Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Self-Care and Well-Being
535 Plays2 days ago
This week, the Just 4 Moms crew dives into a real and relatable conversation about self-care for moms. Host Megan Schinella leads the chat as the moms swap stories about the struggles—and successes—of making time for themselves. From Caitlin’s backyard possum problem to Kallie’s stroller mishap and Charlotte’s quest for balance, this episode blends humor with heartfelt advice.
Special guest Dr. Katie Takayasu, integrative medicine doctor, shares practical tips for nurturing your mind, body, and spirit. Learn how pairing small mindful habits, creating stillness, and focusing on the four pillars of well-being (nutrition, exercise, sleep, spirituality) can make self-care achievable—even in the busiest times of life.
Don’t miss our signature Pits & Peaks—featuring everything from Easter baskets still out in June to the joys of pressure washing!
Recommended
Transcript
Arthur's Birthday Reflections
00:00:00
Speaker
The other day Michael was Are wrestling, Megan? Are you getting ready? So organized here. Will you print them out? I mean, when it's my turn, I must. I must. Today is Arthur's birthday.
00:00:13
Speaker
happy birthday, Arthur. Big day. it's a bit He just came back from his 10th birthday trip, so I feel it's a little anticlimactic. Like, we're not doing much on this end, but right he's into it.
00:00:25
Speaker
Wait, what'd you guys do? Did you go to Disney? Mark took him. that We do Universal. Oh, yeah. That's what I mean. Same. But he is so cute. He had never read. He read Harry Potter a little too young. And so it scared him. And he was like, I think I'm good.
00:00:41
Speaker
I'm done. And so when they went to Universal, I kept saying, buddy, I think you're really going to like Harry Potter World because as an adult, I cannot get enough of it. I mean, I could just sit there and take it in. It is true.
00:00:54
Speaker
beauty and ingenuity and it's clever and it's transformative and I could just I could write a thesis on it and I was hopeful that he might go and see it and they've added like a whole third park now so it's now the Ministry of Magic, Diagon Alley and wherever Hogwarts is And he came back and he's, he realized he had read the first one. So they watched the movie and he has not taken his headphones off since he got back. He's listening to the second one.
00:01:21
Speaker
So I think we got him. Aw. Yeah, it's so cute. He just went? Yeah, he got back on Sunday night. Oh my gosh, so fun. That's so fun. Just him and dad.
00:01:32
Speaker
Yeah, I've taken the girls and so Mark took the boys, yeah. Oh, that's so fun. Yeah, it's really sweet.
Meet 'Just For Moms' Hosts
00:01:39
Speaker
Welcome to Just For Moms. I'm Charlotte. I'm Caitlin.
00:01:42
Speaker
I'm Megan. And I'm Callie. We are regular moms talking about regular stuff like aging, parenthood, work-life balance, and figuring out what's for dinner. Again, no-judgment zone to talk, laugh, and maybe cry about all the things women think about on a daily basis. Okay, should I start here?
00:02:02
Speaker
Let's do it. Okay. Ready? Welcome back. Okay. Okay. Okay, here we go. Okay.
00:02:13
Speaker
We just stopped bringing it on, so I can't. It's now like hardwired in my brain. Oh, I love that movie. Ready? Okay. Go. Go. She's ready. Here we go. Just four moms.
00:02:26
Speaker
Callie, Caitlin, Charlotte, and Megan. We're back. We should do a roll call. I'm Charlotte. she I'm Callie.
00:02:37
Speaker
so Wow, we suck. And I'm Caitlin.
00:02:43
Speaker
Welcome back. How is everyone doing today? is shining. Sun is shining. um Temperatures are warm. Nothing to complain about. I agree. Finally, the sun is out. I'm over this rain and it's like, oh, you go outside. Doesn't it give you extra energy when the sun's out too, right? Puts you in a better mood?
00:03:05
Speaker
and think so. It does. I can't get outside right now though because I'm just
Dealing with a Possum Problem
00:03:10
Speaker
going to say it. I was going to include it and my mom fails, but it's not my fault. There's a very dead rotting possum in my yard and he's giant.
00:03:20
Speaker
And it smells like nothing I've ever smelled in my life. So every time I step outside, i gag a little bit and we called animal control and no one called me back. So my husband's got to see if maybe a neighbor will come help him remove it. Cause it's that big.
00:03:34
Speaker
Oh, wow. Do you have a snow shovel? but Brandon was like, I don't even know if it would fit on it. Like he's huge. It's that big. You sure it's a possum? Yeah. I saw it by accident. He's been disassembled.
00:03:48
Speaker
Yeah. Oh boy. Okay. So I can't enjoy the sun guys. Okay. Until the possum is removed. Yeah. Until he leaves. Okay.
00:04:00
Speaker
So the animal feature this week in your life is not a good one. No, it's really just, I mean, I actually don't care about him cause I really don't, he doesn't affect, like, I'm not sad about him.
00:04:14
Speaker
If it was like a, it was one of my deer, wouldn't be here. I would have had to take a day off. yeah I will say possums are kind of magical animals. If you look at all the benefit they provide to society, they just, they need to have like a makeover. Yeah. They're just so ugly.
00:04:31
Speaker
It's hard to cheer for them. Yeah. I have to just pretend he was terrible because I heard him being attacked. So I just, I can't go there. I just have to imagine that he's a horrible creature that deserved to not be here. Yeah. He probably robbed other possums.
00:04:45
Speaker
He did. He committed tax evasion and stuff. Okay, so moving on to the dead possum in Caitlin's front yard.
Hiring Etsy Witches
00:04:57
Speaker
Have you all heard of Etsy witches?
00:05:00
Speaker
Etsy witches and casting stches spells. Sorry, that was a tongue twister over here. People are paying them. And you can cast a spell. For example, a guy cast a spell on the Pacers recently, so the Knicks would win.
00:05:20
Speaker
And another one was someone cast a spell because their wedding was coming up. Have you all heard of these at Etsy? Why is it so hard for me to say that? Etsy? Etsy witches. Witches.
00:05:33
Speaker
No. and No? None of you? Okay. Well, Etsy is like a crafting website. I know. I know. That's why I've been seeing it all over social media, and I was like, we need to chat about this. And ah Charlotte, if you could cast an Etsy witch spell, do you would you and what would you cast?
00:05:50
Speaker
Or you're just not into casting spells. I don't know that it's my vibe. Also, Caitlin, witchcraft, it's right there in the name, I realized as I said it, I was waiting for someone to say it's still a craft. Yeah.
00:06:02
Speaker
um and I don't know anything about spells. like is it okay is it Do we have to be fairly specific? I mean, it seems to me that- Oh, okay. Yeah. um I don't know. would probably be pretty selfish and ask for help, like knowing where to take my business next. That's very specific and self-centered because I feel like health and world peace, that's too broad, right?
00:06:27
Speaker
Yes. No, I agree. I like that spell. Caitlin, would you use an Etsy witch to cast a spell? um If it was to get me money, yes.
00:06:38
Speaker
Okay. Or maybe to get the possum out of my yard. Okay. What were the rules in Practical Magic? What were the rules? It was only that you couldn't you couldn't kill someone, which is where the whole problem started. Spoiler alert. But wasn't money part of it? You can't- yeah Yep.
00:06:56
Speaker
I'm looking at it. Yeah. Yeah. You'll just have to read the description when you're on your Etsy, which site. Yeah. mean What, about what about you, Callie? Do you have any spells you would cast?
00:07:07
Speaker
I don't know. Yeah, I don't – I feel like spells, they make me nervous because I think about like genies in a bottle. Like if you don't say it right, then what if you don't get the right thing?
00:07:18
Speaker
You know what I mean? Yes. And what are you not thinking of? Yeah. You know, like the people who wish for wish for beauty and then and I don't know. Yeah. Unhappy or something. For me, I would cast a spell or ask the Etsy witch to cast a spell to have the summer be warm every day.
00:07:37
Speaker
85 and sunny and a little breeze. That would be not humid. No. I don't know. I like a rainy summer day. It gives you a break, an excuse to just sit inside and play solitaire. I wouldn't buy that spell.
00:07:50
Speaker
I just tried to find out the rules of practical magic. And I'm having some difficulty because it keeps talking about shoes and cats.
00:08:00
Speaker
Oh, Caitlin, you need to ask the witch to cast a spell to get rid of the possum in your front yard. Yeah, that's what I just said. Money or the possum. I think you're not supposed to cast a spell about love. I think you're allowed to in love. I think that's one too. remember But if you cast a spell about love, then you wish for death upon a man, right? Okay. I think that's what happens.
00:08:23
Speaker
Anything dark that's dark magic. Clearly none of us are Etsy witches because we don't even know the rules. I did just see that movie though. I feel stupid that I – and the second one's coming out.
00:08:34
Speaker
I know. i did hear that. I'm excited.
00:08:38
Speaker
What movie is that? Practical Magic. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah That's a good one. That was one of those soundtracks that I got from Columbia Music for a penny. You know hey you could get like 10 CDs? That was one of mine.
00:08:50
Speaker
yeah I still have mine at my parents' house. Yes. It's a good one. But like, Megan, why didn't you do this before? Why didn't you have an Etsy witch cast a spell before we did this podcast? So then you can report back and tell us. know. I might have to look into it after this episode. you you know you I did go on Etsy and check it out and I saw the fee and what you pay. And yeah, I mean, to be honest with you, i think it's all a bunch of bullshit.
00:09:18
Speaker
I want to discuss it with you and our listeners because it's trending right now and it's an interesting topic. So should we move on from it now? I know. I assume there's no return policy, but yeah, we can move on.
00:09:32
Speaker
It's got big Miss Cleo vibes. so Yes. Yes. Okay. So mom
Mom Fails and Creative Solutions
00:09:38
Speaker
fails. I'm going to go first. I'm So my Ava ran out of pink thread for her pointe shoes and she needed them for Something that need to be completed at dance.
00:09:56
Speaker
So my mom failed. She did ask me to get the pink thread. I forgot. Things have been busy. But we used dental floss and it worked just as good. So. What do you do with the thread?
00:10:08
Speaker
The pointe shoes. she is Sorry, I should have been more detailed. She needed to sew her pointe shoes. And we ran out of pink thread to sew them. And yeah. Dental floss works.
00:10:20
Speaker
Yep. Were they broken or is sewing a pointe shoe part of the deal? Brand new. They smell a little minty now, but I Googled it and other people do it. So it was a fail.
00:10:33
Speaker
i ah Let's hope the dental floss is not a fail too, but my bad for- In run. Yeah. So I just wanted to share that was my fail slash hopefully the second part is not a fail.
00:10:50
Speaker
Caitlin, do you have a mom fail or anything you'd like share? This is more like a mom win. None of my kids saw the dead possum because I told them not to go down that side of the house. I was with Arbor walking, trying to find out what smelled like fish and in yard.
00:11:07
Speaker
And then I just picked her up and ran away with her. But for real, a mom fail right now. So last time we all met, we were talking about potty training. Arbor's like fully potty trained. except for like the messy potty that they do.
00:11:20
Speaker
My mom fail is it took us so long that she just got accustomed to every time she used the bathroom, she got a jelly bean or a tiny M&M. And now I'm having to teach her, mommy doesn't get a treat every time she goes potty. So you don't get a treat. And it's been hard.
00:11:39
Speaker
yeah There's lots of angry toddler tantrums. you You kind of want an M&M every time you go too, right? I want something now. yeah Flip the script.
00:11:50
Speaker
Flip the script. just but Just a glass of wine every time I pee. right I mean, I'd be drunk by noon because I pee that much. see I'd be drunk by 10 a.m.
00:12:01
Speaker
Yeah, Callie, you're always up at like 4.30, you and Caitlin. And just pee all the time. Charlotte, do you have a mom fail? Potentially. Okay. Okay. This is our, we're coming up on graduation. So this will air obviously after fact, but I have a fifth grader graduating and they don't have any real dress code per se, but obviously they're meant to look nice and pulled together. And so we've picked out the dress and she's gone with the white dress, which is fine. That's not required.
00:12:33
Speaker
And I'm asking her, she hasn't fought me on it, but I'm asking her to wear actual sandals. And you know that like white high tops or some sort of sneaker variety, it's going to be in the chat.
00:12:47
Speaker
And I just told her, I said, I don't think I would let you wear sneakers to a wedding or a fancy party. Like I do think there's a time and a space when the sneakers, even though they look cute for a prom,
00:12:59
Speaker
And she didn't fight me. She said, that's fine. I get it. But I'm, I'm worried that she's going to show up and every one of those girls is going to be in some sort of sneaker and she's going to be the only one in sandals and that's going to backfire on me.
00:13:11
Speaker
But don't you think for a graduation, we can put the sneakers away? Yeah. I feel like it it's very, I'm seeing it's shifting our town last year, all the eighth grade, fifth grade, anytime the girls were dressed up or something, they were with sneakers this year. It's a heel.
00:13:27
Speaker
So my issue is the opposite. Annabelle wants to wear her little target heels everywhere. And I'm like, no, you don't, this is not not everywhere. But yeah, we're shifting from sneakers in our town. So maybe you'll get lucky.
00:13:41
Speaker
Maybe couple sandals will be out there. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. i feel I feel like an old lady being like, no, you've got to look nice. and Yeah. but No, but I think like – I feel like I talk to my kids about that too sometimes. Like there's just certain things.
00:13:55
Speaker
and don't know. it always feels weird because when they ask why, like the answer is just like because that's what we do. But like I don't know. I mean like I was even thinking about like when we potty train, right? Like we teach them to go into potty because that's what like as society we've decided that's where you go. So like and there' some things we just teach them that as society. That's how we do it.
00:14:14
Speaker
And you know what, Charlotte, if she's the only one in sandals, she's going to be the one that looks best. So that's right. Yeah. And that's what you can tell her. I'm sure she'll feel that way as a fifth grade. Yeah, I know. Right. Yeah.
00:14:27
Speaker
Yeah. Callie, any mom fails at your house? I do have a mom fail. So the other day we were leaving an event at church and i had the stroller with me and Michael had, we had all four kids with us. It was like an evening event. Michael had run ahead with the two big kids and I had just Tate with me and the stroller at the top of stairs. I had to take it downstairs. And it's just like our travel stroller. It's not heavy. I carry it up and down the stairs all the time at our house.
00:14:56
Speaker
So was like, no big deal. I'm holding Tate. And we go to walk out and take it down the stairs. And there's a man in front of me. He's like, oh, do you need help? And I'm like, no, no, of course I got this. Like, I carry this stroller all the time.
00:15:07
Speaker
Well, grab it by the crossbar that like goes up across the top. And for whatever reason, it wasn't snapped into place. So as I take it down the stairs, it just like flips like veggie straws are everywhere. The water bottle tumbles.
00:15:22
Speaker
And of course, this guy comes like rushing back to help me, which is so nice. But now I'm just embarrassed because I was like, no, of course got I'm so great. i can do it by myself. And so it was just sort of embarrassing. And the moral story is I'm so used to doing everything, you know, by myself, right? You're like a mom of multiple kids at home. I'm like constantly doing things one handed.
00:15:42
Speaker
And so when people offer help, sometimes I just naturally i'm like, I got it. Not because like i don't think I don't know. I'm bad about accepting help because i'm just used to doing it. So the moral story is when people offer help, I should take it.
00:15:55
Speaker
What a good segue how to our topic. Thanks. Yeah. Yes. right gete Let's just go right into it. Okay.
Self-Care for Moms
00:16:04
Speaker
The topic for this week's episode is self-care and well-being, taking time for yourself.
00:16:13
Speaker
I love Megan. Megan's like, checks, notes. Self-care. When Megan starts episodes, I always feel a little bit like you're our teacher, and I'm like waiting for lesson. I know. I know. you know. good way. No, in ah yeah a very good way.
00:16:27
Speaker
I did my research here. Yep. I kind of like when you have a prop too. One time you brought a picture of that lady. Oh, yes. I know. You know, I thought I wanted to be a teacher for ah one hot second and then I was in the classroom for one hot second. Yeah.
00:16:42
Speaker
Decided that. ah Creative world. Yes. Okay. So it's critical for moms to prioritize their physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
00:16:54
Speaker
as this can positively impact their relationship with their children and overall life satisfaction. So I know for me personally, I've learned since having one, two, now three kids, I felt like with my first, I did not prioritize my self-care enough.
00:17:16
Speaker
I always just felt bad and, you know, you get that selfish feeling. But then i as I had... you know, my second and now my third, I've realized with experience that must – ma
00:17:32
Speaker
get some time for myself. If it's working out, going to get my nails done, whatever it is, my mood, the way I feel inside, the way I look makes me feel better. I just feel like I'm a better parent overall, better wife, better friend, everything. So I feel like taking care of yourself as a mom or even if you don't have kids is huge and crucial for yourself and also your family's relationship, your relationship with your husband, make the time.
00:18:07
Speaker
Don't feel guilty about it. Prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical health by engaging in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. They're so important today in the society we live in. It's taking time for yourself constantly to nurture your well-being and to avoid a burnout. We've all had those burnouts. I feel like right now I'm having them because we're in June here, June-cember when this airs. It'll be later. But yeah. And i like even tomorrow, I was supposed to do something for work and I pushed it.
00:18:40
Speaker
to next week because I'm like, I need to do something for myself and work out because I'm just feel like I'm just running on thin ice and I, my patients with the kids, same. So i just, that's my thoughts and personal take on it all. Charlotte, what do you feel about self-care and taking time for yourself? What's your thoughts on this topic?
00:19:04
Speaker
Well, I, I feel like I may be the outlier. Obviously i agree with it. I think it's important. Yes. I grew up in a household where there wasn't a lot, like we weren't at our, our parents were not at our beck and call.
00:19:19
Speaker
Like our parents were very standoffish, not in a asshole way, just in a like not hovery type of way. And so I think the example that I always had growing up was that parents were parents and kids were kids. And so there wasn't that intersection that I think gets in the way of parents.
00:19:38
Speaker
You know, the whole struggle with self-care, in my opinion, is just the inability to like cut that cord, so to speak. I mean, it's hard to sort of say your kids are fine without you. Go do something.
00:19:49
Speaker
And maybe I'm oversimplifying it. But for me, that wasn't the example of parenthood that I grew up with. And so as a parent, I think I've carried a little bit of that forward.
00:20:00
Speaker
so I don't view my role as ah parent as sort of being with my kids at all times, at all moments. And so that dynamic certainly is helpful.
00:20:12
Speaker
i will also say that I've always, when my kids were first born, i was still a school counselor, so i was working. And that seems like a weird sort of self-care, but for me, it was just that one aspect of my identity that had nothing to do with being a mother.
00:20:28
Speaker
And then when we left the city, that's when I started blogging and doing what I do now. So that was sort of my hack to self-care at the time was just a chance to tag out and be like, you guys have to figure this out because I'm going to sit at my computer and write up a blog post right now.
Charlotte's Self-Care Journey
00:20:44
Speaker
And so I think that whether I realized I was creating that dynamic or not, I think that has helped me as I've moved through motherhood because It's just like, why wouldn't you go do something that you need to do? Like, why wouldn't you leave the kids with a trusted sitter or your spouse and go out for dinner with their girlfriend?
00:21:06
Speaker
So it doesn't, I guess I don't have that internal like, ooh, should I or shouldn't I? Because it's like, they're all going to be fine and I want to go have dinner. So bye. Yeah. And I don't know if that, I don't know. It's not anything deliberate, but it hasn't ever been like this internal struggle. Certainly leaving the kids when they were little was much harder, but it was never the like, oh, I don't deserve this and I shouldn't.
00:21:28
Speaker
And I just, i I'm wondering if it's just how I grew up with my parents or what. I don't know. I'd be curious to hear what you guys think. Is it hard? Do you identify with the struggle to Like self-care or is it, I don't know, hard, medium, easy?
00:21:44
Speaker
I don't know. i mean, it took me a really long time to be able to say, I'm going to do this for myself. I mean, everybody I know knows that since I had my first I guess, you know, she'll be 12 in December.
00:22:00
Speaker
My husband always did whatever he wanted. Like, oh, you're his best friends and him. We're going to go fly across the country to a football game. Sure. No problem. Go ahead. And I'm home.
00:22:11
Speaker
Him and his friends are going to go to March Madness in Vegas. Sure. Go ahead. I'm home. He's going to stay late with his friends after work. Well, I'm the stay at home mom. So, okay, bye. And I don't know my people. My mom always says like, you just let it happen. And you you know, you just sat there and just let him do what he wanted. But I think I was okay with it.
00:22:32
Speaker
I think I just, I didn't really have that type of friends group at the time. i didn't really have a lot of friends locally. Everyone lived in the city when we were in Georgia. So No one was there and I was okay, but everybody else had a problem with it.
00:22:47
Speaker
And they would always talk about it like you don't do anything. Well, okay, I don't want to. It wasn't until I moved to Connecticut and my kids were... one and four, that that's when I was like, well, I kind of want to do things now because, you know, I've moved to my hometown. So a lot of my friends were there, my family is there and suddenly things were happening.
00:23:09
Speaker
There was still no travel portion, though, that he's always traveled because his friends live all over the country. And again, I'm I was fine with it. Now it's taken a lot out of me because I got in that easy set way of just, I don't go anywhere. I don't do anything to, I want to go ah away and I want to do things.
00:23:28
Speaker
And when I first started doing it, my oldest two children would be like, well, where are you going? Why are you leaving? Like, what are we supposed to do? Your father's right here. He's your dad, you know, like who's going to take care of us, him, just like he always has.
00:23:43
Speaker
And that's, you know, and I don't, you know, you to what you were saying, Charlotte, like, did you, did you become the parent that you are because you saw how your parents weren't hovering all the time?
00:23:57
Speaker
Mine were not hovering all the time. Mine were, you know, going out on trips and overnights and we stayed at our cousin. So I think mine was just situational. I just didn't have the opportunity to go out and do things.
00:24:09
Speaker
So that's, you know, my parents did probably what yours did. They just, they did whatever they wanted. It's also a little bit of a muscle because I also wrote that part of self-care is realizing that, you know, there's a little bit of a control that goes along with it. And so part of giving yourself permission to tag out is recognizing that other people can be loving and trusted individuals to your children.
00:24:33
Speaker
And I was in schools when my first was born. And so I had to kind of figure out how to navigate a sitter or a nanny, she came into our house and it's, it's a muscle. So the more you do it, the better you get at it. And so, and then your kids get older and it's like, I, you know, i would literally let the UPS guy hang out with the kids if, you know, they just, they can take care of themselves in a different way when they're a little bit older.
00:24:59
Speaker
So for me, that was also part of it. Having a bunch of kids, I just had to learn pretty early on to let other people take the wheel. And, and that allowed me to go do, whether it was work or getting a manicure or going out for drinks.
00:25:15
Speaker
yeah I think that's part of it for sure. Charlotte, i you sharing your personal experience, I like look up to you for that because I wish I didn't – don't know if I would call it helicopter mom, but I feel like I need to let them figure stuff out more, not be so on top of them. And like that self-care is letting them figure stuff out where I feel like in your home, being a mom of five, your kids are probably so independent because you've kind of stepped away a little bit, which is great self-care because then, like you said, you can have time for yourself. You worked, you taught, now you have your your business. So I think that's pretty great.
00:25:55
Speaker
Yeah. yeah I mean, it's like win-win, but that's, I mean, that, that wasn't, that came from years in a classroom too, because you can't micromanage 18, six-year-olds. You have to let them go. And so you sort of, you it get practice in that too. So I don't want to suggest that it's like an easy choice, but it's just, the more you do it, the more it's like, this doesn't matter. Go figure it out.
00:26:15
Speaker
You're like, Ava, you don't need all your water. You can go yeah turn not no you're on the faucet. Yeah, no. And you make it look easy. Callie, what's... Kelly, what's your thoughts on self-care, well-being, taking time for yourself?
00:26:30
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like for me, it's gotten easier with each kid. And probably, Charlotte, to your point, it's like the more kids you are you have, the less you can sort of micromanage the situation. Like with my first, I feel like, and I don't know if it was like that I felt that it was necessarily so much guilt. Like i was like, oh, I can't go.
00:26:51
Speaker
it was some of it was just... The first and I did everything and the idea of having to teach somebody else how to do the things that I had been doing so that I could go away for a few hours, it almost like felt like not worth it.
00:27:04
Speaker
Like when you were a teacher and you had to write sub plans, you know, and you're like, is this even worth the day off? But with her little, it feels so precarious too. Don't you remember thinking like, if I don't feed them 10 minutes before bath time, we're screwed?
00:27:16
Speaker
Yes. Yes. I had, yeah, you have all these like perfect scenarios, you know, and now it's like with my fourth, I'm like, here you go. She eats in an hour. so Some of that is just par for the course. when there's When there's more children, you just are forced to figure it out. But we also, especially once we had a third, we started, like Charlotte said, to have to rely on other people.
00:27:39
Speaker
And I started to realize that these not only... can I trust other people to watch my children that they are going to watch them in different ways than i do. And that's actually good for them. And I started to really like look at the benefits for my children as well, for them to have these other kinds of adults in their lives who are going to maybe, um,
00:27:58
Speaker
you know, interact with them in different ways. And so that really helped me too. But a lot of it was just, you know, I think if I only had two, I don't know if I would have gotten to the place that I am now where I feel comfortable sort of like stepping back and being like, you guys got this.
00:28:12
Speaker
So I don't know. I mean, I can, I can absolutely relate to the feeling of, Just being like, it's just not worth it for me to to go. It's just too much work. It's not, you know, whatever. And I don't really know how you get to that point. I mean, I think that we all can agree that we need time to ourselves. I think we all can say, I'm a better mom when I have time to myself. I'm a better mom when I go out and do these things.
00:28:35
Speaker
But I also know, I mean, I, you know, my, my kids are quite small still and having people come in to watch them, like if Michael and I together are going to go somewhere or if he's working and I need somebody to watch the kids, like we need two people. Like I got a, I got baby. I've got a barely two year old, got a four, you know, so that's a lot just managing that. And sometimes it just doesn't feel worth it.
00:28:56
Speaker
So that part's tricky. And I do know, even though I, I know that self-care is so important, To me, it can be one of those things that I let slip because it is such an easy thing to take off the table when life gets really busy. Like I can't not grocery shop, can't not work and make money, can't not go pick up the kids from school, but like I could just not work out for a few weeks. And even though – I know I'm going to feel so much better if I do, if I take that time for myself.
00:29:21
Speaker
It's such an easy one for as parents for us to like chop that I think that's where it becomes really tricky because we can all agree that it's important, but sometimes actually finding the time and then like being like, no, this is more important than, you know and then finding somebody else to watch your kids so you can do it.
00:29:38
Speaker
I think that puzzle piece can be really hard. I also think finding the small, like you might have to ease into it a little bit. So self-care may not be a weekend away with your girlfriends right off the bat. I don't even do those. Yeah, no. No, but it might be, you know, maybe it's 15 minutes just to sit alone in the car before you walk in and relieve the sitter. Maybe it's, I don't know, a walk with your child, but listening to a podcast and not spending the whole walk saying, oh, look at the flowers and look at the squirrels. You know, maybe it's that.
00:30:08
Speaker
So I think it, I think it's an important note and reminder to especially moms of young kids, because I think that's the time when you're right. It just gets away from you. It's just to take some time to write down maybe a list of things that would make you feel good and then like schedule it. Maybe it's once a week. Maybe it's not even
Easing into Self-Care
00:30:28
Speaker
that long. But I think if you just make it part of your routine, that would be my advice.
00:30:32
Speaker
No, I think that's a good advice too because I do think a lot of people, like you said, we maybe you have um either friends of kids that have more support, lots of grandparents around, so it's easier for them to get out or you're just not in that phase yet and you look, like you said, people going – mean, I don't, haven't had a girl's trip since I had children. I just have little children and that's just the logistics that is too much, but I agreed like the working up to it. Even if you're nervous to leave your kid with somebody, hire somebody to watch your kid and like go upstairs and get some stuff done and then ease into now you can run an errand and you can definitely, if you're in that place where you feel uncomfortable about it, I think you can definitely slowly ease yourself into it. I think that's a great tip.
00:31:13
Speaker
Yeah. there's There's other forms of self-care that's not necessary like working out, going getting get going to get a manicure. And this is something I had to teach myself that it's okay to be lazy.
00:31:24
Speaker
and by lazy, I mean, you have a couple hours and your baby's sleeping, your child goes to a play date and your other child's occupied that you to just sit down and do nothing is fine.
00:31:36
Speaker
And that took me a really, really long time to accept because I would do that and then I'd feel guilty and then I'd take out that guilt in some way by trying to control something around the house or angry cleaning to just realize that no, everyone deserves an two hours, maybe six hours of doing nothing.
00:31:56
Speaker
If it will it's handed to you in some way or you find it and you know you have some crazy routine every single night where are you actually let's talk me. I had a routine in the morning.
00:32:09
Speaker
i get up I got up at four for years. I only get up at five now. And I let myself sleep in a little bit more so I can stay up a little bit more at night reading in bed. And nothing's changed. Like the world didn't explode. And that's my shift in my self-care to, ah you know, to adapt to what's going on in our lives right now.
00:32:29
Speaker
And it took me like a month to accept that that's what I was going to do and then realize, oh yeah, this works too. This is fine. But you know, like Charlotte said, going for a walk in the neighborhood and putting in AirPods, I used to feel so guilty listening to anything when I was walking around with Arbor outside.
00:32:46
Speaker
Now I pop one in and she can still ask me all the questions that she wants. And I might answer five out 10 every minute that she asks. And I'm still listening to music maybe or a book. And taking care of myself so I'm not completely just overwhelmed.
00:33:03
Speaker
To this day, if you were to show up at Martha Martin's house, at, I don't know, 1230 or one o'clock, there's going to be a soap opera on. And that was the story of my life every day growing
Childhood Memories of Self-Care
00:33:15
Speaker
up. That was, ah you know, and she wasn't doing dishes or maybe folding laundry, but yeah listen, I'll fold laundry to see what's happening with Drake and Marlena or whoever it was.
00:33:25
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like in our house, it was a general hospital or yeah, general hospital. And same thing, Charlotte, I would sit there and watch it. It probably was inappropriate. But but Every But every day. And then my mom would – honestly, I remember she would bring the clothes in from the line. She used to put the clothes out on the on the drying line, bring them in, and we would fold together and watch General Hospital. And yeah, you're right. That was probably her self-care, even though I was like sitting there probably being annoying, but right?
00:33:56
Speaker
Yeah. Every day. Yeah. So. Okay. So – Tips for self-care is understanding your needs, what activities make you feel relaxed and energized, and it should not be a chore.
00:34:11
Speaker
And one thing I wanted to share for our listeners is schedule and allocate 15 to 20 minutes a day of self-care. Just do it. Don't feel guilty or selfish and just be persistent with it. And I guarantee your wellbeing and just how you feel overall in your mental health, you'll feel like an amazing person because I've been learning to do this.
00:34:35
Speaker
And really fast, I know we kind of all went through this, but how do you create self-care for yourself and how much time do you spend doing it? Let's go really quick. Like if we have one favorite form of self-care, I'll start with you, Charlotte.
00:34:51
Speaker
Every day, if you have something and how much time would you say? I mean, my kids are old and out of the house. So I feel like I've graduated past the like making time for it. love my job. So like making giant food, come on, that's so fun and silly, but I can get lost in TikTok. I mean, the minute my husband walks in the door, it's like, you're on bro. I'm gone, you know, mentally.
00:35:13
Speaker
So yeah. Yeah. No, I love that. That's that's amazing. Caitlin, what's your favorite form of self-care? it's Right now it's reading, reading or painting. Callie?
00:35:24
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like the one that I make time for every day is probably reading too. If I'm in a good jive, like everyone's sleeping decently through the night, then working out in the morning is very important to me, but that's that's very dependent on the situation.
00:35:39
Speaker
in the Bransport household with the kids. Yes. For me, it's working out, same thing. ah Going to Pure Bar, that's that's my time. And when I do miss some classes, I i feel it. And I'm like, I got to get back there because it's just my my mental health. And I'm like, wow, I feel good after I worked out. so i I mean, mine is mine is also hot yoga, but I didn't say that because I can't do it every day. They're just schedule-wise. There's not enough holes in it, but- I'll tell you, I couldn't go for seven days straight and I was nasty.
00:36:14
Speaker
it was just very nasty. Everyone in the house, it didn't help that I was PMSing. And Brandon was like, what is wrong? And I was like, I have not been in a hot room. Like there' that that's, I just need to be in a hot room. that's turn up the temperature in here.
00:36:29
Speaker
It turns off my brain. And then I'm just present in that hot moment and moving my body and I'm a better human. Yeah. So yeah. no It's true.
00:36:40
Speaker
And I wanted to ah share a few stats. On average, people only spend 15 minutes a day on health-related self-care. Self-care is proven to reduce stress and anxiety levels while increasing self-compassion.
00:36:58
Speaker
And another stat I found really interesting. Raising a child may be rewarding and joyful, but it can be consuming. Pew Research Center survey found 59% of people say that they spend the right of amount of time with their children. And yet the other half of all the parents say they don't have enough time away from their kids.
00:37:21
Speaker
To spend with friends or family on hobbies, which I thought was pretty interesting. So where's the disconnect there? And I feel like it's also like you were saying, Charlotte, the way we parent today, I feel like has a lot to do with it.
00:37:35
Speaker
We over parent. I know in my house I do. i Charlotte, I don't, you know, you got that that that down over there. but But it goes along with the episode that we did about talking about the perfect summer and creating, you know, all of this for your your children.
00:37:50
Speaker
And Just constantly thinking about how you can do everything for them is taking away from yourself because, you know, no one actually enjoys that.
00:38:01
Speaker
And if they do, then they don't, they're, they're not in touch with themselves because, or they just need to go off and be a cruise director because I don't see, i don't understand. Yes.
00:38:12
Speaker
No, definitely. Before we jump into pits and peaks, I had a great conversation with our guests. So let's jump right into that conversation.
00:38:25
Speaker
Hi, everyone. i am here with Dr. Katie. hi It's so nice to be here with you. Thanks for inviting me to join you. Thank you for being on the Just for Moms podcast. Dr. Katie, we met...
00:38:39
Speaker
gosh, how many years ago now? Do you think like five, would you say? i would say it's been it's been so many. And I'm not even sure what our what our first event was together, but I just always loved your energy. And I really enjoy watching you on Instagram. It's just hilarious. Thank you.
00:38:54
Speaker
ah Dr. Katie, tell us a little bit about yourself before we dive into our topic. Absolutely. So first and foremost, um I'm a ah mom of two boys who just turned 13. So that's a really exciting and fun and you know new adventure. Every day, I'm just trying to figure out if I'm cool mom or if I'm annoying or if I'm embarrassing mom or whatever kind of mom i I am that day. So I enjoy the 13-year-old boy situation.
00:39:23
Speaker
And then aside from that, I am an integrative medicine doctor. So I married the beauty of integrative medicine, which is all of complementary medicine, things that you think about like acupuncture and lifestyle and herbs and nutrition, and just kind of pulling it all together into regular Western medicine and starting to make sense of diseases and diagnoses.
00:39:44
Speaker
And doing that in a more natural fashion. So that's my practice of medicine. Thank you. And this week's topic is self-care and well-being. And I know it's critical for us moms to prioritize our own physical, emotional, and mental well-being. And it can be...
00:40:02
Speaker
very hard for us and impact our relationship with our kids, also our husband, our friends, if we don't take time for self-care and our well-being. And I wanted to get your thoughts on taking time for you, Dr. Katie, yourself, and what's your thoughts on this important topic for us parents and moms out there?
Dr. Katie's Self-Care Pillars
00:40:24
Speaker
Absolutely. You know, when I feel out of balance in my own life, I come back to asking myself the same four questions that I ask my patients, which is, how are you doing with your food as fuel?
00:40:36
Speaker
How are you doing with your exercise? How's your sleep been? And are you paying attention to your spiritual self? And almost always, i find myself thinking, oh, yeah, there's one of those areas that I haven't been as diligent about.
00:40:49
Speaker
you know I haven't been taking my walks or I haven't been doing my morning journaling, which is very centering to me. Or for some reason, I've skipped yoga. Or you know I've just had a bunch of events and I've been eating out and and not taking care of of of myself you know with nutrition.
00:41:04
Speaker
And so sometimes when it gets really complicated, we don't know where to turn, what to do. But if you come back to those four pillars of how am I eating, how am I exercising, how am I sleeping, and am I taking taking a care of my personal self, like my spiritual self, then it's all a little bit easier.
00:41:20
Speaker
And I don't often have time to reflect on that until I'm still. And that's the hard part about being a mom is there's just no stillness. it's a constant It's a constant movement from one thing to the next.
00:41:32
Speaker
So my best advice really is about creating stillness. And that could be just a quick 10 or 15 minutes of being still or even lying flat before your kids come home from school.
00:41:43
Speaker
It could be taking a rest before you have to um go and drive in the carpool ah you know situation. um one The other day, i took a 10-minute break before um i had to bring one of my kids to sports practice, and they were like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm just going to go lie down in my bed for 10 minutes.
00:42:01
Speaker
And those kinds of things really, really help us to show up better for our kids because most of us can hold it together in public. We can hold it together at meetings or at work or whatever we're doing.
00:42:12
Speaker
But then we totally let it loose on our kids. And there's that's the exact situation where you want to be pulled together and your best self is with your family. And so this is one way that i I do that is I just ask myself those questions. I love that. And I do have to say, I sometimes do take that 10, 15 minute break.
00:42:30
Speaker
And I set an alarm maybe on my phone, a quick cat nap if I can, if that's allowed. Yes. And working out too with the end of the year, I've been missing that. And boy, has it been affecting my mood. For sure. And the science is so good, especially if you have a night where you don't sleep so well for whatever reason, someone wakes you up or your partner snores or whatever.
00:42:52
Speaker
One of the best ways to mitigate a bad night of sleep is actually just to take a walk and do a little exercise. And so, you know, if especially if you have a bad night of sleep, take a rest and then go take a quick walk. And then I promise you, you'll show up to your family in a slightly better place.
00:43:08
Speaker
But if we don't put ourselves first, truly, if we don't put ourselves first, no one's putting us on their list. We're taking care of everybody else, but we're on no one's list to be taken care of unless we do it for ourselves.
00:43:20
Speaker
love that I love that. love your words. Thank you. um Now, on average, people only spend 15 minutes a day, and you kind of just went over that, on health-related self-care, and it's proven to reduce stress, anxiety levels.
00:43:35
Speaker
Do you have any tips for creating time for self-care, and what do you do with your time for self-care? I know you somewhat answered that just now, but any more tips for us to just really help take to take that time for ourselves.
00:43:52
Speaker
I think it's nice to kind of pair habits together. so one of the things that I do is whenever I wash my hands, I try just to make my inhale and my exhale a little longer than the one before.
00:44:05
Speaker
So I try to find these little mindful moments during the day. So for me, like if I'm in between patient visits, I just, as I walk down the hallway, I'll just find myself lengthening my inhale and lengthening my exhale.
00:44:17
Speaker
And those kinds of mini meditative moments just help bring the nervous system back to normal. So it's not like you have to do so much extra stuff, but more, what are you already doing where you could just add in a little bit of mindfulness into that task?
00:44:32
Speaker
I once remember putting my shoes on to go on a walk with my mother-in-law And as I was watching her tie her shoes, she just looked so peaceful. And I asked her, like, what are you thinking about while you put on your shoes? And she looked at me like I was crazy.
00:44:46
Speaker
And she's like, I was just thinking about tying my shoes. And I was like, you weren't thinking about the 10,000 things, like the 5,000 you're going to do after this walk and the 5,000 things you just did. And she's like...
00:44:58
Speaker
No, I was just tying my shoes. And I thought about how fun would it be if every time you slid your foot into your shoe and tied it, if you just took that 10 seconds and just brought your nervous system back to to normal, it's not like you need to create space.
00:45:14
Speaker
as much as you for something else that you have to get off done off your to do list, but actually just find those those many meditative moments to the day. So that's what I try to do. It's during the washing of the hands. It's when I'm putting my shoes on, when it I'm walking to my car, when I'm sitting at a stoplight, my inclination is, hey, answer one more text message.
00:45:33
Speaker
But now I try to do all of that just a little more mindfully and a little bit of of silence and stillness. Love that. Those are great, great tips. And I know with shoe tying, I feel like sometimes I'm even on the run putting them on, banging them.
00:45:49
Speaker
I'm like rushing to the car sometimes because I'm always late. So I need to do like your mother-in-law, sit down, take a breath and do it the right way. That's right. Isn't that crazy that we can't even put our shoes on without trying to do something else? Like it's just so, it's so expected and so typical.
00:46:07
Speaker
But that's the kind of stuff that really revs up your nervous system and then never allows you to kind of come back to baseline. And if you keep revving up over the course of the day you can imagine why you're going 88 miles an hour.
00:46:20
Speaker
it's because you're just never allowed your body just to coast for a little bit and take that pause. Yes. Now, you spoke at a, I guess I would say, almost like a business conference, a creative work conference a few years ago. And I found this so interesting.
00:46:38
Speaker
You discussed a poop chart, which I found interesting. So interesting. Can you talk a little bit about this poop chart? Oh, for sure.
Digestion, Stress, and Self-Care
00:46:48
Speaker
so you know, it's fun to actually talk about digestion in context of our nervous systems because our digestion is our daily report card.
00:46:57
Speaker
You can think about the poop that you have once a day or more, kind of as your body telling you like, hey, everything is okay. So if you look in the bowl and you're like, wow, it is really loose or wow, i' haven't pooped in three days.
00:47:11
Speaker
You can reassure that your nervous system is a little bit upregulated and you need to work on calming it down. So the poop is is kind of a good um a good you know way of looking at that.
00:47:22
Speaker
Because our our background nervous system, they call that the parasympathetic nervous system. This is the nervous system you can't control. This is our rest and digest or our fight or flight response. And that rest or digest goes along with just the stuff we've been talking about. Your body does not digest food well when it's really, really stressed out.
00:47:41
Speaker
And so if you're having digestive woes, it's a good sign that your nervous system is not in the place that it needs to be. And, you know, there are other things that regulate our digestion too. Things like our microbiome, the quality of the food that we're eating, how much fiber we're getting every day and how much water we're getting.
00:47:59
Speaker
Sometimes my yoga teacher jokes and she's like, if you do nothing else today, just get in some water. And if you get some water down the hatch, like, hey, like that's the achievement of the day. Like if that's all you do is is give yourself some water. But when you look in the bowl, we're What you really want is kind of a situation of non-effort.
00:48:17
Speaker
So if there's any effort around pooping, meaning you're rushing to the bathroom or you're pushing really hard or you feel like you have to do all these fancy things to poop, then you know there's a problem. Likewise, if you notice you've got bloating or gas or just like indigestion, like you just don't feel good, these are all signs that your digestion is off.
00:48:35
Speaker
Now when you look in the bowl, you can kind of divide yourself into like normal stool, which kind of looks like either a sausage with cracks Or like a smooth snake. yeah Those are both good.
00:48:46
Speaker
Once that smooth snake starts to break up into pieces and has jagged edges, and then you start to get like the messy wipe where you have to wipe yourself more than like once, that's when you know you're having kind of a nasty stool that's more like diarrhea.
00:49:01
Speaker
And then the other way, when your sausage with cracks gets so dry because it's been sitting in your colon for so long that the water's been so reabsorbed, it starts to look like little balls smushed together or tiny little rabbit pellets, then you know that you're in the constipation stage.
00:49:17
Speaker
And there's so much you can do about that. You can take ginger as a motility aid. You can do a probiotic. You can take digestive enzymes. You can take magnesium. There's so many things that you can do to regulate your digestion aside from eat fiber and drink water if you're having trouble.
00:49:33
Speaker
But that's the poop chart in a nutshell. yeah But basically, if you look in the bowl and it is not looking good, get some help. yeah There's no reason to suffer. Yes. Or maybe like your tips, like you said, maybe we need to go take 10, 15 minutes to ourself to help us relax to poop, right?
00:49:50
Speaker
Totally. It sounds totally wacky, but I spend the first 15 minutes of my day in bed after I've awoken just breathing. trying to let go of the 10,000 things that are entering my brain.
00:50:01
Speaker
And wouldn't you believe it? 10 or 15 minutes later, my body's like, all right, let's go. It's time. And so you too can be a poop meditator. Like it is a thing. People do it all the time and it works really well. Yes.
00:50:14
Speaker
Well, thank you so much for being on the Just for Moms podcast, Dr. Katie. You were amazing and so helpful. So thank you. You're so welcome. I'm glad to join you from my mobile office as I ah dart around on a Friday afternoon. Thank you so much. Thanks.
00:50:28
Speaker
Bye. Okay. Bye-bye.
00:50:32
Speaker
Okay. Pits and peaks. I'm going to start. Okay. Let me go get it. Okay. It's ready. here I'm ready. okay I love when Megan's pits and peaks are show and tell.
00:50:43
Speaker
Don't you? Me too. Yeah. I still have Easter baskets out.
00:50:52
Speaker
I must have told my kids to come clean them out and get the stuff that the bunny brought you.
00:51:03
Speaker
I'm going to sit and compose myself because my OCD and type A is over those things. i Yeah, I would have thrown it away. Why do I have to do it? Like I've asked 14 times, come take your stuff or throw it out and organize it.
00:51:18
Speaker
Oh, that's right in the garbage. That's the use news you lose. Yeah. yeah There's like, look at Cotton candy. Or stick it in your nightstand you want it. Yeah. Yeah. That goes. Bye-bye. Out.
00:51:29
Speaker
So that's my pit. It's just like, yeah. Like, I mean, come on. um Go to, yeah. Okay. Charlotte, what's your pit or peak? I have a peak and this, I feel like this ties into something lame. Maybe my age.
00:51:44
Speaker
I have a new pressure washer. Man, that's, wo that hit. That hit. Yeah. I would enjoy that. So I've been doing a little spring cleaning and it's just, it's a nice little refresh.
00:51:56
Speaker
They're so satisfying. Yeah. Big time. Caitlin, pit or peak this week? Um...
00:52:04
Speaker
I don't know. I had a couple on my mind. Uh, I guess this is like a pit. So talking, mentioned i hadn't been to yoga in a while and I, and I just, I need it. crave it.
00:52:16
Speaker
And I went last night and my, i specifically said, as I was leaving, can the Houston circus not be present when I come home? Maybe you're all just occupied doing things, but I don't want a circus.
00:52:29
Speaker
I pulled up to my house. My husband's outside talking to the neighbor And I'm like, okay, this already looks bad. And I get, and and the first thing I hear when I walk through the doors, Arbor screaming at me, she wants a bag of popcorn.
00:52:42
Speaker
My middle child's not supposed to be watching TV. She's watching TV and doing just like cartwheel after cartwheel and the playroom is trashed. And then my oldest comes downstairs to tell me how my middle child is watching TV and doing cartwheels.
00:52:56
Speaker
And the toddler keeps dreaming about popcorn and I need to help her with her project. And I was soaking wet and sweat, like, I'm about to pass out and all I want is a shower. and and yeah, that's my thing. Yeah. That's annoying.
00:53:10
Speaker
Yeah. Sucked. Walking into the circus is always so hard. like I didn't buy tickets. It's like, yeah. Yeah. We call it. It's walking in and seeing like a dog shit in the corner. And it's like, i have been in this room for eight seconds and I've noticed it. You people have just finished a meal. What is happening? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:53:30
Speaker
We call it the Chanel a shit show in our house. That's. yeah We could do that. The Smith shit show. We could do that too. Yeah. Yeah. Or the circus. Yeah. I like this clowns and little people in cars, popcorn. There is popcorn. not in car so Did you have Britney Spears circus song playing in the back?
00:53:49
Speaker
No, it was like Patrol soundtrack. Maybe you should start playing circus music in the background. It might work. I mean, when Oliver watches Pokemon, that's what it is. You hear. Yeah.
00:54:01
Speaker
One time I complained about the month of March on my Instagram and somebody was like, you should just put on sea shanties and pretend that you own an Irish bar. And I was like, wait, that's brilliant. It kind of works a little. Try it.
00:54:13
Speaker
Okay, I will. yeah Next time I come from on circus music and pretend you're at the circus. just lean in um i have peak so last month we did a family no buy month so we didn't buy anything besides necessity and it was sounds like that would be boring but it was actually it it was actually it was eye-opening but it was also like fun to get creative with what we already had To not to just be able to use like going out and buying something to like fill space and time.
00:54:49
Speaker
And like we started doing frozen pizza night instead of like takeout pizza night. And just like little – I don't know. It was just really great. It was very eye-opening to some of the things that we buy that we didn't really need.
00:55:00
Speaker
I don't know. I really liked it.
Experiencing a 'No-Buy Month'
00:55:02
Speaker
Okay. I want – I want to take you through what I have ordered in the last 12 hours and just have you weigh in on what would be, I'm like serious, what would be necessity?
00:55:12
Speaker
Okay. So my outdoor fountain, it's cracked on the bottom. So I just ordered some waterproof tape. No. Would not. Okay. Unless it was going to, unless it was going to damage the yard.
00:55:22
Speaker
No, it wasn't a necessity. Dog treats. No. Dog food, but not dog treats. Great. A lamp for Oliver, I know. couple things for me. Okay. um Bathing suit for Martha.
00:55:36
Speaker
Unless, like I mean, if you needed it because you need it before July 1st. one. Shoes choose for graduation. Does she have shoes that she could use?
00:55:47
Speaker
like Not a single shoe that would work.
00:55:52
Speaker
Okay. Okay. I made little goodie things for the end of the year lacrosse party. I feel like, ah so this was, Michael and I had to have a lot of discussions about all of these things. During our no buy month, it was teacher appreciation week. And so we had to sit down and discuss was buying teacher gifts a necessity or not.
00:56:10
Speaker
For us, we decided that it was. We wanted to make sure that the the teachers felt appreciated. Great. Okay. Birthday presents, I assume are allowed. Yeah. That's necessity. um Okay, I'll stop. But that, mean... Yeah.
00:56:21
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. But it helped, like, because we did it together. it helped when we came across those things. We'd be like, is this... Like, we had one of our... Was we... are Our patio got finished getting installed, and it was all just, like, um dirt around the whole thing. And if we didn't put seed down, it would just be... Like, it would just erode. We had all this rain. And so, like, we agreed that going to the store and buying seed and hay so that we could, like, do the seed, like, that was necessity because otherwise...
00:56:48
Speaker
Like the actual lawn would be ruined, but buying furniture for the patio, you know, not necessity. So yeah, it helped to have somebody to, you know, So I guess i am all wondering, I like this idea. ah Clearly my brain would short circuit if I tried it myself, but like you will buy furniture for the patio eventually. Like I would eventually buy that waterproof tape, just not this month. So is it just for you to be more in understanding of your spend, even though you're going to spend the money eventually, it's less about saving money and more about intentionality.
00:57:19
Speaker
Yes, it's about, and it's about just like keeping you in check. So like if there's something we thought of, like the waterproof tape, we would add it to Amazon so that the end of the month we could be like, okay, because a lot of the stuff that like we think we need in the moment, this is what we realized.
00:57:33
Speaker
Like actually we didn't end up needing. So it's it puts some time between purchases to think about it. If you hadn't bought shoes for graduation, you might've been like, oh, we have these other ones that would work. And you know mean? So then you're youre you're forced to come up with some creative solutions.
00:57:47
Speaker
Yes, of course, at the end of the month, there was some stuff like my kids needed new clothes for the summer. So like we ended up being like, OK, I went through all of our hand-me-downs and like this is where the holes are. So, yes, you still end up spending some at the end of it.
00:58:00
Speaker
But the idea is one with the impulse purchases and two just like the idea of how many things like, oh, we almost got that and we didn't really actually need it. I like it. I like it. It was fun.
00:58:12
Speaker
I suggest it. like that. In our house, Callie, we do wants and needs. Like if Ava's like, I want, you know, or can I buy this? And I'm like, well, it's a want or a need. And she's like, well, it's a want. said, no.
00:58:26
Speaker
And same thing. Like put it in the cart and, but no, not right now. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah Some people do what they call low buy months too. So you can like say, you know, I'm going to set a $50 cap for whatever stuff for me or a $50 cap for getting food out.
00:58:45
Speaker
So it's another workaround, I guess. But yeah I found the no buy, like doing it for one month. It was just very, you know, became very easy for us to be like necessity or not necessity. Yeah, that's awesome.
00:58:58
Speaker
Okay. So thanks for tuning in Just for moms here, Megan, Callie, Charlotte, and Caitlin. Leave us a review. Let us know how we did with this episode. We like five stars. And if you want to leave us 4.5, that works too.
00:59:15
Speaker
So we'll talk to you all next week. Bye for now. Thanks. Bye. What a nice little You to come with a like, I'm Charlotte. What do you say on Bring It On? They have a little thing, right? I need to love that you like the Bring It On one. I love that movie. I need to watch it. It's like, it's been too long.
00:59:34
Speaker
I'm Megan. Yeah, but then they say something, don't they? Isn't it like, I'm Megan? haven't seen that movie in long time. Don't they clap? to they Callie. Okay. We can do it on social.
00:59:46
Speaker
Let's work on it. how i've tried written down the words to say it is time i've been waiting five days to explain how you make me feel inside baby