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MoTWEU Timejail: A Duck In The Middle Of NOWhERE
63 Plays5 months ago
Life's been crazy with technical issues abound, so we are presenting you with an episode of Timejail to keep you entertained while we sort life out!
Today, you'll meet a pilot sleuth, an awkward initiate, a summoned trickster, and a carbon copy of Mr. Bean! Enjoy the calamity that ensues when Cass and Justin play off our new guests: Will and Dusk!
Click this if you love us! Rate the show wherever you listen, Pl0x!
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Transcript
Introduction and Internet Woes
00:00:37
Speaker
And one, we are live, everybody. Good morning, good afternoon and good evening, ladies, gentlemen, non-binary folks of universes known and unknown. This is role players and welcome back to a special episode of what the fuck are we doing? Time jail. That's what it's called. I almost said that's our cue, but that's not what we're doing. That's a different show um where we are going to be in time jail. You know what? You love it. Everybody asked for more of it. And here we go. We have two people fresh to the scene of time jail. And we also have Justin and Cass here ah before we go into the character introductions or even what we're doing just to get in front of it. Cause you might have noticed we haven't posted anything yet. Justin has been having these awful internet issues ever since he moved out into the boonies of Western Pennsylvania. Um, so like, don't tell specifically where I live.
00:01:18
Speaker
and fix it. He lives in western Pennsylvania where there's farmlands and banjos playing. um So it's dangerous lands, don't go out there. and ah so ah So he made a character specifically for this that has narcolepsy. So if he just cuts out mid-sentence, or if we get to talk to him, and he's not here, His character is asleep. So that's just how we're going to justify it so we can continue on with what we're doing. um So essentially, this is a stress test to see how long Justin can stay in a recording before he dies. um And that is also why there's no Phony Express episode this week, because we were halfway through recording it and he dropped out like 15 times and it was editing hell. So I just scrapped it.
00:01:58
Speaker
So we're going to try to fix it and get back to
Time Jail and Character Introductions
00:02:00
Speaker
you. But in the meantime, enjoy an episode of Time Jail now for the setting. We are in a place called Time Jail, everyone, ah where it is a white void as far as you can see. And the only other structure that you can see aside from just a void straight down and straight up is every so often off in the distance, you will see Large stone maze like structures just walls that go off into all sorts of different directions that don't seem to end and they go as high as you can possibly see. You don't know how they got there what exactly they're made of they look like there's some kind of stone and they just go on all sorts of different directions.
00:02:35
Speaker
um And the only other thing that has been constant for those of you have been imprisoned here in time jail is every so often there is about a two and a half to three foot tall snail creature that kind of walks upright and has two little pale arms and a blue outfit and a blue hat. um And his name is Marion, and there are thousands of them all throughout this place. um And they come and bring you your food. um They're typically pretty friendly to you, but they're also very dumb. um and Outside of that, you don't know how long you've been here. you don't know I don't know if you can if you want to establish when we get to you how often you have spoken to anybody in this cell, but the cell that you're in is also invisible. ah You could guess it's probably between like 10 by 10. You've walked far enough that you've hit the wall to recognize roughly how much room you have in it.
00:03:26
Speaker
um Outside of that, your goal, your objective, escape time jail. And for those of you listening at home, that's all that I know, too, aside from what little blurbs they wrote about their characters or things that they might say that might inspire me for what the fuck they might see here in time jail. um' So having said that, ah let's go to our characters. So let's start with um our first cast. Let's go with, ah you know, people you already know. Let's go with Cass. Cass, who's your character that's currently in time jail and what are they doing in their cell? So my character, her name is Felicity Flier.
00:04:06
Speaker
And she is a, well, she is an inspiring um Air Force pilot. ah She it looks like she's kind of for like from the 1940s, 1950s, you know, you're not really sure because she's always wearing this like um air pilot's uniform, um jumpsuit, everything. And then She's also afraid of flying. So there's that ah she she's trying to get the courage up, you know, to to be able to fly one day. But, you know, she's she's not quite there yet.
00:04:43
Speaker
But she really, really wants to fly. I tell you what. And one day she met up with a group of people with a weird ship and saw some weird stuff. And now she is like. freaked out. And so then she decided that she was going to kidnap the cat people from the balloon planet. And then, yeah. So I forgot about the balloon. i sure That's all made up. It's all made up. Yeah. OK. And what character or what playbook is the is Felicity? She is playing the searcher. The searcher. OK.
00:05:29
Speaker
ah justin before your internet dies you went tell your character get Um, I am playing a fellow named Mr. Bean Pole. Um, if you ever seen Mr. Bean, the show that is and or movie rat race, that is roughly what I'm going to be doing. He's wearing the same brown suit as Mr. Bean wears. Probably looks pretty much like him. It's a weird little man. Um, he also has from rat race, the narcolepsy that Roanak and his character had, uh, where he just falls asleep standing up, which is not how narcolepsy works in reality, I assume, but that's how it's going to work here.
00:06:02
Speaker
How it's going to work for us. um And he's he's a mundane. So he's going to get in all kind of oopsie daisies just like Mr. Bean. Gotcha. What is Mr. Beanpole doing right now? um He's he's watching very eagerly for the for the snalor to come by. I'm waiting for them. OK. All right. Dusk, our new friend, Dusk is here. Dusk, do you want to tell us who your character is, what playbook they are and what they're doing? Yeah. So, uh, my character is named, uh, bestian, uh, shorts. Cause why not? I totally to think of the last name. I definitely didn't make that up on the spot. Absolutely not had it in there the entire time. Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you say shorts? Yep. Like Vestia's last name is shorts. Yep.
00:06:55
Speaker
I thought you were were like Vestian Shorts. Yeah, why not? They were shorts. I was like, okay no seriously Shorts is their last name. Okay, that's the insurance. Yeah, I see it. I see it's definitely written under character sheet. I see it now. Sorry. I miss ya. Yeah Yeah, I'm definitely not typing it in as we speak. Yes and ah ah They are her a they are ah from the playbook the initiate ah and they ah are a member of the auspicious sect.
00:07:31
Speaker
ah The auspicious sect. The auspicious sect. It's an organization that is ah both powerful in knowledge and recruiting the most fight and violence driven people all in the pursuit of said knowledge. ah They focus on researching the darker paranormal, focusing on the fears and the darker aspects of humanity and afterlife and other said paranormal things. So, so are they called? So how did you come up because of what I know the word auspicious to mean? How did you come up with the auspicious sect? It was the first word that came to mind. So, so, so essentially on the auspicious, the auspicious sect is a self fulfilling name because they want to be successful. Therefore they named themselves. This is se the successful sect.
00:08:21
Speaker
But because the successful sect is so hard to say, they changed it to you the auspicious sect. Essentially, you got it. Suspicious meaning a sign of success, a prosperous sect. They are ah they are i like very bold.
Magical Mishaps and Group Dynamics
00:08:40
Speaker
They're like, you know what? If we call ourselves that, we have to be, you know? get to be get it just manifesting that shit. I love that. That's fucking awesome. We are the successful group. That's what we're called. that's what we're not called You know, just it's fantastic. All right. So what is your character doing right now?
00:08:59
Speaker
ah They are currently ah but putting some interesting ah ah sludge together from their food into some interesting symbols ah on the floor of their cell, question mark. And they seem to be ah muttering to themselves profusely, just, ah can anyone understand what they're saying? Who knows? No one's kind of gotten close enough to them to know. They're just speaking Simlish. Yeah. Yeah. to Honestly, they're just. i maybe Yeah. Yeah. OK. That sounds awesome. All right. So go ahead and roll magic for me or that'd be plus weird or just click the use magic button. Gotcha. Let's see this magic button. Yes, they use magic button, which will add your weird role.
00:09:49
Speaker
it should yep there's a little dice symbol you clicker and then see what happens it says dash minus forward I just hit rolled ignore all that got it yikers this is on par So so you rolled a six, which is a fail. So you can mark experience on your character sheet. um And so, ah well, do you want to tell us what manifests and how you manifest? Oh, my God. Yeah, so it's it's a tall sonter. Looks kind of male figure, otherworldly being that kind of summons in front.
00:10:30
Speaker
ah of Dust's character Vestian here. ah He appears to be wearing ah clothing that looks antiquated in nature, his long red flowing braided hair, paleish skin, tall, lanky features, and a face that kind of presents as ah handsome, but also like like he's up to something. At the moment, the facial features tend to display a little bit of confusion and concern as he was in the middle of saying something like, I swear, I i didn't touch her hair at... Where the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you? Hi there!
00:11:16
Speaker
Hello. Hi. It worked! Oh, can't believe it worked. Wow, this is so cool. Hi, I'm Guskin. Hello. She's just like looking up at you, like big blue eyes, just like, ah like, just the like, it worked. Oh my God. It takes like a half step back. This is amazing. We can get out of here now. What worked? Who are you? Where is he? You wouldn't know where you are, by the way. You have no idea what this place is called that you're in. You just know you you're a prisoner. Okay, great. I summoned you as where we are. That's a great question. I was hoping you would know. ah He looks left. He looks right. You sit down, sit left to you, and jokers to your right. I do a little win even like my fingertips.
00:12:14
Speaker
And a little Mr. Bean smile with his little nose crinkled up. ah hello hello Hello. Hi. He goes up and he like grabs ah Vestian by the the scruff of the neck. What the fuck is the big idea? Are you playing a joke on me? Is this some some bullshit? Did the voices tell you to do this? What voices? Never mind. Not important. No voices. You didn't hear any. ah no no No, I didn't. Only yours. And mine, therefore, to technically count his voices. You're right. So what do you what do you do when you when you see this person bamf into your cell and then like.
00:12:59
Speaker
and She's like freaking the holy shit out because she's already had some weird fucking encounters. And so the fact that um she has always she always has her head on a swivel. OK. She's always watching out for hazards, no matter what it is. And so the things that she's seen with ah the crazy shit, she's just like, her eyes are probably like the size of saucers right now. And she's like writing down in a tiny notebook, like without, mo like, ah looking away from
00:13:39
Speaker
this thing that has just like come out of the ground as she's moving slowly back into the corner so that her back is in the corner, just like freaking out. Just not saying anything. Just like, just hide in the darkness. They don't see you. You're fine. Write this down. What did he say again? ah ah Yeah, you guys see a woman having a panic attack in the corner of the cell. what do you what do What do you do, Vestian? Actually, I don't know if you introduced yourself, so I'm not going to call you by your character name. I don't think you said your name yet. I did not. ah the the The tall humanoid figure like stands and like looks over towards Felicity in the corner, ah though though mostly human in appearance ah besides pale skin, some overdone eyeshadow, as well as some slightly glowing eyes that are looking over towards her.
00:14:35
Speaker
He just stares and is like, quiet, please. We're trying to have a conversation over here. You're being rude. I didn't say anything. Yeah, but your panic is kind of loud. It's a loud panic. Can you turn it down a little bit? Can you blame me? You just came out of nowhere. I'm just as surprised as you are. I didn't expect to be, so what is, oh, it's on my shoe. Ooh, is it goo? Is it oatmeal? It's great, right? I used it to summon you. It's great. I don't know what it is. First of all, that's some craftiness and I'm kind of impressed actually.
00:15:25
Speaker
which Very sneaky, sis. Well, I mean, I didn't have any chalk or anything on me, except for, I mean, I got, I don't know, I couldn't scratch the floor, so I had to do something. I don't know if I should be absolutely pissed or completely impressed. Thank you. So what did you expect me, like, how do you get out of here? and So you wait, you want, you want me here to help you get out of here, but, huh?
00:15:57
Speaker
I don't know where here is. I don't have a key. I think I think it just takes me in a second to like, like, just like you just like put like just like as like, be still im assuming they are still being held by the scruff of their neck, you know, ah ah somehow in that position contorts their body to be in the thinker position. and They're just like dangling there and they just like lift their legs up and crisp. Yeah, they're just like, hmm. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's like a very anime characters thing to do. Just like, hmm. 100%. Quite a particular diamond. I love the reference to old art, but that can't be comfortable. yeah I'll just set you down there. There you go now. Oh, thank you. Thank you. You're welcome.
00:16:45
Speaker
ah I don't know where we are. I was hoping you would know. I kind of summoned you for help to help get out of here because I, ah you know, I've got a meeting with a really cool a group of people I got to get to. I think I don't know. I don't know how long I've been here. I've been here, but I don't know if I've been how long I've been here.
00:17:13
Speaker
Yeah. Well, here's the thing about why I suppose a summoning circle is more to bring things, right? And not as much about sending people. So it's not like an un-summoning circle that would take you out of here, right? So it's like, this is kind of a one-way ticket into here for me. and same where we are You see Felicity all of a sudden just like starting to search like every part of the corner of the walls like looking for any sort of like opening but he think bill and she pulls out a small mirror out of her pocket. She starts looking like down the hallways to see if there's anybody walking down the hallways.
00:17:57
Speaker
ah Yeah, as you're looking around, finally, we're able to like come down from like this anxious feeling, you see that there's been like, one of the one of the um Marion's has been standing there with like a big tray of food for like probably the past couple of minutes. And like their little eyes are like sticking up off of their head and they're open really, really wide, just like staring at um staring at this new figure that wasn't in there when they left. And he just here like, wow, he's so cute. I mean, how did you get in here? And then, you know,
00:18:35
Speaker
or but house i i I thought about the riddle you asked me before. A duck.
00:18:48
Speaker
ah
00:18:52
Speaker
So I asked you. I asked you what was in the middle of nowhere and your answer is a duck.
00:19:04
Speaker
Yes. That's a good answer. Yes. That's a good answer. I mean, I would, I would choose a duck. She drops her small mirror as like she, she hears the voice in the mirror turns and all of a sudden she just sees a face full of Marion and her mirror. She drops it. I'm just, I'm just here with you for young ladies settle down. I, it really hurts our feelings when you scream every time you see us. I'm so sorry. ah
00:19:37
Speaker
just ah ah ah what ah What did you bring for us to eat? Can I have my mirror back? Uh, yeah, I mean, I suppose ah this feller fell asleep and then you see, you see, you see the, you see Mr. Beanpole just like midway. He has like his finger up in the air, but like a duck and that like, as you guys were kind of like fathoming and agreeing with his answer, his eyes are shut and just like loud snores come out of his body. Um, and he's just standing there completely comatose with his eyes shut with his finger pointed up into the air.
00:20:10
Speaker
um and uh he's just like yeah i mean you can have your mirror out i i guess that's fine um hey actually i was wondering if i could ask you guys for a favor what well what do you need um let's just say some other prisoners escaped and they got into some toys they weren't supposed to use so i was wondering I mean, at the risk at the risk of letting you guys also escape. Could you go take care of the bad prisoners? Because you guys seem like good prisoners. I'm actually not a prisoner at all. I shouldn't even be here. Oh, well, how did you get here? ah Drawings on the floor. But um that's what those are. Oh, interesting. It's all over my shoes now. It's absolutely it's disgusting.
00:21:00
Speaker
Oh, you made a little summoning circle out of mud pies. Very cool. That's nice. Thank you. Thank you. That one. You're so, that's so, wow. I mean, I'm supposed to be upset that you're able to bring anybody in here without the time warden's permission, but it's so cool. Right? Right. Thank you. Thank you. That's so cool. I didn't think it would work, but here we are. We did it. We made it. Here I am. They did it. Yeah, now I have more prisoners. oh Wait, what? Huh? Hold up. Right? um Not at all. No, that is not cool. I you yeah i did nothing wrong. Well, I did a lot of things wrong, but not not this. I didn't ask for this. You wouldn't be in time, Jio, if you didn't do anything wrong.
00:21:53
Speaker
well You see Felicity's finger go up just like once. She's like, but he looks scary enough. Maybe he needs to stay in here. I'm just saying. um Yeah. I think the only reasonable punishment for your interloper is you have to give every single one of us a massage. Um, all, all of you, like the, like you guys were them. I went, I went to, I went the guy with the nice eyes to give us all a massage. Oh, oh if you keep talking to me like that, you never know what might happen.
00:22:33
Speaker
she Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat. Neat i know your mother i might Actually, don't answer that question. We don't. i I'm kind of my own mom, I think, so maybe. Okay. If that's the situation, then I'm not in danger of having other unknown children out in the universe. That's okay. Nope. Excellent. Excellent. So I say no more child support. I mean, if you had to pay for us, you'd be pretty broke, my guy. Yeah.
00:23:19
Speaker
That's fair. Either way, can I talk to the the warden, see about getting me out of here, maybe may maybe massaging some salt shoulders over there? She's not home right now. Please leave a message. Oops, I I tapped my spoon. I'm sorry. I dropped your spoon. Sorry. I was going to finish the ground markings. They looked at you. Oh, yeah. just Just bend down there and and draw it. Just go ahead. Do it. The one we watched. Or the message for the warden. Oh, i um, I mean, whatever you think will be sexier. Oh, okay. Yes, yes. Uh, do you have pen and of paper? Are you ready? Nope, just spoon. A recording spoon? Yeah, sure. Talk right into the mic, baby. That's fascinating. I must know where you get your cutlery. Oh, um,
00:24:11
Speaker
That's a trade secret. Are you ever eating breakfast? And it's just like, wow, I had an idea that I really wish that I could just record for future purposes while eating breakfast. But you're busy eating breakfast. A talky spoon. Good. Welcome over the name of workshop. I'll copyright that shit. Yes, we're going to be rich. You and me slug friend. Yes, it's going to be fantastic. okay I mean, but here's the thing. I'm going to let you out anyway. I need help with the other rogue prisoners. I need you to go capture. Oh, that doesn't sound right now. And then like you see at that moment, Mr. Beanpole wakes back up from his finger up in the air, saying a duck immediately falling asleep afterwards. And and and a duck. Yeah, no. yeah Yeah. Catch up. Catch up, Mr. Guy.
00:25:01
Speaker
Hey. Oh, yes, there was ketchup. Oh, is that what's in the spoon? That's closer ketchup. That's very close. Um, so I was just saying you guys should come and help us capture all the bad prisoners that left and in exchange, maybe you'll have a lighter sentence or something. ah Very well. i Hands on his hips.
Chaos and Heroics in Time Jail
00:25:19
Speaker
Hands on his hips, Mr. Beanpole. Excellent. Yes. Mr. Dux in, uh, you scared person. Are you? city it What are you talking about? scar I'm not scared. I'm the bravest person in the Air Force. And I am the very a fearless pilot. And i ja you don't know what you're talking about. ah Then you volunteered to go first. Wonderful. Thank you so much for stepping up.
00:25:54
Speaker
Yes, she should be our leader. per me Yeah, I can totally do that. um ah And she like shakes her head just a little bit. like ah yeah i can Yeah, I can totally command this do whatever you want to call this. Flock. Band of. Squad. Misfits. Platoon. Whatever. Sure. We'll go with Squad of Misfits. How's that? We'll call it The Mighty Ducks.
00:26:28
Speaker
here I like that name where that means a good name. She stands up and she like puts her like kind of pokes her chest out, you know, and and ah puts her hands on her hips and shakes her her head with even though like it's it looks like she's shaking her hair out of her face and she's got like the pilot hat on it. You know, she still shakes. She still shakes her head. And um she's like, OK. What do you command of us to do? ah What did you say your name was again, Mr.
00:27:07
Speaker
um Jaylor person? Yes, you. Oh, I'm sorry. None of us introduced. I'm Marion, and the other guys are Marion. And if you talk to any of the other Marians, they'll tell you their name is Marion. You are all Marion. Yes. That's efficient. Mm hmm. Easy to remember everyone's names. Yes, I will remember that. Cool. And you're also Marion? No. Nobody else in here is Marion. What about you, little girl? And they look over at you, Vestian. Oh, I'm i'm not Marion. My name is Vestian Shorts. Vestian Shorts? Yeah. You're named after pants? Well, I mean, I guess so. But I mean, are they pants if they're shorts, though?
00:27:58
Speaker
Oh, you just wrinkled my little brain. That's a good point there. ah Well, hello. Well met my name or people commonly refer to me as the son of Noll. That's your whole name. The son of Noll. Yes. ah They call me Marion son of Marion. Marion son of Marion. Pleasure. Well met. Yes. Well met son of Noll. No, now no. Oh, don't get short with me no know that's her job
00:28:31
Speaker
i am perfectly fair um I am perfectly like average size that is standing a four-nine, okay? That's perfectly average. Four yeah That's, of course, just a four-nine queen. of ah laughing it Are you laughing at Mr. Beanpole saying no? you That's what I was laughing at. Investion. Yes. you You're Marion. Oh, yep, sorry. I thought you were talking to me. I didn't say Marion. It's Investion.
00:29:07
Speaker
Oh, that sounds similar. Same as syllables.
00:29:15
Speaker
Vestian. Yes, yes. How can I help you? You know what? I reconsider. Thank you for summoning me. This might be actually kind of enjoyable. Great that's perfect. That's awesome. That's great. So we'll help you perfect I did exactly what I was supposed to and ah Someone that that's that's what ah the elder said everyone when when in doubt ah use the circle to summon help So that's what again I did. I did that. That's great. ah she's just like And she just kind of like looks around and then like turns to Felicity. You, I don't think I ever caught your name, Miss Leader Woman. ah What are we gonna do?
00:30:00
Speaker
Um, yes, uh, my name is Felicity Flyer and, uh, I guess we're going to go find out what we have to do about these naughty passengers. Do we have, um, your, your name was, um, uh, Dave Wright. She puts her, her hand to her chin and she's still got one hand on her hip. She's looking at Mary and just like. Right. you know You said your name was Dave. No, my name is Vestian. No, that's my name. but only yes No.
00:30:43
Speaker
Dave is he' going to be confused. but So Dave, we have paddles, right? Like that's what we're going to use to punish them. Like the really good ones with the holes. in the wood, right? yes like for that's Is that that not type of jail? Because I've seen other types of jails and um I don't want to tell you what happens in those. You can use whatever you want. I don't care. I don't have any on me though.
00:31:14
Speaker
hey im Sleepy guy. You look a lot like someone I've seen on TV before. Do you like panels? Um, uh, yes. ah little with A little string on the end. Did you have a ball? I like this guy. He is fun. He's fun. Do you have one of those? No, but I'm sure I could make one from mud. Okay. um Normally we have all of our stuff with us right that we yeah our equipment. I pull a small hand and go, where are these bad people at?
00:31:54
Speaker
I've got one too and she'd like unpacks like a full like fully modified sniper yeah fucking justite ah She has ah Fucking a sniper rifle a big-ass sword and a knife strapped to her plus she can wield And fighting sticks attached to her waist like she is straight up is like decked out weapons I'm quite literally Pagan. They put you guys in jail without taking anything from you. They're just like, they just put you in a hole. You are all full of surprises. This is going to be a fun day. And then you hear off in the distance, ah you and you hear like a bunch of explosions. You go, ah, let's get in closer. Hurry up. We're not made to defend against this kind of stuff.
00:32:42
Speaker
Ha ha! Is the door open? Yes. I was going to say, you have to let this out first. I want i want to do i want to be what would go wrong. I don't want to charge into immediate danger. Do you have to roll for that or do you just run? You just do it and you get two holds to do things. Okay. So yeah, you run off towards where the explosion is with like, I can imagine like Mr. Bean just fucking like doing like a silly little run with like his pistol pointed up in here. It's like you can sprints that all the way. Yeah.
00:33:14
Speaker
yeah Um, so, so you get two holds as you sprint off to where the explosions are. Um, uh, okay. Do you want to act on any of that? Like you want to just run until you see where the explosions are. Yeah. We'll keep going towards it. So as you keep running, you just hear, And then you hear, um, you hear, that is from your favorite communist monkey. And then like, you see like fucking like airplanes, like flying overhead, like weaving in between like all these walls and shit, dropping bombs, like in different people's cells and stuff. There's like three big ass planes dropping fucking like huge bombs. And then you see like a, like a monkey in like a, like a spacesuit in one of like, there's like fucking just driving around like,
00:34:05
Speaker
He's up, he's up flying around in one of them. Yes. There's like several planes flying around, like in this area, just like dropping bombs, just being like, I'm going to point my gun in between all of them and be like, freeze scumbag. it
00:34:21
Speaker
yeah oh yeah okay Are you going to use any of your holds? um Yeah, ill do I'll spend one to inflict. I'm going to shoot ah randomly into the end of the planes and inflict one harm. I guess on the monkey, I guess. you You know what, I'm gonna say Mr. Beanpole just like puts his fucking gun up, just frees and then fires a random shot and just as luck would have it, just fucking clips through the cockpit as like one of them is opened up so they can scream obscenities down at you. As the cockpit opens so they can yell at you, you fucking like clip them like right in a fucking dome and a spectacular crash happens like through one of the big maze walls and just huge fucking explosion as Mr. Beanpole just like snipes the fucking
00:35:08
Speaker
monkey pilot out of the fucking air. I imagine like we got worth it. We're down the hallway still just barely leaving the other room looking down, seeing Mr. Bean firing shots into this other. We're just there staring like what the fuck. And then and then like you see Marion's like eyes like dart back and forth between like like they they're like little tendril eyes like look back and forth and they're like he's efficient. it um So ah Felicity since you're kind of like the ringleader now all of a sudden what do you do? Well she watches ah Mr. Bean like charge into like everything and then watches Mr.
00:35:52
Speaker
mr Bean do all of the shooting and the flying and everything and she just kind of stand in there stunned like with her jaw dropped her she's got a small handgun that is like just kind of like pointed in the air and she just jaws dropped and then she's like uh i guess let's go is there anything else there there there there's multiple there's a there's explosions everywhere yeah like you see one of the ah um
00:36:24
Speaker
Do you see as like you approach to see like more monkey pilots flying around? You see there's like you hear off in the distance for the city as you approach. You see off in the distance, not like this random fucking hallway. You see that there are two Marians. One of them is like wiping his brow with like a wet rag. And the other one is laying underneath a huge fucking airplane and like with a big fat wrench and he's just like wrenching under it. He goes, yeah, so I'm must ready to fly, baby. um And you just see two marians working on an airplane hoping that they're going to get up in the air and go fight those monkeys. She write looks over to her she runs over and hops into the plane. She's like, thanks. And she tries to fly the plane.
00:37:08
Speaker
The plane just talk. What the fuck? um And you're just you're just going to flat try to fly the airplane. All right. Roll act under pressure to see if you can ah see if you can keep your cool and fly this airplane down the runway and up into the time jail skies. Let's say that'll be plus cool. That's a seven. You know what? It takes you a little while. Like you start like kind of like you do that kind of thing where like a first time driver presses the gas in the brake right away and like you just keep like kind of doing that a little bit as like the Americans are trying their damn that to run after you. But there's snails and they just cannot run to save their life. They're just like, right. Well, it's just like the world's slowest car chase where they're just trying to sprint behind you to get their fucking plane back. And then eventually, like after like a few putters and spiders, the fucking plane just like fires up. It turns like
00:37:57
Speaker
90 degrees to the to the ground and then you just fire straight up like a rocket and then like it levels out and like now you are like in flying mode in the air. Sweet. Is there is there a way to like is it like a Gatling gun or something on the plane? There's like little and there's like little machine guns you can fire. Yeah, there's a couple of loaded missiles you could shoot. Roll, kiss, kick some ass. Let's see how many I can shoot. I want to try to take down one. Sure. Go for it. What are you going to do to the ass? Kick some ass. I like your style. You have a You have a six. I'm going to use a luck. Can I use luck already? Yeah. um All right. So that six now turns into a twelve. um ah What is your first encounter?
00:38:53
Speaker
ah That's your luck special. When strange events started you down this path start sparking or you saw some weird shit. Yeah, so I feel like she just sees a monkey flying an airplane and she just all of a sudden just like something like twitches in her brain and she automatically goes into like this mode where she's just like this crazy fucking awesome autopilot. kind of like you You see Baxter, you see Baxter from like when you were abducted under the forecast plane. Yeah. And just like yeah the fuck an evil Baxter, not on my watch. Yeah. and the
00:39:33
Speaker
Wait, so normal just basic master They're like trying to lead a time-jaw revolution you're like not on my watch not on my watch today And like you just like fire like you just like fucking just like riddle like this plane full of holes. And you hear and you just hear him like scream like a bunch of like Russian obscenities um as he just like spirals down and crashed in the same place. The other one crashed. And then, yeah, we can see we can see the other two Americans are like, crap. Guess we got two more to work on, I suppose. um And they just start walking over towards the crash. um What's left of the wreckage?
00:40:14
Speaker
So as you're up there doing your pilot shit, we cut back down to Vestian and Son of Nall over
Portal Room and Valkyrie Encounter
00:40:23
Speaker
at the cells. You guys are seeing just madness happening around you. What do you do? Was that Russian? Was that was that monkey speaking Russian? I mean, I don't know Russian, but I assume so. Oh, I believe it. you Bless you. What does that mean? It's a curse. Curses? I love curses. You know your summoning circle wasn't really very specific. It didn't have my full name on it. It could have accidentally summoned like anything. You could have had like fucking Yogg-Sothoth in here or something. That would have been neat. The Yogg-Sothoth? Oh my god, that would have been so cool. We would have been out of here in like a minute. a bite But, to but, but, I'm more than happy.
00:41:13
Speaker
yeah Have you seen how big Yogg's at the office? Like he literally consumes matter to like expand and grow and like interdimensional. What's your body made of? um Yeah. ah know Oh, that that would have been a problem. I see now. Yeah. A hurdle to get over. Certainly. Anyway, that's why it didn't summon Yaksa thoughts. It summoned you because you were the most apt to help. okay Sure. Thanks, I guess. I guess no. Talk about helping. So the captain ran off head and took off in one of these weird planes. And we're just here with our- I have a sniper rifle, so I'm pretty good with it.
00:42:00
Speaker
Hopefully. Okay. Here, here. Lean it on my shoulder and use that for support. Then I'll be i'll be helping and then I don't really have to do much. so That works for me. Gotcha. I'm still laughing at like her. She's not like a Jewish mom explaining. So I was like, baht, baht, baht.
00:42:25
Speaker
My brain just like cannot like like reconcile that It was like the funniest. I don't know why that was so funny. Georgie's did my favorite, but you always are here on a Saturday and a Sunday to make sure your mother... Don't mess around with your mother and your aunt. You did it. Don't you mess around with that Yogg-Sothoth. That young Sithos is so bad for Bicitesis. It's just dust everywhere where do he lands. Ugh, god, I hate him. Bot, bot, bot, you're a warrior, and you can handle it. You were trained in the ancient martial arts. I'm done. Okay, son of Nall takes a knee, and allows you to put your sniper rifle on his shoulder.
00:43:16
Speaker
um yeah
00:43:22
Speaker
the you know like it like Killed my brain it' so funny but between that and freeze don't burn ah
00:43:33
Speaker
Fucking killed me. Oh, my God. All right. So so you are. um So, son of Noll, you were getting in a knelt position to serve as like a stabilizing tool for Vestian to blast their gun app at of the plane. He he. I might not. Let's get that you go both ways on pods. That's nice.
00:44:01
Speaker
Can I do Y so serious as a move to a i give her plus one forward? If you cap off a move with an appropriate one-liner, the team gets plus one forward. ah Yeah, what's your one-liner? I'm a bipod. a bipod. Okay, sure, sure. So he uses a one-liner to motivate you to give you plus one. So whatever you roll on your next roll of SDN, you can just add a plus one after you roll it. Heck yeah, okay. So this would be kick some ass if you wish to shoot down a plane or at a plane with your gun.
00:44:37
Speaker
Yeah, I'm I'm shooting to kill. Like there's there's a there's no. ah ah So and I just think, OK, OK, submit. Come on. Come on. Oh, Jesus. Nice. set Yeah. g plus One of 14. Jesus. us With like ah expert precision as you lean ah your gun across this bisexual pod and you blast it into the air, ah just it pierces through the bottom of a plane flying it just Ludicrous speed, like from Spaceballs. You fucking just like nail this bullet through the fucking bottom of the plane, up through, just like shredding this monkey within. And the whole plane just like explodes in spectacular fashion, raining down upon you and all of your compatriots, just ash and guts. Just a spectacular shot.
00:45:34
Speaker
um See, I told you I was pretty good. Damn, are you part anti-air gun? What? What? What did you say I didn't have my hearing aids in, huh? Let's show these probably. Honey, I didn't have my ear protection. Yeah, the shot was very loud in my ears and I need to go put a cotton ball and some olive oil in there to make the pain go away. Yeah, you have some cotton ball and and and and and olive oils, Marianne. I assume they're still standing like right there. I have mud. That's what I have. Nah, that won't work. um right sorry It's okay. It's okay. You did your best.
00:46:24
Speaker
so So you shoot down with some motivation from Son of Noll. ah so um And then we we we come we cut back to Mr. Beanpole, who is now asleep with his gun pointed up in the air with some smoke is still coming out of it. um So he is still asleep on his feet with his finger still on the trigger. but As explosions are happening around him, he is not privy to anything going on as the world explodes around him. He is getting covered in ash and blood and he has no idea. That can't be good for your respiratory system. Yeah. um So we cut back to ah Felicity, was it? or Yes, Felicity Flyer.
00:47:12
Speaker
um Felicity, yeah you saw that like you took down one and then two other planes have crashed beneath you. ah You're now on a plane to go surveil the area. What would you like to do as the searcher of the group inside of a fast ass plane? I would like to, in fact, fly around to see if there is an exit. You want to sleep ah seeing if there's an exit, you want to fly around seeing it as an exit? Mm hmm. Uh, sure. Um, you can roll, I guess maybe we could do read a bad situation. Okay. Which would be plus sharp to see what you can see. Um, as you're flying around in this fast ass plane, you've got a seven, a seven, I believe it gives you one question from the read a bad situation list. Um, so what would you like to know? Um, what is my best way out?
00:48:07
Speaker
very apt question to ask. um So um you are flying around in your plane. And just because you are the searcher, you have keen senses, keen eyes, um you are flying past every you start to notice that there are a lot of signs on these like random walls. And You flew past one that said the portal room like you flew past it so quickly, but your eyes clocked it immediately. This is the portal room and you can surmise that that could be a place for you to get the fuck out of here. OK. She's going to take it in your plane.
00:48:48
Speaker
Right. She's going to make a circle around and go back to the others and be like, guys, I found a portal room. Can get out of here. Yeah. I really wish we had radios. Yeah. I just imagine like she's flying past like six times. Guys, we know. I found the wheel. She's so excited that she finally gets to fly, that she's just like not getting out. Oh look, she's drawing smoke signals. Oh hey guys. It says way out.
00:49:26
Speaker
yeah There's like an arrow in smoke. You see Marion's eyes are huge. There's like a little tear streaming down like his little, I don't know. It's a little like jutting out things that like snails eyes rest on, but like you're just running down that little shaft. i thought What are they called? eyes stocklks is running They're running down his eye stalks. He's like, wow, so inspirational. She's an inspiring pilot after all. Quite beautiful. Incredible. Oh, captain, my captain. Oh, captain, now captain. Come along, Mr. Beanpole. Are you awake now? yeah yeah
00:50:07
Speaker
miss um So Mr. Beanpole standing there like with his gun still in the air just wakes up. He's covered in blood and ash from like planes that are crashing around him. All the planes are out of the sky. Mr. Beanpole you wake up after hearing your name yelled. What do you do? Another successful mission. Definitely. Your true inspiration. You really should get seen by a doctor though. Um, they've tried. Um, you could come, you could, you could come to, uh, one of our meetings and I'm sure that, uh, you know, we may have, uh, we may have a solution. Oh, sounds lovely. Yes. They might force you to come via something circle.
00:50:52
Speaker
i Um, ah ah Ha ha ha, yes. It's very funny being forced against your will to be somewhere. yeah now it's i'm I'm sorry about that. oh no It's forgiven. This has been a lot of fun so far. even though i'm I'm glad you're having fun. I might have tinnitus now after that muzzle blast right next to my ear. but yeah I'm sorry. I left my silencer at home and this is not my home. so yeah That checks out. Very reasonable.
00:51:25
Speaker
All right, let's run in that direction, shall we? OK. OK. You guys are going to head towards where ah Felicity is spelling out in sky letters and screaming out. There's a portal over here. Yeah. OK. Now. ah I will say that ah Felicity, as you're flying around, getting ready to come and ah land, you see riding on the backs of these beautiful pegasi coming out of nowhere wearing like shiny silver armor, luxurious hair and big motherfucking swords um and like kind of like helmets with wings on them.
00:52:10
Speaker
um You see these beautiful, like at least three. I'd say I'd say there's probably another trio, a trio of these winged, helmed, beautiful women with big ass swords are just like riding towards your plane at like ridiculous speeds on the back of ah of a Pegasus. ah What do you do? Do they look like they are like attacking me or they butwe what is their demeanor? Oh, yeah, they look angry. They look mad at you. You hear one of those. I was like, I hear you because they're Scottish.
00:52:44
Speaker
yeah but Bet you thought it was gonna be something else, but Scottish Yeah yeah yeah you you know what i and are good i'd be fine One of them goes you you killed out a monkey And they fly towards you with their big sword. You haven't goes. Yeah dang. Oh monkey killer. You're the other one say um
00:53:16
Speaker
ah god so she's going to see see That one doesn't have a big sword they have a boomstick She does a barrel roll nose dive and goes straight into the portal room to try to fly the plane. You're going to try to fly your plane into the portal room. This will go smoothly. All right. Roll a roll a an act under pressure to see how you do with that to try to avoid what they're doing.
00:53:49
Speaker
All right, let's go, baby. That's cool. I got an eight. That's not the worst thing you could roll for act under pressure. So on a on a seven to nine, I'll give you a worse outcome or price to pay. I'm going to say that you avoid like you see like the ones coming in with like this brandishing a big ass two handed sword with one hand like fucking cloud strife style and is fucking like Coming in and just like swinging this big thing. Barely barely missing as like you do a sick fucking roll to get out of the way. um And you do head towards the portal room, but as you do that sick ass roll, you clip one of your wings off of the ah off of like the big ass walls that are there because you're not really in a clear sky. There are walls everywhere. yeah And I'm going to say that either.
00:54:40
Speaker
You can choose to either smack your fucking smash through the wall, ruining your plane or you'll get one of your wings cut off by one of the Valkyries. Which one do you want to do? Crash as cut through the wall. All right. You smash through the wall, avoiding getting cut. You smash through the wall here. Oh, Jesus, forever that is. And then like a bunch of just like you see you see like a bunch of snails just get like splattered across the side of your fucking plane as like you smash into this fucking room tipping over a bunch of like giant dish looking mirrors with different like labels on them. And it's just a mess in here and like
00:55:17
Speaker
ah you know I'm gonna say that you might take maybe one harm just from the bump. um okay ah But outside of that, you're weirdly okay. But you've knocked over a lot of these. You see like in the room that you're in, there's like these giant fucking like, Uh, they look like giant. Like if if you think of like those little mirrors, that like gals sometimes will do their makeup in that like spin and shit. I don't know what those are called, but like, vanity it's like a, it's like a big version of a big vanity mirror. Uh, it looks like a big oval dish, uh, with us with like nothing in it. It's just like a big hole. And there's a bunch of these around this room and you've knocked over several of them and murdered several times. Snails in the process as you crash your plane into this room. Um, so.
00:56:02
Speaker
but Hold on to that thought while you're doing that. We'll go over to Mr. Beanpole. Are you still awake? Yeah. Mr. Beanpole's awake. So you see a spectacular crash um if through this wall as you see Vestian and ah the son of Nall are on their way towards you. What do you do? He's scratching his chin. o There's a hole in the middle. There's nothing in the middle of nowhere. Nothing. Snail. You see one of the snails is like trying to crawl off from under the wreckage of the plane. And he's like, so they're so close to during your death. And then you see dies. No, I think I was right. And then he then he wakes back up, he revives himself.
00:56:56
Speaker
No, you're actually wrong, though. And then he dies. A broken clock is right twice a day. That's true. That's true. Yeah, you hear like you see like some of the other snails are like agreeing with agreeing with this. Yeah, that's true. That is sure was correct. That's right. That does happen. I haven't seen a clock in a long time, but I hear that's how they work. um um So anything else you want to do aside from your riddle? And i I run to the ah crash portal room area. ah You go into the portal room. um So as you're doing that, Vestian and ah and Son of Nall, are you guys going to where the crash is or something else that you would rather be doing? As you see above you, there are these winged helmed women riding around on Pegasi and just essentially tried to cut your friend down. What are those? Who are they? What's that? That's a good question. I don't know.
00:57:53
Speaker
Oh, they're Valkyries. They're after me. I can't be seen. I gotta go. Hide me. Hide me. I can't be seen. Here you go. Put the jacket on. Oh, he wrapped it around his head. I am just a babushka. What's that? I see him like crawling all over her back, like trying to climb all over. Take my arm, like you're escorting me across the road quickly. Okay. Uh, I'm I'm just escorting this, uh, Babababababa, um, across this way. Don't mind us. Have a nice ride. You, uh, you pretty ladies and, can i and take us. i I loved you. And so, so let's have son of Nall do a, an act under pressure role and then let's have, uh, Vestian do a manipulate someone role to see if you guys can combine.
00:58:51
Speaker
convince these people that you were just a babushka and someone helping them across the street. That's a 9 for gnaw. That's pretty good. Son of gnaw, that's a 9. That's pretty solid. Okay, and then i manipulate someone. This will go well. This will go well. You might get lucky. well You never know. Hey, an 8? Wow, you guys are doing better than anticipated. Not too bad. Wow, and that goes for charm, right? Or cool? Yeah, that's charm. Ah, yeah, that's a minus 1. Cool. Yeah, so you did pretty all right. So you land or rather you're walking trying to like do your best look at like son of knowledge, like trying to maintain their cool the best they can. And then like one of the the boomstick Valkyrie lands down and like the horse like start sniffing son of knowledge. You guys are like walking towards the portal room and then like you hear Nick Nabbit thought she was. Thought she looked familiar, but I guess I'm mistaken.
00:59:47
Speaker
That's not my accent. That's British. right
00:59:53
Speaker
The change in accents there, buddy. He was like, you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you. That's true. That's true. You really don't. You really don't have to. The Valkyrie from Down Under. Right. I said it's not an accent. I didn't say south or where. Yeah, I said south. I didn't say where or south. So, um, bite me. I don't want to. Excuse us, dearies. Respect your elders and such. Okay then. um
01:00:24
Speaker
Well, off you go. I'm going to go find that lady that crashed in a plane or whatnot. Make sure she doesn't get away. And I'll say I'm sorry, but I'm not taking off my glasses and um a fly away on their Pegasus flies up and then goes over towards where the portal room where Felicity crashed your plane um and the other two follows. So you guys have successfully duped these Valkyries into leaving you the fuck alone. Excellent work. Great teamwork. That was awesome. This investing. I had something to tell you. ah What is it? Listen, I am Loki, the Norse got a mischief. They're after me. They cannot find me. Don't worry, I'll protect you. ah Thank you. Truth be told, I will like i willingly accept the summons so I can get away from them. They had me bound to a rock long ago and you know, things I did that were totally not my fault. Okay, they kind of were, but either way, they noticed that I was missing and I don't know how they found their way here, but they did.
01:01:24
Speaker
is Um, so while you guys are having a conversation, uh, what are you going to, what are you going to say? Oh, no, I think, I think that it was just like, I think you just see Vessi had just like, just like this, like, just like look it up with a big old smile. Like, uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. We got to get to that portal. I agree. I agree. We we should definitely go and do that. Miss, uh, Mr. Um, totally not Loki, sir. Let's go. You can tell me grandma.
01:01:57
Speaker
You have to help me too, okay? I want to show you off to all my friends. I definitely won't betray you. Okay, that's great. I'm so glad to hear that. Oh my gosh, that's great. I won't betray you either. We're going to be great. We're going to be best friends. Absolutely.
01:02:20
Speaker
OK, so while you guys are heading into the portal room, Mr. Beanpole is in there. Felicity, you crashed your plane. um You're getting out of the cockpit and you see that as you're getting out, Mr. Beanpole, you see that these three Valkyries, one with a boomstick, two with giant swords, land their pegasi ah in that vicinity. And um ah you see one of them like is ah hopping off their pegasi and then running over towards the crash where you're getting out of your plane. What do you do? Oh, it's all on Mr. Beanpole to save the day, huh? Well, firstly, don't worry, I'll check it out.
01:03:00
Speaker
Um, I'm going to, I'm going, i it doesn't really matter if I get experience points, so but I'm just going to say, don't worry, I'll check it out. So I walk over, uh, to where the Valkyries are. And I just kind of stand there looking at them while they're landing and whatnot. So, okay. So you're just going to walk us. You're just going to wander into the danger for an experience point. And then you just kind of look up at them with like a weird look on your face. Yeah, kind of like that. I'm not always generally, I guess, doing any kind of funny face for Mr. Bean, I guess, when he squeezes his nose up, he's like, Oh, what's going on? and and you You hear one of them like this, like, starts like.
01:03:42
Speaker
staring down at him like because they're they're rather I should say they're rather tall ladies like they're kind of they're almost Amazonian how big they are and they're fucking Peg desire huge and so like one of them is kind of like just like standing kind of like probably belly button to face so with Mr. Beanpole and like they're looking up back and forth and they look over at you about Felicity is the other Valkyrie is approaching you and they yell Is this a friend of yours? Is a yellow view, Felicity? What do you do? um No, I never seen him before in my life. Why, I can't tell if he's being a creep or if he's falling asleep on me.
01:04:31
Speaker
Well, he I mean, look at him. He doesn't really look of high intelligence very well. I mean, look on his face. He's just kind of like. I don't know. I think he's lost mostly, but like, you know, but oh my gosh, I love your outfit. Your, your, I love your helmet too. Could I get one of those? Cause man, that would be awesome. Hey, look, he's asleep. Look at him go. He's just staring up at, staring up at my, my, my chesticles just sleep and probably dreaming of
01:05:06
Speaker
snoo snoo.
Curtain Call and Reflections
01:05:07
Speaker
Um, probably like, ah wait, wait, wait, you want, you want one of our outfits? You want to be a Valkyrie? Yeah. Look at you. You're so hot. She starts kind of walking up to the one that's closest to the portal. All right. Roll manipulate someone to see if you can charm your way out of the situation. Okay. See how well you do. Seven. Not Great. But and she's like, all right, look, if you want to be a Valkyrie, we could have an open audition right now. How about you go ahead and you help us find ah we're looking for someone. We're looking for Loki. He's a shape shifter. He changes his shape. He takes the form of different people. We were told he got here just a little bit ago. You help us take him out. You can be a Valkyrie. What do you see? Well, I mean,
01:06:00
Speaker
That sounds like a pretty good deal. I did meet somebody who was weird, like just, you know, a couple of minutes ago, they just like showed up out of my cell, you know, they're back over there. She like points over her thumb, over her shoulder. and fuck Oh I think they're on to us. and i'm not sure though it's still not my anymore
01:06:33
Speaker
And then as you see the the kind of one with the boomstick fires like a flare up into the air and then you just see out of nowhere like a big crack of lightning just like flashes down. And then once the dust disappears and the lightning bolt dissipates, you see like a big fucking like eight foot tall burly dude with a bit of a beer gut and a big ass fucking blunt hammer with a bunch of runes all over it. And he says, brother, where are you? wow he's cool
01:07:04
Speaker
yeah i I'm dead. i oh no ask me why you Meanwhile, you see like the one the other the other Valkyrie is always like pulls out like a like one of those. ah What do you call it? Like those Taylor, um, like tape strings. What the fuck do you call those? Like ones that aren't tape measures. What the fuck do you call it? Just like, oh, like a fabric tape measure, like, like tape rope. Yeah. And they're just like, already like sizing you up to like, I arms out. They're sizing you up for armor already. asked Yeah, like like like the other ones and then she like while she's doing it She's ripping like scraps off your plane and then she's like trying to bend it into pieces of armor for you to like fit it on your Can't beat him join him,
01:07:59
Speaker
ah So, Vestian, what do you do? It's like, Mr. Beam pulls asleep just looking up in the air. You see ah Felicity is being sized for armor, and then you see there's two other Valkyries, plus what you can only assume is Tor, God of Tundr. Fucking just, like, making his way over towards you. What do you do?
01:08:19
Speaker
I think we should not be here right now. I think it's kind of like look as like looking at the giant man walking towards her, she's just like leaning in. allowed I don't think we should be here right now. I have an idea. no What's your idea? I'd like to use his ah freakish ability to ah use manipulate someone on monsters, attempting to manipulate any of the Marians that are around into perhapsly aiding him in causing a distraction. Like, sure. You could go ahead and roll. Go ahead and roll. Manipulate on the ah on the Marians and see what you get. I like it. That's hilarious.
01:09:02
Speaker
so The next seven his his eyes begin to glow a little bit deeper as he looks around the room at the Marians. He's like, ah my friends, my friends, listen, these are the ones causing all the trouble. They're behind it all. We have to stop them and get them out of the jail right now. Mm hmm. You see, you see, there's probably, I would say, like, a small handful of Marians that are kind of left in the portal room, that all of a sudden, like, you see, like, they take, like, their mud pies and start painting their faces with it, the kind of Braveheart style. And you hear, you hear the
01:09:38
Speaker
may it take out of place, but they will never take son of now. um And then, like, they they start to, like, very slowly, like, just start, like, like trying to trudge over towards them with, like, little stick bats and stuff like that. They're trying to, like, help you. And, like, you see Thor is just like, Oh. ah He's like dead confused. So you've distracted Thor God of Thunder for like four seconds as he's just like confused about what the fuck all these Marians are even talking about.
01:10:11
Speaker
um So, that's what you got going on right now. is there They've turned on Thor God of Thunder to protect you. Okay, excellent. And the Scottish Valkyrie should be extremely confused. She doesn't even know what the fuck is going on. She doesn't know whose side she should be on, I'm sure. I am so confused! Scotland forever! It's okay, you can figure it out eventually. I believe in you. Just give me a second. I'll get it. You got this. ah Mr. Beanpole, you wake back up ah to the sight of um ah Felicity getting sized up by a Valkyrie to fit her for armor, because you don't know this, but she ratted out where Loki was. um
01:10:58
Speaker
Thor God of Thunder bampt in so you see a big like eight foot dude with a beer gut and blonde hair and a big hammer walking over towards them. And you see a couple of Marians that seem like they're dead set on defending themselves or defending ah your friend ah to the death. um And then you see Vestia just whispering encouragement watches over there. um Everyone, everyone, wait, stop, stop. No. What are you trying to do? um Not what you think. topic for sure We just got started. I figured it out.
01:11:36
Speaker
i
01:11:38
Speaker
H. Oh, that's a good answer. You see a beam of light shines down upon you.
01:11:48
Speaker
And you see all of a sudden, Thor, all of the Marians, the Valkyries, all take a knee and bend to Mr. Beanpole as you hear. And suddenly a mop materializes in his hand.
01:12:04
Speaker
What? I don't know what's going on. I look over at a son of Noel. Son of Noel.
01:12:16
Speaker
Yes. He's the H. Yeah, what the H is going on here? yeah That's a good question. I think the answer is H. You hear you hear Odin stands, or not Odin. Oh yeah, you know what, well you see like a bunch of ravens like emerge from the Mr. Beanpole and start flying out. Oh no, it's the Beanfather.
01:12:49
Speaker
And you see, like, Hurgan and Durgan and other other Ravens names. I don't remember. Blitzen and Donner. Yeah, not all of them. This is all a trick. It was all a trick for me. Just fucking with me because of the fact that I fucked with them, huh? You know what, Vestian? Who the fuck are you? I'm Vestian Shorts. Oh, OK. At least you're being called Burps. At least it's some consistency.
01:13:18
Speaker
You see like all of this existential godly stuff is taking place and the camera cuts the vest and she just looks down the barrel with a thumbs up. I'm vesting shorts. yeah One thing you just know about Vestian Shorts is that they are Vestian Shorts. I see it like a fucking ah one of those movies that start out with like you know the very end you know kind of like ah ah like any fucking Tarantino movie and it's like it's got everything going on in the background and all you see is I'm Vestian Shorts. How did I He's like you're probably wondering how I got here.
01:13:58
Speaker
really wondering how i got here like at the big ki It all started when I met Loki, when I accidentally summoned Loki. My friend, Loki. We're best friends. He'll never betray me. And then Loki looks at the camera crew and is like, are we done? Did we get it? Yeah. And then you see, you see a Marion sitting in a director chair and he goes, we got it, baby. You're a star. Shut up, I know it. we should ah so
01:14:29
Speaker
yes all alright guys ah drinks on me nice And then everybody walks off set to go get drinks at the local pub. That was a really good run. That was very good. ah You were excellent, Vestian. Oh, thank you. You are great. You are super great. I think you were the best. You're cool. And then and then you see you see a woman with bright blonde hair and she's like a thousand years old, appears and she puts a microphone right up to Mr. Bean. But she goes, Mr. Bean, Mr. Bean, ha you are so good and you're in your role. How do you do it? How do you prepare for such a role? Dark, dark, dark.
01:15:18
Speaker
it's i and then said it better myself honestly then just Oh my god, I cannot believe he said it to me. His famous line. Can you but believe it? um I have to mop the floor now that the show's over. Excuse me. Oh, sorry, love. You gotta prepare for your next role as Mr. Mop Man. You know, I was really questioning them casting Mr. Bean as, you know, old in the All-Father, but it really works. I think tied the whole thing together.
01:15:50
Speaker
Exactly. And then you see see she walks over to you um to you Felicity and she goes, oh my God, I just cannot believe the heel turn where you ratted out your own teammate. How could you? How did you prepare for such a devious role? Life. life and There's no better answer, honestly. Life really changes a woman, you know?
01:16:27
Speaker
though you had a hair first ah Just one simple answer to change the world, and also by the by, my favorite cereal. And she says, do you want to elaborate on that or anything, love? No. Oh, my God, chills, literal chills, goosebumps all over my body.
Behind the Scenes and Character Insights
01:16:51
Speaker
um And she walks over to you, son of Noll, and she goes, the son of Noll, a.k.a. fucking Loki. What a swerve. Who could have known that's who you were? Tell me, darling, how did you prepare for such a role? he He's ah suddenly in like a business suit and like sitting down on this cushion interview chair. Yeah.
01:17:15
Speaker
Well, it didn't really take too much. It it kind of fell into my lap of sorts. But once I did some character development and really dove into to who Loki is, it wasn't any problem. And then all I had to do is a little bit of a flick of the wrist and bend reality a little bit to make everybody think that we were on a set and bada bing, that's it. Wow, I just, it's so method, so meta, how? Just how do you, how are you? How do you, how am you? You're so glorious. I don't know how I am, but what I do know is that I'm working on multiple multiple brand deals. So if you want to get in any advertisers out there, go ahead and get at me. I'm also working on my record label. um I'm going into rap music. Oh, what's your first single coming out?
01:18:07
Speaker
to be revealed in time. Oh, okay. Oh, is that the title? take go No, no, no, that's the... That's just one of the singles. The album is, no, Thor, I really didn't stay steal Sif's hair. Don't worry. Oh, wow. Wow. I'm just Thor thinking about it. Oh. I guess you're too much. You're too much. Oh, no. Oh, you. Get out of here before you break my 15th heart. Like that's a lot of that's a lot. And she like she goes over to our four foot nine hero vestiate and she puts a mic in your face and she's like now you played one of the most crucial roles in this movie. You brought the son of Odin to the jail.
01:18:55
Speaker
How did you, I mean, how did you think to do the runes out of the mud and the yoga? I mean, i mean and and and and the and everybody's famous. There's already T-shirts being printed. The bot, bot, bot. How did you get into the mind space for the Vestian shorts? Well, um that's a great question. That's that's actually, that's, that's ah well, ah me already being Vestian Shorts is like a top, is is like probably one of the first things that comes to mind. It wasn't really a hard character to do since I i am Vestian Shorts, but I'm just really grateful for the opportunity that the Marians gave me that, ah you know, their mud
01:19:41
Speaker
ah stuff worked surprisingly well for a, ah for a summoning circle. That's summoned to my best friend, the son of Nal, aka Loki, here with us today. So I'm just, I'm really grateful for the variants. And then ah um what were the other questions? I forgot, I'm old. Oh, okay. That's fine. I forgot too. And I'm young, but that's besides the point. You don't look a day of a tomb idea. You look great. I'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm not too, but thank you. Oh, well, you're a 10 out of 10 to me, baby. Oh, thank you. You're so sweet. You're sweet. You're you're amazing.
01:20:28
Speaker
And then we cut to like a talk, we cut to like a talking head of Marion. He's like sitting in a dark room, like directly like looking at the camera and he like has his like hands like finger tinted. I said, there are some times when you're preparing for a role such as the Marion, I'm one guy playing a thousand guys. You know, it's not easy. And then like as like art magic i Come up with a mop. I was about to say the same thing. Holy fuck. I was just about to say that. Holy shit. I was just about to say if Mr. Bean comes in with a mop and blocks the camera. Holy fuck.
01:21:00
Speaker
da
01:21:04
Speaker
Mr. Bean, that's your mop and do you say anything? I say duck. I'm swinging them up over his head. I like the stick of it. And then like you you just hear like ah a mo bucket, a bunch of splatters and then just like, a ah, as like the screen goes black and then you just hear like, oh, duck. Whoops, this is salt water.
01:21:31
Speaker
ah And thus that completes our episode of Time Jail, everybody. um What a ride that was. Turns I could not expect to be good to be taken had happened. like No, it usually ah never is.
01:21:52
Speaker
Like legit. and I like to think that there's an after credit scene, too, in which ah ah which in the ah the interview room that Marion's in, in the back corner, there's a guy with ah a cigarette hanging out his mouth, and he's like, ah Mr. Bean, can you please leave? We're trying to do ah an investigation onto how prisoners escaped again. um mary yeah but and Mr. Marion, this is not a TV interview about your role as Marion. This is your trial. This is a criminal trial about how you have prisoners to escape. Could you please answer the questions? And Bean sits down and he says, yes, criminal negligence is no joke, Mr. Marion. Don't make me get out the salt water again.
01:23:19
Speaker
but does it look good already
01:23:45
Speaker
It looks good already.