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Ep 47 - Sheba and Priya Sehgal share a coffee
93 Plays3 years ago
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Role Reversal
00:00:02
Speaker
I'm delighted to have you in the podcast where all stories are welcome and the masks come off.
00:00:13
Speaker
Hi, Priya. So lovely to see you. And thank you so much for agreeing to have a Soul Brew with me. Welcome to Coffee and Soul. It's good to be here. It's good to catch you on this platform. Yeah. And it's lovely to see you here. You're the one who does all the interviewing. And now it'll be lovely to hear your perspective from as you, Priya. So I'm looking forward to this conversation.
Coffee Ritual Reflections
00:00:35
Speaker
So have you got a cup of coffee ready with you? Yes, I do, Shiva. Here it is. OK. So let me call myself mine.
00:00:43
Speaker
Yeah, I think all the soul brews have the sound of coffee being poured, which is... You know, you can always smell it. Of course, I have the cup in my hand, which just visually makes you... That's a nice visual. Welcome to Soul Brews with Shiba. It's such a joy. Thank you. Bring to a lovely conversation. Yeah, looking forward to it. Cheers. In fact, it's very different for me to be on the other side, you know? Exactly. Yes, exactly. And I'm so happy.
00:01:12
Speaker
that we get to hear your perspective, your thoughts, right, as who you are. So Priya, can I ask you to just hold this cup of coffee in your hands? I hope it's not too hot. And can you just sit back and just relax. Okay. And just close your eyes and relax and let the smells waft and have a sip. Yeah, sure. That is the most important thing. Correct. See if there's anything that comes up for you, any kind of a
00:01:37
Speaker
visual or a feeling or what this brings out as this aromas of coffee.
Stumbling into Journalism
00:01:44
Speaker
You know in COVID days it brings out a nice relaxed conversation with some friends and a gossip, a midnight conversation really because we always end our dinners with a nice cup of coffee. Yeah and so these are conversations over Zoom and stuff like that and
00:01:58
Speaker
No, not pre-COVID days, I'm missing that. Pre-COVID days, yes. And of course, edit meetings since I'm a journalist. Yes, I know, I know, I know. Yeah, it's happy times, isn't it? It's different and happy times, I guess.
00:02:14
Speaker
In a way, yes, it's unusual time, Shiba. I mean, I mean, when you think back, I mean, it's a pre-COVID time, so they think of the coffee. Very happy times. Coffee, there is something about coffee that's got a very positive feel after that. I've not seen a stressed coffee, you know.
00:02:31
Speaker
That's a very interesting way of putting it Priya that stress and coffee really don't kind of go together. It's interesting because usually you need coffee to wake up to perk up but I don't know I think I need coffee to relax also for me it's in the relaxed mode. In the relaxed mode.
00:02:47
Speaker
All right, great. So Priya, tell me a little bit. I mean, as we just spoke about it, you're always on the other end, right? You are the one who's talking to people. You're interviewing and you are setting up conversations and doing a marvelous job at that. I listen to a lot of what you do. But a little bit about you, your life, your journey.
00:03:08
Speaker
What's got you to where you are today? Some of your highs and lows. If you can just take us through that. I see a journalist to talk, Shiva is in very inviting trouble. Anyway, let me take the opportunity and grab it rather.
00:03:22
Speaker
But honestly, for me, journalism was a very happy accident. It wasn't something that I had planned at all. I had done my English honours from St. Stephen's before that I was at Vellum's and I've always been a very laid back sort of person. If you really ask me the name, the president, of course I would, that's an exaggeration. But if you say which
00:03:43
Speaker
political party is the prime minister from or the name the past five presidents, I would be really, I'm not joking, I would be pretty, you know, it was not my area of interest at all. So I had decided that I wanted to go and teach and not teach someone but study, I wanted to study more academics with my field. And I applied for Oxford also, you know, there was a rather Christian scholarship. So I got admission at Oxford. This is why you were at Stevens. Is that what you did? This is after my third year.
00:04:13
Speaker
After my third year, so I had applied. And in fact, not to study English, interestingly to study Latin because someone told me those are the courses that are easier to get in. And once you're inside, you can switch.
Finding Passion in Journalism
00:04:26
Speaker
Otherwise everybody does PPE. I said hello, I did Latin.
00:04:29
Speaker
And I got the admission, but then you have to apply for a scholarship post admission. And in the scholarship, it's very interesting. As I said, you know, I was at Vellum's and our brother's school is the Doon. So one of the guys on the panel was an ex-dosco.
00:04:44
Speaker
And whoever was, you know, we were in the waiting room at India National Centre, whoever was going in and coming out was saying, you know, this guy is really cantankerous and he's very, you know, not cantankerous, but he's asking too many questions. And he's the one to watch out for. So he's wearing a yellow t-shirt. So I went in short enough, there was this guy wearing a yellow t-shirt and asking a lot of questions. So I got really irritated.
00:05:05
Speaker
you know I think I'd blown the interview anyway but I got a bit hostile and you know it's the wrong thing to do in an interview especially when you want something so I blew the interview but very sweetly and interestingly that guy called me he found who my this thing and I got a I think those days there was no mobile phone this is what 1991-19
00:05:25
Speaker
So I don't know how we got in touch, but he got in touch with me and he says, look, I'm sorry. I felt really bad. Is it because of me that I do went because he and I then exchanged a few very acerbic words. So he maybe because of that and come and see me and meet me. And he's a lawyer.
00:05:40
Speaker
So I met him and he said, can I help you with your career? You must apply again next year. What will you do in this year? So I said, I'll do my MA in English because it's part of the course. That's not a problem. So he says fine, but what are you going to do? He said, in the meanwhile, you can work also because MA is, as we all know, it's something that we just do. We don't really.
00:06:00
Speaker
Yeah. So I was anyway, sorry. I think that it was after my first year because I was already in MA and I was working as a copywriter. That's right. Okay. And I was hating my job. I was really hating my job. So he said, why don't you become a journalist? You know, why don't you apply this Sunday magazine? That's in magazine from Calcutta.
Transition to Political Journalism
00:06:16
Speaker
So he's in Vir Sanghvi is there and he's from I think Oxford also and whatever. So you go apply there. So I found out the address. I went to the Delhi office with my application.
00:06:26
Speaker
and Veer Sangvi doesn't sit there but to the local bureau chief every you know in a magazine the head offices can be in Calcutta Chennai wherever but the there's a bureau in Delhi obviously since the capital so the bureau chief took me and he said I'll take you as an intern for one year and that's how it began so when my one year finished I did not even apply again because I was loving my job you know it was amazing I definitely did not want to go back to academics or like so coming in here coming in here what is it that you love about what you do
00:06:54
Speaker
Sure, it's an amazing feeling. You actually paid to gossip. You're paid to have conversations like this. You're paid to get to know people and to sit and have long conversations. Currently, I am in television, but I began as a print journalist. And I don't like this 24 by 7, very hectic. All my life, I've worked in magazines. So I've had a weekly deadline. I don't do daily 24 by 7 reporting. Even in television, I have a weekly show.
00:07:19
Speaker
I don't like that, you know, this breaking news, I don't like what I like is explanatory journalism, you know, you get to the problem, explain it, how it happened, the behind the scenes color, if need be, get to know people have long chats with people and touch with politicians and everybody. These days, I'm doing a lot of reporting on COVID and doctors, people are happy to chat with you to a journalist and you know, they do make time for you. And it's really interesting, you meet all kinds of people. And like I said, it's part of your job.
00:07:47
Speaker
Yes, I think it's amazing and and obviously it's something you took to like fish to water, right? And so transitioning to television, how did that happen? Television was first let me tell you how I began doing politics. I used to cover crime Shiba. Shiba because you know when you begin as a trainee journalist everybody's given the crime beat because that's
Insights on Political Reporting
00:08:07
Speaker
okay.
00:08:08
Speaker
How was that? It was interesting. I interviewed Charles Sobhraj. In fact, I've got some letters from him. And in fact, we were in touch. I went to Nepal also and couldn't meet him. But I met all the people around him and all the people.
00:08:24
Speaker
But from crime, it went to politics because it's, you know, there is the havala scam happened and all these guys were implicated Kamalat, Madhura, Sindhya, Advani. Kamalat was actually my first political contact because through the havala thing, one was chatting with him and then I went into politics. So that's how I.
00:08:42
Speaker
So while you were covering crime, and it was like the politics and crime duo kind of coalesced, and then you went into politics. And since that move into politics, how do you, you know, when you talk about your younger days, and you're saying, you know, this was totally something that you would not do, I mean, you would be so laid back, and now you're so active in political journalism, you know, and hold some very, very interesting roundtables, right? And New York's and New York's, I think that's the program that you run.
00:09:12
Speaker
What has kept you there in the political space and why are you here? I think I'll take a sip of coffee before I answer that question. You know again in politics you begin as a beat reporter you know what happens is you are sent to the party offices so every day you are spending literally you know you go to office for a meeting at 12 o'clock or 11 30 and then you're given a story or whatever and then you have
00:09:34
Speaker
Out on the beat and every day in the old days before all this social media and all the way the people used to communicate, every party office used to have a briefing, BJP hired at 330, Congress used to have it at 430 and so on. So we used to go from party office to party office, hang out there and meet all the leaders.
00:09:52
Speaker
We could actually go into their rooms. I used to be in the field till 7-8 in the evening, go chat with them. After the briefing is over, you go to a Diggory Singh's room or a Margaret Alva, Ambeka Soni. Some were nice, some were grumpy, ditto for BJP that time. It was Arun Jaitley, Brahmod Mahajan, Sushma Swaraj. They were all there, the party officers hanging in their rooms and they would meet us and we would have the long
00:10:15
Speaker
Tea sessions and you know, gossip, tea, conversation. Especially for me because I never had a daily deadline so you could prolong it. So I have known these guys more than I met my own friends. I was meeting the politicians. So you kind of got involved in the whole ecosystem. And then it's interesting to see, you know, events that you talked about the night before, come through the next day, you started predicting. It gave you a big high also, I have to say.
00:10:39
Speaker
especially when you get that scoop and you you know preempt a news or you predict a news you're the first one with an interview those are the good ones absolutely and it must and it must be such a high it must be such a high to be able to do this and also stay with staying with great journalism you know what
00:10:56
Speaker
I remember one of the people that I have interviewed earlier, Neerja Chaudhary. She's brilliant. She's someone I really admire and respect. So she's also related to us. But she had spoken so highly of you, saying that she really enjoys talking to you. So obviously, you're doing something that makes people want to be able to spend that. And I suppose it's that easy manner you have, which is so non-incriminating in the way that you spend. And that's something that I like and I get
00:11:27
Speaker
really inspired by is to see the way that you are speaking with people. There is something, you're not in the way at all, which is a real skill Priya. No, you know, this is a reaction, maybe an unconscious, subconscious reaction to what the honor goes to any kind of journalism, which is in your face, you know,
00:11:47
Speaker
a lot of anchors do it not just ordinal but everybody they interrupt you before you stop finishing and I get impatient also saying you know the reason why we call a leader or a specialist or an expert is to hear their view not to hear your own voice so I'm very clear on that and in terms of see you form the equations because literally you know for instance Rahul Gandhi's class of 2004 I spent all these millen diora sachin pilot all the young tin prasad all of them came along with Rahul Gandhi
00:12:16
Speaker
So I've been watching them literally grow during their political career. You knew their father. So there is some kind of a connect also. And so that gives you an easy equation with them. And yet, you know, in terms of my shows,
Defining Professional Moments
00:12:29
Speaker
discussions, usually what happens is they're face to face. The show that I do round table is actually offline, which is we don't go live on air. We don't shoot in a studio with OB vans, you know, the system of
00:12:42
Speaker
still people are shouting to make themselves heard. They are sitting at home. They are shouting to someone in the studio, even though Mike Thikota, but they think that we must shout to make ourselves be heard. So even a Samvit Patra is very decent on my shows. You know, he's on a video round table where it's difficult to shout at the person sitting next to you. You can't really shout.
00:13:01
Speaker
So that's one reason and second is I don't know I think the whole tone of the show is more conversational and everybody I tell them you will get to have your say and you know don't have to interrupt the other one and I make sure that everybody does get to have their say and we also round up our round tables with a cup of coffee, post the round table. And those are actually I wish I could record those. That is when the Aasli cover and the Aasli gossip happens.
00:13:27
Speaker
So a lot of people say that, you know, we actually come for your post sessions than the show themselves. But unfortunately, those get off the record, isn't it? Totally. Yeah, no, no, I can get a sense of how it is for you. Priya, if I was to ask you, in all this you've done in your journey thus far, what have been some of your defining moments? Well, in terms of journalism, I mean, not necessarily work. Not necessarily work.
00:13:55
Speaker
But as a human being, as a person going through life. Well, that's been a lot. Professionally, since I'm safe on those areas, I've came out with a book on young politicians. So for me, defining moment A is my writing. You know, I really, maybe I'm too
00:14:12
Speaker
I look to my professional life for markers, but that's been something that gave me my biggest high. I think two years ago, I remember going to the during the election campaign in 2019, I went to the Gurudwara in Amritsar. I was following Captain Amrindar and then I was in Amritsar. So I went there and I told God, I've got everything. Thank you. I just want to say thank you.
00:14:33
Speaker
A book had come out, it was a very successful launch. I was doing well in my career, happy at home. I am in a relationship with someone who I'm very happy with. Family is OK. And Chiba, two months later, it all came crashing down. So I don't know whether we should say thank you to God or not. That's my one defining moment. That was not saying that was not a dare or a challenge. It was a genuine thank you. But somewhere, it's been misunderstood. And I was born to pick on that one.
00:15:03
Speaker
I do, I do. I mean, in fact, I was, and moments like this, you know, that's what all things are stabilizing now, but it was a pretty hectic to you. My mother fell down. She had a hip replacement. And after that, there's been a lot of complications with her. So that's basically been something that, and that had a boomerang effect on everything, because if something is not home in your personal well, in your personal life, it's difficult, you know, though that's what, you know, professionally things are okay, but there's a lot I could have done more.
00:15:32
Speaker
which I'm not doing. I could have traveled more, I could have, you know, in terms of show also, I could have, say, taken a daily show. A lot of people are saying, for instance, with Barkha Dutt leaving television, Niddhi Raza, you know, those are the kind of shows that I would also do. I guess we get similar guests. We have a similar easy conversation style.
00:15:50
Speaker
So there is a slot that is open in terms of you need an anchor who is fairly senior, but who can also get good guess and have a, who's not very right wing. Sorry. Let me also add that because there are a lot of anchor. I'm not very right wing at all. If you know, I'm pretty
00:16:06
Speaker
I would not, not even left of center, maybe slightly right, but it's, you know, I think I'm very balancing when I'm saying it myself. So there is space for that kind of a voice, but that would mean a commitment from my side. Every evening I would have to do something. And I know right now I can't do that because of, you know, mind space. Even my poor mother, you know, she won't, I can't blame it on her, but the mind space is not there. So that's one defining, not defining, but that's a redefining moment for me, I would say.
00:16:35
Speaker
So what did you pull out of yourself to deal with this? Because you are incredibly talented and as you said there is tremendous amount of stuff that you can actually do in this space and having to step back and make some priorities and some choices. What did you pull out of yourself in order to help you do that?
00:16:55
Speaker
I'm discovering patients. I was never a patient person. I'm discovering that, you know, you may want things to happen in a certain manner, but they're not in your hands. And so that's a big one that I'm trying to learn. I don't think I've learned it, but is and circumstances. There's some things that cannot, you know, in terms of just being very
00:17:17
Speaker
I don't like to sit on things but some things you cannot hurry so I think that's the one trying not to be as impatient as I was earlier and have and it's also Shiba made me very aware of others and more understanding I was also you know if someone didn't do something or someone fell short of a promise I used to whether professional or personalized to take it you know I didn't have much respect for that person
00:17:39
Speaker
But now it's like, you know, you walk in their shoes. So I guess that's also made you realize that there must be a reason why the person has not fulfilled something. So you just notch it down a bit, turn around the notch a bit. So how do you think that's coming across in the shows that you're doing in the
00:17:56
Speaker
Do you find that that has also changed in your own style with the way you deal with things or deal with people or questions? Is there an impact that's running across? Do you see that? Ask me that question. I really have to think about that. I don't know.
00:18:13
Speaker
But see, in terms of my profession, like I was saying, I was never the one who wanted to break news or to goad a person to get a scoop out of them, you know, browbeat me, but you didn't say no, but you haven't said yes. Does this mean that you
Adapting Journalistic Style
00:18:26
Speaker
did it? I don't do that kind of question. I don't do doorstep journalism, you know, even accused in a scam or something. I would not be sitting outside the door and troubling them unless it's Vijay Malia or some crooked business.
00:18:38
Speaker
I think it deserves all but you know there are a lot of gray areas even in the cases against politicians there's a lot of vendetta there's a lot of so especially now that's happening you know you're putting kids in jail you know so I would not say oh so and so is an accused just because he comes from a certain ideology or you know they're charged here against them so I would I've never done that so I don't think I would
00:19:01
Speaker
And in terms of my shows and all, we've always had a fairly conversational tone. We've never had a confrontational tone. I've never been confrontationalist. So that has not changed, I would say. And that's from a studio in a very good state, isn't it? I would like to think so. I don't know. I would say so. I would say so because I think it's built a reputation. It's built respect.
00:19:22
Speaker
And I think those are big, big things in the long run. So what I'm seeing and what I'm hearing, Priya, is that even the way that you approach this, and you say that you've been impatient or whatever, but your approach is largely long term. And it's about creating this whole, what's the word for it, milieu, almost like creating a milieu. As I see it, I don't know how you feel about that. Like creating a milieu, you know?
00:19:48
Speaker
And instead of rushing through stuff, it's really about creating an atmosphere, creating a different way, conversing and staying with that. And I see that and I think that has a huge place in today's system.
00:20:05
Speaker
Even in the world, I think we are so quick to rush to judgment. So to hear the other side or to hear the part of the argument is needed. I mean, now that you've said it, in a lot of debates, I do still get impatient with people I see. Sometimes I'm not the anchor. Sometimes I go as a panelist. So I'm taking on another person. And they are blatantly voicing something like they're saying that, oh, there was no oxygen shortage. Or they're going to be saying something which you know is not true.
00:20:33
Speaker
that gets me really angry and goads me so I'm still quick to lose my shirt on that one but I get impatient if I see injustice to anyone anything you know even in the market if you see someone being cheated out of some money or if you see somebody who's not being fair to especially someone who can't I mean I'm not saying it just sounds good but you know people who can't fight back then
00:20:52
Speaker
That really gets me going. I don't know. But I guess that works for everybody. You're not ready. Tell me, what else? You made me realize how much I define myself by my profession.
Balancing Work and Personal Life
00:21:03
Speaker
Every time you say, what else I think of work? No. No, I'm not asking you to focus on just that. I know you're not, but that's how I'm trained to think. Yeah. Yeah. And in terms of work, when you're talking about different perspectives and being able, was this always the case being able to be non-judgmental? But you said that that shifted and changed for you, isn't it?
00:21:22
Speaker
Yeah, I did. And it's interesting because there is a debate going on even in the art profession. Should one hear both sides, this whole both-sidedism, which is usually on the one hand and on the other hand, but the reader comes away with not knowing what is the correct answer. What are you thinking? The other argument is, no, the reader's smart enough to make up his mind and doesn't want an opinion. So I had M.G. Akbar as my editor, I remember.
00:21:51
Speaker
If I used to put any headline that came, is Rahul ready? He's like, what is this? He's like, either you say Rahul is ready or Rahul is not ready. He said, I'm not here to answer. But either this doesn't want, he wants a definite answer. So he should allow no question mark headline. So now I've started to, you know, no question marks.
00:22:10
Speaker
decide one way or the other. And by nature, I don't take decisions fast, Shiva. I'm not a person who takes decisions fast at all. I really am wondering, who am I not being fair to? What have I forgotten? What have I left out? What am I not seeing? I don't procrastinate. I like to get things, if it's on my to-do list, that should be done sooner, today, then later. But I feel very hesitant about taking a decision. I think there is that insecurity. Is mine the right decision, underconfidence, or whatever you want to call it? That is still very much with me.
00:22:39
Speaker
even though it's crazy because today as I was talking I am responsible not just for myself but for my mother I have to decide is this good for her is this bad for her because she is now not in a position to take a decision which is so scary because I am someone who doesn't even never used to take a decision about my own life and now I have to actually be responsible for somebody else's life so that's really scary and maybe that's part of growing up or whatever maybe that's changed me also but I still take a long time to decide I will tell you
00:23:07
Speaker
Yeah. And you reflected on the fact that it could be under confidence. I'm not seeing it as that. I'm just seeing it. Sometimes ambiguity brings out tentativeness and that's all right. You can't go like a bull in a China shop when you're dealing with people, right? And I'm hearing you say that. And I think that is powerful. That is powerful stuff. Is there a metaphor for life that you have, that you live by something that you fall back on? Chips are down or when you're, you know,
00:23:35
Speaker
Not really, this two shall pass, as someone recently taught me, there are good days and there are bad days. So I'm really going with that one, one day at a time is really how it's happening and not each day is going to be a good one. And hopefully nothing is permanent.
00:23:55
Speaker
Yes. The bad news, the good news is permanent. Yeah. Are there things you feel you could have done differently Priya? Some of the things you reflected on. Yeah. But apart from that, is there anything you feel?
00:24:10
Speaker
It's coming back to the profession but maybe I tried. I did try that didn't really go down well with me. Personally I don't know because my biggest regret and my biggest thing would be maybe my mother did I leave her alone, did I not give her what she wanted which is she led to the kind of point that she is now. Otherwise like two years ago same thing Stan Shiva no regrets really I was very happy with the way my life has turned out except for what happened after that.
00:24:38
Speaker
Yeah. And when I was talking about done differently, it doesn't mean that I'm asking you to explore regrets. It's basically just looking at, you know, if I had shifted my whatever, it could have been in this manner. So it's not about regrets. I'm not asking you from that perspective. Some of the gifts you receive that shaped who you are, what do you think those are? And some of the key influences in your life and professionally, work-wise as well.
00:25:02
Speaker
No, I think it began with a school teacher who really, Mrs. Acree, who actually, you know, one wrote, but she actually always singled me out for what I wrote my essays. And she encouraged me so much that I always wanted to do. I knew there was some writing was very much my passion. I thought, you know, she led me to believe in myself that I could do it well. So definitely her.
00:25:28
Speaker
and which is why I took copywriting because I thought maybe that's the profession for me. My mother, another one who encouraged my writing and professionally I think I would say in Sunday magazine, Veer Sanghvi who was my first boss because as I was saying when I've joined for that one year then in turn after one year the guy was ready to let me go he was like
00:25:48
Speaker
the bureau chief, he was a South Indian gentleman and he said now you are done and I actually went and applied for another job at Asian age and which I knew I would hate because it was a daily and very, I would be covering the MCD or something. But fortunately he was, I met Veer and he was like, no, you stay back. We have no problems with you. It's only this, he overruled the bureau chief, made me stay on and then it just, that Sunday magazine was the most brilliant place to work in.
00:26:14
Speaker
Sure. So that is why I went to politics. I had brilliant people to work with, you know, Aditi Padnes. She was, she became the bureau chief later and always a mentor. So a whole lot of people who helped me, they were so kind. That whole, I think I was there for seven years. She was the home away from home. I never came home till 10. I never should take my leave. Aditi used to tell scream at me, take your holidays, go home. But that was a world for me that I really grew in and I grew up in and I loved it. So that goes seven, eight years from 91 to 98 define me, I think.
00:26:44
Speaker
That's amazing. And do you find ways to create the same kind of an atmosphere for people who are now coming in to work with you perhaps? And is that something that you kind of mindful of? No. They had an incredible amount of patience. But one thing I learned is there's always, you can always help someone. Usually journalists and all are very worried about their sources. They don't want to introduce you to their contacts. But I saw on Sunday, it wasn't like that. I was like one big family.
00:27:13
Speaker
But I have to say, not everybody is as nice as me also. So I've had people who were younger than me, who were there just to, you know, you encourage them with half an inch, they give you a mile and they try to throw you out. They were bitching about me to my sources. So, you know, it's a very funny world, which I realised that the world outside Sunday was not the perfect world at all.
00:27:33
Speaker
or maybe Sunday was not a vision of the real world. So I had kids younger than me trying to get my job and be slimy. And it's a very toxic world. It's pretty toxic. Any profession is, I guess. So I don't know. I'm not going to be nice to everybody now. Sure, sure. And how do you deal with this? How do you deal with the toxicity? You have both sides,
Navigating Workplace Challenges
00:27:59
Speaker
right? You have both sides. And you also have some brilliant
00:28:02
Speaker
people and circumstances and conversations and life-affirming stuff and also how do you keep the balance for you?
00:28:10
Speaker
I think it's really important to have some friends that you can sit and chat with. That's, you know, just to unload into this, you know, whether it's an heartbreak, whether it's a professional. And also I have realized that this movie is what you cried over for 10 years ago, or even five years ago. It's, you don't even remember it. So try not to get upset about the little things. It's, you know, so and so the crash didn't work out or whatever.
00:28:39
Speaker
so passe now, you don't even think of it, you don't even, or even, I don't know, most things, I think life is very fleeting. That's really what I realized. Just live in the moment because you don't even want to remember what got you so upset or what got you so happy next week. So I just want to underline that. So life is very fleeting and just live in the moment and that seems to pretty much define what you live by right now. Am I correct on that understanding Priya?
00:29:04
Speaker
trying to live by Shiba, I don't think I manage, but that's what I keep telling myself, this too shall pass, this is not permanent. That's the lesson I'm trying to learn. Everything is fleeting. Even the good, that's the sad part of it. That's true. In terms of if there's someone starting out right now or younger Priya, right, or someone just about to start on them, what is it that you would tell them that so many years and the feel and what you've been doing, how, what's the kind of input you would give them advice or input you would give them?
00:29:32
Speaker
And keep yourself as someone like you, say, who's just starting out? Stars and Eyes really wants to go and get everything. What will you tell?
00:29:42
Speaker
Have more faith and confidence in yourself. I think during this course, we've kind of pinpointed how I get underconfident. But I realized that when I was starting out of that, just a little more faith and more confidence, I could have done a whole lot more. I was always looking for someone's approval, professionally, personally, everything. So that's something I think you just need to know, have that truth.
00:30:05
Speaker
faith in yourself, don't hold yourself back in terms of whatever, whether it's your story, your sources, believe in them or whether it's you yourself as a person, you know, I went through all my life thinking I was fat and now I'm looking at those pictures and saying, hey, I was so thin, you know, this whole self worth, I think one needs to
00:30:23
Speaker
I needed to and I think a lot of kids you know they're two kinds one of those brash overconfident who think they just know it all and they are too good this toxic variety and they should be actually the boss and not me and the others are kids who I feel I can see a younger Priya I can see the whole few of them out there you know I've seen already
00:30:41
Speaker
I keep telling them, have faith in yourself, push yourself forward. If you think that you deserve to be an anchor, if you don't fight for it, nobody's going to fight for it for you. Nobody's going to say, oh, let me give her that praise. If you keep, if you're self-effacing, then you will merge with the background.
00:30:58
Speaker
nobody is going to really come and notice that you worked 20 hours or 24 hours or you know you haven't got a raise or whatever you want just ask for it and get it you know make the first step maximum you'll get a no but at least you at least put your thing and this is also in relationships it's not just i've seen the relationship also you know you want to make the other person happy so i because i don't do confrontations i don't do confrontations in my personal life also shiva
00:31:26
Speaker
Which I think is a big problem because there's some issues that need to be put on the table. You know, you just say, okay, it'll spoil the moment. The moment is very good. If I bring out that awkward thing, then there's never a right time for that conversation, but you have to have it. Otherwise it just eats you up
Advice for Aspiring Journalists
00:31:43
Speaker
inside you. You get all.
00:31:45
Speaker
health problems you get. How many times can your friends listen to you to hear the same story again? You know, the same pattern is being repeated because you have not had the gumption or the thing to address it or to take it up with the person concerned. So I think that's something I'm trying to learning to do also. That will be my advice to the person that don't put yourself in the background personally or professionally. You do come first.
00:32:08
Speaker
There are ways of doing it without being in your face because there has to be self-worth. Even if you're looking after a person, if you don't look after yourself, then, you know, and I have realized at the end of the day, for our old age, we all, you know, midlife, so it's not that far away.
00:32:24
Speaker
If you are not self this thing, however much the person has done for you, however much you owe them, you will grudge them that time you have to take out of your own life to spend with taking care of them. So make sure you are not that person, make sure that you are self-sufficient and which means be healthy, be financially sound.
00:32:43
Speaker
be mentally sound, be healthy, at least do what you can. Rest goes in God's hands. But be self-sufficient. That's a very strong message. And I'm sure many people are going to benefit from it and to understand and to look at it from somebody who's reached where you are right now. And thank you so much for sharing that.
00:33:04
Speaker
and making it so real, Priya, making it so real. I believe each one of us has a unique gift that we offer. Nobody else has that combination of whatever you do yourself. What is your gift to people? Wow, I don't know. It's just that I'm there for anybody who wants to talk. I'm there to listen. I don't know. Do you think that's a small gift? That is amazing. Say that again, please. I'd like to hear that.
00:33:30
Speaker
No, I just said I'm there if anyone has a, if they want to talk about something, I'm there to listen at least. That's one thing I've learned that everybody wants someone to listen. I do. Yeah. And I suppose that is something that you do, that you give the person an ear without judgment. Is that, is that, is that something that you would? Yeah, that's a very important point Shiva that you said, someone who can listen without judgment. I can't always do that. I try to, but yeah, I think that's, that's really the whole package. It has to be like that.
00:33:56
Speaker
And that's what you bring. You say that you don't. OK, fine. But I think many people would think otherwise. And from whatever I've heard, the way that you hold these conversations, I don't see much judgment at all. And I think that's what's the key to the success of whatever you do. That's fine. Thank you. I don't know. I'll see where that goes. But yeah, maybe. Great. Is there anything else you'd like to say on our little chat before we close out?
00:34:26
Speaker
No, as I said, just be happy with the today, try and make the most of your today. And not just for others, you know, everybody tells you do something for others, but do something for yourself. What have you done for yourself today? It can be just taking a break or just time for yourself. I think that's something I would tell everybody because that's what we forget to do when we are doing this rat race literally. So as someone send me a postcard, you know, you may come first in the rat race, but you're still a rat. So try not to be a rat.
00:34:52
Speaker
That's absolutely right. Be the cat who sits and has a hot cup of milk. I don't know. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. It's been wonderful talking to you, Priya, and I've thoroughly enjoyed conversation.
Conclusion and Reflections
00:35:08
Speaker
Otherwise, Siva, thank you. A lot of surprising. I mean, you made me talk and learn a lot about myself also. So thanks, you have an art of making people talk.
00:35:16
Speaker
Thank you so much. And I wish you every success. And I do believe the space that you're talking about exists. And if not now, sometime very near in the future, I hope you find your niche there because you will bring so much to the world of conversation, to the world of journalism through
00:35:35
Speaker
what you could do in terms of those chat shows that you were talking about, the conversations that you were reflecting on. It's a matter of time. I'm sure a format is going to find its way to you. Thank you for this conversation. It's been a pleasure. Take care of yourself and thank you so much for being on Coffee and Soul. Thank you for your time and attention and for being a part of Soul Brews with Shiva. Until next week,
00:36:04
Speaker
Keep the coffee swirling.