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S2E2: Running it back with DMG
28 Plays3 days ago
Our patriarch, main character, and specialist guest makes his season 2 debut. Tune in for a bit of our dad’s candid pov on the summer, current status, and making the most of everything we’ve got.
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Transcript
Mood and Health Challenges
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome back. Thank you. What's happening, ladies? Lades. So far, so good. Hey, Mr. Chipper. Mr. Chipper. Yeah, I i don't know why.
00:00:19
Speaker
I'm not sleeping well as usual, but I feel pretty good today. You do. You look good. Well, thanks. How are you feeling? Handsome as hell. I feel, ah oh boy, you guys are sick.
00:00:29
Speaker
I feel, I feel fine. You know, I feel okay. little bit of energy. um You know, nothing's really changed or gone on um to affect the mental or physical state.
00:00:44
Speaker
How does that make you feel? Oh, my God. What is this, like, freaky Friday? I was just about to say. and How does that make you feel? I'm just, like i like, we were just sort of speaking, the two of us, about how the, like, that
00:01:02
Speaker
steady, like, what's up? Like stable scans, like no news is like is almost like an ah its own beast of itself. It's sort of like a mind rumble.
00:01:14
Speaker
Yeah, it's fun. Because you told us to stop swearing. Yeah, well. What did you say? You'd be more upscale. No, I didn't say that. I said. You did. Oh, okay. I just said you could be a little more polite.
00:01:26
Speaker
But anyway, coming from me, it's hilarious. But anyway, ah your question was what? You were saying nothing's really changed, and i said, how does that make you feel?
00:01:37
Speaker
Yeah, it's interesting because it makes you feel happy for the majority, but it's also frustrating because you're then waiting for something to happen. Yeah, and you don't like the waiting, do you?
00:01:47
Speaker
No, why would I? i mean, it's like waiting for a death sentence. It's not not really what I'm looking for. So yeah knowing the terminal state of this illness, disease, cancer, is it's frustrating to sit on your hands.
00:02:04
Speaker
ah or your phone.
Exploring Treatment Options
00:02:06
Speaker
But um
00:02:09
Speaker
I think, you know, your mother and I have reached out to the National Brain Tumor Society and they've been the most helpful people you can even imagine. They take a personal interest and they have led us to a second opinion and someone who is well-versed in non-progressed cancer vaccines and treatments, trials and things like that. So we're exploring that.
00:02:35
Speaker
Yeah. And that's great because that's sort of you. little bit more than just sitting around. But I mean, I trust and love my oncologist. She is the best at MGH.
00:02:46
Speaker
And and um she's just the best, period. Yeah. But there's no harm in like... No. And she now she feels the same way. So it's we're we're looking at a few things through the Dana folks and ah we'll see where we get.
00:03:01
Speaker
Yeah. I think that's sort of what we were
Balancing Treatment and Hope
00:03:03
Speaker
talking about too. is like It feels like there's progress made in terms of conversations and it feels like stuff is happening in terms of like... just progress or at least some advancements that are promising or hopeful just in the brain cancer, brain tumor space in general,
00:03:22
Speaker
But it is like it's still difficult because none of this stuff is like, oh, great. Yeah. i Like this will be something that is going to be a cure. It's just it's trying to decide how hopeful we are versus optimistic. or Like it's that balance, I think, is tough because it's sort of it still is a really weird state. And I think like people will find articles and send us articles and I love that, actually. I want to encourage people to keep doing that. But it is like, you still don't know, are you going to qualify? Is this going to be accessible? Are you going to be the first round? And then they perfect it when it's too late for you, which would still be a great breakthrough for science and for other people in the space. Yeah, selfishly. It's like, how excited are we getting for you and the duration of your life versus...
00:04:07
Speaker
yeah And I think just even having to think that is hard. I'm not even asking that question. Like just having to have that be in our brains it's a very difficult state to be in. Yeah, I think it's important to think good he's doing well, good there may be some trials. But I mean, as I always say, the end of the movie we've seen. And, you know, this is a fatal disease. The chances of something saving my life is probably zero, but it's extending my life perhaps, helping people behind me.
00:04:37
Speaker
yeah i think how do we you know best benefit us our family and as a byproduct of that you know if it's helpful to other people that's fantastic yeah i also think it's something to consider like i mean i don't know why i'm laughing this isn't funny at all but like we're talking about brain cancer yes extending your life but also like the quality of life is important too so it's like yeah we could toss you into million trials but if you're miserable and sore and uncomfortable and like nauseous like is that worth it like it's the balance of that so there's a lot of factors i think that it's important to take all this you know in stride and say yeah we're gonna hopefully find something that's helpful to people like me will be helpful to me but the reality of it is
00:05:26
Speaker
you know There's been a lot of research going on for a lot of years, and they're making progress, but there's not going to be a magic pill that's going to make me, oh, it's gone, I'm alive forever, or for a while. I think you have to really deal with it as a, you know we're on some borrowed time now. and yeah that's you know I'm not so cavalier about it, as I sound right now.
00:05:46
Speaker
m As I've said to you and your mother, it's so hard to think about us all not being together. You know, with all due respect to my friends and and other family, I, you know, it's it's been an incredible run.
00:06:00
Speaker
And I'm not willing to fold the tent yet, but I'm also a realistic person. Yeah, that's, and I think that's exactly how, or what we were talking about, just approaching the balance of, okay, we're not going to give up, but we don't want to live in total delusions.
00:06:18
Speaker
No, you can't live in delusion, denial, or whatever, but you know i think we look at the situation say, I'm feeling pretty good. yeah i I've got a lot more energy, which there's no room to go the other way, but I um you know ah feel pretty good.
00:06:35
Speaker
I'm thrilled to be with you guys. I'm conversant. I'm able to walk around, do things, you know yeah work out to some extent, and you know I think that that, to me, is important to be lucid and clear.
00:06:52
Speaker
Yeah. And we're so grateful for that, too. Because I think the other part of this is like it's not unrealistic to think that like that could change at the drop of a hat. Sure. And we really hope that it won't, and you're not.
00:07:04
Speaker
looking that way now, like that would be the case, but we're still like in your doctor's appointments and in conversations, everyone's like, wow, I can't believe how good you look and how good you feel or how good you sound, how good you're presenting, like based on the situation that you're in.
00:07:20
Speaker
And I think that's amazing too, but it's ah it's like, all right, how much hope do we hold on to that versus being perpetually anxious that it could just change. Yeah, I mean, you want to be optimistic, but you want to be realistic. That's kind it, period.
00:07:34
Speaker
It's balance. And then, like, at what point do we just... Everything's goddamn balance. Everything's a balance. And then at what point do we just, like, stop trying to psychoanalyze everything and just, like, be? But I just, I'm not sure that any of the three of us are built that way.
00:07:47
Speaker
Yeah, it's hard
Family Time and Relationships
00:07:48
Speaker
not to spend a decent amount of time thinking about it, but it's also really rewarding to spend a lot of time thinking about it. So you find the balance, you know, as best as possible. But it's, you know, it's great to see you guys, talk to you and your sisters, you know, you you and your sister who's not here right now but is moving east. Yeah, we'll be here.
00:08:08
Speaker
You know, it's, that's special. I cherish my time with your mom. I cherish time with my friends and obviously with you guys. So I'm not cherishing it like this could be the last visit.
00:08:19
Speaker
It's more like, also because don't talk that way, but it could be more, ah you know, just enjoy the time.
00:08:29
Speaker
We've had a, I've said it so many times, we've had a great run. We have such nice relationship. And that's special. It's not taken for granted.
00:08:40
Speaker
Yeah. What did you mean when you said, it's so nice that you guys are here, but you don't need to come Yeah. Did say that? This morning, you when you and Mom sat us down and you were like, so don't come back. No, no, no. I think it's... is that not what you wanted take away from that? That's not what wanted us to take away.
00:08:56
Speaker
I think it's important that you guys have, and you do have, thriving lives and jobs and friends and a husband for you, Emma, and a you know friend that you really like, Haley.
00:09:08
Speaker
What is that not the way to put it? Anyway, um you know I think it's important to have a life. I'm going to follow the path that follows. yeah yeah Yeah. That's right. and I think we just want to maximize. It's a balance again. Yeah, it's a balance. We just are always like, oh, we want to maximize time with you.
00:09:23
Speaker
but had really good time and we'll continue to right but don't minimize time with others with our special friends with your special friends um okay well just looking back because we haven't had a we have we talk all the time and we have i feel like this conversation conversation all the time but in terms of like formal with mics um we haven't spoken and a while what like what were sort of your peaks and valleys or not even that actually what was your like favorite bits of the summer like if you could focus on a couple of memories that you think are fun from the summer that you were happy to have had.
00:10:04
Speaker
so Highs and lows of the summer. Thank you. Like normal people. Or just highs whatever. I think it was fun to see our baseball team do as well as it did this summer.
00:10:15
Speaker
It was fun to be in the community of, you know, the Joe, which is our baseball stadium. ah It's great to be with you guys there. Great to be with, Rick and Matt who run the team.
00:10:28
Speaker
um It's just a you know it's a special place. And all our fans, it's like people are so kind. And it's the one thing that I've been learning along the way, and this seems idiotic, is just people are very...
00:10:41
Speaker
considerate sensitive and interested in how you're feeling how you're doing and you know i'm not advertising that i bring cancer but we've been you know i mean it's not a big secret either but just people are just very thoughtful how they approach that you know strangers and closer friends it's it's um it's been impressive that's all i will say a bit of that is also which you wouldn't acknowledge but like give yourself credit for that i think yes i'm some people are great sure EPA but like I think that a lot of people care about you because you are who you are like you have impacted a lot of people even like people that you have small interactions with because you always give people the time of day your full attention your full respect regardless of like who they are where they are or anything like that um so I think a lot of people care about you
00:11:36
Speaker
because of that, not just because you're struggling with this and because they're person. I think it's a combination. Well, that's awfully nice. I have not thought about it in that perspective. I didn't
Community Support and Gratitude
00:11:45
Speaker
think you did. Oh, yeah. So I think from our perspective, that's very evident.
00:11:49
Speaker
Yeah, we're like, of course, everyone. but Like, that's so easy for us to see because we've seen that for a new years and years. Like, you're so, you're not shocked, but you're, like, so touched by even, like, your friends all, like, reaching out and being there. But, like, from our perspective, of course they are.
00:12:04
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, and probably from my perspective too, but it's just, it's hard to focus on me if you're me. Of course. If you're me, that's not my brain. That's not who I am. But... You know, that's where we are.
00:12:16
Speaker
I mean, even this podcast, it's like, I don't volunteer for this, but it's helpful to you guys to mom and to ro friends and some other, you know, people that are seeing this and and learning something or feeling something or knowing they're not alone.
00:12:32
Speaker
That's fantastic. It's not what I would have chosen. I don't like to advertise myself. You don't?
00:12:40
Speaker
um So how often were you and mom in Troy at the baseball game. We were there a bunch. I don't, you know. I feel like I was there at least three to four times. ah Yeah, same. So we've been there for a while.
00:12:51
Speaker
Yeah, so we probably, you know, it wasn't more than 10 games, but, you know, it was nice. We went up to Quebec for the playoffs to see, you know, at least one more game, and, um you know, we had a nice time.
00:13:03
Speaker
Yeah. Unfortunately, we lost, but. Yeah, but you guys, I feel like you and Mom had such a great weekend. Just like impromptu getaway. And the driving reason was for the team, but it ended up just being a great time for the two of you.
00:13:16
Speaker
At least that's what it looked like in the pics that you said. It was. It certainly was. Our relationship with Air Canada has changed because... hate them, but um they just, you know don't schedule connections with two minutes to spare.
00:13:30
Speaker
It's just not smart, but we won't waste our time on that. But they've done that twice, so I'm pretty sure that they've overtaken Southwest in the most hated airline category.
00:13:40
Speaker
What about Virgin Airlines? Oh, no, we can't. they're They've shut down, probably because of Dad on Twitter. You know, we don't have to go there. um Yeah, let's go. Another day. That was funny, though. um So, yeah, I mean, we've we've had a great summer. And back to your original question, it's been nice. We have, you know go to a lot of doctor's appointments, but being not far down the street from the main hospital that we go to, it's not that difficult. I mean, the difficulty is, you know, you're fighting this disease. But I have to say the people at MGH have been so incredibly thoughtful and helpful across the board. The oncology team, radiology team, the um MRI folks, the psychiatrists, psychologists.
00:14:24
Speaker
I mean, the MSWs, you know, i mean, everyone's been very, very thoughtful and, you know, they we're not the only people that they see. So it's impressive. It's impressive. No, a hundred percent. and I think to make you feel like you are so taken care of and paid attention to and supported your point. Yeah. It's like, they're not, they're working against this disease on behalf of many, many, many people. So I think to have them really have an interest in you. And I imagine that they do the same for their other patients.
00:14:52
Speaker
It's absolutely incredible. feel I feel that way. Yeah. And I think just being grateful for things like that, i mean, that's an easy one to be grateful for. But even just noticing, like, the people at the ballpark that you were talking about or feeling so grateful for the friends that come over and do this and even do little things. I think little things go such a long way, but it's also, like, you – not that you were taking things for granted or that any of us were, but I think you really, like – like, I've really but just been noticing those very, very small ways that people show up.
00:15:24
Speaker
even if that's them like not putting pressure or having like expectations of us knowing the situation that we're going through. It could be very minimal, but it's very impactful. Yeah, I mean, a text, a call, things like that, it means a lot. People stop by and it's you know it's nice to make the human connection. And you know I know these people are my friends. I know who my family is, but it's it's sort of some kind of reinforcement that is touching.
00:15:50
Speaker
Yeah. Because you know it's not forever. And I also think it's like, just going back to what Haley was saying just earlier about how much of a testament it is to you, like, it's not all just because they want to help us. I think it's also like, they want to be with you. Like they want to spend time with you.
00:16:05
Speaker
They want to check in, like you're important to them. And that's for us to see, like, you've always been so important to us. We've always thought you're the greatest person on earth, but to see that, expand like other people see you the same way like it's incredibly gratifying for us it's confusing to me but I'm great i'm grateful for it too yeah so you got you got a good rep overall run with what I got um what else is happening how was your summer Well, I spent a lot of summer with you. i thought that would sort of be your highlight.
00:16:37
Speaker
That was sib was one of the highlights for sure. it's um Yeah, people have probably been waiting for this to see, not me, but to hear from you guys again because you started something and people really enjoyed it um that I have heard from.
00:16:50
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's helpful. Yeah, I think it's helpful for people to know what's up with you. And again, like we one of the things that happened when we started this was just so many people in our community that I didn't even know Like, if it was more tangential friendships or, like, work friendships or just not people directly in our day-to-day that are also going through similar stuff. Like, you just wouldn't know. um And it's been helpful to even, like, give us
Emotional Processing
00:17:15
Speaker
other outlets of people that we know we can talk to. Or I've had people, like, offer up, oh, I can connect your mom with our mom. She went through something similar with our dad. And it's, like, just nice to see people helping people. And if we can be part of that or jumpstart for that, then great.
00:17:31
Speaker
Yeah, no, I totally agree. I think that that's rewarding as heck. As heck. You've really been, like, emphasizing heck today. Well, because can't. I'm trying not to swear. How's that going? It sucks.
00:17:42
Speaker
H-E double hockey sticks. yeah Yeah, because I'm not 90. Heck is sort of not doing you any favors. I got it. Yeah, no, no major updates. I think that's the purpose of this is really just to get us back in the swing of stuff and look into sort of this next chapter of I don't know, continuing to talk about you and the situation and expand what we're, yeah.
00:18:06
Speaker
Exploring like new options. Yeah. Like and that's what should move forward with. Well, but it's, it is, we have discovered as, you know, there is standard of care treatment for this disease. And then you find yourself waiting quite a while for progression of the disease or something else. And well, mostly that. Yeah.
00:18:25
Speaker
yeah I don't like to wait, especially if it's your life. Yeah, it justifier it's so far. It's been hard. So we've been trying to find ways to move forward and and, you know, find out what's out there. And we've been getting a lot of help. And, again, the National Brain Tumor Society is an incredibly helpful, pleasant, thoughtful organization that really does care.
00:18:47
Speaker
and And they're in touch with your mom. They're touch with me. yeah. They email us. Like, it's really sweet. um No, it's good. I think we, I feel like we're in a, for, you've always said this, dealt a bad hand in an okay spot.
00:19:02
Speaker
Yeah. Or something like that. For bad situations. For crappy news, yeah. yeah yeah um Yeah. We're, um you know, you do the best you can and you, you know, you don't, like I don't hide how I'm feeling generally. Which I think is good.
00:19:19
Speaker
You're very emotionally in touch. Yes, thank you. Or intact? No, maybe in touch. I think in touch. I was waking up every morning for a while and just finding myself overwhelmed and sad.
00:19:31
Speaker
I think that's super fair. And that makes perfect sense. yeah yeah does It doesn't make it better. Do you feel like you're not having that happen anymore? Less so not less at the moment. okay yeah That's something to be accomplished with a little. because i think sure Wait, what?
00:19:46
Speaker
i'm on palmer You know what I mean? yeah Something to feel accomplished with. No, I feel like I've accomplished something and feel good about There we go. That's literally what I It's not.
00:19:58
Speaker
I just said in English. That's the difference. but I think like that was a phase, and I think for us observing that, we're like, okay, hes you have reason to be emotional. It goes back to the, is it dad or is it brain cancer?
00:20:11
Speaker
Right.
00:20:13
Speaker
But you also have tumors that could be affecting how you're processing or feeling emotions. So it's like, what is this? So to see you sort of have that be a wave instead of a trajectory is hopeful for us.
00:20:26
Speaker
Not that we were sitting here while you were having those spells of being upset and being like, oh, shoot, this is it. But it is. Everything, I think, has another layer of why is this happening? Is this never going to stop happening?
00:20:37
Speaker
What is... And that, I think, that spiral is difficult. But I do think, like, you even able being able to articulate how you're feeling and and being able to articulate how you're not in that phase anymore is... I don't know.
00:20:51
Speaker
i so I really don't even still know what to, like, make or think of any of it. And I think... Nor do Yeah. I don't think any of us. All three of us being people that like to be in control and All of us like to be the people who are having the pen writing the story and to feel so out of control for every single element of that is difficult.
00:21:07
Speaker
But I do think. You definitely have to make an adjustment. Yeah. For sure. Well, you do or you don't either way. But I mean, we've we've all made adjustments, our whole family. And I think, you know, it doesn't make it not sad. It doesn't make it go away. But I think, you know, you accept some things and kind of push on as best
Simple Pleasures and Family Moments
00:21:28
Speaker
you can.
00:21:28
Speaker
What else can you do? I don't know. If I knew, I would go through that. If you know if you find out, let me know, please. We will be anxiously awake. um Is there anything that you're looking forward to? In the fall or anything? I don't know. like Compound interest, Haley.
00:21:51
Speaker
Is that a callback? Throwback? Callback. Anyway. um Yeah, all the family events that we have together is sort of it. um I look forward to watching the Jets lose every weekend. Same.
00:22:08
Speaker
I'd like to see where the Mets go. They're sort of hanging out. I thought they didn't make playoffs. I think they did. Really? stunned. I'll have to double check. I thought they made a wild card.
00:22:19
Speaker
We've been in the Ryder Cup world all weekend. So you're excited for sports and holiday. Well, I would say excited for family. Yes, sort of same as usual. Family time together. ah You know, ah just mostly excited to be here.
00:22:34
Speaker
I'm excited. We're talking about the fall. I think that just... you know, excited to be feeling okay and to spend time with you guys. And, you know, Lucy coming east is great. And, you know, all of us spending time in New York or up here is awesome.
00:22:48
Speaker
Yeah. also i mean but But even when we said, what's the greatest thing or what do you look forward to or what do you, you know, in earlier podcasts, it's like like hanging out with you guys. It's not like it has to be adventure-based. Yesterday we went on a boat ride around the Boston Harbor.
00:23:03
Speaker
It was really fun, but I'm not, you know, it's not like on the checklist. I mean, I'd have just as fun if we sat on the couch. That was really fun, though, yesterday. yeah But we we always say that to you, too. It's like you, are feel like, are so often apologizing for being low energy. You're saying, sorry, I'm boring. and it's like, you're not one, you're not boring. Two, you're like the least warm person ever. And we sort of like crave that. Like, we want to come back and just sit.
00:23:28
Speaker
Well, that's perfect. That quality time. It's like a reset. That suits me just well because I'm boring and tired. but No, but like, that's you're not boring. All right, don't don't worry.
00:23:39
Speaker
um But no, you get it. like yeah I feel like that's a sign of like, it even reminds me of like Emma and Will's vows of their wedding. But like, I think it's like if you enjoy just existing with someone and like doing nothing or just like sitting and just being in the existence of someone and not like actively having to do something, that means that you truly love them. So I think absolutely that's how we all feel like we're all so comfortable with each other. We can have fun doing adventures, of course, but we also can have fun playing one round of cards and moaning and groaning the entire time about how it stinks and then like falling asleep during a movie. And like, that's great.
00:24:15
Speaker
Yeah. Like that's a lovely night for Yeah, and that's you know kind of what we do often. And we love it. no one It's great. It's the idea of being together and and the reality of being together is what's important. It's special, completely.
00:24:32
Speaker
you know I was saying at your Father of the Bride speech at your wedding, I've had more fun driving in a car with you guys. And it's sort of like those conversations side by side versus, you know, Spanish Inquisition style where you're staring at someone in the face.
00:24:47
Speaker
It's great. I've learned a lot. I've, you know, shared a lot. You've shared a lot, all of you. And it's it's it's special. I'm simple that way. some might say but go some might Some might say boring, but no I'm fine with it. You're not yeah i kind not last boring. I'm not. But I think that's the exact reason why you don't have a bucket list. You don't feel like you need that. It's sort of like we've done you've done stuff that you want to do. There's still stuff that you still want to do, but it's like whatever we're doing, as long as we're together, we could be on a beach or like in a cardboard box and we're enjoying each other's time. Maybe not in a box, but like you know what I'm saying.
00:25:26
Speaker
Yes. No, we we could be on a deserted island. But we're still on beach. Yeah, no, we're still on the beach, though. No, like on the couch. I feel like I'm like Dr. Seussine. I'm like on the couch, on a plane, have a snack.
00:25:42
Speaker
Anyway. Yeah, the the you know the joy of just being together is something we've hopefully cultivated, but I think, what a reward, what a treat. Yeah. It's really. Breathing great. each tell that That part is special.
00:25:56
Speaker
For sure. means a lot. it's It's nice. It's nice to be in beautiful locations like beaches and nice hotels and things like that. But beacon we can do we can do that. There's not a lot beach here.
00:26:08
Speaker
We can do that. um And we do. And that's fine. And we've done it. And there's more to do. yeah But it's not like there's a bucket list of, oh, I have to go climb the Eiffel Tower. I don't.
00:26:21
Speaker
yeah I don't think you want to. I don't. But I'm just giving an example. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, but then how nice that is to not feel like there's stuff left unturned or undone and we can still just sit and enjoy each other's company. And it's not like we feel limited by your physical restraints, which there aren't even that many, but we don't feel limited by them.
00:26:41
Speaker
Just your mental. Yeah, well. I'm kidding. That's been my life um or lifelong. But anyway, um yeah, no, I mean, the it is simple. It's really neat that it's that simple to just all of us be together and enjoy each other. Yeah.
00:26:57
Speaker
wonder Simple as that. Agreed.
Reflections on Family Support
00:26:59
Speaker
Love you. Love you. Thank you. way to do so you Great way to kick it off. Yeah, thanks for... Oh, hey.
00:27:11
Speaker
Group H. All right, we'll talk some more. Cool. Sick. As long as I'm alive. Stop. Oh, okay.