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201. Love, Loss & Self-Belief: Grief, Healing & Transformation with Caren Paskel
42 Plays4 days ago
Caren Paskel is a best-selling author, speaker, and the founder of the Self-Evolution Education (S.E.E.) Foundation. With decades of experience in spiritual education and yoga principles, Caren guides individuals on a journey of transformation, helping them reach their fullest potential. As the former owner of EnSoul Yoga, Caren navigated the challenges of managing multiple studios while caring for her husband, who was diagnosed with a terminal illness. This profound life event, coupled with the global pandemic, led Caren to reevaluate her life’s mission and create impactful programs aimed at personal evolution and empowerment.A firm believer in the power of community, Caren has inspired thousands through her Self-Evolution courses, retreats, and books, including her acclaimed work, The Power of Self-Belief. She has since expanded her mission to include self-caregiving support for caregivers, launching a program that promotes self-care practices for those caring for loved ones. Her philosophy centers on the idea that personal transformation begins with inner strength and is amplified by a supportive community.https://carenpaskel.com/
Show Highlights:
- A Life-Changing Diagnosis – Caren shares the moment David’s seizure led to his brain cancer diagnosis.
- Navigating Grief & Uncertainty – How caregiving and major life changes shaped Caren’s resilience.
- Choosing Growth Through Loss – Why grief doesn’t have to hold us back but can push us toward transformation.
- Honoring Legacy Through Action – How David’s encouragement continues to inspire Caren’s work.
- Energy, Vibration & Impact – The way our emotions influence the world around us.
- Career Shift & New Beginnings – Caren’s pivot from yoga studio owner to online educator and mentor.
- The Power of Support & Mentorship – Why embracing connection and guidance fosters true healing.
Get in touch with Kendra Rinaldi if you'd like to be a guest on the Podcast
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Transcript
Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
There was a sense of loss, but it really wasn't for that long because what I chose to focus on was what I was gaining and what I gained from the experience I had with caregiving and with my husband and what I could turn that into because I know for him.
00:00:22
Speaker
And for me, that was going to be so much more valuable for both of us. So I really, at some point, very quickly started to notice the difference. And I write about this in my book, The Power of Self-Belief, right in the beginning, especially. It's like i knew I had the choice.
00:00:41
Speaker
to focus on either the loss, you know, what I had lost, and that would keep me feeling lost. And that's very, very, it's almost, and it is impossible to grow exponentially in a place of feeling like you've lost because you're ah victim.
00:01:01
Speaker
Hello, and welcome to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray In Between podcast. This podcast is about exploring the grief that occurs at different times in our lives in which we have had major changes and transitions that literally shake us to the core and make us experience grief.
00:01:25
Speaker
I created this podcast for people to feel a little less hopeless and alone in their own grief process as they hear the stories of others who have had similar journeys.
00:01:36
Speaker
I'm Kendra Rinaldi, your host. Now, let's dive right into today's episode.
Karen Paschal's Journey and Resilience-Building
00:01:46
Speaker
Our guest today is Karen Paschal. She is a bestselling author, speaker, and founder of Karen Paschal Self Evolution and Youthful Longevity Yoga Training and Retreat.
00:02:01
Speaker
She is a former owner of EnSoul Yoga She has led multiple studios in a thriving yoga community. And ah she did all this so while navigating and a very personal adversity, which was caring for her husband, who she ultimately lost to terminal brain cancer.
00:02:25
Speaker
And we will be chatting about all the things she does and how she's been able to transform her practice now. And now she offers... ah programs and and teaches about it and being able to cultivate resilience and self-belief and just holistic longevity. So welcome, Karen. That was a mouthful of an introduction, but I wanted to make sure to share with the listeners who it is they'll be listening to today.
00:02:54
Speaker
Well, thank you so much, Kendra. It's really a pleasure and honor to be here. I love to share my story. And also my goal and mission is to be inspiring because I was inspired by many people, including my late husband. And I continue to carry the legacy by inspiring others.
00:03:16
Speaker
Perfect. It's beautiful. it it's I saw something today. One of the guests I had on the podcast shared, she's also a widow, and she shared a little bit of what ah grief she you know did for her.
00:03:30
Speaker
And it really is a transformation. It really just shifts a lot of our perspective. And we were talking off mic about all life has kind of guided you to where you are now, which would have not been the case had you not been through the things you've been through.
00:03:47
Speaker
And hence the title of this podcast being Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray in Between. a lot of times when we're in the we're in the midst of grief, we don't see that there is so much growth that occurs in that process.
Transformation Through Grief and Personal Growth
00:04:01
Speaker
And now you're a few years in out of that and you're seeing the little bits of of the glimmers of of hope in and the the seeds, right, that have bloomed Oh, yes. That's interesting because in one of the programs I'm leading called Deep Thoughts and Revelations is about at least this April's month was all about the April showers. We were talking about daily of the decluttering, the clearing, the showering, the cleansing so that we actually are able to grow the seeds that we're planting.
00:04:41
Speaker
And you know i see way more ah glimmers. I mean, I'm seeing the brightest, brightest of lights. And the beauty of ah self-development is that you're more prepared for life's eventualities. So I was on this growth path, transformation, way longer than when before I met my husband.
00:05:08
Speaker
So I had already... been kind of um well-versed with different emotions, how to address grief, and how to overcome it, really. That's that's what I love to share because There was a sense of loss, but it really wasn't for that long because what I chose to focus on was what I was gaining and what I gained from the experience I had with caregiving and with my husband and what I could turn that into because I know for him and for me, that was going to be so much more valuable for both of us.
00:05:52
Speaker
So I really... at some point very quickly started to notice the difference. And I write about this in my book, The Power of Self-Belief, ah right in the beginning, especially it's like, I knew I had the choice to focus on either the loss, you know, what I had lost and that would keep me feeling lost.
00:06:12
Speaker
And that's very, very, it's almost, and it is impossible to grow exponentially in a place of feeling like you've lost because you're ah victim. And then shifting into look at all the blessings and what I have gained.
00:06:29
Speaker
And that allowed me to see my husband in a different way because I thought him being 12 years younger, we were in this for the long
Shifting Perspectives: Blessings Over Loss
00:06:40
Speaker
haul. and never even crossed my mind that something could happen to him at such a young age, died at 30.
00:06:47
Speaker
So I realized from looking at the blessings instead of what I lost, poor me, why did this happen? Life is unfair. That attitude, I noticed i noticed that energy wasn't helping me at all.
00:07:00
Speaker
And then looking at the gain, what I'd gain in all the blessings, the the the difference was so drastic. I thought, what if I just focused on this? Then I saw him as an angel and a light that came into my life for six years that I was blessed with.
00:07:16
Speaker
And so I don't even feel like I lost. I feel like, wow, thank you. Thank you for bringing this amazing marriage, husband, human into my life for six years. Like, I can't even imagine what i where I would be without that. And that's what I focus on. It's the gift.
00:07:34
Speaker
It is. It's a gift. But you that aspect of perspective, I want to touch on two points. One, you said something really key. It's that you had already been doing all this work. You already had tools in this toolbox. When when I share this podcast, this podcast is a tool for people.
00:07:51
Speaker
And a lot of times people think they can only like, let's say, hear this or read something about. about grief or read about death after the fact of something happening, if you start shifting and start learning and, and, and, and but because it's, it's going to happen, right? Death is going to happen to us or people around us or our pets or, you know, anything. Death is going to happen and grief of other types too, of changes also will occur.
00:08:20
Speaker
So therefore, Having all these tools and self-development and self, you know, personal growth and development are some of the ways in which we could do that. Spirituality, what whatever someone may may feel are ways in which you can kind of gather these tools so that when something happens, you are able to use them.
00:08:42
Speaker
And that's the thing. You could have them. But then sometimes you choose not to use them. You chose to use them. You chose to shift your perspective. And a lot of times we are so attached to the feeling of, no, I want to stay in the victim mode because that what that brings into our life might even be more...
00:09:03
Speaker
ah you know, love from those around us or it make us may make us feel guilty if we don't stay in that victim mode. um If I don't stay here, then that means I didn't love the person that died if I'm not, yeah right?
00:09:16
Speaker
yeah It could be, so you made that choice and that that's a huge part. You have the capacity of choosing certain parts of your grief journey.
00:09:28
Speaker
And that is just so empowering. Thank you. Share a little bit of that and how it was for you at that moment, a really, like you you said, I could be here, I could be there, but what was it that was clear for you that, okay, I definitely have to choose this path rather than staying in the in the missing part of him?
Connection, Legacy, and Emotional Health
00:09:52
Speaker
Well, that's interesting that you say missing because I did learn that when we're talking about attachment, missing is actually a really healthy feeling.
00:10:04
Speaker
So I am always missing my husband, but it doesn't deter me from my growth. It actually helps me stay in the celebration of his life and what he gave or what I chose to receive because he had so much to give.
00:10:21
Speaker
And that was also that pivotal moment of saying, if I stay in this this grief for too long, And I get used to this type of sadness.
00:10:35
Speaker
What is that going to attract in my life? And is this going to help me serve my clients? Because I'm mentoring. I'm spiritually educating. So I thought about my roles in my life.
00:10:48
Speaker
And so all of us are leaders, I believe. We're leading our children. We're leading our fur babies, our partners. Maybe we're leading in career. Maybe we're leading our neighbors, our parents.
00:10:59
Speaker
kids, whatever it is, we are we have roles and we have leadership. And we have to think about that. We're going out into this world. And even if we don't think we're leading anyone, our vibration makes a global impact.
00:11:15
Speaker
That's how energetic we are. And so I thought about that. What vibration am I contributing to the world? Sadness, grief, loneliness,
00:11:27
Speaker
feeling like life is unfair, victim, all these things, right? And I was like, whoa, so heavy, weighs me down. And it attracts the type of people who also want to stay in that.
00:11:42
Speaker
And when I was younger, i was sick all the time and I stayed in my sickness. I only realized this in the last few years. Because of the attention I got, i didn't know this at the time, but I realized when I was doing really well, no one really showed and expressed love and took care of me.
00:12:01
Speaker
But when I wasn't doing well, everybody took care of me being the baby in the family. And so i I got into this complaining mode to get that validation.
00:12:13
Speaker
And that kept me small and kept me sick, kept me safe, kept me in the survival mode. and that is no place to live if you want to grow. And so I have a stronger desire to grow and make a bigger impact in my life and other people's lives. So I was weighing out, you know, what am I going to do with this?
00:12:34
Speaker
And then if I took it in a different way and changed my perspective, which is what you're talking about, I can still miss this beautiful human being to keep my closeness, to keep him in my heart.
00:12:47
Speaker
And keep him alive because his energy is alive. It's just his physical form has changed. So why don't I celebrate his life as he would want and ask me to before he died? He basically said to me, because I made the biggest changes and transformations within myself within the two year period of him being sick. Now, if that's not a gift, right? So I'm like, he's losing everything and dies.
00:13:13
Speaker
He's losing everything. I'm still here. have everything. So am I really losing? i mean, the relationship, yes. It's no longer here in terms of the physical aspect.
00:13:25
Speaker
So I really deeply thought it's more than just one moment. It's like an accumulation of thoughts. And how do I best serve my husband and give meaning to his life that I feel good about and mine?
00:13:39
Speaker
It's to celebrate. It's to miss him, but not be attached to losing him. And know that he's still here and use that to help myself move on and forward and help other people move on and forward. So it's like whatever I chose, that's what I was going to be able to give to the world or not.
00:14:02
Speaker
And that's what I thought about in in my mind. Wow. I am so curious now as to what who Karen was prior. You mentioned a lot of you growing up and how you were sick and kind of look seeing that that's a way that you got attention. And I totally can relate to that. I grew grew up having asthma. And I remember I would even bring my inhaler to school and be like, for show and tell, as if it was like, what?
00:14:29
Speaker
You know, like this attack. attachment to this title of, oh, I am asthmatic rather than i get asthma attacks, you know, like this, you know. So I'm curious as to your upbringing and when you started this personal growth and transformation and how you met your husband. What was what is his name?
00:14:49
Speaker
His name's David Prentice. And David. So take us into that journey of who you were, how you met, and your own personal transformation to to now be in this this space.
00:15:03
Speaker
Who I used to be was an introvert and... I was the baby, as mentioned, by eight and 10 years. So I was the little pitcher with big ears is what they called me because I was always around listening. And there's a lot of chaos with teenagers in the house. And I was a baby and there was a lot of commotion, I will say. And so I just stayed in a bubble and that was more safe.
00:15:33
Speaker
But i I am a more introverted person. i am more creative. That is my nature. So I tended toward art, toward making things and being on my own.
00:15:47
Speaker
So this is very different than now. I'm still introverted, meaning i I love to be alone, but I also love to be around people. And I did not love to be around people for most of my life, even when I was teaching yoga.
00:16:02
Speaker
So it was very hard for me to connect to people Before and after class, I would just kind of be like in and out. During the class, I was on stage because I have a stage presence and I feel comfortable presenting and teaching and being on stage. And, you know, I was a dancer.
00:16:22
Speaker
um i did some acting. i did a lot of stage presence and sports. So those things, when I was in the role, i was a big presence. But then to connect to people, i would just be like, okay, i need to go home because my energy would be just sucked and drained.
00:16:43
Speaker
And so I didn't really know how to balance my energy as I was growing up. That happened later in life, learning how to take care of myself, how not to take everybody's energy on, et cetera,
00:16:59
Speaker
And that had to do with with mentorship. I mean, I invested in a lot of mentorship, especially after my husband passed. But leading up to that, meeting him, that I like to share the story because being an introvert,
00:17:15
Speaker
When I met David,
Love Story and Cancer Diagnosis
00:17:16
Speaker
he was a huge extrovert and it terrified me, but I knew that's what I needed to help me balance myself. He was very, very confident and just he actually gained more energy from being around people.
00:17:31
Speaker
And he had an energy that was really magnetic. And so I wanted to be in that proximity. I knew when I met him, i was like, that's the balance.
00:17:45
Speaker
I know I need that in my life. And he knew he needed a lot of of my energy and my spirituality in his life. So it was actually a beautiful opposites coming together to work very beautifully together.
00:18:01
Speaker
So when We met. It was really a, it was a love at first sight. it was a connection that was undeniable. Where, where did you meet? Where did you meet? Like, was it at an event? Was, yeah. What were the circumstances? And where, where I need, I i like to picture, I like to create a, where in the, where on the planet were you? Like, it was it here in the States? Which city?
00:18:24
Speaker
I like my whole movie. was in Michigan where I'm from. Okay. And I had, i had been divorced. So it had been years since my divorce and i had dated ah bunch of people, but a lot of the people were from yoga. So it was like,
00:18:39
Speaker
a student thinking I'm like this yoga goddess and coming to me thinking I i need this person for to help me. And that's not really where a nice meeting place is. And so it was always thrown off.
00:18:52
Speaker
And I realized this is not a meeting ground. It was just easy for me because I'm not like a bar hopper. So I would just meet people, you know, teaching class and Thought, I need to stay in the, I'm a yoga teacher and you're here to receive help, not a date.
00:19:08
Speaker
And so I kind of like cast off dating because it was so frustrating time and again of what was happening. And I had done some online dating. i was, i was all done with all of it.
00:19:21
Speaker
But David was a date that I had made prior to this. I'm cutting it off of dating. And so I kept it because I didn't care anymore.
00:19:34
Speaker
i I just thought, who cares? I'll just go have fun. i have this date with this person already and I i don't care about the outcome anymore. And so that detachment helped me- You released expectations. Yeah.
00:19:48
Speaker
And I remember talking him on the phone and we just picked a meeting spot. We picked like an art fair, music festival thing that was going on to meet at in public. And I- It was called Arts Beats and Eats.
00:20:01
Speaker
And I remember talking to him and he was like, I'm here. i was like, I'm here. and our eyes met and his smile. I could cry talking about it because he's had this ear to ear smile.
00:20:20
Speaker
And i saw what he saw in me immediately. Like he was He was struck, you know, but I was struck as well. And that's how we first really communicated with just staring from a distance, knowing think that's the person in the picture and like the big smile.
00:20:42
Speaker
He was pretty speechless, which if you did know him, he's never speechless. So he had a hard time like talking because he was so taken aback. And one of the first things he said was, you look way better in person, than which is usually the opposite. Yeah. Usually you're like, Oh, you're so photogenic. And you're like, but you still keep wondering, you're like, does that mean I don't look look good in person? You're right. It's like, in this case, with your thing and I hear I'm thinking like my pictures, they look better. Cause I don't know. And he was like, no,
00:21:15
Speaker
And we just had one of those nights where it's just everything went. Yeah, it was magic. And he just, I remember he kissed me goodnight, not like a big romantic, like full on makeout session, just one kiss on the lips. And it was like, it was, it was magic. And my heart just was like pounding. And I remember him texting me either that night or the next day and saying, I know I'm not supposed to reach out this fast, but I can't help it. And I want to see you again. And I said, I feel the same way.
00:21:53
Speaker
And we went on a date the next night and it was just, that was it. There was no turning back. And what year was this? What year was this when you started, when you met?
00:22:03
Speaker
Well, let's see. i was 36 and he was 24. He died in 2020. So it was six years before that, if you can do the math. Okay.
00:22:16
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. and you know, it just was this whirlwind where our lives were so enhanced by meeting each other, even though totally different backgrounds.
00:22:32
Speaker
totally different upbringings and circumstances. And our age difference was quite drastic as well. 12 years, that's over a decade. Like I had a lot more experience, but only in terms of years living, his experience might've even been more than mine in terms of what he went through because he was pretty much on his own as eight years old. He was making a living, trying to get money to put more food on the table for his family. So it was,
00:23:02
Speaker
It was really important for me to be with someone with a different background, different set of circumstances, because it opened me up in my heart in so many different ways.
00:23:15
Speaker
And i think I did for him as well. So we had... An incredible few years where we were opening up our own businesses and he helped me do that and believe in myself that I could.
00:23:28
Speaker
And just kind of flying with traveling overseas and all the new things, the the new home. And of course we got our beautiful great day in Onyx. And so it was just a fabulous change.
00:23:47
Speaker
He opened me up. to bigger thinking, being more expansive, coming out of that bubble that I was terrified and I lived in for so long, thinking it was keeping me safe when really it was holding me back.
00:24:00
Speaker
So I hope that answers your question. i know I'm like here with tears. i It just moved me so much. Like and I love seeing the whole movie as you're like sharing it and seeing your face light up as you're talking about him.
00:24:14
Speaker
And I love when you said that the moment you saw each other, you you knew what what each of you was bringing into the other person just by seeing that expression.
00:24:30
Speaker
You know how they say like you you see another, like when somebody says, oh, you're so kind. is's like, oh, you see what you are, right? A lot of times when somebody is telling you a compliment. So in that moment of that energy exchange across the room, you guys seeing what you felt through each other, was just, it's like a movie for me.
00:24:50
Speaker
Yeah. like It was for me too. It still is. So he then gets ill in 2018 then, two years prior to his passing.
00:25:04
Speaker
what What came up from that? like How did he find out he was sick? Because then he's 28 years old. like Was he having headaches? like what what How did he find out he was ill?
00:25:17
Speaker
There was no symptoms. It only happened the day of the seizure. He started to tell me that his right side, he was feeling weird in his hand and he just didn't feel right. That's all he said.
00:25:32
Speaker
And so I said, well, it's Father's Day. It's Sunday, you know, so it's not like lots of things are open. We would have to go to the emergency room, like probably, right? If, uh, if things, uh,
00:25:45
Speaker
feel off still. I'm going to hop in the shower and I'll come down to see how you feel. And when I came down, he was bringing in food from outside and he just started to have convulsions. He was passing me the tray.
00:25:59
Speaker
and I, I just was so shocked obviously because he had no symptoms and no seizures before. So I didn't know what was happening. And I just said, are you joking? Because that's all that could come to my mind is that this isn't real.
00:26:11
Speaker
And he had a grand mal seizure. So He fell to the floor. He's a big man. Fell to the floor. Nose was bleeding. He was hardly breathing, foaming at the mouth. So I really thought that my husband was just dying and going to die right then and there. I had my phone in my hand for some strange reason.
00:26:33
Speaker
i was able to call ah you know Siri and and get yeah EMS there. And by the time they got there, he was regaining consciousness and then he woke up. So He was totally unconscious for a while.
00:26:48
Speaker
And they assumed this was probably a seizure. We got to take you to hospital. They found a mass from a CT. So um
00:27:02
Speaker
we didn't know what it was until they got an MRI and then, a you know, that affirmed that it was a brain tumor. So they had to go get it out to take you know to see what grade it was and found out it was a grade two astrocytoma, which is still brain cancer, but not needing treatment.
00:27:26
Speaker
So at that point, we thought, okay we're going to watch this. My husband is like, if he puts his mind to something, that's it. So like getting healthy diet, exercise, whatever therapy he needed to do, he was like on top of it. And that was his mission.
00:27:47
Speaker
And it it ah happened like a year later when we were overseas, because he knew, i think subconsciously the, I don't know if he knew he was going to die, but I definitely know that he knew it was a possibility. And this this was his wake-up call to live life now and not wait. Because being younger, he just thought, i have all this time.
00:28:14
Speaker
when When cancer hit him and brain cancer, he reevaluated his mindset and he he started to live more in the moment. What's most important to me now, which was me, family, right?
00:28:27
Speaker
His legacy. and living his dream life. And one of the things he always wanted to do was travel all over the world. So we went on this epic trip. And before we went, he was starting not to feel well. Things were going wrong.
00:28:44
Speaker
His MRIs were getting better and better and better, but Then he said he felt something was wrong. And so instead of getting an um MRI before we left, he knew that there was a possibility of something growing back.
00:29:01
Speaker
So he didn't want to know because if he knew he wouldn't be able to enjoy this trip or even go on it. So he asked his doctor and he waited. They said, you know, well, at this point, what's the difference between a few weeks? Like go have your trip.
00:29:15
Speaker
We had to come home early. It was supposed five-week trip to Amsterdam, South Africa, and Paris.
Navigating Illness and Professional Transition
00:29:23
Speaker
He was having symptoms and seizures throughout the whole trip, losing sensation through his right side of his body.
00:29:31
Speaker
And I had to navigate the entire trip. And I was not much of a navigator. So that's why I'm grateful because he strengthened me in so many ways. His weaknesses were made me stronger.
00:29:45
Speaker
And now I'm able to do anything on my own. Of course, I don't try to do things on my own, but I'm saying I'm i'm fully independent because of him and navigated this whole trip, including learning how to drive a stick shift.
00:30:03
Speaker
Never did that before because he couldn't, his right side wasn't working. So he had to teach me how to drive the car It was very stressful for me the whole trip because he was so sick and we knew something was going on. So we came home early and the chaos that we came home to, I wrote about in my book. I i don't need to go through it here.
00:30:26
Speaker
It was we had had people move us into a totally different home, but this home was under construction in the dead of the winter. So he came home to that and it was just, just pure chaos.
00:30:42
Speaker
He got an MRI right, right in the holiday, like new year, almost like right Christmas time. And it showed a huge tumor had grown back within a matter of weeks and And this was the GBM, glioblastoma, which is the rarest form of brain cancer. And it's terminal.
00:31:04
Speaker
They give you maybe six to nine months with treatment to live. So that that's what we had happen in one year's time length.
00:31:17
Speaker
Then he had to have another surgery. Then he's going through radiation, chemo. And at that time, the pandemic hits. So we had both close our businesses down.
00:31:30
Speaker
I just decided to close my studio because after seven months of the mandate, I needed to make a choice for me, how I could help my husband the most.
00:31:43
Speaker
And I knew that I could take my my career online and that was going to be better for me as well. So that's, I'm sharing all this because you can see how sometimes when something seems so terrible, there's so many blessings in disguise, no matter what it is, no matter what tragedy it is. It's like, if that, pan if the pandemic didn't happen,
00:32:10
Speaker
I would have never made the choice. I probably would have stayed in my studio comfort of owning my yoga studios for way too long, even though it was so hard on me, even before David got sick.
00:32:23
Speaker
And so it allowed me to make a choice in the, like quickly to get out of that situation, which was the best career choice I could have ever made for myself.
00:32:35
Speaker
Never would have done that without the pandemic and my husband being sick. So I say thank you for the tragedies that allow me to make other decisions and pivots in my life for the better.
00:32:48
Speaker
And sometimes it takes that. And I truly believe that the universe gives you what you need to grow. So if that means the universe gave me David to grow and even his passing was for my growth, then I'm grateful. That's how I look at it.
00:33:06
Speaker
Yeah. And for somebody that's listening to this and they're fresh in their grief, sometimes it is not easy to hear that these type of ah what people can think toxic positivity. It's not that.
00:33:19
Speaker
It is just hope. It's hope. it's a choose It's a choosing how you want to shift this beautiful energy that is love, that you grieve the person that you love so much.
00:33:31
Speaker
You can choose to how you shift it in a way that is more conducive to your own well-being as well and your own health. And I love what you said at the beginning because we are constantly, and by like our own vibration affects everything in the world. A lot of times we don't see that. We think, well, this is only affecting me, but it is not. Like it affects your circle of friends, it affects your family.
00:34:00
Speaker
And even if you don't have anybody around you, it still affects. It still affects because again, we are be we are living beings and this you know in this on this planet, on this universe. It has an effect. So it's a choice as to how it is we choose to vibrate and and and and what kind of energy we choose to give to the world. and So thank you for all these um nuggets and sharing that that journey of transformation.
00:34:28
Speaker
Now that pivot of going then onto online, tell us about that and what it is you developed now that you are online and the writing of your book, The Power of Self-Believe.
00:34:42
Speaker
Share that part of your journey, please. Well, when I was with David in in his illness, he actually inspired me to shift.
00:34:57
Speaker
And there was a moment of him walking down the stairs, very little mobility at that point. And, or he was going up and I was coming down and we were looking at each other and he just said, you need to do something.
00:35:09
Speaker
And cause I was kind of wallowing in, i was trying to hold on to my business. So I was teaching online yoga classes from my home, live streaming them.
00:35:21
Speaker
And It dawned on me, everything was decreasing. All my clients were terrified and in fear, not all, but most of the students,
00:35:34
Speaker
of money, of what the pandemic was, of the virus. So instead of, which I thought people were going to be like, I need yoga. It was, everyone was stopping their membership.
00:35:45
Speaker
And so business was plummeting. And I only had a a few core students and teachers who were sticking together, which was great. And so I kind of focused on that. it was like, who is still here and who wants to be served? And how can I serve them in a bigger way?
00:36:01
Speaker
Instead of all these yoga students, which makes your business, you know, the mass and the volume of students, you can't have a yoga studio with just a few students, right?
00:36:12
Speaker
I was like, well, i what if I don't have the yoga studio? Then I don't need ah mass amount of students. And what do I really want to do? And what I've always wanted to do since i was exposed to the yoga philosophy was the eternal values to live by.
00:36:37
Speaker
And so when I got exposed to the philosophy of yoga versus just the poses, I started to learn how to live life as we were talking about in the beginning.
00:36:48
Speaker
I started to learn the skill of living well, which actually takes practice and knowledge of the values and universal laws that last and that are timeless.
00:37:01
Speaker
Everything changed when I was exposed to this knowledge. So all I wanted to do was share it. So I was speaking about it in every class. I led study groups called Vedanta study groups.
00:37:12
Speaker
So this was my true calling. And when I opened my yoga studios on my own, that was really the desire was how do I get this education to more people?
00:37:23
Speaker
And this is the best platform that I knew. When the pandemic hit and my husband got sick, a light bulb went off like I can create an educational course, sort of like the workshop I did in studio, and do it online.
00:37:41
Speaker
The only question was, how do I get it online? And of course, you know the reticular activating system, your RAS. Once I started thinking that, a Facebook ad came on, a webinar came on on how to grow your yoga business online, and immediately signed up for that.
00:38:00
Speaker
No hesitation. It was like $8,000. It was a really big investment at a time that I was losing all this money. So that's one thing that I want to share with people is when you invest in yourself, always, always, always, it's you'll get a return on investment. It's not always money right away. That will just come.
00:38:18
Speaker
But it's always a return on happiness, on energy, on love, on more knowledge, et cetera, on more giving, So right away, i was like the star student in this program.
00:38:31
Speaker
And not only that, my studio was still open, meaning I could still go in it. And my husband, of course, even with brain cancer, even with every aspect of him declining, he still was inspiring me.
00:38:51
Speaker
And he said to me, Why don't you go to the studio and use it as your office? Because he knew I needed to get out of the house. He could tell i was suffocating there, not because of him, but the constant, the family, right? When someone's ill, he had two families because he his parents were divorced.
00:39:15
Speaker
I had my family all coming at me and him and us, the pandemic going on. From every end, i was getting pressured.
00:39:26
Speaker
That's how I felt. They weren't trying to do that. That's how and I felt. Plus, as an introvert, all this energy coming that you're like, how do I shift that with everybody's end? Oh, my gosh.
00:39:40
Speaker
And- His brother was living with us as well, but that was a godsend because I knew if there was someone else in the house, I'm able to leave.
00:39:51
Speaker
Because caregiving for someone who has brain cancer I don't know about other cancers, but with brain cancer, because it affects everything, your motor skills.
00:40:02
Speaker
He was falling down the stairs. He was having trouble speaking, writing, all these things, communication. So we there was a constant emergency sort of thing.
00:40:14
Speaker
urgency feeling in the house at all time. So I was in survival mode. So he sensed that and he knew if I got out of the house and I was doing something I loved and building and creating something, not only could he live vicariously through me, like he was happy to see me it wasn't one of those relationships where we were ever jealous or envy, envious. We were like inspired when, when we really went out and did something and motivated by one another, we cheered each other on. So when he was low, he was like cheering me on because it helped him
00:40:49
Speaker
to me for him to see me successful. So I went to the studio every day and I built this course online. It was called, I originally called it Cliff Notes on Happiness, but I changed it to Karen's Notes on Happiness. So it was all my like 20 years of wisdom from India and my gurus and all this eternal knowledge, values, universal laws, condensed into a shorter three-month course online with my coaching It was brilliant. I mean, I just went to the studio every day to make my videos.
00:41:21
Speaker
And when I went there, i want to share with everybody this because it's so important with grief. You talked about when things change, it's not just grief because someone dies.
00:41:33
Speaker
In those two years, there were so many draftes drastic changes between his health, his personality, what was going on in our relationship, our move, the pandemic, our businesses. So there was so much loss, but really just change, I say, because loss is so heavy.
00:41:52
Speaker
Change, change, change. So within all of that change and going through, when you have purpose, when you have meaning, that's what kept me
Purposeful Caregiving and Personal Transformation
00:42:04
Speaker
grounded.
00:42:04
Speaker
Me going and building this for other people, it not only helped me because I talked to so many caregivers and they always feel like, All they're doing and their full purpose now is for taking care of that person, but they lose themselves.
00:42:19
Speaker
And the thing is, is when you lose yourself, that's not good for the person you're caring for. And I got to see this. He pushed me out of the house. get out of here, do your thing. Cause he couldn't stand seeing me only caring for him and always worried or upset because he was sick.
00:42:39
Speaker
That hurt him more. So by me going and take care of myself and living my purpose, that not only helped me, but it helped him with all the change that was going on. So I did this, he got to watch and I was successful immediately.
00:42:54
Speaker
When all these clients signed up to take my program and I made more money in one month than I did in like a year at the yoga studio, I realized that the studio, it was time to let go, that I had outgrown it and that it was okay to leave that because of what I was building.
00:43:14
Speaker
So when you replace something with something that changes or goes, it's not as hard Because then you still feel that new, fresh sense of purpose and meaning here when this stuff is going away.
00:43:29
Speaker
So that really helped me say goodbye to the studio as I'm coming into this more imp impactful version of myself that could reach way more people because of the way that I was doing this online.
00:43:43
Speaker
And that's what shifted me into... being a spiritual educator and escort, I call myself. I take people, because I thought about was like, I'm a spiritual escort.
00:43:55
Speaker
I intimately take people to their highest potential. And it is an intimate process because we're so close, you know? We become best friends in a way. Yeah.
00:44:06
Speaker
and So it's this platonic escort that I am. And I want to share that at the same time, after David passed, So I have my business online. He passes away.
00:44:20
Speaker
And i was in the crossroads. And I knew i needed someone like David, that energy of belief and confidence and support and encouragement in the flesh.
00:44:32
Speaker
So i I, call them my spiritual parents. I hired spiritual parents. I hired mentors who are beautiful human beings that helped continue to see the world and all the possibilities.
00:44:47
Speaker
And that's where I was inspired to write about my story and the power of self-belief and what happened with David and let people hear this story. So it really came from me deciding that I'm worthy of investing in myself to have beautiful relationships that support me.
00:45:08
Speaker
That catapulted me into more programs that I created, more ideas that I had, and partnering up with my mentors in business.
00:45:20
Speaker
So at this point in my life, I am so grateful to share that the transformational relationships that I invested into We've created the Youthful Longevity Yoga Academy, and now we're leading yoga classes that are master classes for longevity.
00:45:38
Speaker
And we have support calls and a whole program for longevity, international retreats. We just led one in Costa Rica. So if I look at the past, I'm so grateful for all that's occurred in terms of what you said in the beginning, the choice I made with what to do with it.
Investing in Personal Growth and Community Support
00:45:59
Speaker
I could ask so many things as you're saying this, because what you shared about you being the spiritual like escort now for others, spiritual you're a mentor as well for others. You yourself are also then, you hired people to be your mentors.
00:46:16
Speaker
And the part of investing in ourselves, we tend to be not only in the caregiving part, but in general. Well, let me just shift it even just it as a parent of two, for so many years, I was like very guilty about ah spending anything even for me, right? Because you're a caretaker to children and we kind of put ourselves in the back burner even as parents.
00:46:39
Speaker
And in this case, even as a, as a caregiver for someone sick, you, you would have probably stayed there had it not been for him pushing you out. So here, for those that are listening, take, take what you, what Karen is sharing and you know apply that in your lives because it can transform not only yourself, but it transforms also the other person that is seeing you go through that too.
00:47:09
Speaker
So and there's just a lot there. Karen, how can people contact you and how do people work with you and get the book as well?
00:47:20
Speaker
Yes. Well, yes well My book, The Power of Self-Belief, can be found in multiple places. I know it's on Amazon, even in the Kindle form, and i have an audio book, too, on Amazon available, but it's in Google Books. It's on shelves, I think, in bookstores and Barnes & Noble's Target. So if you Google The Power of Self-Belief by Karen Paschal, you will find my book, and I really recommend it because Not only are there teachings in their eternal values woven into the story, but there's beautiful pictures of my husband and i throughout the whole book. It's like a picture book and a movie and an album all in one.
00:47:57
Speaker
But my favorite part is the cover. There's a gorgeous, big, wish I had my book nearby, but if you look it up, you'll see it. It's this like explosive butterfly with just all these bright colors. So it's That to me, the energy of that, having that book will remind you of your own potential and transformation to choose that.
00:48:24
Speaker
And that that's always a choice and it's within you and we're meant to transform through all that we, you know, are exposed to and that comes our way and that we go through. So everything is an opportunity. That's that's my my gift to you. Everything is an opportunity.
00:48:42
Speaker
Let the butterfly remind you of that and your gifts as a human being. And it's a gift that keeps on giving. So please know that my information is in the book. But if you want to go to my website, that's really easy, karenpaschall.com, my books, all the things, the yoga academy, the retreats going on,
00:49:01
Speaker
On Instagram, you can hit me up, Karen Paschal. That's just my name. Just look me up and I'm available and would love to connect. Perfect. You no longer do one-on-ones, correct? You mainly do group sessions or do you still do the one-on-ones?
00:49:17
Speaker
it It is something that has to be inspired. What I work with my partners now, it's more of this community vibe where we do mentorship and group health coaching.
00:49:29
Speaker
When somebody wants the a la carte and more personalized, we can work that in as well in a way that works for all of us. So it's really customized to each person.
00:49:40
Speaker
And i always say it just has to be an energetic fit, right? And match, like perfectly aligned. for us to work together in some capacity. Yeah, because if not, then energy suck rather than energy give, and it could happen both ways. i'm i A lot of times people don't believe that I also say I'm an introvert. People don't believe me, then I say I'm an introvert, because like, what?
00:50:04
Speaker
Just like when you described yourself, I'm like, oh, I can be on stage, I can do that a lot. i can I studied theater, that's my major, but it's how I get my energy involved That was like the, the, ah, I get it. I get my energy more on these one-on-ones and depending on the energy of the other individuals. So I could relate to that so well with you when you were sharing that.
00:50:28
Speaker
Karen, I always ask this towards the end of my interview. Is there anything you want to share with the audience that I have not asked you throughout the interview?
00:50:39
Speaker
Well, I think what you were talking about, i just want to touch on a little bit more that it really takes a village for your transformation, for your evolution, for grief to rise above and overcome.
00:50:54
Speaker
We're not supposed to do this on our own. And as an introvert, I was always thinking that, that I could do it on my own and I wanted to, and I was better off. I've opened up because of my husband to accept more people in my support circle and network so that even though I'm a giver and I'm a mentor, I know that I deserve mentorship and I deserve to receive and they work together.
00:51:23
Speaker
So I just want to say whoever's going through change or grief, open up to all the support systems. I've compounded my support. I never just do, oh, I'll just do this one thing and I'll be good. It's like, how many support systems, how much energetically aligned people can I have in my life to receive?
00:51:44
Speaker
And this has given me so much more energy to give more, to be more generous to excel in my gifts and talents, to make an impact. So please know that you're not alone.
00:51:57
Speaker
It takes a village and I am accessible. I want you to know. Thank you so much, Karen Paschal. This is again was Perrin Paschal and I'll put all your websites and any contact information below in the show notes. Thank you.
00:52:15
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:52:21
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief.
00:52:34
Speaker
If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:52:50
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me.
00:53:03
Speaker
And thanks once again for tuning in to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray In Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.