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Sharenting in 2025: Parenting, Kid Privacy & Oversharing on Social Media
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Sharenting in 2025: Are We Oversharing Our Kids Online? | Just 4 Moms Podcast
From Taylor Swift at 4:30 a.m. to Merv the TikTok cat, Episode 32 kicks off with chaos, coffee, and confessions before diving into the real topic: SHARENTING.
The hosts unpack kid privacy, social media culture, digital risks, and the rise of child accounts online. They talk about why it “doesn’t jive” when kids interact with followers, how comment culture blurs boundaries, and why oversharing feels a lot like those old Christmas family letters.
They wrap with advice for new parents on posting their kids in 2025 and share their Pits & Peaks of the week.
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Transcript
Taylor Swift's New Album Discussion
00:00:00
Speaker
Callie, have you listened to any of Taylor Swift's new songs? I knew you would ask, and so I did. Yes! Yes. mean, somebody at school had to remind me. They already had asked, did you listen to the Taylor Swift? And I was like, no, I thought it came out, like, on the 16th.
00:00:15
Speaker
And they're like, no, no, no, it already came out. And so i was like, i better listen before we record. Okay. And I did. You'll be so proud. Yep. Did you like it? I mean, it's... It's fine.
00:00:26
Speaker
i don't dislike Taylor Swift. I just don't. I'm not. I don't understand like the full scope that everybody else does. I mean, i it's good. i liked some of the songs. Some of it.
00:00:37
Speaker
but It just it was fine. I actually like her. Like I've enjoyed watching her press tour and I like listening to her talk about the music and I find her witty and articulate and for the most part palatable and I like all the sourdough she's bringing to people with the puns.
00:00:53
Speaker
But none of that has to do with the music. Like the music I'm fine with, but i I appreciate her a lot more than like the songs themselves, if that makes sense. Yeah. Megan? i love I love this album.
00:01:05
Speaker
I went to the movie. I was like, this is so great. It reminds me of growing up and like that Britney Spears pop, but it's Taylor Swift. So it's like 10 times better.
00:01:18
Speaker
And I play the songs all the time in the house and in the car, they come on and everyone's like, I think I like this album better than everyone in my house. I don't know why. And I think I need to have a dance session with Caitlin and ah her daughters and maybe Callie will come over too. Yeah.
00:01:36
Speaker
I don't know. I'm all for I have a friend who's really into it. And I was like, I'm like, I would like go to a concert. Like I'm not against a good time. i just don't, I don't like, you know, i didn't know the day it came out. You know, that's, I'm just not there. Yeah. That's all. right Yeah. that's ah I mean, that's the normal way to live.
00:01:53
Speaker
I don't know. For most people, I don't think it is anymore. Yeah. that mean, her Swifty society is quite large. heavy Charlotte, would you come to our dance party too? If we had a Taylor Swift one?
00:02:05
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Let's do I don't know. I tried. I saw the movie. I listened to the album at four o'clock in the morning before i went on the internet and could text anyone or hear anybody else's thoughts about it. And I just have a lot of thoughts.
00:02:20
Speaker
I don't need to share them now, but I did try to learn the dance in her music video. And I will say that I don't understand how I could call myself a dancer when the more I do it, the worse I get.
00:02:31
Speaker
Like I just. No, I saw your moves with your daughter. That's why I said, let's have a big dance party. You did a good job. No, I've had two people on TikTok say, stop doing that.
00:02:43
Speaker
Oh. Yes. What is the movie? Do you trust TikTok comments? So she had, well, she did, I didn't even know what was happening. Annabelle was like, we're going to the movie.
00:02:54
Speaker
And I'm like, what movie? So she had, it's sort of a mini documentary where she explains all of the stories behind each song that she wrote. And then shows you a music video with the lyrics to the songs.
00:03:09
Speaker
Not a music video, but like a lyric video for each song. And then she showed how they made the Fate of Ophelia music video, which I will say was really cool to watch because they showed you the video.
00:03:20
Speaker
Then they showed you how they made it in multiple stages. And then they show you the video again. cute. I like that. Yeah. Did you, i don't know. I've never watched the making of a music video, but they don't play the music.
00:03:34
Speaker
during the music video when they're dancing and singing? Sometimes they do, but she doesn't because of, I've heard her talk about it. They all do it to a click track because they don't want the music to get out.
00:03:46
Speaker
And she said that some of the like key members of the video that do need to hear it will get a dedicated earpiece. But I've heard her talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. and It was really incredible to watch, especially from a dancer standpoint where I, Oh yeah.
00:04:00
Speaker
You see them all just doing it on a consistent click track. And it sounds like somebody's tapping a wooden, like a cowbell kind of thing. It was, that was really interesting to see. You you know what I want to order?
00:04:12
Speaker
And I feel like all of you would love this. And I learned it from her movie, that posture belt thing that she wears. That thing looks really... I feel like I need that. And I was like, at first, I didn't understand what she was wearing. And then I was like, oh, wow, it's for her posture. And she wears it during rehearsals.
00:04:31
Speaker
It was also... It was stand-up straight? It was a mic belt. But wasn't it for her posture too? Oh. No. Yeah, no, I think it was. On the top here, this part.
00:04:43
Speaker
Oh, yes, yes. There was something here. But the thing that she had around her... But up here... Because i cause I have one in my Amazon cart. Okay, so we need you to get this and wear it and report back. How about next episode?
00:04:58
Speaker
That's perfect. Done. I mean, I had some other things I wanted to chat about, but obviously that had to come up first. The second thing that I wanted to discuss is, I mean, I guess, wait, am I supposed to say, hi, welcome to
Lifestyle and Parenthood: Just for Moms
00:05:10
Speaker
episode 32? It's okay. Let's do that. Okay. Ideally. I guess.
00:05:13
Speaker
welcome to just for moms i'm charlotte i'm caitlin i'm megan and i'm callie we are regular moms talking about regular stuff like aging parenthood work-life balance and figuring out what's for dinner again no judgment zone to talk laugh and maybe cry about all the things women think about on a daily basis things i'll plan the things hi welcome to episode 32 of just for moms It's Caitlin, Charlotte, Callie, and Megan, and we're here.
00:05:42
Speaker
And today we're talking about um a whole bunch of stuff, but something really important I was thinking when I was in the shower the other morning is, when was the last time I changed this razor head?
00:05:53
Speaker
And then it got me thinking of all the things that I can never remember. When was the last time I changed them, such as my monthly contacts, my toothbrush. think if they' I think those were the three things. And I wanted to know if I'm the only person who does not keep track of this and just waits until my contacts are disintegrating or my razor keeps cutting me?
00:06:16
Speaker
Or do you guys keep track of this? No. What are psychopaths? Somebody has a calendar where they're like, changed my head today. I have a few things that are subscriptions on Amazon. Yes.
00:06:29
Speaker
But- They're not mission critical. It's like the collagen for my coffee. Yeah. Like that's just going to run out. And so this saves me the hassle. Yeah. It would be smart to do that sort of thing.
00:06:39
Speaker
Okay. I wish everything like my coffee machine tells me it has like a filter and then, you know, it'll be like 10% until, and of course I just wait until it's like, it's gone. And then I still wait like a week before I change it. But I wish everything just had that.
00:06:55
Speaker
Yeah. I wish my sheets would be like, it's been a week. And then my razor would be like, hey, we don't work anymore. Wouldn't that be nice? That would be so nice if they could talk. Yeah. All right. You guys made me feel better because I was thinking, man.
00:07:10
Speaker
um And then I was thinking about our last episode where Charlotte was bringing up all of these viral TikTok funny, silly things and videos that people know about.
00:07:21
Speaker
And it reminded me of this cat. His name is Merv. And he's Murph the talking cat. And I have... I saw him... Because I'll go through stages where I download TikTok and then I'm really into it and then I delete it for a while.
00:07:35
Speaker
And this was years ago. And I thought it was fake because the cat talks. like he Like he actually talks. Charlotte's face.
00:07:48
Speaker
And I thought... The bowing sounds like words? Yes. So they'll say... I'm trying to think of an example. i should just pull it up right now. I should have written it down. I feel like I've seen this. he's Like our early internet age. Yes. Like the internet 15 years ago. Okay.
00:08:04
Speaker
Oh, no, no. he's He just came around, ah um came on the scene around COVID times. And his dad was the cat's dad. The owner of the cat is an actor in And he's best friends with someone from the show Blossom. Remember that show?
00:08:21
Speaker
Yes. Actually, I think Blossom herself and him are best friends. And so in the beginning of his TikToks, it's- The cat with the dad. The dad. The dad and Blossom, like in the tick the beginning of his account, it's just them talking. And then all of a sudden he gets this cat and he keeps talking about how the cat seems to mimic him.
00:08:39
Speaker
So if he says, here, kitty, kitty, he'll be like, alright by my mom and then it starts developing into like a language and they'll say, Merv, are you hungry? And I'll say, Merv hungry. And I kid you not,
00:08:52
Speaker
They live in Australia now and they were just on the news there. It's become this huge thing because the cat talks back. Wow. I've never seen this. No.
00:09:03
Speaker
But I will Google it as soon as we are done here. You're not even going to believe me. You're going to write me back and be like, this is fake. This is AI. It's not. And it's seen before. ah And you you log on every day to check out his TikToks and reels? No. Okay. Okay.
00:09:18
Speaker
Okay. Okay. I wasn't sure. Right now, right now it's a lot of ads because now he's become famous, but it's made me think when muffin is meowing at me, and maybe he's trying to tell me something like Merv.
00:09:33
Speaker
So, yeah, you never know. I mean, it's just, it's just me. All right. Oh my gosh. Okay. So many, guys, how many mom fails this week?
00:09:46
Speaker
Oh, I do. i mean, so I have one child who is so over-the-top dramatic when they're sick to the point where i'm like, it can't be that bad. And so I overcorrect by, like, I don't say it out loud, but it's hard to meet this child where they are because it's like, I just, I don't, I don't that bad.
00:10:11
Speaker
Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I feel like an asshole because I just do. But also, like, it's so consistent and, like, there's not a fever. Like, and'll be like my throat is so sore.
00:10:27
Speaker
And I'm like, I can't. There's not a fix for that. Like, here's the lozenges and the hot water and the cold water. And I think you're just going to have to, like, hunker down and, like, get through it.
00:10:39
Speaker
And then the next day, a little better. And then... the next day, it's all better. And I just, I don't know. I just feel like a jerk. Don't feel like a jerk because I'm the same.
00:10:51
Speaker
I have one too. Yeah, so do I. or Yeah. Whose stomach hurts whenever she's tired and we finally made the, yeah, or don't want to do something and we finally made the correlation that you just need to go to sleep.
00:11:02
Speaker
Yeah. But for years it was, i my stomach, my stomach. And so I finally stopped caring and then all of a sudden I'm wait a minute, she's passing out every time. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:13
Speaker
Yeah. Don't feel bad. Well, and then and i don't know, like i also have this with kids where the more they perseverate on something, like then it does become a thing because like one time there was a cough and oh, my chest hurts and I can't breathe.
00:11:29
Speaker
And then the anxiety kicks in. And so yeah it's like, I think you just need to chill. I think you just need to chill out. Like let's watch a movie and then it'll all get better.
00:11:40
Speaker
They work themselves into a swivet. Yeah. yes yeah And they know how to milk it too. I just had one home for three days and I was like, the whole time I was like, I think you can go to school. I think.
00:11:51
Speaker
Let's yeah like, and finally on day three, I was like, no, this is enough of this. Like, no. ah Yeah. so Yeah. It's just, yeah. Cause you feel like, you know, anxious for them, but are they being an actress?
00:12:05
Speaker
I don't know. Yeah, and then it's the boy who cried wolf, and you don't know when they actually are sick. Megan, how what's going on with you? Anything? Yes, I have a mom fail. So ah back in the spring, our dentist for my third child, my my last, and I'm not having any more, was like, hey, so your son's teeth ah looks like he doesn't have any room for anything. I don't know. When was it? March, April, right?
00:12:32
Speaker
Summer came. you know She told me, the dentist, you need to make an ortho appointment. I was kind of like, all right, when you know summer, I'll get around to it. And then we just went and had his teeth cleaned in September. And she's like, so remember i told you back like six months ago when you were here?
00:12:50
Speaker
um She's like, have you made that appointment? like, I actually have. We're going in a few weeks. And sure enough, Nico has an underbite. But they were like, yeah, no, you should have gotten in here way sooner. And it's going to take like six months now for this and another because like you should have came in sooner. And I'm like, okay, sorry. But like I'm here now. Let's just tackle it. So that's my mom fail that I just put it off too long. But it's finally in the process.
00:13:16
Speaker
So. But I feel like that's an opinion. Like, our orthodontists won't see any of our kids until half their teeth are gone. Like, Nico definitely has a ton of teeth to lose. Yeah. It's like... It's because there's this underbite thing where... And they showed me in the x-ray. Like, nothing can come in.
00:13:33
Speaker
So, it's... critin It's... I agree, Charlotte. Because one of my other two, I was in no rush. But I guess this is a little more severe because nothing can come in. His mouth is so small. And he has an underbite. So, I've never had...
00:13:47
Speaker
Like, I know overbites, but this is like, he's crushing his front teeth like that. So nor are they going to pull teeth? We're going to start with the expander, but I guess the expander should have been put on, you know, six months ago when she told me because nothing can come in, nothing this, nothing that, roots, you know, it can create this whole thing. And you're right. There is opinions, but apparently I, you know, I'm slow, but we're on it now. So it is what it is.
00:14:16
Speaker
You know what? Good job. Yeah. In the olden days, they didn't have the technology look at that kind of stuff. And know you would have just had a jacked up mouth. You'd be on a liquid diet. Yep. Yeah. Callie, what did you fail at this week?
00:14:29
Speaker
So we have a laundry basket that lives at the bottom of our stairs for all of the dirty stuff that happens downstairs, which is a lot because the children are dish towels, kids spilling stuff all over themselves, whatever.
00:14:41
Speaker
It fills up in less than two days and it goes upstairs and it gets washed. The other day, something smells in our house and like we cannot figure out where the smell is coming from. Obviously, I've already spoiled this, but like we are convinced that a pipe like this is how bad it smells. A pipe inside of our wall.
00:14:57
Speaker
We have called plumbers to get them to come out like one of our pipes for sure has has burst. And there. Nope. It was just. The laundry, like they were just there. They smell that bad. It was just that vile literally had been cleaned less than 48 hours ago, because that's how often I have to wash this laundry basket. It just smelled so bad.
00:15:18
Speaker
And thank God we discovered it. Like, of course, because plumbers never call you back. Yeah. So thank God the plumber hadn't come out yet. to fix anything. Do we think it was like a mixture of like poop and puke and pee or? I checked.
00:15:31
Speaker
I was like, there's gotta be a diaper. There's the first person sort of diaper. No, I don't even, I still don't know what's, all I can think is milk maybe, yeah you know, yeah but even milk, within 48 hours. I don't know.
00:15:43
Speaker
Like I said, it's like that thing gets cleaned. It's fills fast. So it's not like it was sitting there for a week. If it was a week, I could get milk. I don't know. It's just something gross. Kids smell. Yeah. We have it. We currently have a smell situation in our house. I can't figure out where it's coming from, but it's when I walk in the house, it smells like daddy animal, maybe, or rotten meat.
00:16:06
Speaker
Yeah. And it's the living room and I haven't found an animal or like a hidden thing of meat. So I don't know what stinks. I mean, Arbor is notorious for, I have found all kinds of food hidden around my house, but I don't think she would have ever had raw meat and stuck it in the cabinet in the living room. maybe it's in the couch cushions or something.
00:16:27
Speaker
I looked. Yeah. and know. that Even like a beef stick. They don't, they don't like, disintegrate and stink. Yeah. So and yeah, I feel that on the stinky thing. I just wish that we could find what it is.
Navigating Online Sharing and Privacy
00:16:40
Speaker
I don't, I wouldn't, my fail is something that I've just kind of, it dawned on me the other day because of the Taylor Swift album. I was talking to my oldest. I drive her to school every day.
00:16:51
Speaker
i really appreciate our time together in the car. And I don't know when I just decided that I could start saying like taking our conversations to the next level where I might talk about more mature topics, but it suddenly happened one day.
00:17:06
Speaker
And then as we're listening to the Taylor Swift album and there's a lot of inappropriate things in there, i just kept changing the songs and saying, maybe we we don't need to hear this one. And she's like, well, why not? and I'm like, cause there's language in there. You don't really need to listen to.
00:17:22
Speaker
She's well, I already heard it. and And then I realized, like, i nope, never mind. I'm not ready to go to the next level. We're not talking about what that word meant. And and she she seems fine with it. But I don't know when you guys do – well, Megan and Charlotte, you're the only ones who would go to that next level with your kids to discuss. Only if they ask for songs. I mean, I just think of the songs that we listen to.
00:17:44
Speaker
it just It's like a different part of your brain, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I don't look into it. And again, like that song, Wood, that everyone's of of Taylor's that's sexual.
00:17:55
Speaker
I mean, my girls listen to it. I don't think they understand. So I'm just like, you know. So Wood, she said, why is this one you didn't want us to listen to? And I was like. Oh, you did it to yourself.
00:18:10
Speaker
I said, I just think she's talking about more mature topics than we should discuss here. And then we went and saw the movie where they changed the lyrics and she talks about opening skies instead of her thighs. And I'm just waiting for Annabelle to be like, wait a minute, why the play on words? Why does she say skies instead of thighs? And I'm like, oh go talk to your dad. yeah And then Brandon has a heart attack and that's the end of him.
00:18:37
Speaker
Speaking of, you know, our kids, our topic this week is, i don't even know how I thought of this. It's about sharenting, which sounds like sharp to me. So that was just, I had a good giggle while I was thinking about that.
00:18:52
Speaker
Sharenting and how we balance capturing memories while protecting our kids' privacy. And I guess I should define sharenting for everyone who's listening and they're like, stop saying that word and just tell me what it means.
00:19:03
Speaker
The first time that it was used was in 2012 in an article that was published in the Wall Street Journal by a man named Stephen Leckhardt. And the article was called The Facebook Free Baby, and it described the phenomenon of parents publicly sharing images and personal personal details of their children online and it becoming too much.
00:19:28
Speaker
You know, and I guess in 2012, I think back, Facebook was huge. So people just oversharing their child. And now where we are 2025,
00:19:39
Speaker
and twenty twenty five There is a clear divide between people on social media who will show their children to a, you know, just like basic level, people who overshare their children and then people who don't share their children at all, going so far as to put an emoji over their child's face, never showing the front of the child or even mentioning their names and so on and so forth.
00:20:04
Speaker
So, you know, I wanted to look into the negatives and maybe is there some positives of so sharing your children online? And since we're all in social media and have this presence online, you know, your thoughts about it.
00:20:19
Speaker
So before I kind of ramble a little bit into statistics, i I just kind of want to get all of your opinions on it. Where you stand? Are you pro? I share my kids or.
00:20:30
Speaker
what level where What level are you at? Let's let's go there. Callie. Yeah, I mean, I feel like it's a little weird because all of us enter the social media place like when it was early.
00:20:42
Speaker
And like people were just, we were sharing, people shared everything publicly. Like we were all just sharing our lives without really thinking about any of the consequences, whether it was our kids or not our kids. It was like we made our lives so public. And then I think,
00:20:57
Speaker
um A lot of us either entered parenthood during that or we already were parents. And then like with everything that we shared online, we started to like question everything. We're like, wait, we shouldn't share where we are until we've left that location.
00:21:10
Speaker
and so I think ah a lot of us have probably sort of peeled back how much we shared of our kids as we sort of navigated it. So it's like sort of weird for us because I feel like, yeah, we entered like at the beginning.
00:21:21
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not all the way on one side where I don't share my children or I don't share their names. Obviously, my children have been on my social media. I just, at this point, I'm just like, I'm selective with what I share. Like if it's not...
00:21:36
Speaker
part of the story that I need to tell then I don't share it I tend to if I talk about something and parenting like we do in this podcast like I just talk about it as a mother and not about my specific child and that's sort of where I am with it now I feel like I don't know i just I feel like everything on the internet it's like like you said it's like people have to go all the way one side or all the way the other I just I think that there's middle ground what about you Charlotte I think I'm probably in the same boat.
00:22:06
Speaker
You know, I think when it first started, like back to the original sharenting, like the people that we were engaging with on Facebook were people that we were, quote, friends with. Like there wasn't this sort of anonymous category. Like maybe there were business pages, but I definitely was sharing baby pictures on Facebook because everyone who would see them, I knew. Right.
00:22:28
Speaker
And so now that I have more people following me and I don't know everyone, I guess I try to question if it's through my lens. So if it's, if I'm talking about me as a person or me as a mother, and it includes my kids, I might talk about them, but I won't put them on blast. I i don't really, the little ones still don't care when it comes to showing like their pictures.
00:22:54
Speaker
i don't know. I'll share it occasionally. i mean, they're out there in public, I guess, if If you're a celebrity, I can appreciate blocking off the faces, but like, I don't know. It's not like they have a hood when we go to stop and shop. Like people are looking at these kids all the time. I don't know. I know that may be sort of simplistic.
00:23:10
Speaker
So I guess the older kids are a little more sensitive. I do ask before I share them, but yeah, I'm probably right in the middle. I'm same as you, Callie. I don't know. Megan? I would feel, and for me, I definitely overshare.
00:23:27
Speaker
But there's a difference, and it's funny you mentioned Facebook. I feel like Facebook is like my personal friends, and it's my Facebook page personal is private. So I share a lot of family experiences and photos there that I won't share on Instagram to all these followers that I don't personally know.
00:23:48
Speaker
So – and on Instagram, now that I have two teenagers – Some of their friends follow me or check out my page. So I feel like my two older ones don't want to be on there as much, which I'm fine with. And I respect that.
00:24:06
Speaker
And I feel like the only time they do want to be on my Instagram page is if it benefits them in some way. Like, you know, if we're working with Roller Rabbit or something like that. But I don't post them...
00:24:20
Speaker
a ton or I have to ask, I'll ask first, hey, is it okay if I post this, you know, or are you okay with this? Like Nico doesn't care. He's young. He's eight. He like, likes being on it. And if he doesn't want to do it, I'm like, fine. But yeah, now that they're older, i would never force them to do it. Cause I don't want them to remember me as the mom that was like, you know, making them do stuff. I mean, maybe when they were younger, I could have,
00:24:47
Speaker
a little more, you know, but now it's like they're there. there I have to respect that. And I do. And I also try to be cautious with other kids in our photos.
00:25:00
Speaker
You know, if I'm ever posting like a team photo or something from like a soccer game, I'll be like to the parents, you know, I'm so proud of them. Do you, are you okay with me posting it? And if one of the parents is like, no, and I'm like, okay, no problem. But I feel like you definitely have to ask when there's other people's kids in things.
00:25:16
Speaker
Um, Otherwise that can open a whole can of worms. And I respect that because some people don't want their, their kids on social media. So it's, it's tricky. It's hard, but you know, I just feel like I just want my kids to be comfortable with what I do and you all go through this too. So it's, it is what it is.
00:25:37
Speaker
Yeah. I think, I mean, I, I, I, went into this knowing how how much and what you share of your children. But you know, our listeners don't know that. I think I'm pretty similar in what I share and the purpose of me sharing things sometimes is just silly, pointless stuff.
00:25:54
Speaker
But most of the time, if I'm sharing on social media, there was a thought and an intention behind it. And it's never to shame or to embarrass or anything like that. And for for me, Facebook is pretty much the same. It's more of my personal space.
00:26:08
Speaker
I upload ridiculous amounts of photos to albums to keep track of things. Right now in 2025, this whole idea of sharing or just sharing your kids online is a huge topic because there's people that are new to the space as a new parent and they're, you know, which way do I go?
00:26:31
Speaker
And so the scary stuff. I found a study in 2023 in Frontiers. It's called Frontiers in Psychology. And they found that while many parents believe sharenting strengthens online communities, it also increases risks of identity fraud, digital kidnapping and long term psychological harm, as well as exposing children to ai opportunities where their image might be used, cyberbullying and so on and so forth.
00:26:59
Speaker
So Like if you, if you Google this, it's, there's a lot of, it's like, don't post your child and just all of this stuff. And it's not just someone who's in social, has a social presence.
00:27:11
Speaker
You think about it, all parents that have a social media account post, they have to think before they post, you know, because people can see your stuff if your account's not private. The positive aspect of it all is that sharing your children online can create a digital archive of growth, milestones, and everyday moments for you to look back on.
00:27:32
Speaker
It can be a source of joy when a parent shares positive news or a special occasion for extended family and friends who may live far away. And there is a sense of community that can form if you're sharing your children that maybe you might find someone who's going through the same thing as you.
00:27:49
Speaker
So I thought this topic was important because I have seen some discussion on social media lately of people who have shared their children already deciding not to share them anymore. And it kind of blows my mind because I'm like, well, wait, are you going to go back and delete everything you've ever done? And or and if you've ever been on the news or if you've ever been in a published article with all of your children, are you going back now to these places and having them remove your child's photo?
00:28:16
Speaker
Because you can Google and find anything. So, you know, it's It's like once you're in, you're in, right?
00:28:27
Speaker
That was a question. Yeah. No, you're right. I mean, it is. Because we do – I do follow some accounts like this, Caitlin, and I have noticed that all a sudden they stop showing their kids. And I respect that, but you're right. Do they go back in and delete every single thing?
00:28:42
Speaker
Or they just start like, tomorrow I'm going to start not posting my kids. So do I leave everything else up? I know. It's – I guess it's just how that person wants to handle it.
00:28:54
Speaker
Yeah, and how much of the scary stuff is going to pertain to you. I mean, it's one of those things that, you know, there's risks of being abducted, but is that going to actually happen?
00:29:06
Speaker
I think that's where I land is I don't feel like I'm sharing my kids enough to – I don't know. You're right. They're out there. And so – They're out there, but I guess... I don't know. There's just... There's so many things to worry about that part of me is like... I don't... I just can't have this be one of them.
00:29:30
Speaker
And... I don't know. Like, I guess... ah there's so many scenarios you can play out where it's like, oh, and now they know what your kids look like. And could they like, okay, we could do the what if game, but I guess for me that feels like a stretch. And so, you know, I'm sharing them. Like, I can't think of it the last time one of my kids was on one of my stories. I mean, I guess I share maybe Arthur and I walking to the bus in the morning.
00:29:57
Speaker
Like if that's what is, if someone is going to take that, then I just think there's, We're already long gone. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like it's one of those things. i mean, and I'm not trying to like discount that we shouldn't be careful, but I do feel like it's one of those things like so much on the internet where.
00:30:17
Speaker
the one like evil side blows up to the point where, I mean, no wonder every parent has just crippling and anxiety. you know i mean, you can think about things with foods that we're feeding our kids or you know all sorts of stuff.
00:30:34
Speaker
So I do feel like, and and i'm again, I'm not trying to like discredit it and I'm not trying to shame anyone who's decided not to show their child. i think that's totally fine. It's a choice to do. But i do think if you're somebody who you're like, oh, my God, you know, I should have never done this or like you're having all of this like shame or worry about.
00:30:52
Speaker
a couple of photos that you've put up of your kids. I do think that, you know, maybe it's, it's one of those things that like going back to my point at the beginning, there is some middle ground.
00:31:04
Speaker
I do think it's great that we've thought about it as, as parents. And I think that it's smart for us to, to check ourselves. Cause I think probably whether our kids are involved or not, I think we've all shared something and then be like, Oh, we shouldn't have done that.
00:31:17
Speaker
So I think it's good that just in general, we're starting to think a little bit more about what we put out publicly because it's become so quick and instantaneously that we can do it. But I do, I think that there's some, some fear mongering going around in that sphere.
00:31:32
Speaker
Yeah. When I was trying to find positives, it was like negative, negative, negative, negative. Ooh, here's a good line. And then just the rest garbage, like don't share anything about your kids. And I, you know, I ask my children before I share stuff,
00:31:46
Speaker
You know, it's like the other day I did a dance with my daughter and I put it on the internet yeah and she knew it. And sure, somebody out there is going to tell me, well, she's too young to make that decision that you put her on there. But it's, yeah, i'm I'm the parent, not you. Like i mean the one positive I can think of, Caitlin, again, this goes to Facebook, not my public Instagram, is my ah private Facebook.
00:32:10
Speaker
I like to see like my friends and family – pictures of their kids so that I know what's going on in their families, with their families. Then I see them somewhere. i'm like, oh, hey, I saw that you know Jackson won at the swim meet. That's so great. So it keeps me in the loop.
00:32:27
Speaker
And again, those are all private pages on it Facebook. You can, obviously, anything on the internet once you post it. But I'm just saying like our pages are private. So like keeping in the loop of what people are up to and like aunts and uncles that live far away, you know, that would be for me the only, you know, I guess that's a positive thing is posting stuff so they can keep up to date with my kids if I'm not seeing them. And then also I get to see it too.
00:32:55
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, that's one of my favorite things about it is that I can see my husband's family that lives in different states and what they're up to. And a lot of times their family accounts are private or it's shared within a closed circle. And so,
00:33:10
Speaker
I really appreciate that aspect of it. It's just there the fear mongering is real, I think, and for new parents. ye And there's you know there's different ways that you can share without oversharing. What are your thoughts on parents who create accounts for their kids like individually and then let their kids take them over?
00:33:35
Speaker
Because that's in the dance world. is a new thing oh boy to me where I'll see a dancer at a competition and then i hear the dance studio they go to and you go to the dance studio page and the child has their own page, but it's run by the mom account.
00:33:54
Speaker
And I thought that that's something new I have never seen before. And I told my kids we're not doing that. I have no reason to be doing mean, I guess my knee jerk reaction to that is I worry that it's setting sort of the wrong tone. Like you're showing this kid, even if they have nothing to do with it, that social media and a social media presence is an important part of one's identity and it's a valuable commodity. I mean, yes, the hypocrisy of me saying that is real because that's a big part of my business. But I guess it's one thing to sort of, but I don't know. i guess for me, a business is different than it feels, I worry that it's like being a popular kid, like it's just setting the wrong
00:34:37
Speaker
value system. But I also feel like I could have the conversation with someone who would be like, yeah, it's a nice way to save highlights. And like, I'm sure there's a rationale behind it other than i just want you to have like a, I don't know.
00:34:52
Speaker
I guess I would want to know the rationale. If it's just ah like a holding area for fun stuff, like a bulletin board, then I certainly don't have the time to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Like I know my friend's had one for her daughter because she's trying to get into college for soccer.
00:35:08
Speaker
You know, so it's like her soccer skills and highlights. That I get. The dance. Me too. I mean, all ah are they trying to get into a summer intensive by posting this? You know, I feel like there has to be like a reason or, like Charlotte said, it's just for the popularity.
00:35:25
Speaker
So I it think it just depends on the person.
00:35:33
Speaker
It's scary. I mean, it's so the the idea of it's sort of scary. Like whenever I see kid accounts, it kind of freaks me out. And I try to, like Charlotte said, you know I try to be like, there's got to I'm sure there's other reasons to it.
00:35:47
Speaker
But children on social media, like in their own way or when they have their own accounts and they're like talking to the, it just, it gives me like, there's just something about it that just does not jive right with me.
00:35:58
Speaker
And especially because it's so different to me than just creating an archive of something that maybe you're going to send to a school because there's a social, unless it's a private account, there's a social piece of it.
00:36:10
Speaker
And there's all these people who can see it and they can like it and they can comment on it. And I really worry about a child than being able to read and see all of this feedback about themselves, especially just, yeah, I mean, kids like their brains are not even fully developed. And like, we're like, you can't drive cars and go to war, but like you can, I don't know.
00:36:30
Speaker
I just, that's my. Right. My, it's that performative aspect. And then I also worry like I don't know, the hardest thing about being a parent is un-nodding my identity and ego with that of my kids.
00:36:44
Speaker
Like keeping those two things separate is really hard. And I think as parents, we can't help but, you know, see what our kids do and feel personal pride in what they do.
00:36:55
Speaker
And then the flip side of that is if our kids like screw up, we feel like, it's a hit to our ego. And I guess I worry that I worry where are the motives for that? Is it the parent being able to sort of brag on their kid and be like, look at, like, look at all this stuff that they did. And is it hiding behind like the altruism of whatever the intent is, or I don't know, I guess that's where it feels like it could get sort of murky and, um, dangerous, not from like a safety point of view, just from a development.
00:37:27
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I think about, accounts, people I personally know who overshare their children's accomplishments just over and over and over again.
00:37:39
Speaker
and I can't help but think, are they allowed to fail? You know, like, are what what kind of standards are you setting for your child? And but then again, who are you really going to post my kid didn't do so great at the cross country meet last week, like better, better luck next time? Like, I don't know. That's just When I think about the Facebook sharing, because that's usually where I see it, there's a lot of you know listing of the accomplishments of that week or of the you know the month. And does your child want you sharing that? does your
00:38:12
Speaker
you know Or what's your intention of sharing that? If it's not for family and friends to keep an update in your life, then are who are you doing this for? Wait, can I? Well, it sort of exacerbates that like highlight real aspect of social media that is just part of the nonsense.
00:38:29
Speaker
Yeah. um So there's this family friend and she i she got an award and then she got a job and blah, blah, blah.
00:38:41
Speaker
And the way this girl posted it on Facebook, it was like, so I would like to thank congratulations to myself and to my mom and my dad and my brother. I worked so hard for my first job and blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:38:54
Speaker
And I went to college and these were my friends and thank you to them. And I was like, wow. Wait, was she serious? or we al tongue end up Oh two? No. Oh. Like an Academy Award. Like I'd like to thank and congratulations to me. And I'm like, okay, good for you.
00:39:11
Speaker
Who's the woman that accepted an award? And she was like, I'd like to thank me stifler's mom stifler's mom whatever her name is jennifer coolidge that yeah jennifer coolidge someone else did that yeah someone else did yeah yeah oh i think there was a there was like in the early days of tic-tac an audio wasn't yeah i don't even know what what do we call now snoop dog well snoop dog does maybe right where like every mother's day for oh you're right i think it was snoop dog yeah yeah I know. Or there was a golf one too this summer. My brother sent to me this kid that we grew up with. And I don't really care if he hears this because who posts this
00:39:49
Speaker
He won like the the country club membership, right? And same thing. It was like seventh year in a row, I'm number one. And I'd like to thank my wife and my kids and my mom and this pro for teaching me this. And I'm like, dude, seriously, you're like 40 years old. Like who writes that?
00:40:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:09
Speaker
Well, before you had Facebook, I don't know, do you, there's still people who do this, but I remember being little and every Christmas we would get a letter in the mail. Yes. from my but With a full write-up of the whole family's accomplishments for the year. Yes. and my i swear my mom one year was like, I cannot wait to write one that's just awful. Like, I'm going send all of our bad stuff. I was just thinking about that when you said that. I was like, wouldn't it be funny to do one be like, here's some stuff we did and like, here's all and every shit hit the wall. We had a friend who used to do that. They do, you know, like this year, you know, John finally worked out his like foot fungus situation. That's awesome. Yeah.
00:40:52
Speaker
that's awesome would I actually would love that if people did both the the the pros and the cons. Yeah, that would be funny. On one side, you have like the family is great milestones of 2025. And then on the other side, it's like, and here's why it also sucked.
00:41:09
Speaker
Yes. That would be wonderful. If someone could do that for me, i would love it. Well, you know, I was I feel like we should give some advice to any new parents who are feeling like, oh wow, should I not share? Should I share? You know. My ah hold on, I just lost my notes.
00:41:30
Speaker
um I know you guys all thought of something. Oh, hi. no I know you all thought of something. So if anybody wants to start and say some advice to a new parent who's, you know, doesn't really know how to navigate the world of sharing your child on social media.
00:41:48
Speaker
I feel like I have like two basic rules that I use. The first one is I, especially since my kids are younger and they're not older, like your kids were like, they'd be like, don't post that. They don't even know what that means.
00:41:59
Speaker
So I always ask myself, would this be embarrassing to them when they're 10, 15 and 21? And then the other thing I've started doing a lot more is like, which goes back to what we were just saying is I always like check my ego about it.
00:42:13
Speaker
Sort of like you were just saying, I'm like, am I posting this just because I think it's going to make my kid look great or thus make me look like a good parent? Like, is it is this an ego thing? Which is something that I've been doing a lot more recently too. And I feel like that is helpful. um Good. Yeah.
00:42:29
Speaker
That's the ego thing for me. Like, what is the purpose? Is the purpose to is this like a shared experience that everyone can relate to? Is it somehow highlighting and centering my kid? Is it somehow centering me because of my kid?
00:42:45
Speaker
So I think of the purpose. I think of like the frequency. i don't know if that's part of it. And then, um, like what is the occasion? I don't know. Like sharing my kid on their birthday feels like a reasonable time to share it. And then,
00:43:00
Speaker
I definitely do the, like if they were sitting around the cafeteria table with all their friends watching this next to them, would they laugh and find it silly? Would it be innocuous or would they be horrified?
00:43:11
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Megan, do you have anything different to add? Yeah, sort of the same. Just you know do what's best for your house and what feels right inside for you. And I would say just respect your kids. If they don't want something posted or they see something, like sometimes I'm proud of Gianna. And so I try not to do it in a bragging way. I mean, probably it does come over that way where like she scored a goal and I'll be like, wow, great job by Gianna. And it was a team effort and they won. So it's like I'm trying to make it like a team thing too.
00:43:41
Speaker
And she'll be like, mom, take that down. I'm like, okay, fine. I'll take it down. You know, I was just so proud of you, you know? And I'm like, she's like yeah, no mom, it was cringe. I'm like, okay, fine. Delete. And that's that.
00:43:53
Speaker
I think my best advice would be to not let other people dictate what you do. So you want to share your kid, then share your kid. If your best friend's mad at you for sharing your kid, well, it's not hers.
00:44:07
Speaker
And then if you have somebody pressuring you to share something, Because they don't live in the same state as you or you don't see each other often. That's why you can email photos and text messaging.
00:44:17
Speaker
Oh, yeah. mic My sister-in-law does the shared album because she doesn't like social media. So we get that. Yeah. So there's there's options.
Family and Personal Stories
00:44:26
Speaker
At this point of our episode, I think we're going to move into pits and peaks where if anybody has any great things to share not so great things to share.
00:44:37
Speaker
i don't even know what I'm sharing this week, so... I get to see my daughter. Yay. I haven't seen her. She went away to school when I was gone for work. So I haven't seen her in person for.
00:44:50
Speaker
Since January. No, no, wait, I'm sorry. We're in the fall. and ah i was going back to like the last time we were on break from school. And so in my mind that was January.
00:45:02
Speaker
It's not, it was the summer. It's fine. I'm fine. We're good. So since the summer. Yes. Yeah. yeah Great. Wait, you go up there. I will go up and spend the night and go to classes and stuff. And then she gets to come home for the weekend. And then we put her on a bus on Tuesday and she goes back.
00:45:20
Speaker
Nice. Oh, but that's still, that's so fun. Yeah. Good. Megan or Callie? Go ahead, Callie. I have a peak. So Miles turns seven. This coming, not this weekend, but this next weekend.
00:45:33
Speaker
So in our house, kids get to pick what they want for dinner and they get to pick what their cake is. Miles is picking sushi and a marble cake with chocolate frosting, which is like exactly what I would pick.
00:45:45
Speaker
And I was like, wow, this is the best. This is the best thing ever. i love it that he's already weighed in. Like he knows. Oh, yeah, yeah. We've been talking about it for – I mean I've been asking for weeks. I need to know what are we eating. Yeah.
00:45:58
Speaker
I'm sure I've shared this before. My brother's meal of choice was always fish sticks. Ugh. Which are – like so sad yeah i mean like it's just a little bit like i feel like it's pizza mac and cheese has been like the go or like mcdonald's drive-thru you know so like now we're trying to we're on the air charlotte's like maybe he's gonna change and he's like get out that box of fish oh let's go reheat those we were like yay happy birthday
00:46:29
Speaker
How about you, Megan? So I have a peek. So it was October 1st and Nico was like, mom, none of the Halloween decorations are up. Like, let's go. Like, where's all the pumpkins? Where's all the witches?
00:46:40
Speaker
So I felt the pressure and I did the front porch and I have this awful inflatable hanging from my roof. It's like a dog with a skeleton in its mouth. And I didn't tell him he got off the bus.
00:46:55
Speaker
I'll share my stories and He was like, best day ever. Like, whoa. And I'm like, bi and then my teenagers are like, mom, that thing, like really? Like you my friends can't see that on her house.
00:47:10
Speaker
I love that. That's awesome. um Wait, Callie and Charlotte, is your house, is Skelly up? No, I need to. I was trying to finish Eleanor's bedroom before she come home. So I might do it today or tomorrow. love her.
00:47:23
Speaker
And Callie, do you do any outdoor? Yeah, we have a single, we live where people trick or treat. So you do by Halloween, I need to be ready. But a lot of people don't decorate until like the two weeks before. I don't know. It's just a weird, that's how they are here.
00:47:37
Speaker
Anyways, I put up a skeleton and then this is going to be, end up being a longer story than I anticipated it being. My, Miles wanted to decorate the windows. And so one morning he spent hours making ghosts, but like out of paper towels, which God bless him. So keep another paper towel hanging in my front window.
00:47:52
Speaker
And I like want to be the cool mom and be like, that's great. I love, but I, paper towels literally paper towels hanging in soap ah michael and i had this powwow because i was having a lot of guilt i was like michael am i killing his creativity by telling him he can't have paper towels hanging in the front like am i a horrible mother so we finally decided that we're gonna make black cut out ghosts and then i i bought green tissue paper gonna like shine it anyways so this weekend where that's my long way of telling you this weekend we're gonna do that so it's kind of decorated but just with paper like from the outside it looks like i have paper towels hanging in my
00:48:25
Speaker
and i way Maybe it looks like something else too. It's not good. I just, I mean, and we had a whole thing and I tried to be like, why don't you decorate the bedrooms? But like, he's old enough to know that you decorate the front that people can see. yeah And like, he's, he made some really cool. I mean, they're very cool.
00:48:43
Speaker
And I'm like, why can't you be just chill, mom? Just like, let it, let him have it. Just do it. But then part of me is like, I don't know. Are you supposed to just let kids do whatever it is my house? You know, he's a kid. And so I'm walking this very fine line right now of, of what may be too small to see from the road for the trick or they are not too, they're not small. No, that is not the problem.
00:49:03
Speaker
So anyways, i see them ah so I really would like to see them. We are, we're fully in, Halloween decoration mode outside. i Every time I see the spiderwebs on the bush, I'm like, what is that? Oh, yeah, there's spiderwebs. My peak, oh, we're going to Cape Cod this weekend for fall break. Yay.
00:49:24
Speaker
It's a little of ah bit of a pit because I guess there's this nor'easter, right? It's supposed rain, but I don't care. ah Sounds cozy. Yeah, the house is right overlooking the water, and it'll be fun to get away.
00:49:39
Speaker
So, yeah, that I think that is, that's it, guys. That's the end of our episode. That's all she wrote. We did it. Hope you have a good day. I'm going to go set up my skeleton. Yes. Goodbye.
00:49:53
Speaker
Goodbye.