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202. Grief, Signs & Spiritual Connection with Rebecca Schaper
64 Plays1 month ago
Rebecca Schaper is an author, filmmaker, philanthropist, and mental health advocate. Her new book, “Roses to Rainbow – My Dog Gus in the Aferlife,” is a moving story that includes transcripts of psychic sessions Rebecca had with an animal communicator after the sudden, unexpected passing of her dog – Gus. The book also includes Rebecca’s notes from her daily journal as she responds to both earthly and spiritual guidance from Gus.
She also co-produced and directed the award-winning documentary A Sister’s Call. The film chronicles her mission to bring her brother Call Richmond Jr. back from the depths of homelessness and schizophrenia, all while seeking ways to heal herself and her family from the past. Her memoir The Light in His Soul: Lessons from My Brother’s Schizophrenia recounts the events in the film, supplemented by her intimate personal reflections on recovering from trauma and developing spiritual insight.
Rebecca makes frequent public and media appearances as a spokesperson for mental-health awareness and spiritual development, including presentations to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), Vinfen community-based services, the NYC Mental Health Film Festival, Greenville Mental Hospital, the Canadian Mental Health Association, the First Presbyterian Church in Greenville, and the American Psychiatric Association (APA). She is a supporter of NAMI, as well as benefactor of the Great Plains Foundation for African wildlife conservation, a family-assistance program in Kigali, Rwanda, a children’s school at the Drepung Gomang Monastery in Bhutan, and The Healing Center in Bali. She is also facilitating the global outreach efforts of the Last Inca Shamans Healing Association of Q'ero Nation in the Cusco region of Peru. She helped sponsor the film Ram Dass, Going Home by Derek Peck. She makes her home with her husband Jim in Georgia.
https://www.rebeccaschaper.com/about https://www.facebook.com/RebeccaSchaperAuthor/ https://x.com/rebecca_schaper
Show Highlights:
- A Sister’s Search for Her Lost Brother – Rebecca shares the emotional journey of finding her brother Call after 20 years.
- Navigating Mental Health & Advocacy – How Rebecca’s experience shaped her understanding of schizophrenia, trauma, and support.
- Signs & Synchronicities in Grief – The spiritual connection Rebecca felt with her late dog Gus and how signs continued to show up.
- The Unconditional Love of Pets – How Gus’s presence helped her heal and process layers of grief.
- Transforming Grief Into Purpose – Rebecca’s work in storytelling and advocacy for mental health awareness.
- Honoring Loved Ones Through Action – Turning pain into projects that inspire and educate others.
Contact Kendra Rinaldi https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/
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Transcript
The Transformative Power of Grief
00:00:01
Speaker
You know, grief is a great transformer. And if you can get to the other side, it brings tremendous grief, tremendous strength and awareness and how you come out as a new person, another person.
00:00:21
Speaker
It almost adds a different level of um sympathy, compassion, understanding, and it It just brings more insight and it could guide you to and your purpose, well what what it's all about.
Podcast Introduction: Exploring Grief's Role
00:00:42
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Grief, Gratitude and the Gray in Between podcast. This podcast is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives in which we have had major changes and transitions that literally shake us to the core and make us experience grief.
00:01:05
Speaker
I created this podcast for people to feel a little less hopeless and alone in their own grief process as they hear the stories of others who have had similar journeys.
Meet Rebecca Shaper: Advocate and Storyteller
00:01:17
Speaker
I'm Kendra Rinaldi, your host. Now, let's dive right into today's episode. Welcome to Grief, Gratitude, and the Green Between podcast.
00:01:28
Speaker
Today, I am chatting with Rebecca Shaper. She is an author, a filmmaker, and a mental health advocate. Her latest book, Roses to Rainbows, My Dog Gus in the Afterlife, explores the grief and spiritual connection after an unexpected passing of her beloved dog, Gus.
The Disappearance and Discovery of Carl
00:01:51
Speaker
And we will be talking about that as well as chatting a little bit about her documentary called A Sister's Call, which was a way of her being able to help her brother ah recover from homelessness and schizophrenia and kind of bringing him back into her life.
00:02:12
Speaker
So welcome, Rebecca, to the podcast. Thanks, Kendra, and thank you so much for having me on here. I'm really looking forward to this open conversation, and you can ask whatever you want, because I'm an open book, no pun intended.
00:02:29
Speaker
and ah Like, it it is so, so as I was, as so in all honesty here to the listeners, the focus of the call of this conversation is primarily Roses to Rainbows. And that was really what we're going to be talking about. It's her latest book. And that was the focus of this conversation. But as I was researching a little bit more about Rebecca and found out about this um loss that she had in in a certain way of not seeing her brother for 20 years because of schizophrenia, of him suffering from schizophrenia, um
00:03:06
Speaker
I'm like, oh my gosh, Rebecca, can we please also talk about that? So we are going to see how we intertwine this and how we see where our conversation goes. If by chance we don't get to a certain topic, then we'll have you back on the podcast.
00:03:20
Speaker
That sounds great. I would love that. All right, Rebecca, so how about we start with you sharing about your family dynamics, your upbringing, and then your sibling call, and then we will we'll go from there, and then we'll come to the present and find out more about Roses to Rainbows. That sounds great.
00:03:37
Speaker
All right. yeah Well, um I was born in Atlanta, Georgia. I came from a family of sexual abuse, alcoholism, mental health issues. Both my parents died by suicide.
00:03:51
Speaker
Now, with all that being said, ah had an older brother named Carl, C-A-L-L. c a l l And probably when he was in his first year of college, he disappeared.
00:04:04
Speaker
And i just really feel deep in my soul that he disappeared because he could not take the trauma of everything that went on in our family.
00:04:17
Speaker
And he hit the road. He just left. So with that being said, always knew he was alive, always.
00:04:29
Speaker
And I got married and, you know, had children, but I always was wondering where he was. So fast forward, I started going on all these searches with, I thought, some of the addresses where he may be.
00:04:49
Speaker
And that way I'd have some type of document to say, okay, maybe he's here or maybe he's there. Well, no, that didn't happen throughout 20 years. and But, you know, I had this inner sense that I knew he was alive.
00:05:08
Speaker
ah just knew I just knew. just knew it. So I'll tell you how we found each other by a miracle, okay? Okay. I found out that my brother was actually two and a half hours from Atlanta in a place called Haven of Rest in Anderson, South Carolina.
00:05:28
Speaker
Now, he had been there for a couple of years. And what they do, they have the patients go out and pick up furniture at people's home that want to get rid of it. And they bring it back to their thrift store. And that's how they, you know, that's how they get their income.
00:05:46
Speaker
to help these people who are having health issues. So they went, my brother and another guy went to address, got out of the truck.
00:06:01
Speaker
He walked up the steps, knocked on the door, picked up the furniture, got back in the truck, and he happened to look at the form. And it said, ah won't give you, I won't do the punchline yet, but it said a person's name.
00:06:17
Speaker
So he got back out of the truck and he knocked on the door and he goes, Marge, do you know who I am? i am Rebecca's brother.
00:06:29
Speaker
Marge was my husband's, is my husband's mother. And she lives in the same in that town where he was just. In and Anderson, yes.
00:06:41
Speaker
She said, Marge, she said, Carl, you have no idea. how long your sister has been trying to find you. Come on in, we'll call you. I'll never forget it. It was 11 o'clock in the morning and I'm rarely at home at that time.
00:06:56
Speaker
So the synchronicity of that in the phone call, we were all in line with everything to happen. And so she called me and I went directly up to Anderson, met him in the parking lot of Haven of Rest and just, oh, you know, it just gave a big hug.
00:07:16
Speaker
I just, I just, it was a wonderful, you know you know, reuniting with each other.
Creating 'A Sister's Call': A Healing Journey
00:07:24
Speaker
So then I thought I had this soul calling.
00:07:29
Speaker
It wasn't me, but it was, it was a guidance, a soul calling to do a documentary on my brother to show that my brother has a soul.
00:07:40
Speaker
He's a person. He's an individual. And I want to bring back the memories that I remembered of him and to express that he is a very loving soul.
00:07:52
Speaker
So I asked him if he'd be willing to to do this. And he said, yes, absolutely. It's almost like he was waiting for me to say this. So it took 14 years to film.
00:08:05
Speaker
And we completed the film. And in 2012, he passed away by colon cancer. But We kept going to film festivals and he was, let me backtrack here. He was and incredible on stage when people would ask him questions, but when he had enough, he had enough and he, he got off and that was fine because it but there was so much um that he was picking up because he's very empathic, extremely empathic.
00:08:36
Speaker
And there was just so much he could handle and then he needed to escape. But, He lived and nature. that was his That was his peaceful place, was in nature.
00:08:50
Speaker
And I do believe nature pretty much, I would say like 80% healed him. He just knew how to live off the land. And what he knew, even living off the land, i'm like, how did you know all this stuff?
00:09:09
Speaker
But Wow. wow yeah So let me let me ask you a few questions regarding that. So when you had a feeling that he was alive, yet you really didn't know, and even within that, it's 20 years of not seeing him when he disappeared.
00:09:29
Speaker
How did you handle this you know complicated grief of like and knowing he's alive or feeling he's alive, but at the same time not being able to see him.
00:09:41
Speaker
You as a younger sister, how many years younger are you than he was? I think... ah three and Three? Three. Three. Yeah. You as a younger sister, this is your older brother. Your parents had already died. Like, how did you manage your grief then? Like, what were the tools that you
Spiritual Voices: Beyond Mental Health
00:09:59
Speaker
used? We know you were you write. You have this, i you know, filmmaker is mine.
00:10:04
Speaker
what What did you do? Well, my mother passed away in 1977, and that's when he left. My father died 19... died by suicide in 1988.
00:10:17
Speaker
So there was a 10 year span, but my father knew where he was, but never told me. He caught my brother would come and visit him sometimes and then leave.
00:10:29
Speaker
But my father never told me. So I was in loss. I was like, I had no idea where he is. You know,
00:10:42
Speaker
The best and honest way I can explain it is I, it was annoying, just annoying that I knew he was a alive. That's the best way I can explain it.
00:10:54
Speaker
And I grieved because i wanted to show who the person he was. That's more what I was grieving because I knew at some point through synchronicity, through alignment, when everything was supposed to happen, when it was supposed to happen,
00:11:12
Speaker
we would reunite. But the grieving part was that people really didn't know who he was. So that's more what I was grieving. And ah still to this day, yes, he had some issues.
00:11:28
Speaker
But I still to this day ah that he was not, did not have schizophrenia. I know this may say ah sound a little odd to your audience or or whatever, but this is my truth. This is how I feel this so strongly, is that the voices he was hearing was from and other dimensions because my mother was did the same thing.
00:11:51
Speaker
And I truly believe that there were individuals that didn't know where these voices were come from. And yeah, they probably heard voices that were not good. He told me that they were male voices.
00:12:05
Speaker
And because I was very curious about these voices. And from then i' i that's what I focused on. I didn't focus on his illness, his diagnosis.
00:12:19
Speaker
And he was on a lot of medication because the Greenville Mental Health System, which I got him under, took him under their care. They got him apartment. But i ah the medication flattened him out.
00:12:35
Speaker
and um And I just, you know, what What I love that you took on your yourself you know to this project to be able to do and bring not only awareness of who he was and who he you know he is, at his essence, but also just it brings awareness to all anybody that would see it. I only saw the little you know trailer. I need to know how to be able to watch it the film, like how where you can find it
00:13:07
Speaker
A sister's call? It's Amazon Prime. Oh, it is? Okay. Yeah, but I think there's a rental fee. Oh, it doesn't matter. Yeah, it's been so long ago, and I can't believe it's still running.
00:13:19
Speaker
So I've kind of put that journey behind. you know, behind me, but I'm very open to talk about To talk about it. Well, I i think it i think it it has still an element of how it ties into what you experience now after Gus's passing. And so we'll kind of, ah we'll talk about that in a minute because you mentioned even him having this awareness of of maybe something more, right? That than maybe that was in his um empathy andpath ah um empath component.
00:13:49
Speaker
So with with you being able to create this and for us, as a you know community, as people, like we there is so much misconception and um about homelessness and about mental health. And we we don't know people's stories in general, you know. And so to be able to create something that really brings light as to the people, you know, seeing them for who they are, the you know, they are and you there the story, at the in this case, your brother's story is just so important because we really never really know someone's whole story. So yeah that's um it's beautiful that you that you
Gus's Influence: From Loss to Literary Inspiration
00:14:32
Speaker
did that. And what a labor of love of doing that for 14 years and leaving this legacy.
00:14:37
Speaker
Well, my family embraced him too. I have two daughters um older daughters and a wonderful husband. And at first it was a little iffy because they weren't sure where they, you know, where he stood or his mindset. But once they got to know him, they, they, we embraced him. we We would take him to our beach house and he would come and play games. And it was he, we tried our best for him to interact and live as much as a normal life as possible.
00:15:12
Speaker
Thank you again for for going on this path of that part of the conversation. That documentary is a Sister's Call then. And you are also an advocate for mental health awareness and and and as well.
00:15:25
Speaker
Thank you. Yeah, i another the woman and I from London, we created a podcast. Well, she has her own, but um on mental health issues. And it was 2020. And we started we interviewed a lot of people on the cutting edge of mental health. So there's so much misinformation, like you said, out there. There's so much that has come forward since the documentary. And I'm really happy to see that.
00:15:55
Speaker
I'm really happy to see that people are more opening up because you're right. We don't know people's story. And it's on the outside looking in, you're like, okay, here's this guy sitting on the street. He's a drug addict.
00:16:09
Speaker
um He steals or or whatever. There's kind of that stigma. But that what what I would suggest is let's go a little bit deeper and really see what's going on there.
00:16:23
Speaker
Thank you, Rebecca. Thank you. And thank you for call to Call for having been part of your life and us calling him into this into this podcast, literally Call Calling.
00:16:35
Speaker
Yes, yes. Now, share now with now your current family dynamics and how Gus plays a part in your life and how the his passing changed inspired you to write this book.
00:16:52
Speaker
And these, this is a conversation, really. The book is a conversation, correct? yeah I have not read it yet, but it's a conversation with you and Gus and him telling you that at least that's what I got from the little snippets of what it is ah telling you of the afterlife.
00:17:08
Speaker
So, okay. So um let me just back up here. I just, so I can thread this all the way through. i had no idea how to do a film.
00:17:18
Speaker
None. No, I didn't know how to write a book because I did write another book about my brother called that documentary was a backbone of it. I didn't know how to do that. But also you're not a film. So when you get set onto that, you're not a filmmaker. It was just, yeah was you it was, it was my soul calling and people walked into my life. I did pick up a camera, took one course and started shooting.
00:17:47
Speaker
And I have a, a background on photography, which is a strong hobby, but that was it. I just knew I had to do it because I was called to do it. And when I'm called to do it, I do it.
00:18:00
Speaker
So what I'd like to tell people in your audience, don't be afraid. If, it you know, universe course corrects you, you're like, ah you're going this way, but trust it. So the documentary is the backbone of the book, The Light in His Soul, Lessons from My Brother's Schizophrenia.
00:18:20
Speaker
And I didn't know anything about writing. Gerald Jones, he was a master and helped me out. He lived five minutes away from my daughter in Santa Monica.
00:18:33
Speaker
How about that? I didn't even know that. I mean, I didn't know that. And so everything came to fruition. And that was 2015. Okay.
00:18:44
Speaker
So then fast forward, 2023, our six-year-old a dog named Gus passed away unexpectedly. And that grief was worse than losing my parents.
00:19:01
Speaker
He was my soul dog. And he we had him, we got him at eight months old from Hungary, and he we had him shipped here, or hate to hear.
00:19:14
Speaker
flown here. But the background of that story, how we ended up with Gus is my daughter, who is a huge animal person, she called my husband and I, and we were sitting on the back steps of our house here.
00:19:32
Speaker
And she says, mom and dad, you have got to get this dog. And we're looking at each other. we're like, what do you mean? It'd been seven years before we had a pet. And she said, you have 10 minutes to make this decision.
00:19:46
Speaker
i said, 10 minutes. And she said, yes, because this is his picture on Facebook. You have got to get this dog. And dad and Jim and are sitting there looking at each other and we're like, okay, wait a minute.
00:19:59
Speaker
We got to take a pause here and really think about this. Well, we had 10 minutes to make the decision. It was the best decision we ever made. So he was eight months old at that time. And He just, he was incredible. He he really was.
00:20:17
Speaker
And I do believe that they come into your life for a certain time. And one of the things he told me, it wasn't the ah quantity of time. It was the quality of time.
00:20:30
Speaker
So I, my grief was just, it was, ah it was beyond, excuse me, beyond something I've ever experienced. because you know our our pets, they love us unconditionally. They come in to to teach us a lesson too.
00:20:49
Speaker
So um when he passed away in December 7th of 2023, I thought to myself, I need help here. So I reached out to a pet communicator in January, Sunny Manch. He lives in Australia.
00:21:05
Speaker
We had 10 sessions periodically for eight months. And She was able to tune in to Gus in the afterlife. it was It was incredible. he She said, he is the most incredible dog I have ever worked with.
00:21:20
Speaker
She said, I have learned so much from him. So she would communicate with him, send me the transcripts, or we would talk on the phone. And then I would comment on my comments. But during that time, I just had this innate intuition to just talk.
00:21:38
Speaker
take pictures of memories that Gus and I had together and more or less try to manifest him coming back in my mind, but that, and he would communicate me with me through numerology, through our, through song over the rainbow.
00:21:56
Speaker
And if I can pause right there and and explain why I did the title, cause it ties in, um, One day we were walking on the beach because we love doing stuff on the beach. That was a big adventure time because we have a beach house.
00:22:13
Speaker
He saw a rose sitting straight up on the beach. I mean, how uncommon that? It only rose around. And he goes up and smells it. But that was the day of my birthday.
00:22:25
Speaker
And I thought, what a beautiful gift. Yes. ah And we would always see rainbows together when we'd venture out. So that's why I called it Roses to Rainbows.
00:22:39
Speaker
But that's the song. believe I can't remember the Hawaiian guy's name, but it's that song.
00:22:51
Speaker
i yeah the one from, yeah. The Big Heavy. Yeah, yeah. he just Izzy, Izzy, Izzy. Yes, Izzy something, yes.
00:23:02
Speaker
That song. would come on the most synchronistic time when I would turn on the radio. ah and And that was his way of communicating to me. but Sometimes when I was in my deepest grief, it was like, I'm with you, mom, I'm with you. I'm i'm always here with you.
00:23:20
Speaker
And I felt his presence and he definitely showed me a lot of signs um throughout this journey and still does. Yeah.
00:23:32
Speaker
a i i love I have two, and they're both near me right now. they're but they were both kind of like, mom, because usually it most days, except on podcast days, this is usually when we're walking.
00:23:46
Speaker
So when i record, then we walk it. after or I really have to wake up early and walk them beforehand. So they were kind of like, and I'm like, no, I'm recording. And so then they're right here next to me. So I have to, so i I can completely relate to this um connection One of my oldest, who's eight and a half, she came to us on, um my mom had passed away in nova and ah November of 2016.
00:24:22
Speaker
In December, we put our list, our name on the list for, um and ah in a breeder and and for a litter. And then January, ah they contacted me.
00:24:38
Speaker
Oh, thought that there's like drilling going on in my end, right?
Parallels in Pet Loss: Personal Stories Shared
00:24:43
Speaker
No, that's on your end. Oh, it's a woodpecker on your end. Oh my goodness. I was like, is there drilling? And listen to this.
00:24:54
Speaker
During, when I would go outside in nature, I would always hear that woodpecker thinking Gus was around. so Yeah, I have a huge window that shows the wood. Well, Gus wanted to be. You wanted to interfere.
00:25:09
Speaker
I'm like, I'm literally taking off my headphones. I'm like, is there like maybe they're drilling next door. Oh, my gosh. Oh, that is so funny. You can hear that. Wow. I can hear it. Yes. So the audience can. So now we know. If you guys hear that the, just know it's the woodpecker saying hello.
00:25:27
Speaker
So no, Evie came, I've said this so many times in the podcast, but I'm sharing it with you. But Evie's pickup day, the pickup day from but not a date we had chosen, the the the ah breeder had, was on my mom's birthday, January 20th.
00:25:43
Speaker
So she, for me, is my, she's my therapy, like she's my therapy dog, basically. I feel like. Because it was, because of her, what you know, all the times I had to, like, take her on walks, that and she came to our lives on my mom's birthday.
00:26:02
Speaker
it it It is, yeah, she ah she's my little soulmate. I love my our other dog, who's younger, but She has represented so much to me. So I completely understand this love and connection we have with our pets. And what they, you know, nobody's with you as much as your pets have really in your life. Oh, absolutely. They know you. Oh, boy. They know you. And see, you were in line with that.
00:26:35
Speaker
I just love how all that happens. It's just beautiful. It's it' a beautiful story. And I'm so glad you shared that. Yeah, because for me, that is a connection. and And this is what I tell listeners a lot of times, and is and even when I'm coaching someone, it's like, if you think it's a sign, and if that sign makes you feel good, then take it as a sign.
00:26:57
Speaker
It doesn't matter what others think. yeah If it's something that's connecting you, and if it's helping in your grief journey, take it. So as we as we were talking about signs and all this, all of a sudden, computer...
00:27:10
Speaker
computer our Our thing threw us off. We had to restart. You guys won't notice this because we'll I will be editing, like putting together. But anyhow, it was just like, we're like, well, maybe that's a sign. but if but say yeah Yeah, and I was just saying there's signs everywhere. And then all of a sudden, boom, we couldn't hear each other. but It's like, yeah. so And here's another thing I'd like to add to the piece that you mentioned is listen to your body.
00:27:41
Speaker
is If you feel like, wow, then that's it. Listen to how your body feels if you see a message. And you're right. It's for you. No one else.
00:27:52
Speaker
Be very subtle. it Or you could think, and am I making this up? No. they The more you reach out, the more you're aware, they will come in.
00:28:03
Speaker
i It's through my experience. I know that. That is my truth. Mm-hmm. And how would it, for you, when you started hearing them, you're having the the media connect you and all these, what were some of these messages that Gus shared? Just a little, just share a couple. I know we have to read the book to really know them all.
00:28:26
Speaker
He talked about being in front of the fireplace over a marsh, a fire pit over a marsh, and that was our favorite spot. There's the picture on the book is,
00:28:39
Speaker
he said No, it's this is there's one of the illustrations in the book. He's sitting in my lap. And she talked about something, the seat was red, something about the seat was red.
00:28:50
Speaker
And that was him sitting on my lap. But the fire pit was right in front of us. And there's another picture of of looking out on the marsh.
00:29:00
Speaker
So that was very accurate. Then there was, let's see, how can i condense this? Okay, so i'll my husband and went to Machu Picchu.
00:29:13
Speaker
And on our anniversary, I found the stone heart in right before walking to Machu Picchu. Machu Picchu. hope I pronounced that right. But anyway, it was a stone heart, and I kept it with me forever.
00:29:28
Speaker
So ah fast forward when Gus had passed away, i had it in my hand. I was sitting outside and accidentally dropped it, and it broke.
00:29:39
Speaker
And went, oh, my God, is he telling me my heart is broken? so But prior to that, my dog and my daughter's dog,
00:29:50
Speaker
ah well, let me back up here. My daughter's dog stayed with us for three months because Gus and her were like, they they must have been lovers in a past life. So we kept her. But they would always go up on this fire pit in our backyard and walk around the wall and look for chipmunks inside the coals or whatever. So I was out one day.
00:30:11
Speaker
the next day after I broke the stone heart from on our anniversary in Peru, I walked out and I was setting my bird feeders up on top of that so I could you know set them up and get them all ready to put on the pole.
00:30:28
Speaker
I looked down firebird and there was a same size stone heart.
00:30:35
Speaker
And I it's there's a picture of it in the book. Let me see. Do I have it here? um No, I've got it. Oh, this is it right here. This was the stone heart that was in the.
00:30:50
Speaker
Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Right there. Oh, wow. Yeah. So it's like that. That's incredible. Yeah, but that that was another sign. Yeah.
00:31:01
Speaker
It is. Yeah. like And so when, so she's, you know, these messages are coming through, you're, you're, you're knowing that it's him. Yes. Now, how did that make you feel in the knowing that, that she was kind communicating with him?
00:31:18
Speaker
Were there any parts of the communication that had to do more with just, again, soothing your soul? Yes, yes, yes. And it just, And the ways that I would explain to her how he is communicating, she said he is just so magical.
00:31:36
Speaker
And it it just, it was like I had to have a session almost every two weeks because I needed that to nourish my soul.
00:31:50
Speaker
and And another sign he showed was, I think it was probably two weeks after he passed away. used to call him bobblehead when I would walk Stella, my daughter's dog, and Gus together.
00:32:03
Speaker
His head would bob up and down because his head was so big. And so I ended up calling him bobblehead. You know, the little doll. So ah two weeks after ah he passed away, I'm on my computer and in the browser says bobblehead.
00:32:20
Speaker
Yeah. i And that's, there's a picture, there's, there's illustrations to back up. all Of all your signs. Yeah, I'm not, yeah everything that I say in that book is true.
00:32:33
Speaker
It's authentic. It's not made up. It's, it's what I have experienced. And I'm not trying to sell anybody to say, hey, but what I've experienced is the truth and, and very authentic.
00:32:49
Speaker
But yeah. And so in the past, and it's almost been, it's a year and a half, then his and his, his passing, you've written this book in this time of these conversations and this transcript.
00:33:01
Speaker
What has been then your journey? How is your heart now that you've found this little heartstone and that you have, how does it feel? How does your soul feel with, with the grief?
00:33:15
Speaker
You know, grief is a great transition. former. And if you can get to the other side, it brings tremendous grief, tremendous strength and awareness and how you come out as a new person, another person.
00:33:36
Speaker
It almost adds a different level of and sympathy, compassion, understanding. and it it just brings more insight and it could guide you to and your purpose, will what what it's all about.
00:33:53
Speaker
But I definitely encourage people, they have to go through their grief. And during the whole process, I always felt that Gus would come back in some form.
00:34:07
Speaker
So, yeah, we have a ah dog saint from the same breeder, which came into our life, that he, Flew in the day my mother passed away, December 4th.
00:34:23
Speaker
Oh, December 4th is your mom. So December 7th is his passing and December 4th is your mom. And so it came into your life.
00:34:34
Speaker
The day my mother passed away and similar situation with you. Yeah. Yeah. And there's, there's, there's some, where is sweet yeah, there's some synchronicities.
00:34:44
Speaker
Yes. Now the, the, this was just this last December then. ah here So 2024. So how old is he now? Right now yeah he's 11 months old because we had to get him at six months due to the new regulations. The CDC had either. We had to get him at two months or six months because,
00:35:07
Speaker
A lot of the dogs from the war zones were being shipped here and being diseased and whatever. So the CDC put a clamp down. So we decided to get him At six months. At six months.
00:35:21
Speaker
And how has it been for you? Because you're, you you know, relating. What's his name, by the way? What's your new dog? Zeke. Zeke. Zeke. How's it been, this new connection with Zeke and developing this relationship?
00:35:39
Speaker
It's just been incredible.
Zeke's Arrival: A New Chapter in Healing
00:35:41
Speaker
When we got him and brought him here to our Atlanta house, he immediately picked up. Gus's favorite toy, which is the small land chop.
00:35:52
Speaker
and he would put it in his mouth. and Yours is still a lot. you he never just You don't understand. I had a lot of lamb chop. we had We called it lamby. We had lamby.
00:36:02
Speaker
um We had a lot of these, but the moment my youngest one, but the moment Buddy came into our lives, yeah like most of Evie's toys have all just been eaten up whole. like Buddy, is a he chews him and swallows him. So the fact that you still have Gus's lamb chop is like oh no zeke does not chew up any of the toys oh and neither i guess did gus if you still had lamb chop no no no but stella my daughter's dog so we had to put some oh yeah and yeah yeah so so he picked up he picked up lamb chop so like gus's favorite toy yeah he came down the hallway and that was the first toy that he picked up
00:36:45
Speaker
And we're like, wow. And he loves to dance, like Gus liked to dance with me. Zeke likes to do the cha-cha. He'll get a toy and wiggle his butt all over the place, you know, like a snake, like in and out.
00:36:58
Speaker
And then when we went to our beach house, this was really telling for us. We had the whole entire house renovated. It took two and a half years. So when we brought him in the house, he it was like he had been there before.
00:37:16
Speaker
Now, there are things about Zeke that are different. there And he has to have his own personality. But we see how Gus will soul dog Zeke in times.
00:37:27
Speaker
And Gus was the alpha dog. I mean, Gus demanded um he ah
00:37:37
Speaker
he was just had this big presence. Yes. Yes. Yes. He had this big presence. Whereas Zeke is I almost feel like Gus is part of him is reincarnated to Zeke so he could experience more of a puppy because Gus was more like the soul dog, the older, older soul dog.
00:38:03
Speaker
And um he was always there with me for everything, my protector, my provider. And so is Zeke. I would have him right here. But normally I He's still a puppy.
00:38:14
Speaker
Yeah, he he would probably be asking because he's still a puppy. Yeah. But here's something very interesting I'd like for your audience to know is other dogs can pick up um energy.
00:38:30
Speaker
So we brought Stella back after um Gus had passed away and she came out in the back. She walked out in the yard and was howling for him. She was it wass like she was communicating.
00:38:43
Speaker
I videotaped it. She was communicating with him. So these animals know they communicate with each other. mean They're here to teach us. they're And we're here to learn from them. And we and they learn from us. It's just it's.
00:39:01
Speaker
such a It's such a gift. It's a gift. It's a gift. their Them being in our lives and the fact that us humans can connect with a pet in that way with this unconditional love is just just so beautiful. I love i love the ah relationship I have with mine.
00:39:20
Speaker
And I love what they bring out in me. um Yeah. The, ah you know, I just, yeah. Well, they know. if you're they They understand your energy. They pick up your energy. They almost, and if you're not having such a great great day, they understand that. And they're they they're just silently giving, you know, being giving you,
00:39:47
Speaker
love and giving you just giving you space but loving you unconditionally which is such a such a learning for us it especially as we're walking alongside somebody that is grieving for example you don't have to fix how someone's feeling you just have to be there with how they are in that moment and that is something that we can learn from our pets they're not trying to like are They're literally just being with us just as we are, whoever we are.
00:40:18
Speaker
and going And going back to even just the aspect of homelessness, I'm curious, did Carl ever have any dog that or any pet that he was able to? Because I see a lot of times, too, the companionship and home you know with... ah with dogs and and and and people that are homeless and this companionship that they have so i just was wondering so that never no he didn't because he he he caught trains and traveled all over the place so um No. During that
00:40:50
Speaker
time. Has Gus's passing and your grieving, like really like of like you said, you had never grieved in this way. Do you feel that within that grief, a lot of your emotions of your past griefs, it also has allowed it to just flow more?
00:41:10
Speaker
Absolutely. And I think that's probably one reason why Gus came into my life. And why he left when he did. His time was up at that point.
00:41:22
Speaker
And that was hard for me to to swallow because I never expected him to die at six years old unexpectedly. But yes, i because ah I cried and cried and cried. So I'm sure it's all threaded, no doubt.
00:41:39
Speaker
He's like, Mom, here I'm going to leave so you can grieve. some more that you haven't grieved in the past. That's what, yeah. Yeah. It's what a beautiful gift he gave you then yeah also opening up all these.
00:41:52
Speaker
Cause yeah Cause it might've been, and sometimes we're like in the, in the middle of like if when certain deaths or losses happen in a time in our lives in which we have other things going on.
00:42:06
Speaker
Sometimes we don't even really truly grieve. that i ah I met someone that, Her mom had died when she was in college. And because she was so busy with her college life, she really never grieved her mom. She didn't grieve her till 20 years later when she had like become a mom and like herself that all of a sudden all these emotions started pouring out. So, yeah, like sometimes things are just kind of there suppressed because of either we push them away or because of life circumstances so when the floodgates open just allow them to flow exactly and and grieve as long as you have to need to yeah and and go through the memories of your dog of what you shared together too is for me was really important it was hard whoo it was hard
00:42:58
Speaker
How was it for your kids and your you your and your husband? Did they also grieve in the same way? Or were they also grieving because of your own grief? how is both Both. Gus and my husband, they had their own unique relationship. It was like every one at one o'clock, they would take their mad naps together.
00:43:21
Speaker
And if Jim had to be on a Zoom call or whatever, Gus would say, well, I'm going ahead and he would jump on the bed. he slept with us and take his man out. But my daughter, Kim, who was, there was a connection between Gus and Kim because when we go to our beach house, we, Gus wouldn't sleep with us. He'd sleep with her, but yet Stella would sleep with us.
00:43:45
Speaker
And I mean, he would follow her everywhere. It's like, okay. So there was something there. Um, but, uh, Yeah, it it was it was very interesting to watch.
00:44:00
Speaker
and All the dynamics. So much love and what a beautiful um story. And thank you for for sharing that with us here and for the listeners to make sure to go and get the book.
00:44:11
Speaker
How can people find the book? How can people find you? I will put the links below, but if you can share also. Sure, sure. The book is on Amazon.
00:44:22
Speaker
And my website is RebeccaShaper.com, but I need to tune it up because i and after the book, the ah one in 2000 about my brother, I just, it was like, okay, that chapter's closed, but I need to get it updated. But they can still go on on there.
00:44:42
Speaker
Yeah, I couldn't find, i on that one when I went in last night, at least I couldn't find ah Roses to Rainbow there. Yeah. Yeah. So I got get with it and get going and get that on there. So it's just, you know i so whichever one. Yeah. But that's a way of ordering. Yeah. They can order it on Amazon. Yeah.
00:45:02
Speaker
And, and what I would like to say, if it resonates with individual, I make this very quick. If it, if the book resonates with you and you got a inspired, you got a lot out of it, it would be wonderful if you could write a review because this will help others If they see, you know, a lot of reviews and all the proceeds will go to a rescue center.
00:45:28
Speaker
So I'm not taking any proceeds from the book. I want I want everything to go to help a shelter. So and because it's in honor of Gus and I know that's what he would want.
00:45:39
Speaker
So it's, you know, what you're, what you're sharing and the fact of like putting a review and letting people know that's there sharing it with somebody else. Do you know that out of, I've recorded 200 episodes and as of, as we're speaking right now and out of all questions,
00:45:59
Speaker
ah podcasts, the ones I tend to share the most because it's the it's I feel some of the grief that people feel more alone in that sometimes a society doesn't understand have been the episodes I've done regarding pet loss.
00:46:17
Speaker
Oh, yeah. believe that. Because it is something that a lot of times you feel like, you know, nobody understands, like, why it is I'm grieving this much or why, you know, like, and so ah people is like, hey, you know, my my friend's dog passed. Like, what, you know, what, do you have anything for them? are like, actually do. Or, you know, here here are these two. but So now I've got...
00:46:40
Speaker
three episodes that are specific about pet loss. So I i thank you for for coming on the podcast and sharing this and being so genuine and honest about your own experience because this way, when someone's listening, it validates what they are going through and feeling as well. And they they they feel that connection with their own pet.
00:47:04
Speaker
Is that the woodpecker still? No, that's my dog then. What? but No, I still hear it on your side. i I felt something right here. Yeah, like I could hear?
00:47:17
Speaker
Yeah, it was on the, I thought, that's weird. oh I don't have anything right here. On you? but Yeah. yeah Did you hear it like a static? sounded like a... Yeah, yeah. I'm like, my goodness. I'm like, we're really... I'm like, i'm I keep on kit taking off my headphones. I'm like, I keep on hearing. I'm like, ooh.
00:47:36
Speaker
We are getting lots of messages here. We're getting lots of messages. Rebecca, I always like to end the podcast with with, is there something I have not asked you that you want to make sure that you share with the listeners?
00:47:53
Speaker
Go through your grief. Go however long it takes and listen to the messages. what Just be open. Open your heart up.
00:48:06
Speaker
And if you feel that, you like, wow, I do know that was for me. And look for signs because they want to show you. And once you open up, open your heart.
00:48:23
Speaker
And always say thank you afterwards. Always say thank you. I'm very grateful for this. Because it makes them happy that they were able to touch base.
00:48:34
Speaker
Yeah. Thank you so much again. this was Thank you. Thank you. This was Rebecca Shaper. And again, you can find her book, Roses to Rainbows, on Amazon or check out her website.
00:48:47
Speaker
And then on Amazon Prime, if you want to watch the ah the documentary, A Sister's Call, regarding her relationship with her brother and helping him, that's available there too.
00:49:01
Speaker
Thank you again, Rebecca. Thank you, Kendra. And thank you, Gus. Thank you for all the messages, Gus. Yes. And thank you.
00:49:11
Speaker
all right. Well, you take care and have a great day. Thank you so much again. Thank you.
00:49:21
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. i hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief.
00:49:34
Speaker
If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:49:50
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me.
00:50:02
Speaker
And thanks once again for tuning in Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray In Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.