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The Great Debate: What Is Actually Worth the Effort During the Holiday Season?
473 Plays1 day ago
This week, Caitlin, Charlotte, and Megan tackle the big holiday question: What traditions are truly worth the effort—and which ones are just exhausting? With Kallie out this week (she’ll be back next episode!), the moms break down the pressure to “do it all,” from matching pajamas and endless school events to cookie swaps, holiday cards, and Pinterest-perfect expectations.
They share what feels overdone, what traditions deserve more love, and what they’re officially ditching this year. Plus, a very real conversation about where guests sleep, the raw chicken incident, and the current state of everyone’s car.
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Transcript
Thermostat Troubles and Heating Issues
00:00:00
Speaker
you were talking about the thermostat in there that we figured out the heat in the house with the exception of our bedroom. And we have one like there's 17 different thermostats in this house, brands, locations, whatever. Cause every time they would do an addition, they'd put a thermostat for that part, which I think is normal, but there's one,
00:00:20
Speaker
I've never heard of this brand. I'm not going to mention it, but this one thermostat in our bedroom, originally it wasn't wired correctly. It was set up wrong. And so the technician was like, oh yeah, they just, they selected it's gas heat, but you want to select electric heat because like your boiler runs off electric, whatever. So we did that, and that made it work. But every night I wake up, and it's like 60-something. It's clearly not whatever I've set my thermostat at, which is – there's a seven in front of it. And so I'm like, there must be a setting. Like, there's something that I'm not – because we know the boiler's working. The guy came and did all the things. But I can't figure out our thermostat. And so every night I wake up, and it's so cold.
00:01:03
Speaker
I would like that. But – I don't like, I, I feel you. We have thermos, different thermostats in every room in our house. Same thing. And some rooms heat up faster than the other.
00:01:16
Speaker
And you could put the heat on in one room, expecting it to heat instantly. And it takes forever versus the other room. You could just tap it and it's suddenly 800 degrees in there. And it's,
00:01:28
Speaker
ongoing battle in our house. Well, and depending where the thermostat is, so upstairs, the oldest part of the house, the thermostat is in Martha's room because that used to be, i don't, we don't know what it used to be.
00:01:40
Speaker
And then, but then Arthur's room next door has like 20 radiators. And so it's going to be 10 degrees hotter where he is because the heat doesn't ever make its way to the thermostat in Martha's room. So Arthur will be like,
00:01:54
Speaker
a little warm in here and I'll go up and it's just so hot. So it's like New York City style where we're going to like crack a window or whatever.
Introduction and Podcast Themes
00:02:00
Speaker
Yeah. Or you could, let Megan, you live in a newer home probably with just like your AC and heat is all one system.
00:02:09
Speaker
Yes. Well, we remodeled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had to do that. Yeah. So you're not, you don't have to deal with this. Yeah. First world problems. Yes, exactly. i forgot I was hosting this episode. i know, right?
00:02:24
Speaker
Welcome to Just For
Holiday Season Stress: What's Worthwhile?
00:02:25
Speaker
Moms. I'm Charlotte. I'm Caitlin. I'm Megan. And I'm Callie. We are regular moms talking about regular stuff like aging, parenthood, work-life balance, and figuring out what's for dinner. Again, a no-judgment zone to talk, laugh, and maybe cry about all the things women think about on a daily basis. Welcome to episode 39.
00:02:47
Speaker
Which is going to air, if you're listening, it should be like December 12th, I think, maybe, if I did my calculations correctly. And this week we're going to be talking about things that are actually worth the effort during the holiday season.
00:03:03
Speaker
But before I get into that, this morning I was walking out to my car and it actually helped me come up
Parenting Mishaps and Car Cleanliness
00:03:10
Speaker
with this. It helped me build upon this episode topic because I was talking to another parent and as we got closer to my car, I was thinking in my mind, If I have to open my car and get in, I don't want her to see the inside of my car because this person was not like, it's not like a close friend.
00:03:26
Speaker
Maybe she is going to judge me for the state of my car, but my car is just atrocious and disgusting inside right now. And I am not that person. i like to take good care of my car. I take pride in what my car looks like inside.
00:03:38
Speaker
But a couple of weeks ago, One child who shall remain unnamed barfed all over the inside of my car. Oh, gosh. Like windowed, tried to get out the window, but couldn't. And I cleaned it to my best ability. and Never enough.
00:03:55
Speaker
I still need to get somewhere to have someone detail the inside. And it's just like everything else has fallen apart around it. And so my car is disgusting. So I want to know what what the what is the state of your cars?
00:04:07
Speaker
Oh. Yeah. That was that was my my chat. Like, is your car, is the interior clean? Like, are you not embarrassed to open the door in front of people? Or are you me? I'm at a pretty consistent state of not detailed. all Like, that would be the money gift for me is to get it, like, detailed. But I'm pretty deliberate about always doing, like, a sweep at the end of the day. So I will look around and grab wrappers and all that stuff. So there's not like trash.
00:04:44
Speaker
At any given time, there's probably some sporting gear. You know, right now there's a couple things I'm hiding for holiday gifts. There's that sort of stuff, but I'm pretty good with trash just because that does- Like what about your floor? Like why my floors, I do have a toddler. So of course there's just to be shit everywhere, but- The floors of my car are so disgusting. no matter I could vacuum it every week. I don't understand. Ours are not great, but we don't have...
00:05:13
Speaker
We don't have that toddler food Cheerio crunch. Like we don't have that thing happening anymore. Megan is the interior. I feel like your car is really clean.
Culinary and Parenting Struggles
00:05:21
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. I'm annoying. I just got it cleaned. Yeah. I know.
00:05:25
Speaker
I'm like, you do you have like a good place by you that does a really nice job inside? Because I don't. That's the other problem. Oh, hashtag sponsored. So I feel like, to be honest with you, every day i have to take snacks and things out of my car from the kids every day. It's like the house to stay on top of it. I mean, I definitely have let it go. But yeah, if I don't – like I have a little vacuum I'll go out and then I have a bag of um wet wipes I keep in there and I wipe stuff up. And then when you have the carpool and the snacks and I'm like picking stuff and throwing it in the trash. Oh, yeah. Every day you have to do it. Otherwise –
00:06:02
Speaker
It's a mess. So mine's clean right now just because I got it cleaned. But otherwise, I'll do it, I'm sure, later on. The kids, like, they leave the yogurt, they eat the yogurt, and then they leave the spoon there. And, yeah, it's it's grimy.
00:06:16
Speaker
Yeah. We don't – I mean, I don't have yogurt in my car. It's mostly – Oh. I just have, you know, dry puke. Which sounds so bad, but i I think it's mostly the cleaning product that's still left there because I spent – Probably a solid hour cleaning it out.
00:06:34
Speaker
Puke is hard. You realize nooks and crannies pretty quickly with puke. Yeah, for sure. i just, you know, i have to let go of that expectation that I would have had a nice, clean, pretty inside car for a long time. Maybe when Arbor's older, but still, like, Eileen will bring in some kind of snack. She'll hide it in a tissue when I'm like, please don't eat in my car. We're only driving five minutes down the road. And then she'll leave the tissue in the car.
00:07:01
Speaker
With the boogers. Yep. Yeah. With something stuck in it. Something foul. So next up, I just want to talk about some mom fails. um And I don't have one because I was going to tell you guys about throwing Arbor's artwork out. And I talked about that in the last episode.
00:07:21
Speaker
So I don't know. Well, I have one that I think is a conversation starter because it makes me chuckle.
Dealing with Online Criticism
00:07:27
Speaker
I don't perceive it as a mom fail, but apparently the people of the internet do.
00:07:32
Speaker
Oh. I posted, so I'm redoing Oliver's bedroom and- Oliver's bedroom has an ensuite bathroom. And so one of the things that we liked about this new house, it is not a square foot bigger than the old house, but there's just a different layout of spaces. And so we can, all of the kids can have a bedroom, which is nice.
00:07:53
Speaker
And then, you know, my parents come to stay four or five times a year and there's a space for them to stay. which happens to be Oliver's room because that's where the en suite bathroom is. And so when we were divvying out bedrooms, that was part of the deal. It was like, who wants to stay where? you know Arthur wanted to keep his loft bed. And so we were like, unfortunately, you cannot have this bedroom because when Gammie and Poppy come to stay, that's where they're staying and they they can't do a twin loft. Yeah.
00:08:23
Speaker
And so then the other kids just, and Oliver said, I want, that's a good room. I want it. And we said, okay, well, here's the deal. You have to, you know, when they come to stay, you're going to go somewhere else. You cannot have it be a disaster. You're going to clean it up when they come to, you know, they don't stay off and blah, blah, blah.
00:08:39
Speaker
So I've just finished painting this whole room, designing, and it's got these motorized shades, partly because he wanted it, but partly because I know this is the guest room. So I want it to just be sort of somewhat pulled together.
00:08:52
Speaker
So I posted this, you know, innocently on TikTok.
00:08:58
Speaker
Thousands of people, and they're jumping on the bandwagon, are objecting to the fact that I have asked Oliver to leave his room when we have guests coming to stage. What?
00:09:12
Speaker
They think it is disrespectful. They are like, I grew up, you know, a couple of them who I'm, in my mind, they're like these 25-year-old millennials who, and you know, that's not millennial. What are they? Xennial? Zennial? I don't know. Whatever the heck it is. Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:26
Speaker
But they're like, I was traumatized. It never felt like my space. so Like they are in, they have feelings about this. And so I finally am reading this and I'm like, and they're like, you shouldn't have guests if you don't have a place for them to stay. Or like in my in my home, like just put them on a couch. And I'm like, so I posted on Instagram where,
00:09:51
Speaker
people actually know me and I think they're not just in it for the hot take. And I was like, guys, am I like, just, am I learning something unusual about myself that this feels totally normal and the way everyone is going to play it? Like we don't just happen to have a guest room. Like sure. a Great idea, Jan, but we don't, we just don't have a guest room. And The message that it feels like it would be sending my kids to be like, good luck on the couch, 80-year-old grandparents. like Yeah. Like, enjoy your room, son. Like, that feels like a much shittier message than, like, we're going to –
00:10:29
Speaker
you know, for the eight nights a year that there's a guest at the Smith house, you know, one of the kids is going to have to. That's normal. I mean, yeah that's completely normal. We grew up doing this all the time. Yeah. these people are like, have they not seen 16 candles? Have they not seen like Christmas vacation? Cause I, hairs but it's such a funny, I mean, I can't even be offended by it. Cause I'm like, I just really can't like make it make sense. But it has, it's been a funny talking point.
00:10:58
Speaker
Thankfully, every single 1% on my Instagram was like, you're the asshole. Don't make a move. And everyone else, like, this is how we grew up. Right. And I think that people on TikTok, a lot of them, as you said, are are very young and stupid. Right.
00:11:15
Speaker
I'm just sorry. it's true. They have no life. They've never owned a house in their life. And if they do own a house right now, bought it with their TikTok money or their parents bought it for them and they've never had children or hosted guests. Like that.
00:11:32
Speaker
Ugh, I'd be so- had the same- They were like, you should let them stay in your bed. And I was like, I could. But I was like, frankly, I think my parents would be more uncomfortable with that. Yeah. And like, we pay the mortgage. So guess who's in charge? Like- You. Yeah.
00:11:48
Speaker
Tough shit, little- Tough shit kids. You're
Holiday Activity Overload: What Really Matters?
00:11:51
Speaker
sleeping on the couch. If i I- mean, we don't have that ability right now to be able to let guests sleep in one of our kids' rooms because their options are a crib. Because yes, my- My three-year-old's still in a crib because then she can't escape or two twin beds side by side. And if you take the older girls out of their room, they don't have anywhere to sleep. And if you take the baby out, it just doesn't work.
00:12:14
Speaker
But, When we switch over her to a bigger bed, then yeah, she will leave that room. She might sleep on a pallet on my bedroom floor or bunk up with her sisters. But right now we, we set up a nice space in the basement with an air mattress. And I think that's nice. And if somebody, I could feel like someone would come at me for that.
00:12:35
Speaker
Like you put your guests basement. Yeah. Whatever. People always have something to say. I know. That's like where we we are now in our home, the way it's set up. We don't have a guest room. We are renovating. So the playroom's like a hangout room. And now we might have after six years, a guest room. But like when my mom comes to stay, she sleeps in bed with Ava.
00:12:55
Speaker
Yeah. And a clean bed. And my mom's like, I like spending the time with Ava and I don't mind it. And I always feel bad because I'm like, You know, Ava and Gianna could sleep together, mom, and you can have one of the rooms. And my mom's like, oh, no, I like being with Ava. It's not like either of us roll over. We're just like, and I get to spend time with her and it's it's fine.
00:13:17
Speaker
Yeah. i Yeah. I mean, I was. Whatever works for your house. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Megan, ah do you have any mom feels this week? Yes. I didn't cook the chicken enough at dinner. no Whatever.
00:13:32
Speaker
Happens a lot. But yeah, this past week it was like, oh, it's, it doesn't really look cooked and it cooked and it's kind of pink. And yeah, I was just like, okay, I'll just boil a pot and we'll have pasta for the 85th time this week. Yeah. So my mom, yeah, whatever. I try, you know, I'm trying. It's just I'm not, I don't always cook the chicken or the hamburgers enough or it's burnt. Do you put it back in to cook for the next day or you just toss it?
00:13:57
Speaker
I think we just threw it out. Chicken's crazy. was just, you know, it was like, you know. She's traumatized. Yeah, no more. It's like, well, that's what I said. i was like, I've had salmonella. I had it in college. I was like, it was the worst experience of my life. And I was like, just, yeah. I mean, you can microwave it, re-put it on the in the pan, turn the grill back on. But it was just one of those where I'm like, just throw it out.
00:14:19
Speaker
Yeah. i thought I thought of a mom fail. It has nothing to do with chicken or bedrooms, but I don't know why this popped in my head because i think collect I think both of you have talked about this before, like where you suddenly realize your kids don't have any clothes that fit them anymore. yes So this happened a couple months ago.
00:14:38
Speaker
We had one cold day and I was, I looked at my middle child, her legs are so long. She's, they're just so long and they keep getting longer and longer. And she's so narrow that, you know, whatever you buy her yes to fit the length is not going to fit up in her, in her butt. that's So I, done I, yeah, I thought I stocked up. i thought I did so good. There was some sale on some online site. I bought her like four to six pairs of pants.
00:15:04
Speaker
She came downstairs yesterday and she was mommy, nothing fits. She's like, what? po How? Nothing fits. And I think I dried them. like i think I put her pants in the dryer so they all shrunk up, which it's actually like...
00:15:21
Speaker
That's not a mom fail in my eyes because most people put their kids clothes in the dryer. But now that I have, you know, stretch arms strong in my house, I've had to air dry everything so it won't shrink. Oh God, no. But now the poor thing is no pants again.
00:15:34
Speaker
And she's so like, everything is high waters and her ankles are showing. So now I have to go buy new pants. Can you introduce her to leg warmers? Are they back? I love them. Not for flared leggings. Yeah, that's fair. Yes.
00:15:47
Speaker
We go through this too with Gianna because she's so tall. What is that store now that's back? Pacific Sun. I feel like they came in long. You know that? Yeah. Yeah. I know. Online. Is she wearing grownup sizes? Because you can get long at like Banana and Old Navy and Gap. But if she's like Oliver took forever to get into adult sizes.
00:16:07
Speaker
So we'd be getting like 16 and Yeah. We're just hitting it. We're just hitting it. And yeah, even the long ones. And same thing, Caitlin, I have to air dry stuff, which is it's so much easier to throw even the sweatshirts and the And the pants all in the dryer, but I have to air dry it. And yeah. And I hang it on the hanger on their closet door. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. I don't, why, when we were a little, did our clothes shrink that much or just, is I don't know. It's, yeah, I feel the same way. I feel like. If you throw one of their baggy sweatshirts because they like to wear eight sizes too big in the dryer, then it's like, did you put this in the dryer? And my response wants to be like, do your own laundry. It's annoying.
00:16:52
Speaker
Well, ah as I stated earlier in the episode that I had a conversation with a parent this morning that helped me come up with this topic. we got I got an alert on the way to school.
00:17:05
Speaker
I love when I get an alert on the little app and I'm driving to school. So I'm like, about to crash the car. Like why school closed? Is somebody's, is the norovirus there? i'm not sending anybody to school. What is this? And it was just a really sweet invitation to some holiday program that's going on. And i was like, okay, cool. So I just pretended I didn't read it. And I walked into the school and as I'm walking out, a parent who isn't acquainted stopped me and she's like, did you just see the invitation. And I'm like, I think it was just a ah sweet invitation, extending it from the church, because this is the church preschool over to parents.
00:17:45
Speaker
I don't, don't feel obligated. And she goes, but I just, it's that time of year where I just feel like there's so much and I can't keep track and I can't, Do it all. And I was like, funny, you should say that because that's what I had wanted to talk about on my podcast today. And it truly is.
00:18:02
Speaker
i am so completely overwhelmed with how much you're supposed to do during this season. And so this week's topic is the great debate. What is actually worth the effort during
Evaluating Meaningful Holiday Traditions
00:18:14
Speaker
the holiday season? And so if you think about it, everything that you're expected to do starting with hosting elves that come to your house. I have to be a host for these little guys that come in my home, apparently right after Thanksgiving, because it was on the calendar that that's when they were arriving. My kids must've seen the flight ticket or something. And so that you have matching pajamas, you have holiday photos, you have making cookies and giving cookies to the neighbor and collecting donations and blah, blah, blah, blah. blah
00:18:49
Speaker
and And you start to think like, what is actually worth all of your time? What is worth the stress? What is worth the money? And should we allow the outside world to dictate what is worth our time, stress, and money? Or should we just keep it to ourselves? So I wanted to start by asking you to think of three things that is overdone or just plain ridiculous. so And you can include stuff you see on the internet. Okay.
00:19:18
Speaker
That happens during the holiday season. And I mean, I can easily start, but I just went on a rant. So Megan, what are three, like, what what are some things that you think are overdone or plain ridiculous? And you could just like list it.
00:19:32
Speaker
Okay. I'm going to list them and some of them I fall into. i' I'll admit it. Okay. Yeah. I'm not going to like bullshit here. Okay. These Pinterest recipes that look all perfect and holiday, I save, I have like a ah saved on Instagram and TikTok to like make them with my kids because ah who do I think i am? And they never, ever look like the Pinterest photo. We've attempted like the reindeer and the this and the that. So I take a stab at them, but it's a waste of time. don't Don't do it. Just go relax instead or get a facial. Number two. Okay.
00:20:14
Speaker
moms who are so put together during the holidays. Okay. yeah And look perfect all the time. Okay. I got my ponytail going. I value sleep. I don't know how you have time for the the blowout and the, and the lashes and the perfect outfit for every single thing. I don't know. i don't know if maybe your husband helps a lot because in my house, yeah, I mean, no. And then those cookie exchanges are so – like I get it for the teachers, but again, it's like do these teachers really eat all these cookies? There's like 18 trays of chocolate chip.
00:20:51
Speaker
Do they enjoy it? They might say they enjoy it. Are they lying? I don't know. I just – the cookie exchange things for the school. You get the sign-up genius thing and you feel obligated to do it, and it's just like do they really – want to do it do they mean that many cookies because then some of the teachers are like I don't like to eat cookies from people I don't know you know I get that thing too where some you know rather than store bought I don't know there's a whole debate so those are my three just quickly yeah we're done Charlotte how about you I um
00:21:29
Speaker
Matching outfits are always tough for me. And i I appreciate that they're like leading up to probably a photo shooter or something. um Pajamas don't count unless grownups are included in that. because But i like anything matching, crip like that's just a layer of logistics that i don't know.
00:21:49
Speaker
um I... I have to say that like planning any big social event, I just, the logistics of that, if it works, it's great. And they're fun. We have friends who do a Christmas party every so often, and they will send out an invitation in like September. And so, you know, it's there, but just finding the time to do anything with more than one or two people, that is really challenging. So like on the, you were, I was thinking about the internet, you see all these questions.
00:22:18
Speaker
like massive white elephant parties when there's like 40 moms sitting around a room. And it's like, how did that happen? How did that happen? Yeah. um And then i don't have an issue with this. This is just something I've chosen not to do. Unless, are you going ask that next?
00:22:34
Speaker
Things that skipping? Or is this that? I mean, yeah, that's at the end. Okay. I don't know. Anything that is super, super over the top. I actually, it's one thing. I love like decorations here and there. But when people's entire homes are enveloped by the holiday, that's a lot to me.
00:22:53
Speaker
Yeah. When it looks like AI came in, it looks like an AI video. And you're like, there's no way you, I mean, my house is pretty done up. My, I'm a bit, it's pretty done up, but it's the same stuff every single year. So we just come out and like put, put the little dress on and then it wears it where you see these people.
00:23:14
Speaker
I mean, just it makes, it's too much. It's ridiculous. Listen, all of us are in the industry. So we know how the sausage is made. You know, the reality is that for the people who are putting garlands on every horizontal surface in their home, they're linking to the garlands or selling the garlands. They're probably making tens of thousands of dollars from the affiliate money that they're making when people buy those same garlands. So I appreciate that there is a business to most of the over-the-top decorations that we are seeing online. So that, I guess, might be just a PSA.
00:23:45
Speaker
But for me, I don't know. that doesn't The juice is not worth the squeeze for me to make my whole house filled with Christmas. Yeah. Because then you've got to take it all down. That's like...
00:23:58
Speaker
that's like Like, I always dread that. And ah you see these houses. It's like the the Christmas village at their own house. I don't understand it right? It's like there's garland in the bathrooms. and Yes. And there's garland in the – like, I'll put a garland on the mantle and we'll get a bunch of trees out and I'll put some little tchotchkes on – like, I love a house that's decorated for the holidays, but – I don't need to have like a Christmas plan for my powder room. I do have to say I've been influenced. It's on my list. We'll see if I get around to it. They have like the bows you can put on the back of like the, the bar stool chairs, like where, Oh yeah. I love that You know, I've seen it and I saw them Amazon and I was like, Oh, that's one way to dress it up. I mean, and you just stick them on the chairs. I think it would look pretty. That's not over. That's not overdone.
00:24:43
Speaker
yeah I don't have like a wreath on the fridge, you know, but, Not yet. You don't. Not yet. My thoughts on things that are overdone are when the schools...
00:24:57
Speaker
So sorry to say this, but ours art my kids' schools will have the holiday the holiday concert. Then they have the come to the class and do the holiday games with the kids that you're organizing. Then they have the holiday pie drive. Then they have the holiday coat collection. Then they have the cookies and cocoa night where you can come and decorate cookies and drink hot cocoa. And every year my kids get mad that I'm not wanting to do it all, but I'm like, this is ridiculous. How about poinsettias? Does your school do that? I got that email. Um, I actually, where they didn't sell them this year and I'm not going lie. Sometimes when they do a drive like that and sell stuff,
00:25:40
Speaker
It makes it easier. I don't buy poinsettias because they'll kill my cat. But yeah, like if it's like a wreath or something, I appreciate that. But the, the, the, the cookies and cocoa on a Thursday night, I don't want to go sit with a bunch of families in a cafeteria.
00:25:55
Speaker
And decorate cookies with my kids and drink hot cocoa. And I understand that maybe this is some family's only time to go do this together. And I appreciate that. But the pressure that I feel to go do it because my kids are like, everyone's going. it sucks.
00:26:11
Speaker
And it makes me feel like. ah crappy mom that I'm like, no So there's that. And then the ridiculousness of watching people on social media talk about the gifts that they either buy their children or their children's friends or their grandma's neighbor, or look at what I made for every single bus driver in town. And that's not realistic.
00:26:35
Speaker
It's ridiculous. And nobody has that amount of money. it's To go, i understand it's thoughtful to go out of your way and gift the mailman something. And I like to do that as well.
Making Charitable Giving Accessible
00:26:46
Speaker
But it's, people go over the top. And then it makes you feel bad for not giving everyone one of these gifts. Like what's wrong with not, like, why can't we just give everyone a a nice handwritten Christmas card?
00:26:59
Speaker
Thank you for doing X, Y, or Z. You don't have to go out of your way to to make them a, I mean, i don't know, the crap that I've seen. And so that bothers me.
00:27:09
Speaker
Yeah. The Christmas cards. I'm debating that this year. I see it. I like to do them and I don't do it for anybody else other than myself, where some people do them as an influencer thing.
00:27:22
Speaker
Like, look what I did. And now you can get free ones too. I mean, I saw people advertising their family Christmas cards at Halloween. I did too. Yep. That's not real.
00:27:34
Speaker
That's not real life. Your family didn't look, isn't going to look like that picture that you put on that car in in October when you do it and you're in your Christmas clothes and you send them out in December. So that, yeah, that's ridiculous. Well, so thinking about everything that's overdone, you then I want to think about what's not done enough because you have all of this stuff, but then I believe there are things that we don't do enough of and,
00:28:02
Speaker
what we want more of and traditions or moments that feel refreshing or underrated. Like we don't give them enough, you know, applause and the top what's at the top of my list. What's not done enough is saying, no, just say, no, don't go to the neighborhood cookie swap and don't go to, I don't know, that the random mom's,
00:28:31
Speaker
elephant swap or whatever it's called white elephant gift exchange, because a lot of times you end up spending money that you wouldn't have spent. And I do think a lot about money during the holiday season. And, you know, if I have to go to all of these things and I'm spending money to go to all of these things, when I could be putting that morning towards something else.
00:28:54
Speaker
So that's something saying, no, can you guys think of anything that's not done enough? Our preschool used to make it very easy to be charitable during the holidays, and it was a very concrete thing. They would identify families, and they would pass along just the data points, like three-year-old boy loves trucks, 12-year-old girl Taylor Swift, nothing else. And then our job was to go and buy
00:29:29
Speaker
whatever we wanted, usually two or three presents to give to this family. And it just felt like, it just felt like a really easy way to share you know, share our blessings. And it wasn't just donating into the void. Like the kids could go pick something out. Yeah. And I wish, I mean, I, I i fear that I feel, i just wish there was an easier way. I mean,
00:29:58
Speaker
I haven't done a lot of research into this. But there isn't. I have. Okay. So it's not easy to adopt a family anymore. like But I will say that what was beautiful about this preschool thing is that it was just right in front of my face. It was so easy for me. And the one thing that I'm not – like I'm already out shopping for my family, and sometimes the kids are with me. So it was just – I don't know.
00:30:21
Speaker
It was the preschool did all the heavy lifting for us. And I just, I wish there was a way, I know that there's so many families and people that don't, it, this is not a happy time or an easy time. And I just wish there was an easier way to sort of address that.
00:30:38
Speaker
And I know there's less easy ways, but that, I mean, to my point, like we're doing a lot. So I just, I don't know. I sound like a brat. but No, you don't. I mean, last year was maybe the first or second time I've only seen this and I've lived in this neighborhood for, I don't know how many years, since 2018. They did a neighborhood adopt a family and and they just posted it in our Facebook group. Here's You didn't know anything, but somewhat one person was in charge. Click this Amazon link right here and you can shop for this family. It will be delivered to the person's house who was in charge and they were donating it all or bringing it all to wherever it needed to go, which made it really easy.
00:31:22
Speaker
and the items on the list were not these outlandish, crazy things.
Embracing Simple Holiday Traditions
00:31:26
Speaker
It was a pair of gloves, a pair of socks, things that the family needed. And I, I loved, I love that. I, and it was easy for me to find something that fit into my family budget because I don't like, I can't, I would love to adopt a family. I would love to buy them everything they need, but I can't do that when I have to pay for my own, you know, like, yeah again, I'm not trying to sound like a brat either, but that's the reality of it is I don't have hundreds of dollars to just
00:31:55
Speaker
fund someone's Christmas. i I can't do that. But what I can do is I can buy them gloves and socks and maybe a pair of sneakers. Or this is something um our town did at one point where you could go into the sandwich shop and you could take, you could put a dollar in a, you could put a dollar in a, what's it called?
00:32:16
Speaker
A tin can. Like a tip jar or whatever. But all the money that went in there would go towards a meal for someone who came in. And if they couldn't pay for the meal themselves, then they could take this ticket and say, like, I can't buy myself this. And then they would take the money out of the jar and pay for it, which I thought was really nice. And that's something that would be nice. But I don't see that.
00:32:35
Speaker
I don't see enough of that during the holidays. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Like filling in the blanks. I know where we are here. Like when you go, they have a bunch of things during the holidays to like fill backpacks for the kids in needs. Cause I feel like it's good for our kids to see those things, not just during the holidays, but all year. And I've been meaning to take them sort of like what you were talking about. So they can, my kids, I should, I should, now that we talked about this, I should do that with them during the holidays. Cause
00:33:09
Speaker
I feel like that's something important. Just not done enough. Yeah. You can only do so much. And yeah, like, yeah you know, now even talking about it, I'm like, oh my gosh, I should, you know, give back more or do something with the church or they do have the, what is it? Donation is it's the coat. And then I feel like there's something else. I feel like sometimes it's gloves. There's just so many things during the holidays. It's like, how many things can we do? Right. Right.
00:33:38
Speaker
if we could all just pick one, some, you know, i I was wondering, you know, what's something that we need more of or want more of. And I'm really working in Charlotte. I got this idea from you is the homemade gifts. And so this year, that's what my girls are doing. Instead of going to the school holiday bazaar with all of their life savings and buying the most random tchotchkes and crap, and then wrapping it and giving it to every single human that they know,
00:34:07
Speaker
I told them they're making homemade gifts this year. So that's what we're doing. I like like that. Yeah. I also feel like family, like a little bit more deliberate with simple family time. Like, I don't know, just picking like a Christmas movie to watch together. Yeah. popping popcorn and sort of eventizing these small things.
00:34:28
Speaker
that I mean, I love that about the holidays because it doesn't occur to me as much in other times of year. But yeah something like that is when you feel like this time of year – there is sort of a magic to it. Yes. Right. or Or something that I wrote down – um And I know Callie brought it up was like casual hosting during the holidays. Yes. Versus having it be ugly sweater or, you know, wear something red or green where I feel like I don't think I've ever done anything casual during the holidays that I can remember everything so planned out. So it's like I don't it's yeah, it's there's definitely I know no chill.
00:35:08
Speaker
in my calendar, which I wish you would get a random text from someone. Hey, you want to go grab a glass of wine? It's chaos. And I got a lot of gifts to wrap. I feel like stuff like that is needed during the holidays. Just yeah. Last minute.
00:35:24
Speaker
I love that. So then part three of my three part topic was something that you have ditched that you felt like was overdone or something that moving forward, you're like, I am never doing this again. Cause you learned this season. This, this was just a complete waste of time. And I already said mine, which is I've put a ban on no more school holiday store. Like, I think it's lovely that all of the money goes, most of the money goes back to the school, but I just, grandma doesn't need another fake rhinestone necklace that says grandma on it. Like she doesn't need that. Make her
00:36:04
Speaker
walk around the house and find something in the house that you can do, like use to make her something. So I'm out with that. Charlotte, what was it you had said earlier about ditching something?
Rethinking Christmas Card Traditions
00:36:16
Speaker
We don't do, and by we, you guys know I mean me, we don't do...
00:36:23
Speaker
ah Christmas cards anymore. Yeah. I just felt like I did them when my kids were little because I was really proud of these little babies and I wanted to share the growing family. And then i just found that it was hundreds of dollars that I was the one addressing them all.
00:36:41
Speaker
And that half of them, like once we started doing it, half of them were going to people on Mark's list that I'd never even met. And that sounds sort of churlish, but it was like, I don't know, like it just felt like I'm spending all this money to sort of share a photo about my family. And listen, I love getting Christmas cards. I love seeing what people are up to. But for me, it was always the one thing that was like, I have to get this out before Christmas. And it was, and I know there's ways to automate it and like have the labels printed out, but it just, it was a huge cost that I just was like, it's, I do enough. Yeah. I think that this, this year is the first year I'm going to
00:37:22
Speaker
look at, I use the same list and it always grows every year of new friends and everything. And I straight up am not doing half of the people on that list because i know last year, i don't think they sent cards. So I'm like, they see my stuff on, they see my face on the internet. Like when I post my pictures of my kids and stuff, but family members that live in different towns, people that I consider close friends, like That I do want to do. And then people that are in town, I hand them.
00:37:53
Speaker
Like my kids will walk into dance with a stack of cards and be like, please give these to your moms. How much are stamps now? know Like 45 cents or something. i mean, that adds up. And, you know, what we're saying about giving back all the money we set spent on stamps, we could give to like, you know, write a check to a soup kitchen or something, right? Right.
00:38:13
Speaker
I mean, it's true. It's funny how binary my thinking is. There is a scenario where I get 50 cards printed out and I send it to friends and family and call it a day because there are plenty of people that I would love to keep in touch with. And it doesn't need to be like Mark's former boss from when he was whatever. Yeah. So that I should look at our list and see where it lands. Cause it's, you know, in social media means that I sort of know what people are up to, but I don't know. There's something – I save all our Christmas cards. They're wrapped up in a little bundle in 2022, and twenty two and it they're just there.
00:38:50
Speaker
so Or I've gotten from some friends, but i don't it doesn't have the same effect. Like the digital cards that are emailed through email, do you get any of those? No. No? Yeah. I'm the Yeah. No, it's not the same. And the kids like going through them and making funny jokes about like so-and-so from first grade. And, you know, it's like, yeah, no, it's, it's, but it is, it's a time and money and all the things during the holidays. a lot Yeah. I, see yeah. I saw, I, Megan, you said Christmas cards too. Yeah.
00:39:22
Speaker
I know. I want, you know, I usually, we take some kind of family photo and we haven't this year. So I was, Just because i've I just love photography so much, I was trying to think of something funny that I might do with my kids. And I'm gonna print it out super cheap.
00:39:39
Speaker
Might even just be just a picture. And on the back, my kids like to help with that stuff now. Right. We love you. Merry Christmas, the Houston's. And then that's it. like It doesn't have to be some super expensive you know gold foil envelope card. Card stock. These thick card stocks. Yeah.
Personal and Lighthearted Holiday Traditions
00:39:57
Speaker
you um don't you have a beautiful family photo from all your summer trips you take with your family you could probably use sure like i i like i do like to take my own okay and i also like to i we frame them around the house wait there's this like really funny picture i thought it was behind me of arbor two christmases ago and she's wearing like a santa outfit and her hat in a santa hat and she's like pat sort of passed out on like on the couch like this. And it's one of my favorite pictures of her ever. I snapped on my phone and I blew it up but it's, I put it out at Christmas now, like on the shelf and guess in the other room, um like a picture like that.
00:40:35
Speaker
Or maybe my kids just last year, I had a picture of them all just like sitting randomly. It wasn't staged. They were all just wearing Santa hats, like looking at a book together. And I knew bre my husband's family appreciated it where they live.
00:40:49
Speaker
in Ohio and never get to see us. so cute So I guess, you know, the whole point of my episode. Did Megan answer hers? Yeah. She said Christmas cards. Oh, was that the one? Yeah.
00:41:01
Speaker
Yeah. Um, you know, I don't have any stats or tips or anything like that other than, you know, when you're If you listened to our last episode and if you haven't yet, you should go listen to it. It's about just being drained during the holidays. Ask yourself what is worth your time and don't let anybody else dictate what you should be doing and what you shouldn't be doing.
00:41:26
Speaker
Like what's actually worth all that stress. that Do you guys bake Christmas cookies? This goes not anymore. We used to. And same with, we used to our aunt, one of our aunts used to host like a gingerbread house making party.
00:41:39
Speaker
You know, and everyone would bring something. And then, yeah, we don't – we haven't done that in a few years either. And i if I see, like, the gingerbread kits that are, like, $10 at Trader Joe's or Walmart or something, I might get a couple of those. And if there's a free moment, some of the kids will like to do it. But that's on them. That's independent. We will also do – mean, my kids are old enough where I can – sort of set it and forget it. I won't do, i do not mess around with cookie cutters. That's for the birds. But if I can do a slice and bake sugar cookie and let them decorate, like, that's fine. I don't care. Yeah. I i say this cause we, we are, everybody loves our, our family's Christmas cookies. And so we make them and we pass them out to people in like a little Ziploc bag or whatever. And that's something that's a good tradition i love.
00:42:27
Speaker
And I can't tell you how many times I'll do it and people will say, wow, I should really do this with my family. I'm like, no, you you don't have to. yeah just because you see somebody else making Christmas cookies every year doesn't mean that you need to go do it too. This is just something that we enjoy doing. And it's become, you know, we just yesterday had our Thanksgiving dinner that we make every year. We've started doing a couple years ago. um before Thanksgiving, sometimes after Thanksgiving, just so we have that food in our house because we never have leftovers. And so many people sent me messages being like, I should do this. And I'm like, no, you shouldn't. You shouldn't. Don't even think about it. Not unless you want to. like I'm not showing this off to be like, look what we did. It's so awesome. It's just, I'm just sharing one of our- Did you guys ever have-
00:43:18
Speaker
I can think of a handful of examples. People in your life, whether as a child or now, that would every year give the same thing. And every year you're like, oh. We had neighbors that would give, think it was shortbread.
00:43:34
Speaker
and it was fine. But it was like a big, like it was, but it was, it was never something that was like, yay, a big tin of shortbread. It was. Yeah. Yeah. yeah i mean, I guess a fruitcake falls into that category. Yes. Or some random gross,
00:43:48
Speaker
cooking something that they make. Yeah. i Fruit is always a tricky one because it depends, but that's a generational thing. It is. there Yeah. we get We get a little bit of that from some people. yeah Or you know what my dad's side did growing up and I should start doing it now. They have a gift that like they would recycle and give to each other every year.
00:44:13
Speaker
You know, and they would open it and be like, oh, I got it now. So then like you would give it to another person. And it would just be like funny because it was some like, I don't know. It was like a frame from like Christmas tree shop that was like a picture of a flower or something. I don't know. It was something like that. And I remember always giggling about it. I love the ones where people like go to grandma's house and grab like 10 things that they wrap up and then give to grandma. And she's like, oh my God. Or they give to someone else. And she's like, I have the same thing. And they're like, oh, you do grandma? Huh? So that, okay. Add that to our list of what's not done enough.
00:44:47
Speaker
Steal stuff from your grandparents' house and wrap it up and give it to them or your parents' house. um I don't, I don't know if I told you guys this last year because I didn't want to put it out there, but.
00:45:00
Speaker
The farting Not the farting cousin. um Did you ever see where like people send their parents Christmas cards from someone else? Yes. with like isn't Isn't there sometimes money or a Oh, we did it. Those are funny. We did it. did it your mom, right? Yeah. And we I like have the phone conversation of... We all recorded the conversations of her calling us and being like, was it you? We're like, it was not me. I'm like, Bible. I did not write that. It was not me. Someone maybe else did. ah Funniest, that was one of my favorite memories ever. And so...
00:45:39
Speaker
I don't know how we're going do it this year. Isn't it like, we really miss seeing you this year. We should get together soon. We hope you're having the best time. Like Tammy had a really good year at the firm and Johnny is doing great in school. Like we miss you guys from the Myers and it's something totally made, right? Isn't that legit? Yeah. Except we like called out stuff that happened really for real in my parents' life. Yeah. or That would make them question, did I actually meet this person somewhere and give them my address? So good. It was really good. It was fun. I i appreciate a good holiday joke like that.
Conclusion: Personal Reflections and Decisions
00:46:15
Speaker
Well, this brings us to our final part of the show, which is pits and peaks. And, um, I will start with mine because it's a peak and it is something that is over, not overdone. It's a little ridiculous. And I don't think I said this in other, or other episodes, but um because I was trying to remember if I did or not.
00:46:37
Speaker
But have you ever seen where people post a video and it's like the best thing to do at the holiday season is to go away with the moms that you love and get a hotel room and wrap Christmas presents and drink? Yeah. you meant I think you mentioned this a couple episodes ago. Oh, I did. Well, it's coming. it's yeah it's coming. It's almost here.
00:46:59
Speaker
And I'm really excited. That's fun. That's really fun. So I'm just... going to about it again. ah Charlotte or Megan, do you have a peak or a pit?
00:47:10
Speaker
Go ahead, Charlotte. um I have a peak. I just finished. I reached out to a company that I love, and they sent me wallpaper that I just hung in our front hall, and it looks so good. By now, it may I may have posted on social, but it looks so pretty. I can't wait to see. looks really good. Megan? Megan?
00:47:29
Speaker
Okay, so mine's like a pit maybe turned into a peak. So I think I've mentioned this a few times before, but I'm in the midst of it. We're changing our playroom into a hangout room. So it's been like six years of toys and playing and memories, and it's hard for me to let go of things. You know, I've donated a lot. I've given stuff away to friends and family and – So it's like, I would say it's 90% done. And Joe's like, you know, they're about to demo. And last night he was like, there's still stuff. And like, there's stuff in the basement. Can I just bring the dumpster and we'll just throw it all out? And I'm like, no, you don't understand. Like there's like memories in that doll that maybe like Gianna played with, or there was a Lucy, we called her Lucy. She was like with our family for like two years straight. So it's like, you have to go through this stuff, at least for me and save some of it.
00:48:20
Speaker
And I'm going to, you know, I have it in organized um bins and I have to store it somewhere. And I know it takes up space, but it's hard for me to like let go. I've let go a lot. Okay. Yeah.
00:48:31
Speaker
I feel that. But it's just, you know, in the little Super Mario figurines that Nico played with for two years. I can't let go of that. Yeah. So I have bins. I need to organize. I need to sell. But it's just, it's hard and I'm very sentimental and that's me. It is what it is. so I don't think there's anything wrong with that. When we go to my brother and sister-in-law's house, my brother's 12 years older than me. hill They've saved sentimental toys of my nephews because my nephews are in college. And they then my brother will pull out stuff that my mom saved for him that his boys played with and they said we're gonna save this stuff because these are and it's cool things like really things that are not gonna break it's you know figurines and dinosaurs and trucks that someday that they could give to their grandchildren and i appreciate that so i'm trying to think of myself when i finally have to go through all of our toys but megan i mean who knows lucy might
00:49:28
Speaker
Find a new home with a grandchild someday. Yeah, no, and I actually took Lucy out of the bin last night and put her in a dress, and I gave her to Gianna. I'm like, you can sleep with Lucy tonight. And she's like, this is so weird. I'm like, no, it's not. You're fine. Just like you're three again. My uncle is from my grandmother's second marriage, so he was like 12, 13, 14 years younger than my dad. And when he was growing up, the original G.I. Joes were – and they were like the size of Barbies. They were big.
00:49:59
Speaker
And so they had them all. And then at one point, my grandmother was going through things and she just was like, ah, she threw them out. They're legit. Like that is, yeah that was the lore in my house is that the, like, I think they're worth quite a bit of money. mean, this is, and not that that's why you should save things, but speaking of not a lot of sentimentality, she must've just been cleaning house and she dumped them. And so now in our family, it's always like, oh, remember grandma, when you got rid of the GI i Joe?
00:50:27
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, it's like they're original American Girl dolls. Same. i have I have those in a bin and Joe's like, can't we just get rid of these things? And I'm like, maybe like, can we keep two?
00:50:38
Speaker
I feel like there's like a ramp up, you know? Like when your kids, like when they're just knocking on the doorstep of being older, that's when you sort of want to hang on to it. And then, I don't know, when Nico's 18, you might look at this little greasy Mario figure and be like, you know what? We don't need Mario. Yeah. Yeah.
00:50:54
Speaker
and Agreed. part Good point. yeah It's worth no money. Right. Like beanie babies. yeah Oh, gosh. o Well, on that note, I hope no one has bought a bunch of garbage for Christmas for their kids this year that they're going to just stay strong. Stay strong. strong, folks. And say no to events that you don't want to go to.
00:51:17
Speaker
That's right. And we'll be back next week. Bye. Bye. I can't believe I can believe that I said the same thing. Because I probably would have forgotten but I just edited it.