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Feeding a Picky Eater: The Do’s and Don’ts, Causes and Consequences in Children
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In this episode of Just 4 Moms, Megan, Kallie, and Charlotte tackle one of the most frustrating parenting phases: picky eating. From toddlers who turn their noses up at anything green to kids who love pizza sauce but won’t touch it on pasta, we’ve seen it all. The moms share honest stories of food fails (apple pancakes, anyone?), the stress of restaurant dining with selective eaters, and how their approaches have evolved over time.
They dive into research-backed facts on childhood eating habits, the science behind picky phases (did you know toddlers have more taste buds than adults?), and the importance of repeated exposure and modeling healthy behavior. Registered dietician and mom of two, Adriana Liberatore, joins the conversation to offer expert advice on ditching labels, the value of involving kids in food prep, and tips to gently expand your child's palate.
Plus, don’t miss “Mom Fails,” some hilarious car ride “Would You Rather?” scenarios, and the weekly Pits & Peaks.
Whether you’re deep in the beige food era or celebrating your kid’s first bite of sushi, this episode will leave you feeling informed, validated, and less alone.
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Transcript
Introduction and Host Discussion
00:00:00
Speaker
I was thinking about you, Callie. Without Caitlin, what is the layout going to be in the video? Should we put just like a little sad emoji face in the fourth quadrant? I know. On social, I'll just do this the back and forths, I guess.
00:00:11
Speaker
We could probably get three all in a row. You could probably do three. You're right. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I probably could. I feel like I've seen it that way. Yeah. Yeah. They do it for Travis Kelsey's.
00:00:23
Speaker
Oh, yes. You're right. i have Well, if he can do it, we can do it. Yeah. That's right. Welcome to Just For Moms. I'm Charlotte. I'm Kaitlin. I'm Megan. And I'm Callie. We are regular moms talking about regular stuff like aging, parenthood, work-life balance, and figuring out what's for dinner.
00:00:40
Speaker
Again, a no-judgment zone to talk, laugh, and maybe cry about all the things women think about on a daily basis. things i'll plan the things And we're back, Just For Moms. And today we have Megan, Callie, and Charlotte Unfortunately, Caitlin isn't feeling well. We hope she feels better. but So you'll have the three of us today.
Parenting Challenges: Handling Repetitive Questions
00:01:00
Speaker
Hi. Just three moms. That was quick. We'll have to do double duty. Anyways, let's get right into a chat here. Let's start it up with, I would like to know from Callie and Charlotte. Okay.
00:01:18
Speaker
Okay? Let's get right into it. I was looking at a bunch of would you rather – And I was giggling. I know. I thought this would be a fun reel for us to do eventually too. But so it's summertime for us presently.
00:01:32
Speaker
and I would like to know, would you rather have a child who always says, are we there yet? Or can I have a snack on a long car ride?
00:01:47
Speaker
Charlotte, you go first. I mean, my kids have devices of sorts, so they they have a sense of the time. i chose snack because, i mean, I don't want either, but I prefer the snack because I do have snacks and that's something that they can pack for themselves. And so I can also like reverse Uno them and be like, did you pack a snack? That's on you.
00:02:10
Speaker
But my least favorite is the bathroom or I feel sick. Yes. Yeah. I feel like my kids get car sick in the car as well. We haven't had a car sick situation, but I have the little car vomit bags that everyone tells you to buy just because I've heard so many horror stories.
00:02:28
Speaker
We don't do a lot ah ton of like long car rides. We're doing one this summer. So I don't know. Good thing I have them. But I also would pick, I would also pick snack, especially just because my kids are, um mine's the opposite, but because my kids are younger, like concept of time is just not there anyways. So like that is, I would rather them ask for a snack. I feel like it's more concrete.
00:02:49
Speaker
Yes. To explain. Yes. i I have to say that I am in the same boat as you two. Can I have a snack? Because even when we go five minutes down the road to like the tennis lesson, you know, it's like, are we there yet? And I'm like,
00:03:05
Speaker
We go this way every time.
Creative Solutions for Managing Expectations
00:03:08
Speaker
Like, how do you not know? Like, you look out the window, it's a few more minutes. Like, and I'm always like, when the question gets asked, look at the child and I'm like, are we really asking this?
00:03:20
Speaker
Like, you know the way. Yeah. And also, again, like, i ah not that my six year old, like he can understand what 10 minutes is, but like, I don't know, sort of. And then so when he asks, I'll be like, oh, about 10 minutes.
00:03:33
Speaker
I'm like, you don't even really know what it means. And then I'm always like, and and you know, I can't tell you exactly because there's like stoplights and traffic because he always wants like an this like exact answer of when we're going to arrive. And i'm like, that's not how it works.
00:03:50
Speaker
Well, and even the older kids, they have a vague sense. And so I find myself having to put it in terms, like we went out for dinner last night and it was about 25 minutes away. And they like, oh, and I was like, that's the same distance as like going to your friend's house last week. And then she was like, no oh, okay. So for miles, it would be like, that's like going to McDonald's four times or whatever is something.
00:04:11
Speaker
that he can relate to. Yes, yes. Yeah. I know. I saw one time on Instagram, somebody had gone on a long car, like a long car, maybe cross country, real far with her kids. And she had done painter's tape, like across the top of the, have you seen this, the windshield.
00:04:26
Speaker
And then they had like a little car. And so she would kind of move it as they got closer to the destination. and I was like, that's kind of cute. But I also don't know if that would just backfire and cause more questions. Yeah. It's like that airline map. Yeah.
00:04:38
Speaker
Yeah. yes Yeah. So I don't know. I don't think I'm going to do it for our trip, but... Nico always asks me, because I use like the Waze, and he'll be like, well, let me see... you Because I feel like you just always say 10, 15 minutes, even if it's like two hours.
00:04:53
Speaker
You know, it's just like my go-to. And he'll be like, well, let me see it on the Waze. And I'm like, ugh. So then like he can look on the dashboard or if we're somewhere where I'm able to give him my phone or one of the kids can grab it. And then he's like, and it's actually...
00:05:09
Speaker
89 minutes. It's not 10 or 15. I'm like, wow, I must have misread it. Yeah. We also have the find my for my mom, who's like one of the people who comes to our house the most. So sometimes when they want, of course, that's the same thing. When somebody's coming over, when are they going to be here? And you're like, I don't know. They're coming after lunch, you know?
00:05:27
Speaker
So with my mom, I'll show them on my phone, like where she is. And so when other people are coming, they're like, well, show us on the map. And I'm like, I don't have everybody's location, ah you know? Yeah. that's another We don't have a life 360 for mom, Callie?
00:05:41
Speaker
No, no, I don't. My kids will ask when Mark is getting home, like every night. And I'm like, I don't know. I have stopped asking and he has never, ever, like the heads up might be like, I'm like two stations away on Metro North, which is at that point, the horse is out of the barn. No help.
00:06:00
Speaker
Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. All right. So we would rather deal with the snacks than the annoyance of our are you are we there yet?
00:06:10
Speaker
We would. would.
Food Challenges and Creative Parenting
00:06:13
Speaker
Okay. Let's move on to mom fails. are we Do we have any mom fails this week in your house, Callie? I've got a good one for what we're gonna talk about today. okay Today i made pancakes for breakfast, which we do at least once a week. And sometimes I don't go crazy, but like sometimes we'll do cinnamon, vanilla, or we might do, you know, chocolate chip. But this time I did apple and I shredded apple into it so it wasn't chunks.
00:06:38
Speaker
And all of my children refused to eat the apple pancake for whatever reason. They all like apples and they all like pancakes and there weren't chunks. I don't know. it was fail. have a kid who doesn't like warm fruit.
00:06:50
Speaker
So that rules out pie. It rules out a lot of delicious options. ah huh I mean, I can understand like if it were sliced soft apple. Like I get that. It was literally shaved in there. It was like I might as sort just added apple flavor. Yes. what was Was there a reasoning by any one of your kids that?
00:07:08
Speaker
No. I'm not sure why Tate didn't eat them because he just would eat whatever. I think he was just following Sue. That's a lie. Opal ate them, but you know she's nine months old. She eats whatever you put in front of her. I don't, Miles doesn't like apples today. Okay. I'm not really sure.
00:07:21
Speaker
And Finley just didn't like these. She really wanted the vanilla ones. So I think they were just being angsty or something. and Everyone woke up in that mood. Okay. I'm so glad this goes on in your house too, because it does in mine.
00:07:33
Speaker
All the time. Charlotte, do you have a mom fail this week? Yeah. So with more my older kids, but now that it's summer, and they're out and about and doing things with friends, the need for money is different than it has been. And my oldest has an allowance because she's away from home at school, not that she does anything to earn it, but just you can't, it's just easier.
00:07:59
Speaker
And then the other guys, they usually save up money from their birthdays and then we have jobs that they can work on. So we don't just like hand over money, but there's been times like just the other day, we were at a store and we're at the beach now. And one of my kids wanted like a very specific article of clothing that you can only get at this beach town. And it was like 30 bucks.
00:08:21
Speaker
And they were like, Well, can I borrow it? You know, I'll mow the lawn next week. And like in theory that works, but I fear that there's been a lot of borrowing.
00:08:32
Speaker
There's been a lot of lending and borrowing and I can't keep track of any of it. I think they're okay at keeping track of it, but that's, I fear I've set a precedent that I'm going to lose out.
00:08:43
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. that sounds That sounds about right. I saw a really cool reel that had Popsicle sticks. I feel like both of you would like this for your house.
00:08:55
Speaker
And they all faced down, but on the down part, it was a chore. Folding laundry, dishwasher, mowing the lawn, and they were in a jar and And in order to have a popsicle stick given to you, if you complained or did something that you weren't supposed to this summer or whatever it the rules were in your house that you would implement to this game, you had to take a popsicle stick out and complete the chore. I thought that was kind of cool because I feel like there's a lot of complaining and whining going on in my house.
00:09:31
Speaker
I mean, for the summer in general, but. I feel like that would be like, okay, you want to complain about that? Here, pick out a chore. I don't know if it would, let'll stick right? I thought that was kind of cool. What do you think, Charlotte?
00:09:43
Speaker
I like it. i And I think I've seen the alternative where you have the chores, but then you also have to pay to use like Xbox or whatever. And thankfully, we don't... I have not lost the plot on
Screen Time and Sleep Schedules
00:09:58
Speaker
devices. I mean, I think they've learned how to like sneak stuff on their phone. We've talked about that in the past. But it's... I've been... i mean, it's I've had to fight with them. But just because we're on summer vacation, it doesn't mean the screen time rules have changed. So they're not watching TV and movies on weekdays just because it's summer.
00:10:15
Speaker
So I have been able to maintain a little bit of normalcy. And I'm trying to think of the IOUs. You know, they've been... it It hasn't been egregious and it's not for like a Starbucks. It is usually for like, I don't know.
00:10:30
Speaker
We're like, we were at this lacrosse tournament and Martha wanted like a lanyard or whatever. So. I think I'm so far in the green, but I just, it's like early, it's early July. we have a lot of summer. Yes.
00:10:43
Speaker
Yes. Well, it's, I feel like it's one of those things that if you don't have like a hard and fast, it's easy to, like you said, it becomes this like slippery slope. If you don't have like a very kind of black and especially with multiple kids, you know, like, yeah. Yeah.
00:10:57
Speaker
Yeah. And in the summertime too, we're struggling. I feel like with bedtime, not wanting to go to bed as early, which that's for me, I'm like, we're still getting up at the same time for camp.
00:11:09
Speaker
So everyone still needs their same amount of rest. It's, I know we're not going to school, but every night I'm like, it's bedtime. And, you know, I was checking last night to make sure the phones are turned off at a certain time with the parental controls. And I'm just like,
00:11:23
Speaker
Everyone still needs to go to bed at the same time if it's school because I – just for sanity purposes. I just need you to leave me alone. Yeah. Yes. yeah Especially me. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. What is your fail, Meg?
00:11:34
Speaker
Okay. So I just brought my oldest, Ava, to a ballet intensive camp and they send you a checklist of all the things that you need to buy. months ago, two months ago, you know, you go through it, you check the box, you think you have everything. And then the night before I was checking it one more time and I missed that she needed, now it's about, it's for ballet.
00:11:57
Speaker
I missed that she needed character shoes and a character skirt. And it was like 10 PM on Saturday night and we were leaving Sunday morning at she had to be there at one.
00:12:10
Speaker
So i was like, so we don't have, i went in a room, we don't have the character shoes and the skirt, do we? Like that was on me and I never ordered them. And she was like, no. I'm like, okay.
00:12:22
Speaker
So I emailed the person in charge of all like the parent questions and she was like, No, we don't have a store. Like if you want to get it sent by Amazon.
00:12:33
Speaker
And then it worked out that a store on the way to camp was open on Sunday. Thank goodness. So we stopped on the way. Oh. But I was still annoyed with myself that, you know, I should have been more organized and on top of it. So many things.
00:12:50
Speaker
I don't know. It's so many things.
Dealing with Picky Eaters: Challenges and Solutions
00:12:51
Speaker
Yeah. You know, and it's on me like when Charlotte was talking about Arthur with his football cleats, you know. It's in the back of your mind. You know you have to do it. I don't know why I didn't check it the week of.
00:13:03
Speaker
And, yeah, so that was Also, they're in camp for four days. Why do they need character shoes? Like, come on. I don't i know. Seems like lot. Yeah. They do a different type of dance in the afternoon, and I feel like character shoes – she goes again – she goes for two weeks, but – and I'm sure but woman in charge is probably like,
00:13:25
Speaker
but Like you've had the list for two months, but you know, or like, or she was responding to you and you're like the fifth person that had emailed her that day. They've been like, wait, I don't have character shoes. And she was like, Oh my God, these parents with the character shoes. Yeah, I know. And we probably could have bored them from a friend, but it was just too late at that point. So yeah.
00:13:44
Speaker
we And we went into the store and I was like, do you have this? Do you have that? Yep. And they're like, oh, you know, where are you going to dance? I'm like, we're on our way right now for dance summer camp. Nothing like waiting to last minute.
00:13:57
Speaker
Moving on from mom fails. Oh, she's got her papers. I'm ready. So this week's topic is feeding picky eater the do's and don'ts and causes and consequences in children.
00:14:14
Speaker
And I'm going to jump right into my personal experience with picky eaters. So picky eating is a common phase in childhood, which I have discovered from talking to other moms. Thank goodness, because it doesn't make me feel so bad inside.
00:14:33
Speaker
And I feel like out of my three, all have been picky eaters at a different time. the worst was my son. He is eight.
00:14:43
Speaker
He, when he turned about one and a half, we, uh, through, you know, having some tests done and therapy sessions, he had some sensory issues.
00:14:56
Speaker
They were pretty, pretty bad. And my girls, I didn't know anything about sensory because they never showed any signs of it. So his, when he turned about one and a half, we tried,
00:15:08
Speaker
You know, you try the baby food, I think it was like nine months, and then the small things that they could put in their mouth. And then all of a sudden, i out of nowhere, he just would not eat a lot of foods.
00:15:18
Speaker
And it was stressing me out. He didn't like the the smell, the texture, anything. So it was like, it just came out of nowhere. And I was very stressed because when your kid isn't eating, you think as a parent, it's something you're doing wrong.
00:15:36
Speaker
So ah we had a few different people come over the house and they had to work with him, like a birth to three type of program. Because then it' his speech, it was just one thing after the other. Once he turned um one, and it was like one and a half. It just all kind of sparked. And then the speech.
00:15:56
Speaker
And my girls, I feel like they were also picky eaters when they were younger. You know, just like the French fries, the pizza, the nuggets, and no fruits and vegetables.
00:16:07
Speaker
And that stressed me out too. I feel like always mom. I mean, my husband might cared, but it didn't really seem to bother him. Well, then did you feel that thing where it's like, i feel bad when I'm caving because I'm like, am I like, has the terrorist won?
00:16:23
Speaker
Yeah. So it's like this fine line between, i see that you're not eating this and I see that you need to eat. Like when, how much do I stick to my guns? I hate that feeling. Yeah. Yes. yeah Yeah. And it's so hard with eating because like, even as an adult, like i have foods I don't like, and I wouldn't want somebody to sit there and force me to eat something that I actually don't like. Yeah. So it is, it's such a tricky one because like, yeah, you don't want to even going back to what we were saying earlier, like you don't want it to be the slippery slope of like, give them us a cookie. Yeah.
00:16:52
Speaker
Yeah. really No, totally. And now they're older, they're teenagers And there over the past two, three years, I feel like their taste buds have changed completely.
00:17:03
Speaker
And I'm going to share some more research that I discovered on this topic, but I want to get Callie and Charlotte's opinion on all of this. But anyway, so I'm hoping that Nico will grow out of this phase as well, seeing that my girls' taste buds have changed now that they're older and they'll pretty much eat, you know, steak, sushi, clams,
00:17:25
Speaker
But another thing is when we're around other friends and their kids are all eating this sushi, clams, vegetables, fruit at age one and a half, three, four, five, and your kid's not doing it.
00:17:37
Speaker
As a mom, for me personally, it would stress me out that my kids weren't eating it. and I didn't know if I was doing something wrong. But anyway, so all three of mine have been picky eaters and we're working through it And Charlotte, have you had any picky eaters in your house? Do you presently have any picky eaters?
00:17:57
Speaker
Yeah, we definitely have. And my oldest had a little bit of that sensory thing. I remember giving like a frozen pizza and certain frozen pizzas would be spicier than the next.
00:18:09
Speaker
And it was, I think it was less about the taste and more about, i don't know, the consistency. So she was sort of tricky that way. But I also was not, like it was sort of a...
00:18:20
Speaker
I don't know if I said it before, like chicken and the egg. Like I had a bunch of small kids. I was definitely like not in a position to try anything cute with food. And so it was just bare minimum.
00:18:31
Speaker
And so I was sort of, they were saying jump and I was saying how high, just because it made everyone's life easier. i will say that even though the basic meal for us when my kids were little was like,
00:18:44
Speaker
chicken nuggets in the toaster oven and maybe some frozen peas that I would defrost and then maybe like some sweet potato fries or, you know, a pancake or a quesadilla. So it was, there was nothing fancy, but it also wasn't, I was good about, they always had a vegetable and they always had fruit for dessert. So it was not as interesting as they've grown into now, but it also wasn't like my husband's cousin would only eat white food.
00:19:16
Speaker
So white rice, white chicken, white pasta. I think that was maybe it exclusively. So in some regards, they were, know, and we had a rotation. So it would be pizza or chicken nuggets or fish fingers or whatever they're called or quesadillas.
00:19:32
Speaker
So there were five or six that they would all eat. And, you know, if I tried to introduce something new, It was a waste of my time. It was a waste of the food. And so it was like, you know what? I have 100 kids with the little old lady in the shoe.
00:19:45
Speaker
I'm not just making... I don't have this. As they've gotten older, i now have ah meal menu and I'm much more adventurous and they will <unk> eat it and then they'll say, that's not my favorite. And so collectively we have meals that we work through, which has been nice. And so I guess I should have and said this to start. They've all outgrown any pickiness. Like i do think some of it comes with maturity.
00:20:11
Speaker
And then the last thing I'll say, which is, I don't know, it's interesting. I do think that there is a stage for pickiness, but I also, like I remember seeing kids in like Japan or India and the food that they were eating had so much texture and spice and flavor.
00:20:28
Speaker
And so it's not like a kid thing. it definitely like There's plenty of kids that will eat exciting food. And when my youngest was little, our nanny was a much better, more interesting cook than I was.
00:20:41
Speaker
And so she would just make him things that I hadn't even thought to make like kale salad and stuff and to this day it's like his favorite food ever so i do think there's something to be said for like if you never introduce it they're never gonna learn what they like but all of my kids have learned to eat anything so for the first 10 years of their life they weren't having a lot of kale salads but they are now yeah What about you, Callie? Do you have any picky eaters in your house?
00:21:07
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, for sure. i feel like, yeah, they all go through phases. I mean, granted, my kids are still, you know, six, four, two. And, you know, so you don't even know exactly where everything's going. and My six-year-old is...
00:21:20
Speaker
um far more adventurous with eating. um he has grown out of some of his picky eating. He's still particular about things, but he will try anything once, which I always tell him is really great.
00:21:31
Speaker
Yeah. And I know the picky eating thing is it's hard because i think as parents, we all want our kids to eat healthy foods, right? Like we know it's important and they need the variety and, you know, we hear about it and then we get this immense guilt if they're not eating vegetables that like it's going to make their brain hurt and they're not going to grow properly, but you can't force kids.
00:21:52
Speaker
I mean, just cannot force kids to eat anything and trying to do that. It's just, I feel like there's no way that that's going to work out. So I've always kind of taken the approach of like,
00:22:02
Speaker
I can offer the food. Like I can't make the kids eat the food. i think the most important thing I can do is just continue. we we like you, Charlotte. I mean, with little kids, we for sure are rotating a lot of the staples, especially like at the easy meals, like lunch time. It's like, yeah, it's chicken nuggets. It's nachos. It's like peanut butter and jelly.
00:22:21
Speaker
And then we might have healthy sides. So we have the ones that we're rotating through. because I know I need to fill up my kids bellies and I know that they'll eat those foods. And then I just find other ways to make sure that we're introducing other kinds of foods.
00:22:33
Speaker
I never really expect that they're going to eat it, but it's there. So we do sit down to family dinner and I usually will not cater the dinner to my children. So they're at least experiencing like a different kind of food, but then I'm putting something out that I know they'll eat. So like whether there's rolls with the dinner and I know that at least they'll fill their belly up on bread or there's like almost all my kids will eat fruit luckily so like a big fruit salad or whatever but that's kind of the approach I've always taken is like I can't force the kids to eat it I don't have the bandwidth to be like doing these cutesy things with food or be trying crazy recipes all the time usually my general idea is like I'll try one thing like my apple pancakes like I'll try one thing a week you know what mean one new thing just to see if they like it and then if I can add it in and then another really interesting thing I learned is I don't know where I heard this from
00:23:23
Speaker
Somebody told me recently, and then I did the research to fact check it. A child is born with more taste buds than an adult has. So they like literally taste foods different than we do.
00:23:34
Speaker
And their taste bud cells as they are growing, like as they're growing through life, actually regenerate every one to two weeks. And they were like, if your child likes something one week and they don't like it a couple weeks later, it's because like they literally have new taste buds.
00:23:47
Speaker
And so it goes to show that one, you aren't crazy when you're like, what do you mean? You just loved this food last week. But also it goes to with that idea of like, just keep offering it because of food that they hated a few weeks ago, they might not hate anymore. And I'm really open about eating with my kids. Like we really like I tell them, I'm like, did you know that your taste buds are always changing?
00:24:06
Speaker
And so it kind of gets them as part of it. Like my son is into it now. He'll be like, oh, I didn't like this before, but maybe I'll like it. You know, and so that's why he was always good about trying stuff. But I feel like that's been a really helpful – I feel like knowledge for me as a mom is always helpful, like these little scientific bits to understand where my children are coming from. And I feel like that helps me as a parent and it helps me kind of understand why they're so freaking weird about food sometimes. Like you ate this for a year, like literally a year, and now you won't eat it. when you to – Sorry, Charlotte. When you go to like Costco, at does this happen in your house?
00:24:41
Speaker
And last week they liked, you know, the main drain small oranges. So you get them again the next week and then no one eats there and you throw them all out. Yeah, they're all moldy. What have been before were you going to say, Charlotte?
00:24:53
Speaker
I was going to say that a couple of things that I think we tried to implement to help us keep our sanity. And I don't know why it's an us. I made the food. Help me keep my sanity. Yes. Because I feel the same way was um I did not. I was never a diner. So the expectation was never that they were going to get separate meals.
00:25:12
Speaker
I was pretty good about making food. Now, granted, reheating like frozen vegetables is nothing fancy, but we weren't I feel like the stuff that they were getting was not like fast food. We didn't order a lot. It wasn't like Lunchables. So they're just eating like straight salt. Like for the most part, they were getting actual food. Like if I could make homemade chicken nuggets, I would do that instead. So nothing fancy, but I was like, at the very least, they're not just getting straight processed food. They are getting a little something that's been home cooked.
00:25:45
Speaker
And I also tried to right size it. So it was like, if you don't eat dinner, you're gonna eat breakfast and you're gonna eat. Like we didn't have kids that were not eating. And so for me, missing a meal was not even a little bit of big deal.
00:25:59
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, no, I remember a few times things I would make and Ava, I feel like she went through a phase and she wouldn't eat it. And then I'd be like, well, no snack then, you know? And then I probably finally gave in, I don't know, an hour later.
00:26:15
Speaker
And then she would eat like goldfish for dinner and be happy as a clam, you know? And I'm like, yeah, it's just, ah it's the struggle of us sometimes. And then I wanted to share some research.
00:26:26
Speaker
Studies show children across the globe go through a picky eating phase from about age two to about age four. We think it starts partly as built-in protective impulse in a child.
00:26:43
Speaker
Don't blame yourself. Most picky eating cannot be explained by poor parenting. The proof is that many picky eaters you know right many picky eaters have siblings who eat just fine.
00:26:59
Speaker
And then I also thought this was really interesting. Prior to age 15, children aren't often motivated to change their eating habits. I thought that was really, really interesting. And then i know we already discussed some tips, but I thought that would be fun to go around and in doing.
00:27:21
Speaker
don't know. You know, they say to go on, not to go on Google as a parent, but I had the time to, and I'm kind of annoyed with myself that I didn't do it prior to, because I really got some helpful tips that I wish I implemented in the past years, but here we are. It is what it is now. Um,
00:27:41
Speaker
Don't give up on new food. Try over and over again. and research says it takes up to 8 15 times to introduce a new food before your child actually accepts and eat it. And I feel like I- That made me bonkers.
00:27:58
Speaker
Like, I get it. And yes, whatever, if it's because their taste buds are regenerating. Like, I totally get it. But it's like, why should me, this haggard, tired mom, you know, that's probably like dripping breast milk with some kid hanging off. Like, why would I make the like meatball? Agreed.
00:28:15
Speaker
that they've already thrown at me and be like, it's only the fifth time kids. Like it just, there was not an incentive for me to try again. I agree, Charlotte. And that's why I said like, same thing when I was in the hustle and bustle of when my kids were younger, i just, it was, it's survival mode, you know, it's like, as long as they're happy and healthy, I think.
00:28:38
Speaker
And, you know, and another thing too, is like, you know, when they are hungry, they will eat. So, you know, trying to skip that maybe late afternoon snack. So then they come to the dinner table actually hungry. So maybe even if they don't like what you put out because they're so hungry, they'll eat it. And I feel like I probably was like, here, just take the snack. You know, I just gave in at that point because you're in a different period of motherhood. But do you have any tips, Charlotte, with picky eaters that have worked in your house or anything else you would want to share?
00:29:14
Speaker
I don't know. I mean, i guess my tip is to involve them whenever possible. You know, I think when my kids were little, they had to bring a lunch to preschool even. And I set up our kitchen so that they could pack their own lunches.
00:29:29
Speaker
And I would make the sandwich or whatever. But even that, if we had time, I would let them go and smack around whatever was going on the bread. And I think having a little ownership for it, whether it was, what do you guys want for food next week? Or what do you like? Or do you want to help me make the eggs? Or, you know, there were certain, like my kids have been making scrambled eggs for years because for me, that was, there was no...
00:29:51
Speaker
risk to that. They waste a couple of eggs. They cut a couple of shells. and There was no downside. And so I think the interest in preparing food and just sort of having a little more awareness of it, I mean, it's not going to change their taste buds per se, but now they all have an interest. And if I ask them what meals we want for the week,
00:30:12
Speaker
they pipe in. And I think they're a little more adventurous, which makes me a little more adventurous. But I was laughing as you were talking. like I remember my kids when they were little, you'd give them like meatballs that I would make in a muffin tin or like little mini meatloaf that I'd make in a muffin tin. And it's what, ground beef, a couple of eggs. and ah And then I'd make meatballs and they'd be like, no, I'm not eating it. And it was like, this is literally the same yeah ingredient.
00:30:37
Speaker
So I don't know what explains that. yeah But- It's bringing me back. boy those were frustrating times. yeah ah Before I go to Callie's tip, I have one child that will eat pizza but won't eat tomato sauce and pasta.
00:30:51
Speaker
Same, exactly. yeah Or she'll eat pizza but she doesn't like melted cheese. And I'm like, I got bad news for you, boo-boo. like I got to tell you something. Yeah. I hope you're sitting down. Yes, yes. I know.
00:31:06
Speaker
I just can't figure it out. Just madness. Callie, do you have any tips that have worked in your house? Okay. So going off of the continuing to offer, am I going to make apple pancakes anytime soon? No, because why would I waste my time to make something that my kids just need I know. You're not going to make it 15 more times, Callie, like Google says. I know.
00:31:28
Speaker
But what I do do is I continue to put stuff on their plate. So like I said, for us, dinner tends to be the one. so like my four year old has refused vegetables. Like if they're solo, like a solo roasted carrot or or cucumbers and ranch, just like solo vegetables for like two years. I don't think that she's just like eating them unless they're like cooked some way into something.
00:31:51
Speaker
I still put it on our plate every time it goes on our plate. And like eventually, and same with my two-year-old, he's sort of funny about a lot stuff. But like the other day we're having soup and like there's my two-year-old just like eating the corn and the carrots that like he probably hasn't touched in like six months or whatever.
00:32:05
Speaker
So like I keep, I continue to offer the food in a way that's not like making me insane. I'm not going to like remake some food that everyone hated just so they can all complain to me about it. But I will still put it on the plate.
00:32:17
Speaker
And I like, I'm careful not to be like, oh no, she doesn't eat vegetables like in front of the child. Right. Like I'm always just like, Hey, Miles is having cucumbers. Do you want cucumbers on your plate? Or like, I try to keep it kind of chill like that.
00:32:30
Speaker
I think the biggest one for me though, that has helped the most and it, bengen to your point is probably one of the hardest ones to stick to is reigning in the snacking because if they come to the table hungry they're just so much more likely to eat to eat a lot of it to actually try it so that's been a big one this summer
Expert Advice from Adriana Libertor
00:32:47
Speaker
i've like really kind of been like iron mom on the snacking route because i just i can't have you coming to dinner and not eating the dinner because you're not eating the lunch because you had snacked all morning.
00:32:59
Speaker
yeah so I've been really strict about that. And I find it helps the most, at least not maybe even with the picky eating, but at least like they eat the food that's in front of them and like getting food in their belly. When my kids were little and they should still be doing this, but they just, they were getting a cup of milk with meals just as their calcium.
00:33:15
Speaker
That was something else that we would hold off on if there were certain kids that were being hesitant to eat is like, instead of letting them swig their milk first thing, it was yes like, we'll hold off on that. I also think like, have you all found that just presentation can make a huge difference? Like I remember my parents making our sandwiches into a house and it was literally just cutting the corners in a certain way. Or,
00:33:38
Speaker
Have you ever done the thing where you put a little bit of food in the muffin tins and it's just sort of like they can pick? So sometimes that can be, like my sister would always have a little,
00:33:49
Speaker
ramekin to dip, whether it was honey mustard or ranch. And something about that was so exciting for my kids because it never occurred to me like they would just be squirting it on their plate. So that was something else that if I was really annoyed and I knew that I was presenting something that wasn't a crowd pleaser, I would sometimes try to think of a cute way to whether it was the name or just the way yeah cut it and presented it. I don't know. That helped.
00:34:13
Speaker
I think sometimes it can. And I've even heard some people and I think just switching it up. I mean, like I've tried different things and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. So like I again, it's another one where it's like I don't spend a ton of time on it, but if it's an easy win, like to offer it a different way, the peer pressure of everyone sharing.
00:34:29
Speaker
I've heard some people say doing more family style meals. So putting, instead of making their plate for them, like putting it, try putting it on the table and letting people serve themselves. So I try to switch it up like besides between making their plates and sometimes putting it all out and sometimes letting them come up and pick their own things and like pick a different utensil.
00:34:47
Speaker
It's not like, I feel like I've heard some people talk about it. Like it's this golden ticket. I think it's, it's worth mixing in for sure because it can, it it totally just, yeah, being a different way. Sometimes kids are like, Oh, it's a chicken.
00:34:59
Speaker
finger and not a chicken tender. Well, then I want it. Yes. I saw this woman who was making dinner for her kids and they were younger and she just dumped the pot of spaghetti into the middle of the table. Then she dumped the spaghetti sauce on top of it. She gave them all a fork and the kids were looking with horror. Like, I'm not sure that's a meal I would serve on the table, but I think it was maybe a satirical account, but yeah talk about fun, right? If you're outside, I guess why not?
00:35:25
Speaker
Oh yeah. And they were just all dug in or they all ate out of the same big pot. Pile on the table. They all just dug in. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I feel like I've tried to make it fun, like we're the cookie cutter that you can do with the sandwiches.
00:35:41
Speaker
And I have them here. I've tried them. And then, yeah. Or the, um do you use like the bento boxes for camp and stuff? And it's some weeks I'm in the mood to do the fruits, the veggies, the pretzels, and make it all. And then other weeks I'm just like, here's some popcorn the back.
00:36:00
Speaker
don't know. Right. I know. And it's I don't know. I feel like in the summer, I'm not as I feel like doing the bento boxes and sending my kids to school. like I don't know, like sets the precedence for me because I have like the five little compartments and I'm like, OK, a vegetable, a fruit, fiber, protein. Like it's just easier in my mind.
00:36:17
Speaker
And my kids are not in camp. I mean, son is in a couple of camps. It's just so much easier to let it slip when I feel like I don't have that. like forcing me I'm like just here's your plate and I'm like I guess let's go get some carrots I don't know that's true but you know what really annoys me is those people that do the little bento boxes like on Instagram and they make them all cute like is your child not taking their lunchbox to school like this like my child I'm like it's not gonna look like that when they open it up what are these people doing or the or the tackle boxes that you get at like Walmart and they take it to like the playground and the picnic
00:36:49
Speaker
you know, to have a picnic. Who's eating that many snacks? It's like 50 compartments. Oh my God, those make me so mad. I was, when I was a teacher, one of the schools where I worked, the kids, with there was no cafeteria. The kids would just bring their lunch.
00:37:02
Speaker
And I remember looking over at one of my first graders and just with the joy that only ah child could have, she had, you know, those like Go-Gurt tubes.
00:37:14
Speaker
She had what I thought was a Go-Gurt. And I looked a little carefully, Just ranch dressing. Oh, wow. Just, and I think maybe she had a salad and so this went with it, but she was like, no,
00:37:27
Speaker
Just eating it? Just slurping it down. So delighted. Yeah. Yeah. On that note, ah I mean, the things these kids eat is just, even mine, I'm just like, oh, you know? Yeah.
00:37:44
Speaker
Every once in a while, though, I remember like I don't think I was a picky eater, but like I I for sure went through a phase where like I ate only Eggo waffles, I think, and like gum, you know? Yeah. And now I'm not a fairly adventurous eater. Like I'll eat a lot of. So sometimes I'm like, it's not that like if your child's got a picky phase, like i don't think this means I'm going to eat that person's going to Eggos. So sometimes I'm just like maybe I just can tone it down a little.
00:38:09
Speaker
What are foods that – I have two foods that to this day I still won't eat. I won't eat beets. I've even tried them as a grown-up to see if my taste buds have changed. I will not eat them. I know that's a love or hate. And then my mother used to make corned beef hash, which doesn't come up. Like it's a very easy thing to avoid, but there's nothing about that that has my heart right now.
00:38:28
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like for me it was – which I feel like I'll eat anything just because – the way I feel like it was the way I was brought up to like we really weren't allowed to leave the table it was like a hard stern you know clean plate club yeah I mean and I didn't clean it I definitely had to wait a bunch of times and then I was like but uh turnips my in-laws do that at Thanksgiving no while I like turnips do you yeah see I know
00:39:00
Speaker
Uh, another funny thing to me is, uh, you know, now that my teenagers eat like what we, you know, when you go out to dinner and I think we talked about this before and one orders like the salmon special and the other one's getting the filet mignon and I'm like, they come to me and I'm like, thinking about how much that bill's going to be. So i'm like, I'll just have the pasta, you know, the mignon with tomato sauce. Yeah, I know.
00:39:26
Speaker
Yeah. But anyways, um, One thing that did stress me out, and then we'll move on. A bunch of people, and I'm not going to, some family members too, with Nico's eating habits would be like, I think you should get like hire a food coach or have a doctor, you know what I mean?
00:39:45
Speaker
And it's like. Everyone has an opinion because it was pretty bad at one point. He is kind of, he's getting, getting better. But as a mom, that did stress me out. But I feel like if you are at a point where it's that bad, don't be afraid to ask for help. Maybe you're pediatrician, but there are food coaches out there. I've had friends that have used them and some say it's good.
00:40:08
Speaker
Some say it's bad. It's a waste of time and money. So I feel like it just depends on, you know, what works in your house best, but we never hired a food coach. What's your thoughts on a food coach, Charlotte?
00:40:21
Speaker
No, right? I mean, don't know that I would, but I mean, I'm happy to know they exist. yeah I feel like this is something that would probably, if the kid wasn't underweight, I think I would just let it run.
Creating Positive Food Experiences
00:40:31
Speaker
point.
00:40:31
Speaker
Yep. What about you, Callie? Yeah. I mean, I feel like to me, that's one, like if it gives the parents peace of mind, like it could be helpful. Like if it's something that's totally stressing you out, having a professional to just sort of hold your hand and be like, this is fine. I mean, that might just be what you need, but I also feel like it's one of those things that if it's like, if it's what you feel is right, like you think you need it and you think your child needs it, that's fine. But if you're doing it because of a pressure, like because of other parents or or in-laws or you know if other family members or whatever or sort of making this comment and then you're doing it because you think that other people think that your child you know i'm yeah i'm ah i'm one of those yeah like between you know i i have a supportive relationship with my husband and we can talk about the things with my children our children together but like i feel like
00:41:21
Speaker
we are the ones who can make those decisions. And so I try to be really careful to not let people's little side comments about what they think about my child. You know, I'm the one who knows them best. And so. Well, and I also wonder, I think you had a sleep coach, right, Callie?
00:41:36
Speaker
I've used sleep coaches. I've also used a potty training consultant. Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of times, and we never did, but I i also think, like, they're not, it's not rocket science. A lot of times it's just like, these are the limits and the boundaries that you as a parent, either aren't able to put in place because it's your kid and you're too close to it or you're too close to it and you don't see that you're easing off the gas in certain ways. like I sometimes feel like these coaches, they're not doing anything radical other than pointing out where you are just not towing the line.
00:42:11
Speaker
yeah And so with the with a food coach, I wonder if there would be a little bit of that, which is like, Did you notice that you just snuck in like a food that Johnny wanted? And I don't know.
00:42:22
Speaker
Yes. Well, and I feel like for me, like especially with the sleep coach, like I was very aware when I used it Like I knew how I knew what I was doing. Like I knew everything that there was to, like I said, I'm a knowledge person. Like I knew everything there was to know about like baby sleeping and like what I was supposed to do. It's like, I just needed somebody to kind of hold my hand and be like, that, that went great. Like this, you know, like I knew that I needed that. And so like, to me, that's what I think a lot of the coaches, they obviously are very knowledgeable and they might be able to give you little tidbits. Like,
00:42:50
Speaker
oh, this little like fact that maybe you didn't know or this little tip to try. the timing of when to shush and when to. Yes, we used a potty training consultant for one of my children because we were having issues potty training.
00:43:01
Speaker
And it like, it probably would been fine. Like if I just ridden it out for a few weeks, like it would have been, but I just kind of needed the reassurance of somebody being like, I work with people who po who are potty training their children all of the time. I've seen literally every scenario.
00:43:14
Speaker
It's like, I knew that I just needed that. So that's why I kind of framed it the way I did, because I'm like, if you're the kind of person that needs that, like, I think it can be hugely beneficial. And did you think the potty training coach was worth it, Callie?
00:43:27
Speaker
Oh, she was the best. love her. that's That's great. Yeah. No, there's a coach for everything. It's nothing that I wouldn't have figured out myself, but it was like when you're going through that and you are, come you know, I didn't have like people I felt like I could sort of ask or that were having a similar. ah So why not just go to a professional that can offer some yeah advice and be like, that's normal. Try this.
00:43:46
Speaker
And you can be like, okay, you know, it's cool. I'm doing it right. You know. for first time mom kind of deal. It's swaddling your baby. I've had five children. I have swaddled those children a gajillion times.
00:43:58
Speaker
But when I was in the hospital with my friend's little newborn, those nurses, they can they swaddle on a different level. And so just because you know how to do it, it doesn't mean that you can do it. And so I think that's where these coaches can be really, really. Yeah, Yeah.
00:44:13
Speaker
Yeah. And we're, we're emotionally invested in our own children. Like no matter how chill we try to be, like we're always going to be a little more emotional about their eating than anybody else is going to be. So yeah. Sometimes just having somebody be like, you know, whatever.
00:44:28
Speaker
Yeah. No, you're right. reason Yeah. We did the sleep coach and same thing. I just feel like I needed that confidence and that reassurance from someone else. And literally the tips they gave me worked in the first night and she was like,
00:44:41
Speaker
came another time. She's like, you know, I really don't need to come anymore. You got it. And I was like, kind of like, I knew all the things she told me. Same thing. Yeah. They were probably tips you already knew, yeah but it was, yeah. just having the.
00:44:52
Speaker
Yeah. So if any of our our listeners are struggling with picky eaters, and I agree with Charlotte, the health aspect, if it's a weight thing, don't be afraid to reach, reach out to I guess, do you call it like an an eating coach or a nutritionist? I mean, I think that's that's not what any of us, we had friends whose kid really was underweight and it was really stressful. I mean, I think they were getting into like protein shakes. I mean, they had really a mandate from their pediatrician because it was in that early years when your brain is developing and you really do have to have calories.
00:45:25
Speaker
That was not, I don't think that's what any of us are describing. no If you're in that category, then you can skip ahead and don't listen to this podcast. no Yeah. Go to your doctor, your pediatrician, not don't listen to us. Yes. Agree. yeah yeah a bento box is not solving the problem. No, no.
00:45:44
Speaker
Okay.
Health and Family Dynamics
00:45:45
Speaker
Before we jump into pits and peaks, I'm going to share a chat I had with a nutritionist. So let's jump into that discussion with her now.
00:45:59
Speaker
Today's guest is Adriana Libertor. Thank you. Hi. How are you? Thank you for being our guest. great. How are you? Thanks for having me on. Here on Just for Moms podcast. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
00:46:11
Speaker
Sure. I am a registered dietitian. I am a mom of two young boys. I live in Westport, Connecticut, and I also run a ah dietetic practice there where I work with adolescents and adults.
00:46:25
Speaker
I ah specialize in adolescence and also gut health, weight loss, and hormone health. Amazing. And this week's topic is feeding picky eaters, our children, the do's and don'ts, the causes and consequences.
00:46:44
Speaker
And I wanted to get your tips for picky eaters because I have three in my house, my three kids. Do you have any basic tips you could share for parents out there, grandparents, everyone to just help us with these picky eaters? Sure. That's, that's always a tough one. So I'm happy to, to share my, my wisdom and perspective.
00:47:06
Speaker
Yes. And what are your tips? Would you say? Yeah. So I, uh, so number one, yeah i think that It is very important off the bat. So typically we'll see picky eater behavior, um which by the way, is completely developmentally normal from about the time they start eating solids um to about age four or five. So that is completely normal.
00:47:32
Speaker
I think first and foremost, we should cover the fact that you shouldn't be labeling your child as picky eater because what happens is it's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Then they go through life saying, oh, I'm a picky eater. So I don't eat those things.
00:47:47
Speaker
So number one, I would say lay off the labels, just know that it is developmentally completely aligned with their age group. And then the other thing is i would say don't first, I'm going to kind of give you like the do's and like the don'ts. And then i'll I'll kind of give you this is just from my experience.
00:48:05
Speaker
So secondly would be not to intervene. So if your kids are, at you know, you're out to eat or even at home or at a friend's house or at a party, just kind of, again, stay away from labels and say, oh, my kid doesn't eat that.
00:48:22
Speaker
Or, oh, you tried that once and you didn't like it. Right. So I would give them a little bit more leeway because you really never know um when your child might be in in the mood, right? these These kids are super moody, right? The kind of younger personalities are pretty mercurial. So I would say, like, give them leeway.
00:48:44
Speaker
don't Don't intervene because it might surprise you that they would be up for trying something new. They do say it takes 15, like up to 15 to 25 exposures of one single food throughout their adolescence for them to be comfortable enough and receptive to the idea of trying a new food.
00:49:05
Speaker
So I would say don't give up, yeah don't label and don't intervene. Great, great. um So that would be the don't. ah And then i come from an Italian background. i know you do too, Megan. and And it, you know, food is is life and it's very centric to our family life and As you know, everyone always hangs out in the kitchen.
00:49:28
Speaker
So I would definitely make it a point to model the behavior that you want your kids to adopt, right? Just like as a general rule of thumb, but especially with healthy eating.
00:49:40
Speaker
So if they see that mom is, you know, opening bags of chips and, you know, eating them as a snack versus a mom who is in the kitchen prepping, it doesn't need to be like an elaborate meal, but like even a simple salad day after day, that exposure of, of healthy eating is, is really going to rub off on them. And it might not be immediate, but it's something that they have in their back of their brain.
00:50:02
Speaker
Kids notice, as, you as you know, you're a mom of three, you know, they notice everything. Yes. Don't, don't put it past them. Yes. Um, So, you know, they're more likely, the point of that is that the they're more likely to enjoy foods later on that they saw their parents eating.
00:50:17
Speaker
And also get them involved. I'm a big proponent. So one of my kids actually loves to do the cooking part and the other one couldn't care less about it. He just really likes like, you know, chopping and obviously under supervision, but kind of like sous chefing.
00:50:33
Speaker
At that age, two to four, obviously they're too young. So you would involve them in like the mixing or just easier tasks like pouring and mixing. So definitely include them in the cooking, include them in the grocery shopping.
00:50:48
Speaker
That's a huge one. So the studies have shown that if you, even if you have like a little herb garden, it doesn't need to be a crazy you know vegetable garden, just like going and having them pick the herbs or,
00:51:02
Speaker
um letting them smell the peaches at the grocery store and like picking out their favorites, just getting them involved in that process already is creating the foundation for them to try them later on. So they're going to be more inclined to try those foods.
00:51:17
Speaker
And I would say the the exposure, i would say also a neat trick is if you have a ah plate of food, And you want them to try something new. It's it's not deception, but it's actually, again, exposure.
00:51:33
Speaker
But you basically pair it with a familiar food. So if they're on like a chicken nugget kick, okay, we'll put like two slices of cucumber. It's not overwhelming. It doesn't, it's less likely to look icky to them or unfamiliar.
00:51:47
Speaker
So you just put like one or two and you just keep doing that. And you'll be surprised that they will eventually try it. um And then it won't be like a scary food for them. yeah Or funny enough, it'll manifest in a different way. Again, kids take note of everything you do. So I remember This was like my Nico. I know you have a Nico.
00:52:12
Speaker
He was, i don't know, like six years old and chickpeas are ah kind of a strange food to for kids to try. I mean, I know hummus is good, but the actual chickpea. And I had put some on his plate repeatedly, didn't touch it.
00:52:27
Speaker
I was like, oh gosh, okay, this is going really well. Dietician, I'm like the shoemaker, right? Like even in my own house, I can't have a work. Well, Little did I know, he was taking note, I had a salad and he, this was like, I think we were away, we were in Maine or something and there were chickpeas on the salad. He's like, mom, I want to try that.
00:52:48
Speaker
Took the chickpea and ate it and was like, that's not bad. I'm like, well, guess what? That's the main ingredient in the hummus you've been like having your, you know, veggie sticks in. He's like, oh, and he tried it. And so it can manifest in very odd and different ways that you wouldn't expect.
00:53:05
Speaker
So that's, ah that's such a great story. I love that. Yeah. And I know for me personally, i feel like, and you tell me, cause you're the expert on this.
00:53:18
Speaker
um I have three picky eaters and I never asked for help. Should I, if, if, if there's a parent struggling with a picky eater, should they reach out to someone like you? Like, what do you recommend if kids are just not eating what you're putting out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Like, I know you said, keep introducing 15 times and, but should we reach out to a professional or just keep trying at it at home?
00:53:45
Speaker
I think that's ah that's an excellent question. And that that, you know, every parent wants to to to make sure they're giving their their kid the best um leg up in life. And it it really does start with nutrition. So number one, i would say, obviously, you have routine checkups at that age at the pediatrician.
00:54:02
Speaker
So number one is checking for nutrient deficiencies. That is, that is instrumental in their development physically and cognitively.
00:54:12
Speaker
So you want to make sure they're getting that. So like the big ones obviously would be like the iron, right? That's a huge one. ah And then the macronutrients, so protein, fat, fiber, you know, all of that. So, but number one would be checking for and vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Right.
00:54:31
Speaker
And then you would go from there. Basically, you're screening for any nutrient gaps. So um that's when if there is one, you absolutely have should go on, you know, a malty or a fiber supplement, but consult with a dietician. So the pediatrician should probably as a dietician, I get doctor referrals. Yes.
00:54:51
Speaker
um And so that's that's who the pediatrician should refer you to. So um yeah, i would I would absolutely. But but you know if there's if there's bigger issues, so if there's like, I work with you know sensory issues or color or things like that, typically we'll bring in a therapist.
00:55:11
Speaker
So it'll be like an interdisciplinary team and we work in tandem to just kind of, you know again, exposure, but get over the fears, work through it. And get these kids to eat.
00:55:23
Speaker
and get these kids to eat and develop a healthy way yeah that can sustain their energy so they can be kids. yes It's interesting you said the sensory because my son, Nico, he had, he turned one and all of a sudden he had eating sensory issues with texture, smelling it. Even still today, he'll take bagels and smell them.
00:55:44
Speaker
So we had to go through the whole process with the pediatrician. And then there was a therapist that came to the house. He's slowly getting better, but it's just, you know, and this is something else I wanted to touch upon.
00:55:56
Speaker
I blamed myself that he was having these problems. Like I'm like, what did I do wrong? What did I forget to do? He is my third, but I'm like, I i look at myself and Did I not try hard enough? Like my girls were fine, but then Nico, and I didn't even know what sensory issues was with eating, you know, until we went to the doctor and he was evaluated. And then they're like, oh, you should work with this therapist through birth to three.
00:56:22
Speaker
So do you have any advice for parents that are struggling with their kids to eat? Like, should we not, should we blame ourselves or what do you think about that? Yeah, it's it's it's an excellent question. It's so easy to blame ourselves. No, I mean, ah just know it's not your fault.
00:56:39
Speaker
Again, it is developmentally normal to have these um these kind of interactions with food, right? Whether you're smelling or you're fearing or whatever it is, and it's not your fault. yeah So as a parent, we want protect ah protect our kids, make them feel safe.
00:56:58
Speaker
and And that goes ah along with making them feel safe around the dinner table. So the when i when i first opened the podcast saying, you know, don't label your children, that so self-fulfilling prophecy can translate to the dinner table. So The dinner table could be a space where they it's like a a source of stress for them.
00:57:18
Speaker
And so as a parent, yes, it's quick to blame yourself, but the best thing you could do is know it's not your fault and just do the things that help them, which is don't create a kind of a stressful environment around the food um and around the table, right? So because when a kid is stressed, they're actually less likely to digest properly, um to try new things, right?
00:57:43
Speaker
um and have And have their guard down. So as a parent, the only thing you can do truly, truly from my experience, is number one, make sure there's no nutrient deficiencies.
00:57:54
Speaker
Number two, create a food positive environment. And if you do that, uh, then, then the pressure should, should be off from you truly yeah and leave it to the hands of a professional. And what I mean by, by food positive, um, relationship is, which by the way, they will carry with them throughout their entire life. yes Like the, this is laying the foundation, like an adult, I have 40 year olds who are, you know, still battling some of these things. yeah It's true because they, they lived in this environment that was stressful for them.
00:58:27
Speaker
um And so very like low pressure type of food positive environment is something that you should foster. And that just means, again, no labeling, no intervening, making them feel um confident to try new foods and just pressure off. yeah Because, you know, when if you pressure kids, like put your shoes on, it just like makes it work. Yes, for sure. It's kind of the same thing.
00:58:52
Speaker
And then my last question is, do you have any general health advice for children? Just in general, anything that you want to touch upon? Yeah, I think touching on what we just said, you know, you want to build these like healthy habits that they can take with them into adulthood.
00:59:09
Speaker
um and just And just making food a joyful part of life. It is one of ah one of life's greatest pleasures. So keep keep food, ah that relationship joyful, not a source of stress.
00:59:24
Speaker
I would say always prioritize protein, right? Fiber in this country, we eat way too many carbohydrates, which as you know, turns to sugar um and and doesn't serve ah kids developmentally. I mean, yes, our brain runs on glucose, you need carbs, but I,
00:59:42
Speaker
It's very important to teach them from a young age to prioritize protein and fiber. um Eating, you know, make it a game, make it playful, eat eat a whole, we say like eat the rainbow. yes Yes. Not the Skittles, like, ah you know, a tagline, but it's true. Like just eat a variety. Variety is the spice of life. It is the key to health and gut health.
01:00:05
Speaker
Make it fun. like, you know, colorful plates, let them pick out colorful veggies. And because we do have a carbohydrate problem in this country where we, we over eat carbohydrates movement. Yes.
01:00:18
Speaker
Movement can never steer you wrong. And in fact, the research is so strong that schools have now adopted very different movement times throughout the break, throughout the day. So like,
01:00:29
Speaker
you know, after lunch, before lunch, movement breaks. um It gets the brain going. it It gets you to be hungry. This is also the problem when they get to the dinner table, they're less inclined to choose to to eat the foods you put out because they're not hungry because they were snacking an hour later. I mean, my boys do it I've had to like make a no snack rule before but before dinner. If they're hungry, they will eat. Yes. yeah So it's just limiting those, limiting the snacks, more protein, more fiber.
01:00:58
Speaker
and eating the rainbow and just make food joyful, um make it a part of you know preparing all together in the kitchen, things like that. I know it's not always realistic on on busy school nights with all the activities, but it's okay. Like even one or two nights out of the week on the weekend, yeah like make it a family affair. yeah Yeah, no, I need to do that. Thank you. that That's a great way to finish actually. So thank you for being our guest and all your tips and helpful advice.
01:01:26
Speaker
Yes, my pleasure. And I hope you all have a ah safe and healthy summer. Thank you. Bye for now. And we're back. Pits and peaks this week.
01:01:38
Speaker
Callie, do you have a pit or a peak to share? ah do. So we had my... daughter, my nine month old had what we believed was hand, foot, mouth. Okay. So the fourth child, you know, I think I know i see the dots it's on her mouth. Okay. It's on her hands. She didn't have a fever. It's I'm like, we don't need to go to the doctor for them to be like, wait it out. It's hand, foot, mouth.
01:01:59
Speaker
Then after like a week, it wasn't really going away. And then it started to get worse. And then she stopped sleeping and everyone was losing her mind. And so we finally went to the doctor and it's, um I always say it wrong. Kek Saki or however you say it. No, Empatigo. Oh, okay.
01:02:16
Speaker
And I felt vindicated that when I went, she was like, if you had brought her in last week, I would have told you it was hand, foot, mouth too. So I felt good. But now I just feel like now I'm starting, like I thought it was hand, foot, mouth and we were just writing it out. And now I have this whole new thing.
01:02:30
Speaker
So anyways, hopefully she sleeps tonight because we are on the struggle bus over here right now. A lot of caffeine. we agree that hand, foot, mouth is like the worst? We can do better. i hate the name of that.
01:02:41
Speaker
Yeah. Oh. Well, what's the – there's some – like they the names, I don't know. And I'm like, who's naming these? Some of them sound made up. Like it doesn't even sound like a real disease. But yeah. It is. Yeah. Okay.
01:02:52
Speaker
Well, I hope she feels better. Yeah. What would you name it, Charlotte? Like bumps on the face. I don't know. I don't know. ah not my But better.
01:03:03
Speaker
yeah Something but better. Well, it just sounds so severe. And it's just like a thing that all kids get. Like, yeah i don't know, like pink eye has a level of like, oh, yeah. Oh, a pink eye. Yeah, that's true.
01:03:15
Speaker
and Yeah. What about you, Charlotte? do you have a pit or a peak this week? I mean, my peak, I think you can tell from my background, I'm not at home. Martha had a lacrosse tournament in Pennsylvania, and we were planning to come to meet my sister's family at the beach in New Jersey on for like the 4th of July.
01:03:37
Speaker
Everyone else is coming together. A couple of people are coming tonight, but mostly Wednesday. And so rather than fight traffic to get all the way home and then fight traffic to come all the way down, we just came straight to the beach and Arthur tagged along. So I've had two of my kiddos, just the three of us.
01:03:54
Speaker
but mean, we were together all weekend, but then we've been at the beach. since Sunday night, just hanging out. They're probably getting a little too much screen time, but it's fun. I think I said it on my Instagram stories. Shuffling the dynamics of these kids is really fun. So a couple weeks ago i had my oldest and then my youngest daughter and then Martha and Arthur. So it's just fun to have different pairs and watch how they interact. And, you know, they're old enough that it's kind of a break. Like I'm reading books and stuff. Oh, that's nice.
01:04:24
Speaker
yeah Yeah. It's really nice. Good. And then when do you guys go back? We will fight traffic on Sunday. We usually – turnover traffic is usually pretty bad on Saturday, and so we'll linger. But with the long holiday weekend, I'm sure Sunday will be a nightmare.
01:04:39
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. So I have a peak. I know I already talked about Ava with camp, but – with me forgetting the character shoes. But I'm really proud of her because she's going to a ballet intensive, and she doesn't know anyone.
01:04:55
Speaker
And none of her friends went and she doesn't know anyone there. And she was adamant that she wanted to try out for the school back in January, February. And I was like, okay, if you want to. And me personally, I did not like summer camp as a kid. I never had any interest in it. So this is her third summer going. And the past two summers, she had friends from her dance studio that went with her. And this summer, she didn't have anyone. And I was like are you sure you want to go? And she's like, yeah, no, I want to go, mom. I'll make new friends. And I was like, okay.
01:05:24
Speaker
So I dropped her off and she likes her roommate. She's making new friends. She was like, it's, she's having like a really great time and she loves it. And I'm proud of her because I don't know if I, I couldn't have done that as a child. I feel like I always needed a friend or a cousin and she's not really calling me back either. Like I'll call her and she'll just text me. I'm out with my friends. I'm like, okay, just wanted
Conclusion and Farewell
01:05:48
Speaker
to make sure. Do you need anything?
01:05:50
Speaker
You know? and And then I called her again last night, like three hours after Just, I'm like, are you, everything? She's like, mom, again, I'm busy. I'm like, okay, sorry. So. That's so cute. Yeah. It is.
01:06:02
Speaker
Anyway, so thanks for listening here on Just For Moms. Megan, Callie, and Charlotte. And Caitlin will be back our next episode. She wasn't feeling well, so.
01:06:13
Speaker
But leave us a five-star review. That would be wonderful. And stay tuned for our next episode. Bye for now. Wait, what is that? i don't feel like that I feel like that's the pageant or the pageant wave that they teach you. It's what is it? Wrist. It's elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist. I'm just saying Callie's got it down. Not me.
01:06:36
Speaker
Elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, blow a kiss. Oh, oh, I saw that on a movie somewhere. how i've tried written down the words to say it is time i've been waiting five days to explain how you make me feel inside baby