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Holiday Magic or Holiday Burnout: How Can We Adjust Our Mindset?
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The holidays are supposed to feel magical… but for moms, they can feel overwhelming. This week on Just 4 Moms, Megan, Caitlin, and Charlotte share honest stories about holiday burnout, the pressure to get everything “just right,” and what it takes to shift into a healthier, calmer mindset.
We open with a Chat about Christmas shopping for ourselves, what we put on our wishlists, and why moms so often end up just buying the things they need on their own.
Mom Fails are very on-brand this week—
• Caitlin gets caught again throwing away Arbor’s school papers
• Charlotte’s kids still can’t use silverware properly (and where does all the silverware go?!)
• Megan has been driving around with donations in her trunk far too long
Then we move into this week’s topic:
✨ The pressure moms feel to create “holiday magic”
✨ Letting go of perfection so you can actually enjoy the season
✨ Recognizing your limits (you cannot do it all!)
✨ The self-care + boundary setting that makes a real difference
✨ Giving your kids a “good day” instead of chasing the perfect holiday
✨ Rewriting the narrative around what matters
Finally, we close with Pits & Peaks:
• Megan’s Pit: Dragging Nico to a Christmas event when he wasn’t having it
• Caitlin’s Peak: Watching a squirrel happily munch the rotting pumpkin on her deck
• Charlotte’s Peak: The pure joy of having a lawn crew clean up her leaves (a true mom luxury!)
This episode brings comfort, clarity, and a little comic relief as we navigate the season together.
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Transcript
Innovations at Wallingford's Library
00:00:00
Speaker
Our library is from like when Wallingford was established, whatever year that was. I bet our main library has something. Yeah. i bet like that I bet Fairfields has the same. And it's soundproof. The Roams.
00:00:15
Speaker
Prove it. I know, right? ah Yeah. So hopefully, i mean, it's way better than being at home, obviously. The lighting's good. Yeah.
00:00:27
Speaker
I actually, like um I take it back saying Wallingford has an archaic library. We just, we don't have a soundproof room. I don't think they have this, they have like a, what's it called? An innovation center now with a 3d printer and a wood machine where you can go in there and make all sorts of things.
00:00:45
Speaker
And I've worked at the library plenty of times, but not in a room like that. Yeah.
Exploring the New Coffee Machine
00:00:52
Speaker
Fancy hair at Just for Moms. Welcome back, everyone. i was just talking to my daughter, who's a junior in high school, and they're coming up on exams leading into Thanksgiving. And she said, I found a coffee shop in town to go sit and work. And I was like, you're ready for college, girl. like oh That's cute.
00:01:15
Speaker
It'll probably help her focus more too, right? I think so. i mean, I remember when I had little ones at home and our nanny would be around and, you know, I loved hanging out with the nanny, but there were times when I just had to be gone and like lock in. And so I would go to a local coffee shop and you just, there is something about it that's so charming. Yes. It is. And I am more productive if I'm somewhere else because there's nothing else to do. Yeah. Except what's in front of you. There's no distractions and the coffee's way better than at home. I don't know, at least for me. Yeah.
00:01:48
Speaker
I just got a fancy new, I'm looking at it because i have a campaign with PC Richard and son who I love and I've known them forever. And so it's so fun to be working with these like local brands, but they give you a dedicated list of SKUs. So you can, it's not just like pick anything in the store and half the SKUs are like portable speakers or something that I cannot bring another portable speaker into this house. We have every child, there's enough for them to all have four. but And there's, and, or the like frame TV or the, there's just, there's a lot of things that I just either have or can't use. And so this coffee maker was something that I was like, I guess I can create content around it. And it's fancy AF, but I don't, I don't like, I'm not used to doing like a cappuccino or a latte. Which one is it?
00:02:39
Speaker
Can you tell us? If anyone could. Yeah, can't see it. It's like a DeLong, DeLong-y. I mean, it's not, ah it's not like the fancy, like clearly I picked one that would grind the beans and then give me a cup at a time. Cause I was like, that I will use. And that was above their budget, obviously for whatever, I mean, this isn't a major campaign. It's very small, but I'm going get it set up. I'll let you know.
00:03:05
Speaker
That's so exciting. Yeah. Speaking of coffee. If anyone could figure it out, though, it's you, Charlotte. You'll have it mastered in like 30 minutes where me, it would be like days. I don't do tech. So I don't, I mean, we'll see. I don't do tech. I've had to force myself to read manuals for tools recently. I don't do that.
00:03:23
Speaker
i I have always like, I pride myself on the fact that you could bring something into the house and I'm the one who puts it together.
Charlotte's Costume Rack Misadventure
00:03:30
Speaker
And then the other day i was at our dance studio and when my girls are dancing, if going to be there for a while, I'll help out. So they needed to build a new costume rack. And I'm like, oh sure, I got this. And one of the juniors said,
00:03:43
Speaker
like junior and high school juniors came over and she's like, oh, like we could do it together. We put it together the wrong way three times. She's like, I'm a high honor student. I said, yeah, you play the cello. Why can't we do this? Those are very hard things, but I don't know what it was. the Well, you always want the picture. It's like,
00:04:02
Speaker
I need you to draw an arrow that specifies I'm meant to notice that this one little hole on step number two needs to be facing on the left, not the right. Because I'm busy looking at the seven pieces that I need to screw in and not that little hole. Yes. And you won't notice that the hole is in the wrong place until step 12.
00:04:19
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Yeah. I need to be fed and well rested to do those. That's for sure. lot of patience. I'm not good. I'll be swearing at the thing. Or how about when you go to like YouTube to like if you can't read the directions and then it's like even worse.
00:04:35
Speaker
Yeah, forget it. And it's always some guy in his barn that has like a 25 minute lead up to the one part that you want. And it's like how I love it. I love that this, that Bob is on YouTube telling me how to screw in whatever, but it's so specific. It's such a deep cut. Yeah.
Introducing 'Just For Moms' Podcast
00:04:55
Speaker
Welcome to Just For Moms. I'm Charlotte. I'm Caitlin. I'm Megan. And I'm Callie. We are regular moms talking about regular stuff like aging, parenthood, work-life balance, and figuring out what's for dinner. Again, a no-judgment zone to talk, laugh, and maybe cry about all the things women think about on a daily basis. All right, so let's get right into our chat here. I want to know from Charlotte and Caitlin, do you buy yourself gifts during Christmas time, impulse buys, or do you send your family wish
Gift Buying and Wishlists During Christmas
00:05:31
Speaker
list? I'll go last on this because I'm a little hesitant to share, but Charlotte?
00:05:36
Speaker
We should first mention, Callie, just double booked. I was just about to say that she doesn't care about Callie. She's not here, guys. Well, we've been talking about rescheduling and it just didn't work. So for us, it's old news, but I was... Thanks. me that's Thanks.
00:05:55
Speaker
A billion percent I do. It's the price of doing the Lord's work, of planning the entire holiday. I've also learned that it's just... It just... It feels like adding an extra step to give...
00:06:10
Speaker
whoever a specific thing if I'm standing in the store holding it. Like just get it. And it's, our money is all in the same bank. I don't know. It feels like a lot to not get it in the moment and ask for someone to yeah bring it. So would you say you just do impulse buys or do you also like text your husband or your kid stuff that you would want for Christmas? Like I'll tell my parents if there's something specific. a Recently, it's just been like, we got a lot of expenses and they're like, great, we'll just write you a check. But sometimes it'll be like, we need money towards a new washing machine or whatever.
00:06:45
Speaker
What about you, Caitlin? At Christmas time, impulse buys or do you send your family a list? I mean, I'm still a child in my mind. So I have a Pinterest board called Dear Santa and like built on it.
00:06:59
Speaker
And I find that like very exciting during the season, the buildup to the season, but no one really buys me gifts. So it usually like just sits there until my birthday, but no, I mean, my, my husband and I exchange presents, my parents, um, his parents sometimes, um,
00:07:18
Speaker
will go off of my list, but other times, you know, we get money towards something or I'll be told, Hey, I saw that you wanted this. Can I just Venmo you and you buy it for yourself? And I'm always like that.
00:07:32
Speaker
Just don't know. Just I'd rather you send me something I don't like than give me money to go buy myself something that I put on a list, hoping you would purchase and wrap. Like, I don't like that. It makes me think of when I was little and my mom, we'd all be sitting around and my grandfather would come in with all these gifts and you'd find out my mom bought them all and brought them to his house where he wrapped them and then he brought them for us to open. and every year she'd have to act all surprised opening something she had to buy for herself from him.
00:08:05
Speaker
And he'd be like, here's some money, buy yourself something, but I want to wrap it. And so I've just, I'm scarred from that. That's great. I love that. is funny. ah For all our listeners, because it is Christmas time, I wanted to share if you do need a app to share your wishlist, Gifful is the one that my teenagers send me. And it's like a whole on PowerPoint presentation with clickable links. It's it's out of control. Are you you girls familiar with this app?
00:08:34
Speaker
No, you just told me about it when I texted you the other day. And Annabelle thinks she is just, this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to her. Mine asked, requested another one okay that I don't think was that, but I was going to ask. That's a new thing is these apps.
00:08:50
Speaker
Yes. Yep. And I don't have one, but I will say for me personally at Christmas time, my mom and my in-laws always ask me what I want. And usually I text my mom links to things, but for our family of five, I just impulse buy. If I went out today to Nordstrom's and saw a pair of boots, I'd buy and be like, that's part of my Christmas gift. And- Yeah. And I, and Joel will be like, what do you want? And I'm like, i already bought myself three things. Don't even worry about it. Like, Don't worry about it. Yeah.
00:09:19
Speaker
Just, just call it, call it a Christmas. Okay.
Parenting Challenges and 'Mom Fails'
00:09:25
Speaker
So let's get into mom fails. Do we have any this week, Caitlin?
00:09:30
Speaker
I mean, i just got caught throwing out Arbor's artwork again, and it's not really artwork even. It's, she brings home every worksheet that she does at preschool and it could be,
00:09:41
Speaker
She clearly didn't finish it. She only covered in one boot of this thing that she was supposed to draw and she wants to save it. And she'll say, this is mine. And now she knows how to spell her name. She'll say, A-R-B-O-R. Why did you put that in the trash? It has my name on it. i'm Like, well, honey, you didn't, you didn't finish it. Or you already did one like this last week and she cries and it's awful. So yeah, it's my mom. I got caught.
00:10:09
Speaker
I don't know what else to do. She comes home and looks for the pile of all of her treasures every day. I'm just going to wait until it gets really big and then take stuff off the bottom and throw it out. Yeah. Put the paper towel on top and push it down. Right. Yeah. Or just put it in the fireplace. There's no evidence. What about you, Charlotte? Do you have a mom fail?
00:10:30
Speaker
I feel like I had a different one earlier, but I'm 50, so it's gone. i think my most recent one is because we're recording this on a Monday and we ate a family dinner together last night on a Sunday.
00:10:41
Speaker
I've said this before, but I watch my kids handle silverware. And there was a point early in their development when I just lost the thread and they do not know how to handle silverware. And we'll have to say...
00:10:54
Speaker
You know, because if you're cutting food, you're if you're right-handed, fork should be in your left hand, and then you use the knife in your right hand to cut. It's just... i mean, maybe there's not a right or a wrong, but that's how we were always taught. I think whatever. And so I'll watch the kids like struggling to cut food because they're holding the fork in their dominant hand and their knife in their non-dominant hand. And so we'll be like, switch hands. You need to do them the opposite way. And they will roll their eyes and look at me like, you don't know what you're talking about. And they're just heathens. The table is covered with food because they're slipping and like sliding it off. And I fear...
00:11:31
Speaker
That they were going to move out of the house in a few years. And I, this is my legacy. So it's table manners. Well, if this actually, this might make you feel better. So we went to visit, we met a couple, a bajillion years ago from Norway on a cruise. When we went to visit them, I have, you know, we're eating in their home and I'm watching them eat and they hold their utensils in the opposite hands.
00:11:54
Speaker
So like it you hold your, you know, you said you hold whatever you just said, it's opposite. Yeah. And she's, it's a Norwegian thing. like that That's what they do. And she said, because the way that you're holding the fork, it's holding down your food.
00:12:12
Speaker
Wait, that's how you would do it, right? Right. Yeah, I know. Okay. So then i don't know. It works. It worked for them. And I watched people at restaurants and they all did it that way too. And then I was like, wow, this is so classy.
00:12:26
Speaker
Maybe I should try it. I mean, I don't know that I would notice if they weren't like fisting this. Yeah. I mean, if they were doing this, if the food wasn't slipping off the plate and if they were actually cutting through the food,
00:12:42
Speaker
I think I'd feel better about it all, but like they're not getting anywhere because their left hand can't handle the knife. I don't know. It just, it looked, you get what I'm saying. Yeah. Like Arbor, when I sent you guys a video of her pile.
00:12:54
Speaker
She's allowed. She's what, four? so three She did it on purpose. That wasn't an accident. Wait, do you know what's been on my list to buy Speaking of silverware, I don't know where our silverware goes. Like, I don't know if people throw it out, leave it in their pillows. I think they do. It's been on my list, and I did find it. I just need to order it. Buy more of the silverware that we have because I want it to match. So I found the same ones we already have, but we're down to like five forks, like the good forks, and I need to replenish. And again, I don't know where the good forks and the good spoons go. The little ones are all there, but the big stuff...
00:13:30
Speaker
It's gone. Ours was a wedding present. And I i actually think Crate and Barrel still sells it, but silverware is not cheap. No, not. And at this rate, you know what I'm not wanting to do is spend $50 for, it's like $50 a set and you need- Yes. And a lot of it's garbage and it like, it tarnishes or rusts. And I'll go to my parents' house and they have just that, I always say, where did you get this? She's like, i don't know. It's so old.
00:13:56
Speaker
So I've thought about stealing theirs because theirs is nice and giving them mine. Yeah. Here, take mine. Yeah. Well, this is is it cognitive dissonance that like I will go to HomeGoods and buy spend $60 10 times to keep replacing it rather than go to Crate and Barrel once to get the fancy stuff? Yes. Yeah. I get that. Yeah. Mine's in my car. I don't know what I'm waiting for. a Black Friday sale. No idea. But I need, even the other day, Ava was like, I thought you said you were ordering new spoons or more spoons. I'm like, I know.
00:14:26
Speaker
I'm getting around to it. Eventually. Yes. um My mom fail is that I've been driving around with donations in my trunk that I need to go to Goodwill. And it's annoying me because I had to drive the basketball carpool the other day.
00:14:42
Speaker
And I forgot about it. And Nico was like, where's all my friends going to sit? And I was like, oh, shoot.
00:14:51
Speaker
Grab a lap. Yeah. and you Don't you get excited when you have donations in your trunk and you pull up into a parking lot and it has one of those clothing donations, shoe donations here? And you're like, no, I don't even have to go to Goodwill. Just dump it on here.
00:15:04
Speaker
Yes. This is like toys. So I probably got to go to Goodwill, right? You can't leave the clothes in those ones. I was thinking of that last night. I've never seen one with toys that you could leave. I better do it the right way, right? I don't want to make anyone angry.
00:15:18
Speaker
no Okay. So moving
Managing Holiday Magic and Stress
00:15:21
Speaker
on. So this week's topic is holiday magic, holiday burnout, and how we can adjust our mindset.
00:15:29
Speaker
So for me personally, the holidays, I don't – whatever I do, prepare – think I'm like ahead of the game with ordering gifts. It's just stressful for me. I think it's just my personality. I try to enjoy it and create all this magic for my kids. And I just feel like I don't think about me, which I don't know if I should. Is it bad of me to say that at Christmas time? Like, so isn't it supposed to be enjoyable for us moms a little? Yeah. And I know for me personally in my house, I'm in charge of creating all the Christmas magic. I probably could give some of it to Joe to take on, but I don't know why. I just, you know, all the emails we get for the classroom stuff, and then you feel oblig like obligated to volunteer and then to bring in the baked good. And then for, you know, the nutcracker You know, they want you to sell snacks. So I sign up for that. So I feel like i personally do it to myself. And I feel like I need to adjust my time management. So maybe I will be able to enjoy it. And every year I'm like, Megan, you you do this to yourself. Like, just don't sign up. Don't, you know, overdo it. Don't think you need to take them to every Santa event.
00:16:58
Speaker
So i feel like because also Nico still believes and my teenagers don't, that that's another pressure is creating Santa's magic from mom. So for me, i I'm going to try this year.
00:17:20
Speaker
We'll see how it goes to step back and not do as much. So it's more... enjoyable. ah Charlotte, what's your thoughts on holiday magic? Are you burnout? How do you handle it all?
00:17:34
Speaker
I mean, I think in the moment, I never identify as burnout, but there's definitely moments of like, whoa, where is the time gone? Am I organized? I mean, I think I don't know. We don't have anything big. Like I feel like the Nutcracker for you, that's the terrible time of year to have this big culmination of something where have to get the kids places and deal with it and be part of it. So thankfully for us, we don't have anything like that. So it's just navigating schools. Now with only one kid left in elementary school, there's not as much of that. Like I'm certainly, not going into the middle school to help with any, I mean, they don't have parties and stuff, but I'm not helping.
00:18:15
Speaker
And so it's really just navigating our own family. And I guess that that's a little bit easier not to get overwhelmed with because they're old enough. Like it is what it is, you know?
00:18:27
Speaker
So I don't have a great answer. That was a non-answer. But we don't go to like, I don't host a holiday party. We aren't invited to holiday parties. So there isn't, there isn't as much outside stuff as I feel like there have been in the past because we've never done the going to the... We've never done like holiday events other than if the preschool had a come meet Santa or something.
00:18:54
Speaker
So I don't i don't know. there's I always have like a wish list of things that would be amazing to do, like go around and give gifts to the neighbors who've decorated or you know do a secret Santa for such and such. So I do have a wish list and some of those things get done and some of them don't, but the rest of it is just...
00:19:13
Speaker
getting through it. Yes. Now, do you feel like now that your kids are older, it's not that it's easier, but when they were younger, because I mean, you, you know, you have five kids to take care of at Christmas time and the holidays, or do you just, you're very chill about it, which is awesome.
00:19:30
Speaker
I don't know. I just don't think, I don't think i I mean, yeah, I think it probably is a little bit easier, but I don't know. i don't have an answer. I don't find it I don't find it overwhelming, but I think it's because I know going into it, i i maybe I know what to expect. Does that sound right?
00:19:52
Speaker
No, it does. I don't know. That's not helpful. no but i just i think I think that you last year talked about how you've always decorated the White House, and it was this huge thing. So then you'd get home and you were like, well, I just did all of that, so I'm not going to do so much. I remember you decorating your cabinets. Yeah.
00:20:11
Speaker
pretty like late in the game and you had just accepted it. And so maybe you've always just had that mentality that you're just like, you know what? I'm just chill. Like, I'm not going to overdo it and I'm not going to put this pressure on myself to overdo it. And so once you go into this whole holiday season that way, then you're just now that you're new, that's that's Charlotte. That may be. Yeah. We've never had any big time must get done ticket items that are looming. I mean, the biggest thing for me is always making sure that things are wrapped, whether they're coming from us or someone farther north. And that
00:20:54
Speaker
is, you know, worst case scenario, I take a day before and I just leave, i just tag out and I say, Mark, this is, I'm gone. yeah Like I'm hibernating and I'm watching the West Wing and like you got a deal. Yeah.
00:21:08
Speaker
And even with the new house, are you envisioning all these decorations or just outside? I've done the outside because of that campaign, which was great. And then inside, don't know. I guess, no, I'm not envisioning. We have to figure out where the tree goes, but that's a family endeavor. yes Yes. We'll go cut that down. And then I don't even, i don't like decorating the tree. So what the kids do that. Yes.
00:21:33
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like with our tree last year, Nico was the only one to do it. Like the girls went into it. I'm like, go put ornaments on it was saying to my 13 and 15 year old, and they were like, Ma, we're kind of like good with the tree. And I'm like, can't you just go hang a few just because?
00:21:48
Speaker
But do you feel like Meg, I mean, I think Nutcracker is huge, but also do you feel like you've done so many things? I mean, I watch the stuff that you do. You've already done one this season with them. Yes. And some of it may be for work, but do you find that you've done so much in the past that now that bar is really high? and so you're letting everyone down if it's like this year, we're not doing. Yes. No. X, Y, and I agree. I've had like two campaigns for work. We went to go see – I'm sure I'm able to see the Santa at the Westchester, November 6th.
00:22:20
Speaker
and What is that? With your one child who's like, yay. Yeah. So, and then – yeah. So, I agree. Yeah. then the the And then the girls always want to go to the city to do that whole city thing, which is stressful. It's fun. But going to the city at Christmastime – It's a lot. It's a lot.
00:22:36
Speaker
So, yeah. The Nutcracker takes up the first weekend – of December because they have a Nutcracker tea and the girls have to work that. And then of course I like volunteer to bring stuff. I don't bake for it. I buy stuff because you know, that's my thing. If you're new here, sorry.
00:22:52
Speaker
but And then the second weekend in December is the Nutcracker and there's like five shows. So yeah, it's, it's a lot, but You know, I just do it and shut my mouth, i guess, kind of. But then by and then so by the time Christmas comes, you're just like, I'm done. I just want to lay down and do nothing. Yes. I mean, this is our first year not doing the Nutcracker, not because like we didn't want to, but because our studio, it didn't come to our town and our studio usually partners with a ballet company. And that was a huge like weight off my shoulders, not having to worry about even though my kids only did one show, they would have to leave school. You know, there's the whole lead up to it. There's there's just so much that goes into it, you know, and I could not imagine my kids doing more than one one show. That's just insane.
00:23:43
Speaker
um But the last couple years of my life, right before Christmas, right before Thanksgiving, sometimes Easter, I like just lose it. And I'm crazy and stressed out and wild. And my husband always says to me, why do you get like this every year? Like this is every holiday you go nuts. And it usually rolls into me starting a fight with him because what else, you know, where else am I going to take all this anger and frustration out? Oh, my husband. Yay. Like you look like you're just relaxing and doing nothing while I'm doing everything.
00:24:20
Speaker
So, um right before Halloween, we, he wanted to host everybody at our house and we were experiencing a very difficult time in our family's life. We had just, we were about to lose someone.
00:24:35
Speaker
Yeah. No, he had already passed away. And I just decided. i don't care if everything's not perfect. I don't care if my house isn't clean to host these people. I don't care if the outside isn't ready. I don't care if we have enough food.
00:24:50
Speaker
i don't care because at the end of the day, all that matters is everyone's getting together and we're going to have fun no matter what. And then, then I told him here, you want it to be somewhat type of way, then you do that yourself.
00:25:03
Speaker
It was so good. Like It was so good. I came home actually early from work on that Friday to because I felt sick and I just kind of put my head down and cleaned and everything like that. But it was such a nice time. And so as we're getting up, you know, other holidays coming up, Thanksgiving hasn't happened yet for anyone listening.
00:25:22
Speaker
I'm going into it the same way. I'm like, if it's not done, it's not done. I don't care. And I'm not creating. If. if The last couple of years, I've wrapped every Christmas book in our house so they have something to open every day. If it's not happened, if it doesn't happen, then whatever.
00:25:39
Speaker
is what it is. and i And I, for my mental health and like for my kids' well-being, need to be a happier human and not just stressed out and angry at the end of the day because I'm not going to remember it all. I'm not going to remember the good stuff when I'm just so caught up in all the bad.
00:25:56
Speaker
Right. We also have the advantage of Christmas is not a big family season for us. That's sort of Thanksgiving. So we don't have anyone coming to visit. So I don't need the house to be in a certain way. We do Christmas with my in-laws at their house. the next day after. So I don't have that added stressor of having to host because going into Thanksgiving, i am a little more wound up about that, but it's mostly because we're goingnna have so many bodies in a small space. So I'm sort of thinking about like logistically what will make that easier, but I've been thinking about it for weeks. So I've able to plan and, you know, order the folding tables and that kind of stuff with Christmas. It's just my family.
00:26:36
Speaker
There's definitely things that we used to do that. I don't think we consciously stopped doing, But like we used to go, Santa Claus comes through Southport where we used to live. And that was a really fun event is that we would go, you know, at six at night, bundle all the kids up, walk downtown. And then he comes in on a on a fire truck and throws out the hardest popcorn balls you've ever experienced in your life. Kids love it. Are they good though? Have you taken a bite?
00:27:03
Speaker
I mean, you crack a crown. Oh yeah, but i know, right? But the kids love it. And there was one year when I just forgot to put it on the calendar and it didn't happen. And it was like, oh, that didn't happen. We used to do advent calendars. And now my husband's aunt will send us ones from Trader Joe's, but the kids half the time forget those. And so on Christmas morning, just opening all the leftover. Just eating it all. And so I think without meaning to also some of the precedent that used to feel really powerful, it's like, oh, like they don't.
00:27:36
Speaker
They don't care as much. So it there isn't there just aren't as many forced marches. And that, to your point, I think both of you have said this in different ways. If you're not if you don't have plans, it's just easier to kind of go with the flow. Yes.
00:27:52
Speaker
Yeah. And nobody – I mean – when you are the sole magic maker in the house, or if you are splitting it with someone and, but you still feel like you carry it all on your back, you're just, you I just said this before, but you're never going to be happy if you're so stressed every day, like just me just manic. And I feel like there's so many people that post about it on social media all Not glamorize it, but just like, look how tired I am and just look at all this I did. And then you look at it and you're like, well I didn't even do half of that. And I feel like I'm burnt out. What is wrong with me? There's just so much comparison. And so-
00:28:34
Speaker
I'm going to just everybody else. Yeah, it's definitely a time of year for blinders and earmuffs. You just got to stay in your lane. And for us, it might mean like one day of fun, hot chocolate with some weird marshmallows that I got at HomeGoods that morning or something. So it it is definitely – for me, it's like the impromptu –
00:28:56
Speaker
moments of magic that are not necessarily scheduled because I think those for me as a human are when I get the most joy is when something just happens and it's not.
00:29:08
Speaker
So that's I don't know if you asked this when you started, Meg, but that's definitely something that I think about is how, like, what are some small little things that feel kind of special and like the holiday season? Is it cutting? Is it finding those Pepperidge Farm cookies that have the triangle in the middle, not just the plain sugar ones? is it Is it getting red and white sprinkles? Is it, you know, those are all such small little things, but they make everyone feel like it's a special time a year. Yes. Yeah, no, you're right. ah and you're both your points, I'm like taking this to myself and like going to hopefully do what like Charlotte says, like for this holiday, not for me personally, be so stressful. And one thing I wanted to say too, like this past weekend, Nico wanted to go ornament shopping.
00:30:00
Speaker
So cute. It was really cute. And Joe was like, don't you want to go play basketball at the Y? And Nico was like, no, dad. Mom said she took me ornament shopping. So I'm like, Joe, I'm taking them. We'll be right back. So I didn't forgot that Hobby Lobby's closed on Sundays.
00:30:14
Speaker
um Yes. So then we ended up at ah Hallmark, the paper store, and those ornaments are like- Lord. Like $30 and there wasn't any good ones anyway. yeah So we ended up at Walmart, right?
00:30:26
Speaker
Nico was so cute. Like, and this was a little things that I just like really enjoyed was watching him shop in there. Cause he, don't really drag them places anymore shopping and he doesn't really like to go. So for, for a boy, my son, at least to ask to go shopping. And it was so cute in Walmart, like the ornaments, he was checking everything out. He's like, mom, we should go check out the inflatables, even though we probably won't have one this year. And it was just really, really cute. And he picked stuff out. And then he's like, okay, mom, I'm done. Get me out of here now. He was like, I'm good with this place. And we and the girls were like, where'd you go? And he's like, I went shopping at Walmart. It was like pretty good in there. It was the best. Yeah. Their Christmas setup is wonderful. It's great. But you, Meg, you lose two weeks. I mean, yeah that really is you're starting behind the gun. But I also maybe that's your mantra is you're just dealing with a different playing field. Like you're not going to be able to do everything that someone else might because you lose two weeks. That's so much time. Yes. Yeah. And for me, I do enjoy watching them like the day of. I always get like tears in my eyes because I was a ballerina and now It's nice to see your own kids enjoy it. But yeah, and they love it and they want to do it every year. And I read this um meme quote it really stuck in my head. So I wanted to share it because I think it pertains to the holidays.
00:31:49
Speaker
Don't be so busy giving them a good life that you forget to give them a good day. And For me, again, i know I'm repeating myself here.
00:32:01
Speaker
Sometimes even when it's not the holidays and it is the holidays, we get so wrapped up in getting stuff done on our to-do list or just busy, busy, busy, go, go, go, that sometimes I feel like for me, I forget to enjoy the kids and not be so stressed out and want to get things done. I don't know what – Or even, and I don't know if this is what I've learned, you know, having, we had so many small children so close together that there were there were four or five years of my life where it really was, we were just
Finding Personal Joy During Holidays
00:32:37
Speaker
hostage. And it was lovely in its own way. But I do think when the fog listed the lifted, the one was to
00:32:44
Speaker
takeaway i had was to be very deliberate and allow myself to sort of do what I wanted. And it it wasn't – I don't remember fighting it so much. Like I didn't have that like, oh, no, like should I leave the kids? Is it okay to go for a mom's night out? But I think it's because the trenches were so deep that when I got out, it was like this is just – this is how it has to be. And so I'll go out of my way to find like girls' nights or do something that I wouldn't necessarily –
00:33:16
Speaker
you know I do those once or not super often, but the couple of weeks leading up to Christmas to have drinks with a girlfriend or go get a facial or, and it doesn't always fit in the calendar as easy as I would like, but like what would make you happy is, i I'm deliberate about thinking of that. And sometimes it's buying those boots that you saw at the last room.
00:33:41
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, that's a good point, Charlotte. i Having two kids whose birthdays are in December. Oh, gosh, Caitlin. Christmas parties. Oh, my God. Just up the buck with everything to Yeah, weeks, too. Yeah. A couple years ago, um one of my really good close friends was like,
00:34:01
Speaker
It was the first year we became good close friends because our daughters were dancing together. And she said, I host a mom's Christmas party. And it's this wild night. You either get dressed up in some ridiculous Christmas outfit or maybe you just want to get dressed up nice.
00:34:16
Speaker
Half the alphabet brings appetizers. The other half is dessert. And then everything else, like I have the alcohol. We have a bartender. There's music. We're going to do White Elephant. It's just... Or Yankee Swap or whatever. It's going be really fun. And I went...
00:34:30
Speaker
And it was the day before Arbor's birthday, I think. And I felt so guilty leading up to it. Like I'm missing out on this Christmas night in the house and I'm missing out on her the night before her birthday and just all, or maybe it was even two nights before her birthday.
00:34:47
Speaker
And I went and I woke up the next day and I was like, that was the most fun I've ever had in the holiday season in so long. I deserved that. Like, yeah and I feel like this will carry me on now. And I, we, it's coming up in a couple of weeks. I cannot wait for it. It's my favorite. It's like bad mom's Christmas. Yeah.
00:35:06
Speaker
All the moms unload and it's just on my show. It's like palate cleanser. Yeah. And then you might be a little crusty the next day, but then the day after that, you're ready to get back into doing whatever you need to do. Well, I find for me, it is sometimes very easy, especially if I'm tired and feeling a little overwhelmed. It's very easy to fall into that narrative of this is all on me.
00:35:27
Speaker
Yeah. And like logistically, it is. Let's be clear. this is the It is a solo enterprise, the making of magic. But- You know, a lot of the time that's not the narrative. So when I find myself being sort of resentful about that, that's when those nights out, whether it's with a couple of friends or to a party or whether it's a facial, like then it's sort of,
00:35:52
Speaker
it does reboot the clock and it, and then it's like, okay, I'm the maker of magic, but it doesn't have quite that level of like, Ooh, this is frustrating. Cause I love being the maker of magic. Like I don't, ah it, it does bring me joy, but I think that's something that is tricky for me is that it can teeter into sort of resentment and like, does anyone appreciate all the, you know?
00:36:11
Speaker
Yes. Oh yeah. Literally the speech I give. Yes. Like that our mom gave us. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it this year. There is no speech. Yeah. Yeah. um No, I feel like my mom still gives me the speech and I catch myself giving the speech every every year. And like you were saying with Brandon, every year this happens and you're like, yeah, because I have no one else to unload it on. Yeah. And he's like, and he'll say like, I'm here. Hello. Hi, I can help. And I'm like, but you're not. And he's like, as you didn't give me anything to do.
00:36:44
Speaker
like, but that's so much work to tell you what to do. You should just know. Yes. Yeah. yeah Okay. So I wanted to share, cause I'm no expert in this. I'm just sharing my personal experiences and Charlotte and Caitlin, or I feel like now that we've all spoken are experts, but anyway, so I did some research and if you're feeling overwhelmed during the holiday season, it's, it's a very stressful time.
Tips for Staying Grounded in the Holidays
00:37:11
Speaker
Here's a few tips to help you stay grounded.
00:37:14
Speaker
And number one, prioritize what matters. Number two, take breaks. Number three, stay active, maybe exercise.
00:37:26
Speaker
ah Set a budget. ah This is always an interesting one in our house. the Avoid financial stress. Practice. ah ah Say more.
00:37:37
Speaker
How do we do that? Yeah, i know, right? Not those apps. That's not going to help. Those gift apps. ah Practice gratitude. Take a moment to reflect on the good things in your life. And remember the season is about connection, joy, and not perfection. So be kind to yourself.
00:37:58
Speaker
Oh, I like that. Those are good tips. Yeah. It was a good little ending. Do we have anything else to share? Should we move into pits and peaks? Let's do it. Okay. Caitlin, do you have a pit or a peak this week?
00:38:14
Speaker
Um, I don't, I mean, this is just a peak I've had for a while now is I have never, it there's, we still have a rotting pumpkin on our deck and I watch the squirrels eat it every single day. And she it is a peak of my day wait when I. Can we share that she texts us these photos and videos at all random time and of this squirrel eating the pumpkins. and Well, he has a friend now and Arbor named the first fat one. His name is Hakes. I don't know where that name came from. And then his friend is Joey. So Hakes and Joey go out there. Sometimes they fight, which is the, if you ever watched a squirrel fight, it's really entertaining. And we're so close to them because it's,
00:38:57
Speaker
like my, I could wash the dishes and just watch them go at this pumpkin. And then if I get my camera, I can zoom in on them eating it and their tiny little hands and their tiny little mouths. And I just, I love it so much. I'm going so sad when they're done. When that pumpkin is like drooling onto your. It's disgusting. Yeah. I has, he probably is removing it right now. We're supposed to have, um, doing an interview with a news crew about,
00:39:22
Speaker
saving money or not saving money, spending money during this the holiday season. And he's like, can we please get rid of the decrepit pumpkin on the deck? Like they're not to see it. just That's fine.
00:39:33
Speaker
Don't touch it. Do you, or your kids know Mark Rober? No. but Is that the squirrel guy? Well, he's an, and there is a squirrel guy on Tik TOK who will make like furniture and stuff for the squirrel. Mark Rober is an engineer, but he will make the most incredible things. And he has a YouTube channel that Arthur,
00:39:52
Speaker
loves, your kids would love it. But he, like he's the one who designed exploding packages for porch bandits and he has levels of exploding packages. So some of them, they explode with fart spray and some of them they explode with like glitter that then were in like self launching drones so that the glitter would get spread all over the house whenever they open it. And then you would have like, he's really fun to watch, but he set up a squirrel obstacle course in his backyard.
00:40:22
Speaker
And he learned to know all the squirrels. And so he named them and then he would talk about the way they would interact. And these obstacles that they had to go through were incredible. So go look up Mark Rober's squirrel obstacle course. Excited. I got to check this out with Nico. This sounds like...
00:40:41
Speaker
Oh, Nico would love him. He's the one who has these Crunch Lab boxes that you can get every – I feel like maybe Callie's kids might be too little. But it's – you can get a box. It's like Kiwi kids but more like engineering And you can get a box every month and you build like a little widget that'll shoot bottle caps or thing. This is right out my kid's alley. I need to get him on this because he watches some YouTuber that like sleeps in the mall and like in the grocery store. Mark Rober. It's like the weirdest thing. I'm like, yeah obviously this is all fake, buddy. Like.
00:41:19
Speaker
Sleeps in the grocery store. yeah Yeah. Okay. So my pit. goes along perfect with our topic for this week. So I made the mom mistake of dragging Nico to a Christmas ah experience walkthrough thing. It was my cousin. So my argument was to him, it's holiday wish here in Stanford. I was like, you know, it's a, we should go and support And your cousins will be there and some of my friends. And he was like, mom, I just want to chill. Like I i saw Santa last week. I don't need to see Santa again. And I don't care to take pick pictures. And you take videos and pictures and you say one and it's like 20. So I was like, okay, well, you have an hour and a half. Just think about it. And again, my thing was because it was our cousin and our family to just stop by quick. It meant a lot to him. And he did say thank you.
00:42:09
Speaker
But he was – Nico was just not having it. He was moody, hungry, whiny, like didn't it say hi to people. That drives me nuts when you see people and they're like, hi, how are you? And he's just, you know. So again, that was my fail and it's my fault and I should have just taken no for his answer and let him chill. But, you know, I tried to – yeah. So anyways. You can't have the Christmas spirit all the time. And I get it. Fair enough. Even Joe was like, I thought he told you no. And I'm like, I know.
00:42:38
Speaker
Not helpful, Joe. Not helpful. So anyways, um thank you for tuning in. No, it's Charlotte. Oh, did I cut you off, Charlotte? I'm sorry. She didn't get to give her paper. Oh, okay. i'm Sorry. I mean, it's not very exciting, but I do. Caitlin, you have my back, girl. Yes. I was waiting. I mean, I like to hear these. but This is so funny because this happens a lot. I feel like we always cut off the last person. Okay. I always forget. I always forget. Mine is so silly, but I can't help. We have to start late because – We have our lawn crew for like five things around the yard. I wish I could afford to have them for a billion things because you're looking at the lawn person. But having them clean up leaves is like the greatest, greatest. So I'm looking out at our not very nice lawn because of the aforementioned lack of funds for a lawn crew. But there's no leaves on it. and that feels so good and we had such a crazy storm yesterday it was so windy so i feel like a lot of them are down yeah not here not here i know so many i feel like our town comes and takes them away in the streets till what is it is it december 1st probably yeah wait what you mean they take them away you just have to put them in the street and they and there's a sweeper someone like
00:43:56
Speaker
Yeah, whatever. how Yeah, not a sweep or a vacuum. Yeah, that's ah that's a fancy area. You have to bag yours here if you want them to take them and then they tell you they're going to come on November 29th and then they sit and, you know, just get wet and disgusting for two weeks before they finally get to your house.
00:44:16
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, so. You're lucky. Yes. So, sorry, Charlotte, just for moms here. And Callie will be back uh, in a few episodes. Don't worry. Callie's not going anywhere.
00:44:32
Speaker
I know behind the curtain guys, we record two episodes at a time. So Callie's in availability right now means she can't come. Yes. and We record in 10 So leave us a five-star review and thank you all for tuning in. Megan, Charlotte, Caitlin, Callie will be back in a few weeks just for moms. And yeah, don't stress about the holidays. Don't Don't stress. wow Chill. Easy breezy. Make dad do it all.
00:45:02
Speaker
I've tried. Written down the words to say. It is time. I've been waiting five days. To explain.
00:45:13
Speaker
you make me feel inside. Baby.