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EP175 Steve Richmond - Communication Vs. Connection image

EP175 Steve Richmond - Communication Vs. Connection

S1 E175 · The Sovereign Man Podcast
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70 Plays1 month ago

“This is what’s missing—having men in your lives that hold you accountable. My grandfather and those before him did that naturally, but into my father’s generation and mine, it started to change.”

Masculinity isn’t about posturing—it’s about showing up. In a world drowning in shallow communication and performance, true connection requires accountability, courage, and the willingness to call each other out. Strength is built not in isolation but in the bonds forged through challenge and camaraderie.

This episode dives into how men can reclaim their role as leaders by embracing uncomfortable truths and holding one another to a higher standard. The guest shares his wisdom on fostering authentic relationships, tackling destructive behaviors, and rediscovering the values that make men thrive in both personal and societal contexts. It’s a sharp and honest exploration of what it means to truly connect in an age of disconnection.

Steve Richmond is a men’s advocate, speaker, and mentor with over three decades of experience in men’s groups. A fierce proponent of accountability and integrity, he helps men rediscover their purpose, build meaningful relationships, and navigate life with unapologetic authenticity.

You’re invited to come to a Sovereign Circle meeting to experience it for yourself. To learn more, go to https://www.sovereignman.ca/. While you’re there, check out the Battle Ready program and check out the store for Sovereign Man t-shirts, hats, and books.

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Transcript

Introduction to Masculinity and Societal Shifts

00:00:01
Speaker
I'm seeing the pendulum of you know women wanting men to share their feelings, start to swing back. There's a lot on Instagram nowadays and all these other social media platforms about you know just let don't expect your man to talk about his feelings because that's not how we deal with our feelings. We don't talk about them. and That, in the end, I think is going to be helpful. Now we've just got to get the men back with their men. And you know as our mentor said, the more women take their place at the table, the more men need their men to deal with their ship.
00:00:33
Speaker
You're a man living

Redefining Masculinity Today

00:00:34
Speaker
in the modern world in a time when men and manhood are not what they once were. You live life on your own terms. You're self-sufficient. You think for yourself and you march to the beat of your own drum. When life knocks you down, you get back up because in your gut, you know that's what men do. You're a badass and a warrior. And on the days when you forget, we are here to remind you who you really are.
00:01:03
Speaker
Welcome to Sovereign Man podcast where we aim to make men masculine again. I'm your man, Nicky Baloo. And we have a repeat special guest, Steve Richmond. Welcome Richmond. Thank you. Thanks for being here and inviting me and good to see you. Good to see you. So

Importance of Accountability in Men's Groups

00:01:24
Speaker
last night we witnessed um and a men's group you and I both participate in, ah the spectacle of a man being called out on his bullshit. And it it was beautiful to be a part of that. um And there was another man there who did not participate in the calling out who said,
00:01:51
Speaker
that he entered the meeting at a seven, and after witnessing the calling out, he was at an 11 out of 10. And so I want to have a conversation about the benefit of calling other men out. So I want to ask you this question. First of all, it's obvious that men don't call men out in this day and age.
00:02:20
Speaker
the way they did years and years ago. And I'm wondering, why do you think that is? Well,

Evolving Nature of Male Confrontations

00:02:33
Speaker
um let me start with even on teams doing this kind of work, men don't call each other out the same as they used to.
00:02:44
Speaker
And I remember getting my ass ringed by men. You know, we used to joke it was, we'll make you the man we want you to be. But a lot of those ass ringings really got me out of my head. And especially when I was, you know, first separated and, you know, struggling with a lot of stuff. And they were very helpful because I was buying my own bullshit and men refused to let me do that.
00:03:10
Speaker
Whereas you know nowadays, um especially outside of this work, it's there's the younger men nowadays, well, even up to my age, some of them are, it's all conflict negotiation and schools, you know you can't go out and just have a schoolyard scrap.
00:03:33
Speaker
and that that's how men used to solve a lot of their issues, and be it a disagreement or you called me you know you called me on my bullshit and I don't like that. But it it seems that nowadays it's all about being friends and you know i I've heard so many times where, you know, I've done something and we're not going to rat him out. Well,

Support vs. Accountability in Friendships

00:04:03
Speaker
you know, the dude broke the law and he's endangering your life and other people's lives. And you're not going to serve that man by calling him on his shit and going, what you did is wrong. And that that's so much of today's society. It's all about, uh,
00:04:22
Speaker
supporting a man no matter what. Well, if the man's going down the wrong path, why are you supporting him? You know, call him on his shit. Like, you know, you're drinking too much. You're you're you're not spending time with your wife. you're whatever Whatever the situation. And, you know, this is I hate to sound like the dinosaur I am, but this this is what's missing is having men in your lives that holds you accountable. My grandfather and those before him, they did that naturally. Into my father's generation, into my generation, women entered the workforce, all that stuff all started to change. and
00:05:11
Speaker
I'm seeing the pendulum of, you know, women wanting men to share their feelings start to swing back. There's a lot on Instagram nowadays and all these other social media platforms about, you know, just letch don't expect your man to talk about his feelings because that's not how we deal with our feelings. We don't talk about them. That in the end, I think is going to be helpful. Now we've just got to get the men back with their men.
00:05:41
Speaker
And you know as our mentor said, the more women take their place at the table, the more men need their men to deal with their shit.

Historical Gender Roles and Feminism: Impact and Stories

00:05:53
Speaker
So why do you think society changed all of a sudden in the last 60 years? What caused all that? Because for thousands of years, it hadn't. And frankly, outside of the West, it still hasn't.
00:06:06
Speaker
Yeah, well, and yeah I can only speak to where I am, but yeah, it's it's changed even there. And you know when women from elsewhere come here, it changes pretty quick. And I'm not trying to blame feminism. I think it's twisted and gone in a direction that not a lot of women are even happy with.
00:06:27
Speaker
But it was, you know, even in the 90s when I did my men's weekend, you know, women wanted ah sensitive new age guys. Well, that's not who men are, you know, but we, we as men wanted to be with women. So we did what they wanted. Anything to get pussy. i'm sorry And then they had us and they're like, Oh shit, we don't want this. We want men.
00:06:56
Speaker
But, you know, all of society was becoming so sensitive and new age and, you know, ah what what do they call it? ah Oh, God. Emotionally intelligent men. That's ah that's a dangerous thing to me.
00:07:17
Speaker
well um I think looking at why all this started to happen is is important, and too too many men in our work who have the right answers as to what men need to do in order to ah live life effectively, men like yourself, men like the late Hoop Van Maris, men like Mr. Stapleton, Mink, Tim Borachi, and others,
00:07:47
Speaker
they They're not introspective, not personally introspective, but society introspective enough to come up with those answers because it's my opinion that those answers are important answers and it's not about blaming feminism. I think feminism is a symptom of the issue rather than the issue but itself.
00:08:10
Speaker
um But I don't think this happened by accident. I don't think all of a sudden, just in the West, everybody had this societal shift and change. It it it appears to me that a lot of the changes in Western society in the last 60, 80 years are externally fostered and created. um There are... Well, and that may be. There are tons of um
00:08:40
Speaker
tons of thinkers and thought leaders and actually actors in the arena who've said that um the global communist movement, starting in the ah early latent late like after the Russian Revolution in the early 1920s, went on a multi-decade strategy to to turn Western culture against itself. And a big part of that strategy was weakened men, weakened men. Because you weaken men, then you can defeat a society more easily, right, if the men aren't ready to fight. And I think they've succeeded in in weakening men, but they haven't succeeded in weakening all men. There's still plenty of strong men around. But they've done a pretty darn good job of weakening men. And the Soviet Union collapsed.
00:09:37
Speaker
But the strategy they put into motion kept going because they found enough willing participants, useful idiots that Ida Muhlenen used to call them, to continue with everything that's gone wrong in society as the fault of men, their chauvinist patriarchy. And I i yeah used to buy that, but now I completely reject that. I don't think the feminist narrative is so at all true, I think it's a lie designed to weaken our society. I think men and women's roles throughout history have been well-defined. And there's a reason men had a certain role. There's a reason women had a certain role. And for people to come and say, hey, ah this is just men a oppressing women. I don't know. I remember being back home in Iran, which is supposedly an oppressive country that oppresses women. And I remember growing up in my household,
00:10:34
Speaker
My father was a larger than life figure. He was a businessman, a Christian. he he He was successful. He made a lot of money. And on the surface of it, everyone would think, yeah, he's the head of the household. And yet, yeah ah yeah and yet my mother chose where we lived. We moved six times, and every move was precipitated by my mother. My dad did what she told me. The last place we moved to was a home that he built to her specifications.
00:11:04
Speaker
When the Islamic Revolution took place in Iran, she met with him and said, we need to go. We need to take the kids out of here. You know, this is Islamic country. And dad goes, OK, OK. And he executed the plan. He did the work. So let me be clear.
00:11:22
Speaker
But she chose where we were going. We went to Greece at first, and we went to the US, not US, to Canada. um And all of this was was my mother's doing. we We went on vacations to where my mom said she sent us to, she she had us learn English. So we went to American schools. She brought us to Canada. She sent us to Switzerland to to to do camps in the summer. Like all of this stuff.
00:11:48
Speaker
My mother ruled that household. And yet Westerners go, oh, no, no, she's one of the oppressed women of Iran. Oh, yeah. where How are women oppressed? like i'm'm I'm just looking at this. How are they oppressed? yeah westw world they they They don't fight wars right i outside of North America. We fight all the wars. We do all the dirty works. We get killed. We make all the money. We work our foot ourselves to the bone. And they they call all the shots. Ask me how that's oppressive.
00:12:16
Speaker
Because I don't get it. Yeah. And as you well know, I spent a year in Kuwait. So at a very similar time, I mean, I didn't go back over there because the Shah was overthrown. And you it was evident that, you know, in spite of how they dress,
00:12:35
Speaker
ah outwardly, you know, I learned a lot about but the society behind the scenes and and the Iranian and the Iraqi women that were in Kuwait, I mean, they were in charge, dude. As were the Kuwaiti women, they just, you know, it's like,
00:12:57
Speaker
Well, as one of the women said to me, at it we we had an American Thanksgiving party and she goes, yes, i you know, ah I let the public think my husband's in charge. And it's true. That's what they do. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, oh, the women can't eat with the men. And her answer to that was, ah we don't want to. We have a much better time with all the women being in relationship than listening to all the men's bullshit in the other room. It's like, but.

Modern Communication and Connection Challenges

00:13:28
Speaker
we'll We'll do this to make you think that you're you're whatever. And yeah, I mean, it's in our nature. We're we're born and raised to pursue women and please women. So we we will. We'll crawl through fucking glass to make them, you know, quote, unquote, happy. I know we can't make women happy, but. But that's our, that's our, that's our intent. that so It's in our DNA. Yeah, it is.
00:13:58
Speaker
so you You look at single men in their 70s because I'm partially one right now and and I look around at these men who have been single for the last 20 years and ge a lot of them aren't too happy with life. They just got this little routine and they go about it and they trod through their life and I'm like, yeah, I don't think I can do that.
00:14:20
Speaker
but you know And sovereign man, you you said it, right? The war was over. We had two wars almost back to back. And then there was Korea and all the other bullshit too, Vietnam and my lifetime. and But those wars, when they were over, created good times. And as your sovereign man thing, motto is, it's like,
00:14:46
Speaker
bad times create strong men, strong men create good times. Well, we've had good times up in, you know, and now we've got weak men. We do. now there was I forget who, it's a black gentleman and I caught it about a year ago and I just saw it the other day. It's like, you know, ah my father walked 10 miles or my grandfather walked 10 miles to work. My father drove, ah but my father walked two miles to work or something. I drive a this, my son drives a Ferrari, his son will walk.
00:15:25
Speaker
because the good times, the good times, and then it's like you're right back to square one again. so And that's part of It's true. and then That's what's kept me doing this work for 30 years is you know just just seeing the feminization of men over the years. there's it It's hard. It's not women feminizing men, it's society. I see these young dudes now, they're wearing 14 times as much perfume as the women. It's like Christ.
00:15:58
Speaker
you know um But to get back to our topic, The problem is we're we're, and I've said this many times, we're in the the greatest age of communication, but there's no connection. There's absolutely, you know, and I've got a man on my own men's team. I try and get ahold of them. It's like, well, text me, text me, text me. No, I want to talk to you.
00:16:26
Speaker
I need the connection of talking to you, not getting a text while you're not paying attention at a fucking business meeting and texting me back four seconds later.
00:16:38
Speaker
yeah You can't get into context, you you can't get into shit, and you can misinterpret a lot. So. Yeah, like, but I i yeah went, whenever someone, ah whenever I call someone, they don't pick up and they say, I saw that you called it by text, what's up?
00:16:54
Speaker
My response always is, call me. Yeah. i say Nothing else. Call me. And if they don't call me, they go, well, I text, well, I want to know what's up. Fuck you. Call me. And I tell them that. I'll never fucking respond to my phone call with a text again, because if I see you in person, I'll punch you in the mouth and knock two of your teeth back in your throat. I want to speak to you and I'll call you back over the top. But it does piss me off. It's good. It needs to get their attention, their pussies. fucking My son, my oldest son, will not call a man without texting him first. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Oh, I know. then
00:17:31
Speaker
fuck off just pick up the phone i told my boys when i call you i expect i expect you to call me back if you can't pick up i expect to call back yeah if i'm in the middle of my business day and they're calling me which the one kid especially does and i can't pick up and he's got something he needs and i say if it's urgent tell me what you need and if i can do it i'll do it and if it's not urgent then fuck off call me later yeah oh yeah No, my type D is the one that you phone them, you get their voicemail, and then they go, oh yeah, for a faster response, text me.

Men's Accountability and Cultural Shifts

00:18:06
Speaker
um Nine times out of 10 when I'm calling you, I'm driving or doing something, I don't want to text you, that's why I called you. yeah So, yeah. But as far as far as menste is men being called out.
00:18:22
Speaker
being called out. And part of it is, let's let's face it, the divorce rates through the fucking roof. um There's a lot of single moms out there and they're doing their damnedest, but they're not dads. And these boys are not getting an example of how to be masculine men. And that that's a huge issue. i I see more and more men that have issues with confrontation like if it gets heated in a meeting especially in person you can see those men get uncomfortable and it's like it's a confrontation you know it's no different than if you're smacking a dude while you're playing football but they're just like oh this is no let's you know or or i hear men in our circles especially like oh you're being emotional well where the fuck else am i supposed to be emotional this is why i'm on this
00:19:16
Speaker
with this group of men is so that I can deal with my emotions and my shit here so I don't take it and vent it all over my woman or my family. yeah and oh it's And it's critical and it's something that society has lost. And there's a man there's a man I know that due to a circumstance, he ended up south of the border for quite a while, ended up marrying the lady he was with. And his lady is very proud of the fact, this is about a year ago, that that they had spent 295 straight days together. And his words to me were, I'm going fucking crazy. I need to get out of here. And I'm going, yeah, you, you're not, you're not designed to be with a woman 365 days a year. I'm sorry. And
00:20:13
Speaker
women who know what they want in life, they don't want to surround that much either. It's fine, it's true. Yeah.
00:20:34
Speaker
What I want to say is this, that there's far too many men right now that are just unwilling unwilling to call other men out and Last night we called this man out and it was a glorious thing It was a glorious thing, right? um yeah it's It's my humble opinion that when a man um When a man calls another man out
00:21:08
Speaker
he does good for himself, he does good for the man being called out, and he does good for other people that are watching him do the calling out, because they are encouraged to speak up when otherwise they would shut up. Yeah, well, and I find that quite often the the after effect of that is realizing, there but for the grace of God am I,
00:21:37
Speaker
And where am I doing this? Where am I, you know, I'll just handle this on my own, and I won't bring it to my men or whatever the issue. And, you know, we're all guilty of it. That's usually what it is, right? That's usually what it is. I mean, last night, that's what it was for that particular man. There's shit that he was not willing to bring to his men. And because he wasn't willing to bring it to his men, he was making stupid fucking decisions. Like, stupid. Poor.
00:22:07
Speaker
And he's going to continue to do that because he's too stupid to realize he's doing it and it's a mistake. yeah Well, let's be honest, he's not stupid. He's just so blinded by his barriers that, you know, he's a smart man, but his barriers are in the way. He's done things a certain way all his life. They haven't worked, but that's where we go. We go to the familiar and that's that's where the supportive men come in. um Like, dude, you're smacking your head into this concrete wall. You have been for five years. Have you looked to the right? There's a fucking doorway right there.
00:22:44
Speaker
Oh, I can change and do something different. But that's the thing. That man is a mirror to everyone who was on that call because we've all done it and we will all do it again. Yes. With, you know, one or another item in our life, we we all will not take counsel from the man. ah This is why it's critical, you know,
00:23:10
Speaker
Giving counsel to man is one thing. Giving advice to a man is dangerous. ah We have to really watch that because if it's a personal experience you went through and you can tell a man something that you learned about you from that experience, great, land on them. But if you're just hyperbolizing about, you know, this is what I think you should do with with no personal ramifications of what you've gone through, then no.
00:23:40
Speaker
You know, like with that man, I've watched 30 years worth of men and it's almost a verbatim speech. like I swear if I'd recorded them, then almost all be the same. I've got too much on my plate. I want to step back. I want to take a look at this. You know, I've got things I want to focus on. You talked to those men six months a year later. Well, how was that? You know, you were working on that big thing. Oh, I haven't done anything with it. Well, cause you didn't have anybody holding accountable.
00:24:09
Speaker
Because with being accountable and one of the men last night said, you know, you have to be accountable to yourself. That's the hardest fucking thing in the world for a man to do. That's why we need men to hold us accountable to what we say we want to do. or They can't hold us accountable, but they can hold me accountable for what I say I want in my life.
00:24:33
Speaker
um and It's never been good. For me, when I've pretended I'm going to hold myself accountable, it's always been good for me when I know that at the end of the day I've got someone I'm going to answer to. Oh, victor big Big time. Because underneath it, as we both said in
00:24:58
Speaker
as our mentor and many other mentors I've had over the years, men are at the core, fucking lazy. And yeah if you don't accept that we're lazy, that's where you're in trouble. Because if you don't think as a man, you're lazy, you're buying your own bullshit right out of the gate. Yeah. And agreed yeah and You know, there's probably not a day goes by that a man couldn't be doing accident. Yeah, I'll just sit down and watch TV for half an hour, whatever. You know, it's just the way we are. But as I explained to a woman one time, why do you think we invented so many things? Because we're fucking lazy. What do you mean I got to walk to the fucking well 50 times a day to bring you back water? What if I put a pipe in the ground?
00:25:51
Speaker
Mr. jeff the Truth. Yeah. um
00:25:58
Speaker
Yeah, last night witnessing this man being called out. And

Oral Communication vs. Written Notes

00:26:04
Speaker
actually, as you know, normally in situations like last night, I don't lead. I wait for every other man to go and I'm the last man to speak. But I couldn't do it last night. I felt so strongly.
00:26:18
Speaker
that this man needed to be called out and and the tone needed to be set for him to be called out because I i felt that if someone else let it off, they they could have pussied it up. You know what I mean? They could have pussied it up. And that's what I was afraid of. Oh, it's too bad. That's great. We'll miss you. What the fuck is this? It's not completing, man. That's stroking the man's dick. Yeah.
00:26:43
Speaker
Yeah, and why that that's part of the whole misconception of having men in your life, right? We're not here as a support group. We're here to support your dreams, goals, and successes. And that's going to mean kicking your ass on occasion. it's We're not here to pat you on the back and go, good job, Billy. You know you almost scored that goal. No, it's like if you hadn't been such a fucking ball hug, you would have had an assist because Buddy was standing right in front of the fucking empty net.
00:27:14
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. that Exactly. That's the facts. That's that's the facts. I really enjoyed the meeting last night. I enjoyed calling this man out. I enjoyed all the other men taking courage from me starting and calling him out.
00:27:35
Speaker
I enjoyed the man who said, I've never done this like this before, but I'm going to do it now. I really enjoyed that. I thought that was exactly really thought that was excellent. It warmed the cockles of my conservative Christian heart. and ah I really enjoyed the man who was there who who said nothing.
00:27:57
Speaker
until we asked him what it was like for him to witness this, and he said, man, it took me from a seven to an 11. That was awesome to see men give a shit about another man. And I just, that was the moment where I went to myself, oh yeah, this actually fucking makes other men feel really good when they see it. This is what they know they're missing. Until they see it, they don't even know they're missing it, but once they see it, they go, shit, this is what's needed. This is what I need.
00:28:25
Speaker
Yeah. Where were you three weeks ago when I was fucking up? Yeah. you know And that's the thing. I mean, it was unfortunate that the man couldn't go mass down enough. He kept trying to engage his ego and defend his actions.
00:28:40
Speaker
it' like Yeah. And it's like, you know, just just go be introspective on this. You know, the power of everything we do is an introspection. And you need to just go away, think about it. And as I said, you know, I've heard this, the same speech, probably 250 times in the past 20 years. It's like, I'm gonna go and do this. It's like, it's a lie. in no um So calm down a little bit.
00:29:10
Speaker
You know, and as I said to him, you know, the work he's done, it's in his heart, it's not in his head, and he's always trying to remember the weekend, and that's not where it is. You know, you know there's another man on that call last night who's always bitching about not being able to take notes in our courses. And two weeks ago, I said, the weekend is in your head, it's not in your head, it's in your heart. And as long as you're writing shit down, you never get there.
00:29:40
Speaker
And the light bulb went on front. You know, this was his lazy way of not ingesting the work and doing what he needs to do. Well, if I could take notes, it'd be so much better. You know, so, but I happened to,
00:30:00
Speaker
I believe in note-taking. Note-taking works for me. It embeds things for me better than simply listening. It depends on what you're doing. If you're doing them while there's a conversation going on, you don't tend to hear the next part of the conversation.
00:30:13
Speaker
No, no, I'm listening. I'm listening. that's i listen and I take strategic notes. I don't write down every fucking thing someone says. Just like when there's a particular phrase, I go, oh, OK, that's good. I write that down. And then I listen. And then i I shorthand the rest of it. Boom, boom, boom. It embeds it further into my psyche. When I just listen, it's not as good. ah If I tried to write down everything ah an an instructor said or a person said, then I'd be fucked because there's no way to do that.
00:30:42
Speaker
but And so like yesterday I had a business conversation with Mark Von Muser, whom you know. and We were talking about a very important and very interesting and powerful topic. um You know that I'm someone who is a guest on a lot of podcasts. And as a result, I've built myself out as the world's greatest podcast guest. And I'm talking to other coaches and consultants about how podcast gusting is the hot new way to get leads in sales. and diet
00:31:19
Speaker
and The way i was going to we were demonstrating that in the conversation Mark and I were having was ah the US election, how Trump defeated Kamala Harris. so Kamala Harris had $1.4 billion dollars that she raised herself. She had a billion dollars in outside money backing. The legacy media was 100% on her side. Trump only raised $400 million. dollars He only had a couple hundred million outside backing. and The legacy media was 100% against him.
00:31:48
Speaker
and yet She, she wanted the debt and she lost and he had money left over and he won. So why is that? Her strategy was old media, legacy media, lots of advertising dollars. His strategy was new media, independent media, free. yeah Right. And her strategy was scripted conversations. His strategy was free flowing, long form, get to know me conversations.
00:32:13
Speaker
and the point i i I was making that Mark and I were making together was her strategy is rooted in the past, his strategy is rooted in today and the future. right and That's why he won and that's why she lost. And if you're a business person and you're thinking, how do I promote my business? Well, you can do the old strategy and try to get Facebook ads and Google ads and all that bullshit and spent thousands and tens of thousands of dollars or you can do the new strategy and go be a guest on independent podcast for free and make money. So you see what I mean? It's it was a good conversation. but Like Mark was speaking a fucking torrent. I couldn't take notes on the whole damn thing. oh you You've seen Mark speak. He's he's like boom, boom, boom, boom. He never stops, never slows down.
00:33:02
Speaker
So instead, I just took notes. And and when I put the notes together, it kind of cohered for me. I'm like, OK, this this works for me. So like i'm and I'm a believer in note-taking. Note-taking, I think, is effective. It works. It works for me. I was taught how to take notes in a particular way. But for most dudes, yeah, all they fucking do is they're just their their heads down the whole fucking time they're writing. I get it. That's that's stupid. Yeah. Stupid. Doesn't work.
00:33:31
Speaker
ah but Well, and ah and there again, ah you know the history of men with men is an oral legacy, not just the men's weekend. The history of men with men is an oral legacy. you know ah There's things from the men's weekend you you don't want to be writing down for your wife to find. you know they're good They're good for men and they make us better husbands and fathers, but women may not see that that way.
00:33:58
Speaker
And you know it's just that oral legacy that you know how to hunt and fish, you don't take notes on how to do that. You don't take notes on how to sharpen an axe. You just fucking learn how to do it and you master it. And that's the biggest reason. That's absolutely true.
00:34:18
Speaker
um Although I got to say there's certain like household repairs that I've been making myself without having been taught how to do them. I've, I've gone on YouTube and I've watched professionals show me and others how to make these repairs. Here's the benefit of all the communication is that stuff is now at your fingertips where before you used to have to dig out your owner's manual. Now you Google your owner's manual.
00:34:46
Speaker
you know It's like, how do I change the spark plugs in my car? Not that I would touch a computerized car. But that is the benefit. But the flip side and the dark underbelly of that is people are not connecting with people.
00:35:03
Speaker
rather than phone Walsh and go, hey, dude, I need, I got a carburetor on a 67 Chevy. What do I do here? And Walsh coming over and spending the day with you to fix it. um You Google it and fuck with it yourself. And maybe three days later, then you phone Walsh the great car mechanic and he comes over and fixes it. Yeah, yeah, I get that. I mean, yeah.
00:35:32
Speaker
I call men and I ask for help. but some Some things, home-based repair, you know it's simpler and easier to find someone who's doing it, watch them, learn how to do it, and do it myself. If I need help, then I'll put someone over. so yeah i That's what I say. It's great for that kind of stuff. like you know My door hinges fucking up. How do I fix that? well that you That's a video and oh, you put these little shims in behind. Oh, got it. And yeah. No, it's good. It's good. It's very good. I've enjoyed this conversation and I think I want to leave men with this.

Building Honest, Growth-Oriented Relationships

00:36:23
Speaker
Seek men who you can call out and can and will call you out because if you are looking for men who are never going to confront you and you you want to go through life without ever being confronted, you're going to lead a really shitty, boring, fucked up, unsatisfying life.
00:36:49
Speaker
yeah
00:36:51
Speaker
Well, and I'll just add to that, that if you're a man and you've got a dozen friends, there's maybe one of those men will actually call you out. The best way is is to find other men in your life that you may not even like. I've been on teams with men, I can't stand. Some of those men were the best at keeping me on track for what I wanted to do. Cause They didn't like me, but they cared about me. And that's the big difference. You have to care about another man. It's not about whether you like him or not. Well, as you know, um there's a particular man who unfortunately is passed on who I didn't like. There was a lot of men who didn't like him, but he did me the biggest service any man's ever done for me in this work.
00:37:50
Speaker
ah And I'm not gonna get into it for confidentiality reasons. Yeah, but um I Will never tell you oh, I like this man. He's a great man. He was an asshole was complete you you told me that a few hundred times right fucking dear this asshole yeah but some there will have nominal miracle who You fucking need in your life. Yeah you know and I really enjoyed last night's spectacle. The only thing that I'm sad about is that this man that we called out didn't get it. If he'd have gotten it, that would have been the icing or the cherry on top of the icing on top of the cake, right?
00:38:41
Speaker
But um it didn't matter that he didn't get it, because it was still great for me. because This is selfish as all fucking dinner, right? It's all about your needs. I get it. It was I was so tired last night. like ah Tuesday night, I had a hard time falling asleep. I only slept two hours, and I've not caught up on that sleep since. Every other day, I've slept what would normally be enough, but I need to catch up on the miss sleep. You know what I mean? to Like, so I was tired. I came into the call going fuck. By the time we finished that calling out, I was so fucking energized. I was so fucking energized. oh It was great. It was great. It was great. well And if the men that the men that were on that call are watching this, ah stay in touch with that man. Don't leave him up there.
00:39:31
Speaker
you know and check in and keep holding them accountable. Well, you said you wanted what's been a couple of weeks, what's going on? Oh, nothing? Okay, well, or great, you're on track. But sadly, it's it's the history shows that- You won't be on track. You know- You won't be on track.
00:39:53
Speaker
No, I mean, i due to my commitments with my brother, I had to step away because we were doing 80-hour weeks and it just wasn't working. So I would step away for a about four years. Well, there was a whole bunch of shit that went on around that time too ah with a couple of the organizations. and But I realized that to you know when Susan came to Toronto, it was like, I need to up my fucking game again here, folk. and It was just like, okay, let's get back into the circle and have some men making sure I'm doing my A game. And it was well worth it. It was. I can see that you found
00:40:44
Speaker
ah wonderful woman to spend your time with and yes You fuck up proofed your relationship with her Well, yeah, I don't know that I fuck up proved it but I had enough men holding me to small fuckups versus big ones and Yeah Yeah um Yep, and and now we're hoping to start another one with an awesome lady. So there you go because for any man who doesn't know that beautiful woman behind me is watching from heaven. There you go. Well, thanks again.
00:41:33
Speaker
Thank you for listening to The Sovereign Man podcast. If you're ready to take charge of your life and become the man you've always wanted to be, we invite you to join the movement at sovereignman.ca.