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Episode 23: The Energy of Anxiety and How We Deal with It
7 Plays2 years ago
Have you ever experienced anxiety? A feeling of worry, nervousness, some people feel like some event might be coming up, and they have no control over it. It is frightening and stressful. In some worst-case scenarios, you end up having panic attacks.
We have had different experiences with anxiety. Today, we are at a point where we can comfortably say we know how to handle our anxieties. Lili's anxiety started back when she was a child. She grew up in an environment that didn’t give her many options. She was always anxious and had butterflies in her stomach. When she moved to the US, her anxiety didn’t get any better. She was in survival mode, and her anxiety hit its peak. At some point, her anxiety could cause panic attacks. She never sought any professional help, but she came across meditation which came in as a savior for her.
For Shannon, she has had social anxiety for the better part of her life. She recalls in high school; she liked a guy who wasn’t serving her. It caused her anxiety which was characterized by stomach aches with bad gas. Recently, she went out with one of her friends, and her social anxiety hit her. Some people kept staring at them, making her feel like her childhood anxiety was creeping back.
In this episode, we share our experiences with anxiety and how we are handling it now.
Listen in and learn.
Key Talking Points of the Episode:
[00:21] What is anxiety?
[01:03] Lili’s experience with anxiety
[08:37] Shannon’s experience with anxiety
[25:03] How Shannon deals with her anxiety
[27:59] Calling back your energy and power
[30:45] Getting to know yourself and your triggers
[34:41] Dealing with negative thoughts
Magical Quotes from the Episode:
“I think the more you get to know what triggers you and what does anxiety look like to you? What does it feel like in your body, and then you start catching that? You are becoming more aware.”
“If you’re paying attention to something, you’re going to manifest it even further and to some degree.”
Note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only
Resources:
School for Meditation and Healing
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)
American Psychological Association
Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Support Groups
National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health: Anxiety
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Psychic Girls Next Door'
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Psychic Girls Next Door.
00:00:03
Speaker
We are your hosts, Lily Hiberino and Shannon Miller.
00:00:07
Speaker
This podcast is for all spirituality enthusiasts and psychics next door to share tools, experiences and spiritual practices that align with your highest vibrational self.
00:00:17
Speaker
On this episode, we'll be talking about the energy of anxiety, and I think a lot of us can resonate with this energy.
Understanding and Managing Anxiety
00:00:25
Speaker
So basically, as you know, the definition of anxiety is just this feeling of worry and
00:00:33
Speaker
nervousness maybe unease some people feel like there's like some event that might be coming up and then you have no control over it or the sense of uncertainty I'm going to say that might come with it
00:00:52
Speaker
So we're just going to be talking about if we have experienced anxiety, how do we deal with anxiety and the energetics behind all that.
00:01:03
Speaker
So maybe I can start sharing my own experience with anxiety.
00:01:07
Speaker
I think I have been experiencing anxiety since I was in my mom's.
00:01:12
Speaker
womb.
00:01:16
Speaker
I come from a family that has been through a lot, especially my grandparents.
00:01:21
Speaker
They went through war and I think that has been like a generational
00:01:28
Speaker
energy that's being carried through and they, if you're not familiar with my story, my grandparents, they immigrated to Brazil.
00:01:37
Speaker
They fled World War II when they were in Japan.
00:01:42
Speaker
And, you know, they basically had to start from scratch.
00:01:47
Speaker
They came into a country where they didn't know the language.
00:01:52
Speaker
didn't know the culture and they just had to survive and just adapt and adjust, you know, and it was incredibly hard.
00:02:02
Speaker
And then, you know, my parents were born into that environment and then, you know, comes me in the picture many, many years later.
00:02:15
Speaker
And I cannot even like pinpoint like the first time that I start feeling anxiety.
00:02:22
Speaker
It's been something that I've been experiencing since I was very young.
00:02:29
Speaker
I think since I was a teenager I remember
00:02:33
Speaker
just like being in any sort of environment.
00:02:37
Speaker
It didn't matter if I was in school, if I was just by myself, I would just feel this uneasiness and I would feel like this, I don't know, like this, kind of like this butterflies in my stomach sort of feeling, you know?
00:02:54
Speaker
Like anything would cause me anxiety.
00:02:56
Speaker
That was like the basic my basic reality.
00:03:00
Speaker
I would if I have to go somewhere I would feel already that social anxiety and kind of creeping in.
00:03:07
Speaker
If I have to stand in line I would feel anxious.
00:03:11
Speaker
Like all the situations would bring me anxiety.
00:03:15
Speaker
And the years went by, my anxiety got so bad that it ended up escalating to panic attacks.
Types of Anxiety and Their Impact
00:03:26
Speaker
And at that point, I just knew that I had to make changes because that was not a healthy state to be in.
00:03:36
Speaker
And I think also I, you know, and I think anxiety comes in many different ways.
00:03:42
Speaker
Some people might have anxiety, could be just like a momentary thing.
00:03:49
Speaker
Some people experience anxieties that kind of like it's like a day to day reality.
00:03:54
Speaker
Some people have really chronic anxiety.
00:03:57
Speaker
And for me, yeah, my anxiety was at the levels of being very chronic.
00:04:02
Speaker
I have never been officially medically diagnosed with anxiety, but it's always been there.
00:04:10
Speaker
I mean, especially when it escalated to having panic attacks, that was just terrible.
00:04:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:17
Speaker
Then you just know that it's a point where you just cannot avoid it anymore.
00:04:22
Speaker
Because it's one of those things you find yourself feeling anxious.
00:04:26
Speaker
And then it's kind of, it comes in waves.
00:04:28
Speaker
It comes up and you're like, oh, okay, I'm feeling this.
00:04:31
Speaker
And it kind of subsides.
00:04:33
Speaker
And then you're like, oh, I'm okay.
00:04:34
Speaker
But then it hits you again.
00:04:36
Speaker
So it just comes, it would come and go.
00:04:39
Speaker
And it was not until I actually started as meditation training that we both did.
00:04:45
Speaker
attended that I started realizing that a lot of my anxiety was this disconnection that I had with my body and also I was very much in the future I was always like oh my gosh I need to survive all right I'm like coming to the U.S. as an immigrant too and again like oh the survival I
00:05:07
Speaker
energy would just come through, and so that would cause me a lot of anxiety, because I felt a lot of times I didn't have control over things, and there were things were happening to me, you know, for me, so that was also another thing that I've, I worked on, just like also changing the perceptions around all that stuff.
Personal Experiences with Anxiety and Coping Mechanisms
00:05:29
Speaker
But this is like my story with anxiety in a nutshell.
00:05:32
Speaker
But I want to also learn how if you have experienced anxiety or... Which I have.
00:05:41
Speaker
No, but I want to know more.
00:05:42
Speaker
Like when you were experiencing your panic attacks, did you ever think like, I need to see someone.
00:05:49
Speaker
I need to talk to a doctor.
00:05:51
Speaker
I need to talk to a therapist or I need to phone a friend.
00:05:56
Speaker
Like when you were going through like...
00:05:58
Speaker
you know, that time in your life, did you ever think like, I need to reach out to get, you know, help in a different way?
00:06:06
Speaker
I did, but I was at a point where I felt I had a lot of resistance in asking for help.
00:06:15
Speaker
And it's something that I've been working on a lot throughout the years.
00:06:20
Speaker
It's still a challenge to ask for help.
00:06:23
Speaker
And I think a lot of us probably have that issue.
00:06:29
Speaker
And I remember the first time that I even acknowledged that was just by telling a friend.
00:06:36
Speaker
I had a friend of mine and she just asked me like, oh, how are you doing?
00:06:41
Speaker
I'm like, I'm not doing well at all.
00:06:44
Speaker
I've been experiencing the symptoms.
00:06:47
Speaker
And just by expressing that for me was huge because I've been always someone that would just like push it down.
00:06:56
Speaker
I would never suppress it.
00:06:58
Speaker
I would never like even allow myself to process it, fully feel it or process it.
00:07:04
Speaker
Imagine just like telling others.
00:07:06
Speaker
And I had this fear of like, oh my gosh, what are they going to think about me?
00:07:10
Speaker
So I had like all this fear pictures of, are they going to judge me?
00:07:16
Speaker
You know, and just like all this, all this
00:07:21
Speaker
judgment that I had about myself.
00:07:23
Speaker
I thought people were judging me.
00:07:25
Speaker
So that was my first step.
00:07:27
Speaker
But I never felt like I had to reach out to seek medical help.
00:07:33
Speaker
I think the meditation training came right when I needed it because that's right at the point I want to see like around 2016 2017.
00:07:41
Speaker
That's when it's like really started escalating.
00:07:46
Speaker
And then a lot of times was my body, because it's a body communication, it was just telling me, you know, you need to make changes in your life and you're not listening.
00:07:56
Speaker
So I am going to send all this warning, blaring sirens and you have to listen.
00:08:03
Speaker
And that's when I remember I was like, you know, that dramatic picture just like laying in bed like, universe, what should I do?
00:08:11
Speaker
You know, help me type of thing.
00:08:14
Speaker
And that's when I joined the meditation training.
00:08:19
Speaker
And that has, my gosh, it has shifted this energy around anxiety like dramatically.
00:08:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:26
Speaker
You know, so I mean, in my case, that was my case.
00:08:29
Speaker
I know there are cases where people do have to seek professional or medical help.
00:08:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:36
Speaker
You know, thank you for sharing.
00:08:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:39
Speaker
I think my journey with anxiety has been kind of, you know, either.
00:08:44
Speaker
it's either silently constant or sporadic depending on how you think about it.
00:08:49
Speaker
Like, I think I have always had anxiety in different forms.
00:08:55
Speaker
Like, when I was a kid, I definitely had, I mean, I have social anxiety.
00:09:01
Speaker
I don't have it as much now.
00:09:02
Speaker
I think now I don't really care.
00:09:04
Speaker
Like, I'll talk to anyone who's willing to listen and, like, you know, people are people.
00:09:09
Speaker
Like, regardless of,
00:09:11
Speaker
if they're a CEO at a company or if they're, you know, a janitor in high school, like my dad worked as a janitor in high school, but, and something that he taught me was like, treat everyone like a really great acquaintance.
00:09:23
Speaker
And I think that alleviated my social anxiety when he told me that when I was, I think he told me that in like eighth grade, ninth grade, somewhere in high school, he gave me that advice.
00:09:34
Speaker
And I think that really stuck with me and call it like programming or,
00:09:39
Speaker
But it kind of resonated with me at the time because then it took the pressure off of, like, me going into narratives about, like, well, like, you know, what does this person want from me or, like, having to perform or having to fit in or whatever, like, you know,
00:09:58
Speaker
narrative my mind and my anxiety kind of took over for the day but I remember in high school I would have massive stomach aches like every day driving into school and I was like you know I liked a guy who wasn't serving me and I put a lot of my energy into that like faux relationship it wasn't even a real relationship
00:10:22
Speaker
I mean, we were friends, but I feel like, you know, at the time he didn't really care about me.
00:10:25
Speaker
And so I had a lot of anxiety because I wanted something to happen that was never going to happen, like just being real about it.
00:10:33
Speaker
And I think when you experience like...
00:10:38
Speaker
you know, like I would, I would have like bad gas, like just holding everything in, in my stomach.
00:10:46
Speaker
And I was like, well, thank God I'm driving alone.
00:10:51
Speaker
I mean, literally holding it in, holding it in, holding it all together, feeling like I had to hold it all together.
00:10:57
Speaker
And like, I had a lot of like, just, I've had digestive issues forever.
00:11:03
Speaker
And I think when my need to control things has come out through like food, I think I've had a lot of different anxieties throughout my life that have caused me to kind of like take it out on my body in some way.
00:11:19
Speaker
Like in fifth grade, I overate on goldfish and I was like addicted to goldfish for a little bit.
00:11:26
Speaker
And a lot of it was like in relation to like
00:11:30
Speaker
how I needed to look I had gained a little bit of weight when I was 10 and like but then I was like oh that probably was from the goldfish habit so um and then you know I I when seventh grade I made myself you know go running after after school every day or like around like four or five o'clock I would go running in my neighborhood and I'm like
00:11:52
Speaker
I lived in Antioch, like super, super ghetto.
00:11:55
Speaker
And I'm like, how, how are my parents like letting me run?
00:11:59
Speaker
And I remember we would walk like the track near the middle school that I lived at, at the time.
00:12:05
Speaker
And, um, I was like thinking like, Oh, this is, you know, it's a nice activity to do with my family, but my mom would come with me and my sister and we would all walk the track.
00:12:15
Speaker
But I think
00:12:16
Speaker
In seventh grade, it became kind of obsessive.
00:12:18
Speaker
Like, I was very thin, and then I realized that it was a lot to do with, like, feeling like I needed to be perfect in some way, and, like, the anxiety of, like, you need to look a certain way, you need to behave a certain way.
00:12:34
Speaker
In the sixth grade, I think all throughout middle school, I had this huge perfectionist complex.
00:12:40
Speaker
I wanted to get straight A's.
00:12:42
Speaker
I just wanted to have more for myself.
00:12:46
Speaker
I mean, my parents provided me just enough, situationally.
00:12:51
Speaker
That's all that we could do, and I'm grateful for what they could provide me.
00:12:57
Speaker
But there was always a part of me that always wanted more.
00:13:00
Speaker
And so I got a job when I was, you know, 15 and a half as soon as I could start working so that I could, you know, buy the clothes I wanted from Urban Outfitters because we couldn't afford them at the time where the money was allocated to other things like food on the table and, like, you know, being able to do swim team or things that, like, where it wasn't for frivolous, like, clothes and stuff like that.
00:13:23
Speaker
And so being able to, like,
00:13:26
Speaker
have control in some sense.
00:13:30
Speaker
And I think it transitioned from like food control to school control of my grades and to like feeling like I needed to, you know, just be better so that I could have better opportunities for myself.
00:13:45
Speaker
And then I saw a therapist because it got so bad in eighth grade to the point of like, it just was all consuming.
00:13:52
Speaker
Like if I
00:13:53
Speaker
I was staying up really late.
00:13:55
Speaker
I wasn't like I was very unhappy and I was suicidal.
00:14:00
Speaker
And I would say like I wasn't to the point of like self-harm suicidal, but I just wanted to leave this earth.
00:14:07
Speaker
Like I was just like, please, like I get me out of my miserable mind.
00:14:13
Speaker
And so I saw a therapist for a year, and she was awesome.
00:14:16
Speaker
And it changed a lot.
00:14:18
Speaker
And then I got to high school.
00:14:20
Speaker
She ended up moving.
00:14:21
Speaker
But I would see her weekly.
00:14:23
Speaker
And I think, like, just talking to someone about what was happening in my mind and her being able to, like, provide me insight on –
00:14:34
Speaker
just something different than what my mom was like at a loss.
00:14:41
Speaker
And my dad is a man of few words.
00:14:43
Speaker
And so it was nice to have somebody who was maybe 15 years younger than my mom who I could just chat with and talk things out with.
00:14:54
Speaker
And it was nice to kind of get the attention that I didn't realize I was needing.
00:15:03
Speaker
Yeah, so that was kind of the start of realizing like I do have some type of anxiety disorder around like feeling like I need to be perfect.
00:15:13
Speaker
And then we kind of unpacked that.
Anxiety's Connection to Control and Societal Pressures
00:15:16
Speaker
And it was mostly about like needing this feeling, this need to like control things and feeling this need to show up a certain way or be perceived by others in a certain way.
00:15:28
Speaker
Yeah, it's kind of like you want to control how others perceive you.
00:15:33
Speaker
Yes, yeah.
00:15:34
Speaker
And quite honestly, like, I don't think people really care.
00:15:38
Speaker
No, no pay attention.
00:15:41
Speaker
Everyone is busy with their own stuff.
00:15:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:43
Speaker
And I think it's a lot it is in our heads that we get like, oh, what are they going to think of me?
00:15:50
Speaker
And they're going to see me as weak or this and that when in reality, it's just this overthinking.
00:15:58
Speaker
that happens.
00:15:59
Speaker
So anxiety a lot, it comes because you feel out of control because you don't have control over what others think of you.
00:16:06
Speaker
And quite honestly, it's like it's none of our business.
00:16:09
Speaker
No.
00:16:09
Speaker
What others think of you?
00:16:11
Speaker
I mean, I realize this now, but probably back in the days, both you and I
00:16:15
Speaker
And we grew up, I think, back in the days, too, where it was very image-based.
00:16:24
Speaker
It was like a lot of, especially as women, a lot of emphasis on how women look and how our bodies should look.
00:16:32
Speaker
and how women should behave, so there's a lot of that, and there's a lot of, probably, you also went through, there's a lot of reprimanding, or if you acted a certain way, so there's, like, you know, here comes a punishing energy, right, yeah, you shouldn't act this way, you shouldn't say this, that's not, like, nice girls, that's what, the nice girl syndrome, right, that's not what nice girls say or do, so then you kind of
00:16:57
Speaker
It's that fine line between going to that people pleasing, not being yourself because you try to please others.
00:17:05
Speaker
And therefore, of course, you're not acting like yourself.
00:17:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:09
Speaker
And anxiety is just kind of like, oh, hello.
00:17:11
Speaker
Hello.
00:17:12
Speaker
Pay attention to me.
00:17:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:15
Speaker
That's basically it's just your body reacting.
00:17:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:19
Speaker
And it's also like whatever loop you're thinking about, whatever you're like hyper fix, I call it hyper fixating on.
00:17:27
Speaker
Like, so at the time, like when it got really bad for me, I was hyper fixated on goldfish.
00:17:33
Speaker
Then it was hyper fixated on walking the track and then it was hyper fixated on running.
00:17:37
Speaker
And trying to like change and like be really nitpicky.
00:17:41
Speaker
And I think that it's interesting that we're talking about this now because like I'll go through waves of where I just literally am my own worst enemy.
00:17:50
Speaker
I'll like nitpick my body, things that I don't like about myself, things that I don't want others to know about me because I feel shame from like, you know, childhood or for whatever reason.
00:18:06
Speaker
And I think when I get on those, like, toxic self-talk tracks, it just becomes, like, that's when my anxiety feels most, like, active.
00:18:17
Speaker
Because then I'm worrying about things, like, looking in the mirror, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm getting a double chin.
00:18:24
Speaker
Or, like, oh, my God, like, you know, I just look uglier every day or whatever it is.
00:18:29
Speaker
And, like, I've been catching myself in those, like, really toxic, like, self-talk.
00:18:36
Speaker
hatred tracks and I've always had these and it's, you know, from not looking a certain way, according to my female lineage of how I needed to look as, you know, a woman to attract a life partner or, you know, a boyfriend or whatever at the time.
00:18:52
Speaker
And, and, you know, not, I am a curvy woman, like it, it is what it is.
00:18:58
Speaker
And so when I get in these like negative talk tracks about like literally picking myself apart,
00:19:04
Speaker
That's when I feel most anxious because I don't feel confident.
00:19:08
Speaker
Most of the time, I don't care.
00:19:10
Speaker
Like, it's like I feel pretty confident when it's in, but then it's like something triggers me to start thinking about it.
00:19:18
Speaker
And then I start fixating on it.
00:19:21
Speaker
And then I'm like, I'm not doing anything to change it.
00:19:23
Speaker
It's not like I'm going out and like running every day like how I was before in eighth grade or seventh grade.
00:19:30
Speaker
Because I saw that that was not really serving me at all anyway.
00:19:35
Speaker
But lately, the anxiety around like, you know, it's like this literally the opposite of self-love.
00:19:43
Speaker
And it's like I'm trying to be on this whole self-love track.
00:19:47
Speaker
But when you have those negative patterns of pretty much hating aspects of your body or things that you can't control about yourself.
00:20:01
Speaker
it becomes like this debilitating or like just mentally debilitating when it comes to like trying to be confident.
00:20:10
Speaker
Well, it's exhausting.
00:20:12
Speaker
Yeah, it is exhausting.
00:20:13
Speaker
It's exhausting.
00:20:14
Speaker
And I think it has also to do with acceptance, you know, working on self-acceptance for me also has been a journey.
00:20:23
Speaker
And I don't know if there is ever a finish line around this.
00:20:28
Speaker
I think it's a journey for everyone.
00:20:32
Speaker
just accepting this is who I am this is how I look and again this is acceptance is not about oh this is how I am and you don't do anything to change it I think it's just accepting who you are at your core but of course we always want to strive to grow and evolve right so I think it's to me that's what feels like self-acceptance
00:20:58
Speaker
But I and I think all of us probably go through this as humans.
00:21:03
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:21:04
Speaker
I don't think there's a it's not like bad that you feel
External Stressors and Anxiety
00:21:08
Speaker
anxious.
00:21:08
Speaker
So that's one thing that I want to point out.
00:21:10
Speaker
It's just like, oh, you know, like I, you know, I'm so this and that because I feel anxious.
00:21:16
Speaker
And again, just look at the state of the world.
00:21:18
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:21:19
Speaker
My gosh.
00:21:19
Speaker
It's a shit show.
00:21:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:21
Speaker
Basically, in a nutshell, that's what it is.
00:21:24
Speaker
You turn on the TV, you read the news, like every time there's something happening, there's wars, famine.
00:21:31
Speaker
You know, the stress levels are really high with work.
00:21:35
Speaker
And we live here in the Bay Area.
00:21:36
Speaker
There's a lot of layoffs happening.
00:21:40
Speaker
So it's just like people are in a state of anxiety.
00:21:43
Speaker
For one reason or another.
00:21:45
Speaker
Yeah, whatever it is.
00:21:47
Speaker
And it's hard for us sometimes not to match that, this energy that is kind of like, you know, just like around us.
00:21:56
Speaker
So I think it's important just to find a space too where you can just turn it off.
00:22:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:02
Speaker
from all of this noise so you can find space within yourself you know because my gosh it's overwhelming oh yeah you know yeah and like
00:22:13
Speaker
I'm very grateful that my anxiety only comes up when I look in the mirror.
00:22:17
Speaker
When I look on Zoom, which is really fun all day long.
00:22:21
Speaker
Oh my gosh, yes.
00:22:22
Speaker
I think a lot of us have become, maybe, I don't know about everyone, but a lot of us more self-conscious.
00:22:27
Speaker
Yes.
00:22:28
Speaker
Because you're like staring at your face, and I notice I do that too.
00:22:32
Speaker
Like I'm staring at myself, I'm like, oh my hair.
00:22:35
Speaker
And then I start like, you know.
00:22:37
Speaker
kind of like trying to kind of like you put your hand and try like to pull like your cheeks and I'm like you start becoming aware oh yeah of like certain features and I'm like I'm like when did this when did this happen right right and you like start to like get on this like weird fixated like I get really fixated with like oh god the gravity is not forgiving like this is like the angle of the like how the how the zoom is like
00:23:05
Speaker
reflecting my image back to me and then I'm not thinking about what they're talking about in the meeting.
00:23:10
Speaker
I'm thinking about my double chin or like and I don't really have one.
00:23:14
Speaker
It's just the angle of, you know, well, it depends on who's looking and, you know, maybe I do, maybe I don't.
00:23:20
Speaker
But it's like the perception comes into play and that's when it kind of gets a little wonky.
00:23:25
Speaker
And it like warps your perception of reality and it like then your attention is on it.
00:23:31
Speaker
And then even with manifestation, if your attention is on something and if you're paying attention to something, you're going to manifest it even further.
00:23:39
Speaker
in some degree.
00:23:40
Speaker
So then I get anxiety about like, oh, I'm paying attention to this.
00:23:44
Speaker
Like, then you become more anxious because of your anxiety.
00:23:48
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:23:49
Speaker
And like, I was talking to my co workers a few months ago about like, Miami, because like, that I might be moving to Miami soon, which is kind of cool for work.
00:24:00
Speaker
And so I was like, Oh, it's really hot there.
00:24:03
Speaker
Like whenever I'm sweating, I get anxiety about being sweaty.
00:24:07
Speaker
And then it's a whole thing.
00:24:08
Speaker
Like I get hot from being anxious.
00:24:11
Speaker
And then I'm anxious because I'm hot and sweaty.
00:24:14
Speaker
And then it's just this whole perpetual like doom of hell.
00:24:17
Speaker
It becomes like a cycle.
00:24:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:20
Speaker
Yes.
00:24:21
Speaker
But I think it's also important to notice.
00:24:25
Speaker
Notice when you are feeling anxious sometimes.
00:24:29
Speaker
feelings.
00:24:31
Speaker
One of the things that I also started to kind of change in my narrative, instead of saying, I am anxious, you say, I feel anxious.
00:24:42
Speaker
Because you shift the energy from like being
00:24:46
Speaker
being being the anxiety being the energy to just feeling because feelings they come and go so like oh I feel anxious and then I'll stop and I'll be oh hi hi anxiety right I feel you okay what are you trying to tell me now right yeah it's I most of the time when I catch myself feeling anxious is it's because lately when it's like it's situational right like
00:25:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:13
Speaker
It's, it's like if I'm, it'll usually when I'm looking at myself in the mirror or on Zoom, I'll get like a micro and that's like old programming like from childhood that I know and I recognize and I have the tools to like get myself out of that feeling and I'm very grateful that I do.
00:25:30
Speaker
And like, I'm like, no, this is just like a false narrative about myself.
00:25:33
Speaker
Like this is only my negative perception based on information from my family on how I'm supposed to look and like for what reasons.
00:25:42
Speaker
And then
00:25:43
Speaker
At work, though, when I feel anxious, that's another situation.
00:25:47
Speaker
That's when I am like, I don't have enough time.
00:25:51
Speaker
Like this narrative of not having enough time to do it all.
00:25:54
Speaker
And then I'm like, okay, lately I've been reframing.
00:25:59
Speaker
What do I absolutely need to do today?
00:26:03
Speaker
Priorities.
00:26:03
Speaker
Priorities.
00:26:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:05
Speaker
Prioritization.
00:26:07
Speaker
I try to do like the difficult things first off just so that I can get it out of the way.
00:26:13
Speaker
And like sometimes I am back to back meetings and I don't have the luxury of doing that.
00:26:18
Speaker
But I'll try to find the time of like what do I absolutely need before my next meeting?
00:26:23
Speaker
What do I need to do?
00:26:24
Speaker
What do I need to do in the moment to make my life easier for this next meeting?
00:26:30
Speaker
And then I can move on.
00:26:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:48
Speaker
Yeah, just like worrying about like making sure I get everything done that I need to do.
00:26:52
Speaker
And like I have been like that a lot of my – when I feel like responsible, it's like a responsibility picture that comes up in my space.
00:27:01
Speaker
Like making sure that I am being responsible.
00:27:04
Speaker
I'm taking ownership.
00:27:06
Speaker
And then sometimes I'm like maybe I'm taking ownership and responsibility for things that I'm not responsible for.
00:27:13
Speaker
And then a lot of the anxiety, I've been unpacking this recently, so that's probably why I have a lot to say on it.
00:27:19
Speaker
Basically, like when I'm recognizing like myself going into over responsibility or taking responsibility for things that other people really should be owning, that's when I take a step back and be like, no, I'm going to give my permission, myself permission to only show up for the things that I need to show up for and only take responsibility for the things I need to take responsibility for.
00:27:44
Speaker
And then that has kind of released a lot of like this extra excess worry.
00:27:49
Speaker
Like I can't control what other people do.
00:27:52
Speaker
I can't control if they're going to do their work and when they're going to do their work.
00:27:56
Speaker
I just have to trust and like flow with the universe.
00:27:59
Speaker
Yeah, I also call this calling your energy and your power back.
00:28:04
Speaker
Because when you put a lot of worry and this anxious energy on others, it gives your energy away.
00:28:15
Speaker
So anxiety still is telling you, well, where's your energy?
00:28:19
Speaker
Right.
00:28:19
Speaker
Right?
00:28:19
Speaker
It's always like it's outside.
00:28:21
Speaker
It's outside because you're trying to control
Life Changes and Anxiety
00:28:23
Speaker
things.
00:28:23
Speaker
You try to become responsible, fix things.
00:28:26
Speaker
save others and all this stuff and then it's like okay you need to bring your energy back to your body I you know my situation now is that I feel anxious because of the transitions that I'm going through my life a lot has to do with again work
00:28:45
Speaker
And I think for me, what triggers me is I go into past time energy where I've been through situations of extreme survival.
00:28:59
Speaker
And that kicks in again, like, oh my gosh, things are just like, so this catastrophic thing.
00:29:09
Speaker
thoughts that come into my mind like oh where I'm gonna live am I gonna have money to this and that so it's just kind of like it becomes like a snowball of like yeah like it's very like survival sort of uh thoughts that are very intrusive uh so that kicks in but again like I try uh whenever those thoughts and this
00:29:32
Speaker
feelings in my body come in, I just try to like take a step back, and again, like it's this energy that you have to bring it in and pause, and pause is so important, because we're like, ah, just like so caught up, and just like,
00:29:47
Speaker
Getting like, yeah, getting this energy of like, ah, you know, just trying to fix everything like right away.
00:29:54
Speaker
And sometimes it's like pause and then just say, OK, I noticed that I'm like spiraling into this like all this like horrible situations that haven't even happened.
00:30:07
Speaker
maybe it probably won't happen but again like sometimes our minds like we're going to this past time energy and you think oh my gosh i felt that way i'm gonna feel it again so i'm like okay i don't want to put energy into that so i am safe now and this is what i i tell my body okay i'm safe now we're okay
00:30:27
Speaker
We're okay.
00:30:29
Speaker
And I think, and this again, like, I'm not saying this is easy.
00:30:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:33
Speaker
This is not realistic for me to say that, but it's an, um, it's a process, you know, of like, of course, like we've been through the meditation training.
00:30:42
Speaker
We've been able to like do this, all this inner work.
00:30:45
Speaker
But I think it's a lot for anyone that is listening.
00:30:48
Speaker
I think it's taking a moment to do some self-reflection too and get to know yourself.
00:30:53
Speaker
I think the more you get to know what triggers you and what does anxiety look like to you, what does it feel in your body?
00:30:59
Speaker
And then you start catching that, becoming more aware.
00:31:03
Speaker
So then you can say, OK, what's the next step?
00:31:06
Speaker
OK, I just say, OK, I am safe.
00:31:08
Speaker
I'm OK.
00:31:09
Speaker
And then I speak to the universe.
00:31:11
Speaker
OK, I see what you're doing.
00:31:14
Speaker
I trust you, but I trust that I'm also going to take actions in order for me to feel, you know, that I'll be okay,
Social Anxiety and Public Perception
00:31:24
Speaker
too.
00:31:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:24
Speaker
You know, so I think it's not like a one, you know, a one-size-fits-all, I think, for... No, and it's continual.
00:31:32
Speaker
It's every... It's doing the work every day.
00:31:34
Speaker
Yeah, it is a daily practice, you know, and again, those feelings of anxiety might show up in many different ways.
00:31:41
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:31:42
Speaker
it might hit you in the face.
00:31:43
Speaker
Right.
00:31:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:46
Speaker
It might come out of an hour like, whoa, it might be subtle too.
00:31:50
Speaker
You know, you might find yourself, I also, you know, you mentioned about social anxiety.
00:31:53
Speaker
I've also struggled with social anxiety up to this day.
00:31:58
Speaker
I've had times where, oh my gosh, I wouldn't leave the house because I would become so anxious going anywhere.
00:32:05
Speaker
It didn't matter because I didn't want to be around people.
00:32:09
Speaker
I felt overwhelmed.
00:32:10
Speaker
I didn't want to talk to people.
00:32:13
Speaker
I just went into the space, you know, and I think COVID also didn't help, right?
00:32:17
Speaker
Because we all had to stay home.
00:32:22
Speaker
And then you start socializing again.
00:32:24
Speaker
So there's this anxious feelings that come up about, of course, you don't want to get sick and all this stuff.
00:32:30
Speaker
I think now we're in a better place, you know, three years after.
00:32:34
Speaker
But it's been a journey into it, you know, and I recognize it, you know, whenever I feel...
00:32:41
Speaker
And I, you know, if you have been, you know, my friend throughout the years and also Shannon, if I cancel plans, don't take it personal.
00:32:49
Speaker
I know.
00:32:50
Speaker
Because I do have times that I'm like, I just cannot do it.
00:32:53
Speaker
Oh, totally.
00:32:54
Speaker
I mean, I always love when people cancel on me because then I get my own time back.
00:32:58
Speaker
Have you ever heard of this, they call it Jomo, right?
00:33:04
Speaker
Which is the joy of missing out.
00:33:05
Speaker
That's me.
00:33:06
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:33:07
Speaker
I have like absolutely like no like intention of like participating like in events and all this stuff being out and about.
00:33:15
Speaker
I'm like, no, I'm just good of like, you know, if I can stay home and chill, that's my vibe.
00:33:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:22
Speaker
No, it's so interesting because I like last night I had social anxiety.
00:33:27
Speaker
So I was like at a restaurant with my friend Brittany.
00:33:30
Speaker
I took her out for her birthday or belated birthday dinner.
00:33:33
Speaker
And then I saw this group of people staring at us.
00:33:36
Speaker
And I was like, why are they staring at us?
00:33:38
Speaker
Like, I was like, is there something on my face?
00:33:40
Speaker
Do I have pizza sauce?
00:33:41
Speaker
Like, I immediately went to like that old narrative, like there must be something wrong with me.
00:33:45
Speaker
That's why they're staring at me.
00:33:47
Speaker
And so I caught myself and I'm like, huh, like, why do I, why do I do that?
00:33:52
Speaker
Why do I immediately, if a group of people is staring at me, why do I immediately, and it goes back to like this, you know, wound of not feeling seen or fear of feeling seen or when you felt like you weren't seen for so many years and then when people start to look at you, it's a really weird sensation.
00:34:09
Speaker
And so it was like, okay, I still have a little bit of work to do on that.
00:34:16
Speaker
Like I just like constantly question, like why are they staring at me?
00:34:19
Speaker
Yeah, because you start feeling it's all about you.
00:34:22
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:34:23
Speaker
Yeah, you get in, like, your self-talk tracks, whatever those are, and it just becomes, like, this, like, this thing, even though I'm, like, they could have been looking at someone past me.
00:34:33
Speaker
I have no idea.
00:34:34
Speaker
Yeah, it could be about anything.
00:34:36
Speaker
It could have been anything.
00:34:37
Speaker
Yeah, but it was, like, I'm, like, why are they staring at you?
00:34:39
Speaker
Like, I just kept fixating on it.
00:34:41
Speaker
And then, but I would catch them throughout the night, like, just staring over in our direction, and I was, like,
00:34:46
Speaker
There's not really a lot of things to look at over here.
00:34:48
Speaker
Maybe they thought you were beautiful, too.
00:34:50
Speaker
That's very nice.
00:34:52
Speaker
It's a thought I never think about.
00:34:54
Speaker
Right?
00:34:55
Speaker
So we can also entertain that.
00:34:57
Speaker
I think as people go into this, you know, I don't like to call negative.
00:35:01
Speaker
I'm just going to call negative in quotes.
00:35:02
Speaker
You know, all this unhealthy thoughts and patterns.
00:35:07
Speaker
I'm like, well, but what about...
00:35:09
Speaker
So flipping, flipping, flipping, you know, the narrative.
00:35:13
Speaker
Well, maybe they thought, oh, look at those girls.
00:35:17
Speaker
Isn't this like I always like to kind of like always because usually when we go into the start, we always tend to think like it's black and white.
00:35:26
Speaker
right like oh it's because i am it has to be this oh it has to be this it's because oh you know they got a problem with me you know it's kind of like that attitude of just like it's a defensive right oh totally it's a very defensive energy yeah and then i try to like energetically shield myself because that's something that i can do but i've been trying not to do that as much unless i feel like i need to
00:35:48
Speaker
just trying to stay open and like, you know, if people want to stare at me, they can, but I don't want to see them staring at me.
Support and Encouragement for Listeners
00:35:57
Speaker
Yeah, well, it is uncomfortable, you know, but again, like it could be so many different things, but we do get caught up in our, you know, and this, my gosh, this,
00:36:07
Speaker
overwhelming thoughts and lists that we have in our minds.
00:36:13
Speaker
And again, it's a lot of pastime information that's still kind of like running the show, like, you know, kind of like behind the scenes as I had the subconscious thoughts that unless we bring it to the surface and become aware of it, it's always going to be there to run the show.
00:36:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:29
Speaker
So you kind of have to, every time you catch yourself feeling a certain way and again,
00:36:35
Speaker
don't judge yourself or don't shame yourself because when you do that then you give power away so it's just you know just pause and breathe okay I feel this way just let it kind of pass through you yeah you know
00:36:51
Speaker
Yeah, no, I feel like I needed to, you know, air out all of my worries, apparently.
00:36:55
Speaker
My anxiety is on this episode of Psychic Girls Next Door.
00:37:00
Speaker
No, I love it.
00:37:00
Speaker
I have a human anxiety.
00:37:01
Speaker
Yes, it is, yeah.
00:37:03
Speaker
I think it's important for us that we share also that as psychics, we're humans too.
00:37:08
Speaker
We also deal with feelings of anxiety, and, you know, if you are feeling this way, just know that you're not alone.
00:37:15
Speaker
Yeah, and if you really need to, like, reach out for help, like,
00:37:20
Speaker
If you had a similar experience or if you're experiencing a similar experience to what I, you know, I experienced in eighth grade, you know, I was very lucky to have a mom who took me seriously and listened and, you know, sought, like, professional help for her daughter.
00:37:35
Speaker
And, you know, there are tons of resources out there we're happy to link.
00:37:38
Speaker
the resources on our page, like there is help.
00:37:43
Speaker
And if you are feeling like you need professional help, definitely follow through because it literally saved my life.
00:37:50
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:37:51
Speaker
I feel that asking for help is really important.
00:37:57
Speaker
So please do so if that's what you need right now.
00:38:01
Speaker
And please feel free, of course, to leave any comments.
00:38:04
Speaker
share your stories we are also here to hold space for you but thank you so much for joining this episode and hopefully you will join us next time thank you so much from the psychic girls next door