emotional intelligence, we're creating weak kids and And what the intention is, is to create really strong kids who can actually, who can thrive within hard times.
00:23:50
Victoria R
Yeah, definitely. And yeah, like you so it's the actual opposite that we're trying to create here.
00:23:52
Breanna May
Mm.
00:23:54
Victoria R
And as you said, yeah, resilience and even just that courage to get back up and try things again and whatnot. Like it's, yeah, all those are skills that you need to learn and need to be aware of because it's going to happen in life.
00:24:00
Breanna May
Mm.
00:24:04
Victoria R
Like as you know, you and I both know, there's always personal struggles that come through, professional struggles.
00:24:06
Breanna May
Mm.
00:24:10
Victoria R
And I find that really interesting because emotional intelligence is also, one of the things that if you, especially if you're in the corporate world, there's a really big emphasis on it. And pretty much any leader has very high emotional intelligence.
00:24:22
Victoria R
And that's the thing that has got them into that position. And if you don't have the training in it, you'll get the training in it. So it's like, why are people not seeing that?
00:24:27
Breanna May
Yes. Yes.
00:24:31
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:24:31
Breanna May
I don't understand.
00:24:33
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:24:33
Breanna May
And there was actually a study that I love. There's this study and it was two focus groups and they were tracked from school into adulthood, career, all of that. And they were tracking different success metrics.
00:24:45
Breanna May
And one control group was the ah IQ group. So the really book smart group really like did well, performed academically,
00:24:48
Victoria R
Yep.
00:24:53
Breanna May
got high grades, went, you know, did all of the right things.
00:24:55
Victoria R
Yep.
00:24:56
Breanna May
And the other group was, quote, the likeable kids, like the, you know, you know the ones, there's a couple in every class. They're probably not as sharp, but they're so charismatic.
00:25:07
Victoria R
Yep.
00:25:07
Breanna May
They've got banter. They're funny. They make you laugh. And ah time and time and time again, it was actually the likable cohort, the more likable students who fared better in adult life because they got they did better um financially, professionally, all of these things.
00:25:27
Breanna May
Because exactly like you said, you've actually got to be likable and be able to connect with, engage with, understand humans and their emotions and
00:25:36
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:25:37
Breanna May
to do really well after school. So again, it just goes back to my whole argument that why don't we prioritize EQ, not only because it does actually result in more success, happiness and fulfillment after school, but also I think when actually I know because the research suggests also when you prioritize EQ, you're more able to access your IQ.
00:25:43
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:26:04
Breanna May
Because what happens when kids go into exams and they're having a bit of anxiety and they can't regulate themselves? They flunk.
00:26:10
Victoria R
Yeah. Even if they've got the knowledge, if they can't access it during that time, yeah.
00:26:11
Breanna May
So it's...
00:26:15
Breanna May
Yeah, and then it's like it was all an EQ problem to begin with.
00:26:18
Victoria R
Hmm.
00:26:18
Breanna May
It's like, well, they couldn't regulate their emotions. They couldn't regulate their stress. They had too much pressure on themselves and so they went into fight-flight response. Everything went out of their head and then they performed badly.
00:26:29
Breanna May
It's not an IQ problem. It's an EQ problem. So why aren't we putting that on the grid line next to literacy and numeracy?
00:26:31
Victoria R
Hmm.
00:26:36
Victoria R
Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely
Systemic Challenges in Education
00:26:38
Victoria R
right. And now that you're thinking about I mean, I obviously think back, I know I was definitely one of those stressy students when it came to things like that. So for me, learning over the years how to make sure my mind is working kind of with me, for me, not against me has been a big thing for me. Like,
00:26:54
Victoria R
it's been a big lesson.
00:26:54
Breanna May
Mm. Mm.
00:26:55
Victoria R
So, yeah, I think definitely if we taught that in schools, if we were able to teach the teachers that they could then teach the students. And know I know there's a lot of amazing teachers out there that are trying, but there's obviously so many constraints within the curriculum that, yeah, sometimes it's a little bit tricky. Yeah.
00:27:14
Breanna May
Oh, I know. And I honestly, if someone like me, i remember when I was a full-time teacher, someone like me came into my room and said, you've got to start teaching this, I would have punched them.
00:27:23
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:27:23
Breanna May
I would have wanted to slap them across the face and going, cool, with what time?
00:27:27
Victoria R
Yeah. Where's that going to fit?
00:27:28
Breanna May
With what, where the hell am I fitting this? What more, like more training, more things for me to do more reports for me to write.
00:27:34
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:27:35
Breanna May
Teachers actually are stretched so thin. So I don't blame them for going, Yeah, cute. Like that that would be nice. But in the system as it currently is, there's no room for it.
00:27:41
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:27:45
Breanna May
So i don't want to add more curriculum at all until we address the big fat problem of there's not enough time and there's not enough space for it to happen.
00:27:52
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:27:55
Breanna May
So like you sort of said before, I think it's so systemic, but i'm I'm very grateful that there's incredible teachers out there that are trying in these horrible conditions.
00:28:00
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:28:06
Victoria R
I know. And yeah, they definitely are trying.
The Level Up Your Life Program
00:28:08
Victoria R
um
00:28:09
Breanna May
o
00:28:09
Victoria R
I'm gonna change direction a little bit and I wanted to speak to you about level up your life. I love this program. So I have done it a couple of times.
00:28:16
Breanna May
a
00:28:18
Victoria R
so I do enjoy it. So could you tell people, you know, in a nutshell, what Level Up Your Life is about and how, yeah, how works?
00:28:25
Breanna May
many cool level up your life is you know how I said I was frustrated for most of my 20s and I was like what do I want I don't know what I want I don't and I kept feeling like I'd wind up in these scenarios and be like this still isn't it like what am I doing and I'd
00:28:33
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:28:43
Breanna May
I remember I found myself because I did a law degree first and I was in this law firm and I was like going to work and looking at my boss and thinking, ew, like I don't want this life. Please don't give me a promotion.
00:28:54
Breanna May
This is horrible. And I'd done all the right things and I kept just being like, this isn't it, this isn't it, this isn't it.
00:28:55
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:29:01
Breanna May
But I kept saying, I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I want. Problem was, A, I ah hadn't taken the time to really get to know myself and B, if I'm really honest,
00:29:12
Breanna May
I didn't yet have the courage to believe I could design something that was exactly what I wanted.
00:29:18
Victoria R
yeah
00:29:19
Breanna May
And so i went through this whole process, which is essentially the level up your life journal now, where I had to get to know myself and more importantly, know what all the crap was that was stopping me from actually just trying. Like I essentially built this dream life design. I did a dream life design and i was like, okay, if I could have anything, if it could look any way, if I could swap lives with anyone, if I could win a million dollars, $10 million, $5 billion dollars tomorrow,
00:29:48
Breanna May
What would my life look like? And I started to journal and I was like, actually, it's very clear. I knew exactly what I wanted it to look like.
00:29:54
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:29:55
Breanna May
i was like, well, I'd probably bugger off during the winter because I'm not much of a winter person. I would work online. i would do i would do things that I love, which is writing and teaching and speaking.
00:30:06
Breanna May
I'd spend long mornings at the gym and not rush to work. Like I had it so clear.
00:30:11
Victoria R
yeah
00:30:11
Breanna May
And so the issue wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted. The issue was I didn't believe I could create it. And then that brought up all of the mindset stuff that I had to work through. you know, who are you to do that?
00:30:23
Victoria R
yeah
00:30:25
Breanna May
Wanting money makes you a greedy, evil asshole.
00:30:28
Victoria R
yeah
00:30:29
Breanna May
Like I had so many problems, so much stuff. And so I kind of worked through all of that and I, I created exactly like my life now is exactly what I wrote about in that journal years ago.
00:30:42
Breanna May
and so I was like, well, if it worked for me, it can probably work for lots of other people.
00:30:45
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:30:46
Breanna May
And it turns out it can, it it's worked for hundreds of people now because I mean, obviously throughout the years, I also learned how to rewire the subconscious mind and
00:30:48
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:30:56
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:30:56
Breanna May
and all of those things, but it's essentially really figuring out who you are and what you want and then getting rid of the crap that makes you think that you can't have it.
00:31:05
Victoria R
Yeah. And I know for me personally, obviously it has helped me a lot and yeah, I'm working on those goals and things have come to fruition that I wanted to come to fruition, like even doing this now.
00:31:09
Breanna May
know,
00:31:17
Breanna May
i know I'm so proud.
00:31:17
Victoria R
So that's one example. And I think it's really interesting how you said like you hadn't ever wrote down like what you wanted out of your life and how many of us do like so many of us literally just get up every day and go through the motions and kind of end up in
00:31:27
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:31:30
Victoria R
maybe a career or a job that we kind of don't really know how we ended up there, but we kind of figured it would do at the time.
00:31:36
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:31:37
Victoria R
And we're not necessarily loving it, but hey, it pays the bills. So we keep going. And it's just really interesting how when you do stop and take that time and go, is this what I really want? And you have to be really honest with yourself. Like you said, it can be very confronting.
00:31:50
Victoria R
And so many stories come up, as you said, so many excuses trying to get through what your brain is telling you, because obviously our brain doesn't really, or our mind doesn't like us to change either.
00:31:52
Breanna May
yeah
00:32:00
Victoria R
So it wants to stay comfortable. um But I know as soon as pet you've said, as soon as people sign up, they start seeing big changes happen. And it's just amazing that once you kind of put it out there, what actually comes in and starts taking place, it's almost, yeah, it's magical seeing it.
00:32:13
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:32:17
Breanna May
It is really cool.
00:32:17
Victoria R
I love it.
00:32:18
Breanna May
It's so cool. I always love because it's just I think as soon as you just take one step, in a different energy, you start to become more of a match to more of that.
00:32:25
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:32:29
Breanna May
And then you start to notice more opportunities and you've just broken your own, I guess you break your own loop a little bit and you pattern interrupt. And yeah, I love watching.
00:32:41
Breanna May
I mean, there's so many, there's just so many. One of my favorites, I don't know if you remember if you were in a group with what I called her Elsa.
00:32:48
Victoria R
Yes, yeah.
00:32:48
Breanna May
Her name's actually not Elsa, but she just reminded me of the Frozen Princess. And she always dreamed. It was so crazy because I, and this is the other thing, and it all links with like my problems with the education system too.
00:33:02
Breanna May
Like one of the big things that I talk about in Level Up is who were you before the world told you who you should be?
00:33:09
Victoria R
yeah.
00:33:10
Breanna May
And so much of who we believe we should be is programmed when we're at school. Like I've worked with so many different people now who got their really, really destructive, disempowering, limiting belief some way or another from a teacher, you know, like, oh, you're not creative or you're not good at math or don't do that job, you'll hate it or like whatever, just a teacher projecting their stuff onto a kid.
00:33:30
Victoria R
no
00:33:36
Victoria R
yeah
00:33:39
Breanna May
And that then we as adults carry it around. But what this Elsa, I remember ian when we were having this conversation, who were you before the world told you who you should be?
00:33:50
Breanna May
She had this dream and at the time she was a nurse, hated it, burnt out, hated her life but was so scared to change.
00:33:54
Victoria R
yeah yeah
00:33:57
Breanna May
And she had this dream of building this community supplement company for women and children.
00:34:03
Victoria R
yeah
00:34:03
Breanna May
And she'd always had this dream, but it felt like a pipeline and it felt so out of her current reality that she was like, what the hell? Anyway, I got her to go and take out a picture of her as a child as her in her most authentic state.
00:34:16
Victoria R
yeah
00:34:18
Breanna May
And it was so, I get goosebumps because like this little six-year-old her, her dad was a chemist. And so she found this picture of her in her dad's chemist at the back with all these vials and pills.
00:34:30
Breanna May
And like, she was just this lit up little six-year-old girl and she was almost playing pharmacist. Like, and you could just see that like, and she goes, I don't I've just, that's my authentic self.
00:34:35
Victoria R
yeah.
00:34:39
Breanna May
I always loved it. And I loved being with my dad in the pharmacy or whatever.
00:34:40
Victoria R
yeah
00:34:43
Breanna May
And she sent me a picture years later after Level Up of her surrounded by all of her bottles. Like she's she's been in vogue. Her um brand is now stocked in pharmacies all over Australia. She's done incredibly well and she's still only to just getting started.
00:35:00
Breanna May
But she put these two photos next to each other, one of her child self, you know, six surrounded by bottles and pills and potions and
00:35:03
Victoria R
yeah
00:35:07
Breanna May
And then her later on as a 30-year-old woman with this big brand that she'd created and put them next to each other. And it was like she got back to that authentic her and it was all just because she gave herself permission to dream again.
00:35:21
Victoria R
That's so good.
00:35:21
Breanna May
And, oh, I just, yeah, stuff like that makes me so excited. But if you were told at a young age at school, like, whatever, you've picked up a story, then that becomes your truth.
00:35:32
Breanna May
And it's just, yeah, my job is usually to... Yeah, find the book fire the bullshit and call it out.
00:35:38
Victoria R
Yeah. And you're very good at it. oh And you do it in such a loving way as well.
00:35:43
Breanna May
ah
00:35:45
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:35:47
Breanna May
I've been told so many times it's like a loving kick up the arse.
00:35:49
Victoria R
Yes, it is. It definitely
00:35:51
Breanna May
I love you but no.
00:35:52
Victoria R
Yeah. I'll be supportive, but no.
00:35:57
Breanna May
you You're doing the podcast.
00:35:58
Victoria R
Yeah, exactly. oh Oh, that's so good. And yeah, like I said, it's just amazing when we do take that time and create that space ah to get back to who want to be and what comes up and what comes through.
00:36:09
Breanna May
um Yeah.
00:36:11
Victoria R
And oh you must be so proud as well, like seeing all these transformations, like everything yourself, like that's, that's from what you've created, what you've started, like in the momentum that it's gained.
00:36:12
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:36:23
Victoria R
That's something that's amazing for you.
00:36:23
Breanna May
It's pretty cool.
00:36:25
Victoria R
aye
00:36:25
Breanna May
Yeah. It's very cool. I really try. Like I obviously it's, it's a constant, you've got to be so conscious that your ego doesn't get, Oh yeah, look what I did.
00:36:31
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:36:33
Breanna May
Cause I'm like, they did it. Like, you know, they're the ones that created it. I put it together. Luckily, because I learned how to be a teacher, honestly, like being a teacher was the greatest gift of my whole life.
00:36:41
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:36:46
Breanna May
And I think I've got so much to thank for my years in the classroom because all of these programs I put together now
00:36:46
Victoria R
Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:54
Breanna May
It does feel like that's second nature.
00:36:56
Victoria R
yeah
00:36:57
Breanna May
So i get really excited too when I see lots of teachers who want to give it a go, you know, start putting online courses out there or teaching masterclasses or whatever. It's just so exciting because like yourself, I think teachers have just got this really beautiful way to understand people but put information in a way that makes sense to people.
00:37:17
Victoria R
Hopefully. That's the idea.
00:37:18
Breanna May
Yeah. Yeah. yeah
00:37:21
Victoria R
Fingers crossed it comes across that way.
00:37:24
Victoria R
Oh, cool. Oh, love this so much. Oh, thank you so much, Brie, for coming on. And before we finish up, I do have one final question for you. So if you could leave um the people listening with just one piece of advice, what would that be?
00:37:33
Breanna May
Yes.
00:37:45
Breanna May
Okay. It would be to take the time to ask yourself the question and you can do it with your partner. You can do it with your best friend. You can do it in your journal.
A Life-Changing Question for Self-Discovery
00:37:54
Breanna May
If I had a genie in a bottle,
00:37:57
Breanna May
right now. And the genie in a bottle was going to give me everything that I wrote down on this page or everything that I said out loud right now for the next two minutes. What would I wish for? Because that question was the question that changed my whole life.
00:38:11
Breanna May
And I ah use it all the time, all the time. Even i remember not long after COVID, my husband and I were, and you know, Paul, it's so funny, such a small world.
00:38:20
Victoria R
yeah and
00:38:21
Breanna May
Perth is so small. So Paul knew you from when you were both 15, 16, working as lifeguards or something.
00:38:27
Victoria R
yeah we're both lifeguards yeah
00:38:29
Breanna May
So crazy. Yeah. So I was chatting to lifeguard Paul, who's now a fireman, Paul. And I was like, well, what do we do if we won the lotto? Because we always have this chat. We always have this conversation.
00:38:39
Breanna May
Like everyone does it. Oh, if I won the lotto, like one Powerball, whatever.
00:38:42
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:38:43
Breanna May
And I was like, We both said if we won the lotto tomorrow, we would pack our bags and we'd cycle across Europe. we just We've always wanted to cycle across Europe. And in that moment, i was like, well, that's stupid. Why aren't we just doing it? Like we could just do it.
00:38:58
Breanna May
and Paul was like, no, he's one of your here you go again. and so that's exactly what we did. We spent that year cycling around Europe. on bicycles and it was like, well, why do we wait? Like, why do we wait?
00:39:12
Breanna May
And so that question would be my advice to everyone and do it every year because you change so much. You change when you've had kids and when your kids have grown up and our our values change. So constantly asking that question, like if the answer was yes and I could have anything I wanted, what would I ask for?
00:39:27
Breanna May
And then deeper than that, well, why aren't I doing something about it? Hmm.
00:39:31
Victoria R
Oh, I love that. Love it.
00:39:34
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:39:34
Victoria R
And it's true, like such a thought-provoking question. I know that's helped me as well get really clear on a lot of stuff too.
00:39:39
Breanna May
e a yeah because I got addicted was like that was really cool but now every time I say to Paul hey babe he's like oh fuck no please stop just stop it's so funny I think like yeah opposites definitely attract because he would happily stay home and you know I just yeah not that way yin and yang yeah yeah
00:39:40
Victoria R
And I love that you didn't wait, that you went and did the um cycling around Europe. You've done it a couple of times now. Yeah.
00:39:48
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:39:53
Victoria R
What now? Yeah.
00:40:00
Victoria R
yeah
00:40:04
Victoria R
Yin-Ti Yang. I love it. Oh, thank
Brianna's Social Media and Future Plans
00:40:08
Victoria R
you. So how can people find you and, yeah, where where are you hanging out, please, Ray?
00:40:13
Breanna May
I'm mostly hanging out on Instagram. I think I'm going to start TikTok soon. I think I'm going to start TikTok, but it's just going to be my fertility journey.
00:40:17
Victoria R
Ooh.
00:40:21
Victoria R
Yep.
00:40:21
Breanna May
I want to document it, but I've felt like my business page isn't quite it.
00:40:25
Victoria R
Yep.
00:40:25
Breanna May
So um yeah, that's a whole nother story. So Instagram is all of the level up mind school stuff and it's I am Brianna May.
00:40:32
Victoria R
Yep.
00:40:34
Breanna May
And then I think I'm going to start TikTok soon and just share my me being a little bit of a mess sometimes because that's the truth like you can be yeah you can be a strong and you know have a strong mindset and all this emotional intelligence skills but also you're a human and sometimes it's hard so I like to share both
00:40:40
Victoria R
Which we all are.
00:40:51
Victoria R
Yeah. And I love that. and I've always loved that about you as well. You're not afraid to to show us all sides of you and to share us the journey with us with everything that you've done. And we really appreciate it because it helps us as well.
00:41:00
Breanna May
yeah
00:41:02
Victoria R
So yeah.
00:41:03
Breanna May
Oh, thank you, Vic. I'm so proud of you. This is so, this is like testament to like you've done the work and you've
Conclusion and Gratitude
00:41:10
Breanna May
done it when it's hard and you've kept showing up and kept showing up and kept showing up.
00:41:14
Breanna May
And this for you is like a big thing and I'm just really proud of you.
00:41:17
Victoria R
Yeah. Oh, thank you. And thank you for helping me to get to this point as well.
00:41:20
Breanna May
Yeah.
00:41:23
Victoria R
All the, all the things.
00:41:23
Breanna May
I'm excited.
00:41:25
Victoria R
Yeah.
00:41:25
Breanna May
You're such a wealth of knowledge. People are going to get a lot from this podcast.
00:41:28
Victoria R
Oh, thanks, Brie. I appreciate it. Oh, thank you.
00:41:31
Breanna May
Thanks, Vic.