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11. The One Where I Hide the iPad
32 Plays2 months ago
🧠 Episode Summary:
In today’s episode of The Mindful Educator Podcast, Victoria dives into the ever-evolving topic of technology—how it's shaping our lives as adults and how it’s impacting our children. This is a real, raw conversation full of personal experiences, honest reflections, and the challenges of setting healthy boundaries in a tech-driven world.
From trying to reduce screen time at night, to using a lockbox for the kids’ devices, to navigating school tech use and those inevitable post-screen-time meltdowns—Victoria covers it all. You’ll also hear how she's working to model mindful tech habits (even when it’s not perfect), and the importance of adapting boundaries that feel right for your own family.
💬 What You'll Hear About:
- Why technology is such a complex topic for modern families
- Victoria’s personal struggles with screen boundaries—and small wins
- Setting intentional tech limits as a parent and business owner
- The ripple effect of adult screen habits on kids
- Managing tech meltdowns and the power of consistent boundaries
- How schools are using iPads and tech in learning
- Encouragement to find what works for your unique family
📌 Key Takeaways:
- There's no “one right way” to do tech at home—what matters is being mindful and intentional.
- Our kids don’t yet have the ability to self-regulate with screens—so it's up to us to lead with love and clear limits.
- Boundaries don’t have to be perfect—they just have to be conscious.
📝 Mentioned Tools & Tips:
- Sleep mode and charging phones outside the bedroom
- Turning off social media notifications
- Lockboxes for kids’ devices
- Setting time limits and screen-free zones (like dinner time!)
- Locking streaming platforms to restrict YouTube/internet access
👂 Tune In If You:
- Feel guilty about how often you check your phone
- Are trying to set healthier screen habits at home
- Want your kids to grow up with a more balanced relationship with tech
- Just need reassurance that you’re not alone in the screen-time struggle
💌 Connect with Victoria:
Got a tech-related question or topic you’d like explored in a future episode? Reach out! Victoria would love to hear your thoughts, challenges, or what’s working for you.
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Transcript
Introduction to Technology's Impact on Family Life
00:00:37
Victoria R
Hello everybody, welcome back to the Mindful Educator Podcast. ah Today i am going to be chatting about technology and i am going to preface this by saying i have got a lot of different thoughts on this and I could be a little bit all over the place with this episode today. So I do apologize if that's what happens.
00:00:58
Victoria R
But I've got a lot of different things that I want to discuss in terms of technology because it is a huge topic. It is a huge topic for us as adults. It's a huge topic when it comes to our children in our world.
00:01:11
Victoria R
And
Personal Tech Habits and Boundary Challenges
00:01:12
Victoria R
it's really an interesting one to try and navigate. So I kind of want to discuss today our own technology use. And I also want to touch a little bit on technology use with our children in our lives.
00:01:27
Victoria R
And I may um even do a follow-up episode on this because I think there's probably going to be a little bit too much to get through in just one. So let's talk about technology for ourselves.
00:01:39
Victoria R
All right. Technology is... it It's part of our world today. This is the modern world. This is what we're dealing with. How do we navigate our own technology use in a healthy way?
00:01:55
Victoria R
How do we do that?
00:01:58
Victoria R
So much of what we do is on our phones. Let's be honest. We've got our messages in our phone that that can actually be used for what the phone is for. But a lot of us have businesses that are online.
00:02:11
Victoria R
So again, we're using our technology there. We've got emails constantly coming through. Notifications from school or daycare often come through our phone. it goes on and on.
00:02:22
Victoria R
It's our social life. It's our working life. There is no no surprise that our phones and technology is such a big thing for us. So how do we set healthy boundaries around that? How do we ensure that the technology is not actually taking over our life, which sometimes it can feel like?
Strategies for Setting Tech Boundaries
00:02:45
Victoria R
So for me personally, I'll be completely transparent here. I do struggle with this a lot. So I've got two businesses that rely on technology.
00:02:57
Victoria R
So my husband's business, I am doing a lot of the admin. So a lot of the admin does involve obviously emails, ensuring that they're responded to in a timely manner or forwarded on or actioned.
00:03:08
Victoria R
so that the jobs can be completed. So I do need to have my phone on me a lot of the time. And then there's my own business, which is pretty much all online. So apart from what I do in my local town, advertising is online, or my social media is online, which allows the word to get out.
00:03:26
Victoria R
I have um obviously the podcast, which again is online, it goes it goes on and on. So everything that I do for my business is also online. So how on earth am I meant to have healthy boundaries around this when my whole livelihood is based on technology.
00:03:43
Victoria R
So how do I navigate this? And this is something I am still learning how to do. And I'm making a really conscious effort to get better at because I know that I can be very guilty ah being on my phone when I shouldn't be.
00:03:57
Victoria R
So the big thing for me is each night I have started putting my phone in the bathroom to charge. I don't have it beside my bed anymore. right Because I don't want it to be the first thing that I look at in the morning and I don't want it to be the last thing I look at each night.
00:04:15
Victoria R
I am trying to focus on human connection before the screen. Something as simple as that. right Does it always work? No.
00:04:27
Victoria R
If, for example, I'm ah home alone with the kids, I will have my phone beside me in case there's an emergency. All right. But other than that, it will be in the bathroom.
00:04:38
Victoria R
And it's going to be there. I also um put my phone on what's the word sleep mode. I think it is. So from about eight o'clock at night, it goes into sleep mode, which means that I don't get any calls or texts or notifications or anything like that unless I choose to go into my phone and look at it during that time.
00:04:59
Victoria R
um I've also
Minimizing Distractions with Notification Management
00:05:00
Victoria R
started kind of putting my phone on charge earlier in the evening sometimes as well not all the time but this is something I'm trying to do more of the time um because what I've found and what I am finding is if put it ah away and and not just scrolling you know my husband I would sit down like watch a episode or do whatever and then put around the house as long as I'm not kind of looking at it right before bed I've actually been finding I sleep a hell of a lot better funny that and so that's another thing that I have started doing um some nights as well so those things those three things have been really helpful for me in terms of my boundaries with technology
00:05:43
Victoria R
um Another thing I do is I don't have my notifications for social media. um They don't actually come up on my, like on the screen or on my watch or anything like that.
00:05:58
Victoria R
It's only if I go into my phone and I go into the app will they come up um on my phone, which is really handy. So i don't want it to be pinging constantly. The messenger app,
00:06:12
Victoria R
If you do message me, i it's literally I've got to go in and check it. I don't have any notifications for those come through in any other way. um Sometimes that can be a little bit tricky, especially when it's coming to communicating with other parents. So apologies.
00:06:28
Victoria R
um But that's one thing that I found has been really helpful for me. So kind of limiting the amount of pings and notifications that you get throughout the day. The notifications that I have had to leave are the ones for my husband's business.
00:06:42
Victoria R
Those emails I do get notifications for just because I need to be able to action them as soon as possible. So that's where it's a little bit um different.
00:06:54
Victoria R
So again, those boundaries have been quite helpful for me. Does it always work? No.
Establishing Tech-Free Family Times
00:07:03
Victoria R
Does it always stop me from looking at my phone? No.
00:07:06
Victoria R
And I'll admit I am very guilty of that at times, but I am trying to get a hell of a lot better than what I used to be. Another thing that I've tried to start doing is maybe just leaving like my phone in the car or, you know, at the house or whatever might be while I go out and do stuff.
00:07:25
Victoria R
Um, This, as I'm sure you will probably know listening to it, it feels like you're missing a limb because we have become that dependent and that reliant on our phones always being with us.
00:07:38
Victoria R
But one thing that has become really obvious to me, especially the last few years, is just how much my children are noticing it, how much they are aware of the amount of time I spend on my phone,
00:07:55
Victoria R
And then they see that as normal and don't see an issue when they then have a screen in front of them and think of that that's okay for them to be spending that much time on their phone. And one thing I really don't like is phones at the dinner table. It actually kind of does my head in. Um,
00:08:13
Victoria R
And my family know my stance on this. I don't know if my whole family agree with my stance on this, but this is how I feel. I really don't like it. I think for that amount of time, that 20 or 30 minutes or however long we're sitting there, we should be able to have the technology away so that we can actually all speak to each other.
00:08:31
Victoria R
And it also means hopefully, fingers crossed, as my children get older and they get their own phones, that they can see that that is a boundary, that is something that we don't do. We don't have our phones on us when we're having dinner. It is that one sacred time when we have that moment together without technology, without a screen.
00:08:54
Victoria R
Like I said, it doesn't always
Screen Time Effects on Children and Adult Intervention
00:08:55
Victoria R
work, but it is something that I am really pushing for so that we do have, um yeah, that boundary in place for our family. And in terms of technology with my children, oh,
00:09:10
Victoria R
how much fun is it navigating this as a parent? Holy moly. Oh, okay. so this is something that, again, i find it, it's actually really interesting to see the behavior change.
00:09:28
Victoria R
If my children have had too much technology in a day, it can actually be really, really scary. And if you are a parent or even if you're someone who works with children, i would love to know if you have also observed this.
00:09:45
Victoria R
If a child has had too much screen time of whatever sort, whether it be and iPad or an iPhone or ah Switch or a Game Boy or whatever the heck they're playing with, there's so much out there, how has their behaviour changed as a result?
00:10:01
Victoria R
Because for me, the experiences that I have had They can literally lose their minds. Their behavior, their mood swings, it is epic.
00:10:16
Victoria R
There is zero regulation there. And edd is scary to witness at times the effect that these screens can have on our children's minds.
00:10:28
Victoria R
Like it blows my mind as an adult. But is it any surprise? Because as an adult, how many of us are addicted to screens as well? How many of us find that we get that little hit and we always have to constantly check something?
00:10:44
Victoria R
And, you know, we're we're constantly scrolling or, you know, oh, have they replied? Oh, yes, I got a like. Oh, this. Is there any surprise that our children are struggling? Like, honestly, when we think about it like that, of course, they're going to find it difficult.
00:11:00
Victoria R
We've, as adults, our brains are fully developed. For children, their brains don't fully develop until their early 20s. So there any surprise that if they're spending that much time on technology in these early years, that there's going to be massive meltdowns, that there's going to be massive behavior changes? Of course not.
00:11:20
Victoria R
Of course, there's no surprise. Their brain isn't fully developed and we're putting a screen in front of them and expecting them to be able to regulate themselves and understand what's going on when we take that screen away.
00:11:32
Victoria R
Of course, that's going to be hard for them. It's hard for us as adults. And I think once we realize this, it helps put a lot of things into perspective as well. We can go, oh, okay, well, that's why we're having 20 meltdowns a day because they're constantly on ah screen.
00:11:50
Victoria R
And it helps us to put those boundaries in place because they're not quite, they're not old enough, their brains aren't developed enough to be able to put those boundaries in place themselves. And
Managing Children's Screen Time
00:11:59
Victoria R
this is where we as adults, we need to step in.
00:12:01
Victoria R
This is where we do need to enforce those boundaries in a kind of loving way. Am I saying no screens? No, I'm not. All right. I'm not saying that at all. I think in this day and age, screens definitely have a place.
00:12:14
Victoria R
All right. We have to accept the fact that Most things in society are going to require some sort of technology use. All right. We can't get away from that. There's no point trying to hide from it.
00:12:24
Victoria R
But are there ways that we can manage it? Definitely. Definitely. Am I doing all the right things? knows? I wouldn't have a bloody clue if what I'm doing with my kids is actually going to be more help than hindrance. I'm just doing the best with the information that I have at this moment.
00:12:43
Victoria R
And I'm happy to share with you what I do. Whether you agree or disagree, that is totally okay. But I'm doing what I feel and what my husband and i feel is right for our family.
00:12:56
Victoria R
Does it always work? Of course not. We mess up. We get it wrong. There are things that we've kind of had to re-dig and rethink and work out ways around it.
00:13:07
Victoria R
But one of the biggest things that we have done is put a very firm time limit on how much screen use our children have. We had to do this mainly because of the meltdowns that were happening because I got to experience firsthand what was happening if they got too much screen time.
00:13:30
Victoria R
So in our house, um the main things that they love playing on are their Nintendo Switches and we've got TV and the iPad, which I conveniently lose it a lot of the time, AKA, I put it somewhere where they're not going to find it.
00:13:48
Victoria R
um But we do have a lockbox and this lockbox, it's actually from um a company. They make this sort of thing, um And it's literally that it's a box where you lock away your technology.
00:14:01
Victoria R
You can go get a toolbox or something from Bunnings and it will do exactly the same thing. It's just that these ones, um they've got charges and stuff in them as well. so I was like, oh yeah, that's cool. And that was on special. So, you know, i was like, i mean, good bargain.
00:14:16
Victoria R
um So we've got a little lock box and it sits here in the office and I love my children. but Oh my God, they can be crafty. So yeah, It was great. We were using it well.
00:14:28
Victoria R
And then they would keep taking the key, wouldn't they, the little buggers? They'd keep finding where we hid the key and getting into the lockbox. So now I have to hide the key. um But basically, we've got a lockbox.
00:14:41
Victoria R
We don't allow the switches during the week. The reason for that is, again, the meltdowns. Even if they only had a certain amount of time, which they do, we have time limits on how much time they actually have on the Nintendo's.
00:14:56
Victoria R
But if they had that each day, there would still be meltdowns and fights simply because they're coming home from school and their minds have been active all day and then they're still going to be active as they're on these um devices and it wasn't giving them that chance to rest. so we made the kind of decision to not have it during the week.
00:15:15
Victoria R
So weekends, they can have their switches. It is usually limited 30 to 60 minutes each day. that's two days that they can have it.
00:15:26
Victoria R
In saying that, there are some days that, yes, we allow them to have longer. All right. What I usually find though is I need to be prepared. My husband and needs to be prepared for the meltdown that will inevitably follow if we give them extra time.
00:15:43
Victoria R
It is guaranteed. And again, it's just because it's one of those things that when you take something away that is so addictive, of course, there is going to be that meltdown.
00:15:56
Victoria R
It's to be expected. What we try and do though is um is to get them outside as soon as possible. So if they have been on their switches for a little bit longer than normal, we will go across the park, we will go outside, we will get them moving in some way, right? Because obviously when they're on the screens, they've been sitting still for a very long time and they've got energy to burn, which could also be part of the problem they're having the meltdowns too.
00:16:20
Victoria R
So like I said, we're quite... um We're quite actually, we're pretty strict with that. I will be honest. um In terms of TV screen time, this is a bit of a tricky one for us because my kids get up so early.
00:16:36
Victoria R
i don't know if anyone else's kids are the same, but like I'm talking like five, five 30 most mornings. That is normal. I will sometimes leave the remote out for them to be able watch TV and What we have done though is there is a lock.
00:16:53
Victoria R
um I've locked every single TV in the house. I sound like such a technology nerd, don't I? I have locked every screen in the house so that they cannot access YouTube or the internet or any of those um kind of unregulated sort of shows.
00:17:09
Victoria R
So they do have access to the streaming platforms that we have and to normal TV, but we have limited the access to the YouTube and whatnot.
00:17:21
Victoria R
um Was there a bit of a kerfuffle about that? Oh, totally. And like I said, my kids, like this is probably just all kids, but they always find a way around it. So I thought I was really smart, like looking at YouTube, didn't think originally to lock the internet, did I?
00:17:40
Victoria R
So of course they found the back way and got in through the internet because i was like, what, how, like, how are they watching guys? But no, now I've, I've kind of done, you know, mum wised up.
00:17:52
Victoria R
Um,
Home Rules and Safety for Children Online
00:17:53
Victoria R
and I managed to figure out how to lock it all. So every TV in the house, all that sort of stuff is locked. I don't mind them having a little bit of TV in the morning.
00:18:05
Victoria R
They know though, once i tell them so if it's off, it's off. We try and limit it in the afternoon though as well. um We used to always watch maybe one or two episodes of Bluey before bed. We don't even do that now. They just, we just read um each night in bed instead.
00:18:20
Victoria R
So again, it's a very individual thing and it's something that you kind of need to work on with your family and work out what's going to fit in best with your lifestyle. But just know that when it does come to to technology and children, they do not have the skills or the abilities to regulate themselves with it.
00:18:40
Victoria R
And I think we need to understand and recognise that as their primary caregivers, that that has to come and fall on us. um Like I said, we struggle as adults. We can't expect our children to be out to do this when we can't even do it ourselves.
00:18:56
Victoria R
So this is where we do need to put these boundaries in place. So they're the kind of the main things that we do in our house. In terms of the iPad, like I said, I conveniently lose that iPad a heck of a lot because I find the iPad is even worse than the switches and TV because they can access everything on that. And I'm not comfortable with that at all.
00:19:20
Victoria R
um Also, I should point out with all the technology as well, that the rule is that they need to be having it in the living room, so not in our bedrooms. They do sometimes get hold of family members' phones, which I do struggle with a little bit because, again, it's much like the iPad. They access everything. And, of course, they go to YouTube and, of course, they watch the YouTube shorts.
00:19:44
Victoria R
um and they come out with all sorts of weird sayings from whatever the heck they've watched. And I really don't like that because, again, YouTube, that like anyone can put anything on there. It's not regulated. There's at least when you're putting on a TV show, you know that it's gone through the correct processes, you know that it's been given a rating, you know that someone somewhere has made sure it is appropriate, well, semi-appropriate for people to watch.
00:20:10
Victoria R
YouTube isn't like that. um And that's where I ah don't really feel comfortable with them having the iPads and iPhones. But again, yeah, sometimes it it's just one of those things. um We have to just accept the fact that it's not always going to be in our control, especially when other people may be looking after our children.
00:20:30
Victoria R
We can let our intentions be known and what we do or don't prefer. But at the end of the day, if we are entrusting someone else with our child, we we sometimes have to accept the fact that perhaps there may be a little bit more technology use than what we would normally allow.
00:20:45
Victoria R
So that's just something to keep in mind as well. So in terms of school and technology use there is it really depends on the classroom I found and the teacher and how comfortable they are with using technology.
00:21:02
Victoria R
ah iPads are something that is at our school um and I know that the use on those and what is actually on the iPads is always going to be very strict at schools which I love. They're not going to let
Personalized Technology Boundaries
00:21:13
Victoria R
anything on there which shouldn't be and there are so many great educational apps out there that are highly beneficial for our children to be using and although a lot of teachers do use these in the classrooms which is amazing and the kids are so great at using technology and knowing like all the ipads and all the little um tips and tricks that they know they teach me half the time my children they come home and they're like oh mom didn't you know you can just do this this and this i'm like oh no
00:21:43
Victoria R
Thanks. there is definitely a place for it. And like the fact that schools are able to teach them that as well. And that, you know, we can then continue that on at home, provided it's, you know, within reason.
00:21:58
Victoria R
um But like I said, this is a very, it's a very individual thing. The boundaries that you set for yourself and the boundaries that you set for the children in your life are totally up to you.
00:22:09
Victoria R
You might not have an issue with a child being on the screen all day and that is okay. That's your choice. You might not be comfortable with your child having a screen at all. Again, that is okay.
00:22:21
Victoria R
So there's no right or wrong. And in terms
Parenting Challenges with Rapid Tech Evolution
00:22:25
Victoria R
of parenting, it is a mindful out there where there's so much conflicting information and, There's so many opinions about what is right or wrong with technology, same as when it comes to our own technology use, that I think you just need to take everything with a grain of salt and work out what works for you what works for your family.
00:22:46
Victoria R
All right, what what is important to you when it comes to technology? what do you How do you want to see it being used? You know, what feels comfortable for your children?
00:22:57
Victoria R
What feels comfortable for you? you know, and like I said, what I've shared with you is simply what I do. and it's simply what my family does. Am I saying that we've got it right? Of course not. i don't know if we do. Who knows?
00:23:12
Victoria R
We're parenting in a completely new world at the moment. No one else before, you know, i us have had to deal with as much technology as what we're dealing with now. And we're also dealing with technology that is rapidly progressing at an alarming rate. When we think about AI and just even that and how much has changed in the last 12 to 18 months, it is insane.
00:23:35
Victoria R
You know, who knows what we're going to be dealing with in the next 12 to 18 months from now? You know, gosh knows what's already going to be out there. Something that's probably already been developed that hasn't yet been released, but it could be something else that's going to completely change the trajectory of how we're having to put boundaries in place for ourselves and also for our children.
00:23:54
Victoria R
So like I said, there's no right or wrong. It's just making sure that we're informed enough to be to make the best decision for ourselves. So like i said, i
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:24:03
Victoria R
could I could probably talk for a lot longer on this, but I realise I've already been chatting for over 20 minutes.
00:24:09
Victoria R
So this is where I said there probably will be yeah another episode on technology because they're and is yeah it's part of our world. It's part of what we're doing. It's we...
00:24:20
Victoria R
and It just is. it It's the norm. So we've got to find a ways to to kind of deal with that. So hopefully what I've shared with you has given you something to think about, given you a bit of perspective in regards to your own technology use and those of your family.
00:24:37
Victoria R
And if you have any questions, please let me know. If there's anything you'd like me to kind of explore in regards to technology, send us a message. I'm more than happy to look into it. um Like I said, it is something that is progressing super quick.
00:24:52
Victoria R
I'm very um yeah very much a dinosaur when it does come to keeping up with things, but I would do my best um if you do have anything that you'd like to discuss. So ah let me know how you go Let me know what you decide works best for you and I will talk to you all soon. Thanks for joining me today.