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Episode 13: Presence Is the Medicine
5 Plays21 days ago
In this heart-forward conversation of Don’t Trip on Your Cape, Alex Embry and Leslie Arboleda sit down with Elana Feldman to explore what it means to live, serve, and heal through presence.
Continuing the monthly theme of heartbreak and heart-forward living, this episode expands the definition of heartbreak beyond relationships and into the quieter griefs we carry… the heartbreak of body disruption, ancestral silence, self-abandonment, and the pressure to keep moving when life is asking us to slow down.
After surviving three major car accidents, Elana found herself initiated into a path she never planned but deeply needed. What once looked like interruption became an invitation… to listen more deeply, to honor her body, and to rebuild trust with herself from the inside out.
Through stories of working with elders, breaking generational patterns, reclaiming her voice, and learning to serve without self-sacrifice, Elana shares how presence became her greatest teacher.
This conversation explores grief for “what could have been,” the courage to be seen, the healing power of slowing down, and the profound medicine of meeting people exactly where they are… including ourselves.
A powerful reminder that healing does not come from perfection or performance… but from presence.
Links
Don’t Trip on Your Cape
https://www.donttriponyourcape.com
Can We Grok?
https://www.donttriponyourcape.com/can-we-grok
Aligned Living & Leadership (Leslie Arboleda)
https://alignedlivingandleadership.com
Mush Love
https://mushlovellc.com
A Human Being With Love – Alex Embry
https://ahumanbeingwithlove.com
Retreat with Elana Feldman & Leslie Arboleda
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1TKhWyNwgt/
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Don't Trip On Your Cape'
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Don't Trip On Your Cape, the podcast where Leslie, the founder Align Living and Leadership, and her amazing co-host Alex from Much Love dive into the very things that weigh us down, only to reveal those burdens are actually our greatest strengths.
00:00:12
Speaker
Together, they help listeners recognize that what feels heavy is often just your own unique superpower in disguise. So grab your cape, and let's explore how to wear without stumbling.
00:00:22
Speaker
Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week of Don't Trip On Your Cape. I'm Alex. And I'm Leslie. And this week we have the honor of sharing a little bit of Elena's
Elena Feldman's Journey Post-Accidents
00:00:33
Speaker
story. So Elena Feldman is a heart-centered guide, intergenerational ambassador, and the embodiment of presence in action.
00:00:41
Speaker
Her work is rooted in a deep respect for lived experience, wisdom across generations, and the quiet power of simply showing up. After surviving three major car accidents, Elena was invited into a profound recalibration.
00:00:55
Speaker
What once looked like constant motion became an initiation into slowing down, listening, and meeting herself with compassion. Those experiences paired with her work in senior communities shaped a way of being that honors people exactly where they are without fixing, rushing, or bypassing.
00:01:15
Speaker
Elena's presence is her medicine. She meets people at the level of their soul, holding space for vulnerability, resilience, humor, grief, and joy at every age and stage of life.
00:01:26
Speaker
Through her work, she reminds us that we are not defined by what happens to us, but by how we choose to meet ourselves with honesty and with heart. At the core of her message is a simple truth. Your story does not define you, your presence does.
Early Life & Embracing Uniqueness
00:01:42
Speaker
So today, Elena is stepping more fully into her voice, choosing visibility over fear and sharing her story so others feel less alone, more seen and deeply empowered to show up exactly as they are.
00:01:56
Speaker
So welcome, Elena. Thank you I feel so honored to be here today to be on this beautiful podcast with you. Glad to have you. So before we step in to what shaped you, let's ah invite you a little bit to begin with a little bit earlier, like when you think about your origin story, not just like the highlight reel, but, you know, the really part of who you are and how you move through the world. And what do you think about and about that time and about yourself?
00:02:26
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. That's a really a great question. so I feel like we ask for this life and how we show up. So with this, I feel my purpose on earth is to love. I've always felt it from...
00:02:42
Speaker
the earliest moment of maybe like two of of being that. And my purpose is to show that to others. And growing up, my parents said I'd go up and hug people and, you know, want to show them affection and love. And speaking of love languages, my love language is touch and quality time.
00:02:59
Speaker
So from a young age, I've always shown that, that love because I was given love and shown that way that I felt that I was really blessed growing up with my childhood to see,
00:03:12
Speaker
to be seen, to be heard, but figuring it out through myself as a child, sometimes I felt different. I felt that I felt so much that i was i was I wasn't normal and there's no normal of this. So I think as a young child, you think, what's wrong with me? Like, why do I want to love? Why do I want to show up like this? And how come others or the resistance? Because a lot of times people aren't.
00:03:37
Speaker
loved or or shown that way. And so the way I felt love was shown was that also I was called grandma growing up. I've always had invidity for my elders. And ever since I've been a little girl, I've always wanted to kind of like Take care, show up. The one who was always cold, the one who had the blanket, the one who had to make sure that someone got home okay. And so I think with that being a child, it's hard because I wish I had someone kind of also to see that
00:04:08
Speaker
you aren't You aren't like a weirdo or, i mean, we're all weirdos. Like that the point blank. The more weird, the more better. But as a child, I always felt different and that it wasn't normal. Like, oh, you're too much or you're expressing these things. And that was always hard because it was, no, I feel you. i want you to be seen. I want you, you know, and I think sometimes I couldn't verbally communicate. So the way I communicate was showing up by hugging someone, by, you know, different ways aligning that way.
00:04:39
Speaker
It's such a beautiful part of who you are too. You can just feel it in your presence, whether it's a virtual presence or otherwise, you're you're such a heart forward person. And that's that is such a gift. And I think you you spoke to something really powerful there, which is those of us that are living that way in a world that doesn't always know how to receive it can sometimes translate that into not rightness, right? Not enoughness or too muchness or weird or all of those things. And certainly around here, we celebrate the weird because the weird is what makes the world special, but also it's a
Life Shifts & Self-Care
00:05:16
Speaker
gift. And you are just, you are such a gift in the way that you choose to live that so authentically. Thank you so much for that. I really, that that really touches my heart.
00:05:28
Speaker
So you have shared that you experienced some major car accidents and that definitely had an impact on you. But how would you describe the pace and posture of your life before that happening, before you were called for that deeper listening?
00:05:44
Speaker
Well, that's a really, really good question too, because you got to think of back of where it kind of all started and, you know, not allowing something to define you because, you know, thinking being in these three car accidents and that's going to define me and what happened with that.
00:05:59
Speaker
As I said, I've always kind of felt called to do something to help someone too. I wanted to always show up, as I said. Also too, one of my favorite things to do is is messages. And i I feel like even as a little girl, I would be able to talk to people or elders and that they would say, how do you know? and intuitively, it hassit you're like, I don't know. like You get these messages. So I think that I've always had that feeling and that you know energy, but didn't know how to express it and show up with it. And I think with these car accidents and not having it defined, not my car accident, it can be more like rephrasing and the wording too. I think as a child, you don't really know
00:06:38
Speaker
how to show up as actual wording too of this is happening to me. And then you, it becomes kind of like not selfish, but it could happen to anyone. So kind of rephrasing that as a child, you don't understand like, why is this happening and what's going on? And, and just maybe if I had someone else to understand, like this isn't happening to you to understand, like what's going on in the situation to be able to like look deeper.
00:07:04
Speaker
Absolutely. So what did showing up mean during those chapters when you were starting to get these messages? Is that you really have to show up for yourself. The thing is, what feels good is when you're feeling down or doing... My purpose is to serve, don't get me wrong. And that's what I always feel. And people are oh, serve. Like, you know, here and there, sometimes people look at as more of a negative. I'm here to serve and show up. And that's what I feel that... But when you want to show up and serve, when I can help others, that makes me feel even better. But you have to discern who you help. And I think as a child, I want to help everyone you want to do
00:07:39
Speaker
But then that takes a little because then, A, you're not helping yourself. B, it's more you're giving, giving, giving and turning into more of the people pleasing and not understanding. Is it people pleasing? Are you really showing up because you want to? I really wanted to. But then sometimes I feel the people pleasing because to don't get me wrong. I love my mom.
00:07:58
Speaker
But their generation was very like, do it this way and show up like this and more black and white. And like, if you have a husband or a partner, like how do you show you up for them? And it's, and all these things.
00:08:08
Speaker
And you have to break that ancestral pattern because if you don't, then it's going to continue on. And I think I was different because I was the first one to really want to break that pattern and show up. Not that my family wasn't, but I didn't want to be that. I wanted to be Elena and have Elena's voice, not Dub and Rob's and not this person.
00:08:27
Speaker
So I think it's hard as a child because you want that supported, but you're following the rules and listening to your parents and you kind of get on that. But when you get to have that voice of your own, like,
00:08:38
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Most recently, I had a thing with my mom and I got to set that boundary and and stick up for little Elena. i get the chills when I say that because that's so hard. Like, I'm so proud of her. right I carry a little picture of me next to me when I'm at work or in doing stuff to remind me that little Elena has a voice and it doesn't have to be shut down.
00:09:02
Speaker
So, so true. We definitely all have a little, a little one of us in there. And I think, you know, you giving her the mic in your adulthood is, is powerful. So you work so naturally across generations now, and you've described yourself you as like little grandma, even when you were little, but how did your relationship with the elders and wisdom and lived experience first take root?
00:09:30
Speaker
Well, that's a really, really great question because it's so nice. I love stories. So to really get to know someone. So mine really started off, I was really blessed. I had three amazing grandmas because my dad's parents were divorced at a young age, so they both remarried. So with that, I was so blessed to have relationships with my grandparents as a child and it as adults and to be seen that way. So I think so many times we a don't get to meet our grandparents. be either we don't have a relationship or it's either you have one or you don't there's not necessarily sometimes in the middle i was really blessed to have both as a child and as adult and watching how to show up because two my parents had different experiences with theirs so in some of these things that you show up and you're talking about your grand they're like oh well grandma was mean to me in this or i didn't get this or my dad parents gave both the brothers a car and because he was the middle one he didn't get a car so You know, things like, oh, I would have just gone off on my grandma or something like that.
00:10:31
Speaker
But I was able to establish a relationship with both of them. I mean, with three of them in all different ways. My grand my mom's mom was a strict Jewish lady who lost her husband at young age and told me if I didn't marry Jewish, then i would not get anything.
00:10:45
Speaker
Bless her heart, I married a Catholic man and she's passed away. And so he's accepting of everything. And we were married by a rabbi. So thank you, grandma. Grandma number two, my dad's ah mom, she was great. She was Jewish, but told me not to marry Jewish. And she didn't believe anything. And she just said, don't go that way. but of course She's passed away. i love you, Grandma Addie.
00:11:08
Speaker
Nana Mimi, who I feel has always seen me from the moment, is more than just her granddaughter. We
Authentic Acknowledgment & Presence
00:11:16
Speaker
saw each other as a soul who's still around. She's 99 years old She's always said, I've seen you different and I get you the way no one else has.
00:11:26
Speaker
And to me, that was so special because I didn't feel seen by certain people and to be seen by an elder that way to show up where it wasn't like, oh, it's Liliana oh, it's this.
00:11:37
Speaker
really was eye-opening to me that just because of age that didn't matter she saw my soul and she saw elena for who i was not for deb and rob's daughter or not for this person not for stephanie's sister not for her she saw me as me and that's what really dipped in my heart and also too for exercising and things seeing them moving their body wasn't mean because exercise and health is different for everyone And for me, it was more as a stories, presence, experience. It's not like, oh, which body part are you moving? And you didn't do that. And I can't tell you about eating health. Like that's not my jam. That's not my lane. My lane is seeing someone where they're at for who they are, wanting to show up for their self. Not because I want it, not because their kid wanted, not because anybody else, because their heart and soul want to show up for themselves.
00:12:32
Speaker
That's so perfect. I love how your grandma Mimi was the one that made me right that really saw you. That's such a gift because we all want that authenticity to be seen, especially you know the world is giving you so many messages and telling you who to be. Someone saying just be you is such a gift. So that's that's perfect. When you look back at that time in your life and that those versions of yourself, what do you feel the most tenderness around now?
00:12:58
Speaker
Ooh, that's a good one. I think what I feel most tenderness about now is what I always felt, just being acknowledged. I think we all just want to be acknowledged one way or another, authentically, real and raw. Like I don't, that's why I love little kids or seniors because they tell the truth because they show. They could be like, Miss F, your hair is really ugly and you should not wear it.
00:13:25
Speaker
I don't take that personally. I say, thank you. Because if I asked my friend, hey, girl, how's my hair? You look so good. And your hair is messed up. You got lipstick on your teeth and you look like a nightmare. And then you go home and you're like, why didn't anybody tell me?
00:13:40
Speaker
I think we've all been there like, really dude? So I think with that, the authenticity of just showing up and being real raw and acknowledged for as once again, who you are, it's, I kind of feel like we're all sausages. Like, you know, we are the same thing underneath. We just all have casings, you know, different casings of what it is. So just being able to be authentic and know like there is messiness, nothing like people look at me too. So it's Oh, you're always happy. was like, no, I'm not. Ask my husband. Ask this person. I will tell you, like, I sat in bed and picked my nose or I, you know, just wanted to do nothing. And that's okay.
00:14:18
Speaker
And I think... the older I get is allowing that grace and allowing to know, because i think going up, my mom and parent, what do you have going scheduled? Even my husband, like, what do you have planned for me this weekend, Elena? And I was like, Oh no. Like I said, I'm so sorry. Like that's my, like the polarity to the masculine polarity of like having things all out. And that's the way it was raised. I said, wow.
00:14:41
Speaker
I had to sit back and take a little time out and realize like, What's going on? It's okay to pause. It's okay not to have anything to do. And if I want to sit in bed all day, I can. If I want to run around my house naked and put on my favorite song, I can. You know, just being able to show up for yourself and have that grace and not have that rely your part of of who you are. Because I think if you're not moving, if you don't have a program, you're not successful because of what society and that.
00:15:15
Speaker
But learning, like, I don't have ball programs, like, I'm your intuitive guide. So if we're gonna all be different. And just because I doesn't have doesn't mean that I'm not successful. But I've always thought because of how I was raised and society and what was going on that if I didn't have a program that I wouldn't be this if I didn't show up this way and messy, it wouldn't happen.
00:15:37
Speaker
But now, Little Lena has her mic and is able to say, no, set those boundaries and show up for myself how I want to, not how anybody else does.
00:15:50
Speaker
So important and such a such an impactful part of of your origin, right? And and the the solid ground you're standing on. So let's shift gears a little bit and talk about the disruption, right? Because we we kind of use the framework of every ah the hero's journey is everyone's journey.
00:16:07
Speaker
So you shared that you've survived three major car accidents. What did those moments interrupt that words alone could not have have had that impact on you?
00:16:22
Speaker
Ooh, that's a good one. a Really good one. So the impact on me right away went to the negative. Itty bitty shitty committee went in my head like, you're not goingnna be able to do anything anymore.
00:16:34
Speaker
Who are you going to be able to help? This is your career. Now you have nothing else to do. And now you failed because you won't be able to do this. Or, you know, going to ever be able to work out again? and then...
00:16:48
Speaker
I had to say like, what is going on, Alina? Like, what would you tell someone else? I'm always everybody else's cheerleader. I can show up that way. But the disruption was this fear of, oh my gosh, my whole life is over. I can't do it. And it's like, no, it's like that rabbit hole. And then you go down and you and then I become like, oh like a chicken with my head cut off.
00:17:11
Speaker
And I can't even like think. So I think it's just realizing like, That's life. There going to be disruptions. Nothing is perfect. like And so, you know, people say like practice makes perfect or things that show up.
00:17:25
Speaker
We have to have this sort of disruption because if I was perfect and I got to lead all my classes and then I wouldn't know anything else.
Lessons from Life's Disruptions
00:17:32
Speaker
I would only know that it's everything worked out for me. Like sometimes I hate in these movies.
00:17:37
Speaker
I want to see something not work. I mean, not in that way of like, oh, failure to have someone be upset. But like, why is it every movie not necessarily have happy ending, but it should show like it doesn't always, you know, or in sports, these kids cry because they didn't get a trophy. And you're once again, you're defined by. a a freaking trophy?
00:17:54
Speaker
No, like that's so stupid. Like to me personally, to each your own, I don't want to offend anybody. There is my heart like, oh no, I just don't offended. But no, that's how I view it is I don't think it should be that. You know what, if you're going to give a kid something,
00:18:10
Speaker
Give them a crystal. Give them something like some different hope. Give them some Palo Santo to put away the bad energy. You know, something that I feel is like real, like not materialistic, because here it is. We're defining you. You get first place and you're better. You know, no one's.
00:18:27
Speaker
They showed up that day. They were the better place that day, you know? And I think so many times with that, so with all this is not allowing it all to define me, to show up and see how, and it's okay. you know, I'm proud to say i was in this car. I'm proud to say my scar is this. And, you know, I have a little bit of a hunchback due to that, but that's not going to define me. I'm going to still show up for myself.
00:18:51
Speaker
And if I could help one person or help, you know, and make a difference, then that's better than, I think, quant Like quality. over quantity. So many times we want that quantity. We want the number, you know, even on post. But if one person is genuine enough to say that touch of their soul over 10 people, it like, I just saw it and liked it for the hell of it. Like, what did you do? What did you like?
00:19:13
Speaker
Or watching podcasts? Like, you know, you, we want feedback like, oh, your podcast was so good. it's Like, oh, is it like, what did you think about this? Like, did you really watch it? yeah So yeah, with that kind of you know, this false thing of, you know, if you don't get first, you're not, you know, first the worst, second the best.
00:19:37
Speaker
Disruptions are definitely there to teach you. and And like you said, even those learning moments, especially on this hero's journey, that's what this podcast is all about, is those disruptive moments and taking them and making them, you know, your message. and Especially when you were going through these really hard times in your body, was there a time that your body was trying to give you some messages that your mind was overriding?
00:19:59
Speaker
Oh yeah, 100%. I had to go to physical therapy. I had my C7 pushed up for it. My range motion is still, you know. So with that, it's saying, Elena, take a rest. Elena, listen to your therapist. Elena, and do this.
00:20:15
Speaker
No, I have to work. I got to show up for, you know, Barbara lost just lost her husband and, you know, Sally did this and Jeannie did, you know, you want to show up. And then it's, what would I tell someone else? What do I tell Jeannie who's hurt, who's in the same position?
00:20:28
Speaker
i say, girl, sit your ass down. You time out, you know, but for me, I think too, it's like that in your head or my mom or someone like you're not working. So what are you going to do and how are you going to show up and how are you going to define yourself?
00:20:44
Speaker
and allowing that to get into my head opposed to being like, no, this is how I'm gonna show up. This is what I'm gonna do and what feels best for me. And once I did that,
00:20:57
Speaker
then I could start to heal. Then my body's like, thanks girl. It's okay. You just sat and you got to catch up on all your Netflix and you got to watch your favorite movie and you got to call your best friend because you actually sat down and took that time not to take it on everybody else's stuff, not to do you got to do you.
00:21:15
Speaker
So I say learning to show up for yourself because then I'm that much more of a better version for everybody else. So, so true. And You've shared, obviously, and and part of what we've learned today is that you tripped on your cape by staying in that go, go, go mode.
00:21:35
Speaker
here What was that pace protecting you from feeling, do you think? Failure. I think it was protecting, too, my mom's voice in my head of, okay, well, you don't have this, so what's your next plan?
00:21:51
Speaker
What's your five-year plan? What's this? And then in my head, like, want ye I don't have a freaking plan. And here it is learning. People are projecting their fear. She's afraid for me because she doesn't want me to fail, but I'm okay. And then learning. I'm okay. If I fail, I want to fail because if everything was perfect, that's not going to teach. So I love to do like readings and certain stuff. And a lot of these readings are telling me you're going to have to fail a lot before you get to succeed. It's it's not going to just be thrown your face. You get on stage and it's perfect or things like that.
00:22:22
Speaker
So I think acknowledging, yes, we are taught that, oh if you feel like you're bad, there's no good, bad, right or wrong. Everybody's story is different. And what I love is that I love to use my voice. I love to communicate and share my story to say failure is okay.
00:22:40
Speaker
but we make it so negative that we don't allow anybody to embrace that word. So I think maybe if it makes somebody say instead of failure, like, you know, like my dad, there's so much that went through him going on with him from like cancer, it's a heart attack to all these things. So we did a thing called, he says, embracing the muck.
00:22:59
Speaker
So, which I loved. That's like one of my things. If you saying, you know, it's just embracing the muck. We're all gonna have to do it, but it's how you embrace how you show up and how you choose. We have a choice.
00:23:10
Speaker
And I think that so many times we forget in the back of head that we actually do have a choice of how we want to show up and we get to choose who we want to be.
Human Design & Personal Alignment
00:23:21
Speaker
So much showing up is such a choice for yourself and for everyone else. I like too that you were talking about how much, you know, you give yourself what you need. And a lot of the times it's hard to even slow down to give yourself what you need when so many people are expecting you to keep moving. How did you do that during that time?
00:23:39
Speaker
I think that's a little bit of my gift that I like to say. I don't need much sleep. Also, what I love you know unless less is really learning my human design. That has really helped me. I am a 401 generator. ah Go figure, Energizer Bunny here.
00:23:57
Speaker
But learning that. That has really helped me to show up and do Because too, a lot of times, so also the Libra, I mean, I'm very indecisive. Oh my gosh, like my husband wants to kill me. I have to like look at the menu before. He's like, why can't you make a choice? I said, because you're not aligning my human design and showing up for whatever. Here's a design menu, please. In all of this, like given choices and and showing how to communicate and what works best for me, then I can align myself for others and making the choices and being able to show up like and being more invited. i don't have to have that plan. I don't have you know, I want to be there, but also to I'm OK to showing up in joy.
00:24:47
Speaker
I'm not working a nine to five job that triggers a lot of people. Oh, no. Like, how are younna make oh, no, you actually like, what are you doing? Like, let my mom, I keep bringing up today. What's your plan for today? What do you got going on? It's like, oh, di you know, it's it's so funny. i said, I'm going to be on the most amazing podcast. And, you know, I do. And I said, and you know what? I don't really know what the rest of my day is going to happen. And I'm OK with that. Are you?
00:25:13
Speaker
And it's it stops someone to attract because people, she's living her fear. So sometimes I think with my views, it's that fear that my mom's projecting on me that I'm allowing to take on her emotion because I am such a feeler that I'm not, a like, that's her emotion.
00:25:30
Speaker
That's what's going on through her. And then when I separate myself, I have to like take a deep breath, do some Reiki, release what isn't mine that doesn't serve of purpose. I think so many times,
00:25:43
Speaker
We take on and we breath and and what I like to do is breathe in what doesn't serve purpose, breathe out what you don't, and just breathing it out. Take a deep breath in and and releasing what's not mine. Because so many times I get so con confused. You come home, I'm happy. And then it's like, oh, that's not me.
00:26:00
Speaker
So discerning your emotions and is it really yours or are you taking on someone else's? I love that you brought up your human design because I think obviously, you know, i am very passionate about people understanding themselves that way. And really, i think you also said something really powerful about it's not just not creating the space for other people's fear that's not yours. But sometimes when you come home and you and you disconnect from other people's joy, you're like, oh, well, that wasn't really mine either. And neither of those is bad. Neither of those is wrong. But having that clarity can be such a powerful shift for us all and letting, giving ourselves grace to experience all that is ours, the joy and the, and the fear and the disappointment and the sadness and the, you know, excitement, all of it. But being able to parse apart what truly is aligned for us is so spectacular. And I i love that you already and have that lens of self-understanding.
00:27:04
Speaker
So we've talked a little bit about the origin and the disruption. Let's talk about the rebuild a little bit. What did learning to pause, like in the real lived moments and not just in theory, what did that give you?
00:27:18
Speaker
you
00:27:22
Speaker
That's a good one. I think what it gave me is grace. And what it gave me was a clear lens to see myself.
00:27:33
Speaker
And i feel like this is like the time of year that's really shining for me is really truly seeing my voice and seeing myself step into something that I never thought that I would because I'm not allowing all my distractions to cloud everything, accepting the distractions, accepting who I am and accepting where I'm at. I think so many times you want to erase the past or look in the future, but really staying present in the focus. And I think that's what I love too about my language of love is quality time and showing up and being present, not on the phone, not on You know, here and truly, you know, I just saw this something of like, what does it mean to hold space for someone?
00:28:23
Speaker
And I love that because so many times you're like, I'm holding space. Like, are you really, they're still on their phone. They're still doing this and like connecting. And you're like, great. I appreciate that. But in reality, you're still not showing up or they're thinking of the next thing. So I think this really makes you be in the present and also appreciate like, I'm so glad I didn't have a cell phone growing up and getting other things. And to me, what I loved in your last podcast, you're talking about was community and connection.
00:28:53
Speaker
Community and connection are one of my biggest things. I can do it alone. Don't get me wrong. But for me, my human design, my four is my
Finding Purpose & Overcoming Fear
00:29:02
Speaker
community. That's what I strive in But then I think the fear of my one because I want to be the investigator. I want to know everything and want to show up that way that that sometimes gets in the way.
00:29:15
Speaker
But knowing that that's normal, that's human. I want the human experience. I want the soul experience. I don't want surface level.
00:29:26
Speaker
You were in the right room. Right? I'm here for it. I'm all in. I love that you know your human design so well. It's going to help people too, because it it really is about part of showing up for yourself, you know, is learning about who you are. And so, it sounds like you've always been able to show up for others.
00:29:44
Speaker
Where did you start to give that compassion to show up for yourself and give yourself that same thing you always gave to others? I think recently in the past few years, just reconnecting and finding, as I said, my purpose on earth, I've always wanted to show up for someone. I've had numerous jobs. I've sold eye vitamins. I've been a preschool teacher. I've been a, this person, I've been that person, but what do I truly, and who do I want to show up for now? And using that voice without being afraid, I've always been able to speak, but really being seen of my truth and no one else's and,
00:30:20
Speaker
putting myself out there. To be honest, I hate public speaking. It's the funniest thing. I could do in a Zoom thing, but I sit down. When I do all that, I black out. There's all these things and there's that pressure of thinking, you know oh my God, what did they say? Or you know what are you doing? Or someone says, you know imagine everybody naked or do you know all these little old tools of of that. But I feel like now, and also too, my grandma, like i she is like,
00:30:49
Speaker
I guess lot of emotion, she really has shown up and like has always said, i you have this gift from day one, like day one, I've seen you. And to me, I think having, you know, you want this Marlowe figure and you want this person to show up. Like I love my mom, but I didn't feel that she showed up for me as like, I wanted as a mother to be seen that way because she wasn't.
00:31:12
Speaker
But with this has taught compassion That's all she knew. That's all her mom knew. So in this, I get to have my voice to that as Leslie, I love this too, that we'll get as our ancestors, our ancestors who didn't have those voices, that we get to be the voices of that.
00:31:30
Speaker
And now I feel so strong. i just, I really see myself differently showing up that way and and talking to people or, you know, I'll be out on the street and someone is, I'm struggling, can I just tell you this? I've never told anybody this.
00:31:42
Speaker
And to be able to hold that space and show is truly a gift or leaving that message and someone saying, I needed that. I was like about, you know you you helped me jump off, like not jumping off the cliff, not like morbid like that, but, you know, talking them off of doing something else from that one message or one thing.
00:32:01
Speaker
And so knowing that I can help someone else, seeing myself different allows me to put myself on a different space to use that voice and not give a shit anymore of really like, that's why I love the others. like, why do you care?
00:32:15
Speaker
Why do you allow that? And I was like, well, because I'm not 90 years old and I can't say what I want at 44 because that would be so amazing to be able to speak the truth. Oh, she's 44. Don't worry about her You know, like, you know, but I think now I'm going to say it at 44. If I want to say what I want to say and then I'm not 80 and 90 or whatever, it's OK.
00:32:36
Speaker
and whatever message needs to hit someone, it's going to hit. I love that. So in your work with seniors, what have they taught you about presence that changed how you live now other than that unfiltered way of being? What what other lessons have they have they shared with you?
00:32:55
Speaker
That life's too short to dwell on the past. Life's too short not to show up for yourself and really to just believe in yourself and excuse really not give a shit.
00:33:08
Speaker
Really. and don't worry about what you know your past is or what your future And let me tell you, in these homes and things, they are in love. Like it's so funny. to So when I go to these homes, they have like the highest rate of, you know,
00:33:28
Speaker
STDs, all these things because they just want to live life. They don't carry more. They're able to like just show up differently because I think so many times, you know, as we're told how to show up and and have a certain way, they've also showed that community.
00:33:44
Speaker
So many of them have either lost a partner or this person. So going to these classes, that's what I loved. I love that um we can have that. We had, you know, coffee talk during, you know, the pandemic when no one could do, we would all show up for each other. And I think what,
00:34:01
Speaker
I'm just so excited to grow old. I'm so excited for those discounts and all those things. you know i think I wish I get a discount at $44. I went with some friends recently to a movie and they gave me the senior discount. It was like one of the best things I could. i saved the receipt.
00:34:17
Speaker
I saved the actual receipt because I was so excited that they actually gave me a senior discount. I love that. I don't think I'm ever going to get a senior discount. They still think I'm 21. I love that. It sounds like they also have taught you a lot about trust and trusting themselves. Has that surprised you in working with them?
00:34:38
Speaker
A little bit because, you know, too, they were raised a certain way too. With a lot of the women, you know, talking to a lot of the women, they didn't have a voice. They kind of had to, as I said, show up for whoever they were with and their kids and their the wife and this and defined as that. They were never had their own name. It was, you know, also like my grandma, Mimi, she was married three times and remember writing these letters back and forth with her cousins and things like, are you okay? Do you need something? But they couldn't express because that's how they...
00:35:08
Speaker
had to show up. So I think with this, now that they can trust, now they get to use their voice, they're going crazy. I mean, not crazy in that way, but it's so beautiful to see them want to lead a different life where it's not controlled. It's not anybody else's and they can kind of go wild.
00:35:26
Speaker
Like seniors gone wild. That's literally what i was thinking. You just pulled it out my brain. i was like, I'd watch that. and
00:35:39
Speaker
So what surprised you the most about rebuilding that trust with yourself? That I'd actually do it. That trusting myself and actually following through.
00:35:50
Speaker
You know, I think trust is so hard because so many times we could get let down or heartbreak or, grief you know, we're talking about, you know, sometimes with grief, sometimes that heartbreak is grief. It's not always death. And so it's like grieving what could have been or grieving, you know, too, with these accidents. What could have been or what was my body or what, you know, if I didn't get into these accidents, where would I be today?
00:36:15
Speaker
And thinking, too, like could should have, would have. But I was here for a purpose and a reason and you know things happen. and And my lesson, I think too, is that this was meant to be. like I asked, as I said, I think we ask for the life that we choose and show up for and showing you lessons to move forward and to teach others. As you know um doing stuff, we could be teachers and students no matter what age.
00:36:41
Speaker
this Absolutely. Now we're going to head into like the integration of your message in the story. So you said speaking is where you feel most comfortable, but also where you're most afraid. So what has been something that visibility has taught you about fear and like um but about your story has telling you, like what is fear of telling you in those things and holding back?
00:37:03
Speaker
That it's just like the itty bitty shitty committee in your head and it's not real. and that What I'm speaking is real. And then if I hold it back, then what does that do for anybody else? So someone doesn't like it. So it doesn't resonate.
00:37:19
Speaker
Who gives a shit? You know, like that's my story. That's how I see it. And that's okay. And I think it allows me to have that freedom to move forward because I can and I'm choosing willingly, not because I have to.
Presence Over Perfection
00:37:36
Speaker
So powerful. So powerful. So what has chosen has choosing presence over perfection look like for you as you step onto these bigger stages? Well, the presence has allowed me to do things I never thought I could.
00:37:53
Speaker
Presence has allowed me to do a podcast almost for two years. Presence has allowed me to be invited onto a podcast. Presence has allowed me to be able to put on an amazing retreat with the one, the only, my sister still Leslie, that I never thought I would be doing. I've prayed for this. I've imagined it, but using my voice, finally stepping up, not being the frayed little girl like, oh, who wants to retreat from me? And oh, you know, speaking with my grandma, the elders, and theyre we want you. You have this gift and people are gonna miss out if you don't use your voice.
00:38:33
Speaker
And by saying yes, and having that, excuse me, like that gut for my human design, it has to be an F yes or an F no. And like, to me, this is yes. Like I feel it in my core. I feel myself now and I get to see myself differently.
00:38:51
Speaker
I love that too. And, you know, just on that note, this whole retreat project was born just because we were having a conversation because we were just titchatting and sharing with each other, but you were willing to share your experience and share your wisdom with me. and that was kind of the spark that grew into the flame of these things that we, that we get to manifest in our lives that I think so often we accidentally cheat ourselves out of getting to experience. And we, and we inadvertently cheat the collective of benefiting from those experiences because we are
00:39:26
Speaker
waiting for that perfect time or waiting to be perfect ourselves before we be seen. And that, that also, you know, on on the topic of heartbreak, that's where a lot of that heartbreak shows up in our lives is we think it's because of something else, something outside of ourselves. And we don't realize that it's the absence of something inside ourselves. You know, Alex talks about that inner love and outer love and,
00:39:54
Speaker
I think that's just such a perfect example of that. I definitely agree. That's what I love that you guys share is is seeing both sides too, because we always, you know, we're, we kind of have these lenses on and we don't look left. We don't look like we think it has to be black. We think it has to be white, but we don't look at both and see how you can merge them together. And that's what I love about you guys is how you can bring that to life because so many clients are just one-sided.
00:40:23
Speaker
It's all about, And to the work you guys are going to do with generational women, you know, all these different people, it brings that perspective. You are an international ambassador. So how do you meet people where they are without needing to fix or carry them?
00:40:38
Speaker
Well, I think that is, thank you. That's a really great question. I think that's my gift. And I think that's what I, as I see someone and I can meet them where they're at, especially I had a client 92 years old and her family called and then this person called and they wanted all these things for her. And I said, I'm not going to go through any of you. I'm going to talk to her. And I said, Marlene.
00:41:01
Speaker
If you truly want to do this and show it for yourself, then I want to be here for you. If you want to do this to impress your kids, to impress this person, this doesn't align with me. And I think with that and showing up for ourselves and then making the choices and then doing opposed to so many times we feel bad or we put the senior in the home or we do this and that kills me.
00:41:22
Speaker
We still have a voice unless, you know, they're going through certain things. Yeah, I'll work with that. But I want that person to have that choice. I don't want to change you. I want to see you. I'm all heart, mind, body and soul.
00:41:35
Speaker
Where are you at? I want to meet you where you're at. I want to walk side by side. I don't want to walk in front of you. I don't want to walk behind you. I want to walk together with you on this journey to show up with you, not at you. I'm not better. I'm not worse. We can work together and be present. And I think that's the difference with me is I don't think I'm better. I don't think because of this, we all have our lanes. This is my lane. This is my passion. This is what I was born to do.
00:42:06
Speaker
And I feel it in my core. And that's how I can show up authentically and raw because of who I am. So, so true.
00:42:16
Speaker
So you've shared a little bit about this, but if you are open to sharing a little more, what shifted when you stopped letting your story define you and started letting your presence lead you?
00:42:30
Speaker
That's a good one, because I think we always do. As I said, I don't want people to define themselves by the story, by it's my car accident. it's my thing. it's It's this. It's who you are By finally saying that's that's not mine.
00:42:43
Speaker
That's not how I choose to show up and not allowing it to define me, allowed me to open my voice and allowed to me saying yes. I just was asked recently to speak at a festival that I got to speak with my grandma.
00:42:55
Speaker
I almost didn't do it because I was like, oh, Elena has to give a TED talk for 15 minutes. What are you going to talk about? You're going look at yourself and blah, blah, blah. I mean, I can talk anybody's ear off. Don't get me wrong.
00:43:07
Speaker
But at that moment, I let fear get into me. I let everything that I've told everybody else not to do. two So I think with that, I had to sit back and realize, what would you say to someone else?
00:43:18
Speaker
How do you truly want to be? Are you being authentic? Because you're telling everybody this, but are you showing up that way? And I think so many times with us being healers in this, we have this expectation or sometimes we have unexpected expectations because sometimes to me, that's common sense.
00:43:34
Speaker
But to someone else, that's not common sense to show up that way. So I think aligning ourselves to show up truly for who we want to be because we want to and aligning the right way.
00:43:49
Speaker
That's perfect. That's a really good wi a thing to lead right into the legacy of your story. So you said before that life doesn't stop, it deepens. What does that truth mean to you?
00:44:01
Speaker
o i love all these juicy, deep questions. What that means to me is Truly and genuinely is I get to create what I want from my soul.
00:44:15
Speaker
As I said, i think so many times we are so surface and I want to go deep. I want to know more. i want to explore. And I really, and know. And I think so many times people have such a hard time because they're not allowed to go deep.
00:44:30
Speaker
Because it's too much. People don't know how to show emotion. Someone starts crying. oh no, like I'm going to freak out. So they end up, I think it's, as I said, meeting somewhere that if you want to cry, cry. If you want to get angry, get angry. And not controlling that because I think we want to have that control like, oh, i don't want to cry or I don't want to be seen a certain way.
00:44:51
Speaker
But I think we aren't allowed to express our emotions. and I think that's where I feel that that's one of my gifts is I've always been able to express and cry. And a lot of people said, oh, I wish I could do that. It's not because I want attention. It's not because I want, you know, this.
00:45:04
Speaker
That's how I truly feel. And I want people to be able to feel without judgment. I want them to be seen without judgment and be able to express where they're at safely too.
00:45:18
Speaker
That is such an important part of your legacy. And truly, i i do see that as one of your gifts as well. It is authentic expression of all of the things, the sad, the mad, the angry, the joyful, the you know the enthusiastic. it's just It is such an unfiltered opportunity for folks to really tap into their own their own authenticity.
00:45:45
Speaker
So if someone listening feels unseen or alone, what do you want them to know in their bodies and not just in their minds?
00:45:56
Speaker
o Can you say that one more time? That's really powerful. Yeah. If someone's feeling unseen or alone, what do you want them to know in their bodies and not just in their minds?
00:46:08
Speaker
moveof That's so good. i think one of the biggest things is that we get in our minds. So it's always things like, oh we just talk and it's going to get out. But what I stored in here has caused pain, has caused the anger, and I haven't been able to release it. So my body is angry and my body is feeling that. So I can talk it out. I can say as many things as I want, but if I don't release it in my body,
00:46:34
Speaker
then that's gonna store and become more. So that's why I love movement. That's why I tell people get it out. That's why, you know, ecstatic dancing, jumping, shaking, screaming, like I love some primal screaming, oof, like getting that out, ooh wee, that's one of my favorite practices is just, you know, that yell. I love dancing, especially like just releasing any energy, any of that, you know, i have a trampoline, a little mini rebounds are jumping on there, getting that out for your lymphatic system. So,
00:47:04
Speaker
If you're feeling that it's more than just your voice, what's being stuck, if you don't release that, then that's going to cause some more pain because we're storing things that are stuck.
00:47:18
Speaker
So true. that's thematic That's somatic feedback. And that is definitely one of your gifts, especially with seniors. And I love that that you support the active seniors because I think that's part of what helps us tap into that longevity, right? There's there's a lot of six-year-olds that don't move like 92-year-old Marlene. And that's probably because they don't have an Elena in their lives helping them, you know, release it.
00:47:44
Speaker
I always tell my parents, you're so lucky, but they're so active. So it's so crazy because they're 73 years old. My mom plays tennis like almost four days a week. Like sometimes they're more active and, you know, think moving. Or when you look at someone or grew up, or they're the same age as you.
00:47:59
Speaker
And you're like, wow, but it's how you want to show up, how you took care of yourself. who's guided, you know, because too,
Valuing Seniors' Stories
00:48:07
Speaker
that's all they knew. So if someone isn't showing, I think so many times we ask to have that compassion too, because they didn't know, but they can choose. I think with seniors, it's hard because they don't like change and they're set in their ways.
00:48:20
Speaker
But I think with me, I think they can see something different because I'm not trying to change. it It's not new you, it's energy and vibe and what you want to give. It's your vibe showing up. I love that.
00:48:32
Speaker
So what does it mean to you to be this international ambassador as far as intergenerationally and to be able to speak as the voice of the ancestors who couldn't always speak freely? I think it's one of my favorite things to do. I light up, as I said, being called grandma, being able to be that voice. We don't honor in so many other countries, so many other places, they put these seniors on this pedestal, like they're matriarchs and all that. Here, oh, you suck. You're a senior. We're putting you in a home and like you're, you know, you don't know anything. And You're annoying. And and it's like, no, you have to put yourself in their shoes.
00:49:08
Speaker
They can't use their right hand, but they're still so mentally with it. and And knowing that they can't use the right hand, but they're mentally with it, how frustrating. Of course, they're going to be a little angry or they're going to be, but have you asked them why they're like that? You just think they're old and you just, so we're always assuming. But for me, for them, I want to highlight them.
00:49:27
Speaker
you know, ask them their stories. They have so many incredible stories. Like, you know, even I say back to Marlene, she owned two dress things, at two dress companies, and she worked till she was 80 years old and all these things. But you would never know because she doesn't express that. Or, you know, my grandma married three times and did all these things and could show up this way. But did she express that? No, because they couldn't. And so I think with this is these seniors are being able to tell their stories and being able to show up and I always tell them like, write a book. Like I always wanted my grandma's to write a book or do something because their stories are so important, but they don't get them out there enough.
00:50:07
Speaker
Something you said really sparked in me too. not only are you an intergenerational ambassador and and really speaking for those of generations that maybe don't know how to or haven't spoken for themselves, but you're also asking them the questions.
00:50:25
Speaker
You're giving them the mic and they tell you the stories of their grandmothers. And I think that's just such ah such a magical part of who you are and what you do is that you just pause You ask the question and then you really listen so that you can go share that with other people as well. That's that's just such a gift.
00:50:50
Speaker
Thank you. that That means a lot to me to be seen. way So thank you so much.
00:50:57
Speaker
So our last question that we like to close with people is what does Don't Trip Under Cape mean to you? I love it. I think this is one of the just like best like creative topics. I mean, ocar the name is don't trip on your tape.
00:51:13
Speaker
I think it's show up for yourself. Don't let the background noise get into your head. Because if you trip, it's okay. And to acknowledge that, and you know, you have that cape, you have that, but that's not going to define you. If you trip, you trip.
00:51:30
Speaker
The way you want to show up, you show up. And that's you. you're What's the most amazing thing about everything is there's only one of us. There's only one of me. There's only one of you. And that's what makes us unique because there's nobody else who's ever going to be anybody else but ourselves.
00:51:46
Speaker
And that's what I think is beautiful. No one's cloning me.
Words & Personal Expressions
00:51:50
Speaker
right when i Once in a lifetime cosmic experience, my friend. Hello. so Before we wrap up, we like to end every episode with a nod to one of the greats, James Lipton. He was the host of a show called Inside the Actors Studio, and he had a list of 10 questions that he asked at the end of each interview that sometimes could share a little bit more about the person than the entire interview did.
00:52:18
Speaker
So the first question we like to ask is, what is your favorite word?
00:52:26
Speaker
Ooh.
00:52:33
Speaker
That's a really good one. Because to me, i think my word might be smorgasbord.
00:52:43
Speaker
I don't really have one. There's so many little favorite words. So I think, you know, people talk about word of the year. I think mine is smorgasbord and that I'm able to pick what I'm feeling at that time because there's so many little nuggets and great words. I like yummy. I like love. I like this. I like that. So I'm going to go with smorgasbord.
00:53:02
Speaker
Love it. Word is, you know, a fun thing to just say. That's fun. 100%. That's another thing. Yeah. What's your least favorite word?
00:53:20
Speaker
That's so... These are so good. Ooh, you never really think about that. I mean, these are such great questions, guys. um
00:53:31
Speaker
I think failure. I don't like that word. I think that just sounds kind of like yucky and like it could be anything, but you know, not because i think of myself as fair or things like that, but just the word, i just, it doesn't resonate. It just sounds meh when I hear it. I'm like, what turns you on creative spiritually creatively, spiritually, or emotionally? Ooh.
00:54:00
Speaker
Community and connection lights me up because then i think too, horoscopes, full moons, crystals, energy, that's what really, just the vibe. I think that's what really lights me up is someone's vibe and energy and the flow of connection.
00:54:20
Speaker
What turns you off?
00:54:23
Speaker
What turns you off is assumptions about people. When people assume and judge without even asking or knowing, and that's a really yucky thing for me.
00:54:37
Speaker
What is your favorite curse word? And I can say it? oh yeah. Fuck. Fuck is my favorite fucking word. If you haven't noticed, I just say that. Like one of my mom's best friends is who I was never able to say any of these growing up. Shut up was like saying fuck. Like shut up was like the worst word of our life. Like, and nowadays we joke with my dad, like shut up. And he's like, ah, you know, but fuck. I love that word so much. It's a good one.
00:55:07
Speaker
It's so good. What sound or noise do you love? Um, the ocean waves crashing and just that beautiful serene just energy of the flow of calmness.
00:55:23
Speaker
That's a good one. What sound or noise do you hate? My husband's snoring in my ear and that is worst noise of my life. wow I love you, Tony. I love you, baby. Sleep is too
Future Aspirations & Afterlife Musings
00:55:40
Speaker
boring. I get it. What profession other than your own might you like to attempt?
00:55:47
Speaker
Well, I have tried a lot. So if I had another life of things that I haven't attempted because I really have done pretty much a lot of things out there.
00:55:59
Speaker
I would love to be a singer of a band. Whenever I sing someone happy birthday, they're like you have a great voice. I was like, that's the only thing i could sing. However, if I could do another thing, I think it'd be so fun to be a singer dancer of a band.
00:56:16
Speaker
love that What profession would you not like to do? Anything with numbers like taxes or like Like, I am not a numbers girl. That's why I taught preschool and kindergarten, so I can use manipulatives and my fingers.
00:56:33
Speaker
No numbers. Got it. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Ooh.
00:56:46
Speaker
I see you.
00:56:50
Speaker
That's a good one. it's very you. It's perfect. And I honor you. And that's what I tell my students, my people. Whenever I start off anything, I say, i see you. i honor you. i love you.
Conclusion & Embracing Superpowers
00:57:01
Speaker
That's good. Through you. All right. Well, thank you so much for sharing your story with us, Elena. We, I know that our listeners are really going to benefit from your embodiment of living heart forward and navigating those challenges truly with authentic love for everyone that you're in community with. So thank you so much for sharing with us today.
00:57:26
Speaker
Thank you so much. I just feel so honored and seen and loved. So thank you for allowing me to share my story with everybody. and you Thank you. We're so glad. Until next time, everybody, don't trip on your cape. We'll see you then.
00:57:40
Speaker
Bye.
00:57:44
Speaker
Yay. Thanks for joining Alex and Leslie on Don't Trip On Your Cake. I really appreciate you being here and walking this path with them. today's episode sparked something in you, if it helped you rock something new about yourself or your journey, show your support by subscribing to the channel, liking episode, and leaving a comment to show your thoughts or takeaways.
00:58:00
Speaker
Your voice helps to grow this community of brave, curious humans learning to wear their kitchen confidence. Until next time, fly high, stay curious, and Don't On Your Cake. Step into your superpower.