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Ep 37 - Sheba and Ailbhe Harrington share a coffee
90 Plays3 years ago
Presenting a conversation over coffee with Ailbhe Harrington.
Ailbhe is MA, MCC, Executive Coach, Coach Supervisor & Trainer. More about her is on her Linkedin.
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Transcript
Introduction and Welcome
00:00:02
Speaker
I'm delighted to have you in the podcast, where all stories are welcome and the masks come off. Hi, Alva. Hey, Shiva. Hi, how are you? I'm very good. Thank you. And thank you so much for joining me for a Soul Brew on Soul Brews with Shiva. I'm delighted to have you on Coffee and Soul. And thank you very much for making the time, Alva.
00:00:28
Speaker
Oh, I'm delighted to be here. So this is lovely. Nice to be able to kind of have a have a couple with you and have a nice conversation. So looking forward to achieve it. Wonderful. Likewise. And I've been I've been excited about this and I'm glad we're finally doing it. So do you have a cup of coffee ready with you? I have my my cup of herbal tea. So you're a herbal tea. Lovely. And I'm a no caffeine person. So
00:00:54
Speaker
Herbal tea is just wonderful as well. So just to life, Alva, and to you, good health. Here is to life and to you too, Shiva. Yeah, lovely. Alva, I'm going to ask you to hold this cup and nestle it between your palms. And if you can just sit back and relax. Yeah, what comes to mind is
Childhood Memories and Nature Connection
00:01:17
Speaker
Just thinking of my childhood, I used to go down to where my mother was from. She grew up on a farm and I loved going there. I'd go for a month. And yeah, what came into my mind was running up the yard in the evening time and the cool of the evening. In my bare feet, I used to love running up. I know this sounds crazy,
00:01:47
Speaker
But I used to love running up and running through the feeling of it between my toes and the freedom, the freedom, and just running up through where the dairy was and up into the field and the hay barn. And yeah, just that complete and utter freedom. And yeah, interesting, my word for the year is freedom.
00:02:13
Speaker
That is amazing. That is amazing. And as you're saying this, I can see the little girl just flying through this and going into the, and apart from freedom, what does this mean for you? This image where, what else are you telling me about? Yeah, I think it's just incredible. My connection
00:02:40
Speaker
when I was younger to being out in nature and being part of nature. I mean, when I used to go down there, we had a relationship with a mother cow and a daughter cow. And oh, there was always kittens and animals. And I think particularly during COVID, not only for myself, but I know for others, just this incredibly kind of almost reconnection with nature. You know, not that I wasn't before, but
00:03:08
Speaker
just that huge kind of sense of the value and importance of us really respecting nature and being connected to nature and knowing that we're just visitors really I mean you know but the learning that comes from nature as well so
Embracing Simplicity and Nature
00:03:23
Speaker
That's been really significant in the last year and because it's the first time in 25 years that I haven't had to get in a car and drive for work. I haven't had to travel for work and to be able to get out and walk every day. And where I live, looking at my window here, is just kind of rolling hills and kind of rural countryside in Ireland. And yesterday was a beautiful day here. It was just like blue skies and sunshine.
00:03:54
Speaker
Not that it's been like that a lot lately, but I'm near a very big river, so you know I walk through wood and down by the river and back up and just
00:04:05
Speaker
Yeah, it's just that real appreciation of nature and connection with nature. It sounds idyllic, really. And obviously, and it's not just in the not just in the words that you're saying, but in the tone that you're using right now is the peace and the and the sense of nature that comes out. And obviously, this is something that means a lot to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does and out with my dog. And so it's
00:04:34
Speaker
Yeah, and that's what's been really the gift. I mean, it has been the gift of COVID. I mean, there's been lots of challenges as well, but that has been a significant gift. Yeah, it's bringing back the importance of the simple things in life. And simplicity is where I think it's what we've moved so far away from with the world and how it's become so material and so fast-paced. I mean, not that it's not
00:05:02
Speaker
still fast paced now, but I don't know, it's brought a greater focus in and kind of magnified for me and for others what's really important, you know, and one of those things is nature. Yeah. Yeah. And when you talk, I'm curious, when you talk about simple things, what are the simple things that are simple for you? One of them, as you said, was nature. What else, Elva?
00:05:33
Speaker
And oh, I love cooking and having food sharing food with friends and Yeah, I mean, sometimes that that's
00:05:46
Speaker
It's so simple and yet it's so significantly important. I love reading. I'll just finish the book yesterday. It's a beautiful book called Away with the Penguins. Lovely. Just a really beautiful story. And actually, again, it was interesting because it was all about the learning from nature. For the woman in the story,
00:06:13
Speaker
going to Antarctica and her learning from the penguins and how important, you know, she realised being part of a tribe and part of a community, how important that was and she hadn't had that. And that importance also of her being in with kind of these penguins who were babies and playing and the play and the fun and the
00:06:39
Speaker
Uh, you know, I was with, with a neighbor yesterday and she's two little pups and the joy, I was just like, what happened with them? You know, they were just jumping around and, you know, cuddling in and having a little snooze on my lap. And so, yeah, and it's kind of the book kind of brought in to focus again, my own kind of learning from working training groups of people and, uh, how, how much I've learned in the last number of years.
Building Community and Belonging
00:07:09
Speaker
how disconnected people are and how you know how much they don't feel like they belong and it would have been a theme for my own life growing up but with different things that had happened that I didn't quite know where I belonged I lived in the UK I came back to Ireland and all these groups that I train each of them through the space that's created that they
00:07:36
Speaker
they get this sense of being a tribe and being connected together. And it's just wonderful to see. And then supporting each other as a tribe. So it's like, you know, I set them all up in WhatsApp groups and they, and years on, they're still connecting in with each other. And, you know, somebody has a challenge. They're into text in the group, you know, have this happening today. If you all send me positive energy and everybody's back straight away. And it's,
00:08:04
Speaker
It's lovely, you know, and I think it connects into because life has become so complex and so busy that that simplicity is lost, but also that connection is lost, that sense of mind, sense of being part of something. So yeah, yesterday was another reminder of how important that connection is for all of us, and that sense of belonging is for all of us. Yeah, yeah.
00:08:31
Speaker
It sounds wonderful and I'm definitely going to try and get my hands on it and read it. Just reflecting with you on your life and I'd love to get a sense of, I know that you're a very accomplished coach and coach of the year last this year, 2020 I think.
00:08:55
Speaker
No, I was coach of the year for Ireland, that is, in 2016. And then this year, I was supervisor. Well, actually, I'm going to say this year, it was actually the end of 2020. And supervisor of the year, and I also won with another coach who we both co-founded Connecta Coach, which was to provide free coaching for frontline staff during COVID. So we won the President's Award for Social Enterprise for that as well at the end of 2020. Yeah.
00:09:23
Speaker
Yeah. And so, so much that you did and obviously responded to the moment when you, uh, when you started connect coach, and that's amazing to be able to do that, but it'd be great to understand your journey right up to where you are today, your highs, your lows, some of your near defining moments, you know, and, uh, and I'm not saying that we need to get into the detail, but I'm just saying, you know, some, some of the high points, uh, you could share be lovely to hear.
00:09:53
Speaker
Yeah, it's been quite a journey and literally as of last week, it's been in my head for quite some time to write.
Overcoming Personal Challenges and Building Resilience
00:10:03
Speaker
And I'm not writing a coaching book, but to write a book, which I've had the title in my head for quite some time, which is The Human Condition. And both from my own experience and from all of the different people that I've worked with over the years,
00:10:21
Speaker
and not last week through a group I was in what came out was that to write it was an act of compassion so that I need to write it and then what came up was which somebody shared was about the guard of compassion and the guard of compassion having lots of hands and and that I have many hands to write this book now so I'm gonna have to do it sooner or later but yeah it's um that's a very powerful symbol
00:10:46
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And it was like, I was thinking, oh, can I write? And it's like, oh, you've got all these hands that you can write with. So, yeah, it's been it's been quite a journey through life. I am the fifth child of seven, but the middle kind of just off the middle girl that was the oldest was a girl. I was just off the middle and then the youngest is the girl and with four kind of brothers around me.
00:11:11
Speaker
And I suppose the most significant thing that happened in my life was my father died of a very certain heart attack on the night of my 11th birthday. And my mother was left with seven children between 21 and three. And unfortunately, she didn't cope very well. And
00:11:35
Speaker
became an alcoholic. And so it was a very challenging kind of childhood after that. And being the middle girl, I kind of ended up when I was 12, you know, my elder brother gave me a cookery book and said, best of luck in your new role in life. It was somehow decided I, as the middle girl, would take over the kind of caring role. And
00:12:03
Speaker
Yeah, there were lots of ups and downs, a lot of challenges, a lot of learning. And, you know, by the time I left home, there was still a lot of challenges going on. But when I turned, I'd always wanted to travel, always. I actually went to college wanting to be an anthropologist. And when I left Ireland and went to London, I worked and
00:12:31
Speaker
as a group here in the Hilton Casino and Park Lane in London, because there were no jobs at that stage in Ireland. And I wanted to save the money to travel. You know, it was at that point that I kind of realised that, you know, I could carry a lot of, I suppose, hurt or anger and sadness as well, that my life had been so challenging. But I realised when I reflected that it had given me masses of strength. So even though I had lost things, I had gained as well.
00:13:01
Speaker
And I suppose, you know, as I think of Shirzad Shamin and his positive intelligence program, it's like, you know, using that wider part of the brain is like, well, what are the gifts and opportunities in the challenges that we've had? And, you know, at that age of 24, I was able to see the gifts I got, which was
00:13:20
Speaker
an incredible connection of seeing the humanity in people and seeing people's pain and an equally incredible strength and resilience and determination as well. And yeah, I saved enough money to travel on an army truck with a group of people through parts of Africa, Asia and the Far East.
Travel and Personal Growth
00:13:43
Speaker
And that was one of the most profound experiences of my life.
00:13:49
Speaker
And talking about where I started, that was where, oh my God, freedom was incredible. Because I didn't have to worry about paying bills. I didn't have to worry about working. I didn't have to worry about what I looked like. I didn't have to worry if I didn't wash, even though we would get an opportunity to wash. But there was no mask.
00:14:15
Speaker
It was, you could just be completely and not at yourself. And people were incredibly welcoming and warm. And this was like traveling through parts of Africa and the Middle Eastern part that nobody was going. It was in the middle of nowhere. So that was an incredible experience. Yeah, I came back from that to Ireland then and was in Ireland for a couple of years, ended up getting my first kind of serious job.
00:14:44
Speaker
I became a medical sales rep and left that and sort of started working a few, I don't remember, at the Live Aid concert. Yes, of course, yes.
00:14:59
Speaker
I was in Sudan during the time that Live 8 had. Really? All right. And we didn't, and even in Sudan at that stage, it was very little water. So it was quite challenging. But when I came back and after I left my sales job, I worked for a charity that had been set up that
00:15:19
Speaker
Bob Geldof had come back to Ireland, there was really high unemployment at that stage and he had done a concert called Self Aid and it was to raise money to help people set up a business and so I started to work for that charity and travelled the country connecting people with people who had offered support and yeah it was while I was in that job then I had
00:15:43
Speaker
met my husband when I'd gone for a visit to London and so then I left Ireland again and I went to London.
00:15:53
Speaker
you know, have had various jobs from setting up, you know, I managed an enterprise development for young people who were disadvantaged and training unemployed people. And then got into management and training, leadership training when I came back to Ireland and went on then to be a third level lecturer in personal development and group dynamics and kind of over 10 years ago went out on my own. So as I say to people, I had the portfolio career before it became fashionable.
00:16:20
Speaker
because I've done so many different things. And so, yeah, and along the way, you know, lots of challenges of moving and living in different places and, you know, having two boys and, you know, being a mum who was working and trying to juggle and balance and go through
Coaching Philosophy and Life Lessons
00:16:45
Speaker
you know, those challenges that as women, I think when we work and have children of feeling am I doing enough, am I being a good enough mother and sometimes the guilt of being away from home and, but all of those things have brought a
00:17:03
Speaker
a great understanding of the sort of challenges that people go through, the changes that people have to go through, the flexibility we have to have. And I think probably the key and most important thing is compassion. There's a compassion for myself, compassion for others. I think that an awful lot of the work that I do with so many of the people I
00:17:24
Speaker
particularly because I've been training people for a UK company called Coaching Development, I've been training them on an ICF accredited programme for the last 11 years. And I think that that programme is really about enabling people to make a journey home to themselves.
00:17:45
Speaker
and to come to a place of loving themselves and being kinder to themselves and understanding themselves and accepting themselves as they are. Which for me, I just feel blessed every day. I get up whether it's with those groups or clients I work with that I get to do the work I do. I feel very privileged and very honored.
00:18:14
Speaker
Yeah. And obviously this is something that is so, you're living the life that you probably envisage for yourself. And it's so enriched your life. And so when you share what all you have done, what you've been through and all the things that you've, and where you are today with all of this command kind of amalgamated into
00:18:40
Speaker
what you bring to people that you work with. I think that is really beautiful and powerful. So it's wonderful to hear, Alva, you spoke about freedom, that that's the word of this year for you. Talk to me a little more about that. Well, I think it's, well, I had a significant birthday in December and in fact, it's also part of it, because there is that kind of
00:19:07
Speaker
You know when you get to that point in your life and you think oh my god I've only got, I've got less to live and I've lived, which is kind of scary.
00:19:18
Speaker
you know, for so many of us that we, you know, we have from when we're younger, you know, we develop a particular story about ourselves, you know, very much the story I had growing up was a little bit like I was Cinderella in the kitchen, in the back kitchen, you know, doing all the cooking and cleaning, but everybody who'd forgotten about me. And, you know, over there,
00:19:45
Speaker
last kind of 15 years really kind of that kind of realization of you know I didn't have to wait you know why was I waiting for Prince Charming to come along I mean I had the golden slippers and then but you know for me growing up it was almost like I was giving shoes too big for me so it's it's at this stage of life it's um
00:20:09
Speaker
It's a wonderful feeling of liberation because I know who I am. I accept myself as I am. I'm, you know, so, so much more loving of myself than I would have been when I was younger. There's a liberation of being able to, and a freedom of just being true and authentic and honest and being vulnerable.
00:20:35
Speaker
And I think that's the, that has been my biggest learning, because it's like what I said at the beginning, I, to survive, I developed this incredible strength and resilience. But in that, it wasn't safe or okay to be vulnerable. You know, that just wasn't a possibility. And, you know, I think as, as Bernie Brown would say, you know, our strength is our vulnerability.
00:21:02
Speaker
to find my way and my life journey to that understanding and that acceptance. There's a liberation in that. And there's something about when you get older, it's okay. It's okay to, I feel like, you know, if I feel the tears come and I want to cry, I will. Or if I need to ask for help, that's okay too. It's not a weakness. It's not
00:21:25
Speaker
Yeah, which I think for, and I know for enough, a lot of people I work with and I train that that's where so many of us come from, that it's not okay to ask for help. It's not okay because we think we'll be weak. We'll be seen as weak or we'll be seen as incompetent. And yeah, there's something lovely to let go of all of that conditioning, all of that stuff that we carry. And I think that's where I said a lot of it
00:21:53
Speaker
is, I do believe, in a funny kind of way, as we get older, we almost return to what I would call our first act. You know, so it's like our first act is when we're younger, and then our second act is all of this striving and achieving. And then it's like our third act is like, is almost a return to our first act. So it's, you know, it's a kind of watch out, I'll be finding fields to run up through the count path soon, you know, so it's kind of,
00:22:23
Speaker
It's that return to our innocence, our essence, who really deep down we really are, that we somehow felt we had to not be, or that wasn't okay to be, or wasn't safe to be as well. And to return to that, there is a freedom and a liberation, not worrying what people think. It's not to say it's not worrying, not being concerned about being caring and kind and loving to others,
00:22:52
Speaker
but this is who I am, you know, you can take me or leave me. I'm okay with that. So there is a freedom in that.
Ageism and Wisdom of Elders
00:22:59
Speaker
Yeah. Absolutely. And when you say that the third act is equal to the first act, I think it's so profound, Elva. So profound to be in that space and to experience it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm looking forward to more of that third act. Yeah.
00:23:18
Speaker
as the years go on and hopefully hopefully we'll go on for some time and you know that I will stay in good health as well and kind of mind and body and I think this is where unfortunately again I mean within our society that you know kind of as people get older almost you know we're seen as
00:23:45
Speaker
that we had not, maybe we don't have anything to offer and yet we have the greatest gifts to offer. I heard a story the other day of, it's actually my ex-brother-in-law who had gone to, he's 71 and he went to train, he's an ophthalmologist and he went to get training to give the COVID vaccine and they came back and he said, no, you can't, you're 71. So he was okay to practice leaving 70
00:24:15
Speaker
But suddenly now he's 71, that's absurd. This is crazy. And I think that's one of the kind of losses in modern society here is that, you know, this kind of element of ageism is that you get to a certain age and yet you've got the greatest gifts. Absolutely. As the elder, as the elder of the society, I mean, there is so much
00:24:43
Speaker
Yeah, this ageism, as you talk about, is playing out quite a bit, isn't it? It's a tough one to combat. But I think more people, as you say, Alva, more people start realizing and starting living to what you just spoke about, more it will kind of
00:25:02
Speaker
reinvent itself and come back because you can't not what and i'd like to call it as the elders of the of the tribe now as he was saying what they bring it's uh it's uh it's incomparable so yeah yeah
00:25:20
Speaker
And saying that at the same time, I know that one of my kind of biggest challenges in my current life is that when you've
Parenting Insights and Self-Compassion
00:25:34
Speaker
grown through and gained so much in life, in ways you can never give to your children that wisdom in the way you'd like to, because
00:25:51
Speaker
And yet I trust, you know, they'll mature and they'll want to hear it and they'll want to take it on board. But when you're in your twenties, you think your parents like, what do they know? And then at the same time, I know that we all have to travel our own journey. And I personally believe that we're all here to learn different lessons and here to travel, you know, that individual journey. So,
00:26:07
Speaker
Our children sometimes don't want to listen to their parents.
00:26:20
Speaker
Unfortunately, one of the, I suppose, the learnings I've had to have is that I have to step back and I have to let my children do it their own way and go through their own fires and, you know, get burnt, even though you don't want your kids to get burnt.
00:26:39
Speaker
But that's where the growth happens. So yeah, the journey never ends for me either. So the learning just doesn't end. It just goes on and on. Would that be like a message you would give out to young parents or parents who are struggling with their kids? So is that something that you would say to them? What you just said? Yeah.
00:27:05
Speaker
My two boys have had a lot of challenges and, you know, my natural inclination as a mother has been to rescue, you know, to make things better. I mean, you can do that when they're smaller and pick them up and, you know, cuddle them and make them feel okay. But when they're adults, it's, you know, I most definitely, my journey over the last number of years has had to accept I don't have control.
00:27:34
Speaker
and that I have to let them travel their journey and that all I can do and all I continually do is to love them and to let them know that love is there as much as is possible that unconditional love is there and that no matter what I'm firm and steadfast I will be there regardless.
00:27:58
Speaker
But yeah, we cannot control it all. And there is a bigger plan. There is a bigger plan. I don't have any control over that plan. And I think in it as well, as parents,
00:28:17
Speaker
For me, it has been there all the time. Along that journey, I trained as a therapist and a bit of arts therapist. And I mean, primarily I did it because I needed to do work on myself to sort of to fight for my whole life. But I'll never forget things with that. We can only ever be a good enough parent. We can never be perfect. It's knowing I did a good enough job. I'm human too, as a parent.
00:28:46
Speaker
Nobody, you know, as people say, they give you, you have to get a license to have a dog, but, you know, to be a parent, it's just like, you know, you have to find your way through it. Yeah, you don't get a manual. No, you don't get any manual. Talking with my other son recently, you know, he said, I know, ma'am, you, you know, you, you know, you did your best. You didn't know, George, you had to do it, you know. And so again, it's having that compassion for ourselves and
00:29:16
Speaker
And whether it is more something that I think as women, as mothers, because of that maternal instinct, because we have brought the life into the world, that we beat ourselves up more, because my experience in working with so many women as a coach is that we carry greater guilt and we give ourselves a harder time, particularly with when we're working and bringing our kids up. And I guess my message is, we're pretty amazing.
00:29:46
Speaker
Yeah, I think women are amazing and it is that, you know, we've done our best and, you know, we give all the love we can to our children and, you know, they have got to travel their own path. Yeah, and it's okay for us to love ourselves. It's very, very interesting that we're talking about this and this is coming out today on International Women's Day as well.
00:30:14
Speaker
Although, on my part, I believe every day is women's day. But it's interesting that we should be bringing, you know, this should be a conversation for between us. Yeah, yeah. I was coming into my head thinking about that with
00:30:31
Speaker
a piece from Kyle Gebran around his poetry around children. You know, they're really only on loan, you know what I mean? They're going to have them for a little while on loan and that's it. So I've always, you know, that's always been something in my head that I need to keep coming back to, you know. Yeah.
00:30:47
Speaker
So you were going to ask me something. I was going to ask you and that is powerful because Khalil Gibran when he talks about the children that their entire passage is beautiful. So thank you for bringing that up again.
Life's Transience and Playfulness
00:31:00
Speaker
All this time that you have spent in living in life and experiencing and caring for others and caring for yourself, is there an adage you live by?
00:31:11
Speaker
Is there like a metaphor for life that you have or could be many, but is there something that that's a fallback for you? Yeah, I think, yeah, it probably is, this too shall pass. This too shall pass. Yes, we got that in the group. Beautiful, powerful parable. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, I think particularly, you know, at different stages where I've gone through challenges and particularly over the last
00:31:39
Speaker
number of years, it is, yeah, that this too shall pass. Nothing stays the same, everything changes, you know. And that, you know, my mother years and years ago, and it's from Shakespeare, but nothing is either good nor bad, only thinking makes it though.
00:32:04
Speaker
it is that kind of we don't know we don't know what will come from things they may seem or we might think they're bad but actually good comes from them or you know we might think something is going to be good maybe something else comes from it but it's um i guess it's just trust trust in the process of life it's taking us on the journey we are meant to go on and it will bring the opportunities for us to grow and learn but
00:32:28
Speaker
Yeah, but this too shall pass. So enjoy. Like yesterday, it was beautiful. And I had this beautiful walk, ended up sitting outside. Thankfully, it was beautiful enough to sit outside in COVID that I could sit out with friends and we are having a glass of wine and the sun was shining. And I was like, just enjoy this. Be in this moment because this will pass. And it's like when the tough times come, it's like, you know, this too will pass because
00:32:57
Speaker
everything keeps changing. And for me, that in recent years has been very much, yeah, very much what I come back to, yeah. And having seen life the way you have, you know, looked at life from both sides now, if you look at it from that perspective. But is there anything you feel you could have done differently, Alva?
00:33:25
Speaker
And I don't mean it in the sense of regrets. No, no, no. Let's practice some blameless discernment. I think probably the only thing that I would have as different is that I would have played more.
00:33:42
Speaker
and had more fun and not have you know I think partly because of that childhood I became highly responsible at a very young age and then I you know very much kind of brought up my two younger siblings who were three and six and because my other siblings kind of left home quite quickly so I became very responsible and and you know that kind of
00:34:06
Speaker
suppose transferred into my marriage where I became a main provider and I say yeah I think that would be it's and it's not it's like because I'm going to have my third act so I'm going to do a lot of things and it's not that I don't already because I'm the best person to have at a party and you know up singing and dancing and but yeah I think yeah to have more
00:34:32
Speaker
it was interesting, so there's that word again, so more freedom to play. And I would have, if life had been different, I would have loved to have been a dancer. Really? Oh, that is so beautiful, Alva. Yeah, so that's what I would have, I was very, very sporty, gymnastics,
00:34:56
Speaker
and was involved in that before my dad passed. But then when that happened, it was like everything kind of ended. And I had only started learning the piano and really wanted to do that. And it's only in the last year, this keyboard is behind me because it sat there for years that I wanted to learn the piano. So yeah, and I would have loved to have on drama
00:35:25
Speaker
So these are some of the things that, you know, I can still, and I will do, but if I was, yeah, if I was to have done anything different, it would have been more time for play. Yeah. And that's probably what it is. And that's why they call it the Third Act, I guess, because as you said, it's the time for
00:35:44
Speaker
You have your piano, your keyboard behind you and I am very tempted. No, I don't ask. I can't say anything. No, because I got it a year ago and I'm in COVID-19 and all practice stopped because I had to transfer all my programs online. And then with ConnectiCoach, I literally was working like incredibly long hours and long days and like
00:36:14
Speaker
nature was about the only thing was getting out and having that, but everything else kind of went to a standstill. And actually it's only last, not yesterday, but the previous Sunday was the first day I got back on it to practice. And I had to, you know, have an app on my phone where I was learning how to play. And I had to kind of go back to the beginning because I was like, I can't remember any of it because I hadn't done anything since, really since last March.
00:36:41
Speaker
So since then, well, we would have been the end of March into April when Covid kind of kicked in. So, yes, so my intent is to get back there. So come back to me in a year's time and then I'll be able to. When we do the second session, my intention was for my significant birthday, I was going to be able to play a simple classical piece on the piano.
00:37:04
Speaker
But that has not happened. Before I ask you a few more questions and we come to the close, I'd really like for you to tell us a little more about Connecta Coach.
Community Support During COVID-19
00:37:19
Speaker
The seeds, how it began, where it ends today. Yeah and well our
00:37:26
Speaker
at the time, essentially like our Prime Minister, he put out a call to Ireland after, it would have been after St Patrick's Day last year when the realisation kicked in of where we were all at.
00:37:45
Speaker
And it was like, who can help, whoever out there can help? And another colleague, Karen Hayes, you know, she'd been thinking about it. It had been in my head and I thought, oh, I don't know how we do it, but actually she said, she rang and she said, look, could we do this? And she had come up with the name and she had the technological kind of background and I had the connections.
00:38:13
Speaker
And literally, I mean, I sometimes wonder how we did it now, because literally in the space of a week, we ended up, got somebody to design the website, do the branding. I reached out and had hundreds of coaches come back to me, reached out to supervisors, we set up contracts. And literally in the space of a week, we went live. I still don't know how we did it.
00:38:41
Speaker
You know, this brings me to the thought, Mahatma Gandhi, you know, Gandhi, and he, one of the things he did, he started his movements and the freedom movement. And he said, somebody asked him, how can you manage this? And, you know, with, so he said, he said that, you know, it's amazing when you are fighting for a just cause, people just seem to pop up from the pavement.
00:39:07
Speaker
and just start contributing to what you ought to do. Does that kind of resonate, Alva, with something like what happened with you? Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. It was almost like everything just aligned with ease. Everything just happened with ease, and it just all came together. And it was quite incredible. And the coaching community, the desire to say,
00:39:40
Speaker
And then what was really interesting kind of through it was that, you know, when I think about it as well, going back and when we had training for the coaches and psychological first aid supervisors were set up because I was very clear that the coaches needed to be supported. We needed to create the structure for how we were doing it that would make sure that
00:40:09
Speaker
that, you know, in the Connect2Coach system, what happened, well, you know, it was incredibly when you have a, when everybody wants to serve and you've got a very clear purpose, how everything just aligns and comes together. And what was really interesting was that for a lot of the coaches, they had lost their businesses and most people, everything had just stopped. And through Connect2Coach,
00:40:38
Speaker
it wasn't only that the frontline staff were supported, but actually the coaches started to feel part of a community, which goes back to what I said, and we were talking about earlier, which is how important it was that they felt like they were part of this, again, this kind of tribe. And because each of them were in small supervision groups, each of those supervision groups was like a support network for the coaches. And so they felt incredibly supported during COVID when their businesses had gone.
00:41:07
Speaker
And it was just again another reminder of how much and how important it is for us to feel connected and to be part of something and to be serving. Yeah, there was something that was really significant about people feeling that they were serving and all of the coaches have stayed on board and we've continued. So they rotate every eight weeks.
00:41:32
Speaker
on the site and the services still being offered and we'll continue to offer it now up until June and then potentially then we
00:41:43
Speaker
we will stop then at that point and I would imagine what a what a brilliant thing to have done and and the fact that it must have been so needed and so uh responsive to the situation and probably just you know something you know just connecting so beautifully into what was needed and that is amazing that you know you helped birth that
00:42:12
Speaker
It was wonderful to be able to serve in some way to operate. But the interesting thing again, and again, it goes back to what we spoke about earlier, is that when people are going through a time of crisis and challenge, and I would relate to this in my own experience, that it's very difficult to reach out for help. Because the fear is that if I
00:42:41
Speaker
if I let a crack open, then I might fall apart and I won't be able to survive this. And so we've kind of witnessed that, that during the really, really heavy crisis time with COVID and each of the kind of waves that have come, it's not during the most challenging time that people reach out, it's only post the challenge.
00:43:09
Speaker
And I think that the reality is that as we move out of COVID in the next, whether it's going to be six, nine months a year, I think then we're going to see the kind of fallout and the impact that it has had on people and the space that they will need to be able to process because they haven't been able to give themselves permission because it hasn't felt safe enough
00:43:38
Speaker
particularly those who've been in very, very challenging situations, to ask for that help because the fear is I won't be able to carry on. Yeah, it's, there are just so many levels to this, right? Whatever we've been through and we're just beginning to unpack it. After the most obvious, it's the ones that are, that's amazing what you're referring to.
00:44:07
Speaker
Alva, I believe every human being has a very unique gift to offer mankind, humankind as such. What is yours? I think it's, I say to people, it's love. That's, you know, I think my, I don't know, my purpose in life has been about love. Yeah. And I do believe that that is, that is the
00:44:33
Speaker
that is the essential thing in life, is that we can stay in a place of love, of ourselves and of others. And if we can be in that place and less in a place of fear, then the world would be such a happier, peaceful place for everybody. And we have to just keep coming back to that. So, yeah. That is so beautiful.
00:44:59
Speaker
that you are about love. And thank you so much for sharing that with us and letting us into that and letting us feel that me and the people who will be watching and viewing this. Is there anything else you'd like to say?
00:45:14
Speaker
I just thank you so much for having me on and I had no idea where this was going to go, what we were going to be spoken about. So, yeah, it's been a privilege to share with you and to talk with you and
00:45:34
Speaker
Yeah, thank you. It's been an absolute pleasure and it's my privilege, Alva, because to be able to talk about things that are actually sacred in spaces together across the world. I think these are some of the boons and the benefits of the times that we have just been through.
00:45:55
Speaker
And thank you for being a part of Soul Rose Achieva and for being so open in what you have shared. And I wish you every success in your third act as you journey on. And all the very best. Thank you so much for this conversation.
00:46:18
Speaker
Thank you. And hopefully if we reconnect next year, I'll be able to play that piece on the piano. I look forward to that. And we get to see some dancing as well. Maybe all join in as well. Some dancing, some singing, some playing on the piano, and potentially some writing. It sounds like we'll be celebrating. And I look forward to that. Likewise. Thanks, Shiva. Take care. Have a lovely day the rest of the day to you. OK. Thank you.
00:46:49
Speaker
Thank you for your time and attention and for being a part of Soul Brews with Shiva. Until next week, keep the coffee swirling.