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Born before 1986? Perimenopause/Menopause Chat
174 Plays10 months ago
The sisters are joined by their friend Anju Olson to discuss a topic that isn't often discussed openly - menopause! Our society makes fun of menopause, something that is debilitating. Shame on us! They believe this causes women to suffer in silence.
Let's change the narrative from talking about an irritable woman that is sweating and gaining weight, to talking about how we can thrive during this period of life with our mental, physical, spiritual, and hormonal system!
Resources mentioned in the episode:
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the girl I slept in my makeup podcast by three sisters who live in three different cities are at three different life stages and have three different perspectives. They are excited to learn and grow alongside of you. This is a space full of love and acceptance. No judgment because let's face it. We all sleep in our makeup.
Special Guest and Main Topic Introduction: Menopause
00:00:21
Speaker
Please welcome Lauren, Megan and Kristen. Hey sisters. Hey.
00:00:28
Speaker
Hi. Well, today we have a very dear and special guest for you guys and you're in for a treat. And before we introduce her, I wanted to just give a little intro to the topic that we're discussing today because I know just a couple of months ago it was kind of a foreign topic for
00:00:50
Speaker
for me and the sisters.
Understanding Perimenopause
00:00:52
Speaker
So today we're going to talk about perimenopause and menopause. And so listeners, if you were born before 1986, you are in the territory of perimenopause. And if that sounds scary, don't let it scare you. But perimenopause is the normal and unavoidable recalibration of your hormonal and nervous systems during the two to 10 years leading up to your final period.
00:01:19
Speaker
because you could have your final period, which is menopause, anywhere from age 45 to 55, you could start having perimenopause symptoms as young as your late 30s, but more likely your mid 40s. And so that was, I didn't even know the definition of perimenopause before all this. And then in doing some more research in the book, the body whispers before it screams 29 million women a year are going through the change.
00:01:48
Speaker
from perimenopause to menopause, and they have no idea what it means and what is happening. And by the year 2025, 1.1 billion women
00:01:58
Speaker
will be post-menopausal.
Guest Experience: Menopause Journey
00:02:01
Speaker
And so that is why we feel like we need to talk about this more. And Angie brought this up, actually, I think a year ago. She's our guest today. And I just think the timing is perfect because she happens to have just completed her 12 consecutive months of having no period. So she is officially
00:02:21
Speaker
in her menopause state. And let me just introduce you. Andrew Olson is a first generation Indian Philly girl who has lived most of her life in Virginia. Her favorite titles are mom, wife, aunt, and friend. She is a technology professional who has spent a good portion of her career in startup companies. An amateur cook, photographer, flower arranger, mixologist, which I've been lucky enough to try and they're amazing.
00:02:49
Speaker
She is up for any new adventure that presents itself. Andrew believes you have to create your own fun and is currently enjoying new challenges in her career, more downtime, pursuing hobbies, and spending quality time with friends and family. Andrew, thank you so much for being here with us. You're welcome. I'm so excited to be here with you, ladies.
00:03:11
Speaker
Yes. And we're just so grateful that you are willing to be open with us with your journey and your own story.
Challenges and Symptoms
00:03:19
Speaker
And because I think our biggest goal with this conversation is to just start talking about it so that more people are educated and formed, and then they can start spreading the word as well.
00:03:30
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's great that you all are addressing this topic head on and bringing some visibility and awareness to it. It is definitely something that tries to get pushed under the rug like many other topics in our society, which you guys are great about taking on and educating us on over your podcast series, so.
00:03:53
Speaker
Yeah. And I think like the downplaying of this topic just creates more of us to suffer in silence because it's almost like there's like a shame around it or I think, and you can speak to this with, cause I'd love to hear the details of your own journey of the symptoms that you felt and all the things, but I can imagine it's one of those life things where it's like, you kind of feel alone because nobody's talking about it. So you don't know if what's going on as normal or if you're weird or whatever.
00:04:21
Speaker
Yeah, so it's funny that you just
00:04:26
Speaker
introduced this segment this way, Lauren, where you defined perimenopause, and that it could start as early as your late 30s, but probably most in your mid 40s, because that is, it was probably my late 40s, when the symptoms started sort of presenting themselves, but I didn't realize that that's what was going on. And so I was starting to believe that I was sick, or there was something wrong with me, or
00:04:52
Speaker
and going to lots of doctor's visits and even doctors, which this is one of the biggest pain points in this arena right now, most of our OBGYNs were not trained
00:05:05
Speaker
on menopause and how to address it and how to help women work through
Impact of COVID on Menopause Symptoms
00:05:10
Speaker
it. And so even going to my doctor and talking about them, they're like, well, you're probably in para menopause, you just have to suffer through it. Right? So yeah. And then during COVID was when it really kicked in for me.
00:05:23
Speaker
And the hot flashes are really the biggest sign because that's what everybody would talk about. Right. And so that was the biggest sign to me. I'm like, this has to be menopause. Right. And so, you know, all of a sudden me who was always cold, wanted the fans on every night and the windows open in the middle of the night. And my husband was like, what is going on here? Right. And then there was all sorts of other symptoms. And the funny thing is, is
00:05:50
Speaker
At my age, I have a whole group of women who are my friends that are my age. So we're all going through the similar things and we weren't talking about it. And so it was during COVID that my college roommates and I really, really kind of committed to our text chat that's now daily, right? And this is one of the topics that's come up over time, right? And it's funny, just people don't wanna talk about it.
00:06:17
Speaker
So yeah, that's so interesting. So besides the hot flashes and the temperature change, what other symptoms did you experience if any? Yeah, sure. And you know, I pulled my friends a little bit to be able to have a wider swath than just me. But for me personally, it was this feeling of
00:06:38
Speaker
I'll call it crazy, but I hate to use that word because my brain wasn't firing like it always does. A lot of forgetfulness, a lot of brain fog and unexplained. I would do things like book airline tickets for the wrong day or in the reverse direction or double book our calendars with two events at the same time or
00:07:04
Speaker
I don't know, multitudes of things like that. And then weight gain, unexplained weight gain, like just doing the same thing that I've always done. And especially right now, you mentioned that I just literally hit officially menopause. And in the last, I don't know how many months I've gained
00:07:24
Speaker
weight. And I feel like I've been doing better in all the ways that recommend right diet and exercise and watching how much I drink and all of that kind of stuff. And so that's the kind of stuff that is really hard to sort of explain. And then you add in a general level of anxiety that kind of
00:07:47
Speaker
presented itself that I never had before, which was heightened. And I know you, the three of you talk about this regularly, but it's been sort of new for me and trying to figure out how to work through it. And so I did go and get something for that. And we could talk about that a little bit more. And then another really big thing for me was just
00:08:11
Speaker
this very high sensitivity to light and noise. I don't know how to explain it, but in the evenings, the bright lights of lamps and stuff would really bug me and having a TV on too loud or whatever. So I've been trying to work on toning all of that down. Those are a lot of my things. There's other people will say hair loss. Some of my friends were diagnosed with osteoporosis.
00:08:38
Speaker
unexplained joint pains, right? All sorts of things, but really the hot flashes and night sweats, the inability to sleep, which leads to fatigue, and then weight gain are the things that I feel like and sort of this kind of brain fog, right? Are the things that people talk the most about. Yeah, that's
Medical Advice and Hormone Testing
00:08:59
Speaker
so helpful. And so for you, do you, when you went to the doctor to present these different symptoms, were you
00:09:08
Speaker
What, what was the, like, what did they do? Did they say it was other things at first? Did you kind of have to push, push them on it? And, um, I guess what are the steps that people out there who might be at the stage and might be showing some of the symptoms, what should they go to their doctor and push for?
00:09:27
Speaker
Just based on the little research that I did, I think it's the testing. I mean, you can test to see if you're actually in perimenopause, right? Or am I wrong? I believe that's true. We have never done that with me. Okay. Because those blood markers can be off.
00:09:45
Speaker
And everybody presents differently, right? It's just like all of us get our periods at different time and all of us experience pregnancy. For those of us who have children experience it differently. This is no different than that. We all go through it differently. So we're going to present differently and that's all the way down to our blood work. So there's no
00:10:05
Speaker
sort of formula for if your blood work says this, that means you're in menopause as far as I know, and I'm not a doctor or an expert by any means. I do that when I first went, like I said earlier, that they were like, this is something you're in menopause, you just have to suffer through it. So I went and got myself a different doctor. And it was a woman and the anxiety was what I really wanted to address first because it was creating this
00:10:33
Speaker
feeling in my stomach that I was never settled. Right. And, and that was unexplainable for many of my external factors. It was just this, I don't know how to explain it, but you know, when you get that feeling, and it's just this, yes, your stomach's turning over. And it was instant. It was every day, right. And so I started taking an anti anxiety
00:10:56
Speaker
medication, just a really small dosage. And that cut that stomach turning completely off. And it's funny, because over the years, I've tried to wean off of it
00:11:09
Speaker
because I was like, I don't really need that. I should be able to figure this out on my own. And I realized that I just went back into that same state. So I was like, well, if that's what I need to make it through my days, it's this tiny little five milligram thing, I'm going to do it, right? Yeah. And so I'll stop there for a second, because I think that's really important is to really
00:11:34
Speaker
I feel like as women, we pay a lot more attention that goes on with our bodies than men do because we've been trained with our monthly cycles all our lives, right? And so we know when something is different.
00:11:49
Speaker
listening to our bodies and giving ourselves the grace to take some downtime when we need it and just let ourselves sort of work through this, which I think is something you talk about a lot, is really important, I think, right? Yeah, very. Yeah.
Advocacy and Destigmatizing Menopause
00:12:06
Speaker
That's so good. So that was one thing. And then
00:12:10
Speaker
I worked with my doctor and she definitely was like, just listen, pay attention, we can talk about all these things. But it was a friend of mine, one of my college roommates again, who said last year,
00:12:23
Speaker
that she found this service and she is now on hormone replacement therapy, which they call HRT, which included an estrogen patch and progesterone combination. And it's made all the difference in her hot flashes.
00:12:41
Speaker
her night sweats and helping with her brain fog. And so she told me about the service. And that's the really cool thing about the time and place we're in right now is that there's all these new services. There's MIDI, there's EverNow, there's Alloy, there's Maven. And these are all being started by various groups of women doctors from what I can tell. And who are just
00:13:08
Speaker
getting themselves up to speed and becoming experts on this phase of our lives and what it entails and how it could be presenting for women who have had children, for women who haven't, for women who are experiencing perimenopause as a result of natural age or as a result of, you know, surgery and what are all the different things you can do and let's try this and let's try that. And it's been, so I went and I picked up
00:13:38
Speaker
And I met with that doctor from, I'm using the MIDI group and she put me on hormone replacement therapy and I thought it was a little too high. So we brought it down and it worked, seems to be working great. It's helped with brain fog, definitely in my forgetfulness. And it's also helped with
00:13:59
Speaker
the temperature regulation in the middle of the night and just sleeping better. Like I sleep soundly now, right? Wow. I have that through a patch. Are you wearing that patch? I'm wearing a patch for the estrogen and taking a pill for the progesterone. Okay. Yeah. So that's similar summit and listeners, I'm going to share these two doctors that you can find online.
00:14:24
Speaker
that I think are a huge resource for all of this. But some of my friends from the UK are also at your stage of life. And similar story, she had, in addition to the symptoms that you listed, she also had fatigue and exhaustion, depression, like to the point where it was just bizarre. She got really, really low bleeding gums, blurred vision,
00:14:51
Speaker
hair growing in odd places, thinning of eyebrows, swollen vagina, forgetfulness, which you said. But anyway, she went through kind of this journey too. And they put her she got over hormone tested and they she started off on a cream and estrogen cream, I think. Yeah, and that wasn't enough for her. And so like you're saying you can go and adjust and
00:15:12
Speaker
And now she's on the patch and she said that like 95% of her symptoms are at bay, which is just fantastic. So I love hearing you say that. I think it's just, we have to be our own advocate, right? I guess with like so many other things, but yeah.
00:15:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say just one more resource that I forgot to mention earlier is I was at an event a couple of weeks ago and I met a doctor named Dr. Jenna Blasey and I want to have her on the podcast. She, but she's a functional medicine expert and she actually like specializes in focuses on menopause and has like a whole system that she goes through. And it's partly hormonal imbalances, but she also, it's a lot to do with like our gut health and adrenal dysfunction too.
00:15:56
Speaker
So anyway, she has like a really cool program that helps women who are going through menopause. So yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. We'll share at the end, but I really, Andrew, I really do have to credit you for like getting this seed planted in my life and now in my sister's lives and all of my close friends will tell you that like, I can't, I'm annoying right now. I can't stop talking about it because I feel like being 43 or I turned 43 in a couple of months. So I feel like we're kind of entering into this.
00:16:26
Speaker
era,
Communication and Support Networks
00:16:27
Speaker
but you really did plant that seed. And I feel like with other things in life, once you start focusing on something, then it's like, it's hitting you in all these different directions. So the fact that that doctor
00:16:37
Speaker
connected with Megan was just crazy. That is crazy. I know. I was like, wait, I'm weirded out. I was like, we're about to talk about this on the podcast. She was like, really? That's amazing. Yeah. She like goes to conferences and like, she's really strict trying to help and like spread the word. So, you know, I'll join. I would love to hear about her too. So I'll keep an eye open. Yes. So Andrew, you, you did give us some resources and tips as far as
00:17:03
Speaker
what to do if you are, you know, with the patch and all of that. Did you throughout this process for you experience like feeling any shame just for what's happening to your body? Like you said, the kind of unexplained weight gain or any of it really, and just feeling like you have no control over it. And if you did, what would you say to any listeners that might be experiencing that same feeling of just shame? Yeah. I mean,
00:17:30
Speaker
I don't know if it's shame. I think it is some version of shame in the sense of you don't understand what's happening. I can look back now and see that this is what was happening, but at the time I didn't know. And imagine like your brain like sort of lets you down, right? And that's one thing I feel like I rely on day in and day out is knowing that I can think through something, right?
00:17:55
Speaker
and this concept of, you know, being off or crazy or whatever. And so, yeah, even like Steve didn't know, my husband didn't realize what was going on. And so,
00:18:07
Speaker
And anytime you mention the word menopause to people, you can see their faces become uncomfortable, right? You can see the discomfort in the room rise. And I have many examples of that. Yeah, just like everything else that is a taboo topic, right? And I love that in our world today, we're making things non-taboo. And really, as much as it is for me and to help all of you coming behind me, right? I really don't want our daughters to grow up
00:18:37
Speaker
and feel like this is something that they should be ashamed of. I mean, we're 50% of the population. We should be able to talk about this. And people should give us some grace when we're in the middle of it at our highest points. So my biggest piece of advice is to communicate that maybe this is what's going on. Talk to your experts, your functional doctors, your medicinal doctors, whatever they are.
00:19:04
Speaker
your friends, right? We are each other's best support system, right? When I told my friends last week about this, it was amazing what some of them said in terms of tips that weren't my own tips, right? And so communication is really important. And talking to our partners is really the key because they're the ones living, they're experiencing it with us day in and day out. So
00:19:29
Speaker
having an open line of communication about
Misdiagnoses and Hormone Assessments
00:19:31
Speaker
that. And, you know, at my age, the men are still sort of in between the last generation and this generation. And so it's still an uncomfortable space. Thankfully, Steve, I can talk to him about anything, right? And so that is great, as you know, Lauren and Megan.
00:19:50
Speaker
Anyways, I think communication is really key. Yeah. All the different facets of this. So yes, I love that answer. And that's such a good point too. Especially the people that are under our roof with us that are living, going through it with us. Yeah.
00:20:06
Speaker
for them to just have a better awareness and understanding. And like you said, to offer grace, because we are all going through it and it's unavoidable, so. And we've made it a joke a little bit. And I know some of my friends have done this with the kids, right? Because you all are going to have your kids potentially at home when you're going through this. And it's a joke. We blame every, you know, like my friend Chris is like, we blame everything on it, on breathing.
00:20:33
Speaker
right? Yes. It's so funny. It's a great excuse, right? Yes, yes. It's kind of like pregnancy brain when you have newborn. It's very much like pregnancy brain, which Kristen, I'm guessing you and Megan are probably the closest to, but you know, you just, you know, we're like, wait a minute, why can't I find that thought or that word or that idea in the brain?
00:20:56
Speaker
and pull it easily, right? But it will get better, I promise you, so. Yeah. Well, and another thing that I was reading a lot was just to at least have the awareness that a lot of women out there are getting misdiagnosed and when they're going to their OBs or some doctors that aren't kind of up to speed on all of this. And so they might be going in for
00:21:24
Speaker
what they think is adult onset ADD or ADHD. And so they're getting put on, you know, medicine for that. And some of these other symptoms where they're kind of addressing that symptom, which might, you know, I think might be, might be the right go, but I think a lot of people, a lot of women aren't considering that this could be a symptom of
Thriving Post-Menopause
00:21:47
Speaker
this. And so maybe to take a step back,
00:21:49
Speaker
get the hormones tested, get the blood panels done and just make sure that you're covering your basis and then maybe making a decision from there. The weight gain is the part that I think is the most associated with shame because you have no control over it and it's happening and you're like, what is happening right now, right? And you know, our society and how it is. And so, but our hormones have to get into balance before we can do anything about that, Wayne.
00:22:19
Speaker
is what I've been told, right? And so it's just fighting an uphill battle until our hormones settle. So now that I'm on this side of it, I'm hoping that happens and then be able to do something about that, right? But that's the part, right? And I would say survival is key. It's just like when you have newborns, right?
00:22:41
Speaker
Yes, getting through that first few months until they're sleeping through the night is key. It's a longer period of time for this, but I feel like it was sort of key. So well, and so what I've heard you say is like communication and also community. You have a group of great women that surround you. And I think just having that during this period is so important to not feel alone. And so I think our overall goal is just we want to be a part of changing the narrative around this topic and
00:23:11
Speaker
taking it from talking about an irritable midlife, you know, woman who is sweating and gaining weight and into talking about how we can thrive in life with our mental, physical, spiritual and hormonal life. And so we just appreciate you so much for coming on and helping us to start this conversation and maybe down the road we will bring on
00:23:37
Speaker
a doctor specialist just to enlighten us even more on some of the science and, you know, statistics and stuff. But, um, Well, I was going to say when I was talking to a friend yesterday, she was like, so excited. We're.
00:23:51
Speaker
just going to have this conversation because she was like, yeah, I don't hear anybody talking about menopause. And it's funny you said 1986 because that's the year I was born. So I feel like it's, I'm grateful to be able to have this conversation now. And yeah, I just feel like our parents' generation didn't really talk about it or understand it.
00:24:11
Speaker
And so I don't know, I feel like we're all like, we're going to talk about it. We're going to talk about things, whether you like it or not. Yeah. So I'm into it and I'm into figuring out how do I set myself up for success before all this crazy stuff starts happening to me. Yeah. I know. I'll say that I feel
00:24:34
Speaker
great on this side of things. This concept of thriving, right? It's a combination of age and where I am in life and all of it, right? But you can definitely get there.
00:24:47
Speaker
there's something I think that, and I have to study the science behind this, and so I think it would be great if you guys actually had experts and doctors and scientists who know so much more than we do, right? But I feel like that this is a phase of life when you look at, you know, our whole lifespans where we're supposed to be sort of slowing down a bit more
00:25:12
Speaker
being outside in nature more, saying yes to only what we want to and no to what we don't want to, and allowing ourselves time to just be right. And, and it's different for us in our phase of life because of the way the world is, that we're still going, going, going. And I don't, there's, I'm still going, going, going also. But I just find that
00:25:35
Speaker
I need to be, to slow down in other parts of my life more than I ever needed to when I was younger. And I actually enjoy and love that, right? So, yeah. And to your point about just being aware of your body and women are intuitively that way. But to your point, I think that a lot of times in order to fully
00:26:01
Speaker
listen to our body, we do have to quiet the noise and slow down some naturally.
Resources and Closing Thoughts
00:26:06
Speaker
So I love that. Well, Andrew, is there any other, I'm going to share the two doctors that I want our followers to go search up and I'm going to continue to follow them as well. They give so many great tips. And like I said, over the past couple of months, I have enjoyed following them. One is in the U S and one is from the UK.
00:26:26
Speaker
And interestingly enough, the one in the UK is kind of the go to for that part of the world. However, I saw on the Instagram that the US doctor follows the UK one. So it's all, it's like all this world is connected, you know, is what it looks like. So, but Andrew, do we forget anything or is there anything else that you want to share?
00:26:50
Speaker
No, I just think some of the tips, you know, we talked all about going to doctors and what you can do with them, but some of the practical everyday tips, you know, fans are your friend. Lowering the temperature of your house if you're capable and have the ability to do that is your friend. A lot of my friends use magnesium for sleep or melatonin. We drink, we find drinking less helps.
00:27:16
Speaker
Yes. And sugary things make things worse. I would wake up in the middle of the night in the wintertime and literally go outside to cool down and run my wrists under cold water for a minute because that really made a big difference and it would allow me to reset and kind of go back to sleep. You know there's lots of things like that but
00:27:37
Speaker
you know, and moving like exercise and moving is really, really important. Yes. You know, ice baths are such a big thing right now. And I love cryotherapy. I don't like to get in cold water, but I do cryo. I wonder if that would help because I know it helps with inflammation. But I'm sure it wouldn't hurt. Yeah.
00:27:56
Speaker
I think it would be amazing that even you saying that makes me want to go do it right now. I know. Yeah, I did. There's a place I used to go to in Virginia and you'll have to send it. Yeah, I have to send it to you.
00:28:08
Speaker
Okay. So I have to share, this is a bit crude, but one of my friends and I won't mention names cause she asked me not to, but just another symptom that I don't know if this is, she can't be alone. Let's just say that. But another symptom that we didn't mention is she had an itchy butthole and like to an extreme, like she was like, and she's a very sanitary person.
00:28:32
Speaker
I just, I just, I'm like, how do you know that was menopause related though? She was, her doctors told her cause it wouldn't go away. And so, yeah. So she was like, that is one where I, she was like, you're the third person that I've ever told. And you're the last also. And she was like, but she was like, they, the doctor told me that, yep, that's, that's a symptom listed and sorry girl, but yeah. So crazy.
00:29:00
Speaker
It's just never ending, right? Like why aging is mean. It takes courage to grow old is what I always say. Somebody said that to me once and I'm like, that is so wise. That is so funny. Ironically, Andrew, my Bible study starts next week.
00:29:21
Speaker
And the book, the book is called courage. So there you go. Here we go. Okay. Well, listeners get your notes out on your phone or grab a pen and paper and write these two names down in the US. Dr. Mary Claire Haver, Dr. Mary Claire Haver.
00:29:42
Speaker
And you can find her on Instagram. She puts out so many informational videos that I have found just so helpful. And then the second doctor is out of the UK and her name is Dr. Louise, L-O-U-I-S-E, Newson, N-E-W-S-O-N. And I highly recommend giving them a follow or
00:30:03
Speaker
just searching them up. And then I mentioned the statistics earlier from a book called The Body Whispers Before It Screams. And I haven't read it myself, but oh, did you buy it, Andrew? Awesome. I read it before today. Yeah. Okay. Do you recommend it?
00:30:20
Speaker
I do. Okay. So those are just a few resources that we found in our research. And like we said, we're going to keep, or I'm going to keep digging into this subject because I want to be fully equipped and I'm sure you do too. So we just thank you so much, Andrew, for getting this conversation started with us and being on the pod. You're welcome. It was a pleasure and an honor to be here. Thank you for having me. Yes. Anytime.
00:30:47
Speaker
Yes. Do you want to close this in prayer, Megan? Oh, sure. Okay. Thank you, Jesus, for Andrew. Thank you for bringing her into Lauren's life and into ours. Thank you for her just kind heart and sweet spirit and just, she's so much fun and I just appreciate her.
00:31:04
Speaker
I just pray that anybody listening who is experiencing these symptoms, that you just envelop them with your peace along with all of the practical things that they can do. I just pray that they search for you and the calmness and peace that you can find in this world. I pray that they search for that. And thank you so much for this time together. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Amen.
00:31:31
Speaker
All right. Thank y'all listeners. Thanks for being with us. Thank you. Thank you for listening to another week of girl I slept in my makeup. If you like us, rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you want to learn more about us or get in touch with us, go to our website, girl, I slept in my makeup.com.
00:31:55
Speaker
where you'll also find links to our Instagram and Facebook. Thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate it and make it a great week. God bless.