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181. Running Through Grief: A Journey of Resilience
84 Plays2 days ago
Marissa Quintero was born in London to a Colombian father and an Indian mother. She was raised in Colombia and moved to the United States 10 years ago with the intention of giving her sons a better life.
Marissa is a domestic violence survivor, a mental health warrior, and an empowered woman. She discovered running about four years ago during a mental health crisis. She has since run two marathons, including the Boston Marathon most recently this year. Marissa is on a personal goal to complete 50 half marathons before she turns 50 and has already completed 13.
She is on a path of self-healing for herself, her sons, and anyone who might be in need.
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Transcript
Introduction to Grief and Hope
00:00:01
Speaker
At some point in 2021,
00:00:06
Speaker
I want to say towards the end of 2021, I knew that I wanted to run for three main causes. One is to raise mental health awareness as I'm a mental health warrior. The other one is to raise domestic violence awareness as I'm a survivor. And the other one is to empower women.
00:00:32
Speaker
And that's what my running journey has been about.
00:00:48
Speaker
This podcast is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives in which we have had major changes and
00:01:05
Speaker
I created this podcast for people to feel a little less hopeless and alone in their own grief process as they hear the stories of others who have had similar
00:01:25
Speaker
Welcome to today's
Marisa Quintero's Inspirational Journey
00:01:27
Speaker
episode. Today, I am chatting with Marisa Quintero, Marissa Quintero. How do I say that? in like the with a quiter How do people say Quintero like that? Am I saying?
00:01:40
Speaker
I don't know. It has been funny because I grew up and everybody says it Quintero, but then I moved to this country and people say Quintero, and I just go with the full. We're both originally from Colombia, and so for us, we usually would we actually speak in Spanish with each other. but in this podcast, we're going to be speaking in English because we both live in the States and the majority of the people that Marisa knows are now here in the in the in the States. And we feel that her story is something that will be moving for a lot of people, especially some of the athletes that you are around a lot.
00:02:25
Speaker
around a lot, Marisa, since you're an athlete yourself and we'll be sharing of how it is you ended up becoming an athlete. Now, something for the listeners to kind of know is that Marisa and I had actually recorded three years ago, over three years ago, we had recorded an episode and before I actually launched it,
00:02:51
Speaker
um another major change and grief experience happened in her life. So her mom had already passed and that that first episode was going to be about that. And then her father ended up passing before I released the episode. So we ended up putting that on hold. And now here we are recording now again with a whole other ah array of life experiences that you've had. Anyway, that was a long introduction. I normally don't do that long of an introduction, so but welcome, Marissa. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful for the opportunity of allowing my voice to be shared with others.
Early Loss and Mental Health Challenges
00:03:38
Speaker
and I do hope that my story
00:03:41
Speaker
serves the purpose of bringing hope and inspiration to whomever ah my voice may reach. So thank you, Kendra. I'm so, so very grateful for you. And I'm so grateful for you and for you being here. And let's back up a little bit and talk about your mom's passing. How old were you when your mom ah died?
00:04:08
Speaker
I was 16 years old and I am the oldest sister of five and it was not only her passing but also as of when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and all of what that journey came with uh taking care of her when she needed to be hospitalized. I was the one staying at the hospital with her at a very young age. She was diagnosed when I was 14 years old um and then you know with her passing um I was pretty much in charge of my household as my dad you know he he worked so and we had no relatives around us so it was just
00:04:59
Speaker
It was just something that happened. um I never paused to think about what I was living. And it wasn't until 2020 when I had my crisis of my mental health and fell in a very deep depression. Did I come to realize that I never had the chance of grieving the sickness and the loss of my mother. So um it has been a roller coaster of emotions throughout the years and unattended emotions that, you know, that's, I guess that eventually life will come to you, knock on your door and say, it's about time you pause.
00:05:56
Speaker
and you work on healing. So this is what I am ah very focused on in the last four years on my self-healing journey.
00:06:09
Speaker
Thank you for sharing that. and And you bring something up that is so important, is that aspect of really untapped grief. You really had not been able to really feel that grief because you were the oldest before. You had to just do life and take care of your siblings and help your dad at that moment. And there was really that That was not even an option almost for you to really feel what you needed to feel. So here is many, many years later, third, probably what 30 years later or so that, or so in 2020, how many years, what year was it that your mom died?
00:06:52
Speaker
In 2020, it was 23 years. ah So 23 years later, and then you start feeling all these emotions. Of course, it's also in the thick of the pandemic. So that also, that the part of also being alone, ah we're at home, we're isolated, a lot of other emotions.
00:07:12
Speaker
ah showed up for a lot of people that didn't even have to do with the part ah itself of the isolation of the pandemic. But then here we are sitting with our thoughts and our emotions and all this bubbles up as well, right? So you ended up making a very big choice as to what it was you were going to do for your mental health. And that completely shifted your whole life. So share with us, and I mentioned you're an athlete as I started the beginning. So share with us, what was this big major shift?
Crisis and Victory in 2020
00:07:54
Speaker
Sure. So besides. having lost my mom at a very young age. um i In 2020, it had been four years of having separated my ex-husband. And also in those last four years, identifying that what I had gone through in my marriage was a whole lot of domestic violence.
00:08:26
Speaker
And when I made the decision of separating, um it was just because one day I said, I cannot have my kids grow up living in a household where this seems to be the normal because it was not the normal. I have two sons in and I didn't want them to grow up thinking that what they were seeing was okay.
00:08:51
Speaker
so In 2020, when the world shut down, um it it was just, I guess, the last little thing that my mind and heart and soul were able to cope with. But I do consider the 2020 was my year of crisis and victory. Because in my willingness
00:09:22
Speaker
to continue to be responsible for my two sons. I knew I had to do something and um i I was in a therapist. I had been seen a therapist for a few years and I'm very grateful for the time that I was able to to see the therapist But then they they they grew very concerned and they put me in contact with my doctor and they said I had to get on medication. And I was refusing to g get on medication because I just didn't want chemicals in my body um until they were like, you have to. So I decided to give it a try. And a whole month went by and I felt no change whatsoever. And by no change, it was I was crying daily.
00:10:12
Speaker
there was there was nothing that helped me not cry. And it was so hard because, you know, my my my kids were fully, have been fully dependent on me with no family in this country and with the isolation. It was like I had nobody to reach out to, nobody that I felt, I'm drowning, please help. I just couldn't because nobody was seeing anyone. And my oldest son who I,
00:10:43
Speaker
honest to God feel he's like an angel. um He would wake up every morning. He would make breakfast for his brother and him and myself and would make sure that both of them were connected on their Chromebooks for school. And he would literally drag me out of bed to make sure I would log in to do my job.
00:11:03
Speaker
And then he slowly started saying, you know, Mom, we need to go out for a walk. Let's go here. We we won't be in contact with people. It's OK, because I was so afraid. You know, at the beginning, like everybody was so afraid of everything. So I slowly started going on walks. And then one day he eventually found a mountain that's nearby to where we live. And he said, Mom, I found this place where we can go and hike. And I promise you, it's it's not difficult. It's very nearby.
00:11:31
Speaker
Please, please, please take us in and we found that place it's gold rock in Hampton and that place is what I consider my sacred place. um It was where a lot of my healing process took place began so.
00:11:52
Speaker
Of course, I was starting to do physical activity, which I had never done. I was never into sports growing up. I had actually wasted two straight years of membership at a gym because I i signed up and it just wasn't my thing, you know? So, but being out just exercising, walking and those short hikes and the contact with nature did something in my brain that I felt like it was helping me and I was maybe getting better feeling inside me that I i don't, I don't know if I can describe as fear or emptiness or tightness. I was just out of balance. So, um, you know, my,
00:12:48
Speaker
After the first month went by of this treatment and I called the doctor and said, I feel no difference. And they were like, okay, we need to double the dosage. So that's what they did. And I said, okay. And after the second month went by and I still felt no difference, I said, I'm not doing this anymore. I don't want more chemicals in my body. I will make sure that I'm going to do whatever it takes to heal and get out of this depression.
00:13:15
Speaker
And I was slowly getting closer with a handful of women who were like mentors, like guides, like the nurturing mother that I had not had since a very young age. And through prayers and endless hours of phone calls where they would just hear me out, allow me to cry, listen to me, gave me some guidance. I slowly started to just come out of that deep sadness and pain that I had been living
00:14:12
Speaker
for so many years without knowing. So fast forward with a colleague of mine, I had also gotten and gotten a promotion in my job right when the pandemic started. So um it was very challenging because there was a part of me that felt so lost not knowing exactly what to do because my my my my training for this new position didn't get completed in person. it It was just hard, you know, we were all just trying to jump onto a new normal that we were not used to and kind of not prepared for. um So, but him and I um
00:14:55
Speaker
worked a lot together and he's been at this company for many, many years. And at some point we friended each other on Facebook. And then he posted a about holiday series training at four run three. And out of curiosity, I just asked him, ah what was that about? And he should, it's it was a running club that they were about to start a 5K, 10K program. um And it was about running. And he said, you know what?
00:15:24
Speaker
you you you should try, you might like it. And I was like, oh, you
Running as a Healing Tool
00:15:29
Speaker
know, okay, why not? I really, I really knew I wanted to heal. And I would do, I would try, you know, I would try stuff to see what what could help me. And October 29, 2020 was the first time that I went to 413.
00:15:50
Speaker
I actually ran a 5K that night. It was raining on a fall night. So it was kind of chilly. But I ran the whole 5K. My friend stayed with me the whole time. And I fell in love with running. And there's no going back for me.
00:16:07
Speaker
So that's how I'm so thankful that you call me an athlete. It's funny because sometimes we are our worst critiques and I kind of don't see myself as an athlete. But that's how I came across of running. And it has been an amazing journey. It has allowed me to discover the woman I didn't know I am.
00:16:37
Speaker
And it has given me tools to realize that I'm stronger than and I think I am. So a lot, a lot of my self-healing and a lot of these becoming the best version of myself has happened thanks to what running has brought to me.
00:17:04
Speaker
Well, it is just so incredible what you have been able to accomplish. You and I have never met in person, Marisa, right? You have met my sister many years ago, but we had never, we've never met, but we were acquaintances on Facebook and seeing what you were doing. And you should eat this you live in the Northeast.
00:17:29
Speaker
Running in the snow, it did not matter, rain or shine, you were out there running because you were running for your life, like literally, like to be alive and to be able to feel who you like when you just said, rediscover who you were. So this dedication that you started implementing started then to heal your so right and to And for you to be able to discover. Tell us a little bit of what it took. like how because you you Was it straight days? Did you take off days? how How was your regimen at the beginning as you were becoming an athlete and learning to become an athlete?
00:18:18
Speaker
So October 29, 2020 was the first time I ran. but few months prior in August I had the first pain episode of gallstones that went undiagnosed so I was rushed to the ER and they didn't diagnose me properly so they sent me back home with all of these painkillers and it took four months and until mid-November to finally see a surgeon who then said, yep, you have gallstones. And my choices were continue to live my life with pain. I had gone through seven pain episodes of pain that I honestly don't even know how I made it through.
00:19:05
Speaker
And after I did go to the ER once and, you know, having to pay a co-pay to be at the ER was not a choice for me seven times. um I was just making it through life with the pain and praying and meditating and lighting candles and oh my goodness, breathing, breathing, breathing and and and reaching out to friends and friends talking me through my pain. I cannot even tell how wild that was, but I had signed up to train for a 10K because since the first day, I just ah ran a 5K. The very first time I went out to run, it was a 5K. I was like, okay, what's next? and Then they'll say, yeah, we're training for a 10K, which will take place the 1st of January of 2021. I had signed up for that.
00:20:03
Speaker
However, I had surgery on, I remember the Tuesday prior to Thanksgiving day of 2020. And because the doctor said, you know, you have two choices. One choice is you just continue to live your life in pain or you have surgery and we remove your gallstones and you're pretty much back to normal.
00:20:24
Speaker
And I was like, oh, I can't live with this pain anymore. I just really cannot. And I don't want to be taking painkillers every time I get the pain. So yep. and and i And I just said, please help me. I cannot take one more pain episode. um So the surgery was scheduled for the following four or five days. It was pretty quick. I'm so grateful that that's how it went.
00:20:48
Speaker
But it was a quick surgery. It went well. I came back home. That was Tuesday prior to Thanksgiving. On the Saturday after Black Friday, ah the pain came back. And I was like, I think this is in my head. Like, how can I have the same pain back when they remove the whole gallbladder? Like, it's impossible.
00:21:12
Speaker
and a friend did come and check on me because she was worried about me and when she came here you know with our masks and everything and her husband and she was like oh my god we have to take you to the ER you're not you don't look well so then again took me to the yeah ER she couldn't stay with me because then again the pandemic and then long story short whatever I don't know if they did a ultrasound or what they do
00:21:43
Speaker
They didn't find anything. They just gave me morphine and sent me back home and wait until Monday to talk to the surgeon. Not even acknowledging that I had just had surgery four or five days prior to that visit. So came back home that Saturday into Sunday. My stomach wasn't holding any food, any liquids, any nothing.
00:22:07
Speaker
Monday, first thing in the morning, I called the surgeon's office, and then he ordered an MRI. Had to wait until Wednesday for the MRI, but thankfully there was an opening that night. They called me, my friend picked me up, took me, and then came back home, had to wait for the MRI results. And then Tuesday morning, my friend came to check on me, and she was like, we're going to lose this girl if the doctor doesn't see her. And she just drove me to the doctor's office,
00:22:37
Speaker
And when the doctor saw me, he looked at my friend and he said, I have to hospitalize her right now. We need to stabilize her. And I remember that I told my friend, please call my dad. Just let him know what's going on. And please, please help me make sure my kids are good.
00:23:05
Speaker
because my kids were here home alone. Thank God a friend just came and picked up my kids, took them to her house and I didn't need to worry about them. They found a bedroom in the hospital, like they had to like rush me up and try to stabilize me because the pain was unbearable.
00:23:30
Speaker
And what ended up happening was that A stone had slipped and gotten stuck in my common billiard duct and caused me an acute pancreatitis. So they had to stabilize me and the day after I had another surgery. But the medication, the pain killer that they gave me when they were trying to stabilize my pain was one of the strongest
00:24:02
Speaker
um narcotics. And the feeling of literally I felt like I was dying. And it should have taken one dose and I should have the pain should have gone away. It took them three doses because the pain would just not go away. And I remember Every time they were like trying to calm me and stabilize the pain, all I was doing in my brain was like, God, I know that your will in my life is bigger than my desire. But I i beg you, please don't take me. I cannot leave my kids behind. I cannot.
00:24:53
Speaker
And I was on repeat mode. Like that's all I could think of, my kids. And I knew the feeling because I had lost my mom at a very young age and I did not want my kids to go through that. And the difference as well was that thank God I had my father when my mom passed. My kids unfortunately or fortunately don't have a responsible father So I was just, I was so afraid. But thank God I was able to go through, you know, a second surgery. It was, I want to say I was hospitalized for a total of three or four days. But I also, while I was there, I was able to hear, there was a patient that had a, an interpreter,
00:25:52
Speaker
because they didn't speak English and it was ahpan a Hispanic speaking patient. And I was listening to the translations and the translations were not word by word. And I felt so powerless, powerless because patients have the right to get all the information in regards to their health. And when I walked out of the hospital I knew that besides praying to God to not take me because I couldn't leave my kids alone, I also asked God to show me what was I to learn from that experience? What what was the lesson that I needed to learn? And as I walked out of the hospital,
00:26:51
Speaker
I knew what was my purpose in life. And it was to serve others. And I wanted to be the voice of those who cannot speak. And that's what I want to be. And I just had this urge and desire of just dropping whatever I was doing and just go full force in doing these of course I couldn't because you know I have my kids and i I am financially responsible for them and myself and so it's it's not like you can just drop whatever you're doing um but as as the 2021 year started and I was slowly starting to heal and I
00:27:49
Speaker
was walking and as soon as I felt strong enough to walk, like December 2020, I was feeling stronger post-surgery. I started to walk, increasing my mileage every day a little bit here and there. Then on January 1st, 2021, I walked the 10K that I had signed up to train for and run. I just walked it. And I knew I was ready for the next step. And the next step was training for a half marathon.
00:28:19
Speaker
And I began to train for it. And as I was training for it, and it was scheduled for May 15th of 2021,
00:28:34
Speaker
10 days prior to that race, I lost my dad to college. And it took everything in me to not give up and to Go ahead with completing that first half marathon.
Advocacy Through Running
00:28:56
Speaker
Because I also in 2021 decided to post a daily positive message on my social media. Cause I was like, you know what? God gave me a second chance and I want to make sure that if there's anything I do in life, may I bring a smile to at least one person on a daily basis?
00:29:30
Speaker
I know that my faith and God's protection and my love for my kids just kept me going.
00:29:49
Speaker
It just kept me going. And at some point in 2021,
00:29:59
Speaker
I want to say towards the end of 2021, I knew that I wanted to run for three main causes. One is to raise mental health awareness as I'm a mental health warrior.
00:30:15
Speaker
The other one is to raise domestic violence awareness as I'm a survivor. And the other one is to empower women. And that's what my running journey has been about. It hasn't been about racing, per se. It has been about what it means to me, what it makes me feel.
00:30:44
Speaker
And it has been about all the connections I've made. I'm part of so many different Facebook running groups. And it has just been amazing how people that you could, quote unquote, consider as strangers, because I don't know them in person. They don't know me in person. Who knows if we'll ever meet in person. But running connects us.
00:31:14
Speaker
having people reach out to me and share that. How much they identify themselves with me, how much they relate to what I have just posted, because I post, I post, I post every day my daily positive message and I post about my running journey, what I'm training for. Um,
00:31:41
Speaker
And it has been very fulfilling because I'm also very honest and raw with my posts. So um it's it's just running running is like my saving grace. Running has been the best therapy, the best medicine,
00:32:12
Speaker
And and it's but running literally makes me feel so much joy that I have promised to myself that I will not allow anyone or anything to get in the middle of running in me. it's it's That is how important and meaningful running is for me. Because running has been your lifesaver, as you said, and it has been your medicine. It has also been, as you said, the way in which you are speaking for these different groups of people that may not have a voice. Domestic violence you know is one of those as that is something you're speaking now
00:33:07
Speaker
for just even with your running, because you're giving that even a name that is just. so ah admirable, everything that you've done and what you've been able to achieve and work through ah ah you know your pain and your grief by choosing to do something about it. You had you made a ah choice and that's something that we we at times don't
00:33:42
Speaker
remember is that grief is something that happens to us, right? It happens, it comes in waves, we so may not have control. But then what we do with that, the mourning process, as they say in English, that we do have ah ah so ah we do have some control over. And in your case, running was that way in which you moved through that grief and that pain and your depression and all that. so that And prayers, and you said you had this group of women as well to support you.
00:34:19
Speaker
Now, what do you think was different at, well, I already, maybe already am answering that question myself just by hearing your story. But here, so it's your, your dad died then in 2021, you had already been running. You still, he died May 5th on May 15th. You still ran that the 10, was it not a 10, it was a half marathon at that point, right? That was a half marathon, the half marathon that you had.
00:34:50
Speaker
your first half marathon on May 15th. And ah what other things have you used as your tools in your grief journey since your dad's passing that are very different than what you probably even had when your mom died?
00:35:10
Speaker
Well, well, running, definitely running, um understanding more um they The power of women coming together, um because I also began to host the Women's Prater Circle, and I've continued to you know keep it going. I still do it online, and so every month that's that's one of the activities that I so look forward to.
00:35:49
Speaker
because it's just but the power of women coming together in prayer. I don't think there are enough words to describe that. um But I i also i also saw have my kids that are my reason. You know, I think that just knowing that I have them and they're these two human beings that I'm responsible to, you know, to raise them, to educate them, to guide them, to give them the tools that are necessary for them to also, you know, walk their own paths and their own journeys. um And I also want them to heal. it It's almost like
00:36:47
Speaker
I didn't have a choice to not take care of myself. in in And i I want to say that my conscience decision of embarking on myself healing journey was more for the healing of my sons than for myself. And I've understood slowly Because then, you know, of course, karyn some parents I went through this would feel guilty of running and leaving my kids at home and how come I'm running instead of cooking their dinner first. and you know But I slowly started to feel the benefits of running and how good I felt. And I knew that
00:37:45
Speaker
I, the only way I could love my kids better is once I started to love myself. And, you know, this saying, you cannot pour off an empty cup. I was so empty inside. Like I, I had been hurting for so many years, so many years without knowing, without being conscious of it. And and it's you know you slowly start feeling like different it it it was just like different like i was this girl like i kind of like look back and i'm like i don't even recognize what him today because if you would have asked me as a kid would i have put myself out there would i have been posting and sharing and
00:38:38
Speaker
interacting with quote-unquote strangers that I don't, they're not strangers anymore for me. They're like my my my running friends, my friends in general. um I would have said, yeah you're crazy. If you would have asked me, what i would I have ever ran a marathon? I would have been like, what are you talking about? What what what is even a marathon? And here I am with,
00:39:07
Speaker
Like training has training for a race, it takes a whole lot. It takes dedication. It takes juggling and balancing life, you know, and the time came and in in you have to learn about nutrition and hydration and proper amounts of sleep and the proper gear. There's so much to eat. um But I also have to make sure I'm available for my kids because my kids come first. But then there's that learning to
00:39:42
Speaker
Yeah, your kids come first, but you need to make sure you're good, which is why putting yourself first is not selfish at all. It is necessary and your kids grow to see who you are. And I've my my oldest son is about to finish his first year of college and the meaningful quick messages here and there, phone calls of him telling me how grateful he is for the day that I took the decision, that I made the decision of working on myself healing has impacted him in a way that he feels he has the tools to cope with
00:40:42
Speaker
been out there on his own. um And and and he he just has moments like this, like he randomly will get a picture of the sunrise and tell me, Mom, I cannot thank you enough because if it wouldn't be for all your hard work,
00:41:01
Speaker
and your efforts and believing in me, I wouldn't be here witnessing the sunrise. And I'm just like, Oh my God. Like I would have never told my kid, Hey, the day you see a sunrise when you're in college, make sure you, you know, you send me this message. It just, it just has come with us living life in, in, in having such a special and strong bond. Both my sons and I have a bond that I,
00:41:30
Speaker
I'm grateful. I feel so blessed and I protect so very much. So um what can I tell you? It's like dealing with the loss of my father has just been so, so different because of the tools that I have now. And I can tell you,
00:41:58
Speaker
The roller coaster of emotions that I've been through this month and preceding my dad's upcoming anniversary, i I wouldn't have been able to handle it how I have been if it weren't for running.
00:42:25
Speaker
I was so moved by what you were sharing about your son, because when you were sharing earlier that he's the one that was dragging you out of bed, almost like, let's walk, let's go up this hill. What was that mountain called again? Headstit? What was it? The first mountain? Goat Rock. Goat Rock? Goat Rock.
00:42:47
Speaker
yeah goat rock okay so when you know the The fact that he actually was the one that even showed you the possibility of what you were capable of doing. and he's the He really was your steward to this this journey.
00:43:06
Speaker
but you know And here he is admiring what you've done, yet really he's the one that got you out of bed and took you outside to nature and got you to see that the the potentiality, your potential by being able to even go up in this mountain. And as you said, you called this mountain, you're almost like a sanctuary almost,
Reflecting on Caregiving Roles
00:43:28
Speaker
right? That that you felt just so connected.
00:43:33
Speaker
it' just ah It's just beautiful. and and And something else that's coming up for me as you're sharing is the part that you at the you know at the age of 14, basically you became a caretaker at the age of 14 because you were here helping take care of your mom when she was ill and then at 16 you're caretaking of your siblings.
00:43:57
Speaker
and that you are now being taken care of by your children and by your group of friends, the support system that you've created, but also by your sell yourself as well, like you said, that self-care, that self-love and pouring into yourself. It's just ah beautiful because it's something that you you had to nourish the little girl in you that wasn't able to really have a childhood. You had to grow up so, so quickly. So it's just incredible. Now, as we're recording at this moment, it's the end of April. By the time it airs, it's probably months down the line and things that we're saying will have already happened.
Goals and Purposeful Racing
00:44:50
Speaker
You
00:44:52
Speaker
Have a goal in mind of what it is you want to accomplish. You've ran two full marathons so far. You've ran 13 half marathons, correct? And now they tell us tell us what your goal is of how many marathons you wish you're planning to run before you turn 50.
00:45:19
Speaker
Yeah, so about marathons, I'm not sure, but I am on a personal goal of completing 50 half marathons before I turn 50. And um I am determined. i I love, I really love being able to be part of different races. in and And when I do these races, I i dedicate them to different causes. you know Some I have dedicated to raise domestic violence awareness, some to raise mental health awareness, some to empower women. ah My upcoming
00:46:02
Speaker
half marathon will take place on Mother's Day. ah It's the Mother's Day half marathon that's ran here in Waitley, Massachusetts. And I'm actually um fundraising for an organization that's called Cancer Connection. And it's an organization that supports cancer patients and and and their you know relatives. in And that's you know another cause it's very dear to me since I lost my mom to breast cancer. um But I'm also part of Team RWB, which is an organization that supports veterans. And as a civilian, um i I have been learning about
00:46:47
Speaker
what veterans have done for this country and I have so much respect for that and all of their sacrifices um as well as understanding how much their service may have impacted not only their physical well-being but as well their mental well-being. So um I work actively in organizing activities to help and help them incorporate into an active and healthy lifestyle. ah So some of my races are also dedicated to veterans. So I do try to run races and make them meaningful per se. And
00:47:39
Speaker
You know, I sometimes, you know, we'll have a goal of, oh, I want to have a PR, which is a personal record because, you know, who doesn't like to be like, oh, I ran this on two or three, four or five minutes faster. You know, that that's a nice sense of accomplishment, but that's not my focus.
00:47:58
Speaker
My focus is what can I do in service of others? What can I do that can help others know that there is hope? And I'm grateful that I have been able to be consistent with running and with all that that takes because you also have to incorporate strength training and you have to incorporate rest days um and in And I've been able to do it because of how much it means to me. and And I also want to not be injured. So I try to, you know, make sure I'm following the advice of, you know, um people that are more experienced, my coach as well. But that consistency,
00:48:52
Speaker
is what has really paid off in allowing me to continue to run and and I've had an amazing physical recovery period post-racist. I just recently ran the Boston Marathon and by the fourth day after the marathon, I was back at running. Of course, taking it easy, easier because my you know my my body's physical is still recovering, but I'm basically back at it. So um it's it's it has just been,
00:49:32
Speaker
What can I say? um as As long as I am able to make sure that my running journey is meaningful, um i'll I'll continue to do it. And that's that's what I'm trying to make sure that I don't lose that focus, making sure that my running journey is meaningful.
00:50:02
Speaker
Marisa, you are just such a beautiful soul and I am just so grateful that you've come on here and shared your story. and shared what it really means to take reins and take control of your life in order to really save your life, which is what you did. So thank you. Now, Marisa, as we start wrapping up, I want to ask you, is there something I have not asked you or that you still want to share with the listeners regarding some words of wisdom regarding grief and their own grief journey?
00:50:42
Speaker
Well, I wouldn't say that you haven't asked, but um one thing that I do want to share is about our our lives need to have a balance you know of of the physical part of it, but also with the spiritual part of it.
00:51:07
Speaker
in however way that looks for everyone. You know, it doesn't look the same. um in And here I am not emphasizing or talking about this in the religious part of things. It's about the discovering, you know, who who you really are and we're more than flesh. were We're much more than just flesh.
00:51:36
Speaker
So, um
00:51:41
Speaker
I just want to say that it is very important that whatever goals we set for us, it's important to have a clearly defined why. Why are we setting those goals? Because In moments where it get difficult, challenging, ugly, our why keeps us going. So as a mental health warrior, as a domestic violence survivor, as a woman who did not believe in what she was capable of doing,
00:52:34
Speaker
Here I am, you know, fast forward. I've been 10 years in this country. i I learned how to drive when I moved here. um I'm raising my two kids by myself. I wouldn't say by myself, but pretty much, you know, I have the help of people, friends that that that have been here believing and supporting me.
00:52:57
Speaker
My oldest son is just about to finish his first year of college. My youngest son is about to finish his first year of middle school. And I just want to say that believing in yourself is something that has to come from within you. Because no matter what anyone tells you, you're the one who needs to believe in yourself. And once you do,
00:53:28
Speaker
Not even the sky is the limit.
00:53:35
Speaker
Perfect words to finish this very inspiring conversations. Marisa, how can people get in touch with you? You mentioned you have a there's a lot of Facebook groups you're a part of. I'll make sure to change share any contact that you have at the bottom here in the show notes.
00:53:56
Speaker
But what what would be a way of people being able to follow your journey? Yeah, I do. I'm very active on both my Facebook and my Instagram accounts. So um on Facebook, I'm just Marisa Quintero. And on Instagram, Marisa on Insta. I can definitely share that with you. um in And I'm open. I'm open and in to to to be there for whomever may need me. um in And I do hope that people feel comfortable in,
00:54:34
Speaker
and you know, I'm grateful for every person who so far has trusted me with their journeys. um But it's, you know, that's,
00:54:47
Speaker
That's when we come to here in life to serve others. And I truly believe that. And I want to make sure that I serve like this is my purpose in life, serving others.
00:55:03
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you so much. Again, this was Marisa Quintero that we had on the podcast and make sure to check out the links that we're sharing below so that you can continue following her journey. And we will be waiting to see if those 50 half marathons by 50, how many years do we have to go for? How? Four years? I don't know.
00:55:27
Speaker
yeah no boy we have a couple more i i'll be turning forty four this year as though oh you're young and you i feel like sometimes to get I didn't realize you were that much younger than Zorana, than my sister. I thought you were the same. So that's why I was saying four was because I was calculating my sister, what my sister's Zorana's age would have been. And so that's ah okay. So we've got some years we've got, if you do 13 half marathons, if you do six half marathons, how how about how how many do you have to do a year to complete?
00:56:00
Speaker
the 50, I'm horrible at math. I have to, you know, I, I believe I have to do five or so, but like last year I ended up doing seven and this year I'm aiming to do six. So, you know, I continue to do them as long as I'm healthy to do them. That's, that's how I'm going about it.
00:56:21
Speaker
Perfect. Perfect. Okay, so we'll be back. How about we'll have you back at 50 when you're 50 and you've completed those 50 half marathons, you come back on on the podcast. That sounds wonderful.
00:56:36
Speaker
that's amazing deal Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you, Kendra. This was wonderful. Thank you so very much. Thank you for sharing.
00:56:54
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief. If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:57:23
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me. And thanks once again for tuning into Grief Gratitude and the Gray in Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.