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Episode 47: From Scarcity to Abundance - Breaking Generational Patterns
97 Plays19 days ago
In this deeply personal episode, Lili and Shannon explore the pervasive nature of scarcity mindset and its roots in family history, major life transitions, and societal conditioning. Recording from different geographic locations, the hosts share intimate insights about breaking free from survival mode and learning to receive abundance in all its forms.
Episode Highlights
- [00:00:04] - Welcome back with renewed energy; hosts now recording from different locations
- [00:00:49] - Introduction to the topic of scarcity and its prevalence in modern life
- [00:01:11] - Lili shares her family's immigration story from Japan to Brazil during WWII
- [00:04:09] - How major life transitions like moves trigger deep-seated scarcity beliefs
- [00:05:20] - Shannon's costly wedding season: $2,000 for a Vegas bachelorette weekend
- [00:07:52] - Catching limiting beliefs even when resources are available • [00:09:54] - The survival reality of expensive cities like San Francisco and LA
- [00:11:57] - Guilt and shame around surpassing family's financial struggles
- [00:14:24] - Single life challenges vs. dual-income couple dynamics
- [00:17:13] - Breaking the "give, give, give" pattern and learning to receive
- [00:20:06] - Examining childhood money stories and parental attitudes
- [00:22:30] - The comparison trap of social media and curated lives
- [00:24:01] - Shifting focus from lack to abundance through conscious attention
- [00:26:05] - Self-reflection tools for examining limiting beliefs
- [00:28:25] - Moving from shame to acceptance, lack to gratitude
The conversation serves as both a personal sharing and a roadmap for anyone ready to examine their own relationship with scarcity and take steps toward a more abundant life. Through vulnerability and practical wisdom, Lili and Shannon demonstrate that breaking generational patterns is possible, even when it feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar.
Note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.
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Transcript
Return of 'Psychic Girls Next Door'
00:00:04
Speaker
Hello and welcome to Psychic Girls Next Door and we are back, officially back and if you haven't heard our past episode, do recommend checking it out and it's just so good to be back.
00:00:22
Speaker
Yes, I'm super excited that we're we're back. We're feeling good The energy has shifted. Things have changed. There's a lot going on in the world. ah But I think it's good to like come back to yourself in these moments when things feel...
00:00:39
Speaker
very out of control and very, very wild and out and not so much in a positive way to like find like, how can you create like inner peace for yourself? And through this podcast, I feel like I've created this an outlet for us to like talk about what's going on internally and what we've discovered about ourselves, like growing through the process of the environment that we're in the world that we're living in.
Recording from Different Locations: Why?
00:01:06
Speaker
um But today we want to talk about scarcity. ah fun! Yeah, that is a very good topic. um I mean, given everything that is going on and and if you're wondering and you see Shannon and I in different settings, there's a reason for that. If you haven't really caught up you know with our latest news, we are in different locations geographically, so that's why.
00:01:34
Speaker
You see us remotely chatting on this podcast. But the energy is it's the same. We're kind of seeing space energetically. So that's what matters.
Immigration and Scarcity: A Personal Story
00:01:46
Speaker
Well, scarcity, I mean, it's been topic that's been so predominant, and I feel like, at least in my life, um I just cannot even remember a time when that was not present, which is kind of sad if you think about it.
00:02:07
Speaker
ah But you know even like looking at my family's history, And if you're not fa familiar with my story, like my grandparents from both sides, they immigrated from Japan, you know, escaping from World to Brazil, and there's been a lot of struggle.
00:02:28
Speaker
challenges, lack, famine, you know, you name it yeah you all that good stuff, yeah but it's in the lineage. um So they've been through a lot and all of that, it gets passed on, right?
00:02:47
Speaker
Got passed on to my parents and therefore I've also like, you know, I can see how that reflects and still in a lot of my patterns and in my beliefs.
00:02:59
Speaker
And it's been a process, you know, just to really um shift my perspective on this mindset. You know, and it's something that it's it's just not easy. You know, it's just something that you kind of like overnight, you're like, oh, no, i don't have this mindset anymore.
00:03:19
Speaker
Or this set of beliefs. These are things that are very ingrained, you know, almost like in a subconscious level. Mm-hmm. And it runs in the background in a way, you know, that ah I've kind of like I came to realize too, you know, there was still running and it's still running, you know, like in the background and a lot of my um ah things that are going on in my life right now.
Financial Strain of Moving
00:03:43
Speaker
So Shannon and I, we were chatting before we started recording here about like, you know, significant changes in our lives, right? ah moves, transitions, and how all of these things it can trigger, right?
00:03:58
Speaker
There's different levels of these beliefs about either know scarcity or a lack, especially financially, right? Like that's right the one that really hits hard our daily lives.
00:04:11
Speaker
Yeah, like when you're moving across country, like, like you know, you moved a couple states away and like, It's what does that really entail? Like, oh, that means like, I mean, luckily you were able to like live with family for a little bit, but like you have to go back and get your stuff and like, oh, it's going to cost money for you. Hall, it's going to cost, you know, kind of like.
00:04:34
Speaker
it taps into that place in your mind where you have to think about your resources and like whether you're super tuned in to your financial resources, whether you're super structured.
00:04:44
Speaker
For me, I am not structured in any way. And like, because i am a little avoidant. If I don't, don't want to look at something, I will not. I will act like, I'm like, oh, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. It's like the wiener dog in a room of fire.
00:04:57
Speaker
Even though like it's not actually fine, I'm just coping with the discomfort of feeling like I'm in lack for such and such.
Social Events and Financial Pressure
00:05:08
Speaker
like um I like to go shopping and I do have a good job. have a great salary. like I am in a place now financially a lot better than I was last year.
00:05:20
Speaker
i think last year i was like in a place of feeling obligated to saying yes to like friend events, especially weddings, bachelorettes.
00:05:32
Speaker
One bachelorette, I spent 2K for two days in Vegas and all I got was a plastic cup You know? like It's a very expensive plastic cup. It was Cinco de Mayo weekend.
00:05:47
Speaker
We planned it in February. Like, i I plan events as part of my job. like That should have been planned in November. Like, it's so it's like little things that, like, you can save money. You can design on a dime. I'm like, we did not need to spend $2,000.
00:06:00
Speaker
And I'm like, literally, like, all I got was this lousy cup from the Cosmo. And it adds up, right? like Like, every single event. And it's not just, like, the travel you have to think about. Healthy. Outfits and the thing. Outfit, accommodation and food. And there's like a all of it. Spending money when you're out and about, you you know, activities and all of that stuff. yeah It all ends up.
00:06:24
Speaker
Totally. And like when you're at the mercy of other people planning it you can't really have a say in, hey, let's consider other people's budgets.
00:06:35
Speaker
Like, let's consider like, so I think that was a great learning lesson that I went through last year. i had a great time at all of these bachelorettes, all these weddings.
00:06:46
Speaker
But at one point I was like, all I can think about is how expensive this weekend is. yeah that And it takes you away from the moment of actually being in the moment and enjoying the time with your friends.
00:06:58
Speaker
Because you're thinking about all the resources that you've had to spend because your programming is geared and shifted towards the lack or like the limited resource mindset or the scarcity mindset of, I'm spending this money and I won't get it back.
Guilt in Spending: A Discussion on Abundance
00:07:16
Speaker
like The fear of life not having it.
00:07:20
Speaker
is kind of like the subliminal programming that I was running on. Yeah. my like Same. I have a very similar belief to, for me, it's always like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I spent this much money yeah on X, Y, and z You're like, you know, not too long ago, like say, you know, I spent like a few hundred dollars on my...
00:07:41
Speaker
hair, getting my hair done. And then, thank you. But it's like, and, but I caught myself saying, Oh my God, can't believe that I spent all this money on my hair. But then i I kind of was like, wait, but I do have the money.
00:07:58
Speaker
Right. You have the resources. I have the resources and it's not like, you know, there's like, I'm kind of like in a, in a space where there's, absolutely zero money. Right, right. You're in ah you're in an abundant place.
00:08:13
Speaker
Yeah, you're in a better place, but it's just like, you know, when you catch yourself in those like, limiting belief right yeah yeah like and worried about like how much you spent and counting in pennies which which is also great too because you know you're budgeting you're mindful you're budgeting you know you want to be cautious about where you're spending your money and that's one of the things for me um It's, I think, looking back to, I mean, because now I can kind of see my life in two different phases, right? When I live in California, which is very expensive, and love California, i love every city that I live in. I live in LA, I live in San Francisco, and San Francisco is expensive, let's just be honest, you know?
00:09:03
Speaker
And i look back and i'm like, i don't even know how I survived. Yeah. And, uh, but it's always one of those things that it's like, it's always felt like a struggle.
00:09:14
Speaker
Right. and Like everything, like, even though like there were times when I had like a full-time job and I was making like decent amount of money, I had like a salary. Right. It still was kind of felt like,
00:09:26
Speaker
limiting in many different ways of kind of like, oh, I can't spend our money on this because then I'm not going to have money for rent or pay my bills. It's trade-off dynamic or and it it might just be like the situation at the time. But like when you start off in a situation where you're like, oh, I can either do this or that. Like my sister and I always joke around. We're enjoying our rent.
00:09:50
Speaker
We're enjoying our rent this weekend. But it's true. The rent's The cost of doing things is high. Like you can make a great meal at home and enjoy your rent and watch Love Island like or whatever you want to do at home. But there seems to always be like this tradeoff, especially if you're in a place where you know, the financial, if you're in that sense of like a boxed in feeling of like, I'm only making this certain amount of money from my salary. If you don't have multiple streams of income, if you don't know how to do that, like, sometimes like I'm in a situation where I have one stream of income right now.
00:10:29
Speaker
and it's working for me i'm in a very you know i'm in an abundant place now but like for a long time i'm like i had four jobs at one point and like oh you know yeah like so did i yeah yeah having to hustle and bustle all your way through that process and just be able to survive and like live here not even thrive so when you're in a place of like having to be in survival mode for so long you're so used to that level of discomfort so that you kind of become come so comfortable with that type of discomfort.
Shifting from Survival to Abundance
00:11:01
Speaker
And then when people don't talk about this enough where you start to phase out of that when you are making a little bit more money or having an opportunity to live with family and not, you know, or having having more abundance in your life. And and abundance is not just monetarily, you know, the only version of abundance. It can be several types of forms of abundance.
00:11:23
Speaker
And yeah when you you shift into that, that can feel so uncomfortable in a different way. like Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, I feel also like I can speak for others, but in my experience, it's Also, when you come from a space where um it's always been a struggle in the family, and and say like in my in my case, I came to a different country because I also wanted to
00:11:54
Speaker
have a better life, better opportunities, it's hard not to like match what has been already running in your family, right? Because like you feel like you're kind of in a better place.
00:12:09
Speaker
So it's almost like, well, I kind of feel guilty. and so there's a little bit of guilt and shame that kind of goes into it. Well, you know, does it mean like I don't belong to this family anymore? Like I, you know, you get judged and there's like all this like comments about it, ah you know, so it is kind of like a weird place to be in.
00:12:33
Speaker
when you start like becoming a little bit more empowered in your energy, it's like, no, i don't have to carry this moving forward. Right. Like I don't have to match this survival energy.
00:12:48
Speaker
moving forward and that's where I've been too like the last crush my most of my adult life has been about survival grinding and hustling you know like very like keeping my head out of the water and I've had like phases in my life that I didn't even know if I was gonna have money to right pay rent or pay like my next meal you know it's so And I've been in those places too.
00:13:15
Speaker
Even like last year when I was still you know living in San Francisco, there were moments that I'm like, gosh, like I don't know if I can continue living like this. I, you know, even like I kind of was like, should would I live in my car? I even know like I consider that, you know? Right. Because, you know, it's so exhausting. Yeah, because you're kind of like you living paycheck from paycheck. And some people don't even have the luxury of like privilege of having a paycheck, you know? Right, right.
00:13:43
Speaker
you just kind of make enough money to get by. And then I'm like, gosh, like do I live in my car so I can kind of save money? so you can't even like, I went through all of those, like, you know, thinking about like all this stuff. But like, in my case, I'm also very lucky that I do have family ah that I can rely on, which is not the reality for a lot of people, you know, having a support system of people that can kind of like lean on.
00:14:08
Speaker
And again, like I'm speaking for someone, like I'm single, so I don't have like, children, i don't have a family you know that I support and provide for. us It's different circumstances.
00:14:19
Speaker
its ah different different circumstances Yeah. We're out or we're at. yeah Totally. Yeah. No. And i I was thinking about that too. Like i I'm, I've always been very like, not envious cause I don't want say it's envy, but like, I'm always thinking about Like, wow. Imagine how being like a dink couple, like a dual income, no kids. Like you split the rent, you split the bills. Like I've been single for so long. Like I've never experienced like living with a partner,
00:14:47
Speaker
knowing what it's like to split the rent and like basically cut your like life costs in half by like sharing that with somebody else. And I'm, I've always been very like envious of that. And I'm thinking for a long time, like I, the mask that and the programming and the information I've been running on lately in the past couple years was like, I am not attractive enough to be a a partner, a partner.
00:15:11
Speaker
Like I don't have dowry. for if a man were to like look at my financial shit i'd be like so embarrassed and that shame was kind of dragging me down and keeping me in that loop of like feeling so comfortable with that financial discomfort and it was also like masking and preventing me from even like giving myself a chance to be emotionally open and available for like a partner to come in.
00:15:40
Speaker
i was just rejecting myself immediately because I was so hyper fixated on my lack, what I didn't have, my you know financial shit show of a situation. And it's really not that bad. Like in retrospect, like I know there are people who are in situations that are like,
00:15:58
Speaker
way worse than mine so like i have to constantly check myself and be like no no you're you're good you're fine like be grateful for what you have but it's this constant ping-ponging of like be grateful and then being like i'm not enough for a partner and like i don't have enough to support a partner financially and all of those things.
The Balance of Giving and Receiving
00:16:19
Speaker
And I realized like, oh, that's very like me operating in my masculine energy because like, if I'm really gonna attract a partner in, do I wanna take care of them financially? No.
00:16:29
Speaker
Like I- want to be the one to receive. And I realized like, oh, I wasn't even operating in a place of giving myself permission to receive anything. I was giving, giving, giving. I'm giving, giving, giving my energy, my time, paying attention and helping people at work.
00:16:44
Speaker
And then in return, I get a salary. That's great. i like That's an even exchange for me. But when you're constantly ah provider of like attention, um caretaking, when you're giving, giving, giving, whether it's your energy or your resources, your time, whatever it is,
00:17:01
Speaker
you it you become so used to giving giving giving that you kind of forget ah how to receive so that's something that i'm healing on now like permission to receive yeah well because if you look at it the energy of the abundance is prosperity it's It's flowing and it goes both ways. And it's going to have highs and lows.
00:17:24
Speaker
It's never going to be like a high when you have, you know, all of it. There might be times when you also have to like, you know, spend and give it away, whatever. But I feel like women, we've been so conditioned in this society to always be the provider, the giver, you know, you sacrifice for others. So it's been very embedded And, you know, how we were raised and, uh, and when it's your turn to receive, it's almost met with like, Oh, do i deserve it?
00:17:58
Speaker
Right. Like, where we are risk yeah like no no, no, no, no. And then that's, that's kind of like that, um, you know, I think we can always like, you'll see people like, Oh no, no, no, no. Like I don't need this or um no, no, no. I'm okay. Right. Like, so we can always like, well, kind of default to that mode of like, no, I don't need that. I can do this on my own. I mean, dependent. And the reality is that it is, of course it is nice to have ah with a partner or family that can help you split the bills, split the costs of whatever it is, you know, but again, like, um, just having that is not necessarily guarantee that financially you will be okay.
00:18:40
Speaker
Right. you know, things can happen. Totally. Partner might get sick, might get laid off, and then it becomes, you know, a big challenge in the couple's relationship or in the family. a Right. show yeah You never know, you know.
00:18:56
Speaker
ah But, I mean... It's hard, you know, it is hard to be so conditioned in this mindset.
Family Influences on Prosperity Perceptions
00:19:03
Speaker
um Also that money and prosperity abundance, oh, it always only happens to other people, you know, like, I mean, like, i joke, like, I don't want generational trauma, I want generational wealth, and it would have been great if I was Being born to a family, and you just don't have to think about like giving going to work and providing for yourself or for for your family.
00:19:30
Speaker
But not a lot of us you know worrying that's art or are in that situation. Right, right. But then again, it's kind of one of those things, it's like, well, how how do we get out of this mindset or energy and start making shifts toward becoming yeah more abundant and more prosperous? ah And I can speak from my experience, it's like, it's looking and
00:20:03
Speaker
especially like in childhood. Yeah. Right? Like what was it? What did, how did your parents talk about money? Right. but How did they, yeah what was the answer? How did they receive? How did they, did, were they also like hustling and bustling, which is also, you know, a lot of reality for a lot of people.
00:20:24
Speaker
Was there shame around money? Right. it like What happens to the neighbors or is it money associated with like, oh, if they have money, they're evil or they're like arrogant, you know? So it's kind of like having to like really assess what is it the underlying beliefs and what's being running in the background of things, because that will dictate a lot how we see this energy of abundance and prosperity in our relationship with it too.
Societal Pressures and Personal Realizations
00:20:55
Speaker
Yeah, no, it's true. It's like, I think like early on, i witnessed like my parents, like they, my dad's an independent contractor. He had his own business growing up.
00:21:06
Speaker
My mom was a part-time worker. Like, you know, I think combined income. I don't even know if my family ever made six figures, you know, like that just was not a thing. And like, there's no shame in it. and I'm taking the shame away. think I've healed on the shame that I felt through that process. And I didn't really realize that until I went to college of like, wow, people have so much more than I have ever had.
00:21:38
Speaker
And because then you kind of start to see the world around you, like when you, whether you like move out of your house, you don't have to go to college do this. In my personal experience, it was going to college and then just being around a lot of rich people and just being like, whoa, they've never had a want for anything.
00:21:53
Speaker
What is that like? Like that is such a blessing. That's such a gift that they have never, been hungry. They've never not been able to go on a trip.
00:22:06
Speaker
They've never not been able to, you know, get something. They didn't have to have a job in high school to buy their own stuff. But I think the experiences that you go through, you grow through, right? Like being able to like understand and it makes you grateful for the things that you've like earned. And so that was that may not they may not have been able to go through that experience or they may have gone through it and in a very different way.
00:22:30
Speaker
And so it's like when you, I realized that I had a lot of comparison pictures that I needed to heal on through that experience of like yeah comparing what I do or don't have to other people if they do or don't have.
Changing Focus: From Lack to Abundance
00:22:44
Speaker
I think and our society does that. like Yeah, I mean, because we, if you think about it, we are where we compare, right? Especially in the age of social media and what you see curated.
00:22:57
Speaker
ah you know on anyone's um perfect, I'm gonna put quote unquote, perfect lies, like all the trips and the expensive stuff. But again, like you just, you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Right, right. Just like that idea of like me wanting that dink lifestyle. Yeah, right.
00:23:16
Speaker
You don't know, right? it looks It looks great in paper. It looks great in paper. you know, on your Instagram grid or whatever it is. And, uh, it's easy to compare yourself to that. But, uh, I do feel that when you are in this energy, when you're kind of going struggling, whether to financially, eat you know, cause the lack and scars getting so many different ways, it could be maybe not having a lot of friends or community that can be also like a scarcity lack mindset or resources around you.
00:23:51
Speaker
Um, it's also like we tend to focus a lot on the lack oh I don't have this I don't have the money I don't have blah blah blah I'm not gonna have and you focus so much on that that that becomes it it becomes the reality right so I would say another way of also looking at it it's just recognize ways that you're putting your focus and your attention. Is it like, I don't have it. Oh no. I, you know, as we were talking about spend too much money on it. What is the narrative that goes around whatever it is, right? where That is, you feel like it's lacking.
00:24:36
Speaker
Right, right. Like, like you spending money on your hair, even though you have it like that, like fear of like, whatever, whatever is behind that, for me, like I've interpreted it as like fear of like, not getting it back, right? Or like, you know, feeling guilty for spending money that you have every right to spend however you want people exactly. And then spend it like, yeah,
00:25:00
Speaker
And then on my end also like recognizing that and wow that's was running in the background and but also recognize like wait but that's not my narrative. I could see like my parents narrative.
00:25:13
Speaker
Totally. Yeah because they would be a lot in this ah you know narrative of saying, oh, no, this is too expensive. We can't afford this. like like um you know like Even saying, well, why are you spending all this money on this? It seems like... You're counting a judgment on you spending money. The judgment like, well, this is so shallow. But again, like it's your money. Exactly.
00:25:40
Speaker
you know And it's not like I'm spending erratically or things like that. But it's interesting just to kind of notice. i think it's...
00:25:51
Speaker
just doing like an inventory around like all these beliefs and how do you act when you feel like you're kind of maybe stuck right in these situations where you feel like oh my gosh like why does it always feel a struggle and a challenge and that's anomaly forward.
Self-Reflection on Scarcity Beliefs
00:26:14
Speaker
um right and it's just like self-reflecting, well, what ah what is it that i what is it that I'm always saying? What is it that I'm always like listening, even from people around you, you can even like notice from their own projection, like, because they're also reflecting back to you, ah what is going on in your life? Wow, this person's always struggling. Well, how does this also like, is showing up in my life? I think it's also like a good way of just like,
00:26:40
Speaker
doing some self-reflection, just getting curious about it, you know, and just meeting all these beliefs and all this, uh, whatever it might be. Maybe it's a mindset. Maybe it's something that it has been like so, uh, predominant in your family, like in your conversations, why do you catch yourself always saying like, Oh, I can't do this. Like, because, right but but but and, uh, and just meet all of this with a bit of curiosity and,
00:27:09
Speaker
Just give yourself some grace too, because these are patterns, they're not easy to break. No, no. The first step into really breaking out of it is just recognizing like, at least like what it is and then start taking action towards like, oops, okay.
00:27:29
Speaker
I see it, caught it. Okay. Can shift the narrative? of Can flip the disc? Right. In a way. Right. Like, what are you paying to, what are you paying most attention to in your inner realm?
00:27:44
Speaker
And like, where does it feel the most uncomfortable? That's where you want to look because that's naturally where you're not going to look. Well, absolutely not. This is, it's not fun.
00:27:55
Speaker
So like, just say, I mean, in all of us, like, I would say, gosh, that is just like the most fun place to be at, which is not, but sometimes you do have to kind of like dig a little deeper and just kind of really like, kind of like kind of open it up that little closet that's been closed for a little while and just just be curious and explore a little bit more but you know but you know hopefully this will kind of be give you guys some more um abundant ideas
00:28:26
Speaker
into kind of like be in the space where we can be also abundant and how we support each other especially in this world and spread a lot more gentleness and kindness because I feel like that we're kind of also lacking in a lot of situations too Right, like replace that lack with what are you
Listener Engagement: Embracing Abundance
00:28:47
Speaker
grateful for? What makes you feel good? What takes you out of that feeling of like not having enough? What's the opposite of that?
00:28:54
Speaker
Like for me, the opposite of like that shame was acceptance. How can I reach that acceptance? Now that I'm kind of in that acceptance, how can I move into a place of abundance and love and like attracting in a romantic partner?
00:29:08
Speaker
So that's kind of like, you know, what is the opposite of the feeling that you're in and how can you shift it? What small steps can you do to shift it? So that's where, that's my two cents on that. Yeah, thank you so much I love it. Yeah.
00:29:20
Speaker
ah So, you know, this is great. ah But hopefully this was inspiring to you. Let us know also if you also have any tips and what do you do also to kind of tap more into this energy of abundance and prosperity. And we'll see you on our next episode.
00:29:37
Speaker
Yeah. Thanks for listening.