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Club Chat: Self-Care
186 Plays7 months ago
Self-care? What is that? In this Club Chat Emma and I discuss what it is, what it can look like, and why it is so important for us all. We also share some ways for how to do it better! Because let's face it, we all need it!
Join in the conversation in our next Club Chat on Instagram @fivehourclub
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Transcript
Introductions and Podcast Overview
00:00:09
Speaker
Hi I'm Amy and I'm Emma and this is the Five Hour Club Podcast where we navigate life between the school runs.
00:00:19
Speaker
Hello, hello. Hello. And should we say Happy New Year? I feel like this is the first one back since...
Reflecting on the Holiday Transition
00:00:25
Speaker
Yes. Since it's 2025. Happy New Year. Happy 2025. To be honest, I feel like I've just woken up in this new year for what are we on day 15. And I feel like it's taking me this long to get over Christmas.
00:00:40
Speaker
ah And to get my head in the game, I was knackered. Do you know what? I think just, you know, I always look look forward to our club chat, but I think this is going to be a really interesting one in particular. um We had very different experiences of Christmas.
00:00:58
Speaker
coming out of it. I think yours was pretty typical of any parent and I came out of it going, guys, I've found the answer. I have found a solution to an easier Christmas. So tell us about, yeah, tell us about your Christmas and then how you're feeling and and way why you're still recovering.
00:01:21
Speaker
Honestly, it was a bit of a blur. I look back now and I'm like, what did we even do? Why am I so tired? and i And I think it was that we were doing a lot, but doing a lot of nothing and seeing a lot of people and just chaos and mess constantly. We hosted a few times. I don't think that helped.
Christmas Experiences: Chaos and Calm
00:01:36
Speaker
And the boys are obviously just, you know, crazy the few days before, literally spinning around in circles. And then afterwards, there's just mania going on. so It was just, ah it was just a lot. It was just full on. We didn't do anything in particular. I really try my best to say no to things and to chill out and to not go. But actually for me, I mean, I'm a Christmas person and I really, I really found it hard this year. I don't know what it was. I just felt a bit down. I i looked a little bit different. I don't know if it was just felt like a lot. So I just just needed to get through it and we got through it.
00:02:11
Speaker
And we're on the other side. I'm just still, we only just put the last few Christmas bits away. And I feel like now I can finally get over it and go with it.
00:02:23
Speaker
yeah What about you? What was the what's the trick? Would I need to do next better next year? Yeah. Do you know what? We were in a pretty privileged position. i I do appreciate that, but I don't know if I've mentioned before, but I've made the decision that every Christmas we're just going to do it in our own way, but we kind of can do that. So this Christmas we rented like a big house. I do have a big family and we do this, you know, quite rarely, but when we do it, it's a great Christmas.
00:02:52
Speaker
So we rented it. There was like 13 of us with my family and myself, Chris and the boys, um, in a lovely house on a farm. So it was like a proper holiday, but it is that we are staying with a village. So I got a break from cooking and cleaning, but when I cooked, it was actually nice because the boys were busy. And I mean, don't get me wrong, like obviously they're stressful bits, but it just take a massive load off because I, I, that's That's all wanted. I just wanted a break from the mental load. I wanted a break from cooking and cleaning. and And because no one was particularly hosting, because we took it in turns, that's the key. So when I came back and, you know, I was doing the school run and I was like, guys, I find the answer. Like I'm feeling
The Importance of Taking Breaks
00:03:40
Speaker
rested. And that was the other thing. Like I actually shut off. I didn't realize until I was on holiday,
00:03:46
Speaker
Number one, how much I needed a holiday. I really didn't realize. And you know me, like I find it very hard to switch off at the best of times. But having had that holiday, but you're like, Oh, don't go on holiday. again i like but i brightly And I was like, what has she been cooking? This is like, who am I here? Cause I got you.
00:04:09
Speaker
You know I actually could I did get you to sit down and like read a book and play games with my family and and just have that bit of self care which surprisingly oh we actually do so that was so that was the thing so I think because.
00:04:27
Speaker
I had the holiday day came back and I was like, Oh, I can actually switch off and I can do that. And that is really important. And and I'm going to do that. I took a break from screen times. I took a break from social media and that was massive. Taking a break from that. I was like, Oh yeah, taking a break from that. Very important.
00:04:42
Speaker
and And really mostly coming away was like, oh, we do need a holiday and we have you know holidays, obligatory holidays for a reason and it massively helps in every way, shape or form. And I'm stating the obvious, but sometimes it's hard to remember that when you're bottom of the pile. So I'm sorry to everyone else, to 99% of the parents, because I know that Christmas is, it's hard. It's a struggle. It's like trying to get, you know, it's not a holiday, but for those of you who can do a holiday, I highly recommend it.
00:05:12
Speaker
All right, good to know for next year. I'm going to Airbnb it when we get off this chat and see what's available already, I think. then, so shall we get into our first club chat with
Exploring Self-Care Concepts
00:05:33
Speaker
the new year?
00:05:33
Speaker
And we chose this one because we thought everybody might need it, might need a minder of what this actually is. And our topic is self-care. Yeah, yeah right like what a load of BS.
00:05:51
Speaker
No, obviously, there's so much to talk about here. But it's just like that, that concept of self-care and kind of what it's portrayed as. You're like, oh, feck off. We don't have time for that. But actually, it is the most important thing. It really is. So I think i think we need to start off by actually defining what we call self-care. yeah Because I think there are quite a few different definitions out there. And actually, without choosing the right one, you might not get what you need, and then yet you struggle because of it. So what is self-care to you? m Yeah, really good question. I would say, number one, very simple. It is something that fills your cup. There are so many things in the day that takes away your energy. So very simply, something that gives you a little bit of energy. And actually, it doesn't matter what it is. Like it's completely,
00:06:48
Speaker
dependent on you because if you're an introvert or an extrovert like you know it's going to depend like other people are going to give you energy what i realized something that fills my cup actually is organizing stuff or gardening you know there it's it's got to be particular for you and it doesn't have to be massive it can be 10 minutes you know um so i think yeah something that fills your cup that's my definition what about you That is a really great definition because I went down there, what is it not? And I thought, oh, yeah, yeah, having a shower or a bath or, you know, tidying clean the house. Although I like to take a long bath as part of myself care at some points, but it's not those sort of routine things that can necessity thing that you need to do every day. Like I remember, I think this is particularly important for when you have tiny babies to remember that Just because you only have time for a shower, that is not enough. That is not yourself care for the day, the week. It needs to be more than that. It needs to be something that fills you up, that gives you a bit of energy, that gives you a break from all of those other things that you're doing. And yeah, it is different for everybody, but it is definitely not those basic things that you need as a human being. So I think if we can remember that, because I was very bad at remembering that, particularly when they were young.
00:08:12
Speaker
Right, so I asked our audience a few questions on this actually and I asked them then, what do they do for you? and What do they and do for themselves as part of self-care? And like you say, it was really varied, the response on that. So we had lots of people who took morning walks, lunchtime walks, bit of yoga, gym, somebody did massages, which I know is always on our list. Solo puppies were on there. um Then you had somebody who knits and crochets, which is really sweet. I love that. I'd love to have a hobby which I actually could stick to and enjoy and go for something back.
00:08:47
Speaker
and And somebody said dance, which I, I would have a little dance around the kitchen, but the boys are there. So I don't know if it counts, but you know, have a little dance boo, get your favorite music. We had somebody who likes a boozy lunch with the girls. I can see that too. And he had people who were like, nothing, no, no. You know, like really couldn't think of anything, which I think is a bit of a shame. So yeah, what about you? You said gardening is one of your things that you do for self care.
00:09:17
Speaker
Yeah, gary I think for me, number one, movement. Like movement, exercise, it really makes um a dramatic difference, not just even on that day, but even on a, let's say, quote unquote, rest day. It really makes a massive difference to my mental wellbeing. um So I say, movement number one, ah gardening, like it's such a massive one, because I i love,
00:09:46
Speaker
being productive like I just do and I love a project. And my back garden is a project. And and there's just something really therapeutic about gardening. I'm outside, it's the incredibly low intensity ah exercise, except for my back garden, that's pretty high energy exercise.
00:10:05
Speaker
but it's being outside in nature. For me, like, I think, ah yeah, being outside in nature, gardening, give me anything gardening. Oh my God, that's my number one thing, movement. And yeah, like, I, would you classify seeing your friends as self-care? Cause I don't know if I do. I think it's pretty vital. That's like. Oh, that's a good question. maybe she has the act I would say it depends because I think so. I think it is. I think for me, like I know I get lots of energy from seeing my friends and seeing people, but I don't need that all the time. So I don't need to see people agree, you know, go out and see people every week or go for a coffee with somebody every week. I like it, but I don't have to do it. Whereas the other self care things I have, like I feel like I have to do each week. Otherwise I really miss it. So what do you have to do then?
00:11:03
Speaker
For me, so i how my sort of self-care is proportioned out is that I get ah roughly about an hour but for me in the morning each day, which sounds like a lot. But actually, I have to you know shower and do all of those things in that time. So I like to do i like to vary my self-care. So I like to be active. I like to exercise. I don't do a lot of it. So I might go for a 15-minute walk or run jog around the block.
00:11:29
Speaker
I might, I'd like to now dip in the water in the sea, which is for me, something I need every week just to, it really brings my anxiety down, the swim and the sea. It's like this whole new thing, this whole new world that I've opened up that I now notice if I don't do it in a week. I like to do a bit of yoga, hot yoga.
00:11:47
Speaker
But for me, it's that movement ex exercise. I used to exc exercise a lot when I was younger, pre-kids, and I really get a lot from that. And I really notice if I don't do that thing. So you know maybe that's part of
Personal Self-Care Routines
00:12:00
Speaker
the Christmas problem is that I didn't really exc exercise or go out and do anything like that. And I just noticed my energy levels were down, my anxiety was high, I was irritable. And I think it has been out in that fresh air too. like I prefer to do it out in the fresh air if I can.
00:12:15
Speaker
I do it a weekly gym circuit session, but only because I get a free pass of my husband's gym pass. So I take advantage of that and that's my early morning session. But if I didn't have that, I wouldn't bother going to the gym. I'm not a a gym person. I need a class. Like I can't just go to the gym when I'm on a treadmill.
00:12:35
Speaker
Um, I tried it. I can't do it. No. Yeah. It's only about being inside as well. I feel like, I don't know. I feel I like to go to the gym to people watch more than i do ahies maybe you are. so Do you know what? I think you're such a great advocate and role model for knowing that you can have that self care and it can only take, it it doesn't need to take like hours. It can be 10, 15 minutes, but you amazing. Like, I can't, like you've come so far from not being able to go.
00:13:10
Speaker
swimming in the sea to go swimming and see in January. I still can't get over this. It's absolutely incredible. So that's amazing. Um, but yeah, I love your videos and Instagram, so you know, sometimes again, just take that 10 minutes and it is a reminder. It really does make a difference, but It really does. And I think, and like I say, it is different for everybody. Ours is even very different, but it's just knowing what, and it took me a really long time, post-kids. yes One, realize how important it is. yeah You carve out that time properly. We'll get on to that later about how you do that. But it just, I think if you don't do it, that's where you sort of spiral into the wrong direction. Oh my God, 100%. Yeah.
00:13:51
Speaker
Like it takes far too long. took It definitely took me far too long to understand. Honestly, only recently. ah Like in the last couple of months, um ah like really has have I realized if we don't prioritise ourselves, doesn't mean we're being selfish. Because if we prioritise ourselves, we know that we're going to be less anxious and more happy and be more present for our families.
00:14:20
Speaker
so but it's so hard to get past that fixed mindset isn't it of oh i don't deserve 10 minutes i don't have 10 minutes of course you do and you know i've got some ideas about that later because it's it's shocking actually how we make so many excuses to not look after ourselves when it's so important because what happened to me was I just kept getting sick like really sick for a long time and not being able to recover and I do think it's part of that um and and once you have the processes in place it can be done anyway I'm shitting on like I do so did you ask any other questions I'm curious yes so the other thing I said was
00:15:04
Speaker
do you get enough self-care? And the percentage is quite shocking. It's not shocking. I can i get this. But 75% of our parents said, no, they do not get enough self-care each week.
00:15:18
Speaker
Yeah. I'm not surprising though. Not surprising, right? Like we, we know you always put something else first and only 4% said that they do. 22% said sometimes, which I'm probably in the sometimes bracket, depending on what else is going on. But again, it's kind of.
00:15:35
Speaker
It's that reprioritizing, right? As soon as something else comes into the mix, you deprioritize yourself. And then you go to the bottom of the pile and then it builds up and it's very easy and quick to get out of the habit, isn't it? So yeah, yeah so shock. Yeah. So 75% of us don't get the self care we need. And I would love to know like for you, like how much.
00:15:56
Speaker
self-care is enough for a week. Like, what would you say is a good week for you? Yeah, again, it's so personal, isn't it? I'll tell you what, right, last week, you know, or the last five days, I've had the flu, I've been grateful. one But before that, the week coming back after Christmas, I was like, I'm going to just be really strict on myself. And I'm going to take that time that my brain shuts down from like four to half four. And I'm going to go out into the back garden. And that made the world of a difference.
00:16:31
Speaker
so i know that half So for me, that was like three days a week, let's say half an hour. That really did make a difference. So I think for me, if I can carve out half an hour in a day, that's incredible.
00:16:45
Speaker
and I could try, i'm ah what I'm doing is I'm being really aware of it and I'm doing it as an experiment and I'm going to try this half an hour and I'm going to reevaluate in a week's time to see if that worked or not. So I'm being really systematic about this, I'm being really nerdy about this and because I know that there's a lot of psychology and also it's it's trying a new habit and it's trying something that you want to stick so you've got to start out small. um So that's my plan and I find I'm very grateful to have that half an hour but
00:17:23
Speaker
um there's ways around it and there's ways that you can plot it in, which we can talk about later. How about you? Like, how much do you need?
Time Management for Self-Care
00:17:30
Speaker
Yeah, like, as long as I can get a 15 or 20 minute exercise, like, that when I say that, that's like really intense exercise, right? Like, if I can do something where it's quite, you know, high energy or, you know, either, you know, or I can, but that's plenty. If I get that, I'm happy. Obviously more, if I do, but I'm, I, that's enough for me. I can, I can run on that.
00:17:57
Speaker
why people don't then get their self-care that they need. And we've talked about it already, but there's things on the list. The biggest one that blocks people is time, the lack of time. yeah um So, and prioritizing it and, you know, it's the mental load, the exhaustion, all the other things that you need to get done.
00:18:19
Speaker
not having control about routine, you know, random sick days or inset days or things that just throw you off routine. You know, some people out there who've got single parents who, you know, struggling to maintain a thing every day on their own and not having somebody to tag out with to go and do that for themselves. So the lack of childcare doesn't help. So that all of these things that just stop us in our tracks and stop giving us mainly that time to go and do those things. Yeah.
00:18:47
Speaker
So that was the biggest blocker, which I get as soon as anything else comes into play. I use my time in different ways. Like I just reprioritize and think, Oh, actually I need to get that done for school this morning. So I'm going to quickly do that before I do my exercise. And that's where I've, I have recently changed how I do things to make sure that I always put the self care first yeah and then do all the other jobs. Cause if you do the other jobs first,
00:19:13
Speaker
then it's up into your time. Whereas if you do yourself, go fast and the other jobs can probably be done quicker, but it's just about changing the way you do things. But yeah, it's always gonna be, there's just not enough time to do everything. And especially when you work in a 40 hour week, you've got your kids at the end of the day, at the weekends, like when are you gonna fit all this in? And like we said, you've carved out time because you can, because you're working essentially a five hour work day. But for those who are, like where is the time?
00:19:40
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's that's the question. We're we're looking. And and it's so it's so relatable, like that. yeah If it's just 15 minutes, you're like, oh, well, I really need to to to do this. But actually, if you reprioritize and rethink that this is my non-negotiable and you stick with it and you treat it as a habit, you know, you start small, treat it as a habit and and prioritize that over the time just runs away with you. It's so scary how quickly time can run away with you, especially if you're on your phone.
00:20:18
Speaker
because you know you go to check an email and then you get a an email from the school and then you need to check your calendar and blah blah and then you're like well that's half maragon. Yeah exactly and you could have been doing some exercise or whatever you know out in the garden at that time but I know I agree so if I pick up my phone first thing in the morning that's it like it eats into my tongue straight away I will say I have a massive bugbear right you know when that you see on Instagram people be like how how do you do it and then you'll have people saying well I get up at five o'clock in the morning, yeah like before the kids. And I'm like, if you can do that.
00:20:54
Speaker
I hold my hands up and I'm like, well done, yay. At the moment, I'm getting up a little bit before the kids, but it's a normal time. Do you mean it's like six o'clock to go to the gym that one day a week? Because I'm like, right, that's the only time I have. But that's only because they're sleeping in. Like normally they'll be up at half five, six anyway. So I can't, you know, I'm not going to get up at five o'clock in the morning just to go and do exercise. Now I do get some people, that's how people work and I am a morning person and I,
00:21:20
Speaker
maybe you would have done that you know pre-kids but i need that extra sleep there's no way that i'm going to set my alarm separately so i can go and do you know but it's hard on it but i'm just i can't i can't add that to my life let's just add in more to your list of things to do i know i know be self-occurring should not be added to your list right i feel like you know you just have to take something else away that maybe you know you don't need to do I don't know yeah that's it like and we're all so different like some of us do need more sleep than others I'm putting my hands up here so what's the point of like and again this absolutely could work for people and does work for people even getting up like 15 minutes before and hats off to you
00:22:02
Speaker
One day, I'd like to be that person. One day, today is not that day. Because I do need that sleep. Because then, what's the point of having that 15 minutes of self-care? We're like, I really needed that sleep. That's a pain. You're waking up in the night, right? How are you going to like, that's why I just can't do it. If they're still waking up while they're in my bed, I'm like, I just need that extra 15 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The peace and quiet before they get up, before the storm hits, great.
00:22:28
Speaker
but you've got to look at your phase of life like you remember so you're saying earlier like it's so easy to kind of push the self-care to the second this reminded me when I was on to my second child I remember actually to be honest like when my oldest was a newborn he was always on me so it was difficult to like tidy and do those bits and actually he didn't really nap for two hours he'd nap for like 30 minutes so it was quite quite rough but i remember my second child he would go down for a nap for two hours and i remember after a while i was like
00:23:04
Speaker
You know, I would think, okay, I'm going to use my first hour and a half till like tidy and blah, blah, blah. And then i'll I'll be able to sit down, but then sometimes it would be cut short. And I remember very quickly onto it. I was like, well, screw that. I'm sitting down for half an hour with a cup of tea and then I'll do some tidying. So my, I think I got it right that time.
00:23:24
Speaker
Yeah no that's fair enough you're right it feels like you've got all this time and they have a nap if they nap and but yeah you've got to switch it round there's no way you should do the tardium first yeah yeah yeah but you've got you've got to learn um the hard way yeah you've got it you've got to learn the hard way but the time you know what right so as a next teacher we know how hard it is and we know how hard it is working full time being on site time is so limited so i'd love to be able to think better a way to to um
00:23:57
Speaker
hard about more time to remember that a little is still really beneficial. And also it has that compound effect, doesn't it? Because you're adding up. Like if you think about 10 minutes a day, it's really nothing. Well, that's 70 minutes of something that fills your cup in a week. And if you think about how many I'd minutes are in a week, haven't done the maths, not going to love to do the maths. It's a lot of minutes. be able to think about a You know, that's still way not to a lot of time in the grand scheme of things, isn't it?
00:24:30
Speaker
Right, should we give some tips then? Well, not I don't really have tips, but but some ways we think we can help with this 75% who don't get enough self by time in the week. What would you say is your biggest game changer for you in terms of getting more self-care. Okay, I'd say there's a few key things.
Incorporating Self-Care into Daily Life
00:24:50
Speaker
Now, the first thing is, this is my teacher ah student, eternal student thing here, but I find this, this is a really interesting activity. You get a pen and paper, old school, pretend like, do you remember when you were studying? Did you ever do this? And you would write down and you'd make your own like timetable exactly for studying, right? There we go.
00:25:10
Speaker
so you get your pen and paper and you write down so when you wake up so like from seven to eight eight to nine nine to ten okay all the way down so each row is like let's say an hour and you break it down and you and you literally just like you could do this for the week or just do it for a day and just map out okay so when do you work When do you do the school runs? When do you do the bedtime? So what is left over? Like, and and the reason why I did this was I was trying to figure out like, when am I going to do my exercise? So I realized I actually like to do a kind of a working lunch, but I'm going to exercise during that time. So that, that's kind of when I figured, because I'm, because quite frankly, I don't want to get up early in the morning and that was, and I'm not going to do it any later than that.
00:25:56
Speaker
I felt that was a ah really good eye-opening activity to make me realize absolutely our time is blocked out with everything else and time is limited and what's going to happen to that time if we don't protect it and keyword boundary it We're going to gobble it up on our screens. Like honestly, that's where our time is going to go. And that's the time energy waster because I don't know about you. I don't know about you, but like going, you know, like really, it's not good for us in the grand scheme of things. I know obviously social medias, there's so many positive things out there, but.
00:26:34
Speaker
There are some negative, we don't have control necessarily over what we see all the time. So basically what I'm saying is be all skill prepared like you're planning. Cause this is so important. Like this is your time and it's the most, one of the most valuable assets. So have a look, evaluate where do you have some time that you can schedule in for you, then make it a non-negotiable, whatever it is. Think about what fills your cup and make that a non-negotiable.
00:27:02
Speaker
And then if you're really nerdy like me, think about like in terms of it's going to be a psychological habit. So one of my favorite books is atomic habits by James c Clear. Oh my God, it's so good. And it's all about instigating new habits because that's what it is as well. Um, and so I would say, and be kind to yourself, start with 10 minutes and actually why not treat it like an experiment? So try it out for a week.
00:27:26
Speaker
say you know what I'm going to try 10 minutes and at this particular time of day and try it and then at the end of the week think about how that went. What's going to be difficult is when life throws a spanner in the works because it always does is then reminding yourself how you felt after that time and then going back to that and the only reason I say all of this this is all based on personal experience because I'm going through an experiment and honestly it's making the world of a difference so far. but and That's a really good idea actually and I i haven't written it mine down but actually if I if i look at it and we've got quite a strict schedule because we have to in my husband's work and I think
00:28:08
Speaker
actually when you break it down you can quite clearly see you where the caps are and actually where there is no wiggle room and um I really like and I really like Atomic Habits too for that idea of habit stacking so yeah if you know that you have your lunch say at 12 o'clock and at you know at 12 30 when you finish your lunch then you go and do your ex exercise and you're already dressed in your gym gear or whatever it is like or like for me I get up and I put my gym stuff on first thing in the morning. So then I am ready to go. So as soon as those boys leave for the school run, lucky my husband takes them, I then go and do my exercise. And then it's sort of.
00:28:43
Speaker
it stacks it onto something else that's already happening. So it's really hard then, you have to really almost make a conscious effort to stop doing it, then to go and do it. And I, for me, it was when I started doing that and putting it first was the first thing that I did and prioritizing it before I did put a load of washing on or before I tidied up a bit or before I you know went on my phone to check an email, I did that first.
00:29:07
Speaker
And then I really noticed if I didn't do that. And I really, it made me almost feel guilty for not doing it for myself. And I really noticed those times when I haven't done that bit of exercise or I haven't gone to that class or something because it's that gap then. That gap is then being filled with rubbish and your cup is not filled and you feel completely different. So I think having those things, like you say, and boundaries is such a key thing to just protect that time.
Setting Boundaries for Well-being
00:29:31
Speaker
And I read something yesterday, which I loved, which is to say that Having a boundary is not a sign of selfishness, but it's a sign of respect for yourself. yes And think Jodie Pickle, an author. And I was like, that's so true, isn't it? Because if you don't respect your own time, then you're not going to be that mom, that person that you want to be um around your family. So I think it's really important to do that for yourself. And then from it too, from being honestly over Christmas, I was irritable. But I guess so yeah know I didn't get my time. so
00:30:03
Speaker
it's completely understandable isn't it it's just that i just feel like so many of us are just in a constant state of overwhelm but if we've got these really kind of simple processes essentially what we're doing is is we're just kind of treating let's say you've got a business okay you've got a set of processes that make a business work you've got a household you've got a set of processes that govern a household we're doing the same with our lifestyles and ultimately what we're doing is we're just protecting a us and making sure that we're healthy and happy so hard because i kind of feel like the system is against us which it is and but it's nice to know that there are kind of relatively simple things that we can do
00:30:47
Speaker
to help us, but I think just just when I hear the word self-care, it's just obviously like self-care and wellbeing, you know. It's always the bottom of the list, right? It's always the bottom of the pile. You don't put that first because you feel selfish or guilty or, you know, I don't know about you, but if I ever get like a free day, very rarely, or free mornings, say, when the boys are going to hockey and swimming or whatever, right?
00:31:10
Speaker
The first thing I do is look around my house and think, as a house I need to do sort the house out. I need to tidy this up. I know it will make me feel better, but really what I should do is write, what can I do for myself? i I should go for a coffee with a friend, or I should go to a yoga class, or I could sit down for five minutes. I did that actually over Christmas. The boys went out, I think it was 12, 14 days in or something, and they went out. And I did have to tidy up. It was New Year actually, so I did have to tidy up, but I just sat there.
00:31:35
Speaker
like a zombie for half an hour and just stared into space and quiet. And I felt so much better for that. Even though I didn't do anything, just stopping for a minute, or you know, breathing, self-care, breathing, to staring into space like a zombie. But the thing is, you know, what I feel also massively helps. It's kind of like it does link into what we were saying earlier.
00:32:00
Speaker
but like scheduling it in.
Scheduling Self-Care as a Priority
00:32:03
Speaker
Cause if you schedule it in, it's probably gonna decrease the likelihood that you're gonna feel guilty about it. Cause you're like, wait, that's half an hour. It's in the diary, sorry. I've been scheduled in half an hour to stare into space like a zombie and do some breathing. Sorry.
00:32:19
Speaker
that milk but You know, I have to do like a class. I can't just be like, Oh, I'm going to go to the gym. We're going to go for a run. Cause I am, yeah I'm better off if I've got like a thing to do or people to meet or, you know, like a bit more accountable. Cause I'm the only one accountable. I'm like, nah, exactly. Do something else. So yeah, I agree. Wow.
00:32:40
Speaker
I think that's a good way to ah to finish on our attempt at helping us all have a bit more self-care this January. I know. I thought I was going to report back on your experiment, Em, on, you know, how he gets on. on maybe I know, so this is the thing, is it's going to make me accountable because we all know, like, I'm a massive joint hypocrite.
00:33:00
Speaker
because I do not look after myself but that's why I'm so aware and I'm trying to use the psychology and any tools in my bag because if I can absolutely not not look after myself I will but I do know how important it is. So yeah, I'll report back. All right, please let us know. And good luck to anybody who's tried anything new or is, the other thing I like to do is just, just don't worry about it. If you just don't feel bad about it, just do a bit more than you were doing before. That's what I did with the swim, right? I started, I didn't even start last year. It was like, I don't know, June. And I started dipping my toes in the water. I was like, yeah, I'd quite like to go in there a bit more. And I just did more of it. And just slowly, over time,
00:33:40
Speaker
and now I'm, you know, plunging myself in every week. So it's just about not feeling guilty about, you know, setting a goal and not doing it. Just do as much, as little as you want and don't forget about it. You're giving it a go and, you know, one day you might go the whole hog. So yeah, good luck to anybody who's given it a go. Let us know how you get on. And if you've got any more tips or tricks about how to actually give yourself some self-care. Definitely. We need all the help we can get.
00:34:08
Speaker
All right. Take care. Bye bye. Bye.