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Finding Your Fall Rhythm: Morning Chaos, Mom Fails & Taylor Swift Talk
981 Plays1 month ago
Episode 29 of the Just 4 Moms Podcast is all about easing into the back-to-school season and embracing the rhythms of fall. Caitlin, Kallie, and Megan catch up after summer break and dive into everything from morning routines to the never-ending “mental load” moms carry.
We chat about:
- The great bed-making debate (should you make it right away… or let it “air out”?)
- Taylor Swift’s new album and why some of us might preorder every version.
- Mom fails of the week: whining phases, over-scheduling, and bedtime mistakes.
- Finding your groove in the midst of fall chaos — school apps, carpools, sports, and activities.
- Real-life tips for staying calm, getting organized, and keeping mornings a little less mayhem-filled.
Of course, we close with our Peaks & Pits, celebrating the joy of seeing our kids thrive this school year.
✨ Whether you love the cozy vibes of fall or feel buried under the endless notifications, you’ll relate to this episode’s mix of laughter, honesty, and mom-life hacks.
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Transcript
Sleep Positions and Facial Symmetry
00:00:00
Speaker
feel like my eyebrows are a little aggressive, but, you know. I think they look great. Better than, like, wonky. Every once in a while record an entire YouTube video and, like, one of my eyebrows is, like – like, I put a sweatshirt on, you know, how, like, they – Yeah.
00:00:14
Speaker
Yeah. Or, like, I look at my face sometimes head-on after recording things, and my eye doctor told me it's the way I – because do you guys sleep to the side or straight?
00:00:26
Speaker
I sleep on the side of my face. Oh, Callie, Callie, don't you sleep like this? So you're supposed to sleep straight like this, straight back. Like a dead person, yeah. But I go to one side and I said to her, why does my face and my eyebrow look crooked sometimes when I record? And she said, like, it could be like the way you sleep. It makes sense if you're like this. And I do.
00:00:46
Speaker
And I try to at night and then I just go to that. Yeah. yeah I'm really jealous of your sleeping position, Callie, because that's like a, it's a big thing. I was a stomach sleeper. I think I told you when I told I was stomach sleeper my whole life until I got pregnant and then I couldn't.
00:01:03
Speaker
And I remember like it really messed me up having to learn how to sleep. And then after that, I don't know about you guys. Like I have a friend and I remember we were pregnant at the same time the first time together. And then immediately after giving birth, she's like, we can sleep on our stomachs again. but like I.
00:01:17
Speaker
Not with nursing breasts. I couldn't. That was horrible. So it was just like, and then I just got pregnant again. so it was just like too long of not being able to do either a stomach or just full boobs that I couldn't.
00:01:28
Speaker
So now I just have learned to sleep like that. don't know. Wait, are your arms like this? Sometimes yes. Or sometimes like this. Sometimes yes. Sometimes yes. Yes. Oh gosh. I know.
00:01:41
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I was the same as you though. I'm a stomach sleeper on like one side of my face. And being pregnant and nursing, like that doesn't happen. No. But as soon as I was done nursing, I remember I was like, got all cozy in my stomach and I'm like, yes, I'm back. Yeah. I've tried a few times, like ah but it now it's just, it's been too long that I'm like, this is wrong and I can't.
00:02:01
Speaker
Yeah. we got we We got used to it and yeah. Don't mess up your brows, ladies. and sleep it cause They also say it's bad for your back. Like there's all these rules about different ways. So I'm like, part of me is like, just don't, don't go back because I know it won't be good for me.
00:02:18
Speaker
So I just get into my little coffin. It's true, Callie. Cause they also say, you know, now that we're getting older, like you're supposed to put a pillow under even like your knees yes and sleep straight back like that. But it's hard.
00:02:31
Speaker
Yeah. Even if I had one of those beds that moves where it would put you in the position, I'd end up on my side. So yeah. Yeah. I know. Well, once you're asleep, it's like, forget it.
00:02:42
Speaker
cool.
00:02:44
Speaker
welcome to just for moms i'm charlotte i'm caitlin i'm megan and i'm callie we are regular moms talking about regular stuff like aging parenthood work-life balance and figuring out what's for dinner again a no judgment zone to talk laugh and maybe cry about all the things women think about on a daily basis well
Return from Break and New Season
00:03:07
Speaker
i guess we should start Right. It's been a long time. And, ah you know, unfortunately, Charlotte couldn't be here with us today, but we've all been on this break and she's still she's got a lot going on
00:03:20
Speaker
So here we are, i guess it's episode 29. But I mean, I think is this season two? we have? I mean, yeah, like I was writing it out and I was like, should I put season two, episode one? But like season two makes me think of like that there was some big dramatic final season, like when I watch a show. And I was like, we didn't do that. So then I don't, I don't know.
00:03:43
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, maybe. Sure. Why not? I feel like season two is fair. yeah that's cute. I like that. Yeah. Okay. And then
Morning Routines and Bed-Making Debate
00:03:50
Speaker
if we change our minds, then next week with Charlotte season two.
00:03:53
Speaker
So it just doesn't matter. So I listened... to I've never been a radio listener. Like I don't listen to the radio. I just listened to like Spotify or a podcast or a book.
00:04:08
Speaker
But now that I'm working in an office, the radio's on all day long and I'm hearing morning shows again. And it's kind of fun because they bring up funny stories or do they do prank calls.
00:04:21
Speaker
But the other day the host was like, so i have a question for everybody on air. And everybody listening, do you make your bed when you first wake up in the morning? So I want to ask you, do you make your bed when you first wake up in the morning?
00:04:35
Speaker
Like immediately. So this has been sore, was a sore topic in our house for a long time because as we know, I get up before my husband. And so I couldn't make the bed when I got up in the morning. And it used to bother me forever because he wouldn't either. And I was like, you were the last one out of bed, make your bed in the morning. and And so I don't remember when it was. I feel like it was like right after Tate was born. I was like, just it's just one thing to do in in in the morning. And he started doing it. it's like, you know how once you start a routine, especially like that first routine in the morning, that like kind of gets you going for the day.
00:05:06
Speaker
And so he started doing it and now he makes the bed every morning. So I don't. But I mean, but someone does as a unit we do. And it makes it so much better. It sucks walking into a bed that's not made at the end of the day.
00:05:18
Speaker
Right. Megan, are you the same? Yes. I don't make it immediately, but every single day my bed is made. I put those throw pillows up, even though we have too many.
00:05:29
Speaker
And I will say I do this. And Charlotte's not here to tell me not to. I make all my kids' beds. Okay. So I do the same. i feel like I have read studies where they say that it helps you get started on your day. It's good to have a routine, yada, yada.
00:05:47
Speaker
Well, then I hear this radio show and they say that you should not make your bed immediately after waking up because it traps moisture from sweat off your body, which creates a warm, humid environment, which is ideal for your the dust mites that live in your mattress to thrive.
00:06:06
Speaker
And then your dust and the dust mites feed on your dead skin. So waiting to make your bed allows the mattress to air out. and dry, which will reduce your dust by population. That sounds like fake news because one, you have to remove the entire comforter and sheets.
00:06:21
Speaker
And two, just wash your sheets once a week. I mean, just wash them. And I think you're good. That sounds like somebody who doesn't like to make their bed made up there. That sounds like
Taylor Swift Album Excitement and Gossip
00:06:32
Speaker
I'm calling fake news.
00:06:33
Speaker
I mean, get it might be a little, like, can I use the word moist? But like, make your bed, you know? like And like being type A. Give it a shake. And being type a and so OCD.
00:06:44
Speaker
I feel better walking by everyone's rooms knowing they're made. My middle daughter will occasionally make it. I'll be like, thank you. I do repeat it and say it.
00:06:55
Speaker
But it's like, it's nice to come home and you're and it looks and it's all tidy. And then who wants the same thing? When you go to bed at night, you go in and the sheets are all folded and it's like cozy. I don't want to go in there and have them all messed up.
00:07:09
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. so ah I have, so I have night sweats on and off depends on my hormones. So I will now wait, like I'll go downstairs and have some coffee and then go up and make my bed.
00:07:25
Speaker
But I used to get out and yeah make it right away. But now I'm so disgusted by the fact how much I sweat. And then I'm just like breeding dust mites and I wash my sheets and yeah Once a week, maybe once every other week.
00:07:38
Speaker
I feel like we're two weeks. Two weeks at best here. Yeah. Depends on the person. yeah That makes me feel better. But I was i was like gro totally grossed out thinking about that.
00:07:50
Speaker
And you know how radio shows, they lead up to tell you something? So I was expecting it to be something really foul. And then I'm like, oh. Dust mites. Also, to be fair, aren't there dust mites on us just like right now?
00:08:03
Speaker
Aren't they live everywhere all the time? so Very true, Callie. I also feel like it it this reminds me of that story from when Charlotte was talking about drinking out of the... garden hose yeah and how they're like you can't do that because there's plastics and there's like well hold on you'd have to drink like gallons and gallons i feel like that's one of those like yeah i mean aren't there always just some dust mites anyways you'd have to drink out of the hose the whole day to really be effective that would just be like your your main water source right the hose um um and then my second thing i wanted to ask you guys about it's completely unrelated to dust mites and sheets is um and
00:08:42
Speaker
Callie, I feel like you're just going to just say no. Are you excited about the new Taylor Swift album? I didn't even know
Mom Fails and Fall Schedule Challenges
00:08:50
Speaker
there was one. So I'm sorry. I knew it.
00:08:55
Speaker
But Megan, are you excited? Oh, so excited. Well, we had to pre-order it coming home from the ferry this summer. Gianna was like, it's on Target. Go, go, go. And then you're like waiting in the queue to to ort to order the pre-sale CD. And it's like, I feel like I'm a ticket master, but it's not ticket master. And then like, we got it. I hope it's coming. Yeah. We got charged for it. If not, we'll figure it out. But yeah, yeah I'm psyched.
00:09:21
Speaker
I did the same. But what like blows my mind is they had that presale the first day she announced it. And then two days later, they had another album presale.
00:09:32
Speaker
And yeah every couple days, they're having more presales. And I'm like, why do you but do you need a different color of the same album? I don't I don't get it. Yeah. I know. And I was confused too. Like when you were shopping the presale, it was kind of confusing because there was like four or five different options and some included different, what was it? Stickers or something or books to go with it. I'm like, we just want the CD. I don't want any of that.
00:09:57
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Yeah. I was confused. Well, Callie, um, Taylor Swift has new album coming out on October 3rd, October 3rd. Got it. Noted. Yeah. Annabelle wrote about it on our calendar in our kitchen.
00:10:10
Speaker
And so is it are you guys getting an actual CD? I'm getting the record like okay album because we have a record player and we only have like four records and I want to grow my collection. Okay.
00:10:23
Speaker
But like, I mean, that's how I can't say that I've preordered music since like high school when you had to have a but like you don't have to have a CD now. But is that the only way you'll be able to listen to it You know.
00:10:37
Speaker
So on October 3rd, you could just listen. But you want the seat you because you're like mega fan. So you want this the but thing. I guess. I don't know. I think I got all involved in the hype and just ordered whatever the heck I ordered. I'm not going to lie because I love her.
00:10:52
Speaker
So, yeah. do you have it mean And I understand, like, supporting her. Like, I understand that, like, you want it. Like, you know, like a real book instead of the Kindle. Yeah, I'm not sure what I ordered. All I know is I ordered something. That's a good point because I don't even know if we have CD player.
00:11:07
Speaker
Maybe it'll just be like a link and they let you download all the songs. I'm not sure. I mean, you could technically download it for free on Spotify at midnight that night. like You know what? If it ends up going in a room on a shelf, I'm fine with that too because I love Taylor. And I hope I get an invite to the wedding, just saying. Yeah.
00:11:26
Speaker
yeah this is also you guys will appreciate this how out of pop culture I am. I think I did hear about it in the day ish within 36 hours of it happening. But I heard it and the so that whoever I heard it from the radio person said Taylor Taylor's they're getting get in hit. i forget the way they said it. I thought that they got married like I thought they had a secret wedding.
00:11:48
Speaker
So then I spent like a day or two assuming they were already married. And then somebody had to be like the engagement. And I was like, wait, I thought it already happened. So that's how far removed I am. But um I don't think I'll be invited.
00:12:01
Speaker
Yeah. She won't invite me because I wrote a whole blog post about how she doesn't need to be with Travis Kelsey. So yeah, I wouldn't be, I don't think anyone's going to be invited.
00:12:13
Speaker
I just, I don't understand how they're going to get married and Rhode Island without people showing up. See, i I saw that news too. I think that's all fake news.
00:12:26
Speaker
I don't see her having a small wedding in Rhode Island. i I don't know why. I see her having a big lavish somewhere, right? Or am I wrong? She doesn't seem small. Like, I don't know. don't think, I think she's small, but I think he's big. Big, yeah. Yeah.
00:12:42
Speaker
I don't know. I know. they did I did read that she's doing renovations, million-dollar renovations to her home in Westerly, and that's where they're saying the the wedding will be. But who knows?
00:12:54
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Callie's like, I don't really care. i i i have no thought. I mean, I have no guesses. You guys know her. i just, like, don't – Celebrities usually – it's secret, and then like, people think they're going to something else, and then they're like, surprise, it's a wedding.
00:13:09
Speaker
Wait. Don't they do that? Totally off topic. Don't get mad. I'm going to share this really fast. Talking about celebrities. The other night, Joe was picking up food for our daughter, Ava, and Blake Lively was walking into ballet class.
00:13:23
Speaker
This was two nights ago with her daughter. she Joe like told me, and of course he doesn't really care. and he was like, the daughter had a messy bun. Cause you know, if you're a dance mom and the bun isn't good, it was just cute how he got home. And he was like, so Blake Lively walked by with her daughter going to dance while I was getting Eva sushi. And the daughter did not have a good bun.
00:13:46
Speaker
Oh my gosh. That's really funny. You're going to need to so she lives near you and does ballet there? I feel like she lives in, uh, is it Pound Ridge over this way? i think. Got it. Yeah.
00:13:57
Speaker
And yeah, and it was definitely her because everyone was talking about it. But, and of course he said she was gorgeous. But how could she have her daughter dance there and there's no one stalking? Yeah.
00:14:13
Speaker
I feel like maybe she's just, no, don't know. But maybe she's just trying to be like a real person and, you know, thats I don't know. Yeah. I mean.
00:14:25
Speaker
I hear that they are raising their four kids over here, so I don't know. And they, you know, you see them here and there, but she was just with her daughter all by herself, acting like a real person.
00:14:35
Speaker
So maybe. As she is. Yeah. That's fun. yeah should have You should have had your husband tell Dumois that you had a sighting. Yeah. Yeah. No, he had it confirmed by someone else too. he was They were like, did you see who that was? Tell your wife. And Joe came home. Yeah.
00:14:52
Speaker
So, I mean, 99%, 9% sure it was her. So,
Adjusting to New Roles and Work Outside Home
00:14:57
Speaker
anyways. On to the next thing. Well, it's been a long time since we've talked about our mom fails. And when I was thinking about this episode, I was like, there's... hi I don't even know. i don't know where to begin.
00:15:12
Speaker
But there is something... that I'm going to say that's been just a fail of life and raising my kids. But do you guys have any good mom fails this week before I share mine? and i have one. my two-year-old, he's almost two and a half. It's just kind of going through that like whiny phase when they're two and they whine. And it's not my first rodeo. i know how to deal with whining. But it's just...
00:15:39
Speaker
it's grating on me. And I just like, I'm like, be a grownup Callie about it. But it's just, I feel like when he gets in a really whiny phase, I'm like, I know I have better tools in my arsenal than to be annoyed about this, but i it's just been getting under my skin.
00:15:55
Speaker
I feel that. yeah Yeah. It's, it's, it's hard in the patients, right? It's just like, you just want to be like, shut up, but you can't. No, no. yeah In my head, I say it.
00:16:05
Speaker
And then I'm like, you know, say it back. Can you ask for your milk, please? to Say milk, please. Anyways, I just, yeah. Well, I hope he stops soon.
00:16:18
Speaker
It gets, it we're, yeah, I mean, I'm sure we're towards the, um again, I've done this before, so it's not, you know, you know when you've done it before and it's like, you know that that's, but it's still irritating either way. Yeah.
00:16:29
Speaker
How about you, Megan? So my mom fail is the fall schedule and messing it up a few times. It's just trying to get used to it It's all in the calendar. I mean, you log in and you see it and it's just like, good God. Like, it's just, there's so many things going on every day when these, it's like from two 30 to nine nutcracker, we're in nutcracker rehearsals now.
00:16:54
Speaker
So just in general, the false, I messed it up a few times already, even though it's right in front of my face and the you know picture day and Nico could care less, but the girls, it's so important. So yeah, it's just it's it's just in general for me is the fall schedule and I've already messed it up. So that's my fail.
00:17:13
Speaker
I don't know, whatever it is, what it is. Yeah. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that right now. Cause I can. my ah My fail is I made the mistake of I don't know when I started it, but every night when I would put Arbor to bed, i would talk about what we were going to do the next day. Like, I don't know why.
00:17:37
Speaker
i don't know why. It was like a cute little thing. Like, oh, and tomorrow we're going to go to Costco. oh and tomorrow we're going to go on vacation. So now every night she, before bed, it's what are we doing tomorrow?
00:17:49
Speaker
And then the first thing she says every morning is what are we doing in the morning? And then in the middle of the day, what are we doing today? And sometimes if I'm lucky at night, what are we doing today?
00:18:01
Speaker
And I'm like, no, no, no. no no that's Now we're in school mode. Like there, there is no doing you, you're going to school and then you come home and it's driving me nuts. And I don't know how to, it's cute, but I know I'm going to keep telling her about exciting things that are happening. So I don't know what to do.
00:18:19
Speaker
I have a trick. I
Managing Daily Chores and Routines
00:18:20
Speaker
don't know if it'll work because she's already stuck on the – I don't know where I got this tip. It was somebody like was talking about if your kid's really like amped up at the end of the day to try this.
00:18:30
Speaker
And they say you literally just talk through what they did that day with like – um emotion is not the but like no commentary so it's not like and you really loved that and it was so fun you're literally like so let's talk about what we did today this morning you woke up and we had waffles and and you like literally just go through the mu mundane little moment and so maybe that'll like shift it a little so when she's like what are we doing tomorrow you're like let's talk about it might work but it works with my kids sometimes when they're really like chat they kind of just like it like settles them for the day to like go through younger kids obviously i know arbor's younger to go through like the little and then you did this and then we did this and i'm sure she'll be like and what will we do tomorrow but know maybe it'll slowly shift the the nighttime habit all right i'll try that comes to mind and i know callie you were great all summer not doom scrolling like me
00:19:22
Speaker
Did you see the real, of like the mom that's like at the pool all day with her child for like six hours and then the kid gets out and it was like, what are we doing after this? You know, like. That was us.
00:19:34
Speaker
That was my entire summer. We went on so many trips and vacations and had all of these things. In August, I was like, we're doing nothing. And my kids were like, that's unacceptable.
00:19:45
Speaker
You know, like. Absolutely not. We need an itinerary every day. And I'm like, we're doing nothing today. I'm not even leaving the house. I'm not changing my clothes. So, yeah, I mean, yeah, it's I lived that.
00:19:57
Speaker
Yeah. Well, now that we are out of summer, i mean, technically, and I am just I don't agree with the whole fall doesn't start until whatever date I just fall as a feeling.
00:20:10
Speaker
before it becomes the actual season. It's deep down. didn't know you had such a passion for fall. I'm kind of liking this. I love fall. I love it so much because it leads into just my favorite holiday season. hu cho And i get i do get like annoyed last month when people were sharing fall stuff. And I have actually stopped scrolling and now...
00:20:38
Speaker
Every time something pops up I don't like, I say not interested to really just hone down on what I'm seeing. But I'm like, it is 98 degrees outside. Please stop showing a skeleton in your stories. Like, just please listen to this.
00:20:52
Speaker
yeah But, you know, it's it's September and we're in our new school year routines. Some
Back-to-School and Technology in Family Life
00:20:58
Speaker
of us have been in school longer than others. I mean, this is our first full week. Callie, I think, is your first full week, too.
00:21:07
Speaker
honestly don't. Like, You don't know. You're like, I don't know what day it I don't even. Yes, it is for. it is. Yes. Yeah. Because last week we had and everyone had Monday off because it was Labor Day. Yes. And Megan, I think your kids are like pretty much same schedule as mine. Yes. Yep.
00:21:22
Speaker
We're just we're in it. And. I was thinking, you know, we're all in it together and there probably is a study about this somewhere about what happens when the fall comes and how parents are feeling.
00:21:39
Speaker
So I looked up some information. And according to a recent poll of a thousand parents, they say that mornings are their craziest time of day.
00:21:51
Speaker
And usually the chaos begins around 7, 16 AM. And of that that is when the, fifteen yes, peak chaos, which for me, honestly, it starts a little earlier because now I have to leave with my oldest to drive her to school 7,000.
00:22:09
Speaker
30. So my peak chaos is usually about like 10 minutes before that, maybe 7.06. um But I'm sure it varies for everybody, but there is some time in your morning when you're just, you know, that the bells and the whistles and the music and the screaming and the crying is all happening at the same time.
00:22:25
Speaker
And most of the, another survey I read says that 71% of the mom it's the moms who are carrying the mental load.
00:22:39
Speaker
It's, it's not the dads. And obviously that's not the same in every household, but, um, it's, it's moms who are planning the meals, managing the schedules, um, in charge of the household tasks.
00:22:50
Speaker
And we've talked about this before, you know, when you're, you're mental load, it's invisible, but it's actually there. So I know we're all feeling it and, um, I certainly am in a new chapter of my life where I'm working outside of the home three days a week and my husband now has to take the reins. And so we still haven't fallen into that routine. So right now it's just overwhelming.
00:23:15
Speaker
And I want to get into my fall cozy mode. Like I just want to get excited and we decorated last weekend and put like little pumpkin and leaves out in the house. And I can't really embrace it because I'm just still not there.
00:23:30
Speaker
And I feel like a lot of parents probably can relate to this. um I know that you guys have already kind of mentioned you're in the mud over there. Megan, you in particular. Yeah, no, I feel like getting back into it it, almost takes like a good solid three, four weeks here of just being like, okay. And I love routine.
00:23:51
Speaker
And I do love the summer. I'm Megan summer. Summer's my favorite. But ah the fall is great too. And it's just getting in a rhythm. And I agree with the mental load. I know in my house, I'm in charge of, you know, enrolling the kids in the activities and, you know, paying the the bills for them. And of course, my husband will help if I ask him, but it's just kind of always been on me. So I just take it upon when I probably should be like, you know, can you help
00:24:23
Speaker
he will help with the driving that helps because I feel like when those kids get off the bus from two 30 till nine, it is driving and 8 million different directions.
00:24:35
Speaker
But another thing too, is all, I feel like my kids all want to go to these fall activities that they're enrolled in. So that's a good thing. Everyone's happy. I'm not forcing anyone to do anything that they don't want to do, but it's just, we just had, you know, Labor Day and then we had my son, he turned eight. So, you know,
00:24:53
Speaker
throwing a birthday in there in between the start of school. And I feel like that's a pressure too, because you want it to be nice. And I feel like we've, the parties we haven't, I used to do so over the top.
00:25:07
Speaker
Now, as I've gotten older, it's definitely not as much, but it's still, you know, you you got to send out the invite, you got to you get the cake. You ah like, he wanted to do a soccer theme. So I had to have someone come to the house. So it's like extra time and following up. So it's just,
00:25:22
Speaker
so the mental load of making sure that you don't mess anything up. It's stressful because i don't know, just do not in my i mean do the dads really stress about those things? They're probably like, whatever, it'll figure stuff. I don't know.
00:25:35
Speaker
I don't know. Do they? i don't know. I mean, my this is the first year Brandon really does have to know the kid's schedule. I mean, he, and on Fridays, he actually has Arbor because Arbor only goes to preschool Monday through Thursday. She can't go on Fridays. And so He and my mom are coordinating now who's going to take her so he can do meetings. And i was like, I'm out.
00:25:57
Speaker
I'm not the middleman. If you guys want to text about this, you text about it. And just this morning, my mom texted me and she's like, I might have to go to the office tomorrow. And I said, wrong person. It's not me. Because i can't i can't be in charge of scheduling that too.
00:26:11
Speaker
And Brandon's never had the apps on his phone for the kids' schools. And now he has to have them. ah That's a whole whole different ball game too. All those apps now for every sport and team and then the email too. It's just, it's a lot. my it does Do your phones ring all day of just everything with the with the sports and the dance?
00:26:32
Speaker
It's just, it's, yeah you don't want to there's a lot to read. I mean, like really it could be a part-time job making sure you read every single thing about the snacks. Someone forgot a ball. Did someone see... Joseph Spall from practice last night. i was just like, oh, good.
00:26:49
Speaker
You know, don't know. Well, Callie, I'm interested in how you're navigating this all because you have your you so Do you have your dumbmp phone ah dumb Yeah, my dumb phone comes in like a week or two. so this has been so my husband, for those of who don't know, has had a dumb phone for like two years.
00:27:07
Speaker
I have a dumb phone that's coming. it's supposed to come in the next like two weeks. But so I have not I don't have any of the apps on my phone because I'm like, I need to be prepared for when I don't have them.
00:27:17
Speaker
So the app that my son uses at his elementary school is fine. I can do everything on the desktop. It's not an issue. i actually get like a text when the teacher messages me in it. So like, I don't, I don't feel like I'm missing something important, but at our preschool, it's not like that.
00:27:36
Speaker
Like I don't get texts and I don't, that you can't message the teacher from the desktop. You can't do anything. And so I don't know. I mean, luckily, her preschool is small enough and my son went through it. So like what this is like our fourth or fifth year there at this point. So like I know the teachers. So like I can kind of just chat with them and text them instead.
00:27:55
Speaker
But that is a tricky hurdle. And I don't know what we're going to do when we start to get into situations where we have to have the app. There was something that actually just came up where we had to have an app and I was like, i we don't have it. Like I don't have the app.
00:28:11
Speaker
And so, so far we've been able to find workarounds for everything or like people have been able to work with us. But yeah, I just, I can't, I can't do all that. So many notifications stresses me out. Yeah.
00:28:22
Speaker
And it's hard because some of the no notifications are very important. Like they're things it's like, it could be as stupid as somebody forgot their ball. Not that Joseph doesn't need to find his ball, but like, I don't need to read about it at five o'clock while I'm getting dinner ready.
00:28:33
Speaker
And the other one could be telling me like, don't forget about a very important piece of paper. So for me, because now it's all off my phone, I do it on my computer Like I have set time. I come in and like, I'm going to sit and I'm going to go through them all.
00:28:47
Speaker
I feel like it works better for my brain to take like 20 minutes at the end of the day to read all of the messages that way. um Yeah. I don't know. It's a, we're navigating it. Yeah. We are elementary school. The app that we use messages us all day for certain things like fire drill.
00:29:05
Speaker
um What's the thing called?
00:29:09
Speaker
where they practice, my brain just went blank. Like band or chorus or something? No. Instruments? No. Drills, different drills. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like like a lockdown. Yeah, lockdown drill.
00:29:20
Speaker
on And my phone will let us know when that's happening. And the girls are at two different schools. So it's, I mean, and I feel like it's happening every other week. They're doing all these drills. But last year, for example, there was a lockdown in place, put in place.
00:29:35
Speaker
And I can hear the sirens going to the school. So I was like checking my phone, hadn't got the lockdown notification, hear the ambulances, hear the sirens. All the parents start texting, trying to figure out they had to do a lockdown because someone fell and was injured. That was a teacher and they didn't want, I don't really know still to this day what happened, but it wasn't like a violent lockdown.
00:30:00
Speaker
It had to do with safety of the teacher that was injured or that had fallen or something. Needless to say, I've thought before, like, I need to take this app off my phone because it drives me nuts, especially if I'm getting notifications for stuff my kids aren't part of.
00:30:16
Speaker
But then I have to keep it on there for everything else I know. Yeah. What if you had like a family iPad or something? Yeah, so well we have a um we haven't we haven't even had to use it yet because we've been working around it. But we have like it it basically looks like an iPhone, but it's an E-screen. I can't tell you the brand.
00:30:35
Speaker
And we installed it in our living room. um And so we and our our thought was like, oh, well, we'll put like the Stop and Shop app on it for when we need growth. But we've been we've literally been able to do everything from our computer, so it hasn't been an issue for us. Or we've been able to get text notifications for like the important stuff.
00:30:50
Speaker
So for us, we haven't needed it yet, but that was our solution was like, we'll have a, you know, a whatever. And the idea was with the e-screen that, you know, you could download technically any app, but like takes away any of the interest to try to like scroll yeah Instagram on an e-screen.
00:31:07
Speaker
So yeah, that's the solution. I mean,
Settling into Fall Chaos and Mental Load
00:31:09
Speaker
I know a lot of people now that, you know, Michael's been in the, we have, we use Light Phone now that we've been in that community for a while. There's a lot of people who they have a iPad that they use. And like, that's either they use it when they're at home or, you know, that's what they first, because there are some apps you just, you cannot,
00:31:24
Speaker
there are not desktop versions or the desktop is not compatible. So there's a lot of people who do that instead. But I find like, I don't know about you guys, for both the one that is used at my son's school and my daughter's school, along with getting texts if you need them, like they also send me emails.
00:31:38
Speaker
yeah like i get yeah So I'm getting the, I'm like, I'm getting a notification on my phone. I'm getting a text. I'm getting an email. And so I'm like, I'm i'm not missing. I haven't missed anything. Yeah. so So it's hard because they make you feel like you're going to miss something so important, you know, and then we have this, yeah, the stress that like, well, what if there's a lockdown? And I just feel like, i don't know if there's a lockdown. I would know. I don't know. There's enough people.
00:31:59
Speaker
I haven't missed anything important yet, I guess. So. So
Balancing Children's Activities and Personal Needs
00:32:03
Speaker
going back to this, the, the theme of the episode with the chaos of the fall, but um you have children in two different schools now.
00:32:10
Speaker
How is yeah that feeling? So far. Okay. i don't know. Yeah, this is our first time having. and The schedules line up fairly well.
00:32:20
Speaker
we like I'm able to drop one off and get to the other drop off, and it works out perfect. Pickup didn't work, but we put my son on the bus. This is his first time on the bus, is great. It wasn't too, he wasn't on it too long. That was like my worry to like stick him on the bus and he loves it. He thinks it's great. And it's actually, you know what the bus, this is not exciting to any of you because I'm sure you've been doing the bus for years.
00:32:41
Speaker
It's so fun. We like, we're out there and we're like saying hi to our neighbors and we're like chatting with people. Like it's, I don't know, like being part of, this is our first time in the public school. So it's just like, I don't know, there's like community feeling that's like really fun.
00:32:53
Speaker
Oh no, I'm a new bus parent. Oh, are? Yes. My kids have never taken the bus before. um and Honestly, i found out because we, it was scheduling.
00:33:04
Speaker
I mean, I have yeah three kids in three different schools. Only two of them are semi-close to each other, all with different start and end times. And the pickup at the end of the day for Brandon and I, the way that we would have navigated it would have only been able to be one parent doing it.
00:33:23
Speaker
And you would have been in the car for like two hours. Yeah. It's just insanity. Yeah. We talked to the girls and i said, you know, I know we've never done the bus. We always kind of like we're against it because people don't like it.
00:33:36
Speaker
And both my girls were like, well, I think it was just you. it was just me. But so they they take the bus home and. No.
00:33:47
Speaker
Yeah. They both take the bus home. My middle child takes it to school and I love it. Everyone goes, it's right in front of my house. We go outside and say i hi to all the parents. And yeah, I feel like yeah we're bus people now.
00:34:00
Speaker
The bus is convenient. We love the bus over here. We've been on the bus since day one and it's like cool to go on the bus. The only thing- We had issues here in our town where we live. There's a new bus system or company. And poor Gianna, it kept driving by her for like the first four days when she was outside.
00:34:20
Speaker
Finally, I went out there and I even was waving once like, stop. And he wouldn't stop. And then I finally talked to someone and they were like, oh, we'll add her in. And sorry for the confusion, but I'm like, pick her up. I don't want to like you sit in that traffic to and from. That's a whole 40 minutes. i don't yeah I don't want to have...
00:34:39
Speaker
be bothered with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The bus is a game changer. i feel yeah like I'm team, but miles is already like, can I take it to school? And actually logistically doesn't work for him to take it to school.
00:34:50
Speaker
Cause I, it's like when I'm taking Finley to, but next year when Finley's in kindergarten, I'm like, maybe you guys can take the bus together to school. So yeah, very team bus. I love it.
00:35:01
Speaker
Yeah. That definitely alleviates a little bit of the chaos, but it's, then they come home from school and we haven't started dance yet. That starts next That's it. When you were like peak chaos is seven. so I mean, the morning's sure getting everyone out the door. Don't talk to me. It is after they get home from school. That is the peak chaos for me.
00:35:24
Speaker
They're like madness. They've been sitting, not sitting all day, but you know, they've been on their best behavior, you know, when they've been trying to be good for their teacher and then they get home and they unleash it all on you while you're like trying to make tacos and you're just like, it's just too much.
00:35:38
Speaker
And you guys running to 8 million, I just, yeah, it's just too much. We haven't, I, yeah, I'm scared. ah Well, and then, and then my oldest tried out for cross country and i was so excited.
00:35:51
Speaker
First of all, because I'm not a runner. Like I don't like to run. I was only on cross country and track for the social aspects growing up. And I was always in last place. And when she said she wanted to try out, I'm like, good luck.
00:36:07
Speaker
Yeah. And if you can't run, it's okay. She's a runner. That's awesome. Cool for her, but it's every single day of the week practice. Pickups at four o'clock.
00:36:17
Speaker
I work until four. Eileen gets off the bus at four. So we've had to navigate like this whole, that's a mess. And then both girls are dancing. All three girls are dancing now in the middle of the week.
00:36:33
Speaker
And I'm just, next week is going to be a test of my patience. and Yeah. We have two in travel sports, one in field hockey and soccer, and it's just like navigating that with the dance.
00:36:47
Speaker
And again, they're happy. They want to be there, but it's just the rides and we're in charge of driving. And I mean, you can carpool and teamwork with that. But, you know, sometimes i feel like in my house, we did a basketball carpool with four other moms. We had this like organized spreadsheet this past winter. It worked great.
00:37:06
Speaker
But then like, you know, Nico would always be like, but I just want you to drive me. So it's like you feel that guilt. But then, like I said, sometimes moms step in and organize the carpool. It's just.
00:37:17
Speaker
We're all juggling it and figuring it out together. It's just, you know, trying. it's you' It's just my my head spins. lot And it's funny that you bring up the thing about Nico. So one of the things that happened this summer is my mom moved.
00:37:30
Speaker
She was living New Hampshire and she moved. yeah So she lives like eight minutes from us, which is so great. So now she's she's a part-time job, but she's available to like help with stuff. So there was a few times that she, like she took Finley to...
00:37:43
Speaker
It wasn't the first day preschool, but it was like the the first full day back to preschool. And then she did something from, I picked up miles from school or she was the first one to get miles off the bus because I had a work commitment that I, And I remember me being like, there's this like little part of me that's like, I'm missing.
00:37:58
Speaker
I feel like you feel like you're missing things, you know, and then you're feeling sort of guilty about. And then I'm like, well, that's stupid. Like, I don't need to feel guilty. They don't like get him off the bus. Not everything is this like monumental, but there is this like little piece of It's like you're trying to manage all of it. You can't do it all. And then when you do figure out this like great system, you still feel guilty that like yeah you didn't miss something or. Yeah. yeah Yeah. We have a.
00:38:22
Speaker
ah field hockey game and Nico's doing flag football and they're both at 10 a.m. the Saturday. So how can you be in two places at once? And it's I'm like, I'm going to have to tell him. I mean, I'm sure he won't mind.
00:38:35
Speaker
But I feel bad. um I try to go to all their games if I can, and yeah I'm going to have to miss it. And, you know, and again, it's not a big deal, but it's just, oh, okay. I'm sorry, buddy. I'm not going to be there, you know? I know. You still feel bad about, yeah. Yeah.
00:38:49
Speaker
You know how there's, I mean, I feel like every single night there's some kind of event going on right now. I think we're double booked tonight. There's like a preschool parent interest Zoom meeting, and I also have to go to the open house at the middle school.
00:39:04
Speaker
And A couple days ago, there was a back to school ice cream night, but it was the middle school and it was geared towards the new students because we're sixth to eighth grade and um they could learn about all the clubs that they could join.
00:39:20
Speaker
So I tell my daughter, I'm going to bring her. And then for my mental health, I have a non-negotiable 6.30 PM standing appointment at my hot yoga class. Like every Monday I go to the same class.
00:39:33
Speaker
Well, the ice cream night was from six to eight. So I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to tell Annabelle. I either have to not go to my class or I have to tell Annabelle that I'm not taking her. Like, what am I going to do? What am going to do? And then my best friend, whose daughter's a grade above, and our daughters are best friends, asked if I was going. I told her my dilemma. And she's like, I'll just take her.
00:39:53
Speaker
She said, you know what? I'll walk her around. I'll introduce her to the clubs. And it worked out because she, if it was me, Annabelle probably wouldn't have spoken to anyone but she would have wanted me to because she always defers to me.
00:40:08
Speaker
But because my friend Tina took her, it Tina's like, she just walked up and and did her own thing, collected her information. So I felt guilty, but then it worked out. Yeah, and that's great.
00:40:18
Speaker
yeah That's what I always remind myself of like all the time. I'm like, and I was just saying this to Michael the other day. I'm like, a weird part about parenthood is like your whole job is just to like make them be able to succeed without you, which is horribly heartbreaking. Right? Because it like just means that they have succeed without you.
00:40:36
Speaker
And I was like, so, but I, that's what I always tell myself. I'm like, there's so many situations where it's a different adult experiencing something with my kid. And I'm like, but that's okay. Like they should, they would be different if it were with me and they should have experiences from other adults. Like that's, what's going to make them a well-rounded person, which at the end of the day is the point. Right.
Maintaining Positivity and Organization Tips
00:40:54
Speaker
So, but is so hard. And they act better when we're not around too, which is crazy. Right. yeah like yeah It's annoying. It's like, yeah, someone else said, something to me the other day and was like, oh, I saw Ava and she came right up and she asked me how my summer was. And I was like, really?
00:41:11
Speaker
she my And I was like, oh, that's great. I'm glad you guys had a nice conversation. Like I was like, I'm like, you saw so-and-so at the school. And she was like, yeah, why? You know, it's like she, she didn't want to like tell me about it.
00:41:25
Speaker
It's they're like, they know how to make us feel happy. And then it's like, and then you feel proud. Yeah, that's it. You feel proud. You're like, okay, well, I did a good job.
00:41:36
Speaker
You have another meme to me at home. Exactly. So i I'm going to ask you guys for advice to share with other people. And I didn't you know let you know I was going to ask you this, but if you had one tip to get yourself organized or to stay calm as we transition you know into this season, what would it be?
00:41:59
Speaker
I'll let Callie go first. um I would say what works best for me is like have a set, like I was saying earlier, like have a set time, whether it's like you have 10 minutes in the morning or you have 10 minutes before you go to bed that you're spending with your like calendar and your little where you have undistracted, like not whether there children around or people speaking to you, 10 or 15 minutes where you can you know, read over the emails and cross-reference really quick your calendar and like give yourself that 10 minutes every day somewhere where there's no children.
00:42:34
Speaker
I think that's such a good idea because I am notorious for getting the notification or seeing the email come through, letter from the principal. And I'm like, Ooh, I wonder what it says and clicking it. And then and yeah my brain is not even processing it.
00:42:47
Speaker
So then somebody asks me the next day, Hey, did you see the letter? or What did it say? I'm like, I have no clue. I read it, but Yeah, you get distracted. Someone asks you for something. Yeah, I try to even with invites and all that stuff, like put it in the calendar or RSVP right away. That's just me because I forget.
00:43:04
Speaker
um So I feel like for me, it's being organized as much as you can, just helps the days go smoother, everything in general. But one thing in the morning, and I feel like this was at like a parent coffee thing a few years ago that ah one of the teachers spoke about, and I as much as the chaos and that, what what was it? 7.16 AM you said, Caitlin?
00:43:28
Speaker
It's so true. Cause two of mine get on the bus at like 7.20 and 7.25. So I feel like I'm like trying to make sure everyone has their water bottles and their lunches, but no matter how hard the morning is and you're reminding them to brush their teeth and you know, there is yelling, even though they're, you know, you try not to, but I,
00:43:48
Speaker
Even if I'm in the wrong, I feel like I always want to send my kids to school or to start the day happy. Even if it's like, you know, they didn't like clean, ah load their dishes or make their bed.
00:44:01
Speaker
i always, no matter what, even if they're wrong, and i this might be a bad thing, send them on a happy note because then I feel like the energy and they're and the positivity of the day versus being like...
00:44:16
Speaker
Why didn't you put that in the dishwasher? And, you know, you were doing this wrong because it just, I know how it makes you feel inside, you know? And I know like for me, so I feel like just starting, sending them off on a positive note not yelling at them is just a tip that I would say, even if they might be in the wrong. I know it's so hard, but someone said it, like I said, to I hate to repeat myself, but someone said it to me and it just stuck in my head and it just like really makes sense. Like just- yeah You want to leave them in a happy
00:44:48
Speaker
Yes, I think about that too, because you're sending them like we we can all remember what it was like to be like our kids at different ages. And you're like sending them out into place where like they probably don't feel as safe as at home, not like physically, but you know what I mean? Like there's um people and peer pressure and like all of that. I think about that too. And I always I do the same thing. Like I just try to like say something like for me, it's like I always just like say something nice, like a little like yeah something great about them on their way out the door or whatever. Because, yeah, it sucks to, like, be feeling down and then you show up and then, yeah, maybe, like, somebody's joking about the shoes or, you know, like, we know what that feels like to go into that space.
00:45:27
Speaker
so yeah Or, like, Gianna got on the bus this morning and she's, like, she's always, like, wait inside. Like, don't come out here. Like, no one needs to see you, you know? She's at that point now with me.
00:45:38
Speaker
So i I saw it coming and I opened up the door and i'm like, bye, Gianna. I love you. I love you. And you get like that eye roll, right? But I know when she gets on that bus, she's probably like, thanks, mom.
00:45:50
Speaker
You know, like I know she doesn't want to show it, but no I think even though she eye rolled, like she knows she does like inside. She knows that there's somebody who yeah loves her so much. They're going to roll down the window and like yell it out to her.
00:46:00
Speaker
Yeah. So I'm totally guilty of being the parent that sent their kids to school with in a bad mood. And as a former teacher, this killed me because I would hate when my kids came, when my students came to school and clearly they had a bad morning because sometimes they took it out on me or other times they'd be sad.
00:46:19
Speaker
And I did it all the time last year. And this year i am, and and I did it because was just, they were, my kids were always late and they were always fighting and it was stressful.
00:46:32
Speaker
So this year is much different. The bus, Like I will never send my child out to go get on the bus in a bad mood because that's just not nice. But also my oldest, I drive her to school because she can't get up early enough for the bus.
00:46:46
Speaker
And she and I, I told myself, I was like, I'll never lecture her on the way there. I want this to be a positive, you know, nice car ride because now she's in middle school. She's going to this new scary place. And so I'm trying to um what's the word?
00:47:04
Speaker
I'm trying to just like be aware of it, be aware of it, but just like make up for oh last year. Last time. Yeah. No, I felt, I felt the same way as you, Caitlin. Cause I felt like until I heard someone say this, I was like, wow, I am like not nice in the morning.
00:47:21
Speaker
I need to work on this. But like, if you don't hear it from other people, it doesn't really make you think about it. And I agree with late yelling. i like, why was I being like that? But You know, you don't sometimes we don't we have to well learn every day. Right. Yeah.
00:47:36
Speaker
No. Well, you were being that way because like, oh, my God, put on your shoes. We have to go, you know. So it's yeah, it's such a balancing act. I think, too, like I always it's hard to get like caught up in it. But I think like sometimes you're going to have to be like, get your shoes on, like, let's go.
00:47:50
Speaker
But I think if you just focus on like those last few minutes, you know what you mean? There might be some whatever like leading up to it. But I love like if you just think about like that last interaction with them is great.
00:48:02
Speaker
So just yell until they get the door and then hug them. And then be like, I love you so much. You're so great. Yeah. Yeah. um I was going to say my best advice is setting reminders in my phone, putting everything in my calendar, like Megan said.
00:48:19
Speaker
We currently have
Positive Changes and Hopeful New Season
00:48:20
Speaker
a whiteboard in the kitchen and i I print out everybody's schedules. I made my husband start using his Google calendar, but I think- I'm still trying to figure out another way to keep everything organized.
00:48:33
Speaker
I haven't gotten there yet, but that's for another day. i think we've reached the end of our episode, so we are going to talk about pits and peaks and you know something really great that's going on or something that kind of sucks.
00:48:47
Speaker
Does anyone have anything they want to share? I have a peak and I feel like we talked about this, but only offline. So my son started new school this year, which is always a little nerve wracking, but it's been going great and he loves it and we love his teacher. And so that's as ah as a parent, everyone can of relate to that when you have to send your child off somewhere new and like that he came home from his first day and said it was the best day of his life.
00:49:13
Speaker
So I'm sure some of the excitement will wear off, but like when you're so nervous about sending them to a new place, that's yeah, that's always good. Megan, I feel like you probably have something good you're going to share. No, not really. No. Actually, so um Callie, don't think I copied you, okay? Because we kind of go like here. It's down there.
00:49:32
Speaker
But mine's kind of the same. my kids All three of my kids are happy. They love going to school. They love their friends, their teachers. They're happy with their you know activities after school.
00:49:43
Speaker
we haven't I'm sure we will have issues. not Life is not perfect. But everyone's just in a good place. And For me, that's a peak because you want nothing more than your kids to be happy. So I'm sorry to piggyback on that, but I wrote down the same thing. It's just...
00:50:00
Speaker
good energy. We're starting off the year. Right. And let's hope, you know, I'm sure that there's always things that come up. It's part of it, but yeah. I mean, I'm just going to jump on Megan's back because she's on top of Kelly's back and say, that is a visual that I just had this visual mind of us just like a three piggyback ride.
00:50:20
Speaker
Um, And August was a really difficult month for me personally and my family. And I was so nervous about the school year because Arbor starting preschool, Eileen was going to a new school for third grade and Annabelle's going to middle school and everybody loves school.
00:50:38
Speaker
They, they love everything about it. And I started my job and I love my, my new job that I'm doing three days a week. And i don it's like, I don't want to,
00:50:50
Speaker
like get too excited because I'm waiting for, you know, just shit to hit the fan again or something. But it's good. It's really good. And Arbor... Loves preschool so much that she was going from nine to 12. We extended the day. Perfect. And she stays till two.
00:51:06
Speaker
She just thinks it's the best. She's mad she can't go on Fridays. That is a riot. That's so cute. I bet she loves going there. She just seems like she's so ready for that, right? yeah She's just obsessed.
00:51:18
Speaker
And she's got a little buddy there that's our friend's son. And so every night, the four of us like just exchange stories about what each kid comes home and tells us about what they talked about during the day.
00:51:29
Speaker
And it's really comical. They're both just, you know, three-year-olds having very grown up conversations about things that happen in their neighborhoods and stuff. It's really funny.
00:51:40
Speaker
So, well, thank you everyone for listening. we will be back with Charlotte next time and maybe it will be the official start of season two or maybe This was episode one of season two. I don't really know. We'll figure it out later.
00:51:56
Speaker
But if you're new here, leave us a review. If you're old here, leave us a review. and thanks listening. Bye. Bye. Bye.