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Levelling Up in 2025
32 Plays9 months ago
The Queens discuss their plans for levelling up in 2025 and how you can too.
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the Female Dating Strategy, the meanest female-only dating podcast on the internet.
00:00:05
Speaker
I am your host, Diana.
00:00:07
Speaker
And I am Rose.
00:00:08
Speaker
And I'm so happy to be greeting our listeners here in the year of our goddess 2025.
00:00:14
Speaker
Diana, we made it to another year.
00:00:17
Speaker
I can't believe.
00:00:18
Speaker
You know what?
00:00:19
Speaker
I feel like I've been doing this podcast for forever.
00:00:23
Speaker
For a decade.
00:00:24
Speaker
Yeah, even though I think we started in what, September, August, June?
00:00:28
Speaker
Yeah, end of summertime.
00:00:30
Speaker
I think it was end of summer.
00:00:31
Speaker
No, it had to be earlier than that.
00:00:32
Speaker
Because when I was traveling in June, we were already a part of the podcast.
00:00:36
Speaker
So maybe it was like May.
00:00:38
Speaker
Oh, see, time has become immaterial.
00:00:40
Speaker
Like we've become so submerged in the FDOs ethos that now it has replaced time itself.
00:00:47
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:00:49
Speaker
And also with like the audition process and everything, like I feel like I've been so attached to this group and like this entire process for like more than a couple of years now, you know, so.
00:00:59
Speaker
That's a really good point.
00:01:00
Speaker
Actually, it did take a couple of years for us to actually like get through the cycle of applying and interviewing and like trial podcasting and then ultimately getting the invitation.
00:01:11
Speaker
It did take quite a while to onboard.
00:01:13
Speaker
And you know what?
00:01:14
Speaker
Great, because it just gave us more time and more grist for the melee.
00:01:18
Speaker
And I think like we also demonstrated that we were genuinely sincere and still wanted to do this.
00:01:24
Speaker
And like, we're like, you know, I was always eager to do this.
00:01:27
Speaker
Like, I didn't care how long it took.
00:01:28
Speaker
They could have put me in limbo for a decade.
00:01:30
Speaker
And I've been like, no, no, I still want to do this.
00:01:32
Speaker
So yeah.
00:01:32
Speaker
Yeah, I was chomping at the bit.
00:01:34
Speaker
I was like, if you just want me as a backup, like, honestly, I don't know if I ever told you this, but when we got hired, I thought we were going to be like supplementary to Ro and Savannah.
00:01:43
Speaker
I didn't think they were handing it over to you and me.
00:01:46
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:01:47
Speaker
I don't remember where I read this, but I remember that they were like replacing themselves and that they were also doing a guest podcast for like, I'm guessing for the Patreon
Support and Plans for 2025
00:01:57
Speaker
podcast.
00:01:57
Speaker
And also, by the way, for all of you, you should be listening to our Patreon and subscribing to our additional content.
00:02:02
Speaker
And we should be saying that.
00:02:04
Speaker
I realized that I was like, we don't really mention it, but we do have a Patreon and we do have additional content that you can pay and have different subscription modes.
00:02:10
Speaker
So yes, we would really appreciate your support because we have so many plans for this upcoming year.
00:02:15
Speaker
All of it matters.
00:02:16
Speaker
Yeah, every little bit counts.
00:02:18
Speaker
Yeah, but yeah, I did think, you know what, like, I thought if I did get hired, just because of the time zone, and just because I'm, you know, in a different location from a lot of people, I was like, what are the chances that they'll hire me as the main host, I'll probably just be like, if I do get it, it will probably just be like a guest host position.
00:02:32
Speaker
And when they offered me the main gig, I was like, Oh, dream come true.
00:02:36
Speaker
I think I just didn't dare to dream big enough.
00:02:39
Speaker
And like, look at what happens when you do.
00:02:41
Speaker
Here we are, right?
00:02:42
Speaker
I'm still overjoyed.
00:02:43
Speaker
And you know, I don't know, Diana, I think you've mentioned before that you cannot access the comments that the listeners leave on like the podcast on Spotify.
00:02:52
Speaker
I have been reading each and every one.
00:02:53
Speaker
They are so welcome.
00:02:55
Speaker
By the way, thanks for all the compliments and the affirmation.
00:02:57
Speaker
Like, honestly, as a general rule, we're getting such wonderful feedback, Diana.
00:03:02
Speaker
Like,
00:03:03
Speaker
They like us.
00:03:04
Speaker
They really like us.
00:03:05
Speaker
And I don't take it for granted because it is a little daunting to come in and follow in the footsteps of, you know, Lilith and Ro and Savannah, who I adore to this day.
00:03:14
Speaker
But, you know, we also didn't want to be in the shadow of them.
00:03:17
Speaker
We also just have to be who we are.
00:03:19
Speaker
And it's really wonderful to see how well it's been received.
00:03:21
Speaker
So like Diane and I were talking about this in the pre-episode, like we are coming into 2025 with the queen energy that we harnessed to become the podcast hosts in 2024.
Growth Mindset and Courage
00:03:32
Speaker
Yep.
00:03:33
Speaker
And I think that, you know, this year, I think last year was a year of a lot of transformation, positive change, and just like a lot of, I think I took a lot of chances.
00:03:42
Speaker
I know you did as well.
00:03:43
Speaker
And I think that we challenged ourselves to be like, do new things, try things, even if they're scary, like do it scared.
00:03:49
Speaker
Like we just really embodied that energy of like, the newness that we were welcoming into our lives, not knowing exactly where it would lead us, but just having a
00:03:58
Speaker
like some faith and belief in ourselves that like, whatever that challenge would be is something that we could overcome and that we could learn from.
00:04:05
Speaker
And so I think that this year, yes, it's about maintaining clean energy, but it's also about
00:04:09
Speaker
believing in queen energy, believing in yourself, believing that you are more than capable of change.
00:04:15
Speaker
I think, you know, like FDS at the very heart of the core of our message is about maintaining a growth mindset, maintaining an optimistic mindset.
00:04:23
Speaker
Because if you have a nihilistic or defeatist sort of mindset, like, I mean, I was just having this discussion with someone yesterday, but I was like, you can achieve a lot more by being optimistically, like delusionally optimistic than you ever could being a pessimist and a nihilist and being like, well, there's no fucking point.
00:04:38
Speaker
Because you're not going to attempt something if you convince yourself that I just can't do it.
00:04:43
Speaker
And you're probably going to do more by saying, well, what if I could?
00:04:46
Speaker
Well, and you know what, this is the whole idea of like an object in motion stays in motion.
00:04:50
Speaker
So if the motion that it's in is in the negative and the absence of good, that's the continued motion and direction in which it will go.
00:04:58
Speaker
And actually, you're kind of reminding me of horoscopes.
00:05:01
Speaker
And one of the things you mentioned for me was like how I just kept getting again and again, like the idealist, the romantic, the optimistic person, like I just kept getting it in all my houses.
00:05:13
Speaker
And I've always sort of, you know, begrudged myself just how naive I sometimes feel.
00:05:18
Speaker
Or, you know, how maybe I begrudge myself a bit sometimes my sort of Pollyanna-ish nature, just because the world isn't always, you know, so welcoming and so friendly about that.
00:05:29
Speaker
But at the same time, the way that the world has responded to this attitude has led me to places I would never have dared dream I could have achieved or gotten to.
00:05:38
Speaker
And so when I hear you say this, like, we can accomplish so much more if we just dare to hope and believe in ourselves.
00:05:44
Speaker
And I know it's the hardest thing often, like there's so many times when I'm just like, hearing the voice of my, you know, woman hating father who is just like, you're too big, little know it all too big for your britches and all this stuff that was thrown at me.
00:05:57
Speaker
And it's still there, but I've really made a concerted effort to replace it with my own like, you can do it.
00:06:03
Speaker
Well, why not?
00:06:04
Speaker
And dare to dream and all these sort of, you know, they're not empty platitudes if you can actually help them drown out and replace that negative loop that we often get stuck in.
00:06:16
Speaker
Yep.
00:06:16
Speaker
I think that at the end of the day, like a lot of people are looking at what's going on in the world.
00:06:22
Speaker
They're being nervous and apprehensive about things that are essentially really beyond our control.
00:06:27
Speaker
You know, there's a lot of things that are beyond our control.
00:06:29
Speaker
I think what is in our control is how we respond to things.
00:06:33
Speaker
And what's in our control is how we react to things and whether we feel like we are capable of changing things on a more local, more nuclear level.
00:06:41
Speaker
And I don't think that it's a bad thing to think about what does my local community need for me and what can I do in my immediate surroundings that is not only going to improve my quality of life, but is also going to ensure that, you know, I still retain my level of optimism.
00:06:55
Speaker
I still try new things.
00:06:57
Speaker
I think this is the year where ultimately it's like, I want to try new things.
00:07:00
Speaker
I want to take bigger risks.
00:07:02
Speaker
I think that like last year, you know, I started like, I'm basically trying to continue the energy I started last year where I'm like, okay, let's try new things.
00:07:08
Speaker
Even if you're bad at it initially, you'll learn.
00:07:10
Speaker
I think that, you know, now that we've been hosting probably for about half a year, I mean, I'm sure if we look back at earlier podcasts and look at where we are now, I can see a big improvement.
00:07:21
Speaker
from how we were then and how we are now.
00:07:23
Speaker
And it's only going to get better.
00:07:24
Speaker
And like, that's the thing, right?
00:07:25
Speaker
It's like the eternal cycle, whatever you were talking about.
00:07:28
Speaker
Like, that's the thing I really recommend journaling a lot as a practice to a lot of people.
00:07:31
Speaker
Because if you're the kind of person who's like, I've just made no changes and progress in like the last whatever, five years since COVID or whatever, having a journal will debunk that for you immediately.
00:07:41
Speaker
Even if you haven't achieved things like in the way that you think you should, like say professionally, or you haven't had a family and you wanted to, or you haven't like, you know, done this or done that.
00:07:49
Speaker
The mindset shift, what you've done in the five years to, you know, stay alive and to move on and to try new things, make new friends, take new risks.
00:07:58
Speaker
You're going to be able to document all of those things and all of those things are equally as important.
00:08:02
Speaker
I think we set too much store by like, what am I doing professionally?
00:08:05
Speaker
What does my personal life look like?
00:08:07
Speaker
Because women are told to justify their personal position with the professional or their professional position with the personal.
00:08:14
Speaker
And like, honestly, that's somebody else's problem.
00:08:16
Speaker
That's not our problem.
00:08:18
Speaker
We don't have to internalize what other people's expectations of our lives are for us.
00:08:21
Speaker
I think it's more important to be like, well, am I growing?
00:08:24
Speaker
Do I have a good mindset?
00:08:25
Speaker
Have I taken control of my health, my mental health, my physical health, my spiritual health?
00:08:29
Speaker
Have I formed new connections with like-minded people?
00:08:32
Speaker
Have I befriended other queens?
00:08:35
Speaker
Have I taken new classes, new risks, new job opportunities, new activities, new experiences, travel the world?
00:08:42
Speaker
There's so many things that make your life fulfilling that are worth everything.
00:08:45
Speaker
taking a chance on.
00:08:46
Speaker
And I think that we're so focused on like, just how my career is going, or just how my relationships are going.
00:08:52
Speaker
And whether I have a boyfriend or not, whether I have a husband or not, whether I have kids or not, it's like, these are such unnecessary energies to carry with you in 2025.
00:08:59
Speaker
What is really important is, do you feel that you're growing?
00:09:02
Speaker
Have you adopted a mindset of like, I'm growing and I'm optimistic about my prospects in general?
00:09:08
Speaker
And you know what, you bring up such a good point, Diana.
00:09:10
Speaker
Not only are these like the national and international concerns, yes, they're omnipresent, but also they are so far beyond our control.
00:09:18
Speaker
It's ludicrous to think that worrying about them has any impact whatsoever.
00:09:22
Speaker
I think it is absolutely vital that we all look to our local community, keep it local, keep it on the ground.
00:09:28
Speaker
Any little thing you can do for your own neighborhood, that's what you've got to do.
00:09:31
Speaker
That's where it's got
Local Community and Kindness
00:09:32
Speaker
to start.
00:09:32
Speaker
Because I mean, just I locked myself out of my home for the first time ever.
00:09:36
Speaker
And it's winter here.
00:09:38
Speaker
And I was like, you know what, I know my neighbor works from home on Fridays, I'm just gonna call her and see if she can help me out.
00:09:44
Speaker
And she absolutely did like loaned me her phone, gave me her apartment while I was, you know, locked out of the cold, hosted me and my dog for like over an hour and a half, and was happy to do it.
00:09:54
Speaker
And I'm just like, this is why neighbors count.
00:09:57
Speaker
This is why it matters who lives next door to you and how you comport yourself.
00:10:02
Speaker
in the world you live in.
00:10:04
Speaker
Time and time and time again, we're like the kindness, not of strangers, but the kindness of, you know, acquaintances, the kindness of professional contacts have just come through and made the quality of my life immeasurably better.
00:10:17
Speaker
And so instead of worrying about that, which we have no control over, let's focus on that, which could have the most immediate impact for ourselves and for those in our immediate vicinities.
00:10:28
Speaker
And one thing Diana had mentioned in her pre-talk was how, you know, it's okay to be scared.
00:10:33
Speaker
It's normal and it's natural.
00:10:34
Speaker
And often those instincts are there for a reason.
00:10:37
Speaker
I mean, we talk about the gift of fear, Gavin DeBecker all the time.
00:10:40
Speaker
But I think we have to differentiate between feeling like a vulnerable prey versus the fear of doing something that you're not sure if you're going to succeed in or the fear of doing something and feeling like you're going to fall flat on your face and people are going to laugh at you.
00:10:54
Speaker
All of these things are very much limited by your own self-conception.
00:10:58
Speaker
And as we know, as women, we have constantly been taught to underestimate ourselves and to downplay our strengths and our abilities.
00:11:05
Speaker
And so I think understanding that while fear is there as, you know, maybe a marker or a guidepost, oftentimes, if you could push beyond that, you know, do feel fearful and do what you're still fearful of.
00:11:18
Speaker
I think that's really the true definition of courage.
00:11:20
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I think like a lot of people think when they meet a person who's confident, and they meet a person who's self assured that like, they experienced no fear whatsoever.
00:11:29
Speaker
And it's like, I laugh in the face of danger.
00:11:32
Speaker
And it's like, that's really not the energy.
00:11:35
Speaker
Like, I mean, so many times when I've done things that are like, not how I would have responded to situations, even a couple of years ago, or like five years ago,
00:11:43
Speaker
I'm nervous and scared because it's like foreign to me.
00:11:47
Speaker
I've never approached a problem that way.
00:11:49
Speaker
And I've never given a solution that way.
00:11:51
Speaker
And it's hard to stand up for yourself.
00:11:52
Speaker
And it's hard to have courage.
00:11:55
Speaker
I do a lot of the shit scared.
00:11:56
Speaker
I'm not even joking.
00:11:57
Speaker
I do a lot of things scared and being like, I have no idea what the outcome of this will be.
00:12:01
Speaker
I wouldn't say I'm conflict averse.
00:12:02
Speaker
But like most people, I just don't like conflict.
00:12:05
Speaker
Right.
00:12:06
Speaker
It's so nerve wracking.
00:12:07
Speaker
I mean, I've been the kind of person where I've had to make myself respond even with my voice shaking.
00:12:13
Speaker
Right.
00:12:14
Speaker
And like breaking because of my nerves.
00:12:16
Speaker
That's something that has been very hard.
00:12:17
Speaker
And like, listen to me speak.
00:12:18
Speaker
You probably think I sound like the most confident and eloquent person in the world.
00:12:23
Speaker
Well, you're not wrong, but also like any human being, when I'm really uncomfortable or I feel cornered or stressed or even scared, you know, it can be very, very difficult in those moments to stand up for yourself and to voice your own advocacy for yourself.
00:12:39
Speaker
There are many, many times where I've actually had to do that through tears, through gasping sobs, through my voice shaking and breaking, because it's not that it's easy, but it's become increasingly necessary as I grow into the fullness of my own being.
00:12:56
Speaker
And not to be all woo-woo, but I honestly think the universe rewards you when you're moving in the right direction, because I was talking to Rose about this in my pre-talk, but basically, I had taken a job in October,
00:13:08
Speaker
which was really just for the money.
00:13:09
Speaker
And it was the first time, like this was something new for me.
00:13:11
Speaker
It was the first time I was taking a job purely for the money, doing an incredibly mundane job that I knew that I probably wouldn't like.
00:13:17
Speaker
And I remember telling my friend, I was like, I'll be surprised if I make it through the probation period because the probation period was three months.
00:13:22
Speaker
Okay.
00:13:22
Speaker
I lasted
Opportunities and Bold Actions
00:13:23
Speaker
about four.
00:13:24
Speaker
You did it.
00:13:25
Speaker
I did it.
00:13:26
Speaker
I did it.
00:13:27
Speaker
And before I quit, but basically what happened was like, I realized about me through that experience that I can't just do things for the heck of it.
00:13:34
Speaker
Like I need the mental stimulation, the creative stimulation of a job.
00:13:37
Speaker
Like I need to feel like I'm contributing.
00:13:39
Speaker
I like to use my brain.
00:13:40
Speaker
I can't do like a mundane switch your brain off and do the same thing every single day kind of job.
00:13:44
Speaker
I can't do the office desk job of like five days a week, 40 hours.
00:13:48
Speaker
Like unless it's something I truly, truly believe in and like I'm passionate about.
00:13:52
Speaker
And I was not passionate about this job.
00:13:54
Speaker
I was warned from the beginning that it was going to be mundane.
00:13:56
Speaker
And I kind of knew that I was like, okay, well, this is not going to be a passion project for me.
00:14:00
Speaker
This is going to be just an opportunity to make money.
00:14:02
Speaker
And some people can do that and be like, that's just all it is.
00:14:04
Speaker
It's just a job.
00:14:05
Speaker
And for a while, that was me too.
00:14:06
Speaker
I was fine with it.
00:14:08
Speaker
But it was eating at me because I was like, I'm so bored from doing it, right?
00:14:12
Speaker
And so that's the thing, because I didn't feel passionate about it, because I didn't care about the validation from like, you know, my colleagues and my boss.
00:14:20
Speaker
In some cases, this is a good thing, right?
00:14:21
Speaker
Like, honestly, you shouldn't care that much about validation at work.
00:14:24
Speaker
But at the same time, I didn't really care about doing it to perfection either.
00:14:28
Speaker
And usually I'm quite meticulous about how I approach work.
00:14:31
Speaker
So I started getting sloppy, right?
00:14:33
Speaker
I started making mistakes.
00:14:34
Speaker
And so I take accountability for the fact that like, I should have been more careful.
00:14:38
Speaker
But like, there was a series of things that happened in like the last 72 hours.
00:14:42
Speaker
which was incredibly disrespectful and unprofessional from their end.
00:14:46
Speaker
And like, you know, long story short, because I don't want to regale everyone at the boring details.
00:14:50
Speaker
But essentially, you know, they started talking about things like rethinking my compensation.
00:14:53
Speaker
And I was like, I don't want to ever work for a place that thinks because I make mistakes, because bear in mind, like we use ChatGPT a lot in my work.
00:14:59
Speaker
And ChatGBT makes the mistakes sometimes too.
00:15:01
Speaker
Like, you know, even the machine is making mistakes.
00:15:03
Speaker
So I'm human.
00:15:04
Speaker
Of course, I'll be making mistakes.
00:15:06
Speaker
And like, they basically were very passive aggressively suggesting to the entire group, like, they like chastised me on like a work platform in front of everyone.
00:15:13
Speaker
And then they were like, oh, we also need to get together to like decide what is sufficient punishment for people who make too many mistakes.
00:15:19
Speaker
And I was like, nah, like, I don't like that.
00:15:21
Speaker
I never want to work for a place where they think it's appropriate to dock someone's pay for human error, because human error is a part of every job.
00:15:28
Speaker
Like if you're expecting perfection from this role that is mundane, and even like the head office doesn't care that much about these basic mistakes, because the work that we do goes through three levels of correction before it's finally released to the public.
00:15:39
Speaker
So like, there's no reason to be upset with me about a first draft because first drafts in general are messy, right?
00:15:44
Speaker
And so I was obviously upset because I was like, the mere fact that they could suggest that docking pays an appropriate form of punishment, and that like right after publicly reprimanding me, they were like, Oh, let's get on a call and decide
00:15:56
Speaker
what is a mutually, you know, I mean, like you're enforcing something unilaterally, but you're just pretending it's a democracy because where do we have a say in like what the sufficient punishment is like,
00:16:06
Speaker
How many mistakes is too many mistakes?
00:16:08
Speaker
You know, some person might make three and another person might make 15.
00:16:11
Speaker
So I was just like, I don't want to work for a place that is comfortable having these kinds of discussions and like doesn't understand basic management 101, which is that you should always reprimand an employee in private and always bring up like, because the thing is, had they just done that?
00:16:23
Speaker
Had they just like been like, let's schedule a call and like talk to me in private.
00:16:27
Speaker
I'm a very hardworking person.
00:16:28
Speaker
And I'm a screenwriter, guys, like I'm used to feedback.
00:16:31
Speaker
My bread and butter is feedback.
00:16:32
Speaker
Like I take feedback in stride.
00:16:34
Speaker
I would have taken their feedback and like strive to do more.
00:16:37
Speaker
But that was not their approach.
00:16:38
Speaker
Their approach was to be incredibly petty and childish.
00:16:40
Speaker
And like, I was upset the first day that they did that.
00:16:43
Speaker
And then the next day, it was like more bullshit.
00:16:45
Speaker
So by that point, I was like, done.
00:16:48
Speaker
Don't want to be here.
00:16:48
Speaker
Fuck this place.
00:16:50
Speaker
Because I remember thinking I was like, I can't be
00:16:53
Speaker
podcast host on FDS and preach week after week about leaving at the first sign of a red flag when I'm being presented with a massive red flag right now and I'm still twiddling my thumbs being like what the fuck I should do and I was like oh
00:17:06
Speaker
I guess I gotta quit.
00:17:08
Speaker
I hate that.
00:17:09
Speaker
I hate that I have to stand up for myself.
00:17:13
Speaker
But I did.
00:17:14
Speaker
And like that morning, I had a call on another project that I was doing.
00:17:18
Speaker
And I was offered a massive job.
00:17:21
Speaker
And it was like the universe was giving me a sign being like, this is okay.
00:17:25
Speaker
you have to do this, you have to quit.
00:17:28
Speaker
And like, you will be fine.
00:17:29
Speaker
And also the new job is like very much in alignment with my professional goals as a screenwriter, like I'll have access to being able to meet like a lot of really important people in the business.
00:17:37
Speaker
So for me, I was like, this makes more sense, because the other job was not a career move, it was simply a job.
00:17:42
Speaker
And so that cemented my desire to be like, let's quit.
00:17:45
Speaker
And I quit.
00:17:46
Speaker
And that was like the first FDS move I made this year.
00:17:48
Speaker
And it was hard because I value work a lot.
00:17:50
Speaker
Even a year ago, when I really needed this job, or a couple of years ago, I would have still had a really hard time quitting without something lined up.
00:17:57
Speaker
Thankfully, I did have something lined up.
00:17:58
Speaker
But even if I didn't, I would have probably still quit because
00:18:01
Speaker
You have to leave when disrespect is the thing that's being served at the table.
00:18:04
Speaker
And that applies to all aspects of your life.
00:18:06
Speaker
I know we talk about it a lot in the context of dating, like leave when they start fucking up and making these kinds of mistakes.
00:18:11
Speaker
But honestly, this is relevant at all facets of your life.
00:18:13
Speaker
You should not stick around for people to disrespect you.
00:18:16
Speaker
And like when you do, what ends up happening is it sets a precedent for people to think that's an okay way to treat you.
00:18:22
Speaker
And so for me, the second they started doing that, I was like, okay, no, I'm leaving because I don't ever want to work for a place that thinks this is acceptable.
00:18:28
Speaker
But I feel like I was being rewarded for that choice because right after that, I mean, right before that, I got presented with a much better job offer.
00:18:35
Speaker
So if there's any advice I have for people, I think that just really believe in the universe, like rewarding you for doing what is right for yourself.
00:18:43
Speaker
For me, that was right.
00:18:44
Speaker
You know, for me, I was like, yeah, like this is my branding.
00:18:46
Speaker
This is my messaging.
00:18:47
Speaker
I tell everyone every week that, you know, leave at the first sign of the red flag.
00:18:51
Speaker
Don't stick around waiting for more.
00:18:52
Speaker
So I can hardly be the person who sticks around and is like, no, no, this is fine.
00:18:56
Speaker
Diana, it makes me so happy to hear that this is how you're kicking off 2025.
00:19:00
Speaker
I've also had some really interesting developments in these first few weeks of the year, which were things that I, you know, had potentially tried to do in the past and it hadn't worked out for XYZ reasons.
00:19:13
Speaker
And now coming back and saying, hey, actually, would you be interested in this project?
00:19:17
Speaker
We want to consider you.
00:19:18
Speaker
Would you audition this and that?
00:19:19
Speaker
And it's like, oh, my gosh, you know.
00:19:21
Speaker
This is what happens when you really dare to believe that there's so much available for you beyond what you could even imagine.
00:19:29
Speaker
And this idea of setting precedent for not allowing disrespect on any level, because it's really sort of a domino effect, right?
00:19:37
Speaker
If you're getting beleaguered and harassed at work,
00:19:40
Speaker
it's all the easier when you get on the bus or the train to like put up with the guy who's smacking you on the ass or like just being saying rude shit to you because you're already beaten down from the workday.
00:19:49
Speaker
And then you get home.
00:19:50
Speaker
And if you've got a man who, you know, just wants you to put the food on the table and shut up, even though you're visibly sad and distressed from your workday, like all of this just feeds into, you know, a really nasty situation.
00:20:03
Speaker
But the inverse is also true.
00:20:05
Speaker
The more you demand for yourself, the more you...
00:20:08
Speaker
permit only good to come into your world, the better it gets.
00:20:13
Speaker
And this is something that Diane and I in our pre-talk were talking about.
00:20:17
Speaker
It's just been unreal in the last six months alone, in the last year, how much things have changed and for the better for both of us.
00:20:24
Speaker
And I think
00:20:25
Speaker
It is partly just having to have this talk every week.
00:20:28
Speaker
And then the rest of the week, I'm like, am I living like I'm always talking about we should be living, you know, because it's one thing to say it.
00:20:36
Speaker
It's one thing to preach it.
00:20:37
Speaker
It's another to practice it.
00:20:38
Speaker
And so I really am grateful to being a podcast host here because it really does make me sort of have a weekly check in and come to my own mirror moment to say, am I really practicing what I'm preaching?
00:20:51
Speaker
And I have to say increasingly, yes.
00:20:52
Speaker
Yes.
00:20:53
Speaker
Yes.
00:20:53
Speaker
And you
Intentional Life Choices
00:20:54
Speaker
know what?
00:20:54
Speaker
Nobody told me or warned me how hard it is to start practicing what you preach because I've had to be very careful with this platform because, you know, we are an example to the people who listen to this platform.
00:21:05
Speaker
Like we're holding the line, you know, like we're the ones who are keeping those firm boundaries because
00:21:10
Speaker
You know, I'm sure people are like, well, both of them, like, I mean, you know, I'm sure people are like, well, both of them aren't dating.
00:21:15
Speaker
What are they doing?
00:21:15
Speaker
I'm like, well, that's very intentional choice.
00:21:18
Speaker
I'm not dating because I don't want to be.
00:21:20
Speaker
I'm not dating because the options are black.
00:21:24
Speaker
Right.
00:21:25
Speaker
If your options are shit or shittier, like what options are those?
00:21:28
Speaker
You know, if you abstain from eating shit, is that a character flaw on your behalf or is that actually a character strength?
00:21:35
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:37
Speaker
And I mean, at the end of the day, I'm not doing something just for the sake of it.
00:21:40
Speaker
We tell everyone on this platform to do things with intention.
00:21:44
Speaker
Intention should be the mantra of 2025.
00:21:47
Speaker
Do things with the intent to succeed.
00:21:50
Speaker
Do things with the intent to grow.
00:21:52
Speaker
Your objective shouldn't be I'm doing something for the sake of it just to feel like I'm participating in society.
00:21:58
Speaker
Who made society the arbiter of anything that's good?
00:22:01
Speaker
Society is a very fucked up place most of the time.
00:22:03
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:22:04
Speaker
There's a lot of shitty things about society.
00:22:06
Speaker
Like letting society dictate what you should be doing with your life is a very poor way to conduct your life.
00:22:11
Speaker
It's a recipe for disaster.
00:22:13
Speaker
It's a recipe for misery.
00:22:15
Speaker
Yeah, you realize people are fucking crazy.
00:22:18
Speaker
People are stupid.
00:22:20
Speaker
You're letting the unhinged guide your life and then being like, why do I not feel normal?
00:22:24
Speaker
You know?
00:22:25
Speaker
The unhinged and the mediocre.
00:22:27
Speaker
This is such a good point, Diana.
00:22:28
Speaker
Honestly, I think for the longest time, I wondered why I felt like I was
00:22:32
Speaker
always sticking out like a sore thumb or like I just didn't belong or like I always felt like something was wrong with me.
00:22:37
Speaker
Well, you know what?
00:22:38
Speaker
If you are a glorious Phoenix surrounded by peahens, of course, you're not going to fit in or belong.
00:22:45
Speaker
You don't belong.
00:22:46
Speaker
And I think for so long, I was just surrounded by general society.
00:22:49
Speaker
But as I've gotten older and more discerning, and this is something we also want to talk about studying as an intention this year,
00:22:54
Speaker
curating your social circles, defending your domicile.
00:22:59
Speaker
I mean, I have become like a zealous dragon over who is allowed in my social circle, who I spend time with socially.
00:23:08
Speaker
I mean, I've even had some friendships that have been gradually phasing out, friendships that have been very important to me, women whom I love dearly, but I'm seeing the writing on the wall.
00:23:16
Speaker
And it's not that there's anything wrong with them or that they've wronged me in some egregious way, but we grow up.
00:23:25
Speaker
And we move forward and we move on with our life.
00:23:27
Speaker
And sometimes people are at different phases in their lives and paths diverge.
00:23:32
Speaker
And that's totally natural and normal.
00:23:34
Speaker
And so this has been one thing for me as we've been talking more and more and as our friendship has grown, Diana.
00:23:40
Speaker
I mean, it's so meaningful for me to come in and talk with you every week, both in the pre-talk and then during the podcast hour, because you're really setting a standard for me as far as, is this what I'm getting in my day-to-day with the friends I'm letting in my life?
00:23:54
Speaker
Or am I just kind of like settling for company because I'm feeling lonely or because I feel like I should have a girl gang around me, you know?
00:24:02
Speaker
So it's been a shifting perspective for me over the last year as well.
00:24:06
Speaker
But more and more, what I'm realizing is like, my peace, nothing is more priceless than my peace.
00:24:14
Speaker
And the people who are in your social circle and the people who are in your home are going to determine how peaceful your life is.
00:24:22
Speaker
Yep, and I think, you know what, I feel the same way about my calls with you and that like it always makes me think about, at the end of the day, I think society told us we should be more concerned with the way things look versus how it makes us feel.
00:24:34
Speaker
And I think what I've learned from you is that, you know, your day-to-day and the way you've conducted your life
00:24:39
Speaker
has been to bring yourself a great deal of peace and happiness.
00:24:43
Speaker
And so even I have taken stock in my life and look back and been like, well, is my day to day giving me contentment?
00:24:48
Speaker
Is it giving me peace and happiness?
00:24:50
Speaker
Because it is about the everyday.
00:24:51
Speaker
I'm not living for the five year plan or the goal.
00:24:54
Speaker
I'm not living for the dream.
00:24:56
Speaker
I'm living for now.
00:24:58
Speaker
And right now in my circumstances, is that bringing me contentment?
00:25:02
Speaker
Is that bringing me fulfillment?
00:25:04
Speaker
I think I have to say I was very spoiled.
00:25:07
Speaker
in terms of the kinds of connections and friendships I had, because I think I naturally gravitated towards women who had a very decentered approach to men anyway.
00:25:15
Speaker
Again, it's not just a matter of, it's also the luck of being able to find such people, because they are a really rare breed, to be very honest with you.
00:25:23
Speaker
I don't really meet a lot of people who think and feel like me.
00:25:26
Speaker
I think part of it is that because I'm such a world traveler, and because I had the opportunity to go and meet people from different walks of life, you know, eventually our paths kept diverging.
00:25:34
Speaker
And like somebody I met in London, I could meet in Shanghai and somebody I met in Shanghai, I could make in LA and LA in New York, like everything was connected.
00:25:43
Speaker
And then I ended up finding people through like my different travels.
00:25:46
Speaker
And I was like, okay, now I've cobbled together.
00:25:48
Speaker
And it's never what you think it'll look like.
00:25:50
Speaker
I think I romanticized the idea of having a girl gang and like all these other things that we're told to like value.
00:25:56
Speaker
But then I realized I was like, yes, I do have a girl gang, but they're not in the same place.
00:26:00
Speaker
I cobbled together my own version of a support system.
00:26:05
Speaker
And what I was left with was
00:26:07
Speaker
incredibly supportive people who may not always all get to be there at the same time for me, but who fulfill very different needs in my life and who are actually people who champion me and want me to succeed.
00:26:18
Speaker
And like out of all of them, really the only people who know that I do this podcast are obviously Dr. Ashri Dable and my friend that I was staying with when I was on holiday and my cousin.
00:26:29
Speaker
And like, those are the most discreet people I know.
00:26:32
Speaker
So I was never worried about it, like being, you know, leaked out to anybody or anything like that.
00:26:36
Speaker
But these are people that I've known for like, a great degree of my life who also have very similar values and conduct their lives and possibly the exact same way that I do.
00:26:46
Speaker
And so for me, it was like, you are lucky if you meet those kinds of people.
00:26:51
Speaker
You know, FDSList, if you're a person who is like, I don't meet these kinds of people.
00:26:55
Speaker
And I live in a place where like a town, and I really relate to this.
00:26:58
Speaker
I live in a town where a lot of people are pick me's.
00:27:00
Speaker
I just met a matchmaker yesterday.
00:27:02
Speaker
And like, it took everything in me not to roll my eyes at everything she was saying.
00:27:05
Speaker
Because I was like, oh my God, the game is fucking rigged.
00:27:11
Speaker
so rigged to support male mediocrity, so rigged to support their lack of intention and initiative.
00:27:16
Speaker
And I was just like, yeah, we have to like, you know, dress up their lack of initiative as like, oh, no, they're just like being chill and they're being casual and like everything is not like that deep.
00:27:26
Speaker
And I mean, is it that everything is not that deep or is it that most people lack depth?
00:27:32
Speaker
We all just got called to the carpet, and I love it for us.
00:27:35
Speaker
This is so true.
00:27:36
Speaker
You know, actually, you bring up such a good point.
00:27:37
Speaker
That's the many good points that you tend to bring up.
00:27:40
Speaker
It can be, and I've been reading a lot online, especially about, you know, we decry the male loneliness epidemic.
00:27:45
Speaker
Like, if you're lonely males, go find friends, okay?
00:27:48
Speaker
It's hard enough being a woman and making friends because so often we lose our women friends to...
00:27:53
Speaker
caretaking of their parents or caretaking of their husband, child, or their child and their husband, child.
00:28:00
Speaker
Like women are constantly sheared off from other women.
00:28:04
Speaker
We are constantly sequestered and corralled and divided from one another through all of our caretaking obligations.
00:28:12
Speaker
And so the story of my friendships has often been the story of estrangement, you know, because they're wonderful until they're not.
00:28:18
Speaker
And then I might never see them again.
00:28:20
Speaker
I could be friends with them for 20 years.
00:28:22
Speaker
And they might just drop off the face of the earth if like, their husband has a minor squabble with me over I don't know, you know, some football team, let's just say.
00:28:31
Speaker
Because oftentimes it's not that the man has an issue with you.
00:28:34
Speaker
What he has an issue with is his wife having a close friendship with you.
00:28:37
Speaker
That's what he doesn't like.
00:28:39
Speaker
And so oftentimes they will divide us against one another.
00:28:41
Speaker
And so I think learning that I have to learn and I've had to and I have.
00:28:48
Speaker
learned how to be content with a select few people, because they are so wonderful.
00:28:55
Speaker
And they only create so much of a feedback loop of like healthy, nourishing, sort of prosperity, as far as friends go, just like we both prosper together, because we're each other's biggest hype person.
00:29:10
Speaker
That's the energy I want for all of us.
00:29:12
Speaker
It's okay.
00:29:13
Speaker
We're meant to have casual friends.
00:29:14
Speaker
We're meant to have acquaintances and friendly neighbors and things like that.
00:29:17
Speaker
We're not meant to only have best friends, okay?
00:29:19
Speaker
If you have just one, count yourself blessed.
00:29:23
Speaker
I think we forget that in times past, we were slaves.
00:29:27
Speaker
We were serfs.
00:29:29
Speaker
From sunup to sundown, the labor was backbreaking, and then you'd go to bed because there was no electricity and you didn't want to light your candles all night because they were expensive.
00:29:38
Speaker
or you'd burn your house down.
00:29:39
Speaker
Like, it is so crazy.
00:29:41
Speaker
We've never had such a time of luxury, although it's such a weird time of contrast with like, the paradox of climate change and the rise of fascism.
00:29:48
Speaker
And yet, like the luxuries that we enjoy, you know, are unparalleled from times past.
00:29:53
Speaker
The point is, in this world, the only person who can assure your peace is you, yourself and I. It's me, myself and I. That's it.
00:30:03
Speaker
It really is because of things like climate change and this massive political instability we're seeing in a lot of places where it's very easy to adopt the very Doomer approach of it's all going to shit.
00:30:13
Speaker
There's no point.
00:30:14
Speaker
Doomer, I've never heard that.
00:30:16
Speaker
That's amazing.
00:30:16
Speaker
It is.
00:30:17
Speaker
It's hardcore Doomer.
Seizing Opportunities
00:30:19
Speaker
And at the end of the day, it's like, I don't want to be a doomer because, you know, I realized more than anything, I was like, well, logically, if we do have a very finite time, which we would have had anyway, right?
00:30:30
Speaker
Like it's, we are not immortal beings.
00:30:32
Speaker
So we are very aware of the fact that like, there is an end to our lives.
00:30:36
Speaker
This might be the only gig I get this life wise.
00:30:40
Speaker
And like, why would I save what I want to do for something else for another time?
00:30:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:44
Speaker
This might be the only time I get to do that.
00:30:46
Speaker
So make the move, take up the new job, do the new thing.
00:30:49
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:30:50
Speaker
Like you really don't know that you'll be able to do it again.
00:30:53
Speaker
Like I remember years ago, I had like a professor in New York who was one of my first mentors when I started becoming a screenwriter.
00:30:59
Speaker
And when I told her, I was like, you know, I have this dream of going to LA and having my own TV show and stuff.
00:31:03
Speaker
She was like, do it now.
00:31:04
Speaker
Because when I was your age, that was what I wanted to.
00:31:07
Speaker
But then I stayed in New York, I got married and I had kids and then it became impossible for me to do that.
00:31:11
Speaker
And I always wonder like, what if like, I mean, she's very happy with her life.
00:31:14
Speaker
Like she has like a very nice husband and obviously a very nice kid.
00:31:18
Speaker
But she's like, I always wondered what would have happened if I had just taken that chance on myself, like my life would have looked so different.
00:31:22
Speaker
So if you're asking yourself that question, just take that chance because your life is going to present you with so many opportunities.
00:31:28
Speaker
And really, what is right or wrong?
00:31:30
Speaker
Like, who knows?
00:31:31
Speaker
Who knows?
00:31:32
Speaker
Who knows whether the other choice would have been the better choice, you know?
00:31:34
Speaker
And who decides, right?
00:31:35
Speaker
Like, what's right or what's wrong?
00:31:37
Speaker
My upstairs neighbor is lamenting that her son has dropped out of college.
00:31:40
Speaker
Now, both of her sons are very well educated.
00:31:43
Speaker
She and her husband are both very well educated.
00:31:45
Speaker
He's going to be great.
00:31:46
Speaker
He's a wonderful young man.
00:31:48
Speaker
But one thing I was saying to her was like, I started to say, let him make his own mistakes.
00:31:52
Speaker
But what I had to realize was like, just let him make his own choices for good or for ill.
00:31:56
Speaker
It's not necessarily that they're mistakes.
00:31:58
Speaker
And even if there are mistakes, so be it.
00:31:59
Speaker
Like we're human, we do make mistakes.
00:32:02
Speaker
But I think it's more so we have to reframe this idea of like taking chances, you know, making choices for good or ill.
00:32:09
Speaker
We have a finite number of days on this planet.
00:32:12
Speaker
We have a finite number of days that we're healthy on this planet.
00:32:17
Speaker
And I think it's so easy to say what if, and you know, it's so easy to equivocate and vacillate until you just kind of talk yourself quietly out of doing things.
00:32:27
Speaker
And I've had such an amazing life full of adventures and people always tell me, you got to write a memoir.
00:32:32
Speaker
I'm like, I would need a three part memoir because my life has been insane.
00:32:35
Speaker
But the reason it's been so fun and crazy and interesting is because I've always lived by the ethos.
00:32:41
Speaker
Like my whole mantra is why not do
00:32:44
Speaker
Why not take a crazy chance?
00:32:47
Speaker
Why not?
00:32:48
Speaker
Yes.
00:32:49
Speaker
And what's being said?
00:32:50
Speaker
How do you know it's crazy?
00:32:51
Speaker
Maybe it's the most brilliant idea you've ever had.
00:32:53
Speaker
Like a lot of times what looks like craziness is actually just fucking genius.
00:32:58
Speaker
But the lemmings and the masses aren't going to know that.
00:33:00
Speaker
To them, it's going to look like, you know, sheer madness.
00:33:03
Speaker
But I mean, honestly, like when Einstein was trying to figure out, you know, his M equals MC squared, whatever the hell that is.
00:33:11
Speaker
E equals MC squared.
00:33:12
Speaker
There it is.
00:33:13
Speaker
Thank you.
00:33:14
Speaker
Energy equals MC squared.
00:33:15
Speaker
Like people were like, oh, my God, this guy's so crazy.
00:33:18
Speaker
Like, what could he even possibly be thinking?
00:33:20
Speaker
Like, he's so far off the pale and beyond the pale.
00:33:23
Speaker
And then they're like, wait, oh, shit, he's right.
00:33:26
Speaker
And he's taken us like 100 years into the future because of like his grasp of physics, you know?
00:33:30
Speaker
I mean, obviously, we're not all Einsteins, but why can't we be if we dare to be?
00:33:35
Speaker
At the end of the day, I think it's just like you have nothing to lose.
00:33:38
Speaker
I think for this is where it comes back to what we were talking about in the friendship episode early on when we started this gig.
00:33:44
Speaker
Like, I think I'd spoken about how I had to end a friendship with someone last year because, oh, and by the by, I never removed her address from my DoorDash address.
00:33:52
Speaker
And last night I called for food and it got sent to her house.
00:33:54
Speaker
since dad's hot.
00:33:56
Speaker
No way.
00:33:56
Speaker
It was so funny.
00:33:58
Speaker
Anyway, random aside, it was just really funny that I was like, oh my God, why didn't I delete her address?
00:34:02
Speaker
I'm such an idiot.
00:34:03
Speaker
But anyway, that being said, it's so funny.
00:34:07
Speaker
It's wild.
00:34:07
Speaker
Oops.
00:34:08
Speaker
I was like, oops.
00:34:09
Speaker
I was just, you know, drunchies, drunchies.
00:34:12
Speaker
But anyway, it was just funny because I don't really go out that much, but last night I was out like really late.
00:34:16
Speaker
But anyway, point is that at that time, I remember saying that my biggest deal breaker in a friendship is insecurity.
00:34:22
Speaker
And honestly, people who are not making those kinds of changes in their life, people who don't have that kind of growth mindset, people who just, I've realized, I mean, this is just the honest truth, but, and people don't like the honest truth, but I'm going to say it anyway.
00:34:34
Speaker
So true.
00:34:34
Speaker
Some of y'all just like to complain.
00:34:36
Speaker
Okay.
00:34:37
Speaker
Oh, some of you just want a listening ear.
00:34:39
Speaker
You don't want to change your lives.
00:34:40
Speaker
You don't want to make, you're like, oh, my shit husband and my shit job and my shit life.
00:34:43
Speaker
And it's like, yes, you could make changes to that and like actually improve the quality and conditions of your life.
00:34:47
Speaker
But you don't want to do that.
00:34:48
Speaker
You just want to complain.
00:34:49
Speaker
God forbid.
00:34:50
Speaker
You just want to complain.
00:34:52
Speaker
And so I've gotten very tired of people who just complain.
00:34:54
Speaker
Like I've noticed in the last couple of years, like I complained about some things and then I worked to getting them changed and switched my life around and then like went and actually went and did those things.
00:35:03
Speaker
And like I've been talking to some of the same people and realized that in the two years that we were complaining about like these things in our life, their complaints haven't changed and they're still complaining about the same things.
00:35:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:14
Speaker
it still hasn't changed for them because they just wanted like a person to vent at and like monologue at and keep talking about how awful their lives are.
00:35:22
Speaker
So please, in this year, if you recognize yourself as that person, and if this hit home, do not be that person.
00:35:29
Speaker
Find a way to change.
00:35:31
Speaker
Take steps to change the quality and conditions of your life.
00:35:34
Speaker
Like, don't just be the person who's like, because you know what, as from a friendship perspective, it's very annoying to be the person who has to listen to the same person whine and complain every year.
00:35:43
Speaker
Like I've developed a distaste for it.
00:35:45
Speaker
So that's
00:35:45
Speaker
That's the thing, right?
00:35:46
Speaker
When you're moving and you're making big, big moves, the real friends who stay are the ones who are like supportive of that growth and want you to change and improve your life.
00:35:53
Speaker
And they won't indulge the bullshit and they won't indulge like your constant wallowing.
00:35:57
Speaker
They're going to be happy for the fact that you're taking tangible steps to improve your life.
00:36:01
Speaker
The kinds of people who are not your friends are people who are like threatened by your growth, are threatened by the fact that you're making moves and don't want you to leave because that puts them in a position of having to evaluate their own existence and they realize that they're not fucking doing shit with themselves.
00:36:15
Speaker
They're not doing shit.
00:36:16
Speaker
So, you know, this year when we talk about growth, it's like you have to evaluate your friendships as well.
00:36:20
Speaker
Because I mean, when I looked around at my friend circle, I was like, every single one of them has such a different career from what I have.
00:36:26
Speaker
One thing they all have in common is they have this growth mindset and they've all taken steps to improve their lives in different, different kinds of ways.
00:36:33
Speaker
And like, that's why it was so easy for them to support me.
00:36:36
Speaker
And like, I heard about so the friend that I stopped being friends with last year, from like a mutual connection, I heard about her last year, when we ended our friendship, she blamed a lot of her life problems on me and essentially said, it's like my fault that her life is shit.
00:36:49
Speaker
And like, then I heard that she had moved out of her house and gotten a new job, like she moved out of her family home.
00:36:53
Speaker
But my friend was like, it was never going to be permanent because she was still going back to her family home to do laundry and eat dinners.
00:36:59
Speaker
So it's like,
00:37:00
Speaker
Even though she had her own house, she was like still financially and like dependent on her family.
00:37:04
Speaker
And like now I've heard she's moved back to her old home, like with her family, the family that she was desperately trying to get rid of like the last year.
00:37:11
Speaker
Again, she spent so much time blaming me for the faults in her life.
00:37:15
Speaker
And what has happened in that time is my life has taken off and she's gone back and regressed back to her old self because the problem was never me.
00:37:22
Speaker
The problem was her.
00:37:24
Speaker
And like when I look at, you know, these days when I hear about people's friendships breaking up, I look at who continues to surround themselves with people they hate or they secretly disrespect.
00:37:32
Speaker
And then I look at the people who move on and end up succeeding in their lives, going and doing the things they said they would and surrounding themselves with people who are optimistic and positive, who really support them, who walked away with a genuine circle and support system and a group of friends and who ended up staying friends with people who they're in secret competition with or secretly hate.
00:37:51
Speaker
And when I look at her and I'm like, I was never the issue.
00:37:53
Speaker
I knew that.
00:37:54
Speaker
I knew that.
00:37:54
Speaker
But it's nice being validated to know like, oh, yeah, like a year later, a year later, my life has changed so much, so much.
00:38:02
Speaker
Like it's like unrecognizable from when we first started doing this podcast together.
00:38:06
Speaker
And with her, it's like her life is the same.
00:38:09
Speaker
Yeah, same old, same old.
00:38:10
Speaker
And I think you're right about like, okay, I understand that complaining can be a bonding activity.
00:38:16
Speaker
You know, like when people in the Midwest love to complain about the weather, I'm always like, well, the winter, it's the winter every year.
00:38:22
Speaker
Don't know why you're complaining about the cold.
00:38:25
Speaker
when it's a cyclical thing, like, yeah, at this point, I don't ever want to hear about the weather.
00:38:31
Speaker
Because to me, it's just a fact of life.
00:38:32
Speaker
It's a natural, it's a force of nature.
00:38:34
Speaker
And I just have to dress accordingly.
00:38:36
Speaker
That's that there's nothing else to be said.
00:38:38
Speaker
But people can have whole conversations for years about just the weather.
00:38:41
Speaker
And I think this idea of like, it just becomes a habit to complain.
00:38:45
Speaker
You know, of all the things I've been, I can say with pride, I've never been a whiner.
00:38:50
Speaker
I've never been a whiner.
00:38:51
Speaker
And I've never been a complainer.
00:38:52
Speaker
Sometimes I've wallowed, but that's a personal thing.
00:38:55
Speaker
That's not like me directing it outward.
00:38:57
Speaker
Like complainers have to have an audience, a captive audience that they can complain to.
00:39:02
Speaker
And like Diana, my patience has worn so thin.
00:39:05
Speaker
It's like it's paper thin at this point.
00:39:07
Speaker
In fact, most of the time, I won't even broke it.
00:39:09
Speaker
I won't even let people like start on it.
00:39:11
Speaker
I'll just be like, oh, well, you know what?
00:39:13
Speaker
I'm off to an appointment or like, you know what?
00:39:15
Speaker
Hold that thought.
00:39:16
Speaker
We'll get back to that later.
00:39:17
Speaker
Of course, I never want to get back to it later.
00:39:18
Speaker
We never will get back to it later.
00:39:20
Speaker
But I've learned how to interrupt people before they get... Because once they get going into their patter, it becomes increasingly harder to break into it, right?
00:39:27
Speaker
Because it's a script that they've got memorized.
00:39:30
Speaker
I remember when I moved to South America, I was in my mid-20s, early to mid-20s.
00:39:35
Speaker
I had to learn Spanish.
00:39:36
Speaker
It was really tough, especially when you're an older person.
00:39:39
Speaker
If you're not a kid, acquiring languages is always more difficult.
00:39:42
Speaker
But I was really determined and I did become fluent.
00:39:44
Speaker
I'm really glad I did.
00:39:45
Speaker
But what I was surprised at was like...
00:39:47
Speaker
how often I wanted to translate from English to Spanish, like, oh, I hate, or I can't.
00:39:54
Speaker
And all of a sudden, I realized, like, it came to me like a lightning bolt from the sky.
00:39:59
Speaker
I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so negative.
00:40:01
Speaker
Like, half the time, I want to start my sentences with I hate, or I can't.
00:40:06
Speaker
What a
00:40:06
Speaker
awful mentality.
00:40:07
Speaker
I'm really proud of myself actually for having realized that.
00:40:09
Speaker
And so I actually like made myself develop this internal like tripwire where every time that came to my mind, I had to stop myself and replace it with instead of I hate, I would say, well, I would rather, or I can't, I would replace it with, I would prefer, or I prefer, I'd rather, right?
00:40:27
Speaker
Like I had to teach myself how to replace this feedback loop of like constantly wanting to say, I can't, I hate, I won't.
00:40:36
Speaker
Which honestly, my life has only gotten better ever since I worked on that.
00:40:40
Speaker
Now, this is all to say, if you're somebody who really has a hard time, like interrupting yourself, because you know, there is a lot to complain about, like I get it.
00:40:48
Speaker
One thing you could do a lot of women tend to wear like hair ties around their wrist, or a scrunchie or anything like that.
00:40:55
Speaker
If you can actually just like, pick it up and snap it against your wrist every time you start to complain.
00:41:01
Speaker
and like physically interrupt that instinct, that learned response that you have, you will notice within a month that you will have decreased your complaining by like 80%.
00:41:11
Speaker
Yes.
00:41:11
Speaker
And again, like we always say you need to strive for progress on this podcast.
00:41:15
Speaker
We never say perfection.
00:41:16
Speaker
Never.
00:41:17
Speaker
Because perfection is an illusion.
00:41:18
Speaker
Like you're never going to be perfect.
00:41:19
Speaker
And like, that's fine.
00:41:20
Speaker
Okay, that's fine.
00:41:21
Speaker
Progress is more important.
00:41:23
Speaker
And this is something I noticed in my journaling as well.
00:41:25
Speaker
So like, because I'm so proud of the work I do, when I was unemployed, it was like the worst years of my life.
00:41:31
Speaker
Because I was, you know, so depressed, like so cash poor, just like, in general, like just didn't have the money or time to be able to do the fun things I wanted to do just like constantly just miserable.
00:41:44
Speaker
And like I started journaling as a practice to tap into my inner artist and my inner writer because I was like, I think the real reason I'm really upset is because I'm not writing.
00:41:53
Speaker
I'm not a writer.
00:41:54
Speaker
And when I'm not writing, that's the biggest sign to me that something is wrong.
00:41:57
Speaker
Like that's when I know because that's so close to my identity that I'm like, it'll be like if you stop playing the piano.
00:42:03
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:42:03
Speaker
It's like, you know that something is really wrong.
00:42:06
Speaker
So I started journaling as a way to stay tethered to writing.
00:42:10
Speaker
more than anything, like I didn't put any expectation of like morning pages of like three pages of like a brain dump or anything.
00:42:15
Speaker
I was like, I did the artist's way and I found it helpful.
00:42:18
Speaker
But I was like, oh, in order for it to be a consistent practice for me, I need to do it my way.
00:42:23
Speaker
And so I started journaling as a way to be like, hmm, you know, maybe one day when I'm like dead and gone, and they find like archaeological evidence of my existence, they're going to be like a portrait of a woman in 2025.
00:42:33
Speaker
And like, I better be funny.
00:42:36
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:42:37
Speaker
Because I'd like the future human beings to look at me and be like,
00:42:40
Speaker
People were really funny out in 2025.
00:42:42
Speaker
So I started writing as a way to be like my own Bridget Jones.
00:42:45
Speaker
And as I started writing, I noticed, like now when I look back at earlier journal entries versus now, I remember I used to say this a lot.
00:42:51
Speaker
I used to say, I hope this works out.
00:42:54
Speaker
I think this is a good idea.
00:42:56
Speaker
Maybe if this happens, if all goes well, and like I don't use those words or those phrases anymore.
00:43:02
Speaker
I never say I hope I'm like, I know this will be fine.
00:43:05
Speaker
I believe that's going to be all right.
00:43:06
Speaker
I was like, ah, even if this happens, like, and sometimes I've replaced if with when.
00:43:11
Speaker
I'm like, if I become famous, I've become, oh, yeah, when I'm famous.
00:43:16
Speaker
When I have the money to do this, when I have the ability to do this.
00:43:19
Speaker
And like last year, like, you know, I didn't believe I could go to Italy for like my writing retreat.
00:43:24
Speaker
I did.
00:43:24
Speaker
I didn't believe I could go and do the kinds of travel I did.
00:43:27
Speaker
And I did like, I noticed that like in my journal entries, things started changing.
00:43:30
Speaker
Like when I changed things from if to when, when I started changing things from hope to believe or it will happen, I know.
00:43:39
Speaker
And when I changed I think to I know, like things started shifting.
00:43:43
Speaker
in the way I perceived my own circumstances.
00:43:45
Speaker
Not because like the material conditions or anything were different, like obviously the situation was the same.
00:43:50
Speaker
But my perspective and my mindset on those issues changed immensely.
00:43:55
Speaker
I had less, you know, lack of self confidence.
00:43:58
Speaker
I did not like think that things wouldn't work out in my favor.
00:44:01
Speaker
I assumed they
Positive Mindset and Reality
00:44:02
Speaker
would.
00:44:02
Speaker
I assumed exceptions would be made for me like,
00:44:04
Speaker
Literally, that was one of the things I said in my retreat with one of my friends that I made on the retreat.
00:44:09
Speaker
I was like, things tend to work out for me.
00:44:10
Speaker
I'm a very lucky person.
00:44:11
Speaker
Exceptions are made for me.
00:44:12
Speaker
And she found that really amusing.
00:44:13
Speaker
And she was like, for you, exceptions are made.
00:44:15
Speaker
And I told her about the entire situation I had with work recently.
00:44:18
Speaker
And I told her how I was offered a job literally the same day I decided to quit.
00:44:21
Speaker
And she was like, exceptions are made for you.
00:44:26
Speaker
And now you've got that energy like being fed back to you from your friend, right?
00:44:30
Speaker
That's one thing I always loved for my therapist.
00:44:32
Speaker
She was like,
00:44:33
Speaker
Rose, mana falls from heaven for you in a way unlike I've ever seen in my entire history of psychotherapy.
00:44:40
Speaker
Of course we're very lucky people.
00:44:42
Speaker
We're on this podcast.
00:44:44
Speaker
But it's so true.
00:44:45
Speaker
Exceptions have been made, you know, like, I'm often just like granted these favors that there are not granted to other people.
00:44:51
Speaker
And it's not like I don't take it for granted.
00:44:53
Speaker
And I think that's part of the this fact that it continues to happen for me is because I am so grateful.
00:44:59
Speaker
I'm so cognizant of the fact that like, these are immeasurable riches, it's literally manna falling from heaven.
00:45:06
Speaker
But I think your point, Diana, is perception, to a certain extent, is reality.
00:45:11
Speaker
How we perceive our environment and our life is more or less how we experience it.
00:45:15
Speaker
And so I think for FDS girlies, understanding that you will only allow the best kind of men in your world, the best kind of people as friends and as neighbors, the best kind of coworkers and bosses, because you can.
00:45:29
Speaker
The two ladies I'm working for now are the best bosses I've ever had.
00:45:32
Speaker
They are honorable and decent women.
00:45:35
Speaker
And they say what they mean and they mean what they say.
00:45:38
Speaker
And as far as I'm concerned, you can't ask for more from a boss.
00:45:41
Speaker
And oh, and I got a bonus from Christmas from them.
00:45:43
Speaker
I was like, what?
00:45:44
Speaker
I'm getting a bonus of cash money.
00:45:46
Speaker
Like, thank you so much.
00:45:47
Speaker
Wasn't expecting that.
00:45:49
Speaker
But again, like these riches just continue to be showered upon me and upon us, Diana.
00:45:54
Speaker
And I think so much has to do with that mental shift and that sort of linguistic framing we give things in the silence of our own head.
00:46:02
Speaker
And like not to be unconventional, but if I'm going to take any inspiration from the Scroats this year, it's to embody their sense of audaciousness.
00:46:11
Speaker
You know, be audacious, like dare to dream, dare to ask.
00:46:14
Speaker
Like Elon Musk was like, you know what, I'm going to buy a democratic election.
00:46:19
Speaker
And he did.
00:46:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:22
Speaker
He was like, I'm going to buy Twitter.
00:46:23
Speaker
And he did.
00:46:26
Speaker
I'm going to be president even with a convicted record.
00:46:30
Speaker
And he did.
00:46:31
Speaker
And he did.
00:46:32
Speaker
That's the audacity we want for all of us.
00:46:34
Speaker
We want the women from this podcast to embody the audaciousness of scrotes and like ask for more from your life.
00:46:40
Speaker
Like I just had this conversation with a friend of mine who was like, oh, like men have never like paid for me.
00:46:44
Speaker
I mean, like, you know, this is a conversation for like another week that I told Rose that I would have with her about like musings and like how far I've grown from people, you know, I have been friends with in the past who I haven't seen and like how different our lives have been, you know, after we've taken stock of like the big gap in like how long we've spoken.
00:47:01
Speaker
But I was like, I was genuinely shocked.
00:47:03
Speaker
I was like, wait, what?
00:47:04
Speaker
And like, yeah, like, there are lots of women out here who have not been wined and dined, who've not been taken on proper dates, who've not had shit paid for for them.
00:47:10
Speaker
And for me, like, that is the norm, because exceptions are made for me.
00:47:16
Speaker
I don't go out on dates with men who don't do that because exceptions are made for me.
00:47:20
Speaker
And like, if you don't do that, you're going to, you know what I mean?
00:47:23
Speaker
Like I was just telling Rose that, you know, when I was traveling, I got asked out by like eight different people in person.
00:47:29
Speaker
So like girls, you don't even need to use the dating apps.
00:47:31
Speaker
Okay.
00:47:31
Speaker
Like people ask you out, like just mingle, just mingle and have conversations with people and just be your vivacious self.
00:47:37
Speaker
And like, you will draw people in.
00:47:39
Speaker
I'm a very interesting person.
00:47:40
Speaker
And so by nature, people just want to get to know me.
00:47:42
Speaker
I don't worry about that at all.
00:47:43
Speaker
I walk into a room and I command it.
00:47:45
Speaker
I have that kind of presence.
00:47:46
Speaker
I have ultimate riz as the youngins have to say.
00:47:50
Speaker
I love it.
00:47:50
Speaker
So full of riz.
00:47:52
Speaker
So full of riz.
00:47:53
Speaker
I don't worry about this.
00:47:54
Speaker
But like, again, I didn't go out on any of those dates because those men could not plan.
00:47:58
Speaker
And so I did like I was telling Rose, I did like a series of experiments to be like, what happens when you don't lock and delete right away?
00:48:04
Speaker
And what ends up happening is in one occasion, you know, I remember telling the guy because he seemed to want to go on a date with me, but he was like a director and I was like, oh, maybe he's a good contact work wise.
00:48:12
Speaker
So I told him, so no one the date, you and I will not be going on a date, but we will be going out on dinner and you will be buying it.
00:48:17
Speaker
And he was very amused.
00:48:19
Speaker
But again, when the time came to plan that the hangout, I guess, because it wasn't a date, it was a business call.
00:48:25
Speaker
It was like on a Sunday at one and he messages me at Sunday at one 30 saying, can we take a rain check?
00:48:31
Speaker
And I blocked and deleted him because imagine if I was Elon Musk or a man he really respected in the business, right?
00:48:37
Speaker
He would have never left me hanging.
00:48:39
Speaker
Never.
00:48:40
Speaker
The fact that he did that was because I was a woman and he felt comfortable doing that.
00:48:43
Speaker
So I didn't let him disrespect me.
00:48:45
Speaker
Like he was like, oh, can we do a rain check?
00:48:46
Speaker
And I blocked and deleted him because I was like, there is no fucking rain check.
00:48:48
Speaker
You had one opportunity.
00:48:49
Speaker
This is a professional call.
00:48:51
Speaker
I told you that I outlined what the intention of this meetup would be from the beginning.
00:48:55
Speaker
And let's be real, Diana, like these men go out to eat all the time.
00:48:58
Speaker
Like they don't cook at home.
00:48:59
Speaker
Typically, they're going out to eat every single day.
00:49:01
Speaker
It's not like they don't know how to do it.
00:49:03
Speaker
It's just that they didn't value enough to actually put in the work.
00:49:06
Speaker
And that's their best foot forward.
00:49:08
Speaker
Like it's not going to get any better from that.
00:49:10
Speaker
It's all downhill from there.
00:49:11
Speaker
Yeah, it's not.
00:49:13
Speaker
He's not going to start buying you the fucking Hope Diamond after doing that.
00:49:17
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:49:17
Speaker
So he's not going to make you the next Elizabeth Taylor.
00:49:20
Speaker
Like that's not going to happen.
00:49:21
Speaker
So just let it go.
00:49:23
Speaker
But like, that was one situation.
00:49:24
Speaker
The other situation, this guy asked me out, he was very into me.
00:49:27
Speaker
And like, you know, trying the very flirty mentor on the social media app.
00:49:30
Speaker
But like, I got like a social media app for that country, because that's what they use.
00:49:33
Speaker
And I was like, I wasn't on the app that much, because obviously, it's not an app I use at all.
00:49:37
Speaker
I just had it for my travel.
00:49:39
Speaker
And so he messages me.
00:49:40
Speaker
And basically, he was a teacher.
00:49:42
Speaker
And like, we were supposed to meet on a Friday.
00:49:45
Speaker
And then Friday comes and he's like, I'm very exhausted from work.
00:49:48
Speaker
I'm so sorry, but can we take a rain check?
00:49:49
Speaker
And I was, I'm very sorry, but like, can we meet another weekend, like another day on
00:49:53
Speaker
the weekend.
00:49:53
Speaker
And I was like, no, I have plans on the weekend, which I did.
00:49:56
Speaker
I mean, I encourage you, if you didn't have plans to say you have plans, because again, they need to be able to make it work on your time, not the other way around.
00:50:02
Speaker
And I had already given him an appointment, like I'd already given him a time.
00:50:06
Speaker
The other thing I had a problem with was this person hadn't outlined exactly where we meet.
00:50:09
Speaker
He said a general neighborhood, but he didn't say a place in that neighborhood.
00:50:12
Speaker
So I was like, where the fuck are we meeting, man?
00:50:13
Speaker
Like, I need to know.
00:50:14
Speaker
Because this is not a country I'm from.
00:50:16
Speaker
I don't know the area that well.
00:50:17
Speaker
I don't speak the language.
00:50:18
Speaker
Like my safety is very important.
00:50:20
Speaker
The fact that you haven't made these considerations, like make me not like you.
00:50:23
Speaker
And so what ended up happening is because of that appointment falling through with the other guy, like the one who was like, let's take a rain check.
00:50:30
Speaker
I was like, well, on second thought, I actually do have this appointment open on Sunday.
00:50:33
Speaker
Now bear in mind, I advise against this.
00:50:35
Speaker
I only did this for this podcast to give you guys the information.
00:50:38
Speaker
She was doing her homework, dear listeners.
00:50:40
Speaker
Yeah, I was doing this experiment just to tell all of you what will happen if you don't lock and delete right away when men start acting up.
00:50:46
Speaker
When they fuck around, they find out.
00:50:48
Speaker
And they did on this trip for me because I did lock and delete all of them eventually.
00:50:52
Speaker
But I intentionally did not block and delete him right away because I was like, well, what happens if I give him a second chance?
00:50:56
Speaker
Is he grateful for that opportunity?
00:50:58
Speaker
And does he strive to do more?
00:50:59
Speaker
And I recall telling him, I was like, well, you're going to be getting my cab because again, I didn't have the apps appropriate for that country because my card was not working.
00:51:06
Speaker
And so I was like, you are going to have to book my cab because I don't know where the fuck to come.
00:51:10
Speaker
And he was like, I'm very inclined to do everything you want me to do because I was very mean to a lot of them.
00:51:15
Speaker
I was straight up like so rude to all of them.
00:51:17
Speaker
They were obsessed with me.
00:51:18
Speaker
It was actually so funny to witness that.
00:51:20
Speaker
And they were like, please, please give us the opportunity to be your doormat.
00:51:24
Speaker
I was like, yeah, sure.
00:51:27
Speaker
Wish granted.
00:51:28
Speaker
I remember one guy was chasing me around a bar being like, just say one nice thing to me, I beg you.
00:51:32
Speaker
And I was like, go away.
00:51:36
Speaker
I know you're cracking me up.
00:51:38
Speaker
I wasn't dying to go on dates with these people.
00:51:40
Speaker
Let me just be very honest.
00:51:40
Speaker
It was like, I just did this because I was like, well, I want to put the theory to the test of what happens when we don't follow FDS principles.
00:51:47
Speaker
I had no intention of going on dates with any of these people.
00:51:50
Speaker
I was just like, let me see what happens and then gather the data so I can share with you what happened.
00:51:54
Speaker
But basically what happened was like, oh, well, you know what?
00:51:56
Speaker
Turns out my Sunday actually opened up.
00:51:58
Speaker
He was like, okay, yeah, let's plan for Sunday at the same location at 7 p.m.
00:52:03
Speaker
Okay?
00:52:04
Speaker
And again, again, had no actual location or restaurant for where we were meeting no plan of like, asking me, hey, what kind of food are you into?
00:52:13
Speaker
Or like, you know, do you have any dietary restrictions or things like that?
00:52:16
Speaker
Like nothing just like a general location and neighborhood at 7pm.
00:52:20
Speaker
And that neighborhood is big.
00:52:21
Speaker
Okay, like that's like saying, let's meet at the south side.
00:52:24
Speaker
Like what the fuck does that mean?
00:52:25
Speaker
Right, exactly.
00:52:27
Speaker
I already was like, obviously, no.
00:52:29
Speaker
But then Sunday rolls around.
00:52:31
Speaker
And at 5pm, which is like two hours before our date, he messages saying, hey, so are we going to meet at seven?
00:52:37
Speaker
And I was like, well, I didn't hear from you all day.
00:52:39
Speaker
So I made other plans.
00:52:41
Speaker
Because that's what he deserved.
00:52:43
Speaker
Right?
00:52:43
Speaker
Like, you asked me out.
00:52:45
Speaker
You're asked for a rain check.
00:52:46
Speaker
You extended a second, like dispensation.
00:52:49
Speaker
Exactly.
00:52:50
Speaker
And you still couldn't manage to get your shit together until two hours before...
00:52:54
Speaker
You're supposed to meet somewhere with a foreign lady who doesn't know where it is.
00:52:58
Speaker
Bear in mind that like it had been a week since he had officially had asked me out.
00:53:02
Speaker
Okay, like he had asked me out around the new year.
00:53:04
Speaker
And like a week later, he still hadn't come back with an actual location.
00:53:09
Speaker
Like in my view, they should be planning the date from the jump from the beginning.
00:53:13
Speaker
like, hey, what's your restrictions like?
00:53:15
Speaker
What kind of food do you like?
00:53:16
Speaker
How far, you know, if I try to find a location that is convenient to you, like basically doing everything that's necessary.
00:53:21
Speaker
I was like, if I'm going that far, you're paying for my cab because the city I was in is huge, okay?
00:53:26
Speaker
It wouldn't have been convenient for me to take.
00:53:27
Speaker
You're not from there.
00:53:28
Speaker
I'm not from there, so I'm not.
00:53:29
Speaker
It's not your language.
00:53:31
Speaker
Like all of the reasons.
00:53:32
Speaker
Just think about this.
00:53:33
Speaker
What do you do when you're getting together with just like a regular friend or even a business colleague?
00:53:38
Speaker
You make sure you know what their allergies are, what their restrictions are, what their preferences are.
00:53:43
Speaker
And then you set a time and a place like that's the bare minimum to be respectful, to like show.
00:53:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:49
Speaker
It's the bare minimum of social decency and decorum.
00:53:51
Speaker
And at the end of the day, I just feel like you're under socialized if you can't plan an appointment.
00:53:55
Speaker
Like, would you do this with a person like a male mentor figure you actually respect?
00:53:59
Speaker
No, you wouldn't.
00:54:00
Speaker
And so at 5pm, he's like, Oh, let's meet.
00:54:02
Speaker
I was like, I made other plans.
00:54:03
Speaker
And I did.
00:54:04
Speaker
I went to a beautiful tea garden and I got a bunch of tea from my family.
00:54:07
Speaker
And like there was like lanterns and I went to this lantern festival with my friend and it was like such a nice trip.
00:54:12
Speaker
And like, here's the contrast with, I met like another FDS aligned queen when I was there and like we made plans.
00:54:19
Speaker
So like I told her, like she was like, we both will be a lot more free after the new year.
00:54:22
Speaker
So after the new year, I hit her up and I was like, let's meet.
00:54:25
Speaker
And she was like, okay, I'm free tomorrow.
00:54:27
Speaker
Do you want to meet tomorrow?
00:54:27
Speaker
I was like, yeah.
00:54:28
Speaker
How about after one?
00:54:29
Speaker
Knowing that, you know, I sleep in a lot.
00:54:31
Speaker
So I was like, yeah, after one is definitely doable.
00:54:33
Speaker
She's like, cool.
00:54:34
Speaker
How about one o'clock at this place?
00:54:35
Speaker
And I was like, great.
00:54:37
Speaker
Guess who was at one o'clock?
00:54:38
Speaker
Like, see how easy that was?
00:54:40
Speaker
We planned to meet the next day.
00:54:41
Speaker
She gave me a time and location.
00:54:43
Speaker
She showed up to set time and location.
00:54:45
Speaker
And like we were chatting so much, we lost all track of time.
00:54:47
Speaker
We were at that venue for like five hours.
00:54:49
Speaker
And then she had like a sound bath to get to.
00:54:51
Speaker
And she was like, I can't believe how much time we spent together.
00:54:53
Speaker
And like, this might be the best date of my life, this friendship date.
00:54:57
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:54:58
Speaker
Like, cause she was engaging, interesting.
00:55:00
Speaker
She had like an interesting life for her own.
00:55:01
Speaker
She asked good questions.
00:55:02
Speaker
I was like, wow, she did better than most of the men who expressed a romantic interest in me who wanted to take me out on a date.
00:55:08
Speaker
They couldn't plan a location.
00:55:09
Speaker
They couldn't set a time.
00:55:10
Speaker
They couldn't even follow through on their appointments.
00:55:12
Speaker
So I got asked out by like, I don't know, five to six different people.
00:55:16
Speaker
I don't even remember how many now because I was like,
00:55:18
Speaker
No, like after I saw what they were actually able to love, I was like, no to all of them.
00:55:22
Speaker
And I wasn't really attracted to most of them.
00:55:23
Speaker
So it was fine.
00:55:24
Speaker
I mean, even if I was, I would not have tolerated this behavior.
00:55:26
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:55:27
Speaker
But I, with the two of them, I was like, well, I want to see what happens if I do indulge them, knowing of course that I was never going to go.
00:55:34
Speaker
And this is what happens.
00:55:35
Speaker
Don't think that because you give someone a second chance, like men are not appreciative
Relationship Standards
00:55:39
Speaker
of second chances.
00:55:39
Speaker
They start doing the shit testing from the beginning to see what they can get away with.
00:55:43
Speaker
And if they feel like they can play around and you're not like a strict woman about your time, they feel like they can play around with your time and your time is theirs for the taking.
00:55:50
Speaker
They're not appreciative of the second chance.
00:55:52
Speaker
Like again, he had a second chance and he still didn't take the initiative to plan anything.
00:55:56
Speaker
So it would have always been a waste of time.
00:55:58
Speaker
They should be lucky to get a chance.
00:56:00
Speaker
Okay.
00:56:00
Speaker
They're lucky to get a chance.
00:56:02
Speaker
And beyond that, they don't get any more.
00:56:04
Speaker
Diana, I love, I love hearing these.
00:56:07
Speaker
It would have always been a waste of time.
00:56:08
Speaker
Right.
00:56:09
Speaker
I love these anecdotes, but you know what?
00:56:11
Speaker
We actually do have to wrap it up for today, which it's always so hard because especially it's been a whole month since we've talked to each other.
00:56:16
Speaker
Like there's so much to catch up on, but if you keep listening, dear listeners, we will continue to keep you abreast.
00:56:22
Speaker
And we will continue to set sail into 2025 with glad hearts and FDS driven principles.
00:56:29
Speaker
Yes.
00:56:30
Speaker
And as always, just remember, you know, we have bonus episodes on Patreon.
00:56:34
Speaker
We would love all of your support and continue leaving comments on Spotify, even though I don't get to read them.
00:56:39
Speaker
But like, you know, I send them over.
00:56:41
Speaker
I copy and paste them to Diana when I can.
00:56:43
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:56:44
Speaker
I would love to see what people are saying.
00:56:46
Speaker
And I'm very excited.
00:56:47
Speaker
I hope everybody has a good new year.
00:56:48
Speaker
But just I hope you learn from these experiences that we're sharing and like, just understand that like, there's a reason we have these rules.
00:56:54
Speaker
And it's not because they don't work.
00:56:56
Speaker
Okay, this is what happens when you don't follow the rules.
00:57:00
Speaker
And so as always, block and delete the useless stuff in your life, block and delete the negativity from our people around you and like the
00:57:07
Speaker
bad vibes.
00:57:08
Speaker
If you had a terrible 2024, like a bad vibes of 2024, block and delete that, move on to 2025.
00:57:13
Speaker
And this is a fresh start.
00:57:16
Speaker
This is a chance to do it right.
00:57:18
Speaker
And this is a chance to honor your goals.
00:57:20
Speaker
And yeah, we will keep you updated on what's going on in life.
00:57:23
Speaker
And like, yeah, really excited for this year.
00:57:25
Speaker
We have a lot of really interesting things lined up a lot of interesting guest episodes and a lot of awesome things going on in the future.
00:57:31
Speaker
Seriously, stay tuned.
00:57:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:34
Speaker
And as always, die mad, Skrulls.
00:57:36
Speaker
Die the maddest.
00:57:38
Speaker
Bye for now.
00:57:39
Speaker
I hope your 2025 is terrible.
00:57:42
Speaker
And to all the queens, I hope you have a wonderful 2025.
00:57:45
Speaker
Be blessed.
00:57:45
Speaker
Talk to you soon.
00:57:46
Speaker
Bye.